Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Simple ❯ What Are We? ( Chapter 16 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: YamiYugiPuzzleshipper2 
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.01.2014 | Pages: 12 | Words: 9.6K | Visits: 106 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.01.2014 | Pages: 12 | Words: 9.6K | Visits: 106 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I do not own
anything relating to Yu-Gi-Oh
Note: Story will be updated every Wednesday
Warning: TONS of cursing throughout story
Lemon Warning: If you want to skip the lemon, don't read past the statement "I want background noise" and continue to "So...what are we going to do now?".If you don't think you're going to remember that, use F and Ctrl and type both phrases in, then delete the first phrase when you come up to it and use the Find function to get to the second phase where the lemon is finished and continue to end of chapter.
Lemon Note: This lemon is SERIOUSLY major for the story. Just saying...
Note: The mentions of suicide are just that. Mentions. It didn't happen, but is rather just overreactions on the behalf of Yami's cousins. The mentions of underage drinking is just some insinuations on Yugi's behalf. There is ALSO a brief mentioning of religion that I put in there just to show the difference between Yami's mind set and others'. I personally don't have anything against religion at all but for the purpose of the story, Yami has a moment of thinking about and dismissing it as rubbish. No offense was meant.
Chapter XVI: What Are We?
Yami spent the night on the couch after her visit. And it was odd because he had never liked the living room before but now it felt oddly liberating to be there, stretched out across the cushions, watching comedies that were not funny in any way, shape or form. The gay comedy he watched a few minutes before the animated animal film he was currently taking in, was not funny by any means.
Was comedy code for fucking pathetic?
He snorted and tipped his head back, glancing at the ceiling fan thoughtfully.
He kind of wanted it on but at the same time he didn't want to pull the cord.
Laziness made him resist the urge. Laziness made him hum softly in a bored tone.
And it sure as fuck kept him away from the cord dangling over the coffee table.
Too much energy to jump on it and then have to lean up on his tiptoes.
Too much fucking energy.
Ugh, he never seemed to have enough of that anymore.
The pizza he had ordered was already devoured but he hadn't bothered to throw the box away.
Too much work to move his legs and take it into the kitchen, to put it in the trashcan. Too much fucking work.
And he felt kind of sick to his stomach now too. Because he should be mourning the loss of the two people who had been constants in his life for thirteen years. But he was so tired of them, so damn tired of feeling sorry for himself.
And yet that was what he was doing right that moment.
Feeling sorry for himself.
He was staying up until three in the morning watching comedies that were not funny.
He was eating pizza he had tobribethe company with a two-hundred-dollar tip to even get because they were just about to close and they didn't normally take orders at the time he called, just fifteen minutes before closing; all of them had gotten mad and he had been forced to listen to them argue with him until money proved fundamental enough a cause for them to overlook his little blunder time-wise.
He was laying on a couch with no motivation whatsoever to do anything but stare blankly at the TV which held no amusement for him in any way.
He was staring at a ceiling fan that would never work until he pulled on the damn cord.
He was doing all of these things and nothing more. He was the literal manifestation of the sin "sloth"–and who the fuck even named it that? When the teacher first mentioned sins in class freshman year, he had thought he had misspelled it or something, because surely ananimalcouldn't be a sin, but no, every text book had the same spelling as the one on the board.
And then he had gone on a two-week thought process about how an animal could be a sinner when all they did they were forced to do by circumstance in order to survive. No, humans could sin, because that was their nature. They sinned and then they pretended that some higher power would save them from it all, erase all of it from memory and bring them to salvation.
Yami yawned. Even the thoughts in his head were coming out slow and boring, complete repeats.
He got up finally, when a commercial break came up telling him to stay tuned for an acne medication he sure as fuck didn't need, and headed into the kitchen. And there, sitting on the counter, was a bottle.
And the bottle made his heart pound blood through his system faster.
And that blood warmed his skin and left him smirking with a twist of his lips that put the Cheshire cat to shame.
Oh yes, this was going to be fun.
Yugi kind of froze when he stepped into the room. There was a strange odor in the air that smelled vaguely like…creamer? He shook his head and then wandered closer before stopping and glaring.
Yami was passed out on the couch, half draped over it with his face half in the cushion and half falling off, right hand laying on the table right beside a rather fancy looking wine bottle.
Oh, no, it waschampagne–a veryexpensive-as-fuckchampagne.
Yugi shook his head and sighed before pinching Yami's side.
The taller male recoiled like he had struck him, backing up into the furthest spot he could reach in his awkward sleep-induced haze, eyes wide as he looked him over before letting out a huff of breath and curling up again.
"Yami–"
"Go away, Yugi. I'm tired."
"Yeah, that kind of happens when you fucking drink all night." Yugi glared at the champagne bottle. "Who the fuck does this anyways? This shit is forcelebrationsnot fucking…depressing shit-fests of–is that supposed to be a joke? Because I don't find it funny at all. That's supposed to be common sense."
Yami turned his head away and bunched his body up so that his elbows and knees were drawn up under his stomach, curled into a ball with his face turned away into the backrest, obviously trying to get his ears away from Yugi's voice.
He leaned forward and lowered his mouth near his ear, saying, "What the actualfuckYami?"
The taller boy reached up and touched his chin before moving his fingers up the side of his face, drawing burning hot lines that made Yugi want to moan, trailing down the center of his nose before his forefinger and thumb plugged his nostrils together. "Ssh."
Yugi burst out laughing and pulled his hand away by the wrist. "That's not how you make someone shut up. You keep their mouths shut."
"I don't have any duct tape right now."
The smaller boy smiled and poked him in the side, earning him a startled jump and wide eyes before the red gaze narrowed into a glare.
"Go away."
"No. You have a problem. Well, shit, that has to be the most obvious thing in the world–drinkingchampagneto get drunk."
"Huh?" Yami muttered, blinking wide eyes.
"Did you run out of thegoodstuff or something, Yami? I mean, honestly, you don't just fucking grab the first bottle you set your sights on. You get the stuff that youknowwill get you good and hammered. It's that simple. I don't know why you haven't learned this stuff by now. It's theheavystuff that will get you somewhere."
Yami blinked again and then started to sit up. "I'm not drunk."
"Well, obviously not now. You slept it off, idiot. But that probably isn't much of a hangover is it?" he murmured, taking a seat on the coffee table and crossing his legs, kicking his right thoughtfully. "I mean, it can't be much of one, right? It was champagne after all and you drink fancy wines and I'm pretty sure champagne falls in that category so…unless of course you mixed it. Did you mix it?"
Yami opened his mouth.
"Then again, if you mixed it, I would like to see the recipe you cooked up. You were passed out like you had a wild night and someone just dumped you there." He paused and then gave him a grin that put the Cheshire cat to shame. "Is that what happened? Did you get too plastered to even give directions to my house? So they found your house by your ID or whatever and dumped you here? That would be one hell of a story to tell others."
Yami opened his mouth again.
"You know, for an intervention, this is a pretty fucked up turnabout. I mean, shit, Yami, you couldn't get others to come besides your fuck buddy who you haven't fucked for two weeks now?" Yugi complained, looking at the champagne bottle and curling his lip. "I should get you tested for STDs. Cause if you were so hammered that they just dropped you here, whoknowswho you fucked in the meantime?"
The taller boy blinked and opened his mouth again.
"You know, if you caught something, I'm not fucking you anymore. I mean, shit, my penis is aprize. I can't just have you hopping on it and infecting the shit. No, the merchandise must becontained." He hummed and looked up at the ceiling before focusing on him again. "And, oh, by the way, even if it's some of that crap that actuallycango away with medication, your dick and me? No relationship. I refuse."
The taller boy shook his head and opened his mouth again.
"Anyways, so, I was thinking that we would talk about our fucking arrangements but this shit…wow, Yami, you have outdone yourself. I mean…shit, it almost looks like you understand what I'm saying and everything."
"I do understand what you're–"
"You know, actually, an intervention between two people might not be such a bad idea. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, that kind of thing…but the rest of them always have everyone else around so that if a fightdoesbreak out their wimp asses can gang up on you and separate you before things get bad…" Yugi held up his fists and narrowed his eyes. "Come on, Yami, put them up. I'll kick you ass."
Yami gave him a horribly confused look, glanced at the champagne bottle, looked back and then grabbed it and shoved it into his face. "Smell."
Yugi shoved it away. "What the fuck? I don't want to smell it. What did you–?Pleasetell me you weren't on something else and like…fucked a bottle or something…" He looked the opening over. "No, that would be too small for your dick to get in…not too small an opening for you to masturbate into, though…"
At the horrified expression on his face, Yugi laughed but then the bottle was shoved at him again. "Yugi, just fucking smell it."
"No. What the fuck did you do to it? I'm not putting my nose anywherenearwhere you've masturbated. I'll take it up the ass but seriously? This is kinky shit I won't get into."
Yami rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake, Yugi"–the smaller teen opened his mouth to say something further but the taller teen shot forward suddenly and grabbed him, shoving the bottle under his nose and making him sniff.
"Oh…is that coffee?" he muttered, pushing it away and wrinkling his nose.
"It is," Yami agreed, pulling the bottle into his lap and starting to tear at the sticker on it. "I dumped out the champagne–it was one of the ones my father bought as a peace offering in order to make me drop the lawsuit against him. I was looking at it last night and I just got really fucking mad so I poured it down the drain and I couldn't sleep and I liked the bottle so I started messing around and then I remembered that caffeine has the opposite effect on me so then it became apparent that while I wanted something to drink out of the bottle, coffee would suit me better because it puts me to sleep. But yeah, I really like the glass. I mean, look at the bottle. I like its shape…"
"Oh…well what the fuck?"
"I don't know. I got bored. I have to have something to keep me occupied before I can fall asleep."
"No, I mean–coffee puts you tosleep?" he muttered, eyes wide.
"Yes."
"So then…what the fuck do you use for hangovers?"
Yami blushed and ducked his head. "Warm milk and honey."
Yugi balked and then burst out laughing. "No shit. Are you being serious?"
Yami nodded, blushing harder. "I do, it's the only thing that gets rid of my headaches. It's been a remedy since I was younger."
"Headaches? I'm talking about…wait, what do you mean headaches?"
Yami fiddled with the top of the bottle, tapping his fingers against the glass and looking down at the sloshing black liquid at the bottom. "I guess my father got a little…smother-happy one night because I started having seizures at some point when I was six. And afterwards, things just got worse. I started getting chronic migraines for weeks on end. They're rather crippling, in all honesty. I can't move to save my life. My father always found them weak, but whatever."
"Why do you keep calling him that?"
"Calling him what?"
"Father? Instead of dad or something…"
"I…used to get punished if I didn't call him father. Anything less and he'd whip me until I was bleeding," he murmured, shrugging. "I can't just lose the habit out of nowhere. Plus, I have to keep going with it just in case…"
"In case what?"
Yami shrugged again. "I don't know. But what I do know is that I am not going to call him regular old 'dad' anytime soon." He paused. "So what are you doing here? And how did you even get in here?"
"I ran into Bakura as he was leaving. He left the key under the tree roots over there and I grabbed it and came inside. I was wondering what the fuck he was doing if you were passed out like this."
He opened his mouth and then closed it again and then muttered, "I'm on suicide watch."
"What?" Yugi demanded a little sharply, eyes wide.
He shrugged halfheartedly and put the bottle back on the table next to him, watching as Yugi unconsciously moved it a little father away. "I have been for a while now."
"Seriously? I didn't think I fucked you over that badly…"
Yugi sounded fuckingawedand Yami resisted the urge to punch him.
"No, you didn't. It's been like this for far longer. Since…since before I told you that I…" He didn't complete that statement but realization dawned in those bright blue-violet eyes. "That's why Bakura and Malik started making sure I sat with them every day at lunch or why Bakura called when we were about to fuck. It…um…they're all doing it. Seto even has Mokuba calling when he can't call me himself. Mokuba doesn't know why he has to but Seto says it's important so he does it."
"But if he saw you passed out–"
"He probably did the same as you and assumed I was drunk and sleeping it off. All he would need to do is check my pulse or watch my breathing for a few minutes. They might be crazy but they aren't stupid. They know how to take care of someone who's plastered. Fuck, I think maybe even Mokuba knows that."
Yugi didn't comment that it was crazy for an eight-year-old to know that but Yami could see it in his eyes and ignored it completely.
"Either way, the point is, the reason he was here was probably because of that. It's not at all surprising," he murmured, grabbing the remote next to Yugi's hip and hand, his wrist accidentally brushing the soft skin and making Yugi's mouth open slightly before his tongue poked out to wet his petal soft lips. Yami ignored this display pointedly.
"Bakura was on the phone when he was leaving…He said it wasn't surprising you were taking it so bad. What did that mean exactly? Was he talking about us or…?"
"They don't even know aboutus," Yami spat, "because there is nous. There is Yami and there is Yugi. There is no YamiandYugi. There is nothing between us to merit them being concerned. As far as they know, I fucked you two weeks ago and I haven't gotten horny enough to invite you over again."
Yugi blinked wide eyes.
"No, what hemeantis that my mother came over yesterday," he snapped, grabbing the bottle and then heading into the kitchen, dumping the dark brown-black liquid down the sink with a frown as he noticed the empty carton of creamer on the counter next to a massive bag of white sugar.
He never really was one for black coffee but he could have at leasttriedto put them back before he passed out. He wouldn't be surprised to find bugs in there considering the luck he'd been having recently. Yami peered inside, shaking the bag slightly so that the grains shifted some to allow him to see that there was nothing too out of place inside.
He snorted, dumping the empty carton in the trash and simply rolling the top of the sugar's bag to close it, not bothering with further inspection; he would do that some other time, preferably when his mind was actually working at one hundred percent and Yugiwasn'taround.
"Oh really?" He sat up a little straighter, eyes wide and searching as they sought his out upon his return to the living room. "What did she have to say?"
"What else could she possibly want, Yugi? She came to disown me permanently."
"What?" Yugi recoiled, eyes wide. "N-no way. You can't be serious…"
"I am dead serious," he responded with a small shrug. "Father was here and I suppose she came with him. He must have given her the address because she showed up here and spoke to me."
"…What did she say exactly? I mean–a-are you okay or–?"
"I am fine."
And he was.
He was fine.
Not because hehadto be, but because hewas.
And he had no explanation for it, but sometimes that was how life worked.
Maybe he had just outgrown them. Maybe his love had turned into bitter resentment at some point. Maybe he just…didn't care for their company anymore. Maybe he just no longer wished for the life they tried to present him with. Or maybe…he was just fine because he justwas.
Maybe it was that simple.
Or maybe it was so much more complex than he could ever imagine.
The point was, he was fine.
"Really?"
Yami nodded once and then climbed over the back of the couch, twisted his body and fell, rolling through the air for a split second before landing on his back and looking at him from the soft cushions.
"You don't…want to talk about it or something?"
He couldn't help the scoff. "Why would I want to talk about it with you? You said it yourself. This is only meant to be fun. I should never have said it. I should not have grown attached. And you were right. So please, don't pretend like you give a fuck now, Yugi. Keep those fucking ice walls around you and don't pretend to defrost on my account."Yugi was silent for a moment and then he looked away. "Yami, I…um…I think…I'm confused."
Yami did not mention that this whole thing of keeping the walls up included telling him about his problems, included him trying to bring him back in like a fish on a hook.
"I think I might…I think I might love you too. But I don't really know." He licked his lips. "I don't know how to describe it. And I don't know if it's just lust or not. I…I think about you a lot, but that could just be because…"
Yami nodded once even though his statement went unfinished.
"I think you were right when you said you didn't think I knew what love was either. Maybe I don't…but how can I if I don't know what itfeelslike?" Yugi bit his lip hard and then looked deep into his eyes, searching for something, dying to uncover something that Yami couldn't give him, wouldn't give him, because he didn't know what it was or how to offer it to him. "I want to see…if it's just lust. Because if it is…then it solves everything right?"
Yami blinked once. "You wish to sleep with me? To see if it feels the same as all the other times?"
Yugi nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Yami did not mention how cruel a joke this seemed to be. He did not tell him that he should not have said he thought he loved him just so that he could fuck him. Instead he stared silently, because if he opened his mouth, he thought he might end up trying to talk sense into him and at the moment, he didn't want that.
He wanted to pretend. He wanted to pretend that even for the next few moments, no matter how false, no matter how small and untrue, Yugi did love him back.
Because the words…they sounded almost real.
They sounded like he could twist them in his head andmakethem real.
So he didn't say anything.
Because sometimes pretending was better than reality.
Because hehatedhis reality.
"You don't…have to…"
Yami did a good job of not mentioning that the thought of fucking someone that Duke Devlin had fucked made his stomach churn. And he did a good job of not letting the images that sprang into his mind of the two cloud his judgment. And he did a good job of not letting his emotions rush through him as he stared back at him silently, contemplatively, not bothering to truly speak as he looked him over.
Just as Yugi did a good job of avoiding the subject altogether.
"Please?"
Yami stared for a long time and then slowly glanced at the TV and back. "Can I at least put that back on?" he muttered, watching the black screen for a moment before turning back. "I want background nose."
He neglected to addIt makes me feel less lonelyout loud.
Yugi gave him an odd look, twisted around to look at the screen, and then slowly turned his attention back to him, raising an eyebrow. "I guess…"
He didn't give him enough time to question it, instead pressing the power button and then murmuring, "Go upstairs and grab a couple of condoms from the box upstairs. They're in the drawer of the nightstand on the right with the lamp. Top drawer. I think there might be lube or lotion or something in there. I don't know. Bakura decided to get it for me because he didn't want me 'hurting myself' trying to jack off while I still had the brace on."
Yugi burst out laughing at him and Yami flipped him off, but the smaller teen took off upstairs and the time that it would take for him to get the things would give him enough time to think straight.
This was going to help no one.
But that didn't really matter to him, not at the moment anyways. No, what really mattered was the small idea that was forming in the back of his mind now. It made his skin prickle and his stomach twist and his tongue dry and his heart hurt.
He turned his head and listened for Yugi's footsteps but the smaller teen was not coming just yet; that was just as well, because if Yami was right–and he was going to test this out if it was the last thing he did–he felt he needed the time to prepare for that possibility.
He took a deep breath, tilted his head to the side, told himself that it would be fine, shook his head when he started to picture Duke and Yugi fucking, and then forced every single bone in his body to relax for a moment.
And it worked.
When Yugi got back down there, Yami was ready.
The smaller boy handed him the condoms and bottle, frowning a little as he muttered, "What are you going to…? I get the condoms, I mean, that will keep the couch clean, but what about the lube? What is that for?"
"I want to try it out. I want to see if it feels any different than dry does."
That was such a stupid explanation. He would have more of a chance convincing Bugs Bunny to get in the fucking pot and stay there than he had making Yugi believe that, because the look he gave him said he was dubious of this reason,extremely, but he didn't argue and that was the first thing that made alarms go off in the taller boy's head.
"Sure, I guess," he muttered, shrugging. "Whatever."
Yami didn't realize how much this was going to hurt in the long run. He had just thought that maybe…if he was just wrong…
But so far, it wasn't looking like he was.
"Go ahead and get your clothes off. I'm going to see how the fuck you use this. Bakura said something about it heating up when you blow on it or something?"
Yugi didn't mention how ridiculous that was considering it was going up his ass and he couldn't exactly see Yami leaning down with his face between his legs and blowing on his ass to see if it worked. Even Yami wasn't that crazy.
He rolled his eyes, a little miffed by the fact that Yami was not kissing him, but when he saw the way the other boy was studying the bottle, reading it and looking it over, honestly staring at it, he decided that it was another whatever thing and instead started stripping as Yami had instructed.
And then he felt weird because all these times they had made out and gotten the clothes off each other outside of their last time but this was different. Yami wasn't stressed out. He was relaxed and reading a stupid bottle. He wasn't screaming at his cousin to call him back some other time because he was about to fuck him.
No, none of that was going on.
So why the fuck did he have to take his own clothes off? He was starting to feel like some kind of whore Yami had paid money to fuck…
Regardless, he dropped his boxers and jeans on the floor and watched as Yami started to strip of his own clothing before very slowly spilling some of the lubricant onto his fingers and looking it over; he thought that maybe the taller boy might have even sniffed it at one point, but then he realized that the scent of it was strong, like licorice.
Yami groaned and shook his head. "Fucking Bakura."
"What the fuck?" Yugi muttered. "He bought you licorice-scentedlubricant?"
"Technically, it's for masturbation, so I guess he was just trying to get me a nicely scented thing–like lotion, but I hate licorice. He fucking did this on purpose," Yami hissed. "He knew I wasn't going to ever use it for that."
Yugi snorted. No, instead he was going to use it on him…
Yugi was a little disappointed and definitely squirming when Yami pressed a lubed finger inside of him, looking a little unhappy himself but not bothering to speak his mind about it; all throughout the time that he inserted his fingers, pumped and stretched him out, he had that same look on his face and Yugi didn't understand it and it kind of pissed him off but at the same time he felt odd at the strange sense of rejection the back of his mind brought forth.
Lubricant and condoms…
They'd never used them before.
Using them now instead of going dry…felt a little like an insult. Like Yami was saying something without actual words.
But that thought was killed before it truly formed because Yami rolled him under him, pressing against him fully with a somewhat blank look to his eyes as he held the majority of his weight off the other boy. Yugi wasn't even sure when Yami had gone about rolling a condom on with the lubricant, but it was there. He felt it when the sickening cool substance entered him and he couldn't feel Yami completely.
It was cold, so much colder than Yami ever could have hoped to be, and it felt weird, slippery, odd, a little disgusting in all honesty. He liked dry much better, where he could actually feel Yami moving in and other of him without a single barrier…
And now he was being the bitch.
First he called Yami a bitch when they fucked the first time when Yami was sober and now he was being a fucking bitch because they weren't fucking dry.
Yami closed his eyes and buried his face into his neck, began a slow thrusting rhythm that sped up gradually but didn't really hold anything in it. The boy inside of him seemed lost in his own head so it was really like being fucked by some kind of puppet or a robot…or something lifeless like that.
And then, suddenly, he just stopped and Yugi froze, worried about him, but startled when he pulled his head back and looked at him curiously for a moment, propping his elbow next to Yugi's shoulders, red eyes burning as they stared into his.
"Just kidding," he announced, smirking and winking, but there was something in his eyes that said he was disappointed; most likely, Yugi realized slowly, that he had not attempted to snap him out of this imaginary stupor. "So, anyways, if you want to see if you…feel the same, how do you want this?"
Yugi blinked. "What do you mean?" he asked in pure confusion.
"I mean, do you want me to…um…make love to you"–Yugi felt his eyes stretch wide and his mouth open and close the tiniest bit as he blinked a few times–"or are we just fucking again?"
"Uh…what…what's the difference…? It's all just…sex right? I mean…" He offered a small strained half-assed smile that looked more like a grimace. He honestly never had understood why they called sex so many things–shacking up, fucking, having sex, sleeping together, fooling around, hooking up…making love. It never made sense to him.
Yami blinked and then turned his face towards the TV for a moment, seeming to actually watch, and then slowly turned back just as Yugi was about to snap that he was beneath him, not on the TV screen. "There's a difference. Fucking is…what we've been doing. And…making love is what I did that night…" He looked away and leaned a little to look at the floor beside the couch, suddenly reaching down and pulling a penny off the ground, smirking at the shiny copper coin before putting it on the table. "Anyways, the night I was drunk as all fuck and told you I loved you."
Yugi blinked a few times. Making love…that was practically what Yami was doing when he…seemed to be worshipping him? A cold chill of fear wrapped itself around him and centered in his chest for a long minute and he couldn't fight this one off like he had all the rest before; the three seconds of letting it control him wouldn't work.
He was staring up at a pair of red eyes that watched without a single hesitation, unblinking and searching for whatever it was that Yugi wanted from him but finding no answer because he didn't have one for him.
"Let's put it this way. Would you like to be pounded into the couch or would you like to go slow?" Yami stated after a few minutes of Yugi staring at him with that wide-eyed, fearful look.
"I…I…um…t-the s-second one?" he managed to stammer out, confused and feeling sick to his stomach for a moment.
He honestly had no idea if he could handle Yami as he had been that night.
Ha, but then again, the boy was already inside him so odds of him pulling out to kiss him all over like he had then were slim to none.
But the thought of that died away just as fast as he had initially been able to conjure it up when Yami pulled away and out of him abruptly, rolling them over so that Yugi straddled him.
"Um…what are we doing?"
"You're going to top," the red-eyed boy announced.
"I…what?"
Yami nodded easily and hummed once. "You can take the condom off if you want. I mean…you are still clean, right?"
"I–y-yeah."
"Then go ahead."
Yugi bit his lip and stared for a long time. He actually semi-expected Yami to lose his patience, but again, the red-eyed boy proved to have rather endless patience for him, watching him curiously for a minute before craning his neck and closing his eyes, the act merely giving him some privacy that he had not consciously known he desired but also giving him a place to start.
His lip was trembling and his muscles were twitching beneath his jaw, fingers shaking slightly as he licked the dry flesh and slowly lowered his mouth to the golden-bronze skin of his arched neck. And he knew Yami could feel that persistent tremble of his lip but he didn't comment and the fact that he let it go without an issue was amazing by all means as far as he was concerned.
And god, if he didn't need that little bit of reassurance Yami wouldn't make fun of his current fear. Not that he wouldn't understand if Yamididtease him about it. It wasn't common that you had the self-proclaimed "slut" kissing your neck with such fear that it made their lips tremble against your skin.
But he was so lost. What else was he supposed to do?
Of course he had topped before, not as many times as Yami had, but he still had and it was annoying how scary the concept of actually acknowledging if hecouldlove the red-eyed teen truly was.
His chest twisted with the irony of it all.
How scared had Yami had to have been to have to get drunkjustto tell him he loved him? And how scared had he been to have had to actually acknowledge the feelings himself? How hard must it have been for him to actually turn around and tell Yugi and then face his parents after?
In comparison it seemed miniscule, but Yugi had made himself into the bad boy for this very reason–so that no one would actuallyfall in lovewith him.
And yet, for whatever reason, Yami had done just that.
And he honestly couldn't understand how he could love him when he was so nasty towards him and all they did was fight half the time. But he knew for a fact that Yami was hardly the masochistic type. Because if he was, he wouldn't fight back and he would take it lying down and he wouldn't have attacked Ushio in the bathroom as he did before. And…his parents would have known far before now. Far before the pictures even got out. Before Yami said he loved him.
Hands lightly reached up and grasped at his shoulders, the pads of two warm thumbs rubbing gently at his overheated skin. He almost wanted to thank him for trying to make it easier for him, but his mouth felt funny even though he couldn't find the strength to form the words in his head.
"Um…"
Yami opened his eyes into slits and stared at the fuzzy headrest for a moment before trying to focus on the boy who currently had his face hidden in the groove of his neck, mumbling against his skin. His fingers sought out maps of flesh his mind knew but had never truly traveled before.
"What is it?"
"Err…what do I do now?"
For a moment both of them suspected that the words out of his mouth next would be a bite at his former experiences of topping, but thankfully it never came.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean what I said. What do I do now?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you're the one who actually…d-did it before."
"Do I detect atremor?" he teased.
"Fuck off."
Yami chuckled and rubbed soothing patterns on his shoulders again, humming once. "Yugi, I'm pretty sure I was shit-faced when I did that."
Yugi laughed against his skin. "Yeah, definitely."
"Then you shouldn't really be askingmeabout that."
"And you really shouldn't be letting me do this."
Yami didn't argue with this, because they both knew he really shouldn't be.
"Do what you think is right. It's not that hard. Just…do what you normally do."
"But you said there was a difference."
"And there is."
"Then why would I do what I normally do?"
"Yugi, you're thinking too hard. You know what to do. You're just scared right now."
Yugi barked out a laugh, because honestly, whenwasn'the scared? When wasn't he trying to force away some kind of fear in order to do something for himself to get attention or something? When didn't his spine tingle with something cold and gripping that left his mind stuttering?
"You know," he said, smirking smugly as he raised his head and looked at the slits of gleaming red that slowly widened and gazed back into his with the turn of his head, "I'm going to be braver than you because I'm not drunk off my ass in order to do it."
Yami laughed and nodded. "That you are. So then do it, Yugi. Prove that you're stronger than me."
He swallowed once and then narrowed his eyes. "Okay. You're on."
And Yugi knew from instinct that Yami recognized that he was only saying this because he needed a little more incentive than just some kind of…self-discovery.
His stomach jumped once before he managed to push the uneasy fear aside and lower his mouth to Yami's neck again, breathing once and then twice. He could do this. This was simple.
Yami had done it. Yugi could do it too.
Besides, he would do itbetterthan Yami because he would be sober.
Yep.
"Just relax."
Yugi huffed against his neck and then both of them laughed at the odd sensation of his breath warming their skin in the way it did; Yami's fingers began working at his skin again, rubbing gently, warmly, his movements soothing and kind in nature and eventually allowing his muscles to start unlocking from where they had seized up.
The fear lingered beneath his skin but a strange calm had settled over him slowly as he mapped a small path down to his collarbone and sucked gently at a spot just about his pressure point. Yami shifted beneath him, his grip on his shoulders tightening momentarily before softening again as he moved some to accommodate the twist of the taller teen beneath him.
His leg fell over Yami's inner thigh, his knee biting into his skin slightly, but it was okay for the most part, so the red-eyed boy didn't mention it and Yugi didn't really think much of it as he trailed his tongue down to Yami's nipples.
Where Yami had nuzzled his shirt up to his choker and kissed his skin, Yugi took one of them into his mouth experimentally, running his tongue over the surface of it, wrinkling his nose slightly at the taste of salt that Yami's skin possessed. Again the taller teen twisted beneath him, arching into his mouth, and Yugi wrinkled his nose further before licking at the second nipple and then nipping it gently, once again a little surprised by the salty taste.
"Um…Yugi?"
It was so quiet he barely heard it, and though he didn'twantto lift his mouth from his chest, the smaller boy raised his head slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Could you move your leg? You're kind of cutting off my circulation. I'm getting a serious cramp."
Yugi laughed and twisted, pulling his left leg away from where it was pressed in Yami's upper thigh. "Sorry."
"It's fine. Just keep going."
Yugi would have kept going even without instruction, rolling his eyes before cautiously trailing kisses down his chest to his stomach where he licked and blew on the skin, making Yami moan and let out a soft growl of a sound at the sensation. He smirked against his skin for a moment before kissing at his ribcage, unconsciously lingering on the two that the fall down the stairs had broken, his thumb working against the skin above the former fracture.
Yami let out a soft breath as if he too realized this and the fact made him nervous, but Yugi gave him the courtesy of not commenting as he had done for him before. But Yugi could literally feel Yami's blood pumping through his veins even as he pulled his lips away from his skin, because it had fluttered beneath his touch when he kissed that spot of skin. And oh how he was enjoying the way Yami was moaning and–he realized belatedly–whispering under his breath words that Yugi couldn't quite decipher.
When he got to his hips, he was a little confused as to what to do next, because honestly, that far had not truly occurred to him before this moment. But while his brain tried to overanalyze it, his body had other plans, kissing his left hip and his right, trailing them down to his erection before kissing down the insides of his thighs, completely bypassing it before gripping his hips.
Yami blinked and raised his head and Yugi was well aware of him watching but he didn't stop from staring at his erection for a moment before taking his hand away to press the tip of his finger inside of him.
When he looked up again, his eyes settled on Yami's mouth, leaning forward to brace himself on his left hand as his desires led him to press his mouth against the taller boy's, lips moving languorously together before he caught his bottom lip between his and sucked languidly, tugging at it slightly with his teeth.
He had never tried this before, but he was kissing him in a way he had seen once on TV before, his lips working leisurely but forcefully with Yami's; he opened his eyes briefly in order to watch his face as he kissed him, to ingrain the memory deep in his brain, only to be startled to find that the glassy blood-like gaze was already staring right back at him, gleaming and glinting beneath the partial hood of his eyelids. He was further surprised when Yami reached up and grabbed his hair tightly for a moment before relaxing his grip, their mouths still working against each other in that simple slow pace, nothing like the frantic way that they had been kissing previously. Because now, somehow, despite it all, it was ten times more fervent. And there was a feeling of deepneedin the kiss, concentrated and pouring out into each lingering movement of their mouths.
It was mind-blowing and still so terribly erotic.
Yugi wanted so much more.
So much more of this feeling.
So much more of their delicious friction…
He ground into him harder, pressing against him and watching as his eyes narrowed, feeling his mouth move to meet his quickened pace, their tongues–one tasting of dark chocolate and an icy mint so harsh that it sent streams of chill through his body, the other of warmth like melted vanilla ice cream and something akin to caramel–battling a simple battle of familiarity even as his fingers started to stretch him easily; Yugi wasn't even sure when the other two fingers had been added, because Yami hadn't resisted him even for a second, but either way, he was thrusting three dry fingers in and out of him at a rapid pace.
Yami moaned into his mouth, scrabbled at his shoulders, held him tightly for a moment, mewls and a somewhat deep guttural growl bursting forth from his chest to be swallowed greedily by the smaller teen.
His fingers were shaking when he fumbled with the condom around his erection, struggling for a moment to remember how to take it off even as the whole thing made his stomach twist with fear for a split second. He didn't pull away from Yami in either way, wanting to drown in the taste of a darkened winter night, almost jumping a mile when two new hands worked at the piece of protection he was wearing, a small ripping noise coming from it as nails pierced it and pulled it off, pre-cum leaking onto Yami's legs and making him moan again.
He only pulled back for air but couldn't bring himself to leave even an inch of space between them, breathing hard against his mouth and feeling a mirroring fan of hot air against his lips as well. Yami tensed up momentarily when he pressed against his entrance but he relaxed rather easily a few long seconds later when Yugi pressed further until he was sheathed inside the hot flesh of Yami's ass.
"See? I told you you would know what to do," Yami said quietly, breathlessly against his ear. His breath warmed the side of his neck and his palms caressed his stilled hips before slowly gliding them to his ribcage to squeeze gently once, finally settling on his shoulders again as he moved them across his chest to drape around his neck.
Slender appendages made warm trails across his back, made his spine tingle with fire and that spark of lightning that felt as cold as ice and burned through him like lava.
"You also weren't kidding when you said there would be a difference."
Yami hummed once in response and when Yugi looked up, he couldn't breathe properly. Those dark red eyes were smoldering, burning into him like blood pumping through his veins. They stared at each other, and though Yami's face was emotionless as their eyes bore into each other, eventually the blue-violet-eyed boy couldn't handle it anymore, couldn't handle the intensity the sharp gaze harbored. His eyes sought safety in the goldenrod of the other boy's bangs but he could feel, unwavering, the gaze burning just as intensely as it was before.
There was this small strange sensation of falling in the back of his head that made his movements falter when he started to pull out and push back in, eyes widening momentarily; when they locked with Yami's again in that brief second it took him to recover, the red eyes were endless and he almost wished he could disappear and drown in them.
His first thrust came out shaky, his body coiling in on itself like a leaf in the wind for a split second before he gathered enough strength to form a second that came out steadier but with a shaken edge.
Yami studied his eyes but didn't say anything and Yugi almost wished he would speak but knew he wouldn't and so instead concentrated on that faint falling motion in the back of his mind. It swallowed him whole when he acknowledged it and he froze in place for a long minute, not the least bit surprised when Yami didn't speak, but startled out of his mind when nails dug into his spine and he snapped back to the present.
A single eyebrow rose at him and again Yugi realized that Yami would catch him if he did fall. He wouldn't even think about it before he did it. Even if it meant they both died, he would catch him.
The thought was terrifying but it was also awarding in a sick way.
He moved his hips again and Yami went about loosening the bite of his nails to hold his shoulders in his palms, blinking only once.
But the thought of falling and being caught, while it should have been reassuring, repelled him all the more powerfully. Even as his hips moved, his mind didn't shut down and fear encompassed his thoughts before suddenly dying away.
Hands were rubbing at his muscles, finger pads smoothing out a path across his skin as they had done before.
Yami kept him grounded…
Yugi shook his mind away from that thought and instead buried his face in the taller teen's neck, breathing hard for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of salty sweat that smelled oddly enticing and all the more arousing. Yami's fingers continued rubbing, coaxing him gently, breathless mewls and hisses and growls and moans leaving his mouth and making his throat vibrate with the noise.
Yugi reveled in the sensation of the other teen's throat tickling his cheek and nose, purring softly at the noise as he snapped his hips and earned a low pleasurable growl from the other boy, the deep timbre making the coil in his stomach tighten that much more.
And, as selfish as it was, he was glad that Yami was wearing the condom when he came a few seconds before him, the tightening of his muscles around him making him hiss in satisfaction before following his lead. Because now there was less of a mess to clean up.
And neither of them was rendered sticky with an orgasm.
He pulled away a few minutes later when he caught his breath, sitting back and watching as Yami sat up slowly and then blinked a few times before humming softly once and grabbing his clothes off the ground next to the couch between the furniture, pulling them over to his lap.
Yugi watched him for a long time before he himself started to pick his clothes off the ground, a little surprised when Yami got up and took the used condom off, wandering off towards the bathroom before returning a few minutes later, boxers on.
"I forgot my pants," he muttered when he noticed Yugi's quizzical expression towards the strange behavior.
Yugi laughed once and then looked away quickly in order to avoid eye contact. Yami did nothing to comment or draw attention to this, instead focusing on putting his legs through his pants and pulling his Converse onto his socked feet, playing the same game of avoidance as the smaller boy was.
"Why doesn't this feel wrong?" Yugi whispered finally, almost incredulously, staring at the ground.
Yami spared him a sideways glance and then turned his attention to the coffee table. "Because it's not."
But wasn't it?
Wasn't it wrong that the fear was initially so easy to push away where it should have been overwhelming? Wasn't it wrong that he was admitting to something that he never thought was possible in the first place? Wasn't it wrong that he was pushing away his former beliefs for one red-eyed boy?
Because it had been easy with Yami's hands coaxing his muscles to relax. And it had been almost…comforting when he acknowledged the idea of possibly being in love with the other male, of accepting that Yami would catch him no matter the height he dropped from. And that was what he was doing, wasn't it? Pushing away the belief that his guise as the bad boy had pushed everyone away, that he waspreparedfor it when someone else walked out on him again…
But then, he had never been okay with the idea that the other boy would be out of his life. The moment he had mentioned evenconsideringa transfer of schools, he had freaked out. He had argued and fought with him.
Because he had panicked.
Because the thought of Yami being absent…made him panic.
And he hadn't understood it then.
But it definitely made sense to him now.
He had gotten attached just as fiercely as Yami had.
Because Yami could handle him at his worst, when he fought with him and snapped and threw himself at opportunities that should not exist, when he jumped on tables and screamed in the cafeteria, when he threatened him, when he kept him hostage in his house, when he just wanted to fight or fuck.
Because Yami balanced him out.
Where Yugi's jagged cuts ended, Yami's began and the space between was where they bled into each other.
They fit like puzzle pieces.
And that was terrifying but so right all at once.
"So…what are we going to do?" the smaller boy inquired softly.
"What do you mean?" Yami asked as he pulled his jacket on again and lazily buckled his belt as he stood up again before taking a seat on the couch again, still avoiding his eyes as he was doing to him.
"What are we now? Are we together?"
"No."
"Then what are we?"
"We're nothing."
"What does that mean?"
"That we don't have a title. That we aren't dating. That we're simply fucking."
Yugi flinched and stared with a despaired expression. "But…I thought you would be…"
"Overjoyed that you think you might love me back?" Yami said a little spitefully before sighing softly and shaking his head, closing his eyes and leaning forward with his elbows against his knees and his chin in his palms, tilting his head to the side. "I…Yugi, I've learned something recently about you."
Yugi blinked at him and rolled his neck slightly before tilting his head slightly to the side, curiosity making his eyes widen.
"And that is that you like to lie that little black thing in your chest you call your heart out in order to make yourself feel safe. You prepare for the worst because that's what you expect. So, this, right now…if you were put a title on us, you wouldn't be able to survive. Right now you have the notion that this is all one-sided in your head. But were we to make ourselves official, I think you would break. Especially with the pressure of school. You would no longer be able to lie at school about us not being together and it's better that you can lie than let them have even more ammo against us."
Note: Story will be updated every Wednesday
Warning: TONS of cursing throughout story
Lemon Warning: If you want to skip the lemon, don't read past the statement "I want background noise" and continue to "So...what are we going to do now?".If you don't think you're going to remember that, use F and Ctrl and type both phrases in, then delete the first phrase when you come up to it and use the Find function to get to the second phase where the lemon is finished and continue to end of chapter.
Lemon Note: This lemon is SERIOUSLY major for the story. Just saying...
Note: The mentions of suicide are just that. Mentions. It didn't happen, but is rather just overreactions on the behalf of Yami's cousins. The mentions of underage drinking is just some insinuations on Yugi's behalf. There is ALSO a brief mentioning of religion that I put in there just to show the difference between Yami's mind set and others'. I personally don't have anything against religion at all but for the purpose of the story, Yami has a moment of thinking about and dismissing it as rubbish. No offense was meant.
Chapter XVI: What Are We?
Yami spent the night on the couch after her visit. And it was odd because he had never liked the living room before but now it felt oddly liberating to be there, stretched out across the cushions, watching comedies that were not funny in any way, shape or form. The gay comedy he watched a few minutes before the animated animal film he was currently taking in, was not funny by any means.
Was comedy code for fucking pathetic?
He snorted and tipped his head back, glancing at the ceiling fan thoughtfully.
He kind of wanted it on but at the same time he didn't want to pull the cord.
Laziness made him resist the urge. Laziness made him hum softly in a bored tone.
And it sure as fuck kept him away from the cord dangling over the coffee table.
Too much energy to jump on it and then have to lean up on his tiptoes.
Too much fucking energy.
Ugh, he never seemed to have enough of that anymore.
The pizza he had ordered was already devoured but he hadn't bothered to throw the box away.
Too much work to move his legs and take it into the kitchen, to put it in the trashcan. Too much fucking work.
And he felt kind of sick to his stomach now too. Because he should be mourning the loss of the two people who had been constants in his life for thirteen years. But he was so tired of them, so damn tired of feeling sorry for himself.
And yet that was what he was doing right that moment.
Feeling sorry for himself.
He was staying up until three in the morning watching comedies that were not funny.
He was eating pizza he had tobribethe company with a two-hundred-dollar tip to even get because they were just about to close and they didn't normally take orders at the time he called, just fifteen minutes before closing; all of them had gotten mad and he had been forced to listen to them argue with him until money proved fundamental enough a cause for them to overlook his little blunder time-wise.
He was laying on a couch with no motivation whatsoever to do anything but stare blankly at the TV which held no amusement for him in any way.
He was staring at a ceiling fan that would never work until he pulled on the damn cord.
He was doing all of these things and nothing more. He was the literal manifestation of the sin "sloth"–and who the fuck even named it that? When the teacher first mentioned sins in class freshman year, he had thought he had misspelled it or something, because surely ananimalcouldn't be a sin, but no, every text book had the same spelling as the one on the board.
And then he had gone on a two-week thought process about how an animal could be a sinner when all they did they were forced to do by circumstance in order to survive. No, humans could sin, because that was their nature. They sinned and then they pretended that some higher power would save them from it all, erase all of it from memory and bring them to salvation.
Yami yawned. Even the thoughts in his head were coming out slow and boring, complete repeats.
He got up finally, when a commercial break came up telling him to stay tuned for an acne medication he sure as fuck didn't need, and headed into the kitchen. And there, sitting on the counter, was a bottle.
And the bottle made his heart pound blood through his system faster.
And that blood warmed his skin and left him smirking with a twist of his lips that put the Cheshire cat to shame.
Oh yes, this was going to be fun.
Yugi kind of froze when he stepped into the room. There was a strange odor in the air that smelled vaguely like…creamer? He shook his head and then wandered closer before stopping and glaring.
Yami was passed out on the couch, half draped over it with his face half in the cushion and half falling off, right hand laying on the table right beside a rather fancy looking wine bottle.
Oh, no, it waschampagne–a veryexpensive-as-fuckchampagne.
Yugi shook his head and sighed before pinching Yami's side.
The taller male recoiled like he had struck him, backing up into the furthest spot he could reach in his awkward sleep-induced haze, eyes wide as he looked him over before letting out a huff of breath and curling up again.
"Yami–"
"Go away, Yugi. I'm tired."
"Yeah, that kind of happens when you fucking drink all night." Yugi glared at the champagne bottle. "Who the fuck does this anyways? This shit is forcelebrationsnot fucking…depressing shit-fests of–is that supposed to be a joke? Because I don't find it funny at all. That's supposed to be common sense."
Yami turned his head away and bunched his body up so that his elbows and knees were drawn up under his stomach, curled into a ball with his face turned away into the backrest, obviously trying to get his ears away from Yugi's voice.
He leaned forward and lowered his mouth near his ear, saying, "What the actualfuckYami?"
The taller boy reached up and touched his chin before moving his fingers up the side of his face, drawing burning hot lines that made Yugi want to moan, trailing down the center of his nose before his forefinger and thumb plugged his nostrils together. "Ssh."
Yugi burst out laughing and pulled his hand away by the wrist. "That's not how you make someone shut up. You keep their mouths shut."
"I don't have any duct tape right now."
The smaller boy smiled and poked him in the side, earning him a startled jump and wide eyes before the red gaze narrowed into a glare.
"Go away."
"No. You have a problem. Well, shit, that has to be the most obvious thing in the world–drinkingchampagneto get drunk."
"Huh?" Yami muttered, blinking wide eyes.
"Did you run out of thegoodstuff or something, Yami? I mean, honestly, you don't just fucking grab the first bottle you set your sights on. You get the stuff that youknowwill get you good and hammered. It's that simple. I don't know why you haven't learned this stuff by now. It's theheavystuff that will get you somewhere."
Yami blinked again and then started to sit up. "I'm not drunk."
"Well, obviously not now. You slept it off, idiot. But that probably isn't much of a hangover is it?" he murmured, taking a seat on the coffee table and crossing his legs, kicking his right thoughtfully. "I mean, it can't be much of one, right? It was champagne after all and you drink fancy wines and I'm pretty sure champagne falls in that category so…unless of course you mixed it. Did you mix it?"
Yami opened his mouth.
"Then again, if you mixed it, I would like to see the recipe you cooked up. You were passed out like you had a wild night and someone just dumped you there." He paused and then gave him a grin that put the Cheshire cat to shame. "Is that what happened? Did you get too plastered to even give directions to my house? So they found your house by your ID or whatever and dumped you here? That would be one hell of a story to tell others."
Yami opened his mouth again.
"You know, for an intervention, this is a pretty fucked up turnabout. I mean, shit, Yami, you couldn't get others to come besides your fuck buddy who you haven't fucked for two weeks now?" Yugi complained, looking at the champagne bottle and curling his lip. "I should get you tested for STDs. Cause if you were so hammered that they just dropped you here, whoknowswho you fucked in the meantime?"
The taller boy blinked and opened his mouth again.
"You know, if you caught something, I'm not fucking you anymore. I mean, shit, my penis is aprize. I can't just have you hopping on it and infecting the shit. No, the merchandise must becontained." He hummed and looked up at the ceiling before focusing on him again. "And, oh, by the way, even if it's some of that crap that actuallycango away with medication, your dick and me? No relationship. I refuse."
The taller boy shook his head and opened his mouth again.
"Anyways, so, I was thinking that we would talk about our fucking arrangements but this shit…wow, Yami, you have outdone yourself. I mean…shit, it almost looks like you understand what I'm saying and everything."
"I do understand what you're–"
"You know, actually, an intervention between two people might not be such a bad idea. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, that kind of thing…but the rest of them always have everyone else around so that if a fightdoesbreak out their wimp asses can gang up on you and separate you before things get bad…" Yugi held up his fists and narrowed his eyes. "Come on, Yami, put them up. I'll kick you ass."
Yami gave him a horribly confused look, glanced at the champagne bottle, looked back and then grabbed it and shoved it into his face. "Smell."
Yugi shoved it away. "What the fuck? I don't want to smell it. What did you–?Pleasetell me you weren't on something else and like…fucked a bottle or something…" He looked the opening over. "No, that would be too small for your dick to get in…not too small an opening for you to masturbate into, though…"
At the horrified expression on his face, Yugi laughed but then the bottle was shoved at him again. "Yugi, just fucking smell it."
"No. What the fuck did you do to it? I'm not putting my nose anywherenearwhere you've masturbated. I'll take it up the ass but seriously? This is kinky shit I won't get into."
Yami rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake, Yugi"–the smaller teen opened his mouth to say something further but the taller teen shot forward suddenly and grabbed him, shoving the bottle under his nose and making him sniff.
"Oh…is that coffee?" he muttered, pushing it away and wrinkling his nose.
"It is," Yami agreed, pulling the bottle into his lap and starting to tear at the sticker on it. "I dumped out the champagne–it was one of the ones my father bought as a peace offering in order to make me drop the lawsuit against him. I was looking at it last night and I just got really fucking mad so I poured it down the drain and I couldn't sleep and I liked the bottle so I started messing around and then I remembered that caffeine has the opposite effect on me so then it became apparent that while I wanted something to drink out of the bottle, coffee would suit me better because it puts me to sleep. But yeah, I really like the glass. I mean, look at the bottle. I like its shape…"
"Oh…well what the fuck?"
"I don't know. I got bored. I have to have something to keep me occupied before I can fall asleep."
"No, I mean–coffee puts you tosleep?" he muttered, eyes wide.
"Yes."
"So then…what the fuck do you use for hangovers?"
Yami blushed and ducked his head. "Warm milk and honey."
Yugi balked and then burst out laughing. "No shit. Are you being serious?"
Yami nodded, blushing harder. "I do, it's the only thing that gets rid of my headaches. It's been a remedy since I was younger."
"Headaches? I'm talking about…wait, what do you mean headaches?"
Yami fiddled with the top of the bottle, tapping his fingers against the glass and looking down at the sloshing black liquid at the bottom. "I guess my father got a little…smother-happy one night because I started having seizures at some point when I was six. And afterwards, things just got worse. I started getting chronic migraines for weeks on end. They're rather crippling, in all honesty. I can't move to save my life. My father always found them weak, but whatever."
"Why do you keep calling him that?"
"Calling him what?"
"Father? Instead of dad or something…"
"I…used to get punished if I didn't call him father. Anything less and he'd whip me until I was bleeding," he murmured, shrugging. "I can't just lose the habit out of nowhere. Plus, I have to keep going with it just in case…"
"In case what?"
Yami shrugged again. "I don't know. But what I do know is that I am not going to call him regular old 'dad' anytime soon." He paused. "So what are you doing here? And how did you even get in here?"
"I ran into Bakura as he was leaving. He left the key under the tree roots over there and I grabbed it and came inside. I was wondering what the fuck he was doing if you were passed out like this."
He opened his mouth and then closed it again and then muttered, "I'm on suicide watch."
"What?" Yugi demanded a little sharply, eyes wide.
He shrugged halfheartedly and put the bottle back on the table next to him, watching as Yugi unconsciously moved it a little father away. "I have been for a while now."
"Seriously? I didn't think I fucked you over that badly…"
Yugi sounded fuckingawedand Yami resisted the urge to punch him.
"No, you didn't. It's been like this for far longer. Since…since before I told you that I…" He didn't complete that statement but realization dawned in those bright blue-violet eyes. "That's why Bakura and Malik started making sure I sat with them every day at lunch or why Bakura called when we were about to fuck. It…um…they're all doing it. Seto even has Mokuba calling when he can't call me himself. Mokuba doesn't know why he has to but Seto says it's important so he does it."
"But if he saw you passed out–"
"He probably did the same as you and assumed I was drunk and sleeping it off. All he would need to do is check my pulse or watch my breathing for a few minutes. They might be crazy but they aren't stupid. They know how to take care of someone who's plastered. Fuck, I think maybe even Mokuba knows that."
Yugi didn't comment that it was crazy for an eight-year-old to know that but Yami could see it in his eyes and ignored it completely.
"Either way, the point is, the reason he was here was probably because of that. It's not at all surprising," he murmured, grabbing the remote next to Yugi's hip and hand, his wrist accidentally brushing the soft skin and making Yugi's mouth open slightly before his tongue poked out to wet his petal soft lips. Yami ignored this display pointedly.
"Bakura was on the phone when he was leaving…He said it wasn't surprising you were taking it so bad. What did that mean exactly? Was he talking about us or…?"
"They don't even know aboutus," Yami spat, "because there is nous. There is Yami and there is Yugi. There is no YamiandYugi. There is nothing between us to merit them being concerned. As far as they know, I fucked you two weeks ago and I haven't gotten horny enough to invite you over again."
Yugi blinked wide eyes.
"No, what hemeantis that my mother came over yesterday," he snapped, grabbing the bottle and then heading into the kitchen, dumping the dark brown-black liquid down the sink with a frown as he noticed the empty carton of creamer on the counter next to a massive bag of white sugar.
He never really was one for black coffee but he could have at leasttriedto put them back before he passed out. He wouldn't be surprised to find bugs in there considering the luck he'd been having recently. Yami peered inside, shaking the bag slightly so that the grains shifted some to allow him to see that there was nothing too out of place inside.
He snorted, dumping the empty carton in the trash and simply rolling the top of the sugar's bag to close it, not bothering with further inspection; he would do that some other time, preferably when his mind was actually working at one hundred percent and Yugiwasn'taround.
"Oh really?" He sat up a little straighter, eyes wide and searching as they sought his out upon his return to the living room. "What did she have to say?"
"What else could she possibly want, Yugi? She came to disown me permanently."
"What?" Yugi recoiled, eyes wide. "N-no way. You can't be serious…"
"I am dead serious," he responded with a small shrug. "Father was here and I suppose she came with him. He must have given her the address because she showed up here and spoke to me."
"…What did she say exactly? I mean–a-are you okay or–?"
"I am fine."
And he was.
He was fine.
Not because hehadto be, but because hewas.
And he had no explanation for it, but sometimes that was how life worked.
Maybe he had just outgrown them. Maybe his love had turned into bitter resentment at some point. Maybe he just…didn't care for their company anymore. Maybe he just no longer wished for the life they tried to present him with. Or maybe…he was just fine because he justwas.
Maybe it was that simple.
Or maybe it was so much more complex than he could ever imagine.
The point was, he was fine.
"Really?"
Yami nodded once and then climbed over the back of the couch, twisted his body and fell, rolling through the air for a split second before landing on his back and looking at him from the soft cushions.
"You don't…want to talk about it or something?"
He couldn't help the scoff. "Why would I want to talk about it with you? You said it yourself. This is only meant to be fun. I should never have said it. I should not have grown attached. And you were right. So please, don't pretend like you give a fuck now, Yugi. Keep those fucking ice walls around you and don't pretend to defrost on my account."Yugi was silent for a moment and then he looked away. "Yami, I…um…I think…I'm confused."
Yami did not mention that this whole thing of keeping the walls up included telling him about his problems, included him trying to bring him back in like a fish on a hook.
"I think I might…I think I might love you too. But I don't really know." He licked his lips. "I don't know how to describe it. And I don't know if it's just lust or not. I…I think about you a lot, but that could just be because…"
Yami nodded once even though his statement went unfinished.
"I think you were right when you said you didn't think I knew what love was either. Maybe I don't…but how can I if I don't know what itfeelslike?" Yugi bit his lip hard and then looked deep into his eyes, searching for something, dying to uncover something that Yami couldn't give him, wouldn't give him, because he didn't know what it was or how to offer it to him. "I want to see…if it's just lust. Because if it is…then it solves everything right?"
Yami blinked once. "You wish to sleep with me? To see if it feels the same as all the other times?"
Yugi nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Yami did not mention how cruel a joke this seemed to be. He did not tell him that he should not have said he thought he loved him just so that he could fuck him. Instead he stared silently, because if he opened his mouth, he thought he might end up trying to talk sense into him and at the moment, he didn't want that.
He wanted to pretend. He wanted to pretend that even for the next few moments, no matter how false, no matter how small and untrue, Yugi did love him back.
Because the words…they sounded almost real.
They sounded like he could twist them in his head andmakethem real.
So he didn't say anything.
Because sometimes pretending was better than reality.
Because hehatedhis reality.
"You don't…have to…"
Yami did a good job of not mentioning that the thought of fucking someone that Duke Devlin had fucked made his stomach churn. And he did a good job of not letting the images that sprang into his mind of the two cloud his judgment. And he did a good job of not letting his emotions rush through him as he stared back at him silently, contemplatively, not bothering to truly speak as he looked him over.
Just as Yugi did a good job of avoiding the subject altogether.
"Please?"
Yami stared for a long time and then slowly glanced at the TV and back. "Can I at least put that back on?" he muttered, watching the black screen for a moment before turning back. "I want background nose."
He neglected to addIt makes me feel less lonelyout loud.
Yugi gave him an odd look, twisted around to look at the screen, and then slowly turned his attention back to him, raising an eyebrow. "I guess…"
He didn't give him enough time to question it, instead pressing the power button and then murmuring, "Go upstairs and grab a couple of condoms from the box upstairs. They're in the drawer of the nightstand on the right with the lamp. Top drawer. I think there might be lube or lotion or something in there. I don't know. Bakura decided to get it for me because he didn't want me 'hurting myself' trying to jack off while I still had the brace on."
Yugi burst out laughing at him and Yami flipped him off, but the smaller teen took off upstairs and the time that it would take for him to get the things would give him enough time to think straight.
This was going to help no one.
But that didn't really matter to him, not at the moment anyways. No, what really mattered was the small idea that was forming in the back of his mind now. It made his skin prickle and his stomach twist and his tongue dry and his heart hurt.
He turned his head and listened for Yugi's footsteps but the smaller teen was not coming just yet; that was just as well, because if Yami was right–and he was going to test this out if it was the last thing he did–he felt he needed the time to prepare for that possibility.
He took a deep breath, tilted his head to the side, told himself that it would be fine, shook his head when he started to picture Duke and Yugi fucking, and then forced every single bone in his body to relax for a moment.
And it worked.
When Yugi got back down there, Yami was ready.
The smaller boy handed him the condoms and bottle, frowning a little as he muttered, "What are you going to…? I get the condoms, I mean, that will keep the couch clean, but what about the lube? What is that for?"
"I want to try it out. I want to see if it feels any different than dry does."
That was such a stupid explanation. He would have more of a chance convincing Bugs Bunny to get in the fucking pot and stay there than he had making Yugi believe that, because the look he gave him said he was dubious of this reason,extremely, but he didn't argue and that was the first thing that made alarms go off in the taller boy's head.
"Sure, I guess," he muttered, shrugging. "Whatever."
Yami didn't realize how much this was going to hurt in the long run. He had just thought that maybe…if he was just wrong…
But so far, it wasn't looking like he was.
"Go ahead and get your clothes off. I'm going to see how the fuck you use this. Bakura said something about it heating up when you blow on it or something?"
Yugi didn't mention how ridiculous that was considering it was going up his ass and he couldn't exactly see Yami leaning down with his face between his legs and blowing on his ass to see if it worked. Even Yami wasn't that crazy.
He rolled his eyes, a little miffed by the fact that Yami was not kissing him, but when he saw the way the other boy was studying the bottle, reading it and looking it over, honestly staring at it, he decided that it was another whatever thing and instead started stripping as Yami had instructed.
And then he felt weird because all these times they had made out and gotten the clothes off each other outside of their last time but this was different. Yami wasn't stressed out. He was relaxed and reading a stupid bottle. He wasn't screaming at his cousin to call him back some other time because he was about to fuck him.
No, none of that was going on.
So why the fuck did he have to take his own clothes off? He was starting to feel like some kind of whore Yami had paid money to fuck…
Regardless, he dropped his boxers and jeans on the floor and watched as Yami started to strip of his own clothing before very slowly spilling some of the lubricant onto his fingers and looking it over; he thought that maybe the taller boy might have even sniffed it at one point, but then he realized that the scent of it was strong, like licorice.
Yami groaned and shook his head. "Fucking Bakura."
"What the fuck?" Yugi muttered. "He bought you licorice-scentedlubricant?"
"Technically, it's for masturbation, so I guess he was just trying to get me a nicely scented thing–like lotion, but I hate licorice. He fucking did this on purpose," Yami hissed. "He knew I wasn't going to ever use it for that."
Yugi snorted. No, instead he was going to use it on him…
Yugi was a little disappointed and definitely squirming when Yami pressed a lubed finger inside of him, looking a little unhappy himself but not bothering to speak his mind about it; all throughout the time that he inserted his fingers, pumped and stretched him out, he had that same look on his face and Yugi didn't understand it and it kind of pissed him off but at the same time he felt odd at the strange sense of rejection the back of his mind brought forth.
Lubricant and condoms…
They'd never used them before.
Using them now instead of going dry…felt a little like an insult. Like Yami was saying something without actual words.
But that thought was killed before it truly formed because Yami rolled him under him, pressing against him fully with a somewhat blank look to his eyes as he held the majority of his weight off the other boy. Yugi wasn't even sure when Yami had gone about rolling a condom on with the lubricant, but it was there. He felt it when the sickening cool substance entered him and he couldn't feel Yami completely.
It was cold, so much colder than Yami ever could have hoped to be, and it felt weird, slippery, odd, a little disgusting in all honesty. He liked dry much better, where he could actually feel Yami moving in and other of him without a single barrier…
And now he was being the bitch.
First he called Yami a bitch when they fucked the first time when Yami was sober and now he was being a fucking bitch because they weren't fucking dry.
Yami closed his eyes and buried his face into his neck, began a slow thrusting rhythm that sped up gradually but didn't really hold anything in it. The boy inside of him seemed lost in his own head so it was really like being fucked by some kind of puppet or a robot…or something lifeless like that.
And then, suddenly, he just stopped and Yugi froze, worried about him, but startled when he pulled his head back and looked at him curiously for a moment, propping his elbow next to Yugi's shoulders, red eyes burning as they stared into his.
"Just kidding," he announced, smirking and winking, but there was something in his eyes that said he was disappointed; most likely, Yugi realized slowly, that he had not attempted to snap him out of this imaginary stupor. "So, anyways, if you want to see if you…feel the same, how do you want this?"
Yugi blinked. "What do you mean?" he asked in pure confusion.
"I mean, do you want me to…um…make love to you"–Yugi felt his eyes stretch wide and his mouth open and close the tiniest bit as he blinked a few times–"or are we just fucking again?"
"Uh…what…what's the difference…? It's all just…sex right? I mean…" He offered a small strained half-assed smile that looked more like a grimace. He honestly never had understood why they called sex so many things–shacking up, fucking, having sex, sleeping together, fooling around, hooking up…making love. It never made sense to him.
Yami blinked and then turned his face towards the TV for a moment, seeming to actually watch, and then slowly turned back just as Yugi was about to snap that he was beneath him, not on the TV screen. "There's a difference. Fucking is…what we've been doing. And…making love is what I did that night…" He looked away and leaned a little to look at the floor beside the couch, suddenly reaching down and pulling a penny off the ground, smirking at the shiny copper coin before putting it on the table. "Anyways, the night I was drunk as all fuck and told you I loved you."
Yugi blinked a few times. Making love…that was practically what Yami was doing when he…seemed to be worshipping him? A cold chill of fear wrapped itself around him and centered in his chest for a long minute and he couldn't fight this one off like he had all the rest before; the three seconds of letting it control him wouldn't work.
He was staring up at a pair of red eyes that watched without a single hesitation, unblinking and searching for whatever it was that Yugi wanted from him but finding no answer because he didn't have one for him.
"Let's put it this way. Would you like to be pounded into the couch or would you like to go slow?" Yami stated after a few minutes of Yugi staring at him with that wide-eyed, fearful look.
"I…I…um…t-the s-second one?" he managed to stammer out, confused and feeling sick to his stomach for a moment.
He honestly had no idea if he could handle Yami as he had been that night.
Ha, but then again, the boy was already inside him so odds of him pulling out to kiss him all over like he had then were slim to none.
But the thought of that died away just as fast as he had initially been able to conjure it up when Yami pulled away and out of him abruptly, rolling them over so that Yugi straddled him.
"Um…what are we doing?"
"You're going to top," the red-eyed boy announced.
"I…what?"
Yami nodded easily and hummed once. "You can take the condom off if you want. I mean…you are still clean, right?"
"I–y-yeah."
"Then go ahead."
Yugi bit his lip and stared for a long time. He actually semi-expected Yami to lose his patience, but again, the red-eyed boy proved to have rather endless patience for him, watching him curiously for a minute before craning his neck and closing his eyes, the act merely giving him some privacy that he had not consciously known he desired but also giving him a place to start.
His lip was trembling and his muscles were twitching beneath his jaw, fingers shaking slightly as he licked the dry flesh and slowly lowered his mouth to the golden-bronze skin of his arched neck. And he knew Yami could feel that persistent tremble of his lip but he didn't comment and the fact that he let it go without an issue was amazing by all means as far as he was concerned.
And god, if he didn't need that little bit of reassurance Yami wouldn't make fun of his current fear. Not that he wouldn't understand if Yamididtease him about it. It wasn't common that you had the self-proclaimed "slut" kissing your neck with such fear that it made their lips tremble against your skin.
But he was so lost. What else was he supposed to do?
Of course he had topped before, not as many times as Yami had, but he still had and it was annoying how scary the concept of actually acknowledging if hecouldlove the red-eyed teen truly was.
His chest twisted with the irony of it all.
How scared had Yami had to have been to have to get drunkjustto tell him he loved him? And how scared had he been to have had to actually acknowledge the feelings himself? How hard must it have been for him to actually turn around and tell Yugi and then face his parents after?
In comparison it seemed miniscule, but Yugi had made himself into the bad boy for this very reason–so that no one would actuallyfall in lovewith him.
And yet, for whatever reason, Yami had done just that.
And he honestly couldn't understand how he could love him when he was so nasty towards him and all they did was fight half the time. But he knew for a fact that Yami was hardly the masochistic type. Because if he was, he wouldn't fight back and he would take it lying down and he wouldn't have attacked Ushio in the bathroom as he did before. And…his parents would have known far before now. Far before the pictures even got out. Before Yami said he loved him.
Hands lightly reached up and grasped at his shoulders, the pads of two warm thumbs rubbing gently at his overheated skin. He almost wanted to thank him for trying to make it easier for him, but his mouth felt funny even though he couldn't find the strength to form the words in his head.
"Um…"
Yami opened his eyes into slits and stared at the fuzzy headrest for a moment before trying to focus on the boy who currently had his face hidden in the groove of his neck, mumbling against his skin. His fingers sought out maps of flesh his mind knew but had never truly traveled before.
"What is it?"
"Err…what do I do now?"
For a moment both of them suspected that the words out of his mouth next would be a bite at his former experiences of topping, but thankfully it never came.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean what I said. What do I do now?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Because you're the one who actually…d-did it before."
"Do I detect atremor?" he teased.
"Fuck off."
Yami chuckled and rubbed soothing patterns on his shoulders again, humming once. "Yugi, I'm pretty sure I was shit-faced when I did that."
Yugi laughed against his skin. "Yeah, definitely."
"Then you shouldn't really be askingmeabout that."
"And you really shouldn't be letting me do this."
Yami didn't argue with this, because they both knew he really shouldn't be.
"Do what you think is right. It's not that hard. Just…do what you normally do."
"But you said there was a difference."
"And there is."
"Then why would I do what I normally do?"
"Yugi, you're thinking too hard. You know what to do. You're just scared right now."
Yugi barked out a laugh, because honestly, whenwasn'the scared? When wasn't he trying to force away some kind of fear in order to do something for himself to get attention or something? When didn't his spine tingle with something cold and gripping that left his mind stuttering?
"You know," he said, smirking smugly as he raised his head and looked at the slits of gleaming red that slowly widened and gazed back into his with the turn of his head, "I'm going to be braver than you because I'm not drunk off my ass in order to do it."
Yami laughed and nodded. "That you are. So then do it, Yugi. Prove that you're stronger than me."
He swallowed once and then narrowed his eyes. "Okay. You're on."
And Yugi knew from instinct that Yami recognized that he was only saying this because he needed a little more incentive than just some kind of…self-discovery.
His stomach jumped once before he managed to push the uneasy fear aside and lower his mouth to Yami's neck again, breathing once and then twice. He could do this. This was simple.
Yami had done it. Yugi could do it too.
Besides, he would do itbetterthan Yami because he would be sober.
Yep.
"Just relax."
Yugi huffed against his neck and then both of them laughed at the odd sensation of his breath warming their skin in the way it did; Yami's fingers began working at his skin again, rubbing gently, warmly, his movements soothing and kind in nature and eventually allowing his muscles to start unlocking from where they had seized up.
The fear lingered beneath his skin but a strange calm had settled over him slowly as he mapped a small path down to his collarbone and sucked gently at a spot just about his pressure point. Yami shifted beneath him, his grip on his shoulders tightening momentarily before softening again as he moved some to accommodate the twist of the taller teen beneath him.
His leg fell over Yami's inner thigh, his knee biting into his skin slightly, but it was okay for the most part, so the red-eyed boy didn't mention it and Yugi didn't really think much of it as he trailed his tongue down to Yami's nipples.
Where Yami had nuzzled his shirt up to his choker and kissed his skin, Yugi took one of them into his mouth experimentally, running his tongue over the surface of it, wrinkling his nose slightly at the taste of salt that Yami's skin possessed. Again the taller teen twisted beneath him, arching into his mouth, and Yugi wrinkled his nose further before licking at the second nipple and then nipping it gently, once again a little surprised by the salty taste.
"Um…Yugi?"
It was so quiet he barely heard it, and though he didn'twantto lift his mouth from his chest, the smaller boy raised his head slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Could you move your leg? You're kind of cutting off my circulation. I'm getting a serious cramp."
Yugi laughed and twisted, pulling his left leg away from where it was pressed in Yami's upper thigh. "Sorry."
"It's fine. Just keep going."
Yugi would have kept going even without instruction, rolling his eyes before cautiously trailing kisses down his chest to his stomach where he licked and blew on the skin, making Yami moan and let out a soft growl of a sound at the sensation. He smirked against his skin for a moment before kissing at his ribcage, unconsciously lingering on the two that the fall down the stairs had broken, his thumb working against the skin above the former fracture.
Yami let out a soft breath as if he too realized this and the fact made him nervous, but Yugi gave him the courtesy of not commenting as he had done for him before. But Yugi could literally feel Yami's blood pumping through his veins even as he pulled his lips away from his skin, because it had fluttered beneath his touch when he kissed that spot of skin. And oh how he was enjoying the way Yami was moaning and–he realized belatedly–whispering under his breath words that Yugi couldn't quite decipher.
When he got to his hips, he was a little confused as to what to do next, because honestly, that far had not truly occurred to him before this moment. But while his brain tried to overanalyze it, his body had other plans, kissing his left hip and his right, trailing them down to his erection before kissing down the insides of his thighs, completely bypassing it before gripping his hips.
Yami blinked and raised his head and Yugi was well aware of him watching but he didn't stop from staring at his erection for a moment before taking his hand away to press the tip of his finger inside of him.
When he looked up again, his eyes settled on Yami's mouth, leaning forward to brace himself on his left hand as his desires led him to press his mouth against the taller boy's, lips moving languorously together before he caught his bottom lip between his and sucked languidly, tugging at it slightly with his teeth.
He had never tried this before, but he was kissing him in a way he had seen once on TV before, his lips working leisurely but forcefully with Yami's; he opened his eyes briefly in order to watch his face as he kissed him, to ingrain the memory deep in his brain, only to be startled to find that the glassy blood-like gaze was already staring right back at him, gleaming and glinting beneath the partial hood of his eyelids. He was further surprised when Yami reached up and grabbed his hair tightly for a moment before relaxing his grip, their mouths still working against each other in that simple slow pace, nothing like the frantic way that they had been kissing previously. Because now, somehow, despite it all, it was ten times more fervent. And there was a feeling of deepneedin the kiss, concentrated and pouring out into each lingering movement of their mouths.
It was mind-blowing and still so terribly erotic.
Yugi wanted so much more.
So much more of this feeling.
So much more of their delicious friction…
He ground into him harder, pressing against him and watching as his eyes narrowed, feeling his mouth move to meet his quickened pace, their tongues–one tasting of dark chocolate and an icy mint so harsh that it sent streams of chill through his body, the other of warmth like melted vanilla ice cream and something akin to caramel–battling a simple battle of familiarity even as his fingers started to stretch him easily; Yugi wasn't even sure when the other two fingers had been added, because Yami hadn't resisted him even for a second, but either way, he was thrusting three dry fingers in and out of him at a rapid pace.
Yami moaned into his mouth, scrabbled at his shoulders, held him tightly for a moment, mewls and a somewhat deep guttural growl bursting forth from his chest to be swallowed greedily by the smaller teen.
His fingers were shaking when he fumbled with the condom around his erection, struggling for a moment to remember how to take it off even as the whole thing made his stomach twist with fear for a split second. He didn't pull away from Yami in either way, wanting to drown in the taste of a darkened winter night, almost jumping a mile when two new hands worked at the piece of protection he was wearing, a small ripping noise coming from it as nails pierced it and pulled it off, pre-cum leaking onto Yami's legs and making him moan again.
He only pulled back for air but couldn't bring himself to leave even an inch of space between them, breathing hard against his mouth and feeling a mirroring fan of hot air against his lips as well. Yami tensed up momentarily when he pressed against his entrance but he relaxed rather easily a few long seconds later when Yugi pressed further until he was sheathed inside the hot flesh of Yami's ass.
"See? I told you you would know what to do," Yami said quietly, breathlessly against his ear. His breath warmed the side of his neck and his palms caressed his stilled hips before slowly gliding them to his ribcage to squeeze gently once, finally settling on his shoulders again as he moved them across his chest to drape around his neck.
Slender appendages made warm trails across his back, made his spine tingle with fire and that spark of lightning that felt as cold as ice and burned through him like lava.
"You also weren't kidding when you said there would be a difference."
Yami hummed once in response and when Yugi looked up, he couldn't breathe properly. Those dark red eyes were smoldering, burning into him like blood pumping through his veins. They stared at each other, and though Yami's face was emotionless as their eyes bore into each other, eventually the blue-violet-eyed boy couldn't handle it anymore, couldn't handle the intensity the sharp gaze harbored. His eyes sought safety in the goldenrod of the other boy's bangs but he could feel, unwavering, the gaze burning just as intensely as it was before.
There was this small strange sensation of falling in the back of his head that made his movements falter when he started to pull out and push back in, eyes widening momentarily; when they locked with Yami's again in that brief second it took him to recover, the red eyes were endless and he almost wished he could disappear and drown in them.
His first thrust came out shaky, his body coiling in on itself like a leaf in the wind for a split second before he gathered enough strength to form a second that came out steadier but with a shaken edge.
Yami studied his eyes but didn't say anything and Yugi almost wished he would speak but knew he wouldn't and so instead concentrated on that faint falling motion in the back of his mind. It swallowed him whole when he acknowledged it and he froze in place for a long minute, not the least bit surprised when Yami didn't speak, but startled out of his mind when nails dug into his spine and he snapped back to the present.
A single eyebrow rose at him and again Yugi realized that Yami would catch him if he did fall. He wouldn't even think about it before he did it. Even if it meant they both died, he would catch him.
The thought was terrifying but it was also awarding in a sick way.
He moved his hips again and Yami went about loosening the bite of his nails to hold his shoulders in his palms, blinking only once.
But the thought of falling and being caught, while it should have been reassuring, repelled him all the more powerfully. Even as his hips moved, his mind didn't shut down and fear encompassed his thoughts before suddenly dying away.
Hands were rubbing at his muscles, finger pads smoothing out a path across his skin as they had done before.
Yami kept him grounded…
Yugi shook his mind away from that thought and instead buried his face in the taller teen's neck, breathing hard for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of salty sweat that smelled oddly enticing and all the more arousing. Yami's fingers continued rubbing, coaxing him gently, breathless mewls and hisses and growls and moans leaving his mouth and making his throat vibrate with the noise.
Yugi reveled in the sensation of the other teen's throat tickling his cheek and nose, purring softly at the noise as he snapped his hips and earned a low pleasurable growl from the other boy, the deep timbre making the coil in his stomach tighten that much more.
And, as selfish as it was, he was glad that Yami was wearing the condom when he came a few seconds before him, the tightening of his muscles around him making him hiss in satisfaction before following his lead. Because now there was less of a mess to clean up.
And neither of them was rendered sticky with an orgasm.
He pulled away a few minutes later when he caught his breath, sitting back and watching as Yami sat up slowly and then blinked a few times before humming softly once and grabbing his clothes off the ground next to the couch between the furniture, pulling them over to his lap.
Yugi watched him for a long time before he himself started to pick his clothes off the ground, a little surprised when Yami got up and took the used condom off, wandering off towards the bathroom before returning a few minutes later, boxers on.
"I forgot my pants," he muttered when he noticed Yugi's quizzical expression towards the strange behavior.
Yugi laughed once and then looked away quickly in order to avoid eye contact. Yami did nothing to comment or draw attention to this, instead focusing on putting his legs through his pants and pulling his Converse onto his socked feet, playing the same game of avoidance as the smaller boy was.
"Why doesn't this feel wrong?" Yugi whispered finally, almost incredulously, staring at the ground.
Yami spared him a sideways glance and then turned his attention to the coffee table. "Because it's not."
But wasn't it?
Wasn't it wrong that the fear was initially so easy to push away where it should have been overwhelming? Wasn't it wrong that he was admitting to something that he never thought was possible in the first place? Wasn't it wrong that he was pushing away his former beliefs for one red-eyed boy?
Because it had been easy with Yami's hands coaxing his muscles to relax. And it had been almost…comforting when he acknowledged the idea of possibly being in love with the other male, of accepting that Yami would catch him no matter the height he dropped from. And that was what he was doing, wasn't it? Pushing away the belief that his guise as the bad boy had pushed everyone away, that he waspreparedfor it when someone else walked out on him again…
But then, he had never been okay with the idea that the other boy would be out of his life. The moment he had mentioned evenconsideringa transfer of schools, he had freaked out. He had argued and fought with him.
Because he had panicked.
Because the thought of Yami being absent…made him panic.
And he hadn't understood it then.
But it definitely made sense to him now.
He had gotten attached just as fiercely as Yami had.
Because Yami could handle him at his worst, when he fought with him and snapped and threw himself at opportunities that should not exist, when he jumped on tables and screamed in the cafeteria, when he threatened him, when he kept him hostage in his house, when he just wanted to fight or fuck.
Because Yami balanced him out.
Where Yugi's jagged cuts ended, Yami's began and the space between was where they bled into each other.
They fit like puzzle pieces.
And that was terrifying but so right all at once.
"So…what are we going to do?" the smaller boy inquired softly.
"What do you mean?" Yami asked as he pulled his jacket on again and lazily buckled his belt as he stood up again before taking a seat on the couch again, still avoiding his eyes as he was doing to him.
"What are we now? Are we together?"
"No."
"Then what are we?"
"We're nothing."
"What does that mean?"
"That we don't have a title. That we aren't dating. That we're simply fucking."
Yugi flinched and stared with a despaired expression. "But…I thought you would be…"
"Overjoyed that you think you might love me back?" Yami said a little spitefully before sighing softly and shaking his head, closing his eyes and leaning forward with his elbows against his knees and his chin in his palms, tilting his head to the side. "I…Yugi, I've learned something recently about you."
Yugi blinked at him and rolled his neck slightly before tilting his head slightly to the side, curiosity making his eyes widen.
"And that is that you like to lie that little black thing in your chest you call your heart out in order to make yourself feel safe. You prepare for the worst because that's what you expect. So, this, right now…if you were put a title on us, you wouldn't be able to survive. Right now you have the notion that this is all one-sided in your head. But were we to make ourselves official, I think you would break. Especially with the pressure of school. You would no longer be able to lie at school about us not being together and it's better that you can lie than let them have even more ammo against us."