Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-Gi-Oh! My Way... ❯ Pegasus J. Crawford Is NOT A Man You Want To Mess With... Especially If You’re A Guy ( Chapter 2 )

`Yu-Gi-Oh!' My Way...

R - Humor/Romance - Author: Lady Love

Disclaimer (Mokuba): Big Brother doesn't own `Yu-Gi-Oh!'. Neither does that spoiled brat that is secretly stalking him... Oops! Did I let that slip? *grins maliciously*

Seto: *>: ( You're stalking me?

LL: ^_^U Hehehehehe...

Mokuba: *grins*

LL: You little-- I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS MOKUBA!!! * chases Mokuba around*

Mokuba: *sticks out tounge and pulls down eyelid* Nyah-nyah! *runs off*

Seto: *grabs a bottle of aspirin, sighs* The warnings for this chapter: As always there will be Anzu-bashing, Honda-bashing, and Pegasus-bashing. Perverted comments and foul language are present. So it's perfect for little five-year-olds! *LL and Mokuba zip by, LL screaming her head off and Mokuba still taunting her* Also slight yaoi warning, for you airheads who didn't know already. *takes aspirin, goes to sleep*

LL: *stops running* I'll kill him later. *Mokuba zips on by* Now to start the fic. *sees Seto sleeping, smirks* I've got a good idea. *Mokuba zips by LL again*

~Two Hours Later...~

LL: Hehehehehe... *Mokuba zips by AGAIN*

Seto: *yawns (Aww...), wakes up*

LL: *pulls cord*

*A lot of roaches land on Seto.*

Seto: OO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-- *gasp, gasp* --HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *jumps off of the sofa* DAMN IT! GET THESE FUCKIN' THINGS OFFA' ME!!!

Mokuba: *zips by Seto* Ooooooooooh! Big Brother said a bad woooooooooooooooord!

LL: v.v* *sees Seto jumping around* Hehehehehehehehehehe... *roaches crawl over to LL* Umm... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Seto: *is grinning* ^____________________________________________________________^ *Mokuba zips by again* Oo?

***

Episode 2: Pegasus J. Crawford (Maximillion Pegasus) Is NOT A Man You Want To Mess With... Especially If You're A Guy

(Yugi and Jounouchi (Joey) are in their house (Yes. Jou DOES live with Yugi. Not many people know this. (1))

Jou: Man. I wish I could duel like you. That's real cool, Yug'.

Yugi: Maybe Grandpa can teach you.

Jou: Umm... Your gramps'? I don't think so, Yug'. He's kinda preoccupied with alla' those magazines.

Yugi: ^_^U Yeah. I guess you're right.

Door: DING-DONG! *cough* I'm getting too old for this...

Yugi: Oo *answers door*

Mailman: Package for... *checks clipboard* Yugi Mutou.

Yugi: Yes?

Mailman: ^_^ Okay. Sign here. *points to line on clipboard*

Yugi: *signs line*

Mailman: ^_^ Okay, thanks.

Gay Helper Boy: *wheels in a BIG box* Here you go. *looks at Yugi hungrily*

Yugi: Oo

Mailman: Don't worry, he hasn't raped anyone... Yet...

Yugi: OO Umm...

Mailman: C'mon son, I'll get you that blowjob-- ICE CREAM! YES! Ice cream that you wanted! *walks off*

Gay Helper Boy: ^_^ Okay, dad! Bye, Yugi! *waves and runs off*

Yugi: Oo

Jou: *has heard everything* God, there's a lot of gay people. Oo

Yugi: Well, what's in this package?

Jou: *shrugs*

Box: *shakes around violently*

Jou and Yugi: OO AHH! DEMENTED BOX! *ducks behind sofa*

Box: *tips over, lid pops open, and........................................................................ ........................................................................... ........................................................................... ........................................................................... ........................................*

***

Seto: DAMN IT! JUST GET ON WITH IT!

LL: v.v* Sorry...

***

Box: *and Anzu and Honda (quite alive) tumble out*

Jou: Honda?!

Yugi: ANZU!!! AHH!!! * ducks behind sofa*

Anzu: ^_________^ YUGI!!! *runs over and hugs Yugi*

Yugi: *choking* ... Anzu... Need... Air...

Anzu: What did you say, my love?

Yugi: *gasping* ...Air!... Need!... AIR!...

Anzu: Huh?

Yugi: *turns blue and faints*

Jou: YUG!

Honda: Hehe... Anzu-koi made Yugi faint...

Jou: That is NOT funny!

Thug #1: *sneaks up behind Jou and puts a chloroform-soaked rag over Jou's mouth and nose*

Jou: MMPH!!! Ugh... *faints*

Thug #2: *sneaks up behind Anzu and puts a chloroform-soaked rag over Anzu's mouth and nose*

Anzu: *is babbling to Yugi about Yugi, faints*

Thug #3: *sneaks up behind Honda with a chloroform-soaked rag*

Honda: *bends down to tie his shoe*

Thug #3: *trips over Honda*

Both: *tumble into a wall*

Honda: Xx

Thug #3: Xx

Boss Person: Get em' outta' here!

Thugs #1&2: *drag Jou, Yugi, Anzu, Honda, and Thug #3 out of the house and into the van*

Anzu: *hits head on stairs leading out* XP (dead)

Thug #1: *shrugs and leaves Anzu where she is*

Honda: *wakes up because he had a bad dream of Anzu dying (Good for us, though...)* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *dies for no apparent reason* XP

Thug #2: Oo *drops Honda next to Anzu*

Boss Person: *pulls out walkie-talkie* Sir, we have the kids ya' wanted... Yes, sir... *puts away walkie-talkie* Okay, you idiots, let's go!

*The `60s hippie-daisy-van launches out of the driveway at its top speed of 9 M.P.H.*

~Later...~

Yugi: *wakes up, face is normal color again* Ugh... What happened?

Jou: *also wakes up* Yug? That you?

Yugi: Yeah.

Jou: Com'ere.

Yugi: *crawls over to Jou* Yeah?

Jou: I... I think I'm dead. I SEE LIVE PEOPLE!

Yugi: v.vU Jou, you're not dead.

Jou: *sits upright suddenly* COOL! Ya' see, I had this dream where I died and went to that fiery place.

Yugi: ... Hell?

Yami: //AND YOU COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT MY CURSING!!!//

Yugi: /I used the PLACE, not the curse./

Yami: //*pout* Damn you...//

Yugi: /¬_¬U .../

Jou: Yug?

Yugi: Yeah?

Jou: How are we gonna get outta' here?

Yugi: Umm... *pushes on the cell door, it opens*

Jou: v.vU Those thugs are idiots...

Pegasus: Hello, Yugi. And Katsuya.

Yugi: OO

Jou: OO

Pegasus: What?!

Yugi: OO

Jou: OO WHY THE HELL ARE YA' WEARIN' A BIKINI?!

Pegasus: *looks down at self and blushes* ^_^U I was doing my ab-master.

Yugi: OO

Jou: OO

Pegasus: You will never tell!!! *somehow takes Yugi's grandpa's soul* Ha! You tell and I rip up this soul card!!!

Yugi: OO GRANDPA!

Pegasus: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *hack, cough* -- Ow... *runs off laughing insanely*

Yugi: Oo? I gotta get Grandpa's soul back!

Jou: *pulls out remote-type-thing*

Yugi: What's that?

Jou: My Transporter-Homer 3000.

Yugi: Oo?

Jou: Watch. *presses purple button, Homer Simpson appears*

Homer: What am I doin' here? D'OH!

Jou: Whoops. *presses purple button again, Homer disappears*

Yugi: OO?

Jou: Heh. *presses green button, Yugi and Jou are transported back to the Kame (Turtle) Game Shop* (2)

Yugi: Much better. Umm... *points to dead Anzu and Honda*

Jou: *shrugs, kicks Anzu in the side*

Yugi: What's this? *points to letter on doorstep*

Jou: ¬_¬U A letter?

Yugi: v.v* I knew that. *picks up letter, opens it, and reads it* OO OH MY GOD!

Jou: Did they kill Kaiba?! (3)

Yugi: No! Worse!

Jou: Umm... Don't you mean better?

Yugi: Shut up, Jou.

Jou: *pout* Fine.

Yugi: I'm in a Duelist Kingdom tournament for ¥3,000,000!

Jou: Cool!

Yugi: But it says here that if you lose in the finals, you have to... OO Become Pegasus's sex slave.

Jou: OO Man. I'd rather be Kaiba's sex slave any day... Scratch that.

Yugi: But I have to enter. I have to save Grandpa!

Jou: `Kay. We'll enter.

Yugi: You too, Jou?

Jou: Why not? It's not like I'm gonna make it to the finals anyway... Thank the lord...

Yugi: *gives Jou a friendly hug* Thank you, Jou-kun. (Jou-my friend who's a boy)

Jou: No problem.

~End of Episode Two~

Author's Notes:

(1) Jou lives with Yugi because his father used to beat him. Before he and Yugi were friends, Jou would bully Yugi around (Honda too). Then Ushio, the school's worst bully, tried to beat up Jou and Honda and Yugi protected them, even though they were jerks to them. So the three of them were friends from then on. And Yugi found out about Jou's problem with his dad and let Jou live with him.

(2) Transporter-_Homer_. _Homer_ Simpson. I don't think I need to explain anymore.

(3) Yugi said, `Oh my god!'. Jou said, `Did they kill Kaiba?'. `Oh my god, they killed Kenny (Kaiba), you bastard!' That explains that.

Seto: What's with Mokuba?

LL: I think he's on a sugar-high.

Seto: Great.

Mokuba: *zips by again, promptly passes out in the middle of running* Xx

Seto: Oo Mokuba?

Mokuba: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

LL: Tune in for next week's episode! I actually don't think it'll be next week, might be sooner, might be later. Ja ne!

Seto: Ja!

Mokuba: ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzHAHAzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzhezzzzzzzzzz...

Seto and LL: Oo?

~LL