Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Welcome To My Life ❯ I'LL GET YOU NET TIME, TOMB ROBBER! NEXT TIME! ( Chapter 5 )

No feature on what's gong on inside my head this chapter.

 

BFK: And here we have the next chapter. YAAAY!
Terra: Wahoo. We're all SOOOOO excited.
BFK: Well, maybe not YOU, but the reviewers are. :P
Terra: Yeah, yeah. Get on with it!

Disclaimer and such: 1st chapter….

 

 

“TERRA, LET ME GO! I CAN TAKE THIS IDIOT WITH MY EYES CLOSED! I'LL HAND HIM AN ASS-KICKING SUCH AS HE'S NEVER FELT BEFORE!”

 

“Kemisi, calm down!” I placed a hand on my yami's shoulder. It was clear to all of us that Kemisi and Josh's yami, Ialu, hated each other's guts. Josh and I were playing mediator, trying to keep the two from ripping each other apart. Of course, considering the fact that the second he had noticed Kemisi, Ialu had booted Josh out of his body to duel her, meaning that we were currently only spirits, it was hard.

 

“I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN ANY DAY, TOMB ROBBER!” There was a three-foot circle around the two of them, other than us two hikaris attempting to keep them from ripping each other apart. And I was getting tired of it.

 

“GODDAMIT, YOU TWO! GO AHEAD, DUEL! I'M TIRED OF TRYING TO STOP YOU!” I threw my hands up in the air and stepped out of the way. Josh rather quickly did the same.

 

“Alright, Ialu! I challenge you to a duel!” She said, her eyes flashing. I skittered into my room and dug out my Deck.

 

“Here ya go.” I handed it to her. She shuffled though my Deck-an Amazon one, by the way, and grinned evilly.

 

“I accept your challenge!” Ialu snapped, reaching into his pocket and pulling out Josh's deck. The two of them traded decks, shuffled and cut each other's, and handed them back. They sat down at my coffee table, glaring daggers at each other. “We start with 8,000 life points. Fair?” Ialu proposed. Kemisi nodded curtly. “Ladies first!” He grinned, and Kemisi gave him a flat look as she drew.

 

“Alright, buddy. Eat this! I summon Amazoness Swords Woman!” She placed the card down, and suddenly, a war cry sounded. Above the card, a ferocious Warrior woman in a fur bikini holding a huge sword appeared. (1,500/1,600) I wasn't surprised. A duel between two shadow magic users was bound to involve some shadow magic, and it was only being used to bring the cards to life. My friends, however, stared in awe at the miniature Swords Woman.

 

“…Cooool.” Josh said, voicing all of their opinions. Ialu snorted, and drew.

 

“I set one monster in defense mode, and end my turn.” He said. Kemisi grinned, drawing. She then set a monster, shrugging. “I don't think I'll attack. That card could have a flip effect, and I'm not stupid.”

 

“That's debatable.” Ialu replied, drawing. He grinned at his draw. “I summon Gearfried the Iron Knight, and switch my Giant Soldier of Stone to attack mode! Gearfried, attack her Amazoness Swords Woman!” Gearfried slashed his sword, and the Swords Woman screamed, shattering. However, Kemisi didn't loose Life Points-Ialu did. They dropped to 7,700, and he glared. “I'd forgotten about her effect… Oh well! Giant Soldier of Stone, destroy her facedown card!”

 

“Nice try!” Kemisi flipped over the card, revealing a Cyber Jar. Gearfried and Giant Soldier of Stone were sucked in, and then Cyber Jar exploded. “And now, we both draw five cards, and summon as many monsters of four stars or less as we can.”

 

She drew five cards, looking them over.

 

“I summon another Amazoness Swords Woman!” She stated.

 

A twin of the first Amazon appeared, brandishing her sword. (1,500/1,300)

 

“Amazoness Fighter!” She continued.

 

A very muscular woman in blue shorts and a bikini top with a ponytail appeared. (1,500/1,300)

 

“And, finally, Amazoness Paladin!”

 

Another female Warrior, this one with a white skirt and bikini top, a tattered cape, and wearing a golden tiara appeared, carrying a slim sword. (1,700/300)

 

“And by the way,” Kemisi mentioned, “Amazoness Paladin gains 100 extra Attack points for every Amazon I have on the field, including herself!”

 

The Paladin's attack rose to (2,000/300).

 

“Alright, tomb robber, I summon Alpha the Magnet Warrior!” A blocky, semi-humanoid form appeared above the card. It looked like a shiny silver robot, carrying a sword and a shield, with a crested helmet that had the image of a magnet on it. (1,400/1,700)

 

“Beta the Magnet Warrior!” This one was a cute yellow robot with magnets for hands and huge horns shaped like a magnet on his head. (1,700/1,600)

 

“And Gamma the Magnet Warrior!” This one was pink, blockier, and had large fists, feet, and wings. There was a big “S” on it's chest, a smaller “S” on it's right wing, and an “N” on it's left. (1,500/1,800)

 

“Sadly, I can't summon Valkyrion yet-I haven't drawn him. But rest assured, tomb robber, I will!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm terrified.” She said sarcastically. She drew, and the grin on her face widened. “I'd like to introduce you to the pet and protector of the Amazons. Meet my Amazoness Tiger!” A huge tigress appeared next to her two other Amazons and roared! (1,100/1,500). Amazoness Paladin's Attack rose to (2,100/800)

 

“And, of course, she gains 400 attack points for EVERY Amazon on the field-herself included!” Amazoness Tiger's Attack rose to (2,700/1,500). “Amazoness Tiger, destroy Beta!” The tigress lunged, and bit deep into Beta's neck. He shattered into pixels. Ialu's life points fell to 6,700. “But I'm not done! Amazoness Paladin, destroy Gamma!” The Paladin leapt forward, slashing Gamma in half. Ialu's Life Points fell to 6,100. “Now, Amazoness Fighter, destroy Alpha!” Ialu's life points fell again, this time to 6,000. “And now, Amazoness Swords Woman, attack his life points directly!” The Swords Woman grinned, and leapt up, slashing Ialu for 1,500 points of direct damage! His life points fell for a fourth time, to 4,500. The former priest grimaced. “I end my turn, and next one, I'll finish you!”

 

“I set a card in defense mode, and end my turn.” He said, sighing.

 

“Alright, Ialu.” She drew, and grinned evilly. “I summon the executioner of the Amazon tribe. Meet AMAZONESS CHAIN MASTER!” She put her card down, and a tall form appeared. It was a slightly muscular woman with long blonde hair, dressed in a bikini and boots made from fur. She held a long chain tipped with a nasty spiked grapple. (1,500/1,300) I grinned. I loved that card, considering her excellent effect. I got her out of a Shonen Jump magazine, to which I am a loyal subscriber. Amazoness Paladin's Attack rose to (2,200/800), and Amazoness Tiger's rose to (3,100/1,500). “Amazoness Fighter, destroy his facedown card!” It was Flame Manipulator. “Now, Amazoness Swords Woman, attack his life points directly!” Ialu's Life Points fell to 3,000. “Amazoness Swords Woman, do the same!” His LP fell to 1,500. “Now, priest, choose. Which one of my Amazons will wipe out the last of your life points? Paladin or Tiger? Choose quickly, or I'll choose for you.”

 

“Ummm…Paladin…” He stuttered out nervously.

 

“Alright then. Amazoness Paladin, DESTROY HIM!” The Paladin leapt up and slashed her sword. The last of Ialu's Life Points were depleted, and Josh's eye twitched.

 

“I'll get you next time, tomb robber! You'll see!” Ialu threatened. Kemisi rolled her eyes.

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She scooped up the last of her cards, and stepped back to give Josh room for his tirade.

 

And it came.

 

“YOU GOT YOUR ASS KICKED BY A BUNCH OF GIRLS! WHAT KIND OF WEAKLING ARE YOU?! I'VE BEATEN TERRA WITH THAT DECK SO MANY TIMES IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! AND YOU GO AND LOOSE? I COULD HAVE DONE BETTER THAN THAT!” He shouted. I sighed when Yami Yugi gave me an inquiring look.

 

“I suuuuck.” I said flatly. “The only person I've ever beaten is May, and she falls for the same strategy every time.”

 

“Yup.” May nodded.

 

“You'd think she'd catch on after the thirtieth time…” Lexi put in, rolling her eyes.

 

“Thirtieth? No one's that stupid.” Malik said.

 

“May is.” All us American said at the exact same time. Malik looked over at May for conformation. She sighed.

 

“I am.” She nodded. Had we been in their world, I'm certain all three boys (Yami Yugi, Malik, and Yami Bakura) would have anime fallen. (1)

 

A little while later…

 

 

“Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, duck! Llama, llama, cheesecake, llama, tablet, brick, potato, llama, llama, llama, mushroom, llama, llama, duck! I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake, but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake! I was only three years dead, but it told a tale, and now listen, little child, to the safety rail! Did you ever see a llama, kiss a llama, on the llama, llama's llama, tastes of llama, llama, llama, duck! Half a llama, twice the llama, not a llama, farmer, llama, llama in a car, alarm a llama, lama, duck! Is this how it's told now? Is it all so old? Is it made of lemon juice, doorknob, ankle, cold? Now my song is getting thin, I've un out of luck! Time for me to retire now, and become a duck!”

 

Ryou and I, in spirit form, sat off to the side, sweatdropping. Somehow, Kemisi and Yami Bakura had gotten into my sugar supply, and were now dancing around crazily, while singing the Llama Song. “Note to self: never let Kemisi and Bakura anywhere near sugar. If all else fails, use heavy textbooks.” I muttered.

 

“We have to wonder…how do they know the llama song in the first place?” Isun asked.

 

“A question for the ages.” Josh said, nodding.

 

“Well, I can explain Kemisi…but Bakura?” I raised an eyebrow.

 

“Ano, she probably taught him or something.” Malik said, shrugging.

 

“I don't want to waste perfectly good brain cells thinking about it.” Lexi shrugged it off. “I'd rather put them to the task of laughing my head off at those two on sugar high.”

 

“Agreed.” And thusly, much of the rest of the day was spent laughing at the various dumb things said/done by Kemisi and Bakura on sugar-high. And believe me, there was some good stuff, all of which may be detailed later. Depends on whether I need blackmail or not.

 

 

 

BFK: I know, I know, short, but #1: I'm lazy, and #2, I wanted to get this up before I was seized by the evils of writer's block. By the way, I have a tentative working title for the sequel: A Thousand Miles. This is simply the working title, nothing is definite yet.