Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The New Authoress ❯ Living On A Remote Island Called England ( Chapter 21 )

Living on a Remote Island called England

Sam: *coming in with bags under her eyes*

Yami: O___O RA!!!! MY DARLING WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!?

Sam: *drops to the floor* X_____X

Yugi: This happened *hands Yami papers*

Yami: o_0? There are laws to say you can't make a character to OOC even in comedy. What kind of a stupid idiot would make up that kind of rule?

Yugi: A lawyer? *DING, DING*

Pyro: *poopsies out of nowhere. * CORRECT YUGI-BOY!!! 10 POINTS YOU WIN!!!!

#Canned applause#

Yugi: I won? I WON!!!!!! *Bounces about the hall then stops* O____o? What did I win?

Pyro: ¬__¬UUU *hands him a Kiki plushie*

Yugi: WWWWHHHHEEEEEE!!!!! *Bounces around the wall again*

Sam: X___X

Pyro: Actually Sam's last episode had people complaining that Itachi in her fic was too clumsy and a bit `too' OOC for people's liking… So… she went about desperately trying to find out what Itachi's character is like from the Internet for FOUR hours straight

Yami: *feels someone tugging on his coat* Yes sugar dumpling?

Sam: *weakly hands him a piece of paper* @___@

Note: Yami please relay this message to the readers… *message attached*

Yami: I will… I won't fail you!!! *Sam tugging on his coat again* what? *Sam points at note*

Note: DON'T CALL ME SUGAR DUMPLING YOU RETRO HEADED PILLOCK!!!!!

Yami: O.O *plasters up the message up on the wall*

Message: There have bee readers' complaints that the Naruto character Itachi has been portrayed as too out of character for their tastes. For this reason this entire chapter would be dedicated upon Itachi. Some of you might not know, the authoress writing this fic had not seen or heard of the anime Naruto until the appearance of permanent guest Pyro Dragon. It is sad to say that the poor authoress lives on a remote island called England where a lot of the anime that you as the readers have seen do not even exist over here. To put it simply, I'M ENTERTAINMENT DEPRIVED AND NOBODY LOVES ME WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Itachi: That's true… >:)

Sam: @_____@ *smacks him with a fan*

Itachi: MRGHM!!!!! *Covers his nose*

Bakura: *laughing like Nelson from The Simpsons* HAHA

Itachi: o___0? >:) *Draws out a knife and ready to go on a killing spree*

Bakura: O___O *runs away*

Itachi: *does his cloning technique thingy that I can't spell* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Bakura: meep… SSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!

Sam: *tugging on Yami's coat*

Yami: Yes? *She hands him another notice* Oh… *plasters notice on the board* >:)

Note: This chapter is also dedicated to Bakura bashing requested by many other reviewers particularly from special guests Hikari Tsubame (Hikari) and friends, Ice Vampire (Ice) and Vampire Inuyasha. (VI)

VI: AND I BRING THE VAMPIRES!!!! FRESH BLOOD FRESH BLOOD MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Itachi: ^__________^ I feel loved… *cuddles Sam* >:) and deadly… *throttles Yami with his bare hands*

Yami: *choking like Bart Simpson*

Sam: *getting cuddled* ^____^

Pyro: OI!!!! *Turns into man-eating monster* TWO TIMER!!!!

Itachi: O___OUUUU *drops Sam punches Yami then drops him*

Yami: X___@

Sam: T_______T

Bakura: Uh-oh… *sees all deadly Bakura bashing guests ready with sharp utensils*

Ryou: *sounding like that girl from Forest Gump* RUN BAKURA RUN!!!!

Bakura: Why should I?

Ryou: >:) *holds out his spoon* Kukukukukuku…

Bakura: AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Screams and flails his arms like a girly whilst crowd of Bakura bashers are chasing him*

Hikari: *shoots shot gun* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ALBINO FREAK HERE I COME!!!!

Hibari: WAIT FOR ME HIKARI!!!!!

Suzume: ¬___¬ Immature… ^_____^ I go shopping with Mai-chan WEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Yuri: I'll come along with the Bakura bashing but if I find Seto I'm a gonna beat him…

Sam: *finally wakes up* NOT SO FAST ICY VAMP!!!! *Grabs Ice by the necktie* YOU WANT TO BE A PERM YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH QUESTION TIME MISSY!!!!

Ice: Eww I don't want to be a pervert…

Sam: PERMANENT!!!! PERMANENT!!!! PERMANENT!!!! *Storms of in a mood*

Ice: O.O… Oh… ^___________^ PHWWWEEEEE!!!! *Floats after her*

Sam: AND NO FLOATING!!!!! *Ice drops to the floor*

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Mally: *back from major three month killing spree and is totally blood soaked* ^____________^ MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *Squishes an ant* RANDOM KILLING #15345343418613513541613518!!!!

Malik: So by the looks of things you had a good time… ^___^UUUU

Mally: ^____^ YEAH!!! We've killed off the entire human population of France, Russia, China and Tahiti.

Malik: O____OUUU *edges away* so… uh… have you won?

Mally: ^____^ YEP!!! YEP!!!! *Shows bloody sword in his hands*

VI: *chasing Bakura with vamp pals* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! O.o… ^()^ BLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

Vampire buddies: *drools* Blood…

Mally: Who are they?

Malik: This episode's special guests…

Mally: Oh… GAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Gets licked to oblivion* @_______@

Malik: *blink, blink… blink, blink*

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Itachi: ^o^ *goes off killing at random and wreaking havoc* LALALALA!!!!!

Lawyers: Oh… THAT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY VIOLATION!!!! LET'S GET HIM!!!!

Itachi: *looks to see if Sam's around* `_______'… o_______o…. O_____O I SUE YOU BACK!!!!

Lawyers: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *Burning in hell*

Itachi: MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Pyro: ^o^ Enjoying yourself Itachi-kun!!!!

Itachi: *bounces up and down* Oui, oui!!!!

Yugi and Kiki: *making out*

Itachi: ^()^ HEY!!!!!

Yugi: o_0?

Itachi: *slices and dices*

Yugi: *naked like a bebe…* O.OUUU

Kiki: Oooh…. *____*

Yugi: O.O…. Oooh… *covers his `Twinkie'*

----------------------------------------

Tristan: *comes in still naked after three months in trying to obtain the $1000 from his dare in Christmas. A beard had started to grow on him* ^_____^ Mmmm… I'm rich… *looks at his new beard* and manly…

Itachi: Hello…

Tristan: What do you want?

Itachi: What's green and disappears in one hand and reappears in the other?

Tristan: Um… I don't know… what?

Itachi: *snatches Tristan's hard earned $1000* YOUR MONEY!!!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Runs off with Tristan's money*

Tristan: *too stupid and stunned to realise that he's just been robbed*

Itachi: *comes back and shaves Tristan's beard as well* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Tristan: T_____T MY BEARD!!!!

-------------------------------------------------

Sam: Ok… you want to be a permanent guest. That would mean you'll be in every episode I write and if it needs be I'll need to require some ideas from you and keep the inspirational juice going. Do you accept this responsibility?

Ice: Uh… yeah I guess…

Sam: Are you sure?

Ice: Yep…

Sam: The job requires firm commitment… for as long as you shall live in the world of fandom… you know that don't you?

Ice: I know…

Sam: Commitment…

Ice: Commitment.

Sam: Commitment…

Ice: Commitment…

Sam: *turns into nasty serpent headed monster* COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT!!!! *Banging her fists like in a one of those rugby war chants*

Ice: O____OUUU Commitment…

Sam: *huge very, very sharp looking spear in one hand* COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT, COMMITMENT!!!! Ice: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT I GET IT!!!! NOW STOP POINTING THAT THING AT ME!!!!!

Sam: >____________<… ^______^ Welcome to the team… *spear disappears and she holds out a hand* Say the disclaimer for sealing your registration and then you may bash Bakura to your hearts content…

Ice: Madyamisam does not own Yu-gi-oh or any other pop culture that is used in this fic. May I? *Sam hands her Edward scissor hand gloves* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *Guts up the lawyers before resuming to Bakura hunting*

---------------------------------

Bakura: *breathing in gasps then hides*

Hikari: *sounding like Darleks from Dr Who* MUST. FIND. ALBINO. FREAK. EXTERMINATE!

Hibari: EXTERMINATE!

Ice: *finds Bakura*EXTEEERRRRRMIIINNNNATTTEEE!!!!! *Cocks her instant killing, anti-molecular laser gun*

Bakura: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! *Runs for his life*

Ice: Oh no you don't!!!! *Lassoes him then grabs his two devil horn hair like things*

Bakura: AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Ice: WHEE!!!! WHEE!!! WHEE!!!! WHEE!!! *Using Bakura in the Olympic hammer throw*

Bakura: WHHHAAA!!!! WHHHAAA!!!! WHHHAAA!!!! WHHHAAA!!!! *That sound you make when you're being spun around in a circle by your hair*

Ice: WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! *Let's go of the hair*

Bakura: IIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *Flies into a cannon*

Hikari: STUFF HIM IN!!!! *Shoves the albino muskrat into the cannon with those plunger things* PULL!!!!!

KKKKKKKAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM

Bakura: *flies through the air again*

Hibari: DIE, DIE, DIE!!!!! *Shooting at Bakura with shot gun*

Bakura's misadventure had unfortunately landed him in the most dreadful place imaginable… the ultimate hell… the epitome of evil

Chibi Yami: Goo, goo… *prods Bakura*

Bakura: X_____X *sizzle*

The chibi nursery

Chibi Yami: BUNNY!!!!

Sam: Aww… lookit Yami!!!! Bakura's dyed his hair black again!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!! *Pats Bakura's head and walks away*

Yami: ^o^… Kukukukukukukuku!!!!!

----------------------------

VI: MOOOOOORRREEEEE BBBBBBLLLLLOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!

Vampire buddies: RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Mally: *licked very clean (Sam: Somehow that just didn't sound right)*

VI and vampire buddies: *go off to more blood fests*

Mally: @________@

Itachi: *comes in counting money and sees Mally* Ooh…

Mally: Huh?

Itachi: *smiles* I like your sword…

Mally: O_O *looks at his crotch* (Sam: HENTAI!!!!!)

Itachi: I meant the one you're holding…

Mally: Oh… *holds it to him possessively* IT'S MINE… I KILLED FOR IT FAIR AND SQUARE!!!!!

Itachi: >:) *goes to grab it* It's mine now…

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

A few hours later…

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: MINE!!!

Mally: MINE!!!

Itachi: YOURS!!

Mally: YOURS!!!

Itachi: YOURS!!!

Mally: YOURS!!!

Itachi: YOURS!!!

Mally: RA-DAMN IT IF IT'S YOURS IT'S YOURS!!!! *Shoves shiny sword to Itachi*

Itachi: ^_____^

Mally: O.O…

Itachi: YOINK!!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Mally: O.O… T________T MY SHINY SWORD!!!!! WWAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

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Pegasus: *settles on settee wine and cheese and turns on TV to watch Funny Bunny*

TV: We regret to announce that this show has been cancelled… indefinitely…

Pegasus: O.O… NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Itachi: MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *Runs off, torture and kills a random person on the street* SLICE, SLICE, SLICE!!!!!

----------------------------

Hikari: THERE HE IS!!!!

Bakura: XP

Hibari: WAKEY, WAKEY BAKY WACKY!!!! *Splashes him with water*

Bakura: *coughs and splutters*

Chibi Yami: *______* Bunny… ^()^ DA!!!!

Bakura: O_____O

Bakura bashers: AAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!!

Chibi Yami: *rubs face into his chest* BUNNT, BUNNY!!!!! *Cuddles him*

Ice: GAH!!!! WE CAN'T BASH HIM IN FRONT OF THE CHIBI!!!

Bakura: ^_______^

Chibi Yami: Buuunnnyyyy… *Makes some kind of squealing noise and kisses him on the cheek*

Bakura: O_____O AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!! *Tries to pry chibi Yami off of him. Ends up running around wildly with Chibi Yami glomping him tightly*

Bakura bashers: o____0?

Chibi Yami: BBBBUUUUNNNNYYYYY!!!!!! ^()^

------------------------

Seto: …and this is my CD collection, this one's my computer collection this is my teddy collection… Oh and do you remember Tooky? Well Barbie here is his best friend kind of like us isn't it… *cuddles Joey* Anyway Chester, the water letter people and Super Toilet Duck are also Tooky's friends too…

Joey: ^______^ that's great Kaiba…

Seto: Now, now puppy. Cut the formalities. We're friends now remember? You're supposed to call me Seto… *cuddles and ruffles with Joey's hair*

Joey: Oh yeah… I forgot… `Seto'. It's great that you're now learning to socialise with people buddy…

Seto: ^o^ Mmmm!!!! Puppy… *glomps him* you're so understanding…

Joey: ^________^ Yeah I guess I am… Now… erm… Seto?

Seto: *still glomping* Yes?

Joey: I'm getting a bit of a cramp… would you mind loosening these bonds and untying me? *We zoom back to find that Joey's been tied firmly to a chair, hostage style*

Seto: *feels his shoulders* Actually there is a bit of tension… ^()^ I know why don't I give a massage?

Joey: Nononononono… there's no need for that… Just loosen the ropes on my arms and I'll be f- *groans*

Seto: *giving him a massage* how's that? Feel good?

Joey: T_______T yes…

Yuri: *who had broke off from Bakura hunting*Ah ha!!!! I FOUND YOU!!!! LET'S DUEL SETO KAIBA!!!!

Seto: Go away… *waves a hand at her* I'm currently having some private time with my puppy… ^____^ isn't that right koi-inu? *Cuddles him*

Yuri: o____0

Joey: No that's all right Seto… I can wait whilst you duel with her.

Seto: No, no Joey-kun… we hardly spend time together… well actually we do but I never stopped to appreciate you like I should so I'm making up for that… NOW GO AWAY OR I'LL CALL SECURITY!!!

Yuri: You be scary cat because you can't beat me aren't ya?

Seto: I told you… I WANT TO PAMPER MY PUPPY!!!! NOW GET LOST!!!! *Security drags Yuri away*

Yuri: IIIIIIEEEEE!!!!! T______T

Seto: ^____^ I also know a foot massage technique too you know?

Joey: O_____OUUU No Kai-err Seto you don't have to do that… you don- OOOH RAAAA!!!!!!

Seto: ^_____^ Jojo I heard that the most advanced foot massage techniques can have an aphrodisiac affect. ^____^ Weird no? But then it's never happened to me when I tried it…

Joey: *looking… flushed* Are you… high with… sugar or something…

Seto: No, never touch the stuff… ^______^ I did drink a dozen cans of Pepsi and ten cups of coffee though. O___O Uh… puppy?

Joey: *looking very… flushed* WHAT!?!?!?!?

Seto: I'm sorry I have to pause the session for a bit… I just realised I needed to go to the little blue eyes room…

Joey: No problem…

Seto: ^____^ I promise I won't be long… be back in flash… it's very quick…

Joey: Kay… *Seto runs off to the little blue eyes room*

Itachi: *coming by*

Joey: Hey… Itachi… Buddy… Get me out of here please?

Itachi: ¬____¬ what's in it for me?

Joey: ^____^ you get to torture Seto with the `I kidnapped your puppy and I won't let him go muwhahahaha…' ruse…

Itachi: But that would mean `you' wouldn't be tortured.

Joey: Oh believe me I'm going through enough torture to last for the episode mate

Itachi: ¬­____¬ having a foot massage with aphrodisiac effects? That's hardly torturing…

Joey: ^____^ Normally it wouldn't… >___< But I'm wearing a tight `iron clad' chastity belt…

Itachi: Hmm… it's a pretty painful form of torture… but…

Joey: It's rusting…

Itachi: *tuts* I don't know…

Joey: >___< AND WHATEVER ROOM I ACTUALLY HAD IN THERE IS BEING RENTED OUT TO A TARANTULA WHO'S NOW CURRENTLY SETTING UP HOME NEXT TO MY JOY DEPARTMENT!!! IF THAT'S NOT TORTURING ENOUGH FOR YOU THEN I DON'T WHAT IS!!!! O____O OOOWWWW!!!!

Tarantula in pants: KNOCK IT OFF!!!! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!!

Joey: SHUT UP!!!! THIS IS YOUR LANDLORD YOU'RE TALKING TO HERE!!!!

Tarantula in pants: OH NO!!! I'M SO SORRY MR WHEELER!!!!

Joey: DANG IT I'M NOT HAVING THIS I'M RAISING THE RENT FOR THAT ASSAULT BUSTER!!!

Tarantula in pants: OH PLEASE NO SIR!!!! I'VE GOT A WIFE AND 500 HUNDRED KIDS TO FEED!!!!

Joey: Kids? KIDS!?!?!?!?!? I WANT TO HAVE KIDS ONE DAY TOO YOU KNOW!?!?!?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITH `YOUR' HAIRY ARSE FILLING UP MY PRIVATE SPACE!?!?!?!?

Itachi: O___OUUU How big is the tarantula?

Joey: -___-UUU it's one of those ones from that Eight Legged Freaks movie starring David Arquette…

Itachi: Wow… how did it manage to squeeze itself in there!!!!

Joey: I DON'T KNOW!!!! ASK MARY POPPINS OR SOMETHING!!! LOOK, ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME OR NOT!?!?!?

Itachi: ^_____^ Hehe… I like you… you're funny… Ok I'll help…

Joey: --UUU oi…

Itachi: *takes Joey to the Curse Room and leaves a ransom note*

Seto: ^_____^ I'M BACK JOEY-KUN!!!! *Spots and reads kidnap note* NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!

-----------------------------------

Sam: How's your eye? Itachi didn't hit you too badly did he?

Yami: *whimpers*

Sam: Oh… poor baby… don't worry… Itachi was just expressing his feeling of freedom that's all…

Yami: Couldn't he have expressed it in a less painful way?

Sam: Nope

Yami: *whimpers*

Sam: Well the thing is his introduction had a rocky start and I mean I didn't know what he's like… I've never seen, read or even heard of the Naruto anime until Pyro came along…Think of it as a chance to get to know him…

Yami: To know `him' or his sharp knives?

Sam: ^____^ *pats him on the head* Oh you're so silly Sparky… but at least you understand… Tell you what; I'll make it up to you with a hot cup of cocoa, a nice warm bath and a Yoga session.

Pyro: o____0? Yoga?

Sam: It's a metaphor Pyro… you know for `eek, eek, hubba, hubba'?

Pyro: Oh… *realises* >:) OOOOHHH!!!!

Yami: ^____^ I'm up for the butterfly position… Hehe, hehe…

Pyro: ^____^ Hehe… what's that a metaphor for?

Sam: --UUU That unfortunately wasn't a metaphor…

Pyro: O.OUUU

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Bakura: *finds a crowbar and wrenches Chibi Yami off of him*

Chibi Yami: B-b-bunny? *Bakura runs away* T________T BBBBBUUUUUUNNNYYYY!!!!! *Tries to run after him and trips* WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Bakura bashers: Oh…

Chibi Yami: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Hikari: Oh what's wrong little guy?

Chibi Yami: BUNNY ONE WAY!!!! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Hibari: Bunny one-way? I've never heard of a bunny one-way

Ice: He means the bunny ran away…

Hikari and Hibari: Oh…

Suzume and Mai: *coming back from shopping*

Suzume: This is so great… I so got a bargain for those diamond earrings and their 99% discount. (Sam: Yeah, yeah I know there's no such thing… BUT IT'S MY FIC AND I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE 99% DISCOUNTS ON DESIGNER GOODS IF I WANT!!!!)

Hikari: Hey Suzume have you seen a bunny somewhere? This poor little guy said it ran away…

Suzume: What does it look like?

Chibi Yami: Wike this… *makes pulls his hair down into horns and does a very good impression of our beloved Bakura*

Suzume: Oh that bunny!!!! He went that way… *points to the girls bathroom*

Chibi Yami: T______T Bunny no wike me… *bawls again Niagara Falls style*

Hikari: That fiend…

Hibari: How dare he upset the poor chibi…

Ice: Rrrrright!!!! WE ARE GOING TO DRAG THAT… BUNNY AND SPIN DRY HIM UNTIL THE STAINS COME OUT!!!

Everyone else: o___0?

Suzume: Um… isn't that an advertisement for washing powder?

Ice: *ignores her and barges in towards the bathroom to see Bakura cowering away in the corner*

Yami: *reading the story as it went* He's cowering? Oh this I gotta see!!!!

Ryou: *preparing to scare Bakura with his spoon again* Oh my… I've become rather sadistic of late… O.OUUU Oh well… >:) *doesn't see Itachi behind him*

Itachi: *snatches spoon whilst carrying Joey away* >:)

Ryou: OI!!!! *SBC's and goes to fry Itachi*

Itachi: O__OUUU *flames miss him* >:) HA!!!!!

Ryou: O.O It didn't work…

Itachi: Neener, neener, neener…

Ryou: *notices the Itachi bashing void on the board* OH DARN!!!! >____<*** *Pouts and stomps away*

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Mokuba: Hmm… impressive…

Gangster: Isn't it beautiful? *Dips finger into slimy brown stuff*

Mokuba: It's impressive that you actually went to the sewers to get the sludge from there… It'll make great stink bombs…

Gangster: Yeah but be careful man… the methane gas coming from this stuff is really explosive…

Itachi: Indeed… *dodges another SBC attack from Ryou*

Slimy sludge: *gets caught on fire*

Gangster: NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!

KKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM

Mokuba: --UUU *covered in sludge*

Gangster: My sludge!!! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL SLUDGE!!!!

Mokuba: >__< Oh quit your whining…

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Sam: *doing the laundry* ^____^

Some nobodies: SSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

Sam: >_o… What is it?

YGO bishies except Joey and Yami: Is the chapter over, oh please say it is!!! *They all start talking over each other*

Sam: Settle down bishies settle down *they continue to blabber* I SAID SETTLE DOWN!!!!! *They shut up*

Pyro: Make a circle… tell us your troubles…

YGO bishies except Joey (who isn't here) and Yami: ITACHI'S MAKING OUR LIVES HELL!!!!

Bakura: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE BAKURA BASHING!!!

Chibi Yami: BUUUNNNYYYYYY!!!!!! *Glomps him*

Bakura: ACK!!!! XP

Bakura bashers: Aww… so cute…

Bakura: T____T GET HIM OFF ME!!!

Sam: Well Bakura you're torture time is almost over…

Bakura bashers: Aww!!! *Groaning in disappointment*

Bakura: YYYYYYEEEEESSSSS!!!!

Chibi Yami: ^()^ Bunny… *cuddles him*

Bakura: *shudders like Homer Simpson* --UUU

Sam: But that doesn't mean you can't come back to bash him in the future…

Bakura bashers: >:)

Bakura: O___O

Sam: As for the rest of you… what has Itachi done worse than what `I' usually do?

YGO bishies except Joey (who isn't here) and Yami: *talk at once*

Pyro: One at a time people one at a time…

YGO bishies except Joey (who isn't here) and Yami: *ignore her*

Sam: SSSSSHHHHHHHHAAAAAADDDDDDDDDUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

YGO bishies except Joey (who isn't here) and Yami: *shuts up*

Sam: -_-*** Now… one at a time…

Ryou: Itachi stole my spoon… I've had to resort to using a fork but it just doesn't seem to have the same impact on my Yami… *waves fork in front of Bakura*

Bakura: o____0? Ryou what in Ra are you doing?

Ryou: See?

Sam: Hmm… that is a problem… Don't worry we'll get it back…

Yugi: Itachi sliced off all my clothes and exposed my `Twinkie' to Kiki…

Kiki: *_____*

Sam: Yugi… Kiki's already seen your twinkie a few chapters ago…

Yugi: Yeah but I was surprising her with this thingy I bought from the Internet an-

Sam: O___OUUU THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! IT'S PG-13 YUGI!!!! DON'T GO INTO DETAILS!!!

Yugi: Sowwy…

Mally: HE TRICKED ME OF MY SHINY SWORD THAT I KILLED SO HARD FOR SINCE CHRISTMAS!!!!

Malik: And because of that my Yami's giving me an earful… T______T I need to go to the doctors for the hearing test tomorrow…

Sam: I'm sure Itachi will throw away the sword once he's done with it and I'll pay for your ear operation Malik

Malik: What!?!?!? What did you say!?!?!?

Pegasus: He tapped into the TV satellite to announce that Funny Bunny shows were cancelled indefinitely… I nearly killed myself…

Some random person: G-G-G-G-GHOST!!!! *Runs away*

Pegasus: o____0? *Looks at himself floating above the floor* Oh wait… ^___^ I did kill myself…

Sam: Well there's good news and bad news for ya… The good news is that Funny Bunny shows aren't cancelled.

Pegasus: ^()^ YAY!!!

Sam: Bad news is because you killed yourself you're a ghost and so you can't eat your cheese or drink your wine…

Ryou: *()* WWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!!! *Dances about before dashing towards Pegasus's wine cupboard*

Pegasus: O.O…

Tristan: He took my money and shaved my beard that I've been patiently been growing…

Sam: Right… well I suppose I could get the $1000 dollars back don't know about the beard…

Tristan: T______T

Mokuba: *still covered in sewage*

Sam: Lemons…

Mokuba: Lemons?

Sam: Yeah… when you're taking a shower…

Mokuba: Is that the fruit or the dirty reading?

Sam: ¬___¬ both… *Mokuba trudges away*

Other YGO bishies except Joey (who isn't here): X____X

Sam: *prods Seto* so what's your problem?

Seto: Oh… *shakes whilst nearly crying* MY PUPPY'S BEEN KIDNAPPED… *hands Sam the kidnap note* WWWWAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! *Starts bawling like Niagara Falls*

Sam: Well Yuri hired Itachi to kidnap him and the only way you can get him back is to duel her…

Yuri: *whispers* Sam… I didn't hire Itachi to kidnap Joey…

Sam: *whispers back* Just play along… you want to duel him right?

Yuri: Oh…

Seto: FINE!!!!

5 seconds later…

Seto: T______T I lost… I'll never get my puppy back…

CCCCCCRRRRRRAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!! CLUNK!!!

Joey: *comes out of Curse room chastity belt-less* Oh thank Ra… Tanks for the sword Itachi…

Itachi: ^_____^

Other YGO bishies: THERE HE IS!!!! *Charging towards him*

Tarantula in pants: *scuttles away with chastity belt over its body* you really letting me keep the flat Mr Wheeler?

Joey: --UUU Yes George… you can have the flat… I'm just glad I'm over the torture…

Seto: PUPPY!!!! *()* *Glomps him*

Joey: T____T I take that back… *chokes*

YGO bishies except Joey and Yami: *charge to beat up Itachi*

Itachi: *does his super ninja thingy*

YGO bishies except Yami and Joey: @_____@

Pyro: Wow… this is getting out of hand…

Sam: --UUU *sighs* I can't restrain his need to mercilessly torture people… there's only thing we can do…

Yami: T____T you don't mean…

Suspenseful music: DUN, DUN DUUUNNNN!!!!!

Sam: Yes, I'm afraid so Yami…

Yami: There has to be another way…

Pyro: No Yami… this is only way… Sam's right…

Sam: Yeah… we need…

Téa: ^()^ Hi everybody!!!!

Everyone else: *shudders*

Téa: IT'S BEEN SO LONG MY GOOD FRIENDS… THREE MONTHS ISN'T IT? OH IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU GUYS AGAIN!!!! ^()^ *Sees Yami* YAMI!!!!

Yami: *covers his mouth from screaming and hides behind Sam*

Itachi: Ack… so… annoying… must… kill… GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! *Stabs Téa with his knives*

Téa: Oh dear… that's not nice… Friends… shouldn't-

Sam: This could get messy people… let's get out of here…

Mally: T____T But my sword…

Ryou: And my spoon…

Joey: What you mean these? *Holds out all the stolen items*

Mally: ^()^ MY SWORD!!!! *Goes off randomly killing people again*

Ryou: My spoon… *goes Bakura to scare Bakura again*

Bakura: AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Ryou: >:) Kukukukuku…

Joey: All the items stolen from Itachi's kleptomania ways were in the Curse Room all along

Mally and Ryou: OH THANK YOU JOEY!!! *Glomp him*

Seto: >___<**** *twitch, twitch, glare, glare*

Joey: *choking like Bart Simpson*

Seto: MY PUPPY!!!! *Snatches Joey out of Mally and Ryou's arms*

Joey: @______@

Tristan: Hey… Joey buddy… you got my money…

Joey: Um… ¬­___¬ no… That was the only thing that Itachi's used… yeah… *hides the $1,000 dollars behind his back*

Tristan: Darn… I've been walking around naked for three months and it's all been wasted T____T

Police: Tristan Taylor… we're arresting you for indecent exposure…

Tristan: T____T Double darn…

Sam: Well I think that about solves our problems… Téa the undying female dog will keep Itachi-kun busy with his creative torturing ways and at the same time stop giving Yami nightmares whenever she tries to sneak into his room every night…

Ice: What happens if Itachi gets bored?

Sam: I highly doubt it. Téa's so annoying it'll be far too much fun to get bored of torturing her… but if that's the case we could throw in a couple of bishies for a bit of bashing…

Ice: >:) Like Bakura?

Sam: I suppose… anyway… must go to bed… come on Yami… I believe we have a Yoga session to get on with…

Yami: SSSSQQQQWWWEEEEE!!!!! ^o^

Ice and Pyro: O_OUUU

VI: Blood... *sees Bakura* More blood…

Vampire buddies: Blood…

Bakura: O.O AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! *Gets chased by Bakura bashers one more time*

--------------------------

Meanwhile Itachi is still busy killing Téa repetitively…

Itachi: *dragging Téa through a bush of metal roses*Ring around the roses…. *slices Téa's nose off and puts in her pocket* A pocket full of noses… *takes out katana* I slash you, I dice you… and you fall down…

Téa: *falls down* X____X

Sam: --UUUU In need of inspirational juice…