Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Walking a Thin Line ❯ By a route obscure and lonely, ( Chapter 1 )

Contains: adult content, adult language, crude/dark humor, sensuality, sexuality, citrus (lemons), character bashing, hints of shounen-ai/yaoi, hentai perverseness and anything else that you read that I may have missed.

Dedicated to Sen and Ryoko. You two are always making me laugh; consider this pay back. XP *mwah* Love ya!

Genre: (dark/crude) Humor/Romance

Disclaimer: Yu-gi-oh! and all associated characters © 1996 KT. Chapter titles are excerpts from "Dreamland" by Edgar Allen Poe, © 188?

Summery: There's a thin line between love and hate, genius and insanity. Every cloud has a silver lining, every dog has his day, and when life hands you lemons…read them.

"Don't Let the Necessary Occur" is in no way related to this fic, although the same characters and lineage are used.

Walking A Thin Line

A Realm of Villainy PWP with a twist

Co-authored by Ishtar Griffin

By a Route Obscure and Lonely

(One)

How in the world do you deal with a relationship that you don't want to be in?

Most people cheat. And these two couples are no exception. Does anything good ever come out of cheating? I'm not going to answer that just yet.

Consider cheating a way to say that you don't want to be in the relationship, but you don't have the courage to say so. Or it could be saying that you're afraid to branch out and find what you want. Any way you look at it, cheating is, and always will be cheating.

So can you have your cake and eat it to? Is the grass always greener? Will I ever stop typing these proverbs and get on with the fic?

To walk the fence, to teeter between lust and need-that is walking a thin line.

****

They met every Friday.

Friday was the beginning of the weekend, and even though Saturday was a school day, to them the weekend still meant freedom. Especially for 8 very special young men-3 of them being yami, and invisible to two out of the other 5. It didn't really matter though, since most of the time those two were too busy at work to attend, so the three hikari and three yami would all sit around and drink and talk.

They called it the Dog Pound.

Yugi came up with the name. He said since women compared men to dogs, why not call it the Dog Pound? After 3 fights, a drunken brawl and a good, soul-cleansing cry, everyone finally agreed. The hikari and yami were close with each other, despite the events at Duelist Kingdom and Battle City, and everything else that followed. Who else understood that your invisible best friend lived inside of your Sennen Item and took over your body on occasion in order to terrorize the modern world? No one but these three. Well, there were two more, but one was old as dust, and the other one was a girl, and girls were strictly forbidden to be brought to the Dog Pound. That was the one, and only rule.

So here the hikari and yami sat on this fine morning, in Ryou's bedroom no less, drinking a fine pot of tea. Of course, this was Ryou's idea, as he reserved liquor only for the bedroom. Presently, Bakura and Yami no Malik (or Yami Malik) were having a very interesting conversation about the one thing Bakura just couldn't stand.

"Women who talk in bed," he hissed as his hikari drank his tea passively. He sat on the bed, Yugi on the floor at his feet, with books and assignments spread out everywhere. "I mean, what the fucking fuck is that?!" he screeched in annoyance. "Foreplay, ok. Cuddling afterwards, maybe. But talking during fucking-that is just fucking unnecessary."

"I agree," Ryou nodded, reaching for a brownie on the silver tray resting on his nightstand. "A little talking is ok, but it depends on how deep your relationship is."

"We're talking about a one night stand here," Bakura reported, glancing at his nails.

"That's all you ever have."

"Don't hate me because I don't want to be attached," he sneered indignantly. "I don't need a relationship aibou. I need sex." Bakura, over the course of 5000 years, had become something of a nymphomaniac.

"That's a shame," Yami no Malik laughed. "I don't need anything, but to hear the screams of those I've damned to their respective, bloody, and violent graves."

"That's just putting it mildly," Malik muttered, stretched out behind Ryou in an attempt to get some much-needed rest.

"Well, I just think that you make allowances for people in a relationship," the younger British boy put in, finishing off his brownie. "Malik, these are so good-thank your sister for me please."

"Why?" the Egyptian snorted. "I stole them-she doesn't know they're gone."

"They were for Grandma Ishtar," his yami growled, his eyes flashing.

Ryou swallowed, eyes wide. "Oh."

Bakura chuckled lightly. "Yami Malik doesn't like Grandma Ishy," he reported to any who were paying attention.

"How can you like a woman that won't die?!" he screeched angrily, causing his hikari to moan in exaggeration and turn over. "I've tried-count 'em darling-53 times to kill that woman, and 47 of them were violent. SHE WON'T DIE!!!!"

"Stubborn as an ass that one," Malik nodded, his periwinkle eyes half-lidded in slumber.

"Did you just call me darling?" Ryou blinked in disbelief.

"Hell no," Yami Malik snorted. "I was talking to my hikari."

Ryou shuddered, and poured himself more tea.

The conversation was always like this-randomly insane, usually focusing on women, sex and killing. Yugi attended only because Ryou was a good friend of his. Yami would throw in his two cents every once in a while, but for the most part he remained silent and listened. Yugi hardly ever paid attention to the conversation-none of them ever talked about anything worth talking about to him. So he just did homework until it was time to go.

"…Malik is a virgin," Ryou teased lightly, earning snickers from both their yami. Malik rolled his ¾-lidded eyes, and turned over, swearing at the Brit in Egyptian. This time the yami feel on the floor in howled laughter, and Yami-who had decided to join them not a minute earlier-blushed madly.

"What did you just call me?" Ryou demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"You wouldn't get it," he assured him, and drifted off into contented sleep.

Ryou hardly ever displayed his temper, and decided to let it go. Yami Malik busied himself plotting ways to kill Grandma Ishy-Bakura helped-and Yami helped his hikari with his homework. When the mood got like this-when it strained and everyone went off on their own-usually 5 words (really, women's names) brought them back together. Today he was going to try the newest one.

"Yugi-kun, how is Eden?"

The room fell silent.

All eyes were on the youngest, most innocent hikari of them all. Neither blood guilty, nor a fornicator-as Malik liked to term it-Yugi was the picture of pure virgin innocence. This earned him the names "freak" and "wanker" from the other two yami, who picked on him when there was nothing better to do. But Yugi was closest to Eden, who had just been elected into their "Hall of Algebra"-called so because of the motto: "You plus me, add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply." Ryou suggested that they change the name to "Hall of Desire," because that made a lot more sense. He was ignored.

There was something about Eden that was simply irresistible. There was something about the way her ebony hair framed her face, the way her skirt hugged her hips, the way she glared at you when you made lewd sexual comments at her. Isis was the same way, Mai too, and they were also members of their Hall, but Eden…There was just something about Eden that got them all…excited. In more than one way.

"Eden is fine," came the reply from the boy on the floor.

"We didn't ask how she looked dipshit," Bakura muttered. "We asked how she was. How is her state of being."

"She's still alive Bakura if that's what you mean," Yugi retorted passively.

"Gods I'd love to fuck her," Yami Malik expressed freely, his face becoming twisted insanely. "I mean, I bet she bleeds like a virgin. New…slick…wet…"

"Wonder if she touches herself," Ryou asked allowed.

"Well? Does she Yugi?"

The little boy refused to respond.

Yami no Malik frowned-he hated being ignored. But the Pharaoh would kick his ass, having the powers of Millennia locked into his Puzzle, so he just glared, and decided to trip him down the stares on the way out. Hopefully he'd break his beautiful little neck.

"She just looks too naughty to be pure," Ryou explained to no one in particular.

"Doesn't she though?" Bakura agreed readily. "I mean by the gods! How many times have you whacked off mentally just looking at her."

"342," his hikari responded calmly. "Oh wait, sorry. That's you."

Bakura knocked his hikari upside the head, who only laughed playfully in response.

"Isis is hot too," Yami Malik put in. Every boy in the Dog Pound had an obsession: Ryou had tea, Yugi had homework, Bakura had sex, Yami had his aibou. Yami no Malik had two: killing, and Isis. "I wonder what they'd look like if they kissed."

The three boys paused only a moment to picture it.

Suddenly Ryou moaned. "My gods, that'd be a gorgeous sight."

"I mean, those luscious, sweet mocha lips against Isis full, smooth ones," Yami Malik continued calmly. "Tongues colliding, brushing, meeting, touching. Exploring, clawing, moaning, groaning, scratches, groping, skin on skin…"

"Stop," Ryou whimpered pitifully. "You're giving me a stiffy."

"Likewise," Bakura nearly drooled, eyes glazed over in lust.

"…You three need lives," Malik announced sleepily, suddenly. "Stop fantasizing about my sister, especially with other women."

"Face it darling, your sister's hot," his yami boasted, stretching across the bed lazily. "Especially with other women."

"But she's not gay, and she won't have sex with Eden or you," he assured him readily. "That'd be like incest."

"Works for me," his counterpart grinned shamelessly.

"Would she have sex with Mai?" Ryou questioned, earning rowdy laughter from the other two. Mai was suspected to be a lesbian, her only male obsession being Joey, which made her a full-blown lesbian in their eyes. Not only that, but Malik was suspected to have a thing for the blonde, resulting in a lot of inside jokes among the only three sexually active males present. This being one of them.

Malik nearly crossed his beautiful eyes in anger. "I don't like her!" he denied for the millionth time. "She's too pale for me! Besides, she's not even pretty."

"Pussy has no face," Bakura reported expertly. Once again the room resounded in laughter.

Suddenly Yugi began to gather his things-very neatly, yet very swiftly. He packed them up, and before the boys could figure out what was going on, he and his yami were gone.

"What was with him?" Ryou blinked, staring at the empty space Yugi once resided in.

"…I think he's gay."

"He is not gay." Malik rolled his eyes again, and glared. "He just didn't want to hear you make such disrespectful comments about other women."

"How the hell do you know?" Bakura demanded.

"The rod," he snorted, pulling it out from under his pillow. "I could hear everything he was thinking."

Ryou arched a beautiful, well-sculpted eyebrow. "And?"

"He thinks we're all lonely and in need of women," he sighed heavily. "Which would explain why we all sit around and fantasize about other women, you three's promiscuous fornicating behavior, why our mouths are so dirty, why you all are so wild, and why Ryou's shoes never match his outfit."

Both yami snickered at the last, cheap shot.

"…Tell me Malik, darling," Ryou muttered calmly, pouring himself another cup of tea. "Do you masturbate? Because you're awfully perceptive for a virgin."

"…What the hell…?" Yami Malik honestly didn't get it.

"…Let me put it in terms that you simpletons can understand," the younger boy continued, his voice never faltering. "All you do is whine and complain about what we do-never once do I hear you talking about your sexual needs, or wants, or even women you like."

"I don't have any sexual needs or wants…!" Malik started angrily.

"Exactly. Which means you must toss off. Either that, or you're dead, you're not human, or…you're gay."

"Darling's not gay," Yami Malik laughed. "Trust me. I've come onto him-I'd definitely know."

"You're gay?" Bakura blinked. "You bastard…"

"I'm not gay," he chuckled evilly. "I'm bi curious."

"…I don't know what that means, but stay the hell away from me," Bakura warned. "And don't you dare stand next to me in a urinal, cause if I catch you looking down, I'll fuck your ancient Egyptian ass up."

The yami only laughed more.

"…You know who really is gay?" Ryou noted obliviously. "That Pharaoh."

"Oh yes," Bakura grinned evilly. "It's so obvious he's got a thing for his aibou."

"Yeah, but Yugi doesn't feel the same way," Malik noticed. "He doesn't even notice-he likes…Never mind who he likes. It's not important. And the Pharaoh isn't entirely gay. He's bisexual."

"I suppose you've read his mind as well?" Bakura guessed.

"Did you really think I was sleeping?" the Egyptian countered briskly.

"…Stalker," the yami muttered, blowing Malik a raspberry.

And they went on and on like this, just as they had always done. Ryou couldn't help but sigh as he listened to the laughter and bickering around him from his friends. Maybe they really were lonely, but at least they all had each other.

With another shudder from that recent realization, he poured himself more tea, and when no one was looking, added ample whisky to the drink.