Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yami Bakura: Advice Giver ❯ Yami Bakura's first letters ( Chapter 2 )

Alright time to write first chapter that has advice! [cracks fingers]

Me: Ok Yami Bakura, time to work..

Bakura: Goody..

Me: [hands him letter]

Dear Yami Bakura,
My friend is a complete and utter moron. She is my age and has the mental capability of a 3 year old. Anyway My finals are coming up and she wants to study with me. As I said before she's an idiot. Should i try to help her and get sure headaches? or do I ditch the dork on the side of the road?
Sincerly,
-Anna

Bakura: [reads it over and over, snickering while typing]

Dear Anna,

I'd leave your friend! Geez, 3 year olds are buggers! Ditch her, she deserves it, but instead of the side of the road, leave her in the middle.

Yami Bakura

-------

Bakura: Ok, next letter!

Me: Okey Dokey! [hands him another letter]

Dear Yami Bakura,
How do i get my very annoying sister to shut up in a NONvoilent way??

Bakura: o-O [begins to write]

Dear (insert name here),

There IS a non-violent way?

Yami Bakura

------------

Bakura: This is fun! This is like my payment!

Me: .... Uh.. Here's another letter.. [hands Bakura letter]

Hikari: Dear YB,
My Yami is a Pain, but has a crush on someone. What black-mail advice do you have for me?
-Yuki
Yami side: Hey Yami Bakura!
What do you do when your Hikari is about to black-mail you?
-Yawi

Bakura: hmm.. [begins writing]

Dear Yuki,

You have a yami? Really? What Millenium item do you possess?!?!?! Err.. I mean.. Black-mail is childish unless you really need it.. Send her to the Shadow Realm!

Dear Yawi,

Hi.. When a dumb Hikari [glaring at Ryou]

Ryou: What?

Bakura: [continues writing] When a dumb Hikari is about to black-mail you, send him/her to the shadow realm! OR Throw big hard things at her, whatever works best!

- Yami Bakura

---

Bakura: I'm such a good person!

Me: [mumbling] yeah.. in psychoville..

Bakura: What was that??

Me: Nothing! Here's another letter! [gives Bakura letter]

Dear Ultimate Prince of Evil (Yami Bakura),
My "friend" really likes someone who is a little evil. She knows he's morally wrong, but she loves him anyway. She refuses to tell him, and I keep threatening to take her to the Shadow Realm. What should I do, honored evil prince?
Sami
P.S. Can I call you Baku? TuT

Bakura: Foolish mortals..

Dear Sami,

Well dumb mortals can't send other dumb mortals to the ShadowRealm, only people with Millenium items can do that. That and I hate people, so she has noooooooooooo chance with me. EVER! I'm psychic, that and for some weird reason, every other evil person is in the ShadowReal- I mean gone! Anyway, tell your `friend' to find someone else. Tell her to bother Ryou with her love! And NO YOU CAN'T CALL ME BAKU!

Yami Bakura

----

Bakura: I'm good at this!

Ryou: I love love! Love, Love, Love, Love is all you need!

Me: Well, until Yami Bakura gets more mail, [cough] or a shrink [cough] bye bye for now!

Ryou: I love the world!