Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Anime Kotatsu Gathering ❯ Just Us Boys ( Chapter 1 )

Standard Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all belong to Rumiko Takahashi; Yuu Yuu Hakusho characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi; and the Gundam Bois belong to Hajime Yatate, Yoshiyuki Tomino, and Koichi Tokita.

A/N: Because sometimes… sometimes it's just too much.

~Anime Kotatsu Gathering~

Miroku let out a weary sigh, sliding his shakujou into the marked stand by the door and stepping out of his sandals. He rolled his shoulders, tilting his head from side to side until he felt the satisfying "pop" run through his neck. "Ah, that's ever so much better." He grinned, making his way to the kotatsu where Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were already resting.

Inuyasha slid over to make more room for him. "Rough scenes, bouzu?"

"Aa." Miroku stretched his legs out under the cover, bracing his arm behind him and smiling as the warmth seeped into his aching limbs. "If I have to get `tragically poisoned' one more time, I swear I'm going on strike."

Inuyasha snickered, reaching out to pour sake for the monk. "You hit the shit draw this month then, but look on the bright side, it could be worse."

"You could continuously be forced to suffer the indignities of inexperienced, unstable females believing you have sexual feelings for children," Sesshoumaru drawled out. He was unable to stop his lip from curling up ever so slightly in disgust.

Miroku winced in sympathy. "Rin again?"

"This Sesshoumaru is running out of alcohol."

Inuyasha nodded, glancing up and waving to get the attention of the attending assistant. Pointing to the carafe when she glanced their way as he grumbled, "Yeah well, I don't want to fucking hear it from either of you. Suddenly everyone and their goddamn cat wants to see me enter a meaningful romance with Kouga."

Miroku let out an exaggerated sigh of misery, folding his arms on the table and slumping over. "What happened to those good old days when the most we had to worry about was how many different ways we had to share Kagome and Sango?"

Sesshoumaru made a face. "The circles have opened, and it seems to be more popular that we all instantly view them as the `sisters we never had.'"

"Now that's a fucking crime." Miroku slapped his hand on the table in frustration. "Who died in the booth and decided to pair them off outside our cast, hn? Sango's so tired by the time she gets home than she goes right to bed, and Kagome's never home for backup!"

"It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't getting raped in the tradeoff." Inuyasha folded his arms over his chest. "Have you seen what I've been having to do lately? I act like someone forgot to pump the air into my head in the morning!"

"It would be amusing if they managed to keep me out of it." Sesshoumaru sighed heavily, eyes just barely lighting up as the assistant returned and set down another tray of sake. "This Sesshoumaru's lines are an offense against all ambiguously evil bishounen."

"At least you're still getting parts where you do nothing but have sex." Miroku wrinkled his nose before drinking another cup of the potent liquor. His eyes took on a faraway expression for a moment, tracing the tip of his finger around the rim of the ceramic cup. "You know how Kagome always get those roles where she insists on going down on you?"

Inuyasha grinned and nodded. "Not surprising she's gotten so fucking good at it."

"Indeed." Sesshoumaru tapped his cup on the table to encourage Miroku to pour them the next round.

"Oh? Not going to bitch about `human mouths' and all that this time?" Inuyasha challenged.

"The miko has had enough practice to be tolerable, and she is of a consenting age." Sesshoumaru shrugged. "Not to mention she shares my distaste for the prose this Sesshoumaru is being forced to spout to her."

"Don't remind me." Inuyasha shook his head with an expression of extreme distaste. "We had one last week that I swear to gods, it took us forever to get it. Neither of us could keep a straight face."

"Was that the one where they didn't give you lube?" Miroku cocked his head to one side, going back over the scenes they'd had such difficulties with.

Inuyasha grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I was bitching and she just up and shrieked out `LOVE is the only lube we need!' And fuck if it wasn't just all downhill from there." He threaded his fingers through his hair distractedly. "We were supposed to be in simultaneous earth-moving orgasm, but there we were laughing all over each other."

The door slid open, bringing a halt to the laughter for a moment as three sets of eyes turned to see who else would be intruding during peak hours. Inuyasha shrugged, dismissing the trio in the door as he turned to pour them all more sake, "Hakusho-boys."

"Yo!" Yuusuke lifted one hand. There was a particularly harassed look on his face as he made his way to the other side of the kotatsu with Kurama and Hiei following close behind. "Thought we'd find you three fuckers hiding out in here."

Miroku's brows lifted in question. "Oh?"

"I thought I saw your names on the board this morning." Inuyasha waved to the assistant again, pointing out the three new occupants of the table to get another round. "Weren't you up with Duo or something?"

"There seems to be a new virus circulating through the internet." Kurama smiled in companionable relief. "We're on call for now, but we're crossing our fingers for what sections get back up first."

Yuusuke snorted in annoyance and jerked a thumb at Hiei. "We all know what he's hoping for. Little bastard is getting more sex than Kurama lately, and for once, it's not with each other."

"There are only so many ways I can regurgitate the lines they expected me to rattle off when my cock was up his ass." Hiei shrugged that off, reaching for one of the new cups the assistant set out for them.

"And if I have to cry from the sheer romance of it one more time, I'm going to slit my own wrists." Kurama's brows drew together.

"I like tears as much as the next youkai, but that was fucking ridiculous," Hiei spat. He tilted the contents of the sake cup back and set it down to be refilled. "There wasn't enough blood for it to be romantic."

Silence descended on the table as everyone turned to stare at the diminutive youkai in varying stages of disbelief.

Inuyasha was the first to break the silence. "Well fuck. That explains all the scratches on Kagome lately. Here I thought she just had to do it with Naraku again."

"I thought it was Kouga in the bushes." Miroku looked thoughtful. "They've been complaining about the lack of thought being put into abrasive surfaces in nature, after all."

"I'd claim them all if I could, but Kurama's taken a liking to organic bondage." Hiei gestured to the smirking kitsune. "Between the two of us, it's hard to keep track sometimes. And there seems to be some fetish lately of having her beaten half to death before sex."

"I noticed that, but you have to admit, it's better than the biting." Inuyasha glanced around the table to the nods of agreement in most of the gathered men. Pausing in confusion, he pointed at Yuusuke, "Oi, you get off on the biting thing?"

Yuusuke shook his head. "Sorry, I ain't been the one getting to tap that ass lately. They keep pairing me up with-"

A beep sounded in the room, all six reaching for pagers and checking when Yuusuke starting swearing up a storm. "You got to be kidding me… you've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Genkai?" Kurama tilted his head with a sympathetic wince.

"Thank gods, no." Yuusuke looked ill. Drinking what was left in his cup before sliding out from under the cover and standing up. "But still bad, I have to do a scene with Jin. Any of you have any lube on you? I really don't want to attempt this dry again, and I doubt this chick will think to give me something substantial."

"I hear that love is the only lube you need," Miroku deadpanned.

Inuyasha burst out laughing, not entirely surprised to see Sesshoumaru's lips quirk up in answering amusement. Yuusuke scowled down at him, gritting his teeth when both Hiei and Kurama joined in. "Fuck you all then. See if I help if you get stuck in another corn oil-makes-good-lube scene Kurama."

"We carry our own now." Kurama reached up and patted the breast pocket of his shirt.

"Or we make a point to hit up Kagome before a scene," Hiei cut in. "Gods know she carries enough around with her to lubricate an entire naval regiment once she started getting nothing but sex scenes."

"Speaking of navals-" Kurama started, ducking when Yuusuke swung at his head. "What?"

"Ever since Hiei showed me that fucking doujinshi, that story makes me sick." Yuusuke shook his head in disgust. "Tell that stupid fox in your head to stop repeating it!"

Kurama's spine stiffened indignantly at the insult. "Youko's not stupid. You're jealous because you're running off to get pounded by Jin, and I'm in the wings for a wild night with the most reputable school girl sex-goddess in Japan."

"Is she a goddess this week?" Sesshoumaru glanced up curiously. "I thought she was some sort of genie-kitsune…"

"No, that was last week." Kurama shook his head, tapping a finger to his lip with a thoughtful expression. "Or was it the week before that?"

Miroku blanched. "Are we in a transformation rut again? Fucking hell, no wonder Sango tried to take my head off when I told her I liked her manicure."

Inuyasha reached out and patted his friend on the shoulder. "You can always try and hit someone with the urge to write her in with Hiei like- are you taller than you were when you came in?"

Hiei shrugged.

"No one can seem to decide how tall he is, so you see a lot of that," Kurama explained before he leaned back and glanced up at Yuusuke. "Don't you have a badly retranslated wind youkai to fuck?"

"Blow me, we're stuck with the voiceover until his laryngitis clears up." Yuusuke flipped them off on his way out the door, reaching in his pocket and hitting his speed dial as he slammed it closed. "Keiko? Yeah, do you have Kagome's cell number? Yeah, it's pretty important."

Inuyasha was still snickering as Yuusuke's voice trailed off down the hall, lifting the carafes until he found one that wasn't empty and poured a new round as the assistant came back with a new tray. She gathered the empty ones and carted them off to the kitchen, leaving them to their own devices again.