Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 10 )

Room for Rent

Chapter Ten (Wow!... we've come so far!)

AN: Erm… I apologize to Ichigo (?), but I'm not writing a lemon. I can't write them very well and it wouldn't go with the theme of the fic anyway… hee hee.

Also, thanks to Jou (who is a vegetarian, btw. Let us clap for Jou), you get a dictionary. Here's the Japanese terms I remember using:

Gina-chan: Mariku's pet name for Baku. Gina means silver.

Chibi ichi: (literally) tiny one

Ja ne: see you later

Moshi moshi: telephone greeting

Chikan: rape, I think ;)

Err… that's all I can remember. Ah, well. Mou.

Onto the chapter!

"Marikuuuuu…" Bakura whined.

"So, you finally decided to come crawling back?" Mariku asked, inspecting his manicured nails.

"Ra no. It's just… I need advice…"

"Romantic advice?"

"NO!"

"Are you suuuuure?" came Malik's singsong tone from beside Mariku. "I bet you finally decided to come out of the closet."

Bakura was tempted to ask the blonde how he knew anything about being in the closet, but settled on plagiarizing Inuyasha. "Feh."

"Aww, Baku's finally found someone to love? Could it be out dear Ryou?"

"HE'S MY DEAR RYOU!... Errr… OF COURSE IT'S NOT RYOU!" Bakura added unconvincingly.

"So, what did you want help with?" Mariku asked, stretching and putting an arm around Malik, who giggled.

Bakura blushed. "Well, I…"

"I've got plenty of lube, if that's what you need…"

"OH MY RA NO!" Bakura yelled. "I'm not a sex fiend like you!"

"You haven't gotten that far yet, have you?"

"…No," Bakura finally admitted, shoulders slumping.

"Poor Gina-chan… I can make it better…"

"I don't want you to make it better," Bakura said, pouting.

"How about we come over to dinner?" Malik suggested, twirling a strand of golden hair in his fingers. "I'm sure we could think of something that would drive Ryou into your arms…"

"YOU'RE NOT GROPING MY RYOU!"

"Possessive, aren't we?" Mariku asked, getting up from his seat and draping his arms over Bakura's shoulders. "But don't you want to do this to Ryou?" The arms closed around him. "And this?" Mariku rested his chin on Bakura's shoulder. "And how about this?"

"STOP THAT!"

*~*

Somehow, by the grace of Ra or Kami or Brahma or any of those other dudes, Ryou let Mariku and Malik come over to dinner. Ryou had, at the last minute, cooked some ramen and stir-fried some broccoli, mushrooms, and onions, but the guests didn't complain.

"This is lovely food you've cooked us, Ryou-chan," Mariku said, winking at Ryou. "Do you cook this well for Bakura?"

"No. I usually make him eat spinach."

"Oh, that makes me feel special. How `bout we ditch the loser and go clubbing?"

"N-nani?"

"Or we could take you on a tour of the red light district," Malik proposed.

"Eep!" Ryou yelped. "No, that's quite all right; I'm not all that interested in going to a bordello."

"Oh, we would make sure they didn't try to take you. So, what do you say?"

"Still no," Ryou said, discomfort increasing by the second. And to top that off, a warm thing kept brushing against his foot. He blushed deeply, tucking his feet in his chair.

Bakura watched him strangely as Ryou shifted in his chair to accommodate his feet. "Ryou, do you need to borrow my medication?"

"You mean the meds you never take?" Malik questioned, but was ignored.

"No," Ryou answered, still flushed. "I'm fine, it's just…"

"MARIKU, WERE YOU PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH RYOU?!"

"Err…" Mariku began, visibly uncomfortable. "Malik was doing it too!"

"I'm your uke! You're supposed to protect me!" Malik yelled, looking outraged. Bakura, meanwhile, went into Super PMS-y Overprotective `Kura Mode, and heaved a dining room chair into the air, throwing it at Mariku.

His aim was off, and the chair hit Malik in the head; Malik fell over dramatically, unconscious. Mariku then went into his How-Dare-You-Hurt-My-Uke Mode…

And that was how the Great Plastic Fork Duel began…

*~*

Of course, how it ended was an entirely different matter. Malik had come to and he and Ryou were chatting about their favorite reality TV shows.

"I like watching Bachelorette," Malik said conversationally, completely ignoring the chaos occurring around him.

"Pfft. How can you watch that? Sitcoms like Golden Girls and Nanny are soo much better," Ryou said.

"You watch Golden Girls, too? I looove that show! Sophia is so funny!"

"Well, I like Rose; her mind is sterile."

The doorbell rang. Seeing that no one else was going to answer it, Ryou tromped over to the door and opened it. "Oh, hello Yuugi, Yami. Come in… if you don't mind those two," Ryou said, pointing toward the two boys, who had dissolved back into throwing large, blunt objects at each other.

"Though it's depressing to admit, I'm used to it," Yuugi confessed. "Mai and Jounouchi throw things at each other all the time."

A preoccupied Yami didn't notice a plastic lawn chair speeding toward him. "Yami!" Yuugi yelled, pushing his love out of the way. The green flying object hit him in the back of the head, causing him to collapse.

"Yuugi…?" Yami asked, staring at the younger boy's face. His eyes had turned into little swirlies and a big lump was forming on the side of his head. "Grrr…"

Yami stood, eyes glowing crimson as he advanced on the culprit, Mariku. "How dare you hit my itooshi?

"I-I didn't mean to," Mariku stammered, backing up until he found he had gotten himself stuck against the wall. He realized that Yami was about to give him the smackdown of his life, so Mariku acted in the only plausible way.

"Ooh, kinky…"

Yami turned green and backed away from the sniggering blonde, under the pretext of checking up on Yuugi. The extremely cute, extremely short boy was slowly coming to, and instantly cuddled up to Yami when he felt the familiar warmth of his koibito.

This sort-of signaled the end of the Great Plastic Fork Duel, so everyone took their seats on various pieces of furniture.

"Why did you guys come over here anyway? You know it's always crazy around here, with Bakura living with me…"

Yami coughed. "Oh, well… Yuugi wanted to give all his friends chocolate, you know… for Valentine's… at least, that's what he told me. I don't understand it myself, but there you go…"

"Grr… stupid Valentine's," Ryou growled, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

"I'm hungry," Bakura said loudly.

"You just ate," Mariku pointed out. Bakura gave him the nix sign, which the Egyptian somehow understood.

"Anyway, I imagine Yami and Yuugi are hungry. Would you like me to warm up some of the Ramen?"

"No…" Bakura glared purposefully at Yami. "Ehh… well, I suppose I could eat something…"

"Exactly! So, come on."

Yami followed Bakura into the kitchen, leaving Yuugi in the care of Ryou. "What do you want?"

"What's wrong with the Ryou?" Bakura asked.

"Pfft." Yami hopped onto the counter, picking up a bag of pretzels and munching on them. "Ryou's last boyfriend dumped him on Valentine's."

Bakura waited a second for this to sink in. Processing, please wait… "You mean I don't have to convert him?"

"He's always been on both sides of the line, if you know what I mean. Of course, he hasn't been very romantically active since last year… you know, when Seto dumped him…"

"NANI?!" Bakura yelled, outraged.

"Yeah. Seto and Ryou used to be the perfect couple, but then the news reporters found out and… it sort of ruined Seto's reputation. His reputation is pretty important, him being a big CEO and all… so when Seto said that he couldn't date Ryou anymore, Ryou decided that it was for the best anyway."

"Mou…?" Bakura's googly crimson eyes had big tears in them. "Kaiba got to Ryou first…?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "Your Ryou still has his hat, if that's what you mean…"

"Ryou has a hat? What kind of hat is it?"

"A mobile phone company hat," Yami answered.

"Nextel? Verizon? Bubba Joe's Cell Phones?"

"VIRGIN!" Yami screeched, finally losing his cool.

Bakura clutched his bruised ears. "Eh…oh. Mou. Erm… back to your story?"

Yami didn't seem like he really wanted to continue, but did anyway. "Neither of them have dated anyone since then. I know Seto still loves Ryou… I imagine it'd be hard to get over it once you've fallen for him… but Ryou doesn't seem to have feelings for anyone anymore. I don't know if he's even capable of them… he's very fragile, you know."

"That's why he'd be the ideal cute uke!" Bakura said happily, hugging the air (which was apparently a representation of Ryou).

"Riiight. Well, I'll leave it to you to find that out. I'm quite happy with Yuugi. Now, if you'll excuse me, me and these pretzels have a date with the living room."

"Err… all right. Goodbye, Mister Shiny Pants," Bakura called after Yami. Yami choked on the pretzel he was eating. Standing in the doorway to the living room, Malik and Ryou ran to investigate.

"YAMI, YAMI! ARE YOU O.K.?!"

"Do you remember the ABC's of First Aid?" Ryou asked frantically.

"Erm… let me think… no."

"DON'T DIE, YAMI!"

Mariku finally had to use the Heimlich Maneuver on Yami (seeming to enjoy it quite a bit), since everyone else was either incapacitated or having a breakdown.

"I'm never eating pretzels again…"

AN: Will Bakura be able to melt Ryou's icy heart? Will Mariku ever stop being a C.S.F. (Chronic Sex Fiend)? Will anyone even CARE?! Erm…mou.