Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Princess Bride Yu-Gi-Oh Style ❯ The End of our Story err Parody ( Chapter 10 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The end of our Story err Parody

Disclaimer: I'm going to say this one last time. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, The Princess Bride, or any pop culture references in this chapter.

Me: Sorry for the long wait folks. I think I'll just skip everything and get to the story. Enjoy the last chapter.

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Joey: Noah dere's more den thirty

Noah: What the difference? We've got him. Help me here. We'll have to force feed him.

Joey: Has it been 15 minutes?

Noah: We can't wait, the weddings in half an hour and we strike in the hustle and bustle before hand

Joey is able to put Seto in an angled sitting position while Noah gets the Miracle Pill.

Noah: Tilt his head back and open his mouth.

Joey: *Does that* How long do we have to wait for da miracle to work?

Noah: *Puts the pill in Seto's mouth. * Your guess is as good as mine.

Seto: *Shouting* I'll beat you both apart! I'll take you both together!

Joey: Guess not very long.

Suddenly a paper airplane comes.

Joey: Hey there's writing on it. You two better make sure he lives… or Else.

Noah: Err let's forget that for a moment. *Grabs it, crumples it, and throws it over his shoulder*

Seto: Why won't my arms move?

Joey: Ya've been mostly dead all day.

Noah: We had Miracle Marik to make a pill to bring you back.

Seto: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Kisara?

Noah: Geez shut up with the questions. Now let me explain… *Starts explaining everything in a fast-forward voice and neither Joey nor Seto can understand him. Soon he finishes. * And that's about it. Any questions?

Seto: Yes… what exactly did you just say?

Noah: Fine I summarize. Kisara is marrying Stephen in a little less then half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, and make our escape once I find out where Count Lector has my brother and then kill Count Lector.

Seto: That doesn't leave much time to screw around does it?

*Seto's fingers start twitching*

Joey: Hey you just wiggled your finger. Dat's wonderful!

Seto: I've always been a quick healer. (To Noah) What are our liabilities?

Noah: There is but one working castle gate. And it is guarded by 60 men.

Seto: And our assets?

Noah: Your brains, Joey's strength, and my steel.

Seto: That's it? Impossible! If I had a month to plan maybe I could come up with something! But this…

*Seto shakes his head*

Joey: You just shook ya head. Doesn't dat make you happy?

Seto: *He sounds ticked* My brains, his steel, and your strength against 60 men, and you think a little head jiggle is suppose to make me happy!?

Joey: Well excuse me for not being a pessimist!

Seto: *Ignores Joey* If we had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.

Noah: Joey where did we put the wheelbarrow the Skull head kid had?

Joey: Eh over da skull kid I tink.

Some random person: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's the Mr. Skullhead show.

Joey, Noah, and Seto glare at the guy.

SRP: Eh everyone's a critic. *Walks away*

Seto: Anyway, why didn't you list the stupid wheelbarrow as one of our assets in the first place!? What I would give for a holocaust cloak.

Noah: There we cannot help you.

Joey: *Pulls one out* Will dis do?

Noah: Where did you get that?

Joey: At Miracle Marik's. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it. ^_^

Seto: All right, all right. Come on help me up. Now I'll need a sword eventually.

Noah: Why? You can't even lift one.

Seto: Yes but that's hardly common knowledge. *His head limply tilts back and Joey helps put it up. * Thank you. Now there may be problems once we're inside.

Noah: No sheet Sherlock! How do we find the count? Once I do how do I find you again? Once I find you again, how are we going to escape?

Joey: Don't pester him. He's had a hard day.

Noah: Right, right whatever.

Joey: Noah

Noah: Yeah?

Joey: I hope we win.

Switch to Kisara in a gorgeous wedding gown.

Stephen: You don't seem excited, my little muffin.

Kisara: Should I be?

Stephen: Brides often are I'm told.

Kisara: I do not marry tonight. My Seto will save me.

(A/N Here comes one of my favorite parts)

Stephen and Kisara kneel in front of the clergyman and then he speaks.

Clergyman: Mawige… mawige is what bwings us togewer today.

Kisara: *Biting her lip so she won't laugh*

Some random person watching: *Whispering* Where did they get this guy? The Elmer Fudd School of Speech?

Clergyman: Mawige, the bwessed awwangment, that dweam wiffim a dweam.

Meanwhile outside

Random Guard # 43: Stand you guard!

Joey in the cloak on the wheelbarrow being pushed by Noah and Seto (I think): I am da Dread Pirate Kazuki! Dere will be no survivors!

Noah: Now?

Seto: Not yet.

Joey: My men are here, I am here, but soon you will… um… *Whispers* What was my line again?

Seto: You will not be here nimrod.

Joey: Ya will not be here nimrod.

Seto: *Mutters* Nimrod

Noah: Now?

Seto: Fine light him.

*The cloak is set on fire. *

Joey: Ow da burns. I mean… Da Dread Pirate Kazuki takes no survivors! *Mutters* Aw man deese burns hurt. *Roars* All your worst nightmares are about to come true. *Mutters* Can someone give me some water?

*Back inside*

*Kisara is on the floor giggling Stephen is bored*

Clergyman: Ven wuv twoo wuv will fowwow you fowever…

Stephen gives a sharp nod to Lector and the Western idiot runs off.

*Back outside*

*Joey is still on fire. *

Joey: Da Dread Pirate Kazuki is here for ya SOULS! *Mutters* Seriously guys, I don't tink I can take dis anymore.

Rex: Stay where you are! I said stay where you are!

*Back inside*

Clergyman: So tweasuwe your vruv.

Stephen: Skip to the end.

Clergyman: Have you the wing?

Stephen forces the ring on Kisara's finger and everyone hears loud screaming.

Kisara: *putting herself back together* There's my Seto now.

*Back outside*

Joey removes the cloak and he's burned.

Noah: Here Joey. *Gives Joey two herb thingies*

Joey: *Is completely cured* Tanks Noah. Where did ya get deese?

Noah: I got one at some village with evil people and I bought a bunch at some store at the desert.

*Meanwhile in RE 4 world*

Leon S. Kennedy: Hey what the crap? There was suppose to be a green herb right here! What… the… crap?

*Meanwhile in BOF IV world*

Nina: Ryu, we're all tired. We should either go rest at the Inn or buy some Healing Herbs

Ryu: *Nods and goes to a store*

Store guy: Sorry buddy we're out of healing herbs. Some blue/green haired kid bought them all.

(A/N The Resident Evil games and Breath of Fire games belong to Capcom. ^_^)

*And now back to our story… inside*

Stephen: Your Seto is dead. I killed him myself!

Kisara: Then why is there fear behind your eyes?

Stephen: Um… I… um… left the oven on. Just a moment. *Runs away*

*Back outside*

Seto, Noah, and a now fully healed Joey corner Rex.

Seto: Give us the key

Rex: I have no key!

Noah: Joey tear his arms off.

Rex: Oh you mean this key.

*Back inside, Stephen is back*

Clergyman: And do you Pwincess Kisawa.

Stephen: Man and wife say man and wife.

Clergyman: Man and wife.

Stephen: *To his parents* Escort the bride to the Honeymoon Suite. I'll be there shortly.

Kisara: *Disappointed* He didn't come.

*Meanwhile Seto, Joey, and Noah FINALLY get inside after 5 pages*

Lector: Kill the dark one and the moron. But leave the third for questioning.

*The warriors attack but Noah beats the cheese out of them. *

Noah: *To Lector* Hello… my name is Noah Kaiba. You've broken my family prepare to die.

Lector: *Looks like he's going to fight but at the last minute… he runs away like an idiot*

Noah: Hey no fair! *Chases after him. *

*Soon Lector goes downstairs and locks the door. But as hard as Noah tries, he can't ram it open. *

Noah: Joey! I need some help.

Joey: Um… er… Sorry. *Places Seto on some armor and then rushes to help Noah*

*Joey stops Noah and then swipes the door and it smashes open. *

Noah: Thanks.

*Inside, Lector is… on the computer!? Reading webcomics? *

Lector: Oh dear when is that moron ever going know the feelings that gal has fer him

Noah: O_o?

*Meanwhile*

King: Strange wedding.

Queen: Yes. A very strange wedding. Come along.

Kisara: *Kisses the king on the cheek*

King: What was that for?

Kisara: Because you've always been so kind to me. And I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the Honeymoon Suite. *Leaves*

King: *Smiling like an idiot* Well won't that be nice? *To the queen* She kissed me…

*Meanwhile, Noah is still a little disturbed about Lector's fanboyness towards web comics*

Lector: Wow I can't believe what happened.

Noah: Um… Count Lector…

Lector: Hm... oh crap, gotta git into character. *Grabs a dagger and throws it at Noah. * Ya'll must be that blue/green haired kid I taught a lesson to those years ago. *Lector starts to laugh and Noah sinks to the ground*

*Meanwhile… I'm getting tired of typing meanwhile*

Kisara: *Is about to use a dagger to stab herself*

Seto: You know… I'm not going to say it. Knowing you, you'd slap me to next week if I said it.

Kisara: *Drops the dagger and hugs Seto… on the bed. Not that way pervs!* Oh Seto! … Seto why won't you hold me?

Seto: …

Kisara: Let me guess another pervert joke that you'd be risking your face if you said it?

Seto: Yup.

*Meanwhile*

Noah is trying to win.

Lector: Good heavens. Are ya still trying win?

Noah: Well yeah that box of text did just say, “Noah is trying to win”!

*Lector and Noah look up and see what I just typed. *

Lector: Oh. Well anyway ya'll got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's gonna git you in trouble some day. *Puts a bunch of spyware on Noah's shoulder*

Noah: … You know I'm not virtual right now.

Lector: Oh…

*Then we have the big fight scene, which I'm too lazy to type up. *

Noah: Hello, my name is Noah Kaiba. You've broken my family. Prepare to die.

*The fight continues and Noah keeps saying that line louder and louder. *

Lector: Stop saying that!

*Then Noah stabs Lector and says that line one more time. *

Noah: HELLO, MY NAME IS NOAH KAIBA. YOU'VE BROKEN MY FAMILY. PREPARE TO DIE! Now offer me money.

Lector: No.

Noah: *Slashes Lector on the cheeks. *

Lector: Ah mean yes!

Noah: Power too. Offer me power.

Lector: All that ah have and more. Please!

Noah: Offer me everything I ask for!

Lector: Anything ya'll want.

Noah: I want my little brother back you son of a bitch. Now where is he?

Lector: He's at my Private Cabin in tha Countryside.

Noah: ^_^ Good, now I can kill you. *Kills Lector*

*Then Noah does a victory dance*

*Back to the honeymoon suite. Seto hasn't moved an inch and his face is covered with kissing marks. Kisara is still where she was. *

Kisara: Oh Seto, can you forgive me?

Seto: What did you do?

Kisara: I got married. I didn't want to. It happened so fast.

Seto: It never happened

Kisara: Wha?

Seto: It never happened.

Kisara: But it did. The Elmer Fudd impersonator said “man and wife.”

Seto: Did you say I do?

Kisara: Actually not really. We kind of skipped that part.

Seto: Then you not married. If you didn't say it, you didn't do it.

Kisara: I guess I can't argue with that logic.

Seto: Right… wouldn't you agree your highness?

*We now see that Stephen is here and he has his sword out. *

Stephen: A technicality that will be remedied. But first things first. To the death.

Seto: No… to the pain.

Stephen: I don't think I've heard of that before.

Seto: I'll explain. And I'll use small words so I won't confuse you wart-hog-faced-buffoon.

Stephen: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Kisara: Not really, you've been insulted tons of times.

Stephen: I'm not counting you and the nurses.

Kisara: *Mutters* Sexist -_-;

*Seto clears his throat. *

Seto: To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

Stephen: And then my tongue I suppose. I killed you too quickly last time.

Seto: No you mostly killed me. You see the difference between mostly dead and all dead is… oh wait never mind it's too complicated for you.

Kisara: *Sighs* Sounds like the Seto I know and love is back.

Seto: Anyway, the next thing you'll lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.

Stephen: And then my ears. I understand. Let's start the stupid thing already!

Seto: Wrong! Your ears you'll keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every damsel that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Holy crap what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

…

Kisara: Ew…

Stephen: I think you're bluffing.

Seto: It might be possible.

*Seto starts to stand up with the sword he took from Rex a while ago. *

Seto: Drop your sword.

Stephen: *Starts whimpering and drops his weapon*

Seto: Have a seat

*Stephen plops down onto the closest chair. *

Seto: *To Kisara* Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.

Kisara: *Ties the rope very, very, very tight. *

Stephen: Can… hardly… breath…

*Soon Noah enters*

Noah: Where's Joey?

Seto: I thought he was with you.

Noah: No

Seto: Well in that case… *falls down* Ow.

Noah: *To Kisara* Help him!

Kisara: Wha!?

Noah: He has no strength!

Stephen: Ha! He was bluffing! I knew it! I am never wrong!

*Kisara, annoyed, hits Stephen on the head and K.Oes him. *

Noah: So can we kill him?

Seto: *Starts to get up* No. I want him to live a long life alone with his cowardice.

Joey: *Off-screen* Hey Noah! Noah where are ya?!

*Kisara, Seto, and Noah walk to the balcony. *

Joey: Ah dere you guys are. I saw da Prince's stables and deese 4 white horses. And den I thought, hey there are four of us when we find the lady… hey you found her. Hello lady. Anyway I took da horses in case we bump into each other. I guess we did.

Noah: Joey you did something right for once.

Joey: Don't worry I won't let it get to my head.

Kisara: *Then jumps and lands on one of the horses*

Joey: Wow.

Kisara: I took gymnastics as a hobby so I could avoid the prince two years ago.

*Back to Noah and Seto*

Noah: You know it's very strange. I have been in the revenge business for a while. Now that it's over, I don't know what to do with my life after I find my little brother.

Seto: Have you considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Kazuki and maybe your brother would love sailing around.

*Soon we see the four riding off with their horses. *

Solomon: They rode to freedom. Noah and Joey left Kisara and Seto to go find Noah's little brother. As dawn arose Seto and Kisara knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other…

*Back to the bedroom*

Mokuba: What? What?

Solomon: No it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.

Mokuba: I don't mind so much. And don't say it.

Solomon: *Mutters* Rats *Out-loud* Okay

*Now we see Kisara and Seto sharing their kiss. *

Solomon: Since the invention of the kiss, there have been 5 that rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.

*Solomon then closes the book*

Solomon: Now I think you outta go to sleep.

Mokuba: Okay.

Solomon: *Standing* Okay, okay, okay. All right. So long.

Mokuba: Grandpa? Maybe you could come again and read it to me again tomorrow.

Solomon: As you wish.

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Me: Yes I finally finished it after all these months! Phew. Anyway thanks to all the reviewers. Thanks to Sci Fi Scripts.com for having a script of “The Princess Bride” without it this parody would've been bad and broken. Anyway see ya everyone.