Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-Gi-Oh Behind The Scenes! ❯ Night of the living vending machines?! Part 1 ( Chapter 4 )

Episode 4: Night of the living vending machines?? Part 1

"Ahhhh!" cried Honda. "Where did the beer mobile go?"

He got to his feet and frantically looked around for the Budwiser truck.

"Damn them!" he yelled. "I wanted to go back to bikini land!"

"Will someone please call me an ambulance?!" screamed Jounouchi.

Everyone was ignoring poor Jou while he was in great pain. He was begging walking by workers to get him an ambulance and yet they ignored him.

"Ya ya, after I call the Side Kick Corporation I'll get your stupid ambulance," called Yugi who was looking over a list of available side kicks. "Hmmmm………this one sounds perfect."

While Jounouchi whimpered in pain nobody noticed that Anzu was squished into the ground like a pancake from the passing by Budwiser truck in the pervious episode. A worker was passing by and he stepped right onto her.

"Hmmm……comfy. Oy, Chris, we finally got our new door mat!" he called to his friend.

"Alright! I can finally stop using Yami's costumes!" Chris cried happily. "Let's take it outside; its starting to rain and people will be having muddy feet."

Chris went over to his friend and they both took one end of the pancake Anzu and carried her off.

"Help me…….." squeaked the pancake Anzu.

Yugi, having heard Anzu, replied, "Alright Jounouchi! I know you want attention but whining about it won't help! I'll call you're ambulance in a minute!"

Little did Yugi realize Jounouchi managed to go to a pay phone and call for one; they arrived and took him away ten minutes ago.

Meanwhile with Bakura.

"Ok……..this is gonna be tough……"

Bakura is lying on the floor with a small tool kit beside him; he is trying to repair his mind eraser that Honda stupidly destroyed.

"Hmmmm……..what does this wire do?" he asked himself.

He used a pair of pliers and tugged at a purple cord. He then snipped it. Crickets chirped as the room remained silent. Nothing happened.

"……..Ok………..I don't see the point of this wire," said Bakura. "So lets move on. Once I get this fixed I'll be sure to make it stronger so Honda will suffer brain damage if he gets his hands on this again."

While Bakura was tending to his mind eraser, the sound of scraping metal moving echoed through the empty filming room.

**

"Yami! Get your butt out of that trailer!" yelled the director. "You can't stay in there forever! I am not paying you to sit there and mope; unless you are doing it in a movie."

Yami had been in the trailer for hours and never bothered to come out to have his daily can of diet soda that Mokuba would bring to him.

"Go the frig away!" Yami yelled back. "I'm not coming out! Mokuba, diet soda!"

"I'm outside sir, how can I give you a soda if you won't let anyone in your trailer?" asked Mokuba.

"……..Damnit!" cursed Yami.

"You'll have to come out eventually," said the director. "We all know you can't live without diet sodas."

Yami starting to whimper can be heard from the trailor.

"Ahhh, there is nothing wrong with expressing your sexuality, Yami-kun," teased the writer.

"Go stuff a Pepsi can in your mouth, wench," growled Yami. "You have no idea."

"……..How rude!" yelled the writer. "And what is that suppose to mean? We saw what you were carrying!"

She started to puff her cheeks up like a Jigglypuff. "And I will not be talked to like that!"

"Yami! You just had to open your insulting mouth again!" cried the director. "Now you've doomed us all, again!"

"What's the worse she can do?" said Yami with a smirk. "I'm afraid of the pepsi lover. I bet she would marry a man who wears a Pepsi getup."

"Ohhhhhh, your just digging your grave deeper!" growled the writer. "I'd rather not see a man in Pepsi spandex."

The entire area suddenly grew silent. Yami lifted his head up and blinked at the silence.

"The hell?"

He got to his feet and trotted over to the window. He pushed back the curtains, then fell back as many screams filled his ears.

"Ahh! The frig was that?" cried Yami as he got to his feet.

He stood up in front of the window and peered out. His jaw dropped to the ground at the sight he saw.

People were running around and being chased by what appeared to be living diet soda vending machines. They were tackling people, jumping up and down on them, and shooting diet soda cans at them. Oh the horror!

"…….Oh…..<censored>!" swore Yami.

"Hey! Watch the potty mouth!" yelled the enraged writer. "Kids are reading this you know and we can't have that kind of language!"

"The hell are you talking about? You censored my word!" growled Yami.

"Are you questioning me?" threatened the writer.

"What does it look like?" asked Yami as his eyes narrowed at the ceiling.

"Grrrrrr! Now I know how the shrimp feels!" grumbled the writer. "You are mean!"

"Whatcha going to do then? Send your stupid living vending machines after me?" questioned Yami in a mocking voice. "Bring them on then!"

"………Living vending machines?" asked the writer in a confused tone. "What kind of stupid creation is that? I could do better then send living vending machines after you. I'd rather crush you with Pepsi cans."

"……..Wait……….the vending machines outside………….aren't yours?" asked Yami as his face started to turn pale.

The writer took hold of her writing and scanned through the papers. She muttered softly as she read through it, then her face fell.

"The hell??" gasped the writer. "Where did those come from? I didn't plan this out! Ewwww……….they are diet! AHHH! Even worse! They are diet non-brand soda!"

Yami covered his ears with his hands as the writer went into a fit of screams.

"Damnit women! Get a hold of yourself!" yelled Yami through the screams. "You're the writer of this fic so fix the mess outside!"

"I……..I can't!" sobbed the writer. "I'm afraid of non-brand sodas! I think I need to lay down………."

"……..Well this is just great!" Yami said angrily. "What are we gonna do about this now? Don't you have any ideas on you?"

"I do indeed," said the writer. "To be continued!"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!" screamed Yami. "You can't do that! You just can't! I forbid you to do this! You can't leave me waiting for instructions!"

"Who's gonna stop me?" scowled the writer. "You want me to make a plan, right?"

"Well…..uh……..ya……..that would be nice," said Yami.

"Well, I am suffering from one of the worse diseases a writer could ever get………." said the writer in a hushed voice.

Yami gasped loudly.

"No……….you can't mean………." his eyes went wide.

"I'm afraid so………" said the writer, her eyes lowering to the floor.

"Oh my god………..oh my god," whispered Yami. "Oh my frigging god! The writer has arthritis!"

With a frown the writer started to type something. A few Pepsi cans appeared over Yami's head and one at a time landed on his head.

"Baka!" cried the writer each time a soda can hit his head. "Baka! (BANG!) Baka! (BANG!) Baka! (BANG!) Baka! (BANG!)"

Yami fell to the floor, twitching madly from the soda cans.

"No fellow writers, I do not have arthritis," announced the writer. "I have the severe case of………….writer's block!"

Suddenly, the Ghostbusters theme started to play in the background; it was suppose to be horror music.

"……Wrong tape! Wrong tape!" cried the writer.

"Oops, sorry boss," said Mai. "I was listening to that on my player but panicked when I heard that your scene with the music was coming up. I must've switched our tapes by mistake since I was in a rush."

"But you had hours to prepare!" whined the writer. "Why did you have to go and ruin my moment?"

"Eh……….er………..ah…̷ 0;…" Mai was becoming speechless.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……….." sobbed the writer. "You characters are so mean!"

"Oh great," said Yami who had recovered from the Pepsi can attack. "What are we going to do now? The writer is acting like a baby, living vending machines are all over the place, Mai isn't doing her job right, and I still haven't gotten my friggin diet soda!!"

"My my," said the narrator. "What has this world gotten into? Will Chibi-chan fight off the writer's block disease? Has Jounouchi made it safely to the hospital? Will someone manage to defeat the living vending machines? Did someone solve the mystery of the pepsi cans in Wheevil's bomb of destruction? Will Anzu's spend the rest of her life as a door mat?"

"And will……………awww screw it, there are too many questions to ask and too many to answer. The answer to Anzu's question is…………..yes. Just stay turned for the next episode of Yu-Gi-Oh behind the Scenes!"

"Hey, where did you come from?" asked the writer. "I've never seen you before! I really need a break, too many weirdo's popping up."

**It is true that I am having writer's block. I just hope that you like this chapter! I promise to give you more insanity when I get more ideas. Ja ne!**