Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yugioh Dating Game ❯ Yami and the very angry wife of DOOM. ( Chapter 3 )

Bilbo-san: MWAHA! YOU HAVE JUST ENTERED THE DATING ZONE!

*insert scary music here*

Everyone: O_o;;

LegolasLuver123: Today's unlucky contestant is Yami..

{[Yami is tied to a chair. He looks very angry]}

Yami: GET ME OFF THIS CHAIR!

Bilbo-san: NEVER! MWAHA!

Everyone: o_O;;

LegolasLuver123: The lucky bachelors are Marik, Ryou, and introducing Bilbo-san's Original Character… Anoka!

{[A 3,023 year old girl with blue spiky hair appears. She looks 23.]}

Anoka: Hullo!

Audience: Myeh…

LegolasLuver123: Lazy good for nothing audience! I can fix this! *Whips out sugar hose and sprays audience*

Audience: *jumps around stage*

Bilbo-san: Great…now we have to wait for it to wear off..

*Three hours later*

LegolasLuver123: Is it worn off yet?

Bilbo-san: No..

LegolasLuver123: How about now?

Bilbo-san: No…

Legolasluver123: How about now?

Bilbo-san: FOR THE LAST TIME…

{[Audience calms down]}

Legolasluver123: Now?

Bilbo-san: YES!

LegolasLuver123: Good.. Because I was getting kind of bored..

Everyone: -_-;

Bilbo-san: Er… anyway.. like last time.. the contestant will ask questions to the bachelors.. then there will be a game round and then more questions….

LegolasLuver123: FUN!

Bilbo-san: Just ask the damn questions..

*Cards pop up*

Yami: What the hell am I supposed to do with these?

Everyone: -_-;

Legolasluver123: READ THEM!

Yami: Oh.. I knew that! I was just seeing if YOU knew..

Everyone: *anime fall*

Yami: Okay.. bachelor number one… What..

Bilbo-san: BUT first.. a little info on Anoka.. Anoka was Yami's wife 3000+ years ago in Egypt blah blah blah. When Yami sealed himself in the Millennium Puzzle, Anoka devised a way to see him again since she would be dead when someone solves the puzzle. So she and 4 friends created five other millennium Items, calling them the Feminine Millennium Items (and the Millennium Necklace is one of them) and sealed themselves into them, leaving Egypt without a backup plan. 3000+ years later a certain Billionaire unwittingly gave his little brother a Millennium Item which was the Millennium Scrunchy and held Anoka's spirit. Thus insanity ensued. We don't know whose the Fifth Yami for the last Feminine Item though....

Bilbo-san: *collapses*

Random camera guy: Uh… is there a doctor in the house?!

LegolasLuver123: SWEET! I'm the host! MORE MONEY! MWAH! No longer am I a co-host!

Random Guy: I'm doctor! *revives Bilbo-san*

Legolasuver12: Kuso!! There goes my chance at host.. *sigh*

Bilbo-san: Meanie! ;_; *runs off crying*

{[Lonu appears]}

Lonu: I shall be the new Co-Host!

Yana: no, you are here because you want to steal everyone's souls *kicks him to Turkey*

Yana: I'M the new co-host!

LegolasLuver123: MEEEEEP! *drags Bilbo-san out* no.. She is the co-host..

Yana: *sulks and walks off the stage*

Bilbo-san: Anyway, its time for Yami to ask some questions!

Marik: Why am I here?

LL123: Because we love you!

Marik: Suuure you do...

Random Joey fans: No, we hate you for brainwashing Joey and using him to take over the world!

Joey: I almost did that?...COOL!

LegolasLuver123: ANYWAY! Ask the questions…

Yami: Anoka, how pissed off were you when you found out I sealed myself in the puzzle?

Anoka: *head ten times of usual size* I WAS VERY PISSED OFF! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF ME FIRST?! I HAD TO SEAL MYSELF AND FIVE OF MY FRIENDS INTO OUR MILLENNIUM ITEMS SO I CAN SEE YOU AGAIN! THEN EGYPT WAS LEFT WITH NO PHAROAH AND I THINK OUR DAUGHTER CLEOPATRA INHERITED THE THRONE *rants on and on for three more minutes*

Yami: ^_^;; sorry..

Anoka: DON'T SORRY ME!

LegolasLuver123: *whips out big cork and sticks in it Anoka's mouth*HA! That solved that problem…

Anoka: *eyes glow dangerously red*

Yami: RUN! SHE'S GONNA BLOW!

Bilbo-san: er, commercial then?

**

Voice: Are you constantly bothered by Music that you hate?

Joey: *nods* I hate ta Brittney Spears chick! I can't stand her music!

Voice: Then get my invention called The Off button..

Joey: What does it do?

Voice: -_-; Isn't it obvious?

Joey: *confused* No…

Voice: -_-;;; My device turns off the music you dislike…

Joey: YAY! NO MORE BRITTNEY SPEARS!!

Mai: WHAT?!?! YOU DON'T LIKE BRITNNEY???

Joey: ^_^;; Uh….no….

Mai: *whips out Mallet and whacks Joey to Australia*

Voice: Uh…This product… is only $56.96.. Buy it now! We are not responsible for Crazed Brittney Spears Fans…

**

LegolasLuver123: And he was all like.. "Yeah…I'm cool" and I'm like "Dude.. you're Davey Havok.. of course you're cool.."

Davey Havok: *appears*

LL123: O_O;; DAVEY! *glomps him*

Davey: Meeeeeeep..

Bilbo-san: *whispers* We're back!

LegolasLuver123: Back from where? Oh! Welcome back! We have a few more questions and then off to play Kill Yami…

Yami: O_O;; MEEEEEEEEP!

LegolasLuver123: ^_^;; I mean.. Play Games with Yami.. Stupid cue cards.. uh...yeah…

Bilbo-san: ANYWAY! Ask the questions!

Yami: Bachelor Number Two, what do you do when you're all alone on Friday nights? ….WHO WRITES THESE QUESTIONS?!?

Bilbo-san: ^_____^;; Uh… It was not Legolas…

Yami: THEN WHO?

Bilbo-san: …

LegolasLuver123: IT WAS LONU! ALL LONU! *pulls curtain showing Lonu writing on the cue cards*

Yami: LONU! YOU WILL DIE!

Lonu: MEEP! *runs away*

Everyone: O_o;;;

Bilbo-san: Can't we all just get along?

Everyone: NO!

Bilbo-san: Oh…

LL123: o_O;; Uh.. answer the question Marik!

Marik: Well.. I usually.. mind control girls and take them out on dates.. I don't see why I'm here! I'M NOT GAY! *leaves*

Bilbo-san: O_o;; Well that has never happened before..

LL123: What do we do now?

Yami: LET ME GO!!

LL123: Mmm… Nah.. I think we will continue the torture.. MWHA!

Yami: ;_;

Everyone: O_o;;

Bilbo-san: Well.. now you are just plain mean!

LL123: Yesh I know! Isn't it fun! ^_^;;

Everyone: -_-;

Bilbo-san: LOOK! I'M A KITTY! =^_^= Meow!

Everyone: o_O;

LegolasLuver123: I think that's enough of that.. *takes Dr. Pepper*

Bilbo-san: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! ;__________;

It was my own…. My love… my precioussssssssss..

Everyone: O_O;;

LegolasLuver123: I think she is going through Dr. Pepper withdraw..

Everyone: -_-;

Yami: CAN YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME ASK THE QUESTIONS!

Everyone: O_o;;

LegolasLuver123: No one was stopping you…

Yami: *anime fall* @_@

Anoka: Yesh, and I say we have things to talk about...NOW!

All: *cowers*

Bilbo-san: *sulking* I really liked that can of Dr. Pepper…

Everyone: o_O;;

Yami: ANYWAY! Bachelor Number Three, Is that your natural hair color?

Ryou: *Head grows ten times too big* YES IT IS MY REAL HAIR COLOR! WOULD YOU STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS! YOU BAKA NINGENS!

Everyone: O_o;;

Hiei: Obviously someone didn't take their medicine this morning…

Ryou: Mmmm...medicine... Wait! I DON'T WANNA *Voice changes to Bakura* TAKE THE MEDICINE! YOU SHALL ALL FACE MY WRATH! *Evil laughter*

Everyone: O_O;;

LegolasLuver123: Er.. I think we should start the torture games..

Yami: O_O;; MEEEP!

Bilbo-san: *is back to normal* I have recovered from my addiction…

LL123: What addiction?

Bilbo-san: My Dr. Pepper addiction..

LL123: -_-;;

Yami: Could we possibly start the games so this nightmare could end?

Bilbo-san: You just take the fun out of everything, don't you?

Yami: ^_^;; It's a gift..

LL123: Let's see how Marik is.. Little does he know he has a camera following him! ^_^;

Bilbo-san: No contestants are going to get away with their fans near by!

**

Elsewhere…

Marik: Finally I'm out of that bloody studio..

Rabid Marik Fan: THERE HE IS! LET'S GET HIM!

Marik: O_O; Meep! *Runs away*

Mob of rabid Marik fans: LET'S GET HIM! *Runs after Marik*

**

Yami: ^_^:; Go rabid fans! Go! Go! Make that Marik pay!

LL123: We're back…

Yami: oh…

Bilbo-san: Now we are going to play Pin the crown on the pharaoh!

Yami: I have a feeling my arse is going to be in deep trouble!

LL123: Boy you are right!

Bilbo-san: But before we torture you.. we have to go to a commercial..

Yami: Phew!

LL123: Then after that is the games!

Yami: Meep! >_<

Anoka and Bakura: *laughing evilly*

**

Voice: Is your marriage dying?

*Clip shows a random couple arguing and slapping each other in the face*

Voice: Does your spouse have any annoying habits?

*clip of a man eating lots of potatoes with his wife sweat dropping at the sight*

Voice: Then come to Dr. Bakura! He can fix any problem with your marriage.

*clip shows the couple who were arguing...doing...things...*

Random Wife: Before my husband would always argue with me.. now he doesn't do anything!

Husband: *souless* ...

Voice: So call Dr. Bakura for any of your relationship problems!

Note: if your spouse's soul is sent to shadow realm.. there are no money back guarantees..

**

Bilbo-san: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COWS GO MOOOOO!

Everyone: -_-;

LL123: Wait.. I thought.. chickens went moo..

Bilbo-san: No its Cows..

LL123: Really? I always thought it was Chickens..

Yami: WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND BEGAN THE TORTURE!!

Everyone: o_O;

LL123: A little eager are we?

Everyone: O_O;;

Bilbo-san: *bashing her head in the wall* Bad thoughts out.. Good thoughts in..

LL123: Uh… ANYWAY!

Nina (my muse): I can do a trick! *makes smoke appear*

Everyone: *coughing* X_X;;

((Smoke disappears. Yami is blind-fold, and is dressed in royal garments. He is chained to the wall, and the bachelors all have pointy crowns. Yami's arse is facing the bachelors.))

Bilbo-san: and let the GAME BEGIN! *fires gun*

((The bachelors are released and stumbling around and franticly waving their arms. ))

Ryou: *thinking* where is it? Hmm…

Bilbo-san: Did you hear about the game Kingdom Hearts?

Ll123: Isn't that a game about a guy with the giant key?

Bilbo-san: -_-; Yeah..anyway, I heard that the sequel is coming out next year! *whips out a pile of pictures* and I got pics!

LL123: EEE! Sora looks sexy in that new outfit...

Bilbo-san: Tell me about it...

LL123: By the way, HE'S MINE!

Bilbo-san: No. MINE!

LL123: MINE!

Bilbo-san: MINE!

*ten minutes later*

Ryou: I think I found Yami! *pins crown on Bilbo-san*

Bilbo-san: Ah, Ryou, I didn't know you cared! *glomps him really hard*

Ryou: *turning blue* help...me...

LL123: oooh.. the pretty colors..

*Bakura appears*

Bakura: Now this is entertainment! *whips out popcorn*

Bilbo-san: HA! I KNEW IT! I AM QUEEN! THE CROWN PROVES IT!

Everyone: -_-;

*Anoka is "mysteriously" guided to Yami and the crown is pinned to his arse*

*A random shoe is thrown at Bilbo-san*

Bilbo-san: X_X;; Ouchies…

*Lonu appears*

Lonu: Yay! Now I can steal everyone's souls!

*Lonu gets 'mysteriously' hit by lightning*

Lonu: @_@ birdies...

Yana: *puts away Millennium Light Saber* That will teach ya! Now if you don't mind, I'll be starting a random mob and chase Marik now.. *runs off*

**

Elsewhere..

Marik: *gasping for air* baka fan girls! LEAVE ME ALONE! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO CUTE?!?!

Yana: *Appears out of nowhere with a mob of fan girls* GET HIM!

Marik: EEEEEEEE! *Runs away*

**

Bilbo-san: Baka, baka ,baka ,baka ,baka ,baka ,baka , baka , baka, baka! *continues saying baka*

LL123: -_-; She's singing that song again..

*Four hours later*

Bilbo-san: baka.. baka..

LL123: SLIENCE! *Whips out duck tape and tapes Bilbo-san's mouth*

Bilbo-san: *muffled* Baka....Baka..

Everyone: -_________-;;

LL123: This is our last game for today.. is.. Find the Pharaoh in the Needle Stack!

Bilbo-san: *takes off duck tape*OWWWWWWWWW! PAIN IS BAD! >_<;

Everyone: O_o;

Bilbo-san: The rules are simple.. Find Yami in the Needle stack… whoever finds him wins! BEGIN!

((Ryou and Anoka search desperately through the needle stack))

Anoka: OUCHIES THAT WENT RIGHT INTO MY EYE! *starts hitting the needles*

note: do not try this stupid stunt at home..

*uses special attack to blow away needles*

*needles attack Yami*

Yami: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Anoka: I'm sorry Yami! *hugs him* *cries*

All: O_o;

Random audience member: so beautiful! *sniff*

Sign: Go awww……

Audience: aww..

Anoka: *whips out mallet* QUIET!

Everyone: O_o;

LL123: -_-; Damn mood swings.. Just go to commercial..

**

Random Announcer: Are you bored with 'Pin the tail on the donkey' game?

Kids: *nods*

Announcer: Then play Pin the Crown on the Pharaoh! More fun when the pharaoh is a doll with pin sensors!

Doll: AAARRRRGGGHHHHH! Fool! Not where it REALLY hurts!

Kid: Neat!

Announcer: There is also Pin the Tail on Joey..

Joey; WOOOOOOOF! >_<; PAIN! Tha one hurt!

Kid: Kool-ie-o! ^_^;;

Announcer: These fine games cost only $20.. so go get me rich..

Everyone: O_o;

Announcer: I mean.. BUY THESE TODAY!

Note: No animals or pharaohs were hurt in this commercial..

**

Bilbo-san: SORA'S MINE! THE ONLY REASON YOU LIKE HIM IS EBCAUSE OF ME!

LL123: NA-UH! I'VE ALWAYS LIKED HIM! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!

Random camera guy: Ladies..

*Two still screaming at each other*

Random camera guy: LADIES!!!!

Both: WHAT?!

Random Camera Guy: We're back..

Both: Oh….

Bilbo-san: We are at the last part of the show.. the question round..

*sigh* no more torturing Yami..

LL123: We could torture him with questions! ^_^:

Bilbo-san: ^_^:

Yami: O_o;; Er.. Um.. Bachelor Number One if you could describe me in one word what would that word be?

Bachelor Number One (Anoka): Sexy!

Everyone: O_O;;;;;;;;

Yami: *Blushing* Uh….Bachelor Number Two…

LL123: MARIK ISN'T HERE! BAKA!

Yami: Oh yeah… whatever happened to him..

*

Marik: *Surrounded by Fan girls* Meep! ;_; I should have stayed at the studio.. >_____<; *is magically transported to the studio*

Fan girls: ;_; MARIK! *cries*

Marik: *opens eyes* YAY! I'M BACK!

Everyone: *waves*

Bilbo-san: Just in time for the questions too!

Marik: KUSO!

Everyone: -_-;

Yami: Uh.. Marik.. Are you a homosexual?

Marik: O_O;;;;

Yami: So that's a yes?

Marik: IT'S A NO! YOU BAKA PHAROAH!

Odeon: *in audience* You didn't say no to me last night! ;_;

All: O_o;;

Marik: uh...I was drunk! That's right! Drunk!

Odeon: Suuure you were! Funniest night I ever had...

Yami: O_o;; Uh…Moving ON! Bachelor Number Three.. uh.. hi?

Ryou: *waves* HI! Would you like some tea and crumpets?

Yami: -_-;; uh…no thank you.. Is this blasted game over yet?

Bilbo-san: No…not yet…

Yami: When is it over?

Bilbo-san: Not for another…

LL123: It's over! Hah! Next time on The Dating Game we will see the winner and the date with the baka pharaoh..

Bilbo-san: So stayed tuned!

LL123: REVIEW!

Bilbo-san: or there will no tea and crumpets!

LL123: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! REVIEW I SAY! REVIEW!!!