Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ When It Hurts The Most ❯ Why are you doing this? ( Chapter 1 )

Ryou looked at the envelope, in his trembling hands fearfully. He shook his head, eyes wide and afraid of what he knew was written inside. "No..." He whispered, as slowly, reluctantly he opened the offensive envelope to read what he knew would scribed neatly within.

- - Dear Ryou, - -

I will be coming to visit you this Thursday; I hope you will have the appropriate preparations made. It has been over two years since my last visit to my favorite grandson.

Sincerely,

Your Grandfather, William

- - P.s. I'm looking forward to some true quality time with you Ryou.

- -

Ryou shook his head, "No...n-no!" He could feel his eyes begin sting and his throat to burn as he crumpled the letter and threw it across the room, as though it were the most offensive thing he'd ever laid hand or eye on. Now, most people would be GLAD to see a relative they hadn't seen in over two years...but Ryou, Ryou had a good reason not to want to see his grandfather. He slowly, weakly and hopelessly sank onto the couch, pulling his legs to his chest and holding in the sobs, which threatened to wrack his small body. "I...I don't want...I...I can't..." He whispered, shaking his head as his mind drifted back to the beginning...to the root of the problem.

~~~~~

Ryou giggled as he worked in the sandbox, to build that dream castle that dragons always seemed to hold princesses hostage in. He was a small child of seven, dreams still evident in the glow of his bright chocolaty eyes. His soft snowy hair fell just past his shoulders and his small delicate form was much unlike other boys of his age. He was feminine, and beautiful. He had, by a fluke of genetics on his mother's side of the family, been born with pale skin that appeared to be the finest cream, soft hair of snow and an aura of innocence. His father's side of the family only seemed to have contributed the deep dream-filled eyes of melted chocolate.

Ryou giggled and patted the mound of sand that was his castle, before picking up a plastic crocodile. "GRRR!!" He squeaked while shaking it lightly. "This is MY castle! ROAR!! An, I'm gonna gobble up that stupid lil' knight if he tries to save the princess! Because he's a stupid-head!" Ryou giggled and clapped before picking up a small green plastic army man, which was to play the noble knight. "You mean ol' dragon! I'm gonna save the princess an kick your stupid butt! I'm gonna poke ya with my stick an you're gonna go away!!" He said ramming the two plastic figures together, symbolizing a fight.

Little Ryou couldn't have been prepared for what would happen to him that day. He was merely seven after all, but his grandfather had been watching him. He watched the boy intently, something struck him deep inside. Ryou was so young...so innocent...so beautiful. He couldn't help himself, couldn't help his mind wandering to what it might feel like to hold that innocence...to take it...to have it only for himself. He shivered at the thought of it. Something just seemed naughty and yet so right...so wonderful to think of Ryou that way. He watched the young boy play. He wasn't like the other boys at seven.

Ryou was soft-spoken and gentle, unlike the brash rough and tumble boys that dwelt in other households. They would pick on Ryou, call him a girl or shove him into the dirt for not trying to compete. Ryou didn't mind, he knew that they just didn't know any better. Something about that made William shudder and love Ryou. He knew it wasn't right to think of such a small child that way...but...the thought of his small innocent body coated in a small sheen of sweat...

~~~~~

Ryou shook terribly and cried into his knees. "No...No...Please God..." he whispered, remembering that night. Remembering how his grandfather had betrayed his trust...violated him that night. He made Ryou promise never to tell, saying 'what we're going to do is ok, but you're not to tell anyone!' Ryou sobbed and shook his head, pounding his fists into the shins that he hugged to himself, not caring about the pain that began to radiate from the abused area of his legs.

Violent images...they were scenes one would only see in a horrible nightmare of the worst sort. His grandfather...undressing him, telling him everything was ok...then forcing himself on the small innocent boy. He'd never taken Ryou's virginity...thank God...but he may as well have, it would not have hurt less. Ryou felt his stomach churn as he felt the urge to dash to the bathroom and throw up grow. He was hiccupping and shaking violently. "N-no..." Hic. "I...I don't want to..." He whispered as the images passed through his mind.

~~~~~

Ryou shook his head and cried. It had been three years since he had been innocent and seven. He was ten now, alone with his grandfather. "P-please...d-don't make me...." He pleaded backing away from the older man. "I...I don't w-want..." Ryou felt his back press against the cool wall, and could only look fearfully at his grandfather. "Please...I...I don't want to..." He whispered as his grandfather drew dangerously close. "Shh...You don't need to be afraid my pet..." The elder whispered back, tracing Ryou's fine featured face with a finger, before cupping his hand and tilting his face up to meet his. Ryou shook his head lightly. "P-please...don't..." He said, as a tear slid down his cheek.

~~~~~

Ryou was sobbing and trying to keep himself under control; he forced himself up and shakily walked down the hall. He used the wall as a support as he weakly and emotionally walked to the bathroom. He didn't want to, but if he had to throw up...he knew he wouldn't be able to run in the state he was in.

~~~~~

Ryou cried and tried to fight away from his grandfather as the elder ripped the small 13 year old's clothes away and pinned him to the sofa. "Please...stop!" He sobbed, to the ever deaf ears of his grandfather. "Hush sweet angel, you will enjoy this...." He whispered forcing a kiss on Ryou. Ryou shook his head and sobbed more. He never enjoyed it...why? Why did his grandfather...why did he do this to him? How is it that his Father hadn't figured out what was going on? He closed his eyes and tried to will himself away from his grandfather's actions...his horrible assault. It never worked...but Ryou simply wasn't as strong...he couldn't defend himself. He was defenseless and vulnerable to his grandfather's every whim.

"Sweet Ryou...every year you grow and become more and more beautiful..." Ryou looked with fear filled chocolate eyes at his grandfather. "Please...don't..." He whispered hopelessly. No matter how much he pleaded...every year it was the same...ever since it had started. "Ryou, you always do this...but you can't fool me..." Ryou sighed. Somewhere in his mind, the sweet pale boy's grandfather had formulated that Ryou ENJOYED the torture he was subjected to every year. "Please...I don't want to..."

~~~~~

Ryou looked in the mirror, as he picked up a toothbrush and put toothpaste on it. He was still shaking and slightly paler than usual, his mouth still tasted of the acidic vileness of his vomit. He hunched over as a second wave of illness wracked his body, he quickly put the toothbrush down and fell back to the floor in front of the toilet.

~~~~~

He was so vulnerable...laying there naked in front of his grandfather. "Please!! D-don't!" He begged tugging at the belt that bound his hands to the headboard. Tears stung his face and his voice was cracking and rasping from the force put into his helpless pleas. "Grandfather...please! I...I'll do anything....just please!" He said avoiding eye contact with the older. He was 15 now...15 and still at the mercy of the older. Ryou tried to sit up, but winced when the belt dug into his wrists and laid back down when his grandfather shoved him. "Shh boy!" He hissed beginning to undress as well.

Ryou sobbed uncontrollably and shook his head. "No!! Please! Stop!" He begged, his throat was raw from his begging and it wasn't getting him anywhere. He gasped and turned away when he felt his grandfather's nude flesh lay next to his. "P-please....stop...I don't want to..." He whispered coughing and wincing. "You wouldn't be in such pain right now my sweet pet, if you hadn't pitched such a fuss."

Ryou once again, felt alone and betrayed. His grandfather caressed his body, used him. Sucking him, pinching him, scratching him, forcing him to return 'favors', and kissing him...it was all so hell ridden. But each time, as horrible, violating, and nightmarish it was...he was left a virgin. Left, to pull the pieces of his life back into a beautiful dream, a dream, that once a year-every year, would be shattered. Leaving the poor innocent boy to cry over the broken hopes and shattered dreams of his childhood.

~~~~~

Ryou gasped for breath and forced himself away from the sink, satisfied his mouth didn't taste of stomach acid anymore. He had Bakura now...but he didn't know. He didn't know the truth...Ryou and his father had moved from England to Japan, it had been two years since his grandfather...had last. The ring had been given to him, just shortly before they left. Of course Ryou was thrilled to leave, sad because he'd miss his friends...but finally...his grandfather wouldn't ever see him again!

Ryou stumbled dumbly back to the den, staring at the small paper ball on the floor. "I...I can't do this again...I can't..." He whispered sliding down the wall and shaking his head. It was like someone had sucked all the joy and happiness from his being. You have not met true misery, until you know it is coming...and you can do NOTHING to stop it.