Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ You Make Me Sick ❯ Dilemma ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5 "Dilemma."

Author notes: Usually, when I read the reviews of this fic, they're really nice and uplifting. I said I was open to constructive criticism but when I read a review of chapter 3, it wasn't criticism, but a flame. If there's something I did wrong, please let me know kindly. Here's the review and my response. And to everyone else, sorry about Bakura being on the power trip, but that's how I felt his character feels in the fic. I apologise for any confusion. The "review" was from Shar. K:

No No No No this can not be happening! y in the name of God did u hav to write this yaoi but intriguing piece of work?! damn, i hate yaoi and now i hate yami yugi too. listen, i dont care if this was fake cuz wat u wrote will be forever burned into my mind and whenever i feel yami bakura's kiss (daydream) i'll think of wat i read here and be utterly disgusted and unclean. u violated my fav bishie damnit! and btw, yami bakura does not follow orders from ryou and they r not allowed to split apart from each other in the physical realm, only in the shadow realm, got it?! psh.

Sasha J: First of all, it says YAOI in big fat letters in the summary. If you didn't want to read it, then DON'T! It's not my fault you hate it or if you hate Yami. You didn't *have* to read this fanfiction. And you should care that this is fake because if you haven't noticed, this is FANFICTION, and that means I can write what I want and it's *your* choice to read it. If you think it's utterly disgusting and unclean, that's nice for you. Don't come sounding off on me forcing your opinions on me because I don't respond well to it. Again, I'll say it once more: If you don't like Yaoi, or the fact of Bakura with Yami or the way I chose to write the story, DON'T READ IT! It's just that simple. And for what you said about Bakura and orders from Ryou? There wasn't any order. Ryou simply asked Bakura to go in the basement and get something for him. In no way was that an order, but a request. And in response to what you said about the separation in the physical realm? I'll do what I please since it's my fanfiction, and I have creative control over the elements. And Shar K, you make me sick…would it kill you to learn how to spell? To everyone else that reviewed: thank you very much and I'm sorry you had to read this.

AN2: Okay, now I'll explain why Yami doesn't remember that it was he that hurt Bakura all those millennia ago. When the Pharaoh used his powers to seal the power of the Shadow Game in the Millennium (Sennen) Items, and he was sealed in the Puzzle, all his memories of ruling the world and whatnot were erased. So that's why his admirable qualities, such as leadership, courage and confidence are present in Yami Yugi. Sorry again for this entire author note rampage and stuff. Heh, all the mental fighting is because I've been watching M. Night Shyamalan movies…expect this chapter to move a little fast.

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Three days later…

I don't understand what's going on anymore. It's like I'm living some sort of dream-no wait, it's more of a nightmare now. Bakura has all but avoided me, and it was quite a feat considering we were in such close quarters. Which could not have been worse for me, since I wanted some answers. I wanted to know what the hell was going on and why. There's a reason for everything and I want to know what the reason behind this is. He's giving me the distinction that it's my entire fault. But how the hell is it? I don't remember what I did in the recent past to make him hate me this much.

The only words he's said to me are `get out of my way' and `shut up'. Every time I try and get some answers out of him, he shells away and leaves me in the dark. I don't understand what I did to him that's making him act this way. I know he's always hated me, but never did I think it was with such passion. The hate in his eyes seems to be exemplified ten fold when he now looks at me. And I don't know why.

It's been six days since we were locked in this basement. Just when I thought we were going to get along three days ago, I get smacked in the face practically. There is absolutely no way to describe my confusion. But it's been going on long enough. I want answers. And I want them now. Bakura was currently sitting across the room from me on one of the couches. He stared up at the ceiling with almost hateful eyes. Now he may not be one of my close friends, but he is the Yami of one of my closest friends, so if there's something wrong, I want to know what it is. It's been bugging me; why he's been acting so hateful.

Other than Bakura's odd behaviour, there's been something else that's been annoying me. I've been getting small flashes of images from what feels like a long time ago. Images of hands clasping one another, touching a face, hateful eyes after something went wrong…what was the meaning of these images? After circling the recliner, I promptly sat down on it and pondered more about these images. They seemed so familiar. But why is question that I don't think I'll be able to remember just yet.

But I have to remember. I'm not just one to throw these images off as just some weird dream. I won't do that because these images have come to me when I'm wide-awake. They give me a sense of immense guilt. Like something in these images was my fault…that I caused pain and suffering. Sighing, I put my face in my hands and sighed. This is ridiculous, Yami. What are you thinking about? All of this could not come at a worse time. Bakura looks like he's about to kill me, and now I'm feeling guilty for some weird images that don't explain anything to me. Someone up there must really hate me.

Suddenly I winced, a familiar yet strange feeling coming over me. I felt slightly woozy, yet perfectly fine. My vision slightly blurred as I slightly groaned. It was that feeling…

**FLASH**

"Why do you care so much what they think?"

"I need acceptance…"

**FLASH**

"Please don't be mad with me…"

"How can I not? You still think low of me! I thought you were better than that!"

"I am, please, forgive me…"

"I don't know if I ever can…"

**FLASH**

"I'm sorry, but we can't be together, it's too risky."

"What the hell do you mean, too *risky*?!"

**FLASH**

"I love you."

"You know how much I love you…and your beautiful eyes."

**FLASH**

"What would they say if they found out? … That a tomb robber was in love with the Pharaoh of Egypt…?"

**FLASH**

My eyes widened, as I felt cold sweat running down my face. These images…they were so much more clearer than the last ones. These ones I had heard words, and they chilled me right to the bone. I could hear my own voice…and someone else's. I…had done something terrible before…but to who? Shakily I took a breath, and wiped the cold sweat from my face. Those were the most riveting images to date. They scared me more than that kiss from Bakura-Bakura! Something in the tone of the other voice reminded me of him.

What the hell was going on here? I know one of the voices was me, but the other voice I'm not so sure. We were close, I could tell that much. But from what I gathered from these recent images, I had done something wrong. Something horribly wrong was my fault. But what was it? And whom did I hurt?

I looked over at Bakura, who was now sitting upright and running a hand through his hair. Slowly I ran my tongue over the top row of my teeth and sighed. This was going to be tough, but there wasn't anything that was going to quell these fears other than finding out what happened. But would Bakura even know anything about what I would be telling him? It was a chance I would have to take. I got up and walked over to him. He looked up with those hateful eyes and I forced myself to look somewhat brave. "Bakura."

"Yami," he said simply, the dislike dripping from his smooth voice.

Giving a little sigh, I sat down a little bit to the side of him. My forearms were resting horizontally on my thighs, my head slightly bent. Turning my head, I looked at him. "What did I do to you to make you hate me this much? It can't not be just because of my present attitude."

He snorted. "Do you expect me to spill the beans to you so quickly, Yami?"

I bristled defensively. "This is exactly what I am talking about, Bakura! What have I done to you that is bad enough for you to hate me with such passion?" Before he began to speak again, I continued. "I didn't come over here to start a fight with you. I wanted to ask you about something."

"Well then, fire away o' great Yami," Bakura said sarcastically. When he was this infuriating, I just wanted to smack him upside the head exceedingly hard.

I shot him a glare to try and make him understand I wasn't joking, but it didn't seem to work so well. In order for this to even have the slightest chance of working, I would have to ignore all the sly insults and attempts of losing my temper. "I've been getting these flashes of images from a long time ago…"

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "That's what you wanted to come and tell me?"

"There's more you idiot!" I snapped, surprising him a little. Clenching my fists, I told him about the most recent images and blinked as the expression on his face changed from sceptical to shock. "What's the matter, Bakura? Your face…it's so white. You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"You weren't supposed to remember," Bakura whispered, clenching his fist. I noticed that on his left hand there were really light pink marks, the size of his nails. "I was supposed to make you remember…you shouldn't have remembered on your own…"

"What are you talking about, Bakura?" I questioned lightly, blinking confusedly. "What wasn't I supposed to remember on my own? Don't you start talking in riddles now."

Bakura ignored the last comment and continued to clench and unclench his fist. "It's just like you to pull something like this. Even back then it was the same. I thought it would be different in this age."

Growing frustrated and increasingly curious, I poked his shoulder. Suddenly he snapped out of his trance and stared at me. "I really hate to break up your inner turmoil, but could you possibly explain to me what I wasn't supposed to remember?" At first, he didn't respond, and I poked him again. "Bakura!"

Suddenly, something snapped inside of him and he stood up and pointed at me. "You were supposed to feel the pain first-hand from me, Yami," Bakura said, his voice a cross between angry and crazed. I stared up at him, my eyes wide and confused. "You were supposed to suffer and feel like a failure like I had!"

"Bakura, calm down," I feebly advised, standing up as well. "There's no need for this. I'm sure we can calmly discuss-"

"Where was this calm when you panicked and called your guards on me?" Bakura suddenly demanded and I froze, blinking at him in shock. "Where was this calm when you threw me into the dungeon because you couldn't be a man and take chances! Where the hell was that calm then, Yami?!"

My mouth opened and closed several times before anything coherent could come out. My mind was racing at unbelievable speeds, with the information Bakura had just thrown at me, coupled with the link that it had to my visions to the past. "Oh Ra…" I said hoarsely, my voice shaking with the realisation. "It was you in those visions…"

Bakura's face had darkened with anger and hurt and he glared at me. "I'm glad you finally realise this, Yami. I'm glad you finally realised what you did. Don't feel so great and powerful now, do you? This wasn't the way I wanted it to come out. I wanted you to be at my mercy, and I wanted you to feel the pain just like I had, but worse." My breathing became erratic, and Bakura's steely gaze bore into my soul. "I wanted you to feel what it was like to be treated like shit. I wanted you to feel how it was to be a failure!"

It seemed like I had lost all my motor skills, standing there like a virtual mannequin, void of any clear thought or speech. Bakura's dark eyes held mine in a tight lock, and I wanted so badly to break away, but I couldn't. For the first time, I was powerless…truly powerless. There wasn't anything I could do to remedy the situation. I knew it, and Bakura certainly knew it. I lowered my head. "I don't know what to say," I whispered hoarsely. "In my past life I have wronged you, Bakura-"

"You did far worse than just wronged me, Yami!" Bakura interrupted, the anger in his eyes flaring. "What you did was far worse…you tore me apart, you made it seem that I could not amount to anything but a lowly tomb robber! I wasn't worthy enough to deserve the affections of the great Pharaoh! I was truly happy with you back then Yami. But you were a coward…you were a Goddamned coward and couldn't stand to take the chance! All that mattered to you is what your guardians thought. And what they thought became what you thought. And that's when you stripped me down to nothing, Yami."

Swallowing, I gathered up enough courage to speak. "It probably doesn't matter what I say now to you. You've made up your mind…you hate me and you have good reason. Bakura, in my past life I was arrogant, paranoid, and yes, a coward. I had the best thing in the world in that life, and I squandered it away in fear of what others would think. I didn't have the courage to take the chance. Nothing I can say now will remedy what happened all those millennia ago. But maybe now I can make amends."

Bakura's gaze hardened, then softened, but hardened up again. He seemed to be debating with himself on whether or not to give me a chance to speak again. "It's not like I can stop you from talking," he muttered.

I brightened slightly, as this was about as close as I would get to acceptance from him. It gave me the strength and the will to continue on my train of thought. "I had no right to do what I had done to you in my past life. But that is not what I am like now. No longer am I selfish, arrogant, or a coward. I admit to my mistakes, and what I did to you was a grave mistake. No one should put their heart on the line you had done and have it squashed." I walked closer to him, and to my surprise, he didn't move. "What I did as Pharaoh destroyed you. It turned you into the cold-hearted person you were today. All I can do is admit my mistakes and ask for your forgiveness."

His strong will to hate me and not listen to what I was saying was faltering, as the hard gaze softened a little bit more. Bakura was struggling to keep himself from breaking down. To him it would mean that he was pathetic. It was just the way he was, even I knew that. I stood there staring into his dark eyes, waiting my `judgement' so to speak. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you, Yami."

Becoming braver and braver as his resistance was fading, I moved closer and intertwined the fingers of his right hand with my own. "It's harder to have faith in someone and forgive them than to dismiss them…but I am asking for your forgiveness…" Moving closer still, my body pressed gently against his. "And a chance to redeem myself in your eyes…"

Quietly, and just barely, I heard his response, "I forgive you, love…"

-TBC-

Author notes: ^___^ Happy stuff! I hope you guys enjoyed this, it was emotionally draining to finish this chapter, but I did it! *does a happy dance* Please review and let me know what you think! Sorry about any confusion I may have caused ^^; …