Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ You Already Have a Valentine ❯ Doubts ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Bakura stretched his arms above his head, and then dropped them limply to his sides again. The sky above was bright with starlight and the moonshine gave a hazy, glistening sheen to all it touched. In this half-light the shadows seemed denser and more foreboding, the clouded future a frightening enigma.

He sighed, and the soft sound was lost in the night around him. As his fluttering eyes shut, Bakura saw the image of Ryou as he had seen him last, heavy breaths rising and falling, a calm, beautiful look across his beautiful face, and he sighed again. He wanted Ryou. Given time, perhaps he could love Ryou. When it really came down to it, he would do nearly anything for the boy. Despite all this, something felt wrong. It felt like the glass treasure he had wanted, that he had saved for, was here in his hands, but it would vanish. Being perfectly honest with himself, he would admit it was not all he had expected. Something was missing. Above all, however, he knew it could vanish with the moonlight, or break in the slightest breeze. Within his soul, he felt the stirrings of fear, and the feeling that perhaps when he did loose it, he would not be as sad as he ought to, for he no longer wanted the treasure so badly now that he had it.

He would never be whole without it.

With a glare for the mystical moon laughing hysterically at his trivial troubles, troubles the immortal moon had seen many times before, Bakura reentered the house, letting the door close quietly behind him. He would go back upstairs and cuddle with Ryou, and any doubts remaining would vanish. Only the hesitancy of something so new made him question - after all, Ryou was perfect, exactly what Bakura needed, and Bakura would never hurt him.

He slammed a fist against his thigh, throwing his anger, his frustration, and his fear into that one focal point. It hurt like hell, but provided a nice distraction. These thoughts were irrelevant; they didn't need consideration.

His train of thought was effectively interrupted. Bakura had been about to head upstairs again when he saw the boy curled on the couch, sleeping lightly, tear streaks and red cheeks still marking his pale face.

Bakura pulled Ryou into his lap, stroking the boy's hair and face absentmindedly, holding him tight. As he pressed the small body to him, he knew the comfort was more for himself that the sweet boy in his lap. Rocking back and forth, wishing he could soothe all these problems away, Bakura found an old Egyptian lullaby on his lips. With no recollection of his own mother, or very much of his previous life at all, he didn't know where the words or lilting tune came from, but he could feel the immediate comfort it brought, the soft contentment seeping through his bones. As the boy huddled against him stirred, snuggling closer, the threat of impending doom vanished.

The anxiety and the expectation that anything good would be taken away could be leftovers from his ill fated past life before he was locked into the ring. Maybe now he could find a normal life, a happy life. The thought of living like this, as if nothing else mattered despite the millions of things that happened every day, pretending that nothing mattered except for the sheltered little life he lived with Ryou - it would have appalled him mere months ago. By now, however, Bakura had given up on his quest for power and domination by now, and the peace of forgetting about anything but the fallen angel in his lap appealed to him. The soft tune he sang gradually died out, and he scooped up Ryou and carried him upstairs.

Ryou buried himself deeper into Bakura's arms, clutching at his clothes, but didn't wake. Bakura recalled the way Ryou had been sleep talking this morning, but he tried to ignore the hentai fantasies it brought to mind. Ryou needed his sleep. Still, Bakura groaned, feeling the way Ryou's lithe body fit against his. There were a number of reasons why he ought to put the boy back in his own room, but Bakura wanted to be there when Ryou wake, just in case.

Holding the warm body in his arms as he drifted to sleep, Bakura wondered why being with Ryou was so different, kissing Ryou was so different, wanting Ryou was so different than it had been with anyone else. Why did this one innocent, obnoxious person mean so much to him?

***

Ryou knew he was dreaming, but it felt so real. Peering through the damp mists, he could make out the shadowed shape of some figure, walking forward and away from Ryou. Knowing this man was what he searched for, Ryou followed. Scrambling across the sharp stones underfoot, barefoot, naked shivering, Ryou felt the ground tugged out from under him more than once, and the harsh gravel and debris injuring his vulnerable body. Shoving himself from the ground, he tried to stand, climbing across the rocks again, and weak and gasping, sure he would loose sight of the figure any moment. He fell a second time, and crawled across the ground barely able to push himself up. Each limb felt so unbearably heavy, pulling him down to embrace the frigid earth, but he pushed up from it, pulled against the gravity, hastening after the retreating figure.

Almost abreast of the figure he shadowed, Ryou stopped. The ground fell away into an endless abyss, stones clattering over the edge, echoing, and then the sound faded. Some vague sense that he only imagined these sounds that were not here at all remained.

The figure still pulled away through the mists, and just when Ryou thought he would disappear, he turned. With sudden clarity Ryou could make out each of Bakura's features, the brown eyes tinged with the scent and colour of old blood. Bakura shook his head and Ryou knew that the spirit was telling Ryou not to follow. The Bakura turned and strode through the mists, walking on air, and disappeared. With an anguished cry, and knowing the action entirely insensible, Ryou flung himself from the precipice, falling, unable to feel the frozen wind rushing past. He fell and fell through the eternal blackness...

With a jolt, he fell into his own body and attempted to sit up, only to realize Bakura's arms draped about him made it nearly impossible. Ryou snuggled back into the embrace, but when he finally slept, it was not soundly and the alarm jarred him from his sleep scant hours later.

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*yawn* I need to go take a shower...my brother woke me up at like seven, and it's an effin' Saturday morning!

Eh, sorry. Well, I hope this met with your satisfaction, and I thank you for any reviews. The next chapter should be up shortly - I'm feeling rather inspired with this story. ^_^ (Sadly, I still like death threats...is it any wander my favourite characters are Marik, Bakura, and Seto?)

Btw, sorry for any OOC-ness, especially with Ryou. I've kind of made Ryou into me - crybaby, often talks before he thinks, embarrassed easily, a little masochistic. With Bakura, it is partially intentional that he should be different. After all, Ryou's changed him.