Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Screwed ❯ Chapter 2

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Screwed

Chapter 2

Mitzumi: might as well hustle out the next chap. Thanks to the library I can set a regular post schedule and it is every Monday after twelve. I don't know how it's gunna go once school starts again but we'll see….

Yami: you don't know…how much…I dispise you right now…

Mitzumi: what's that? You want me to make you into a spider and make you lay hundreds of eggs? evil grin

Yami: shrink nooo….

Mitzumi: then be good and let us go ONWARD!!! makes weird motions

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Yami's POV

Whoo boy…that's it…I've lost my mind.

I have to admit, that's pretty creative of Marik…or Bakura…whichever one did this. They're making me think I've laid an egg. Pretty egg, but still, an EGG.

Last I checked, males don't get pregnant.

Last I checked, humans don't lay eggs.

DID I MISS A LESSON IN BIOLOGY CLASS?!?!?

The only creatures who lay eggs are birds, fish and reptiles…and the platypus but that's a mammal. So besides the point. But that still doesn't explain why I, a perfectly normal mortal male with Shadow powers, would lay an egg.

Oh. My. Gods.

What if this is a result of me having Shadow powers and if that's true then-

What my dad is actually my MOTHER?!?!?!

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

“I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!!”

there is a bang on the wall to my left, followed by a: “Pharaoh, shut the fuck up! If you want to have an identity crisis, have it OUTSIDE.”

Insinsitive ass tomb robber. I towel the egg off and wrap it in a blanket before gently tucking it into my backpack. I don't know why I'm being so careful. It's just a hallucination, right?

… …

I hope.

I must go see Ishizu.

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normal POV

Ishizu Ishtar was just about to lock up Domino Museum when a tri-colored blur grabbed her, pulled her inside the building and sat her at her desk. Winded by the sudden movement, she blinked to see Yami standing before her, his face flushed and panting hard.

“I…need…your…help…” he panted setting his backpack on her desk. He turned and used his powers to lock the door to her office.

“uhmm…sure Pharaoh. What is it?” Ishizu had never seen her lord so hyper and frankly, it was a bit frightening.

He turned back to her and unzipped his bag and brought out the bundle. He unwrapped it, revealing the egg. For the first time, EVER, Ishizu's jaw dropped.

“Yami, where did you get this?” she asked, in her shock using his nickname. She raised a hand to caress the intricate designs but the egg pulsed, as if warning her not to touch.

“I l…l-l….ll-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-laaaaa….”

“you what?”

“I laid it,” he said, his voice really quiet on the middle word,

“I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.” She leaned closer.

“I LAID IT!!! IT WAS IN ME, NOW IT'S OUT AND IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! OH MY GODS, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! IS THIS THE GODS WAY OF PUNISHING ME FOR PAST SINS?!?!? WHAT IF IT'S GENETIC AND MY FATHER IS ACTUALLY MY MOTHER?!?!? HOMIGAWD DANIEL NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

“I'm sorry in advance, my lord but…”

then she slapped him.

Hard.

Yami stopped immediately with his rant. He went silent then took a deep breath.

“thanks Ishizu. I needed that.” He said calmly, rubbing his cheek.

“no problem. Now about this egg…”

“I think it's a result of Marik or Bakura playing a trick on me.” He said, glaring at the egg. It wiggled as if uncomfortable under his glare. Ishizu raised an eyebrow.

“you weren't saying that a minute ago.”

“that was just me trying to wrap my brain around this. I mean, it's not possible for males to lay eggs?”

“I'm sure it would make more than a few gay couples happy but no, not possible. And I do not believe this is genetic because if it was, it would have been on record of your family or I would have saw it with my sennen necklace. No, this is unique to only you, my lord.”

“greeeaaat…I don't have the reasonable excuse of going bonkers, I'm just a freak of nature. Bakura and Marik are going to have a field day with this.” Yami leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, with a sigh.

“you not a freak, my Pharaoh-“

“said the cult member to the 5,000 year old mummy…”

Ishizu frowned. “did you consider that this is the father's doing?”

Yami blinked. “wha?”

“meaning, maybe the last person you slept with is more that than they really are.”

“but the last person I slept with was….”

“yes?”

he suddenly stood straight and grabbed the metal baseball bat Ishizu kept in her office to dissuade theives when she stayed late.

“my Pharaoh?” Ishizu said alarmed.

“I. Am. Going. To. KILL. Kaiba.”

And with that frightening statement, he stormed out.

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Mitzumi: uh-oh…Seto is in trouble,

Yami: tch. he deserves it.

Seto: do not.

Yami: what are you doing here?! You haven't been intro'd into the story yet!!!

Seto: shrug Mitzumi invited me. Besides, how can I stay away from you? hugs Yami

Yami: stay away I -

Seto: kisses Yami

[noises ensue, clothes are being thrown everywhere]

Mitzumi: O.O uhh…that's all for now…wow, didn't know Yami could move THAT way… anyway, R&R&R….

pulls out a video camera