Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Psycho's and F_D_C2003's CRAZY Killing Spree Story ❯ Dartz Goes Nutty and takes us to Waxtown... ( Chapter 19 )

FDC: We haven't updated in forever!

Bakura: That's because you're both lazy.

Psycho: Who are you calling lazy? At least we don't sit on our asses all day flipping through the TV, sleeping, and then randomly demanding gay sex from Malik!

FDC: XD

 

Malik: o.O

Bakura: I do not! What fucked up world do you live in?

Ryou: *sitting cross-legged floating in the air meditating* In the land of fuzzy cotton balls, talking squirrels and raining numbers, with frilly pink nightgowns and pretty colours.

All: 0______o

Malik: Ryou... are you okay?

 

Psycho: Well we may as well check him into the psyche ward along with Dartz and Shadi. Shall we?

Shadi: *is trying to sing a corny 80's romance song while attempting to sexily take off his bathrobes in a slow and erotic way*

All: *cover ears and eyes*

FDC: Lets us start now before we all die from bleeding ears and loss of eyesight…

 

Nyoko: Let the show begin! ^___________^

 

**~***~**

 

Psycho: *is in yet another cold, dark place and is feeling scared* Why did I run away..? Oh yeah - that transvestite! It likes me! I had to get away! This just isn't fair! T_T I want my yami...

FDC: *has gone off to find Psycho* >.> ~in thought~ This place is dangerous... I have to be prepared for the unexpected! I wonder what those nutballs are doing back there...

~Back with Dartz and the others~

Dartz: leeleeleeleelalalalala... *hanging up pretty paintings of sakura trees and temples on the walls while the bishies have been mysteriously bound and tied to chairs*

Dragon_lover: Why is he decorating this place like it's his home...?

 

Yuugi: I dunno, maybe he lives here.

Dartz: Lalalalalala... Right you are! I live down here now! It is my hoooooooome!!!

All: o.o

Dartz: *looks into the eyes of the bishies* MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All: O_O

Ryou: Yami, I'm scared!

Bakura: *on the opposite side of Ryou* I'm here. Don't worry; nothing bad will happen…

Marik: And you people tell me I'm crazy…

Nyoko: You are crazy!

Dartz: *having a fit* MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Noa: You sound like a dying cow!

Shizuka: It's worse than Shadi trying to sing!

Shadi: LLALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAA

 

Kaiba: God, please, NO! THIS IS ABSOLUTE TORMENT!!

 

RavenFire: I really do question sometimes why we never get revenge on the people that do this to us…

 

Nyoko: That would be our hikaris…

 

Raven: e_e no, like, the people like Dartz, and remember Noa and the giant obese naked guy covered in Vaseline in chapter eight…?

 

Nyoko: Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhh………………

 

~Back with FDC~

 

FDC: *tramping through dark boggy marshes whistling an army marching tune* Where the hell is this woman? *walks on acting like she is in the army* Hut, two, three, four...

~With Psycho~

Psycho: *is stuck in quicksand* Oh this is just fucking great! Now that transvestite will get me for sure! *starts to sink* Yami!!! *hears rustling in the bushes* Oh crap... *grabs a stick while being about halfway swallowed by quicksand and swings it madly* I know it's you, you multi-sexed psycho! You can't get me! *figure steps out of the bush and gets nailed by the stick and a rock that Psycho managed to get hold of*

 

Figure that got f*cked up: *turns out to be FDC*

FDC: When is it naptime mommy? @.@

 

Psycho: OO!!! FIREDEMONCAT!!!! YAY YOU CAME FOR ME!!

 

FDC: X_x I dun wanna go to school today… *falls over out cold*

 

Psycho: =_= well…this really bites fucking ass…

 

~With Dartz and the terrified Bishies~

 

Dartz: *still flitting about acting gay and womanly, dusting invisible windowsills and putting imaginary flowers into imaginary vases*

 

Jou: *asleep and drooling on his chair, still bound by ropes like the others*

 

Ryou: This is turning into a drag… *starts twitching*

 

Kaiba: I'm actually finding it quite amusing… Watching someone who has lost their mind and is seeing hallucinations is rather… interesting. *watches Dartz with rapt wonder*

 

Kurama: What is our purpose for even being here?

 

Inu Yasha: We portray NO purpose! That's what!

 

DoL: We must be here for SOME reason…

 

Malik: I'm hungry…

 

Dartz: *perks up* Hungry, did you say? OOOH!! Now I get to cook my first meal for my lovely new guests! ^___________^ *dances off to the “kitchen”*

 

All: *glare daggers at Malik*

 

Bakura: You just HAD to open your trap, didn't you?

 

Hiei: Who knows what type of things he has in store for us…

 

Mary Ann: He may force us to eat Rat shit!

Kitsune: He may unleash killer floppy disks on us!

All: o.O

Kitsune: What?

Dartz: *busts back in bearing all kinds of delicious looking food*

Malik: O.O *drool*

Dartz: Ok help yourselves to the appetizers!

Yami: e_e How can we? When we can't freakin move?!

Dartz: ^^; Oh yes, how silly of me. *unties everyone*

Kaiba: O_O I think Yami may have done something smart for once!

Lady Washu: Even if he didn't realize it… ^^; *glomps Yami*

Noa: I say we make a break for it.

 

*all the walls close so there is no escape*

All: -_-

 

Kaiba: You just HAD to jinx it you little crap! Didn't you?! *slugs him in the nose*

Dartz: Child abuse!! *rock hits Kaiba in the face*

 

Kaiba: X_X

Mokuba: *drooling all over the food*

Malik: O_O MY FOOD!!! *lunges for the chicken wings*

 

All: *are munching on the non-salivated-on food*

 

Bakura: Maybe this…thing… isn't so crazy after all. *gnawing on bloody raw steak*

 

~Deep male voices are heard echoing throughout the hall~

 

Voice 1: I saw them come down here… but how could someone possibly survive a three-hour fall like that? *unclenches safety harness*

 

Voice 2: They did seem freakishly immortal… I'm glad we brought Father Bakalakadaka with us so he can pray for us down here…

 

Father Bakalakadaka: This could very well be the Underworld!

 

Bishies & others: ???

 

Dartz: *sniffs the air* <.< >.> you people have to run…run… as fast as you can… you can't catch me, I'm the transvestite man! *disappears in a puff of smoke*

 

All: ((O__________O))

 

Marik: What the fuck was that?

Jou: Who cares? The guy's a freak!

Father Bakalakadaka: *busts into the room* We have you now!

RavenFire: >_> What the fudge?

Otogi: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

All: *proceed to start running in various directions only to realize that the walls are still shut tight*

~With Psycho and FDC~

Psycho: *is now neck deep in quick sand* HEY!! FDC WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!! I said wake up dammit! You sleep like a rock! Hmm… OMG LOOK! THE SHICHININ-TAI ARE STREAKING THROUGH THE FOREST!!!!!

 

FDC: *wakes up* OMFG Where?! The sourness of it all! Well it's not all THAT bad... but… eh...

Psycho: Help me!

FDC: O_O How did you get chin deep in quick sand Psy-chan?

Psycho: Don't ask stupid questions, just help me!

FDC: *attempt to pull Psycho out, however they both get sucked into the quick sand*

 

FDC & Psycho: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

 

~ With the bishies and co. ~

Bakura: The cops are STILL after us?!

Yamifanner: You mean they followed us all the way here just because Malik flashed his naked chocolate-sauce-covered body on the roof of FDC's house?!

Kaiba: If they climbed down that hole via a harness and rope, and we FELL down the hole for 3 hours... then how fricking long would it have taken them to climb down?!

Raven: And why did they bring a priest with them? O.o

Father Bakalakadaka: I MUST PURIFY THIS DEMONIC REALM!!

Nyoko & Raven: NEVERRRRRRRRRR!!! *shatter the walls surrounding them*

Jou: Whoo-hoo!

Hiei: *is feeling claustrophobic once again* FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMM!!!!!!!

 

*All of the bishies, yamis and remaining authoresses proceed to run for their dear lives*

~With FDC, Psycho and the quicksand~

Psycho: Why do I have this weird feeling of dé ja vu?

FDC: Because we aren't dead yet and are just floating into nothingness…

Psycho: Oh yeah... *yawns* Is this what being in limbo is like? You know, like between worlds?

 

FDC: Yeah, I've been there once… Not quite dead, but not quite alive either…

 

Psycho: Nyoko was stuck there for a while. She had a hard journey through the afterlife… *yawns and changes subject* Wanna take a nap?

FDC: Ok! ^^ *both go to sleep*

 

~With Bishies and Co. ~

 

Cops & Father Bakalakadaka: *are slowly losing the fleeing criminals and are getting stuck in the dark gloomy, slimy bog anyway*

 

Cop 1: Ugh, let's call it a day.

 

Cop 2: I'm with you on that. *cracks open a beer, gets out his laptop and looks at porn*

 

Father Bakalakadaka: YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!! MAY THE LORD FROWN ON YOUR PRESENCE AND LET THE EVIL SPIRITS DIMINISH YOUR SOUL!! *disappears*

 

Cops: O.o o.O

 

RavenFire: *running behind the others* Ugh! Yuck! This stuff is DISGUSTING!! *getting stuck in the mud*

 

Nyoko: Just handle it -_- *tramping through mud and slush getting her fur and tails muddy and wet*

 

RavenFire: T_T Hey wait… *tries to burn a path through the bog to dry up the mud and water* YAY IT WORKED!! ^_^

 

Kaiba: Omg, she did something right for once!

 

Raven: >.>

 

DoL: *scoops up Shizuka and runs off with her* HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!!!!

 

Yamifanner: o.O we can't afford to lose anymore people!

 

Bakura: *is leading the horde of people and immortals and stumbles across FDC and Psycho asleep in the quicksand* O________o;; uh….

 

Ryou: *pokes them with a stick* What are you two doing?

Psycho: Five more minutes! *snuggles closer*

All: o.O

Nyoko: Hey, guys… I got some nice piping hot Popeys chicken for yah....

Both: O_O CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!! *tackles Nyoko*

 

Jou: O_o but…

 

Kitsune: The quicksand…

 

Kaiba: How…?

 

Yami: NO TIME! LET'S GO! *takes a step forward and falls down*

 

Washu & Yamifanner: *go to help him up*

 

All: -_- *continue walking down the burnt path*

 

Bakura: *sees a figure dash across the swamp in the distance at an unearthly speed* Did anyone see that? *narrows eyes*

 

Psycho & FDC: *stuffing their faces with chicken* ???

 

Bakura: *sees it again* Oo

 

Ryou: I saw it too! *is scared*

 

~Suddenly a dull light is seen in the not-so-far distance. Everyone runs toward it and are disturbed at what they see…~

 

Malik: Oh Ra, don't tell me…

 

Otogi: We're not in…

 

Ryou: America…

 

Honda: Are we?!

 

Kaiba: As a matter of fact, we are. We're in Text-Us, to be precise.

 

Jou: Text-Us…? Isn't it supposed to be “Texas”

 

Kaiba: Not according to that sign…*points to sign that says, “Welcome to Text-Us State! Enjoy your stay!”* -_- retards…

 

Noa: *sniffs* This place smells freakishly familiar… almost like… plastic…

 

Raven: Ugh! Not with the plastic again!

 

Shizuka: That's what you said last time when we arrived back in Domino from the Ice Age…

 

DoL: Fear not, for I shall-eth protect-eth you from the plasticness-eth.

 

Shizuka: O.o

 

Psycho: Come to think of it, this place does seem rather plasticy…

 

Mokuba: *walking past a corn field* Mmm…. CORN!!! *grabs a corn cob and bites into it*

 

All: ……………

 

Mokuba: *spits it out making juvenile demonic noises* nya nya nya nya…

 

Kaiba: O_o he says it's made of candle wax…

 

FDC: Dude, how the hell do you understand him when he…talks… like that?

 

Kaiba: He's been like that for so long now, that it just comes as second nature to me.

 

FDC: Ok, whatever.

 

Mary Ann: But… candle wax?!

 

Khura: How can a whole corn field be made of candle wax…?

 

Dartz: *rides up on a filly pink pony* Because this is Waxtown!

 

All: WTF

 

Psycho: OO *starts hyperventilating* ……

 

Bakura: I knew it was you! YOU were that scary figure running through the swamp!

 

Dartz: I told you that you couldn't catch me! ^_^

 

Nyoko: Cut to the chase and tell us why the heck we're here >.>

 

Dartz: I can't tell you that, but these people can! Sayonara! *rides off*

 

All: -_- *start walking toward a building that says “Waxtown Saloon” and walk in*

 

People inside: *turn around and stare* 0_o

 

Random hick: We got us some newcomers! HEA HEA!

 

~ While the sexy, skinny Japanese bishies stand there completely freaking out and staring back at the big fat UGLY rednecks, the yamis, authoresses and others are trying to figure out a plot that can get them out of there as soon as possible… ~

 

Other random hicks: *laugh, squeal, burp, fart and get up and start line dancing while slapping their thighs* HEA HEA HEA HEA HEA

 

Bishies: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

Kurama: This is worse than any other Hell I knew existed!!!

 

Kaiba: For someone who doesn't show his emotions well, let me just say this…. THIS IS FUCKING TRAUMATIZING!!!!! *buries himself in his trenchcoat*

 

Kitsune: O_O

 

Bakura: *completely breaks down* DON'T LET ME ROT IN THIS HELLHOLE!!! *starts twitching and blubbers all over Psycho*

 

Psycho: O_o calm the fuck down, people!

 

Ryou: *retreats to the ceiling with FDC while hissing at the rednecks*

 

~ The plot thickens as the fight for humanity between Text-Us hicks and Domino bishies begins… ~

 

+|+|+|+|+|+|+

 

Psycho: O_O wow, okay, that was definitely different…

 

Bakura: e_e you think?

 

FDC: >_>

 

Psycho: Hmm… okay, well, no offence to anyone who lives in Texas… and a note to Rowan Girl, in case you read this, I decided to not put you in it because you didn't want to be in my other fic anymore… hope you're not offended… ^_^

 

FDC: ^_^ bye all! Review!