Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Love of a Priestess ❯ I'll Try ( Chapter 33 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

REVISED AUTHOR'S NOTE [4/13/05]: All right! I figured out how to fix the formatting! So I'm going backwards and reposting all the screwed up chapters… which is basically all of them… -groans-

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, this is my last ditch attempt to fix the formatting on this story. If it doesn't work, I give up. It works fine on my RK fic, but this one… it just hates.

Thanks to the usual suspects AMK and Jenny Galaxie for their reviews, as well as Persian and YamiAtemu. I love you all more than you could imagine!

Chapter 33: I'll Try

Now for the even harder part. Kaiba.

With a heavy sigh I hurried down the street. I was doing a lot of walking today—too much for my own good. Plus, this time I was walking in heels. I grimaced. I'd changed before leaving the house into something “respectable”—a neat gray skirt suit with a pale pink silk blouse and white heels. This was the first, last, and only time I would care about what I wore, I vowed. My legs and ankles were going to hurt so much tonight.

Nearly half an hour later I was standing at the entrance to Kaiba Corp. The building was tall, and, if my memory was to be trusted, Kaiba's office was on the top floor. I pushed through the revolving glass doors. If the elevators were broken, Kaiba could forget marrying me. I wasn't walking all that way.

Luckily for me (or Kaiba, as Mai would argue) the elevators were in tiptop shape. I stepped into one and pressed the button for the top floor. I drummed my fingers anxiously against the railing as I crawled up the floors. When the elevator dinged, I took a deep breath and stepped out.

The same secretary was still there, and she still didn't know who I was.

“Do you have an appointment, miss?” she asked.

“No, not in your book. I happen to have a very important appointment with Mr. Kaiba in my appointment book.” I strode past her towards Kaiba's office door.

“Miss! Mr. Kaiba is in an important meeting with his Board of Directors!”

I spun on my white, two-inch heels and stared her down. “Does it look like I care?” I asked, clearly irritated.

She quavered ever so slightly, and my tone softened. I sighed. I hated being a bad guy. “I need to speak with Mr. Kaiba about something very urgent. I missed an extremely important meeting with him Saturday, and feel I must explain myself. I also think an introduction to the Board of Directors would be in order.”

Neither of us needed to continue, because the door swung open—running over my foot. With a yelp I jumped backwards on one foot, the other held in my left hand as I caressed the newly forming bruise.

Kaiba was holding the door open for the other men, who were silently filing out.

“Oh, Mr. Kaiba!” the secretary cried. “She said she needed to see you…”

Kaiba looked decidedly uncomfortable as he saw me. “Well, gentlemen, you said you wanted to meet her…”

“Mr. Kaiba?” the secretary asked uncertainly.

“What is the meaning of this, Seto?”

These people were annoying. “Miss,” I said, turning to the secretary. “I think your phone is ringing uncontrollably, and you should be getting back to it.” She slipped away, affronted by my sarcasm. But at least now she knew I was important.

I put my foot down and tested it—it didn't hurt so much anymore that I couldn't stand on it. I limped to Kaiba and took his arm, leaning on him. Okay, so my foot still hurt.

Kaiba looked down at me, and I looked up at him sweetly. Oh, there was so much to talk about… He cleared his throat. “Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my aforementioned fiancée.”

I smiled sweetly at them, but didn't let go of Kaiba's arm or leave his side. I wasn't sure what they expected of me, and the last thing I needed was Kaiba's Board after me too. “Nice to meet you, sirs.”

They looked me up and down, and I thanked every god that I had thought to change. I also prayed that I'd picked something good. Finally, the one that appeared to be their leader nodded.

“She'll do, I suppose. Go ahead and get married, Seto, but we'll talk about this afterward.” I looked up at my fiancé, troubled. I'd never heard anyone boss him around. His response troubled me even more. His head was bowed, his eyes averted, and his shoulders slightly slumped. He nodded dumbly.

Something wasn't right here. I felt the sinister air settle around me, like a discomforting blanket. Oddly enough for today, I held my tongue. Anything I said here, I sensed, would come back to bite me with a vengeance—and rabies.

As soon as they had filed away into the elevators, I turned to look at Kaiba. An uncomfortable silence descended in place of evil, and we stood for a few seconds.

“Why don't you… come into my office…?” he suggested faintly, leading me inside.

We sat down at the desk in two chairs beside each other. I decided to start the conversation, but my boldness had fled. “I… I'm not sure how to explain what happened.”

“Yugi told me you were all right.”

“You trusted him?” I asked softly.

“I had no choice. I couldn't wake you… you responded to nothing. But Yugi seemed supremely confident that you were all right. So I trusted him, out of necessity.”

I was silent. We sat uncomfortably, Kaiba with his hands folded on the arm of his chair, studying them. “So… Tea told me that the wedding was postponed?”

He nodded mutely. “Until you're better.”

“I'm fine,” I said quickly, placing one of my hands over his. “Really. Tell me when it can be arranged.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“Can we have it at the mansion? In the garden?”

He looked up at me, confused. “I like the garden,” I explained. “It's… pretty,” I finished lamely. “And I can't imagine inconveniencing the church anymore.”

“That would be fine. When would you like to have it?”

“This weekend?”

“All right. This weekend it is.” The uncomfortable silence. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, barely audible.

“What?” I asked in response, confused.

“Are you sure you want to get married?”

I felt unintended anger rise in my chest. “Would I be asking you when we should get married if I didn't want to?”

“I just… I want to make sure this is really what you want. It would be such a big step for both of us…”

“You're just now realizing that?” I snapped, voice dripping with sarcasm, withdrawing my hand from his.

“It's just that…” he muttered, frustrated, running his hands through his hair.

“What?” I demanded.

“There are so many consequences that I hadn't anticipated. The Board of Directors was just one of them.”

“Consequences for me? Or consequences for you and your career?”

He didn't answer me. I never thought that it might be hard for him to say what he felt—hard for him to admit that he loved me. I thought it would—and should—be easy to say such a thing.

I stood, angry. Déjà vu, I thought dismally, as the last time we'd fought replayed itself in my mind. “If you'd just tell me outright that your career and reputation is more important to you, you'd make things a lot easier. At least then I wouldn't expect you to actually love me.” I shoved my chair away from the desk and stalked out of the room, not bothering to wait for his response.

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I walked—yes, walked—all the way back to the Kaiba mansion. I was too angry to care that my feet were throbbing. At some point, when I did notice, I simply removed my shoes and carried them in my hand.

When I got there I slammed the door closed and hurried upstairs to the bedroom. I didn't know if Kaiba was home yet, but I hoped he wasn't. I opened the door to our—his—bedroom, glad that discover that he wasn't there yet.

Angrily, I stripped off my confining clothing and changed into a looser, softer nightgown. I yanked my hair out of its bun and let it flow down my back. I wiped the makeup from my face and splashed icy water over it. I drew the covers back from the bed and flung myself down onto it.

Before I knew it I was sobbing into the satin-covered pillows, tears leaving wet streaks on my cheeks and the sheets. I curled on my side and lay there, miserable and hurt.

I didn't realize I wasn't alone in the house until I felt somebody sit down on the bed. Half-hoping, half-dreading it was Kaiba, I quieted my crying until I was breathing normally again. I kept my head down and my hair curtained across it.

“Are you… all right?” a small voice asked.

I looked up, uncurling my body and brushing my hair away from my face. Mokuba. “What are you doing here?” I managed to ask weakly, the sobs still threatening to escape from my breast.

“Someone dropped me off here after school. A friend. Seto doesn't usually get home for another hour or so.”

I sniffed in response, trying to keep the heaving in my chest under control. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly. “Did Seto say something?”

At that, I felt the tears leak out of my eyes and pour down my face. I was able to keep my breathing in check, but the tears would not be stopped. Well, at least I answered his question.

“He doesn't mean most of the things he says,” Mokuba added quietly.

“That doesn't help,” I mumbled into the sheets.

“Whatever he said to you, I don't think he meant it.”

“He didn't say anything Mokuba, that's the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked him a question… and I needed to hear an answer. I got nothing. Silence. That silence said more than any words he might have used to say the same thing.”

Mokuba apparently understood, because he sat silently for a few moments.

“I want you to be my sister,” he said quietly after a moment.

“I wouldn't mind being your sister,” I admitted.

“But you don't want to marry Seto, do you?”

The million-dollar question. Deep down inside, I already knew the answer.

“No, Mokuba, I do… but that's why…” The words wouldn't form properly in my mouth, and I said nothing.

“He… loves you,” Mokuba said slowly. The hesitation, though, made me wonder.

“Why do you hesitate?”

“Because he's never said it. I don't know if I've ever heard those words out of his mouth.” Neither had I. But not even Mokuba had heard it?

“So how would you know what your brother's thinking?”

“I just do. I know how he acts. He acts… differently. I think he really wants you to love him.”

“He's going to have to do an awful lot of changing—or explaining—before I can love him.” This, also, was not true. I already loved Kaiba—that's why it hurt so much to know he didn't love me. I had already forgotten that Kaiba was the one who craved love—that Kaiba had arranged this marriage in hopes that I would love him.

“Well, then, I love you,” Mokuba said simply. “Will you trust me, and marry Seto?”

I sighed heavily. “I don't have much of a choice, Mokuba. It doesn't matter what happens, I'm still going to marry your brother. Is that better?”

He frowned. “But I want you to be happy…”

“Happiness is a luxury, Mokuba. You deserve to be happy. Don't worry about me. I'll find my happiness eventually.”

“Will you leave us to find it?”

Why did I bring up philosophical matters with a twelve-year old? “I don't think so,” I answered, for simplicity's sake.

“Good,” he said, firmly. He leaned over the expanse of bed and hugged me around the waist. Surprised, I looked down at the top of his dark hair. I smiled, and hugged him around the shoulders. He crawled across the bed and settled in my lap, as if he were seven instead of in the seventh grade.

“I love you,” he repeated, with a little sniffle, and I realized he was crying.

“I love you too, Mokuba,” I murmured, smoothing his hair in a most motherly way.

I didn't hear the door opening and closing downstairs, and if Mokuba did, he didn't say anything. We sat there for minutes, me rocking him gently back and forth and stroking his hair. I don't know quite why I did it. Maybe I sensed in him the desire and need for a mother, the loneliness he faced with only Seto for comfort.

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Kaiba walked in on us like that, and stood silently in the doorway. Mokuba heard, because he stirred in my arms and sat up. I released him and let him dry his face on the sleeve of my nightgown.

“Mokuba,” Seto said softly.

“It's okay, big brother. I'm going to bed. Good-night,” he said to me as he wandered out the door past Seto.

“Sweet dreams,” I called after him.

That same uncomfortable silence settled over us. Why couldn't Kaiba be more like Mokuba?

“Everything is planned. I called the important people. Saturday morning, in the garden,” he said tritely, removing his coat and stepping into his closet to hang it up.

“Mmmm,” I murmured in response. I lay down on my side of the bed and drew the covers over me, effectively ending the conversation. I lay there, silently, feigning sleep, as Kaiba went into the bathroom to shower. When he came out, he climbed into his side of the bed but did not lie down. I sensed his wakefulness, and knew that he was sitting in the dim light of his bedside lamp, staring into the darkness.

There was a soft creaking as the door to the bedroom opened, and I heard gentle footsteps padding across the floor. “Seto?” Mokuba asked softly.

“Mokuba,” Seto said, surprised. “What are you doing up?”

“I'm worried, Seto.”

“About what? School?”

“No. I'm worried about you. And onee-chan.” I smiled at the term of endearment.

“Why?”

“She was crying, Seto. Because you're so silent.”

“I don't understand, Mokuba. What do you mean?”

“She said… she wants to hear you say special words to her. Words that mean something.”

“I still don't understand, Mokuba. If we're going to talk in circles, you should just go back to bed.”

I could imagine Mokuba's dark eyes narrowing angrily, as I heard the sheets rustle impatiently.

“Do you love her, Seto?” Mokuba asked, very directly.

There was silence, and a strangled sound from Kaiba. “I… I…” the words were choked and painful.

“You do, don't you?” I frowned to myself. How was that possible? I wasn't even awake; Kaiba should have no problem saying the one simple word that would have made everything better.

Still no response from Kaiba. “I know you do. `No' is too easy for you to say. If you didn't love her, you'd deny it. Why is `yes' so hard for your voice to form?”

“Mokuba…” Kaiba managed.

“You know I'm right, big brother. And nee-chan needs you to learn how to say it. She won't be truly happy until you do.”

Kaiba gave a little gasp. “She loves you, Seto, but she needs to know—know, Seto, not just suspect—that you love her, too.”

“It's something… I've never had to deal with before,” Kaiba murmured.

“Well, learn how,” Mokuba retorted, at that instant clearly Kaiba's little brother. I heard him crawl off the bed and pad out of the room.

In the gentle silence that followed I felt Kaiba's weight shift on the bed. He turned and leaned towards me, then reached out tentatively and stroked my loose hair.

“I'll try,” he whispered. “I'll try.”