Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Something To Believe In ❯ Pages In A Diary ( Chapter 1 )

Yuri: Calling my lovely assistants!

Yugi: Present!

Yami: Right here!

Yuri: Fantastic! So hello to my beautiful readers! This is a new story! But this one's different from the others. Unlike my other stories, this story will be updated once every two weeks. One reason being that I have to complete my other stories first. And the other one being that these chapters are about twice in length when compared to my other stories plus I have to wait for my betas to edit them. But please enjoy! Yugi if you would...

Yugi: Yup! Yuri does not own Yu-Gi-Oh! If she did there would be a lot of yaoi. She also doesn't own the song 'Something To Believe In,' by Aqualung.

Yami: And if you watch CSI: Miami then you probably recognize that song from the last episode of season 5.

Yuri: Thank you to the awesome Death By Storm for editting this chapter! And now without further delay...

…Pages In A Diary…

The sky shone an innocent blue. A few cotton candy-shaped clouds were scattered across it, completing the perfect scenery of a summer afternoon. Below lay a gentle green expanse. There were no patches of dirt on the blessed ground; just pure, soft grass. The atmosphere was heavenly. A warm breeze brushed trailed its fingertips through the grass. The sun shone brilliantly through the tree branches, which were layered with dozens of different colored leaves and heated the ground. It was perfect.

The breeze swept in between tresses of black and red hair. It caressed a creamy colored, angelic face that was layered with light gold bangs. The owner of the cherubic face was resting peacefully on top of the beautiful grass. His small hands were hidden behind his head for support and his ankles were crossed comfortably. The only sound that could be heard in this paradise was the gentle sound of the resting youth's breathing. A sharp glow radiated off the center of his chest where a golden object shaped like a pyramid laid carefully.

Slowly one eyelid was opened to reveal a breathtaking color of majestic amethyst. Soon enough the other eye opened to meet the sky. The boy laid motionless for a second as he stared at the image before him. Finally, he let a sigh of relief escape his soft, rosy lips while still remaining in the same spot. Happiness, freedom, peace…those were some of the emotions that encircled around the mind and heart of the small youth.

The boy was oblivious to his surroundings and only kept his gaze looking up. He didn't see the sharp flash of royal crimson. He didn't feel the intense stare that focused on him. He didn't notice the dark figure hidden in one of the only shadowed spots in this dreamy realm. And no matter how many times he came to this refuge, he never did…

Suddenly the youth heard a voice call out for him. As a result, a split cracked violently down the middle of the once beautiful sky. It began to crumble as little shards of blue fell to the ground harshly around the amethyst-eyed boy. The grass below him turned an ugly gray as the ground began to shake.

`No,' the boy pleaded desperately. No, he didn't want to leave. Not yet. But he never had a choice in when he had to leave the place that he had come to known as his soul room. The voice in his ear began to get louder as the paradise around him that he had learned to love and cherish fell into pieces. The youth squeezed his eyes shut forcefully as he brought his knees to his chest and clamped his hands over his eyes to block out the sound around him.

“Yugi?” the voice said again, this time with a little bit more impatience. Dazed amethyst eyes shot open to see a woman, dressed in a formal gray suit with her legs crossed. She had a pad of white-lined paper sitting nicely in her lap with a black inked pen in her right hand and she was sitting in front of him in a leather chair. Yugi blinked his eyes a few more times so that he could adjust to his familiar surroundings. The quiet yet intimidating atmosphere hit him at full force. The image of the small and tidy office finally registered in his brain.

His gaze faltered slightly and, instead of looking into the curious bland gray eyes of the woman that was shielded by a pair of narrow glasses, he focused on the small black shoes that she was wearing.

“Yugi are you listening to me?” the woman asked. Her voiced pierced his ears. Yugi bit back the urge to glare and to cry. How dare she take him from his beloved world and then burden him with questions. But he couldn't really blame her. That was her job.

“Yes,” Yugi responded though his tone was uncooperative. The woman in front of him sighed.

“Listen Yugi. You've been one of my patients for two months now. Can you at least try to focus while I'm talking to you? It would get you out of here faster,” she reasoned.

Yugi weighed his choices. Either cooperate and get away from this hell or don't cooperate and make her job a living hell…hmm decisions, decisions. Yugi gazed back into those pale eyes. “I'm listening,” he said slowly.

The woman sighed in relief. “Good. Now that I have you're full and undivided attention, I need to ask you a few questions,” she said slowly. Yugi only nodded and the woman took this as a green light to continue.

“Okay, so when did you start feeling depressed?” she asked rather bluntly.

Yugi scowled as he said a little bit too insistently: “I'm not depressed.”

The woman sighed inwardly. So much for cooperating. “That's not what your grandfather thinks.”

Yugi scoffed. He knew that it looked out of his character on him since his features were so pure but life had taken its toll on Yugi's innocent nature, making him slightly cynical. “He just worries too much over my well being. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

The woman did not look convinced but let it go for now. “Okay, well if you don't want to share you're feelings then why don't you tell me about what you were thinking about earlier? You looked very distracted. Lifeless almost. Like your mind and heart weren't really here but your body was.”

Yugi wanted to throw back his head and laugh derisively. Did she know how insane she sounded? And he was the crazy one?

However, the boy controlled himself, “I was merely thinking about how badly I want to get out of this prison.”

“If that was all, then why did I have to call your name multiple times before getting your attention?” she asked suspiciously.

Yugi glared; another feature that looked foreign to his angelic face. “Did it ever occur to you that I might have been trying to ignore you and all of your useless questions?” he countered, slightly annoyed.

For about the hundredth time in the past five minutes, the woman sighed. After a couple of moments, she got to her feet and made her way back to her desk.

“I think that's enough for today, Yugi.”

Yugi didn't hesitate and in a moment was on his feet and headed towards the door. He flinched when she stopped him.

“Hold on a second,” she said and pulled out a black journal from a draw in her desk. She then made her way over to the small teen and offered him the black book. Yugi looked at it curiously and raised an eyebrow waiting for an explanation.

“I want you to write your thoughts down in this journal,” she said seriously. “It's a good way to vent.”

Yugi looked at the journal in disdain. “Like a diary?” he asked The distaste was evident in his voice. The woman that Yugi had come to loathe shook her head.

“Don't think about it like that. Just think about it as a way to express yourself. Talk about your feelings, your thoughts, your friends, or anything else that's on your mind. And no,” she added seeing Yugi's questioning gaze, “I'm not going to ask for it back. It's for you to keep.”

Now it was Yugi's turn to sigh. Why was this woman so damn difficult? Why couldn't she see that there was nothing wrong with him? Well, there was no use in arguing. He just wanted to leave. So without another word, Yugi grabbed the small journal and quickly made his exit.

…

Yugi stomped into his house angrily. He was in an extremely bad mood. He always was after his visits with her. He could hear the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen. “Yugi is that you?” a voice called out from the kitchen.

Yugi tried to contain the anger in his voice. No matter how smothered his grandfather made him feel sometimes, he knew that the man was just watching out for him. And sending him to that poor excuse of a therapist every Monday was just his twisted way of showing affection to his `depressed' grandson.

“Yes grandpa,” Yugi replied from the other side of the kitchen door.

“Katsuya called for you,” his grandfather said. Yugi nodded absentmindedly and made a mental note to call his best friend back sometime before he went to bed. The small teen then walked up the stairs to his bedroom and quickly shut the door behind him before he got bombarded with questions about how his session went.

The room was a decent size with a large bed in the center layered with purple sheets. A large, full length mirror stood leaning against the off white colored walls and the carpeted floor was scattered with Yugi's clothing.

The teenage youth slowly made his way to the edge of his bed and sat down before kicking of his shoes. He then glared at the black journal in his hand before tossing it on the ground. He didn't need that to vent…he had his own ways of expressing himself. Yugi slowly removed the wristbands that he was wearing to reveal multiple cuts layering his wrists. The cuts were deep and red with scarring. Others were faded and just left a small mark. Just looking at the mutilation on his wrists sent a wave of relief rushing through his body.

Yugi laid back onto his comfortable but lonely bed. He closed his eyes and jumped slightly when he saw an exotic red flash through his mind. His heart raced for a moment or two until he convinced himself that it was nothing.Yugi closed his eyes again and after what felt like eternity, he opened them back up to see a beautiful shade of blue. His blue sky. A smile graced Yugi's features and it looked perfect. Yugi had been told before that his face was meant to smile, but unfortunately, he hadn't been doing that a lot lately. Not even his friends had been able to bring a smile to his face as much as they used to.

Yugi breathed in the beautiful scent around him as he back laid against the soft, green grass. The golden object around his neck was glowing dimly. He didn't notice crimson eyes staring at him from the shadows.

…

“Yugi?” said a voice with a slight accent. Yugi's spacey look began to dissipate as life began to flow back into his eyes. As he slowly began to get dragged back into reality, a pair of amber eyes started to come into focus; followed by a mane of sandy blonde hair.

“Yugi were you listening to anything I just said?” the blonde said with an irritated frown.

“Yes Jounouchi-kun,” Yugi said too politely. The blonde, commonly known as Jou, only sighed.

“No, you weren't, because you always use formalities when you feel guilty that you weren't listening to me,” Jou said with a sigh. A pang of guilt hit Yugi's heart. He hated when he made his only friends upset. But it was so hard to focus on anything else when his beautiful refuge was only a thought away.

“You're right Jou,” Yugi admitted. “I'm sorry for not listening. Please tell me what you were saying.”

Jou didn't need any further encouragement as he dove right into an incessant speech of absolutely nothing in particular. Yugi listened intently even though he had heard everything before. He glanced above his tall friend's head to see two people approaching him. One was an Egyptian with slanted lavender eyes and straight blonde hair while the other was a pale teen with deep brown eyes and snow white hair. Despite it being early autumn, his pale companion was clothed in a long-sleeved sweater that hugged his skinny torso tightly.

“Aren't you hot in that, Ryou?” Yugi heard the Egyptian ask the paler boy. Ryou shook his head quickly in response and then flashed his friend a small smile.

“Hey you two!” Jou said acknowledging the other boys who had just arrived. The Egyptian known as Malik grinned as he said: “Jou, Yugi, how are your days going? Hopefully better than ours.”

Yugi raised an eyebrow. “Why, did something happen?” he asked with concern written over his perfectly round face.

Malik slightly shook his head. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Annoying teachers, multiple detentions, and teens doped up on hormones.”

Yugi managed to smile at Malik's casual remark and then his glance fell on the other boy. “Ryou,” Yugi said grabbing the brown-eyed boy's attention. “Are you okay?”

Ryou nodded. “Yes, Yugi-kun. I'm fine,” he said with a reassuring smile. Yugi's gaze faltered. Ryou was lying. Yugi could tell by the boy's voice and fake smile that something was wrong, but like all the other times, he didn't press the issue. Ryou had become increasingly distant in the last few weeks and Yugi decided that it was best if the boy was just given a little space. But he did miss that genuine smile that Ryou used to wear on his face all the time. It was enough to cheer up anybody. But Ryou no longer smiled like that anymore. All of his smiles seemed forced and that didn't cheer Yugi up in the least.

Ryou wandered off to the other side of the outdoor cafeteria and sat slowly underneath an overbearing tree with colorful leaves. Malik sighed when the light-skinned boy left the small group. “He's been acting so strange lately,” he said almost to himself. “And he won't talk about whatever's bothering him.”

Yugi looked back at Malik and said: “Maybe he just wants a little space.” God knows that that's what the amethyst-eyed youth wanted.

“I don't know but I wish he would just go back to normal,” Malik said before walking over to where his pale companion was. Yugi grimaced at Malik's choice of words. Normal? What's normal anymore?

“Hey Yug,” Jou said standing to his feet. “Let's go join them. Ryou looks like he could use some cheering up anyways.”

Yugi nodded before rising from his seat and alongside Jou, walked over to their two friends. Yugi looked down at the object in Ryou's hand when he heard the sharp intake of breath.

“Look at this,” Ryou said with slight awe and wonder. In his pale hands laid a light pink leaf that had fallen down from the tree. The leaf was tinted with a dark purple on its edges. It was absolutely beautiful.

Ryou examined the leaf in his hand closely and then suddenly a bright real smile graced his lips. “It's perfect! I can add it to my collection,” he said excitedly.

Yugi's heart felt relieved when he saw that all so rare smile. It was so funny, or sad, how the smallest discovery was enough to make Ryou happy. It was actually the only thing these days. For some reason, collecting things always made Ryou seem less sad. Suddenly the heavy atmosphere surrounding them lightened and the boys found themselves in a friendly conversation about Ryou's discovery and about their plans for the remainder of the day.

It wasn't much later that the end of school arrived and Yugi was slowly making his way out of the building with his eyes on the ground. Not an eventful day, but nevertheless it was another day that was over. Or at least almost. All he had to do was go home and grab something to eat before he could sleep…and dream. Dream about a place far better than this. His thoughts were cut short when he collided with a hard object. From his new position on the ground, Yugi gazed up into familiar and unwanted eyes. Fear rippled through every vein in his body as his eyes widened in terror.

“Well, well, well looky here boys. If it isn't little Yugi,” a taunting voice said. Behind the overbearing figure were three other boys who wore smug smirks along with sinister glares.

“U-Ushio,” Yugi choked out. He quickly got to his feet only to be knocked down again with a sharp blow to the side of his face.

“Get up,” Ushio ordered and watched in pure delight as the smaller being in front of him struggled to his feet. Yugi kept his gaze on the ground below him as he braced himself for the pain that was about to erupt through his body.

“What's wrong runt? Can't defend yourself?” Ushio said with a vicious grin. Yugi didn't respond. He didn't try to run either for he knew the consequences for trying to escape. Ushio began to get irritated at Yugi's unresponsiveness and soon enough, Yugi's knees collapsed has something struck his abdomen so harshly that he struggled for breath.

The other boys began to bark out in insane laughter at watching the short boy's face twist in pain and humiliation. Yugi kept his eyes shut in pain as he stayed in his kneeling position. He tried to block out the laughter but in vain. He felt something inside him shift uncomfortably; as if it was trying to escape his body. Suddenly the laughter ceased and Yugi dared to open one of his eyes to see a pair of legs standing in front of him. He looked up to see the Malik's backside and he sighed in relief.

“If you lay one more hand on him, I will personally dig your grave myself,” Malik threatened darkly. Ushio looked momentarily wary but then regained his composure.

“You must be going blind. There are four of us and one of you since that weakling behind you doesn't count. Even with your strength you can't possibly take us all,” Ushio beamed.

“Maybe not,” Malik said never losing his confidence. “But then that's why Jou is here,” he continued and the blonde seemed to appear out of nowhere. Ushio took a step back. Even thought it was four against two, Malik and Jou were notorious for their fighting so maybe it was best if they back off…for now.

“Fine,” Ushio said and then gazed at Yugi with a smirk. “But you better hope that I don't find him alone…” the over-sized bully said before he and his crew vanished around a nearby corner.

Jou instantly knelt down by his fallen friend. “Are you okay Yug?” he asked with worry. Yugi nodded as he stood to his feet. `Never better,' Yugi felt like saying sarcastically but thought better of it.

“Yes Jou. Thank you two for helping me,” the shorter youth said. Malik nodded in response.

“Of course. If that bastard keeps harassing you, just let Jou or I know and we'll take care of it,” Malik said peering at his small friend.

Yugi said that he would even though he knew that he wouldn't. The amethyst-eyed boy would never go asking for help. Never. It wasn't fair for him to share his burden with others so every time he had a problem, he would keep it to himself.

After a few more exchanges of words and Malik's insistent examination of Yugi's wounds, they each went their own ways. After his two friends were out of view, Yugi broke into a sprint as he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him. Slamming the front door shut and ignoring the greetings of his grandfather, Yugi walked quickly into his room and locked the door. With his back still pressed against his bedroom door, Yugi broke into quiet sobs as he slid down onto the carpeted floor.

Why? Why was he so weak? Why couldn't he take care of himself? Why did he need his friends to protect him? If he wasn't so weak then maybe his parents would be alive today. Then maybe he wouldn't be so lonely. If anything else ever happened to anyone of his friends due to his weakness then he didn't know what he would do. He would probably die. Probably slice his wrists so deep that his life would pour out and he could leave this horrible existence behind. Speaking of which…

Yugi removed the black bands from his arms and quickly fumbled in a drawer nearby until his fingers felt a small sharp object. Taking out the thing that relieved himself of his pain, Yugi placed the glass shard to the inside of his wrist as more tears escaped his eyes. With one quick movement, a dark cut appeared on his small, pale wrist. A moment later, blood burst through the thin line and bubbled over onto the carpet below him.

The blood contained his pain, his memories, his sorrow, his thoughts, his burdens…everything. And Yugi inhaled sharply as everything that weighed down on his heart and mind flowed out of his body. Relief washed over him and after a few more minutes, the flow of blood ceased. Damn blood clotting…

But it didn't matter. Yugi had already experienced the feelings of happiness and freedom that he longed for. He slowly stood on shaky legs and wandered over to his bed before collapsing on it Some of the blood stained his sheets. His eyes began to grow heavy and before he knew it, sleep had won him over; but not before Yugi a flash of striking crimson flickered through his thoughts.

…TBC…

Yuri: Now REVIEW cuz you wuv me! Anyways I hope you guys like this story. And don't worry! There's plenty more to come!