Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The New Authoress ❯ Attack Of The Puppy Dog Eyes (Part 2) ( Chapter 16 )

Attack Of The Giant Puppy Dog Eyes (Part 2)

Sam: Last time, Ryou and Cyndi are horny, Maliksapprentice (Umi) has yet to save the white albino muskrat from MaujinVadar and heartbroken Yugi has turned into a Chibi and has started to melt my boyfriend and some other YGO bishis into a blubbery pulp from his chibiness… and I'm on high with sugar listening to Avril Lavigne… oh and I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh…

Umi: What about my teacher?

Sam: Who? Malik? Ah there's nothing wrong. He's doing fine… *Malik comes out of the CURSE room*

Malik: HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!! *gets dragged back in by Millennium*

Umi: *looking sneaky* Hey… psss…

Millennium: Ya?

Umi: *passes her a huge jar of HOTTER THAN THE SUN CHILLI PEPPERS…* That'll turn him on instantly… Millennium: Ooh… *grabs it* Thank you…

Umi: *whistles innocently*

Malik: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG- *door slammed shut but we see the CURSE room start to shake violently*

Sam: Let's not go in detail to what those chilli peppers are for…

Ryou and Cyndi: *smoochy lipstick all over each other and looking a little ruffled*

Sam: Had a good rumble? *cuddling C. Yugi who is still asleep*

Ryou and Cyndi: *sees C. Yugi* AAAWWWWW…. *Ryou melting*

Cyndi: O__O *staring at Ryou…*

Umi: How come we're not affected?

Sam: Cos we're not cartoon characters…

Cyndi: *mops Ryou away from C. Yugi's wrath* Then how come they're not affected!?!? *pointing at Joey and Seto*

Sam: *looking at Seto and Joey playing cards* They have younger siblings so they have an exceptionally high tolerance for kawaiiness…

Seto: Goldfish… This game is so stupid…

Joey: Only because your losing.

Seto: Shut up and get that ridiculous pillow from under you t-shirt…

Joey: *PMSing* I LIKE IT!!!!! *stands up and wacks him with a club, his t-shirt bulging with a pillow making him look pregnant*

Sam: Or maybe that they sort of react differently…

Joey: I mean you try it… *Seto rubbing his head before he stuffs a pillow under his shirt…*

Seto: Hmm… that is quite nice… *rubbing his tummy*

Umi: O.o?

Sam: We're just gonna get outta here… *carrying C. Yugi who is now sucking his thumb…*

Kiki: *comes in* ^________^… Hi aibou!!! o_0? *sees C. Yugi sucking his thumb asleep* ^()^ HOW KAWAAIIIII!!!!!

Sam: >.< Shhhh… *whispering* he's sleeping…

Kiki: Oh… *whispering* Can I hold him?

Yami: *comes in, sees Chibi and starts melting from Chibi cuteness…* ACK!!!!

Sam: *breaths in exasperation* He is so cute but he's an absolute nightmare to keep if everyone keeps melting like that!!!!

Yami: …help…

Mally: *comes in closing his eyes* Then your just gonna have to get rid of the twerp!!!

Kiki: No!!! *C. Yugi wakes up startled* oops… *we hear stomach growls…*

C. Yugi: *snivel, snivel as his stomach starts growling* hiccup, hiccup… WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *bawling Niagara Falls*

Kiki: *bottle of milk appears out of thin air and shoves it into his mouth*

C. Yugi: *suck,suck,suck,suck* ^o^ *holding bottle (SO CUTELY) suck, suck, suck*

Cyndi: Wow she's such a natural with children

C. Yugi: *finishes bottle, then looks at Kiki* BUUUUURRRRPPPPP!!!! Hiccup!

LS: *who has changed back to normal* CUTE!!!! *sees her boyfriend twitching* Lool Mally!!! He's so kawaii!!!

Mally: Um… I rather not…

LS: *turning serpenty* LOOK AT HIM!!!!

Mally: No… *Sam performs enema on him* AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!! T_____T Ok… *looks at C. Yugi who stares back*

C. Yugi: *blink, blink*

Mally: *starts foaming in the mouth and faints… again…* X_______X *starts melting*

Yami: *a measly little puddle by now* … help…

Sam: *grabs a mop and starts him along with Mally across the floor away from C. Yugi*

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In the meanwhile whilst we're having this problem of melting bishis…

Bakura: *runs into a room away from MaujinVadar*

MaujinVadar: *breathing* I know your around here somewhere… *passes the door in which Bakura is in…*

Bakura: *comes out wearing a bunny suit* Phew… *looks down* O_O *looks at door… saying PROP DEPARTMENT*

MaujinVadar: AHA!!!!! YOU THINK A DISGUISE WILL HELP YOU!?!? SAY YOUR LAST WORDS!!!! *holding lightsabre in execution pose*

Bakura: Erm… erm… What's up Doc?

Lawyers: THAT'S COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!!!! SUE!!!! SUE!!! SUE!!! *carries Bakura away*

MaujinVadar: O.O *blink, blink*

Bakura: Phew…

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Sam: Hmm… I wonder… *types on her computer, Dark Magician and Celtic Guardian appear* You two…

DM and CG: You called?

Sam: Yeah… *watching Pegasus come in and start melting under C. Yugi's gaze* Hang on… *to Pegasus* YOU IDIOT I JUST CLEANED THIS FLOOR!!!!!!! *starts mopping him up* Erhem…

DM: What is it?

Sam: Just a little experiment… *leads them over to C. Yugi*

C. Yugi: Daw Me-gic-tan… Cwo-ick Gwuar-DEE… (KAWAIII!!!!!)

DM and CG: *blink, blink*

Sam: *looking anxious*

DM and CG: *blink, blink*

Sam: *sighs in relief* Their ok…

Cyndi: What was the point of all that?

Sam: Well… I had this little hypothesis… Duel Monsters are created… not born… so… Duel Monsters have never been chibis, never had chibis so they've never… seen chibis before…

LS: And?

Sam: Well if they've… never seen chibis before… they don't know how to… react when they see one… look…

DM: *staring at C. Yugi whilst flicking through a book, picking up C. Yugi's arm and letting it go which plops on the floor*

CG: *prodding C. Yugi gently with his finger before cocking his head in an analytical way*

C. Yugi: *blink, blink, cock his head really kawaiily* Hiccup… *DM and CG jump back startled* guyaguyaguyaguyaguya… *starts gurgling incoherently hands outstretched wanting to be picked*

CG: I think it wants to attack us…

DM: Are you sure? I thought it was talking to us in this… strange language… I've never heard anything like it before… *flicking through his book*

CG: What? Like greeting us? *DM nodding*

C. Yugi: Hehehe… Cwo-ick… Gwuar-DEE!!

CG: What's… Cwo-ick Gwuar-dee?

DM: … *goes to flicking through his book*

Sam: He wants you to pick him up and give him a cuddle

DM: *blink, blink* Cuddle?

Kiki: Oh boy… *CG picks C. Yugi by the his ankle* No, no like this… *holds C. Yugi properly before passing him on to CG*

Sam: Right what we want you to do now… is babysit him…

DM: Babysit… is that some kind of magical ritual…?

Sam: It means look after him… keep him happy… play with him, feed him and change him

Kiki: Why can't I look after him? *pouts*

Sam: We've got to figure out the melting problem so I can keep C. Yugi in this fic without all the other bishis becoming coloured puddles…

Kiki: So? You've got lots of people to help you. Why does it have to be me? I mean Purple Wick Stand Head and Spock here don't even know which end to put the diaper on…

Sam: Hello? Why d'you think this fic's called a comedy?

Kiki: *blink, blink* Oh…

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Millennium: -,-zzzzzzzzzz

Malik: *quivering in the corner* I've gotta get out of here… *reveals spoon and starts digging a already deep tunnel under the CURSE ROOM*

Theme to The Great Escape: #DUNDUN DUDUN DUDUNDUN DUNDUN DUDUN DUDUN DUDUNDUN/ DUNDUNDUN DUDUN DUDUN DUDUNDUN DUDUN DU DUDUN DUDUN…#

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Seto: I want to go first…

Joey: No…

Seto: *whining like a kiddie* Oh but I wanna!!!!

Joey: WELL TOUGH LUCK JACKASS I WON THE BET SO I GET TO GO FIRST!!!! *Seto mutters*

Some lady that teaches you how to breath in those pregnant women breathing classes: Breath in…

Joey: *breaths in whilst Seto is being… the husband*

Some lady that teaches you how to breath in those pregnant women breathing classes: Breath out…

Joey: *breaths out whilst Seto is being… the husband*

DM: *staring at the two boys*

C. Yugi: *holding half a apple in his tiny hands and biting into it*

CG: *tries to flatten C. Yugi's stuck up hair with an iron* (A/N: I know, I know this is getting weirder than any episode I've ever written but I'm really laughing to death typing this right now)

Tea: Hi… What's up?

CG: Those two are doing some sort of strange ritural and they both have unusually large stomachs…

Tea: Oh… *sees C. Yugi and dies cos she's too evil to tolerate something so cute* X_________X

C. Yugi: *blink, blink, prods Tea and she deflates like a balloon flying all over the place* Hehehehehe (KAWAIIII!!!!!) Balone!!!

DM: Did you see that? It… killed her…

Seto: Thank Ra *Joey nodding in agreement*

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Sam: Uh oh…

Kiki: What?

Sam: Um… I've mixed the bishis together… whilst I was mopping them up…*they see one huge multicoloured puddle of Tristan, Ryou, Yami, Pegasus and Mally*

LS: That could be a problem…

Sam: Let's try freezing them back… I'll just get a Yami's mould from upstairs.

LS: Why do you have moulds for?

Sam: Um… I'm a sad person…

LS: Oh…

Tristan Hybrid: O.O *blink, blink* O.O *has Pegasus's style of hair, Yami's Millennium Puzzle, Ryou's eyes and Mally's tan*

Sam: O_OUUUUU

Tristan Hybrid: *looks at himself* AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sam: Um… *dashes off and comes back with C. Yugi. Tristan Hybrid starts melting again* That was disturbing…

Cyndi: I like his eyes… their so Ryou… *love hearts start emitting*

Kiki: *cuddles C. Yugi* ^_________^ He's so CUTE!!!!!

C. Yugi: *blink, blink* Yam Yam? *starts freezing the mixture of melted bishis again*

Yami Hybrid: *has Tristan's hair style, Mally's eyes, Ryou's sweater and Pegasus's o_0? Wings?* ¬_¬ This is `so' not funny… O_O I'm getting this urge to read comic books and eat cottage with pineapple chunks in…

Sam: >_<**** *grabs Chibi Yugi*

C. Yugi: *blink, blink* o_ouuu… *looks at Yami Hybrid…* T~T *whimper, whimper* WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! *starts bawling like Niagara Falls*

Kiki: *Yami Hybrid starts melting* YOU IDIOT!!!! YOU SCARED HIM!!!!!

Yami Hybrid: *continuing to melt* IT'S NOT `MY' FAULT I LOOK LIKE THIS!!!!!!

Sam: We're gonna have to melt the other two if their `this' badly mixed together…

Mally Hybrid: *has Yami's eyes, Ryou's hair, Pegasus's Millennium Eye and Tristan's… Sponge Bob underpants…* Somebody's gonna pay for this…

Ryou Hybrid: *has Yami's hair style, Tristan's eyes, Pegasus's red suit and Mally's Millennium Rod* Oh dear, oh dear…

Cyndi: My beautiful Ryou!!!! NNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!! *C. Yugi's chibiness melts the hybrids and we're back to square one*

Sam: We're gonna have to try and filter them out from each other. *tosses C. Yugi back to babysitters*

C. Yugi: WWWHHHHHEEEEE!!!!! *is tossed back to CG and DM*

DM: INCOMING!!!!

CG: EEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!! *they scatter whilst C. Yugi lands and bounces twice on his bottom*

C. Yugi: *giggle and claps his hands* Pwaypwaypway!!!!! *get's up on his toddler feet and toddles away to play with CG and DM who are now cowering in the corner*

CG: I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO ATTACK US!!!!

DM: *flicking through his magic*

CG: OH FOR RA SAKES GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF THAT BOOK AND FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!!!!!

DM: Um… um… *holds out a cross and pulls a wreath of garlic around their necks*

CG: -_-****

C. Yugi: *going red*

CG: I think it's going to explode… RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!! *runs whilst DM follows but tripping over his long robe*

DM: Darn robes… *gets up*

C. Yugi: *going redder*

/FARTING NOISE!!!!/

C. Yugi: *cover his mouth* Oops… I did doo dee… (SO CUUUUUUUTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!) *pinches his nose and fans away the… smell* poooooo… no more bweannies for me…

DM: X__________X

Death March Funeral Music: #DO DO DODO DO DODO DODO DODO… #

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Seto: *in a rocking chair stroking his… um… tummy* #Lullaby… say goodnight… go to sleep little baby…

Joey: *knitting a baby outfit and placing it over his… um… tummy* ^_________^

C.Yugi: JoJo? `Eto!!! *toddles towards them*

Joey: `Ello squirt…

C.Yugi: T_______T

Seto: What's wrong? *C. Yugi makes a squealing noise before he starts bawling Niagara Falls… again*

C. Yugi: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! WAHHHHH!!! WAAAHHHH!!!!!

Joey: o_o… Nappy rash…

Seto: Definitely… OI!!!! YOU TWO!!!! *CG carrying a still unconscious DM*

CG: Yes?

Joey: Change him will ya… else he'll be cranky all day… *resumes to knitting little baby outfit…*

CG: Change?

Seto: CHANGE HIS DIAPER YA BRAIN DEAD PILLOCK!!!!

Joey: Now, now Seto hon… you know what they said about anger being a bad influence on an unborn child… Now breath…

Seto: *takes a deep breath* (A/N: Yes… I am questioning my insanity here too…)

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Lawyers: *looking mightily please with smug gaces* WE HEREBY CHARGE YOU UNDER THE RESTRICTIONAL RIDICULOUS CLAIM DECREE 102847205872943579487519 THAT STATES THAT YOU HAVE STOLEN COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL UNDER SUBSCRIPTION LOW-DAR-CRAP PLAGARISM!!!! HOW DO YOU PLEAD!?!?!?!?

Bakura: I thought Restrictional Ridiculous Claim Decree 102847205872943579487519 stated that I had stolen materials under subscription ho-wan-to-bay-amil-on-year tomb robbing cos I know I'm guilty of that and I'd be only fined 50p for it.

Lawyers: o_0? *checks law books* We were talking about stealing copywrited material

Bakura: Oh then that would be under the Restrictional Ridiculous Claim Decree 10284720587294357948751 `8' and I plead not guilty…

Lawyers: o.0?

Bakura: And my defense is that I am myself copyrighted material and the disclaimer has clearly mentioned that the author that has used me does not own me or anything that I say in the fanfic for under Restrictional Ridiculous Claim Decree 87539457092347509275 that states that the authoress has announced disclaimer titles subscription sto-pad-id-e-ots authorisation rights underlay the use of characters and phrases in their respective pretenses on fictional entertainment…

Lawyers: @.@ (A/N: Load of cack-on-ble)

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Kiki, Cyndi and LS trying to think of an idea to separate the bishis…

Kiki: *idea light bulb lights up*

/DING/

Kiki: Let's try wearing coloured coded socks…

LS: … tried that…

Kiki: *idea light bulb blows a fuse. Sam comes in*

Sam: Animetrifugation… *they look confused* It's like this… every single individual anime character has a different density in particles so… if we place them to be rotated at a high frequency velocity then the densest particles of one particular anime character will be filtrated at the lower parts of the solution. That way we can separate them without anything mixed up…

Cyndi: *blink, blink* Do any of you know what she was talkin' about?

LS: Quit with the foreign mumbo jumbo and speak English!!!!

Sam: We'll try in the means of filtering them by spinning the guys in a tube really fast so the bits and pieces of the dumbest character will settle at the bottom.

LS: But it's going to be pretty hard to see who's dumber Pegasus or Tristan…

Sam: I don't care about `that' little detail… T_________T I just want my hunky, sexy, boyfriend/hairstyler back… *looking starry eyed* you don't know how cute he looks when he's eating ice cream and the way he kisses…*playing with hair* plus my hair is starting to get split ends. *they gather mop the puddle into a huge testube whilst Sam builds a huge spinning machine, like the ones NASA use for astronauts* OK!!!! Strap it up!!!! *they strap the tube up and it Sam makes it start spinning* Now all we have to do is wait… *they watch a bit*

Cyndi, Kiki and LS: *looking a bit green*

Sam: I hope Yami's going to be ok…

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CG: *busily trying to wake DM up*

C. Yugi: *tears streaming like a little fountain from both tear ducts* WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! *takes a breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *takes a breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

DM: *is splashed with water* Huh? What?

Seto: COULD SOMEONE JUST CHANGE THE CHIBI!?!?!?!?

Joey: Seto how many times have I told you!?!?

DM: We'll be on it… *approaches the wailing Chibi with CG closely behind*

C. Yugi: *crying reduced to a whimper…* Hiccup… *snivel, snivel*

DM: It's ok… I think…

C. Yugi: T______T *sniff, sniff, squeak, squeak* (AAAAAWWWWWWWW)

DM: Um… *picks up Chibi the way Kiki showed him but holding him away at arms length as if C. Yugi is a bomb*

CG: *sniff, sniff* AI!!! @()@

DM: *grabs a nose peg and puts it on his nose before he goes into a room to change* (OV) URRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! *runs out*

C. Yugi: Hehehehe!!!!! *toddles after him… um… half naked* Daw Me-gic-tan!!!! *glomps him in vice grip*

DM: ARRRGGGHHH!!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!! GET IT OFF ME!!!!

CG: *grabs C. Yugi and tries to pry him off DM's neck* I CAN'T IT'S STUCK!!!!

C. Yugi: *giggles and squeals* PIGGYBACK!!!! PIGGYBACK!!!! PIGGYBACK!!!! (KAWWWWAAAAIIIII)

DM: T_______T That's it I'm doomed!!!!

C. Yugi: I love you!!! Daw Me-gic-tan!!!! ^_______^

CG: o.0? Did I just hear what I just heard?

DM: o.o… Um… um maybe…

C. Yugi: ^_______^ *then starts yawning* Tired… go beddy bye… nigh-nigh!!! *curls up to DM*

DM: *blink, blink*

C. Yugi: *starts sucking his thumb cuddling DM* (OK, OK I know that I say this all the time but KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

CG: Hmm… it likes you…

DM: Yeah… *cradling C. Yugi* It's not really as bad as it seems does it? *rocking the Chibi* (AWWWWWW)

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Animetrifugation spinner: WHIRR!!! WHIRR!!! WHIRR!!! WHIRR!!! WHIRR!!! WHIRR!!! *Animetrifugation process almost done*

Cyndi, LS and Kiki: *looking really ill*

Cyndi: Are you sure this will work…

Sam: ^____^ They'll be a little dizzy but yeah it should be ok… O_O I think… ¬___¬ I hope…

Cyndi and LS: >___________<**********

Sam: *noticing very scary death glares on their faces…*Ok… I think their separated into their layers now… QUICK GET THEM IN THEIR MOULDS BEFORE THEY MIX AGAIN!!!! *they do so slamming the door of the jelly mould and pop them in the instant freezer… in Antartica starting with Pegasus or maybe Tristan at the bottom, then Ryou, then Mally then Yami*

1 boring split second later of freezing…

Sam: Let's check on them… *they let the bishis out*

Tristan: @()@

Pegasus: @()@ *both staggering in weird circles*

Cyndi: RYOU!!!!! *wrenches door open*

Ryou:… urgh… @()@ *bumps his head a bit*

Cyndi: Oh you're alright!!! Thank GOD!!!! *French kisses him*

Ryou: OoOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX *SBC poofs into action. Ryou's hair is on fire*

Cyndi: -^____^- UUUU eh… hehe… *puts out fire and hugs him*

LS: OH MALLY!!!! *grabs open the door and Mally tumbles out* Oh… oh Mally honey are you ok? Speak to me… say something love!!!!

Mally: -_-*** LS… I'm ok…

LS: *hugs him*

Mally: Just one thing…

LS: What?

Mally: *looking really green and ready puke* I think I'm going to be sick… BLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! The world is spinning to fast… BLLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

LS: urgh… gross…

Sam: *opens the door* Yami?

Yami: *slumps forwards*

Sam: You alright? *one of Yami's arm over her shoulder*

Yami: @____@… *shake his head from dizziness* I think so… *rubbing holding his head to stop the world spinning*

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