Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Yami and Ryou Show ❯ DARN YOU, KAIBA!!! ( Chapter 2 )

((Disclaimer- Me no owny TicTacs, Yugioh…. Its charries…. And I am all out of apologies for not updating as well. *le sigh*

*sobs in the corner of her circular room* I'm sorry! Whaaa! ;-; You've all reviewed but I haven't done my part to update! And it seems Yami Bakura has a fan or two. Not that it's wrong, XD. I'm a Bakkie-sama fan too! Anyways, how about we get on with this ficcie, that sound fine to you? ^^;; I didn't expect to actually get reviews….. *meanders off to type*))

~The Yami and Ryou Show~

written on… um, sometime in April all through to the end of May, long after my last review. o.o;;; Oh well.

~::~

Ryou: Welcome again to our lovely, yet poorly updated, show! Starring Yami's truly, ME! ^-^

Yami: And me.

Ryou: Oh, Yami-kuns, where's your talk-show spirit? Come on, we have a show to perform! *all smiles and happiness*

Yami: Feh. *all gloom and despair*

*suddenly, spiky haired shadow looms over the two*

Voice: FINALLY! My time to WIN has come!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Yami: Jou?

Ryou: No way, it's Honda. He's got pokier hair.

Yami: Maybe it's Noa.

Ryou: Naw, that little kid doesn't have any spikes at all.

Yami: Wait, duh, of course… It's my Hikari.

Ryou: Oh yeah, that sounds about right! ^_^

Voice: *steps out of the Shadow-maker-er, and into the conveniently placed beam of light* You fools! It's me, Yami Bakura!

Yami and Ryou: Oh, oh… right.

Bakura: Oh come ON!! I'm the only one out of that list that actually has been on this show!!!

Ryou: Nuhuh, Chibi Yugi's been here too!

Bakura: Well… yeah, but he can't exactly evil-laugh… believe me, I've tried.

Yami and Ryou: o.o;; Uh…..

~meanwhile, backstage~

Chibi Yugi: Mwanalafatralalala! ^-^ *eats some TicTacs* Yay, Bakla!

Pegasus: Totally, I love parsely too! ^o^ Oh, and that cute ickle pirate that can't pronounce it! What's his name? Sparry? Fairy? Potato…? Hmmmm…

~back onstage~

Bakura: *cough* As you've seen from that odd footage of Chibi Yugi and Pegasus's conversation, what I say is true.

Yami: And what was it that you were saying again?

Bakura: GRAH! Have you been even listening?!

Ryou: Oh, don't be silly, slightly-more-evil-version-of-myself! Of course Yami-kuns wasn't listening! Ohohoho, he'd never listen to you!

Bakura: And why the hell not?!

Yami: *currently bobbing his head to that Yellowcard song, that he's got turned up full blast on his headphones* "There's a place off Ocean Avenue, where I used to sit and talk to you-"

Ryou: ^^;; That seems to be his current favorite.

Bakura: -.-*** *mumbles so quietly it makes you wonder if he's actually thinking it* …Baka Pharaoh…

Yami: *ahem* What was that, Tomb Robber?

Lara Croft: *cartwheels out of some hole in the ceiling* What?

Everyone else: O.o;;;

Audience: ~.~0 Terrible puns….

Bakura: *twitch* *twitch*

Lara Croft: Cool beans, a double twitch! Triple points! *writes down some score on a notecard*

Pegasus: No fair, Lara! *runs out of backstage* There's a REASON why they call this Backseat-Anime-Facial-Expressions-Bingo! *stabs his hand's finger at her* The great Five-Fingered Wonder, as mentioned in chapter eight of AnnyJTV, declares the rules of this game, Crofty-Wofty, and he, the Great Five-Fingered Wonder, ruler of Ronald 6, says that you, Lara Croft, Tomb Robber from that really cool yet scary game, are a cheater-cheater-monkey-eater!

Lara: I don't eat monkeys!

Bakura: *suspicious look* Or DO you….?

Pegasus: *in his hand's Five-Fingered Wonder voice* Lara Croft, in the name of all the Playstation games in your image, I, the Great Hand with Five Fingers, punishes you!

Lara: Nuuuuuuuuuu! *waits for punishment*

Everyone else, except for Pegsy: *also waits*

Great Five-Fingered Wonder: ….. *cough* ….. Die, large-chested woman! *Pegsy's hand tackles Lara, somehow…*

Ryou: Are we allowed to show such brutality?

Yami: Meh, it's the Internet. If we can have Paris Hilton in that video of her, surely we can show some strange one-eyed guy who thinks his hand is a god tackling a chick with a figure that no one in the real world can possible comprehend, right?

Ryou: Ah…. Um… right. I suppose so….

Yami: *goes back to singing* "We were both sixteen and it felt so right, sleeping all day and staying up all niiiiiiiight-"

Ryou: >.>;; ….

Bakura: Hah, that was a long time ago…. *remembers quite vividly what happened when he and Yami were sixteen*

~Flashback~

Past Yami Yugi: Hey, tomb-raider, wanna go do the nasty?

Past Yami Bakura: Um… sure. Will there be stealing involved in this `nasty' you speak of?

PYY: Um… well, if you're a virgin, sure.

PYB: O.o; ????

*both frolic off to do some mad-crazy stuff behind High Priest Set's house*

Set: Darn you, PHARAOH! How am I supposed to water my Lilies of the Nile with you two rolling amorously around in them?! HM?!?!

~end flashback~

Bakura: o//////o;;; … *glances over at Yami, who's still rocking to the music* ….

Ryou: O.O;;;

Bakura: WHAT?!

Ryou: *backs away slowly*

Bakura: Oh right… same mind… ugh.

Ryou: Seto… gardened?! *turns to Seto, who's sitting conveniently in the audience and stares in disbelief* YOU?! With LILIES?!

Yami: *wakes up from daydream filled with Yellowcard tunes* Hm? Seto farmed lilies? *busts out laughing* Ahahahaha, Kibbles loves flowers! Can I get the Flower Clow Card for ya, you pansy?!

Sakura: Phwee?

Seto: DAMN YOU BAKURA! YOU AND YOUR… your…. PAST MEMORIES!! *pegs Bakura with a spare umm… peg leg(XD I've got pirates on the mind)*

Bakura: *is knocked out by this peg leg* X_x;;

Pegasus: O____O *gasps to the max(echo max)* A peg leg! *glomps the peg* Your name will be Peaches and you will be mine and the Five-Finger-Wonder's… um, play-thing… *suspicious looks around as he glances back and forth between Ryou and Yami and the audience* …. *backs away behind stage*

Ryou: That… was odd…

Yami: Yeah, well, if it concerns Pegasus J. Crawford, you know it can't be normal. The guy created a card game to replace his wife.

Seto: *steps up onstage, and is still angry from what happened a few minutes ago* YEAH, and what's up with the J in his name, anyhow? What's it supposed to stand for?!

Yami: Oh, hey pansy. *snickers*

Bakura: *mumbling while still unconscious* …that's a good candy bar….

Chibi Yugi: *toddles onstage, as well* o.o *tilts head* Miyaaa…? *eats a Tic Tac* *clears throat, and starts speaking in a Yami-like, deep voice* Ahem… I believe the J in Mr. Crawford's name stands for Jomama… as in the popular rhyme- "M-A-M-A, how you think you got dat way? Yo mama!" …. *scoots back offstage*

Ryou: And that… was even odder.

Yami: O_o Did he just use my voice to speak?

Yami Fangirls: *growling* Despite how hot that just was, only Yami Yugi can use Yami's sultry, deliciously deep voice! This is an outrage!!!

Yami: O///o;; *backs a bit towards Ryou*

Yami Fangirls: *sob loudly* Nuuuuu, don't back away from us, Yami! *almost jump three feet into the air and onto the stage, but burly crossdressing guards hold them back with the power of the Farce(a/n- Yes… farce.) and pink tutus*

Ryou: *breathes sigh of relief* Thank Ra for crossdressing bodyguards….

*weird announcer guy that is really Bandit Keith in disguise pops up onto the stage, as well*

Bandit Keith: And now you in the audience can get one of these gender-confused ruffians of your own for only $$99.99!!

Seto: *jumps next to Bandit Keith, while dressed in a red coat and yellow, circular sunglasses and with spiked, bleached blonde hair* And you can get your own double dollars, approximately 60 billion in amount, by killing ME!

*audience takes out fire and pitchforks, along with the occasional water gun*

Seto: I MEAN, THE GUY THAT WEARS THESE THINGS!!! *points and accusing finger at a very naked Vash the Stampede in the corner of the building*

Vash: =.=;; DAMN YOU, KAIBA! *shakes a menacing fist*

Seto: *sighs* Yes, it seems a lot of people want to damn me, these days… *remembers moment fondly*

~Seto Flashbacks~

*Seto plays that fake Shadow Game with Grandpa and makes him go into a mini-coma*

Yugi: DAMN YOU, KAIBA!!!

Seto: *laughs insanely*

-

*Seto rips up that damned Blue Eyes of Gramps*

Grampa and Yugi/Yami: DAMN YOU, KAIBA!!!

Seto: *laughs insanely*

-

*Seto plays Yugi in a similar fake Shadow Game some time later, and plays his Blue-Eyes(I think, so, anyway. I'm going by manga, here, by the way)*

Yami: DAMN YOU, KAIBA!!!

Seto: *laughs insanely, then thinks of doing Yami under the table which makes him laugh even insanely-er(okay… mebbe he didn't REALLY do that last thing…. ^^;;))*

-

*Seto fights Joey on Pegsy's Island as a side match*

Joey: *loses MISERABLY* D-DAMN YOU, KAIBA!!!!

Seto: *shrugs and walks away*

Joey: Hey, where's MY insane laughter?!

Tristan: *laughs somewhat insanely* There, is that better?

Joey: ;-; *feels left out*

-

*scene with Seto fighting Yami that really comes after the next clip, but I didn't feel like changing it*

Seto: *steps backwards onto the edge of the tower while inwardly laughing insanely, while also having that creepy, stoic stare on his face*

Yami: *shaking a fist at Seto, and crumpling the cards in that hand* O_O;; *just noticed the crumpled cards* DAAAAMMMNNN YOOOOUUUU, KAAAAIIIBBBBAAAAA!!! *is about to tackle Seto off the ledge, but Anzu tackles/glomps Yami, stopping him in his quest*

-

*Mokuba is trapped in that sadistic chamber in Pegsy's castle/summer cottage(when he should already be trapped in that equally sadistic card…)*

Mokuba: Brother…. You better save me, Seto… or else… or else…

Croquet: *pops his head into Mokuba's cell* Hm? *holds a microphone that is leading to some headset Seto is wearing while he is dueling outside on the tower thing*

Mokuba: *evil glare at Croquet, then grabs the mic* DAMN YOU, KAI-er… SETO!!!!

-

*in another out of order scene… still concerning the fight on the tower*

Seto: *watches as his Blue Eyes is melting, and has a weird daydream about Mokuba melting inside of it* O____o;; Moky…?(xD I hate that nickname)

Daydream Mokuba: *is getting more and more gooey* Help me, Seto….!! *is completely covered in goo before Seto even starts moving* Nooooooo!!! *sticks a fist out of the melting Blue-Eyes* DAMN YOU, BIG BROTHER!!!

Mini Daydream Seto: *running towards the melting mess* No, Mokuba!!! *turns around to face real Seto after noticing that Moky's already melted* DAMN YOU, MEEEE!!! *explodes from yelling*

Seto: N-noooo!!! NOOOOO!!! AHHHHH!!!! *runs around in demented circles*

Yami, who is in the real world: *blink* o.o;;; S-Seto…? If it matters that much, I don't HAVE to get your PS2 when I win….

Seto: *sobbing loudly and madly, while just about to fall off the ledge*

Joey: *still glaring angrily at the sun, while being blinded* DAMN YOU, KAIBA! YOU DIDN'T EVEN EVIL-LAUGH FOR MEEEE!!!!

~end the series of flashbacks~

Seto: *nods* Yeah, there are more, but I hate to brag.

Yami Malik: *tackles Seto to the ground* I have heard the votes, and they all say to DAMN YOU, KAIBA/BIG BROTHER/SETO/MEEEEEE!!!! And in the name of Ra, I, Sailor SenYen Rod, shall pu-erm, DAMN YOU, KAIBA!!!! *pulls out the Rod* Now, all WATCH as I jam this up Mr. Rich-Boy's Happy Place!!!!

((a/n- The funniest thing about that was that Word thought that it was an address and that little purple line appeared under those last couple of words XDDD It thought it was an ADDRESS!!! *cough* Okay, I'll stop now.))

Audience: *gasp to the max(echo max)*

[Warning- The Jamming of the Rod into Mr. Rich-Boy's Happy Place is too illicit, unlawful, despicable, depraved, immoral, corrupt, vile and, most of all, illegal to view on this station. Therefore, if you all wish to watch the Jamming of the Rod into Mr. Rich-Boy's Happy Place, you'll all have to catch it when it comes to video/DVD. You can order it now, along with a free crossdressing bodyguard, for only $$29.99! Yes, only $$29.99!!! But wait! If you call now, at this very moment, you can get both, PLUS a free naked Vash the Stampede for only $$19.99!! Yes, this is the chance of a lifetime! All, in all, that is a total value of $$60,000,000,129.98!! And yet, you can get it all for only $$19.99! CALL NOW!]

Seto: *in a coma in a corner of the girl's bathroom, while also suffering from internal bleeding and whip burns* x____x||| …….

Everyone else, save for Yami Malik: O_____O;;;; *emotionally scarred for life*

Yami Malik: *humming the tune to `We Built This City', while casually meandering offstage*

Yami: I…I guess that's it for this episode of The Yami and Ryou Show…

Ryou: Erm…. Right, right… see you all next time.

*they both shudder as the camera pans out*

((Remember…. Five reviews before I even THINK of updating… >.>;; Hopefully, no one will even review once, so I don't have to worry about that… xDD I'm joking{I think}… I'd update. But I must have five. O.o;; Unless I know it's worth it, I'm not even going to THINK about writing the next chapter for this. It's way too hard thinking up these things…))