Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Advice...YYH style ❯ Hiei ( Chapter 16 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: SiriousB1 
Hiei's having more love struggles.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.20.2004 | Updated On: 03.20.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.0K | Visits: 197 | Status: Completed
Hiei's having more love struggles.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 03.20.2004 | Updated On: 03.20.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.0K | Visits: 197 | Status: Completed
Thank you to Dil for your character and question. It’s good to have you back; you always did have the best questions. No offense to anyone else. (Okay, OFFENSE! OFFENSE!!)
Dear SiriousB1,
::Ahem::
I can’t believe I’ve been reduced to this. Again.
I’ve appropriated an e-mail address so I can “Stop wasting [Kurama’s] paper. It’s needed for homework.” Foolish ningen school, stupid ningen computer contraption, idiot ningens. Don’t mock me, fool! I’m in no mood for this so soon after typing class! However, I must ask your advice yet again. After the incomparable advice given Kuwabara, I hold you in a position of grudging respect.
I’ve found myself with rather…disturbing feelings towards my teammate. It’s not usually in my nature, and I find it irritating. Every time, every battle, I am distracted by the beauty of his sun-set colored hair, the grace of his movements, the skill with which he handles his weapon. I feel honored to watch him, and it annoys the hell out of me. I end up getting irritated with him, and that’s not fair to him. But what can I do? He’s just so…obvious! I’m not really sure, to be honest, what I’d do if he showed any sign that he knew of, or returned, my affections, but honestly!
Ah, my beautiful Kuwabara.
What do I do, Advice Monkey? He’s infatuated with my sister, for crying out loud. I try to guide him away from her; it’s not that I don’t he loves her, only that I don’t think she’ll return his love. That wouldn’t really be good for him, you know? It would break his heart, and mine to see him that way.
If you ever tell anyone about any of this, I’ll disembowel you with a plastic spork and feed your innards to a ravenous badger.
How do I tell him how I feel without coming off like a love-struck Ningen Fool? I tried a little when he had us try to unstuck him from Yuusuke, but he was so worried, and Kurama was trying desperately not to laugh, Yuusuke was…vacant, and the moment never came around.
Well, Ningen Freak? What do I do?
Signed,
BlackShadow@makai.org
Dear BlackShadow@makai.org,
Well, welcome back to the World of Desperate Advice Column Writers. It’s good to have you. (Eww, not that way! That’s saved for Kurama!) Congratulations on “mastering” the human contraption known as the computer. It makes everything easier. And, if you fuck anything up, you can blame it on the computer instead of your handwriting. I feel sorry that you had to sit through typing lessons. I mean, really! I hate it when demons like you try so hard to type, but always have the knowledge that you’ll never beat my fast typing speed. (That is 74 w.p.m. Well, if you’re a secretary I suppose you could beat that, but most freshmen in high school that I know can barely get passed 23 w.p.m. using home row…yet, they can max 30 using one or two fingers…)
Getting on with your problems, what a toughie. If I remember correctly, last time you wrote something about loving Mae, and before that your sister. I don’t pay enough attention to this crap to remember if you mentioned something about Kurama. Oh well, that just shows how human you’ve become. I mean, jumping from person just to get some SEX. BWAHAHAHAHA…ahem, excuse me. So, anyway, your attraction to Kuwabara seems quite natural. You know what they say, opposites attract. I mean, think about it. Short and tall. Quiet and loud. Mysterious shadow and bumbling oaf. And, most of all, yokai and ningen. What better way to kick off a relationship that to notice your differences? *cough cough cough*
I’d say it’s virtually impossible to tell him your feelings without coming off soft. Love is mostly a human emotion, so few demons ever have to suffer through it. To confess your love is a tricky thing, like it or not. I still think telling people outright is the best thing you can do, but being discreet can work wonders when planned strategically. A long, angst-y love note, perhaps? Signed from the “Black Shadow” so he knows that it couldn’t possibly be from your sister.
Speaking of your sister, that might be a good way to get it implanted into your crush’s head. Since he’ll listen to her, explain to her your situation. You don’t have to admit that you’re her brother or anything, just tell her your feelings. Then, have her lay them out clear as day (or night, if you prefer) to Kuwabara and see what he does. This is a good way to approach the problem if you feel that you cannot tell him yourself. Kind of reminds me of all those crappy socials and dances we had at middle school. All my friends would come up to me and say, “Will you ask so-and-so if they’ll dance with me?” or something gay like that. God, I hated that! Because, who comes off looking like a dumbshit if the person’s answer is “no”? ME! But, that’s a little off topic…
So, I think talking about it with Yukina would be best. That way, he’ll only have to pass out instead of dying of a heart attack should you tell him personally. You can try either way if you want. Whatever.
And, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about this. I’m only posting it online for the whole world to read. So, technically, I’m not TELLING anyone. Heh.
Hope this goes well, and, I wonder, how did Yuusuke’s hair problem turn out? I hear he has a great new haircut…
Sincerely,
The Advice Monkey
Dear SiriousB1,
::Ahem::
I can’t believe I’ve been reduced to this. Again.
I’ve appropriated an e-mail address so I can “Stop wasting [Kurama’s] paper. It’s needed for homework.” Foolish ningen school, stupid ningen computer contraption, idiot ningens. Don’t mock me, fool! I’m in no mood for this so soon after typing class! However, I must ask your advice yet again. After the incomparable advice given Kuwabara, I hold you in a position of grudging respect.
I’ve found myself with rather…disturbing feelings towards my teammate. It’s not usually in my nature, and I find it irritating. Every time, every battle, I am distracted by the beauty of his sun-set colored hair, the grace of his movements, the skill with which he handles his weapon. I feel honored to watch him, and it annoys the hell out of me. I end up getting irritated with him, and that’s not fair to him. But what can I do? He’s just so…obvious! I’m not really sure, to be honest, what I’d do if he showed any sign that he knew of, or returned, my affections, but honestly!
Ah, my beautiful Kuwabara.
What do I do, Advice Monkey? He’s infatuated with my sister, for crying out loud. I try to guide him away from her; it’s not that I don’t he loves her, only that I don’t think she’ll return his love. That wouldn’t really be good for him, you know? It would break his heart, and mine to see him that way.
If you ever tell anyone about any of this, I’ll disembowel you with a plastic spork and feed your innards to a ravenous badger.
How do I tell him how I feel without coming off like a love-struck Ningen Fool? I tried a little when he had us try to unstuck him from Yuusuke, but he was so worried, and Kurama was trying desperately not to laugh, Yuusuke was…vacant, and the moment never came around.
Well, Ningen Freak? What do I do?
Signed,
BlackShadow@makai.org
Dear BlackShadow@makai.org,
Well, welcome back to the World of Desperate Advice Column Writers. It’s good to have you. (Eww, not that way! That’s saved for Kurama!) Congratulations on “mastering” the human contraption known as the computer. It makes everything easier. And, if you fuck anything up, you can blame it on the computer instead of your handwriting. I feel sorry that you had to sit through typing lessons. I mean, really! I hate it when demons like you try so hard to type, but always have the knowledge that you’ll never beat my fast typing speed. (That is 74 w.p.m. Well, if you’re a secretary I suppose you could beat that, but most freshmen in high school that I know can barely get passed 23 w.p.m. using home row…yet, they can max 30 using one or two fingers…)
Getting on with your problems, what a toughie. If I remember correctly, last time you wrote something about loving Mae, and before that your sister. I don’t pay enough attention to this crap to remember if you mentioned something about Kurama. Oh well, that just shows how human you’ve become. I mean, jumping from person just to get some SEX. BWAHAHAHAHA…ahem, excuse me. So, anyway, your attraction to Kuwabara seems quite natural. You know what they say, opposites attract. I mean, think about it. Short and tall. Quiet and loud. Mysterious shadow and bumbling oaf. And, most of all, yokai and ningen. What better way to kick off a relationship that to notice your differences? *cough cough cough*
I’d say it’s virtually impossible to tell him your feelings without coming off soft. Love is mostly a human emotion, so few demons ever have to suffer through it. To confess your love is a tricky thing, like it or not. I still think telling people outright is the best thing you can do, but being discreet can work wonders when planned strategically. A long, angst-y love note, perhaps? Signed from the “Black Shadow” so he knows that it couldn’t possibly be from your sister.
Speaking of your sister, that might be a good way to get it implanted into your crush’s head. Since he’ll listen to her, explain to her your situation. You don’t have to admit that you’re her brother or anything, just tell her your feelings. Then, have her lay them out clear as day (or night, if you prefer) to Kuwabara and see what he does. This is a good way to approach the problem if you feel that you cannot tell him yourself. Kind of reminds me of all those crappy socials and dances we had at middle school. All my friends would come up to me and say, “Will you ask so-and-so if they’ll dance with me?” or something gay like that. God, I hated that! Because, who comes off looking like a dumbshit if the person’s answer is “no”? ME! But, that’s a little off topic…
So, I think talking about it with Yukina would be best. That way, he’ll only have to pass out instead of dying of a heart attack should you tell him personally. You can try either way if you want. Whatever.
And, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about this. I’m only posting it online for the whole world to read. So, technically, I’m not TELLING anyone. Heh.
Hope this goes well, and, I wonder, how did Yuusuke’s hair problem turn out? I hear he has a great new haircut…
Sincerely,
The Advice Monkey