Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ The Quest for the Golden Thing I Can't Say Outside the Fic. ❯ Introduction ( Chapter 1 )

THE QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN DILDO!!!

This is about the Golden Dildo that Elrond knows all about, because he is the Lord of the Dildos, but everyone else wants the Golden Dildo for certain reasons of their own. I put then in groups so that they can travel that way. They are in groups with other people that want the Golden Dildo for basically the same reasons. They all have nutso group names. They must go on a quest through Tokyo, Feudal Japan, and then through Middle-earth, this includes Mordor, Gondor, Rohan, The Shire, Valinor, Lothlorien, Rivendell, and Anardor (which I made up). These are the characters and what they want to do with/to the Dildo. Hardships include: Cannibalistic Dwarves, Orcs, Man-eating gerbils, romance issues, horniness, loneliness, sadness, high off weed…-ness, killer shit wads, venomous toilet paper, killer cheese, Ents that sing until you fall asleep and then try and kill their victims (from the Old Forest of Tom Bombadil), issues controlling bodily functions (including vomiting, shitting your pants, peeing your pants, nocturnal emission (when a guy does certain things in his sleep, and in his pants, email me for the real meaning), excessive beer consumption and lack of coffee afterward, WAY too much sugar, attempted humping, the Creeper (from Jeepers Creepers II), the Grim Reaper, werewolves, Dudeys, and Mimms (the fat ass dick head lady.)

Guest appearances from people from: The Rugrats, Pokemon, Lupin III, Harry Potter V, Digimon, Spiderman, Teen Titans, X-Men Evolution (the cartoony one), The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, the Evil Cancarne, and Sailor Moon.

Cast:

Elrond (Lord of the Dildos, drops clues every now and then for the idiots)

Frodo (wants to destroy it)

Legolas (hates dildos, is out to destroy it)

Sam (wants to share his dildo with Rosie)

Mr. Rogers (likes to hang out with Aindedhelwen and Windfola)

Aindhelwen (Kiku, Elf, is trying to help Legolas kill the Golden Dildo)

Vanahuan (fair dog, Boomer, Ainedhelwen's dog, helps destroy it)

Anannhuan (long dog, Anne, Winfola's dog, helps destroy it) < ^ (help by sniffing for it)

Raukowen (wants to do Gimli with it, she is Ainedhelwen's younger sister and hate Hobbits, Elves, and Humans, even though she's an Elf)

Lissiel (the youngest sister of Aindhelwen, Elf, wants to destroy it)

Windfola (Gina, Hobbit, is trying to destroy it)

Haldir (also wants to destroy it but keeps getting horny.)

Rosie (keeps trying to smack Sam for trying to catch the Golden Dildo)

Gimli (wants it for himself, greedy fucking little dildo eater.)

Aragorn (wants to smack Eowyn with it)

Arwen (wants to smack Eowyn because she tried to take Aragorn)

Elanor (Sam's daughter, wants to smack her daddy with it)

Elrohir and Elladan (want to smack Arwen with it, because she stole their blanky)

Gloin (wants to do Gimli with it)

Orophin and Rumil (want to destroy it)

Galadriel and Celeborn (want to destroy it)

Kikyo (wants to lick the Golden Dildo)

Merry and Pippin (want to destroy it)

Inuyasha (wants to destroy it)

Sesshomaru (wants to destroy it)

Jakken (wants to eat it, he says it's pretty and tasty)

Kagome (wants to eat it)

Kaede (wants to do Kikyo with it)

Shippou (wants to play with it)

Miroku (wants to destroy it because it gets more of IT than he does)

Yusuke (wants to tease Keiko with it)

Kurama (wants to destroy it)

Hiei (hates it, wants to destroy it [when he's sober], wants it when he's smoking Merry and Pippin's most potent weed)

Botan (wants to smack it with her oar, read to find out why)

Koenma (wants it because the Ogre took his binky)

Dudey (Dudey is any of the little punk ass suckas that reported people for things that shouldn't have come with such extreme consequences. Have a heart! Give'em a damned warning, wenis! Don't boot me. I'm not flaming! I'm tellin' the gospel truth! I am the holy one! *Pouts like a puppy* Tch, yeah right.)

Anus-man (freak that flies around in a thong screaming, "I am the mighty Anus-man! Look at my anus, it is mighty!" <-- character by Gina/Windfola.

Mr. Rogers says, "The Webmaster's a stupid wenis." There is a guy here named Randy that says he is Mr. Rogers. He likes tacos and rap, at the same time. We told him what the Web master did, now he says he's a wenis. Now he's running around saying, "DELETE IT DELETE IT DELETE IT!!!", we are ignoring his moronic little dickface self. Now he is pulling our hair saying, "I am not a dick face! I am not a dick face!" Now we say, "Randy, you fuck ducks. You… fuck… ducks!" He says, "I don't fuck ducks." Note, Randy doesn't do fanfics, he says they fuck ducks, but he does like to be in our fanfics and do stupid things. Poor confused little dick face, we love him anyway.

Groups

Lord of the Golden Dildo (Elrond)

The Destroyers (Ainedhelwen, Legolas, Haldir, Windfola, Orophin, Rumil, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sesshomaru, Kurama, Hiei, Galadriel, Celeborn, Vanahuan, Anannhuan, Lissiel, Frodo, Merry, Pippin)

The Lickers and Doers (Gimli, Raukowen, Shippou, Kikyo, Raukowen, Kaede, Sam, Koenma, Kaede, Jakken, Yusuke, Kagome, Gloin)

Tormentors (Aragorn, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, Botan, Elanor, Rosie)