Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ S¤¤¤¤ and Giggles ❯ Issues ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Shits and Giggles

Chapter 1: Personal FamilyIssues

It's a bright summer's morning in the town known as Domino. We find ourselves at a game shop, the Kamè game shop to be exact. Let the fun begin! Bwahahaha!!

"Ack! Yami! Why didn't you wake me up!?! I'm supposed to meet the gang at the arcade at twelve!" Yugi Mutou, a young teenager with spiky, pink, black, and yellow, gravity deifying, hair bellowed.

"Why I'd love some tea and crumpets ol' chap…" muttered yet another teenager with multi-colored, spiky hair. "…mmm…might I ask where the lue (sp?) is? I need to take a wee tinkle…" The teen, Yami, continued to mutter like a British man at tea time as the other gave him an odd stare.

"…Yami…no more modern day sweets before bedtime for you…" the boy sweat dropped as his counterpart continued to speak with a British accent.

Turning his attention away from his dark, Yugi headed towards the bathroom. "Well…seeing as Yami's on a sugar high I'd better leave him here… He might send some poor innocent bystander to the shadow realm…"

The amethyst-eyed boy took a quick glace in the mirror and noticed a sock was hanging off one of his spikes as well as a shoelace on another of his spikes. "Wow! All I need now are some lights, a string of popcorn, and some ornaments then I'll be a real walking, talking Christmas tree! ", Yugi remarked sarcastically as he began picking the said junk out of his hair.

"Well then, I'd better hurry up and take a shower, I'm pretty sure the gang'll be here in a few minutes…"

We find young Yugi looking into the mirror once again, his hair down, much like a girls. And so, the story continues! "Great! It'll take forever to dry now!" complained the teen as he reached for the blow dryer. Turning the mechanism on, our little friend begins to dry his hair. Come on, what else do you do with a blow dryer other than maybe electrocute yourself with it? "Come on!!! I put this thing on the highest hottest possible setting! My hair should be dried by now!!" Someone's impatient…he's got it on so high it's practically a flamethrower…anyway…

¡¡¡¡Intermission!!! !

Okay! It's been about fifteen minutes; shall we see how Yugi's faring with his hair… if he has any left with that flamethrower of his…OR maybe we can go onto more entertainment?

"GRRAHRR!!"

Throughout the compact game shop dash house the loud and nerve rattling roar of a vicious beast was heard. Sugoroku Mutou was one to hear this disturbing cry.

"Now again…he does this every morning…" The old, gray-haired, bandana wearing man shook his head in disapproval and embarrassment. "Sometime I wonder about that boy…sometimes I really d~ OWCH!!" The old man winced and grew silent, for like ten seconds.

On the back of the poor guy's head, protruding out of his orange colored bandana, a big round bump shined, "That's enough out of you! Quit making fun of Yugi so often Dad!"

A mid-aged woman with short, not quite shoulder length reddish-magenta colored hair held a frying pan in her arms as she glared down at the old man, other wise known as her father.

"Ow…ow…ow…I'm sorry! …I didn't mean anything!" Sugoroku tried defending himself while his daughter continued to bash him with the frying pan, thankfully for him, it hadn't been prior used.

"You always say that dad, but I always find you making wise cracks about him!"

"Ow! Why'm I reminded of the old saying…'Hell hath no furry like a woman's wrath'…OUCH! Pease stop already!! My head can't take much more of this!!"

"You've got a thick skull! You'll live! Right now I'm trying to teach you a lesson!!"

Sadly…the old man's head wasn't as thick as she had thought, and thus Yugi's mother ended up killing him. Death by pan…such a pity… Okay, so that's a lie, he isn't dead…yet.

Anyway, returning to our young friend, how is his hair dilemma going thus far?

"GRRAHAARRR!! NOOOOO!! WHAT KIND OF CRUEL AND UNUSUAL JOKE IS THIS!?!" Yugi had succeeded in drying his hair, yes, but… as his hair would've usually returned to its abnormal, gravity defying spikes, this time however…it did not. Thus leaving the teens hair in a flat, downward position, causing him to appear more famine then he desired. "Yamiiiiii!!" cried the boy…who now looked like a girl.

"By jolly ol' chap! …I think he's taken my w-" As Yugi's doppelganger, Yami, was continuing to mutter British in his sleep, Yugi had pounced onto the bed; the recoil of which causing Yami to be catapulted into the air as if he were on a trampoline.

"…oops…" muttered Yugi as he noticed his dark about to crash to the ground. As this happened, the vertically challenged boy winced at the painful sound of flesh meeting floor.

…Does that make a sound? I wouldn't know…never tried catapulting someone off a bed…I should try that some time…Anyway, back to the story!

Racing to his partner's side, Yugi began shaking the limp figure, desperately trying to resuscitate the yami. "Yami! You can't leave me! You can't die on me!! …Wait…you're already dead… Wake up already!!" Poor Yami, at the moment he was being put through a ten point five earthquake…such a pity…

Suddenly, ruby red crimson eyes snapped open in a slur of emotions and feelings. Annoyance, pain, sleepiness, pain, anger, pain, surprise, pain…oh did I mention pain? "Ahh!! It's the end of the- why hello there Miss… I don't believe we've met before…who might you be?" …It seems Yami can't differentiate a famine version of his hikari from some random girl on the street…

Yugi's face contorted in confusion at his yami's words. "…Yami…what're…who're you talking to?..." YÅ«gi tilted his head to the side in confusion, surely Yami recognized him…

"You know my name? It must be destiny we meet!" …Obviously the yami received a rough bump to his head during his little fall. "I love you darling!" Yugi's yami said as he glomped him, thus causing Yugi to scream bloody murder.

"Yami!! Get off me!!"

"I love you, my kawaii tenshi!"

"Ack! Grandpa! Mom! Someone! Help me!"

"Your voice is so beautiful, darling. KISS ME!"

"Ra…please help me..."

Well…looks like they're having fun…but before we end this little thingy, lets check up on how Sugoroku's doin'!

"Ah-ha! Engard! Take that! …and that!" …Right…um… Well, while Yugi's mom had a frying pan and was whacking him earlier with it, the old fart some how managed to get a whisk from a nearby cabinet. And now, as you would see in a "Three Musketeers" movie, the two were duking it out as if their lives depended upon the outcome of this kitchen ware duel.

¿¿¿¿Owari????

Alrighty then! Thus ends chapter one of Shits and Giggles! I hope you all enjoyed it, if so, 9-9 please leave me a review? And to anyone and everyone, I don't hate any of the characters portrayed in this fic. The plot lines for each chapter are meant purely for humor, so please don't feel offended if you don't like what I've written. So yeah…well, Ja'ne!

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"Seto Kaiba…I have come for your sooooooooul!" came the eerie voice of something. "Surrender to me now or face your dooooooooom! Muwahahaha!"

Raising an eyebrow, the teenaged CEO picked up one of the various paperweights cluttering his desk and chucked it into the fog.

"Ow! Big brother! What was that for!?"