Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ School's Crazy ❯ Chapter 2: Roommates ( Chapter 2 )

Roommates

 

Drof: Hehheh.

 

BHS: Grrr…

 

Drof: I annoyed her by starting this before I finished the fifth chappie of PI. Well, I'll probably be up real late tonight, so don't worry.

 

BHS: I still hate you.

 

Drof: Whatever. Anyway, this chappie is from Nikio's POV, and then Bakura's POV, then Nikio's again, etc.

 

Disclaimer: Drof is stupid and pathetic and she owns nothing. Stop reading this. Better yet, read it, laugh at her stupidity, and then viciously flame it.

 

Drof: I OWN THE OCS!!!

 

Warnings: Cursing *there IS Bakura here, after all*, slight gayness *there IS Nikio here, after all*, er…stuff.

 

Drof: Oh yeah, just so all you idiots know: This IS in fact a shounen-ai story, which means there WILL be boy/boy pairings. Alright? Don't like, don't read. In this fic, by the way, Tea and Anzu are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Okay? Tea is the normal stupid, friendship-loving, spineless, annoying little bitch we all know and loathe, and Anzu is…er…well, she's Anzu. Not stupid little Miss Friendship. You know, the one with a spine and a brain? That one.

***

Chapter 2: Roommates

 

 

Nikio's POV

 

You know, I had been enjoying having my own room. Then Bakura comes in and takes over the place. I was there first!! I did not like him. Even if he was kinda cute. Agh! He was not cute! He was a jerk! He was completely, utterly, totally uncute!

 

Okay, so maybe he was just a little bit cute. Sort of. A bit. I'm babbling, aren't I? Sorry. Anyway. After about twenty minutes of searching in the closet (during which I utterly failed to find my schedule), I gave up. When I turned around and stood up (I am not going to say `After I came out of the closet'. I am not stupid.), I noticed Bakura sprawled across my bed, snoring.

 

How can one person take up that much of a bed? I mean, seriously! He nearly took up the whole bed!! And it was my bed, no less. Now my sheets were going to smell like him…Damn. I toyed with the idea of lying down beside him, hugging him, and seeing how he reacted when he woke up, but I decided it wasn't worth it. I shuddered at the thought of being in the same bed as that jerk.

 

I'm not judging him unfairly. He is a jerk. From the scene he was making when he came here, you would've thought he was being dragged to his own execution or something. I sincerely pity that other man. I think they're related. They looked related, at any rate. Poor guy.

 

I sighed, and stared balefully at Bakura. I was tired, and he was in my bed. Three days spent cleaning up this room….BHS had decided to have another one of her parties. Seriously, that girl needs help. She spends way too much time getting drunk. Well, she's not as bad as Karasu…He does drugs, too. I can safely say that BHS isn't on crack, which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

 

I wondered if Bakura was a druggie…That would explain a lot. Maybe he was high, and that's why he was making such a commotion. Probably thought the walls were breathing or something…Wonderful. My new roommate was either a psycho or a druggie. I sighed, and flopped down on the other bed.

 

I was almost instantly asleep.

***

Bakura's POV

 

I woke up several hours later, to find Mr. Pretty-boy Perfect sleeping on top of the other bed. He was curled up into a little ball, looking all vulnerable and fragile. Gods, I hate people who sleep like that. Well, okay, maybe just him. I don't know why I hated him, except that I was forced to share my space with him. And he made me nervous. I mean, he could, like, rape me in my sleep or something!!! It was seriously creepy.

 

I got up and wandered around the room. It was so neat! How the hell did he get it this way? It was like he'd spent days cleaning. Then again, to judge from the way he was sleeping (like a f^ckin' stone, I mean, seriously, I doubt a nuclear explosion would have woken him up), he probably had. Weirdo.

 

So, here I was, stuck in a room in a college that wasn't going to be populated for three days, and with a weirdo as my roommate. You know what, nevermind what I said earlier about this maybe not being so bad. It was going to be freaking horrible. Absolutely miserable. Just my luck.

 

You know what? I really, really, really hate Kibano. Truly.

 

I sat for a little while and stared out the window. It was about five in the afternoon, so the sun still blazed cheerily outside.

 

“Damn sun!” I yelled. “Why are you so happy? Life sucks! Stop being cheerful!!” Oh Ra. Was I just yelling at the sun? I must be going crazy…

 

I decided to wake Mr. Pretty-boy up. So, I walked over to him, grabbed him by the shoulders (and damn, his shoulders were narrow. Like a freakin' girl, I swear) and shook him. I was kind of disappointed that he didn't wake up, so I could see how he'd react. Oh well. It was still pretty fun to see his head flopping around like that. I noticed that his hair was getting all messy.

 

I almost felt guilty about that. It would probably take hours, if not days, for him to fix that. Why was his hair so long? It, like, went way past his waist. Almost to his freakin' knees. I mean, damn, who has hair that long? I shook him again a few times, because it was fun to see him flopping around like a ragdoll. It was like he had no bones, or something.

 

Then I realized that he'd probably be pretty pissed at me if he woke up to being shaken like a Rottweiler's chewtoy. Then I wondered why I cared if he was pissed or not. Then I decided that it was better not to make him mad at me, even if he was completely harmless. He could still make my life pretty miserable, even if he didn't hurt me. Rule number one of having a good college life: Never piss off your roommate.

 

So, what had I accomplished? Well, I knew now that Mr. Pretty-boy wasn't going to be woken up. Damn him. Now I had no one to talk to or torment. Why me? I decided that that last one was a thought worth pursuing, so I pursued it.

 

So absorbed was I in my thoughts that I failed to notice the noise outside the room. In fact, I only noticed something was happening when a little blue blur ran into the room, pounced on Nikio, and started shaking him and yelling his name.

 

I stared at it, wondering if it was too late to hide in the closet. My eyes darted around the room as I desperately searched for somewhere to hide from this…creature.

***

Nikio's POV

 

When I woke up, I found BHS sitting on my chest, yelling at me to wake up.

 

Not a pleasant way to be awoken. I remember saying something, though I didn't know what. I figure it was probably a death-threat, because BHS stopped yelling and went sort of pale. She didn't get off of me, though. That was kind of annoying.

 

“BHS,” I said, “what do you want?”

 

“Er…well…” BHS took a deep breath, and I could tell that she was preparing for one of her insanely fast little speeches. “See-me-and-Karasu-were-all-like-messing-around-and-then-Karasu-had-t o-go-home-and-I-was-all-alone-so-I-went-and-read-a-book-only-I-finished-it- and-got-bored-and-so-I-decided-to-talk-to-you-hey-who's-that-guy-there-is-h e-your-boyfriend-or-something-he's-pretty-cute-if-you're-not-dating-him-can -I-have-him?” She paused to breath, and for me to respond.

 

“That guy is Bakura,” I answered her, “and he's my roommate. And he's not cute, he's a jerk.”

 

“You-don't-think-he's-cute-why-not-I-think-he's-pretty-cute ,” BHS babbled.

 

“No, I don't think he's cute. I don't think he's cute because he's not cute,” I informed her. There was no way in hell I was telling her that I thought he was sort of cute, not while he was in the room. I'd tell her later, if I remembered.

 

“Oh-why-not-he-is-really-cute-oh-well-hey-can-I-have-him?&# 8221;

 

“Be my guest.”

 

“Ooh-yeah-what-did-you-say-his-name-was?” she asked me, jumping off of me to cling to Bakura. Ha. Serves him right, the jerk. Then again, I suppose it wasn't very nice of me to sic BHS on him…Oh well. A sudden thought struck me. When BHS was like this, it usually meant…

 

“BHS-the-Tea-isn't-nearby-is-it?” Although I'm ashamed to admit it, I spoke at roughly the same rate as BHS did.

 

“Oh-yeah-she-is-sorry-I-should-have-warned-you.” BHS gave me a cheery grin. I glared at her, and then stared in panic at the door. Tea….I shuddered. I did not like Tea. She kept trying to get me to go out with her. I have, every time, told her in the politest possible way that I will do so when hell freezes over. She has missed this, apparently, every time, because she keeps asking.

 

Before I could do anything (like close the door, lock it, and then pile all the furniture in the room in front of it), into the room ran Tea. She was wearing her usual outfit (short-shorts and a halter-top), with her hair done up in a fairly nice-looking braid (it was about the only thing about her that didn't scream `I'm a slut!'.). Before I could even greet her, she had jumped on top of me and was hugging me hard enough to crack my ribs.

 

“Tea…” I gasped. “Tea….get off…onegai…” `Onegai' means `please'. Yes, I was begging. I couldn't breathe. She was crushing me.

 

“Hey Nikio!” she yelled, grinning, without bothering to let go. “How ya doin'?”

 

“I'd be doing better if you let go…” I wheezed. “Can't….breathe…”

 

“Oh! Sorry!” Tea let go of me and decided to sit on my stomach, which really wasn't much better. Well, I could breathe, at least.

 

“Tea?” I asked, when I wasn't on the verge of passing out from oxygen-deprivation. “Why are you sitting on me?”

 

“Say, who's that guy?” Tea asked, ignoring my question.

 

“My roommate, Bakura.”

 

“Hi, Bakura! Let's be friends!” Oh no, here we go…Another friendship speech. “You know, friends are very important! Without friends, the whole world would be a really unhappy place. So, if we're all friends, then everything will be good and happy!”

 

Have I mentioned that her friendship speeches are probably the most irritating thing on the planet? I consider myself to be a patient person (God knows I try, at any rate), but more than once I have found myself seriously considering murdering Tea and dumping her body in a ditch. No one would blame me, if they ever found out that I did it.

 

But then everyone would have to pretend to miss her. And there was this nasty little thing called `twenty-five to life'. I certainly didn't want to go to prison.

 

At the moment, however, the only thing saving the girl was that she was sitting on me, and I wasn't quite awake enough to move yet. Not with a hundred pounds of irritation sitting on my stomach, at any rate.

 

“Tea,” BHS growled, “get off of him and leave, will ya?”

 

“That's not nice,” Tea admonished. “You should be friendlier.”

 

“F^ck friendship,” BHS replied. “Get off of him, bitch. You're crushing him.” BHS, you are my savior. Hmm…so that's why everything was going dark. I felt a weight being suddenly removed, and found that I could breathe once more. BHS had yanked the Tea off of me. I hugged her, promising eternal love and devotion.

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” BHS waved my babbling aside and turned to Tea, who was sitting on the floor, looking stunned. “Okay, look, bitch, because I'm only explaining this once. I hate you. Nikio hates you, but he's too polite to say so. No one likes you. Go away.”

 

“You…You're not friendly at all!” Tea yelled, tears in her eyes. She stood up and hugged me. “I know she's lying about you hating me,” she said reassuringly. Yeah. I was so reassured. I now knew that the only way I could get Tea to leave me alone was to murder her. “I'm leaving now, since all of you are being so unfriendly!” With this, she walked out.

 

“Good riddance to bad rubbish,” BHS pronounced. “Hey, Nikio, like my outfit?” I hadn't noticed it before. She was wearing her normal jacket, the light-blue one with `ENGLAND' across the front in navy-blue felt letters (I have to admit, I'm rather fond of that one), with the ever-present large tee-shirt underneath (it was black, and I figured it was probably Karasu's. She spends a frightening amount of time stealing his clothes), and a pair of black pants that you usually find in places like Hot Topic (I think that's what it's called). She looked pretty nice.

 

“It's nice,” I told her.

 

“Kara-chan said I looked like a pall-bearer on drugs,” she said.

 

“He's just not nice.”

 

“Yeah…” There was a long moment of silence, during which Bakura's patience rather snapped.

 

“What the hell is going on?” he demanded. “Who the hell are these people?” I sighed. Now I'd have to explain, which meant I had to talk to him. Wonderful, just bloody wonderful.

***

Bakura's POV

 

Okay, so here's what happened: First, some little midget bursts into the room and starts babbling at Nikio. Somehow, he understands it. I, meanwhile, am staring at this girl and wondering how the f^ck there's anyone shorter than Nikio alive. I mean, she's probably not even four and a half feet tall!! Granted, Nikio might be four-ten if he were platform shoes, and that would be stretching it a bit, but she was freakin' tiny!

 

Then this really hot (and far better endowed than this…BHS…person) girl comes in, and jumps on Nikio and starts ranting at him, and then she starts ranting at me about being friends. Stupid bitch. Anyway, then Miss Bitch (BHS) yells at her and chases her off, right about when I was beginning to doze off. Points to the Bitch Chick.

 

And everything's all silent for a while, until I demand to know just what the hell happened. So then Mr. Pretty-boy begins explaining.

 

“Well, this is BHS, a friend of mine. She's…er…BHS.” Oh yeah. That helped. “And that girl was Tea.”

 

“The most annoying little bitch on the planet,” BHS interjected. I barely knew her, but I already thought that she was more of a bitch than this Tea lady, so I rather objected.

 

“She's Anzu's little sister,” Mr. Pretty-boy told me. Oh, yeah, that helped too. Like I knew who Anzu was. “Anzu,” he explained, like he'd read my mind, “is another friend of mine. She's a lot better than Tea.”

 

“She's not a bitch.”

 

“As BHS put it,” Pretty-boy sighed, “she's not a bitch.”

 

“Well,” I said, “yay for her.” BHS stared at me for a moment, and then turned to Pretty-boy.

 

“Y'know,” she said brightly, “he doesn't seem nice.”

 

“You should've heard the commotion he made when he came here,” Pretty-boy sighed.

 

“Oh, that was him? I heard it. He interrupted my reading.” BHS gave me an annoyed look.

 

“What's with the look, midget?” I asked. She glared at me.

 

“Nikio, I'll let you deal with him,” Miss Bitch said, walking out the door. “Try not to mess him up too much.”

 

“I'll try!” Pretty-boy called as she left and closed the door. He turned to me, and I swear that he looked Satanic for a second there. “What to do with you?” he mused to himself.

 

“Leave me alone?” I suggested.

 

“I'll show you around. Unless, of course, you'd rather get lost?” From his tone, I gathered that he'd prefer the second one. Especially, it seemed, if I didn't come back. Well, I wasn't too crazy about him, either, but you didn't hear me trying to get rid of him, now did you?

 

“Sure, why not?” Well, it's not like I had anything better to do! And I'd rather not get lost and have to ask for directions once school started. That would be humiliating. So, I embarked on a tour of the school, led by none other than Mr. Pretty-boy Perfect.

***

Nikio's POV

 

“It wasn't my fault, I swear!” Bakura yelled for the nth time. And, also for the nth time, I didn't respond. I merely stared frigidly at him, not blinking and making it very clear that I felt nothing less than utter disdain for him.

 

“Look, I fell!” he tried to explain. “Okay?”

 

Here's what happened: I was showing him around the courtyard (being the nice person that I am), and he does something. Anyway, he's yelling something and, next thing I know, we're both on the ground and he's laying on top of me. Completely accidental, he says.

 

Okay, I freaked out. Yeah, yeah, I know, that's stupid. I have a very good reason! Not like I was going to tell him, though. No way. So, anyway, for a minute I just sort of stared at him, and then I totally freaked out. I pushed him off of me (somehow. He's heavy!), stood up, grabbed the nearest threatening object (a tree branch), backed away, fell down, and scuttled back, waving the branch at him and warning him to stay away.

 

Like I said, I totally freaked out.

 

After a moment, it sunk in what had happened, and I started yelling that he was trying to rape me. By this time he was mixing apologies with curses at me and the ground and frantic pleas for me to `shut the hell up before someone decides to come see what you're howling about', I believe he put it. I, after a little, managed to regain some semblance of sanity.

 

Enough to realize that my whole front was wet and streaked with mud (it had just rained, you see). I'd just taken a shower, too. So, I started yelling at him for that.

 

He then told me that it was my fault for going around with my shirt unbuttoned like that, at which point I responded that it was hot, and he said that that didn't matter. That's around when I stopped talking to him.

 

So, we were sitting in my room—only it'd be our room now, wouldn't it?—with me being silent and cold and him alternating between apologizing and calling me crazy. It went on like this for awhile, until finally he shut up. At this point, I must admit that I had sort of…stopped paying attention. I was laying back on my bed while he spoke, and I was still pretty tired, so I'd started to doze off.

 

I was almost asleep before he spoke again.

***

Bakura's POV

 

“What the hell is this?” I asked, staring at the object in my hand. It was large, roughly spherical, and green.

 

“It's an apple,” Pretty-boy replied.

 

“Why's it green? Apples are red, dumbass,” I scoffed. Idiot. He didn't even know what color apples were supposed to be. Maybe he wasn't so perfect after all.

 

“Some of them are, and I like the green ones.”

 

“Green apples are sour,” I told him. It's true. They were. You don't want to eat green apples. They're freakin' nasty.

 

“I thought apples were supposed to be red?” I glared at him and told him to shut up. I stared at the apple for a moment longer, then tossed it behind me. From the sound of it, it must have hit Mr. Pretty-boy Perfect.

 

“First you try to rape me,” he said, “and now you're attacking me! What did I ever do to you?”

 

“It was an accident!” I howled. “I slipped and fell! The grass was all wet and slippery, and it was downhill, and I fell!! Why would I wanna rape you, anyway? I'm not gay!” I felt it very necessary to point this little fact out. After all, he might try to hit on me or something if he thought that I might be into guys. Which, of course, I wasn't. Of course, Mr. Pretty-boy Perfect didn't know that.

 

“Besides, even if I was gay, I definitely wouldn't go for a nutcase like you,” I informed him. “You're too insane for me.”

 

He waved a hand at me and then let his arm drop back down to the bed, like it was too much trouble for him to even lift his arm for a few seconds. Lazy bastard.

 

“Are you going to sleep again?” I demanded.

 

“Yes, I am. Don't let anyone in,” Pretty-boy said. I just stared at him for a moment. Had he just told me to do something? Me? There was no way in hell I was taking orders from a guy who was pretty enough to be a Playboy Playmate of the Year.

 

“And why should I listen to you?”

 

“Because,” Pretty-boy explained, “if you don't, I will set you up on a date with Tea. I will also tell the entire school all your embarrassing little secrets.”

 

“Like you know any of my embarrassing secrets.” I wasn't afraid. He barely even knew my name, much less any of my embarrassing secrets.

 

“I can find out.” Okay, maybe I was a bit worried. He sounded pretty sure of his abilities to discover my secrets, and I really didn't want to risk it. I mean, who knows, he might actually do what he said. Earlier incidents have shown him o be completely crazy. I mean, I fall on him and he goes totally bug-shit. Total weirdo.

 

Gods, why him? I mean, out of everyone in the whole damn college, why did I have to get stuck with him as my roommate? I must have really pissed off some higher power. Only divine intervention could possibly cause things to end up this bad. I was about to rant about it when I noticed that Mr. Pretty-boy Perfect had fallen asleep. For some reason, I decided that it wouldn't be nice to begin talking and wake him up.

 

Maybe it was how utterly exhausted he looked, even asleep. I didn't like him, but I'd rather not have him collapsing on me later (literally or figuratively, they were both possible). So, I decided to let him sleep. In the meantime, I decided to explore the room a little more. All I'd really done before was stare out the window and yell at the sun.

 

First of all, I went over to look in the closet. It was definitely not as neat as the room. In fact, it kind of scared me. I stayed away from it, so it couldn't eat me.

 

Next were the two bedside desks. There were two beds, one on each side of the room, and by each was a little nightstand. There was nothing there, except for two identical little lamps, one on each desk, and a bowl of fruit on Pretty-boy's (ha, fruits for the fruit). The beds were just normal beds, nothing weird about them.

 

The floor was mostly clean, except for a few scatter paper and Pretty-boy's shirt, which he'd taken off as soon as we were in the room. He'd fallen asleep before he could put another one on. I think he did it just to annoy me.

 

There were two windows in the room, one by the closet and one right by my bed. They were perfectly normal, with long, wide sills. Perfect for sitting on. Hell, Pretty-boy could've slept on one.

 

The last thing in the room I noticed was the desk in the corner. It was some sort of dark, polished wood, with a bunch of drawers on the side. There were a few papers on it, but it wasn't messy. Really, the room was freakishly neat. I wondered if Pretty-boy was obsessive-compulsive or something. Who knows, maybe he was.

 

Other than that, there was nothing in the room. I sighed and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. After a little, I realized that I was tired too. It had been a long day….I yawned widely, and allowed my eyes to shut. I'd just gotten up a couple of hours ago, but I was tired again. Besides, it was nighttime….

 

I fell asleep, all the events of the day still fresh in my mind.

***

Drof: Chappie two! A day after I posted chappie one!! You should all worship and adore me for this. But you're all going to yell at me instead, aren't you?

 

BHS: Stop complaining. I let you do the second chappie without hurting you. Be happy.

 

Drof: Oh yeah, I should worship you. You let me do my job—how noble of you.

 

BHS: ^^ Exactly.

 

Drof: ¬.¬ Sarcasm, idiot.

 

BHS: I'm ignoring it.

 

Drof: That's not very nice.

 

BHS: Oh well. Why does everyone keep sleeping so much?

 

Drof: I'm tired, that's why.

 

BHS: Ohh…If you were hungry, would everyone be eating constantly?

 

Drof: No, they'd all be starving to death.

 

BHS: Nice.

 

Drof: Shut up!!

 

BHS: I suppose now you're going to tell everyone to review…

 

Drof: I am. Everyone: REVIEW!!!!! Oh, and Arctic: REVIEW ALREADY!!!