Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ After the Fall ❯ A Painful Separation ( Chapter 13 )

I love you.

Botan's tearful whisper of devotion kept replaying in Kurama's head as he walked slowly back towards the fairgrounds, trudging along, his body on autopilot. He paid no attention to the constant downpour of the rain that cascaded down his perfect face. The coldness of nature's tears could not penetrate the awareness of the broken hearted kitsune. The only woman he had ever wanted to spend his life with was lost to him. He would never again be able to hold her in his arms, to comfort her, to kiss her as he had a few minutes ago.

He smiled softly, reliving the memory. Never had he felt such tenderness, such need as when his lips had pressed against hers, the deity's response full of an intensity that rivaled his own. The kiss had awakened feelings long thought dormant and he pondered how long had it been since he had felt the touch of a female. How long since he had felt loved and desired. Too long. In his former life, his relationships had been casual, brokered out of mutual need and nothing else. No love ever blossomed from such matings. But now, in this life, Kurama had found his better half. His soul mate. And she would be denied to him simply because they were from different worlds. The injustice of it angered him. The thought of never seeing her again sickened his heart and wounded his mind.

Kurama hung his head as he quickened his pace, his features full of misery, the reality more than he could bear. I had to let her go. Even though it was the last thing I wanted. It is better this way. Better for both of us. He reasoned. I could not endure her death. Even at the cost of my heart and our future. He replied, trying to rationalize the situation only to wince at the sudden intensity of his demon half's voice shouting at him.

Stupid boy! You could easily defeat any one of those Reikai scum that sought to end her life. With my help there is no one you could not defeat!

She would hate me for it. Kurama countered, even as he continued onward. And that is the last thing I want.

The last thing you want! Youko repeated disdainfully. What is it you want Suuichi? To forever remain alone?! To not be loved by her?! Because if that's the case, you certainly don't deserve her. He snarled, his voice suddenly turning soft, switching tactics as he continued. But then why should you have her. Why should you be the one to hold her in your arms and give her the love she deserves. You certainly haven't earned the right or the privilege. Never shown much initiative. Just watched her furtively like a love sick school boy!

That's not true and you know it! Kurama growled, growing angry. I have loved Botan from the moment I laid eyes on her. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. No challenge I wouldn't meet. If I could keep her at my side I would do so.

Youko gave an approving laugh. Then let's go get her back.

Get her back?

Let's go to Reikai and put Koenma in his place! To hell with their stupid rules anyway! They're no better than we are! His other personality replied. Or do you like the idea of Botan spending her life alone or worse yet find one of her own kind that could give her what she needs. A man who doesn't run away from his feelings and gives all that is asked of him and more. How does that make you feel Kurama? The thought of Botan in another man's arms ?!

Kurama could not give answer to the voice. Could not reply to his more impulsive half, the thought of Botan with another man sending a jolt of pain and jealously into his heart, blackening his vision, his emotions filtering through his defenses, releasing a wave of torment that washed through his veins like hot fire, cruel and endless. His mind a dizzying whirlwind of painful answers to questions he had not wanted to face. Truths he had never taken into account. The fox spirit had believed Botan would always love him. Him and him alone. Would she now abandon him so readily? Even after what she had said to him? The words of promise she had given. He wanted to believe she would remain faithful. Hoped her words were the truth.

Calming himself, Kurama focused. "She said she would come back. She promised." He replied out loud, as if trying to convince himself that was the truth. But the tremor in his voice spoke of a doubt that had long since plagued him. What right did he have to Botan? What right did he have to love her? None and he knew it. All too well.

Do you really believe that Suuichi? His darker self asked. Do you really believe she will return to you. Even now, after all that has happened, do you honestly think Koenma will let her be with you? The truth is she won't come back. We both know this. Face it boy, Botan is lost to you!

Kurama clenched his jaw, stemming back the tide of despair that threatened to consume him. He shook his head violently, not wanting to listen to his darker half anymore. "I will not listen!" The kitsune shouted as he began to run, to run away from the truth of his own words. "I will not!" He repeated with a roar, flying through the woods, ignoring the searing pain of wet branches smacking across his chest and arms, the agony nothing compared to his tortured heart and soul that cried out for Botan and a love that would never be.

********

That was all too perfect.

Ailia smiled wickedly as she walked briskly toward the parking lot of Kaitaki park, reveling in the discord she had created between the kitsune and the ferry girl. The look of pain on the deity's face had been priceless. Botan had caught her would be lover with another woman and just like the naive girl she was, had run away without sticking around to confront them. Foolish little girl. She thought in disdain. Not even willing to stick around and fight for him. Ailia's smile broadened. And now that Koenma knows of her plan to forfeit her right in spirit world, he will forbid her from ever setting foot into this realm again. She thought with a triumphant glare, her mood becoming more excited as her thoughts shifted to her altercation with Kurama. Her telepathic imagery had worked like a charm on the kitsune. When at last she had tasted his lips, she found them delectable, leaving her aching for more. For him.

And yet he had resisted her, even when she had tricked him, he had known something was not quite right. That had irked her to no end. Ailia's features grew tight at the strong will the kitsune had. The steadfast devotion to a woman he had no claim to. Gnashing her teeth, she remembered the powerful emotions of love Kurama felt for Botan resonating within his heart and mind. Botan was the only woman he wanted. The only one he would willingly give himself to. But willingly was the key word. Ailia would find a way to make the kitsune hers. Even if it was in a dream state she would have him. She would not be denied from her craving. And with the deity out of the way, he will be more susceptible to mental intrusions, his depression will play right into my hands.

"I've met some sick tickets in my time but you take the cake lady." A richly masculine voiced growled lowly from behind her causing Ailia to stop.

The dark haired woman turned slowly around, her pretty features twisted in mild surprise. Malicious blue eyes met the angry red ones of Hiei who stood a few feet away, a pissed off Yusuke a few feet behind him.

"I don't like it when beings like you take advantage of people in their weakened state. So if you think I'm going to let you hurt Kurama and his ferry girl with your perverted desires you've got another thing coming!"

How interesting. Ailia thought as she studied her opponents, both men with greater strength than her own. But their mental defenses were another thing all together. While Yusuke had tremendous spiritual energy, his mental defense was so weak any decent telepath could counter his strength with psychic attacks. Hiei, on the other hand, had erected so many defensive walls that his mind was unreadable, impenetrable. Dammit! I can't beat him as I am. Not yet anyway. "What's this I hear, actual concern coming from the lips of a fire demon. And one known to be merciless no less." She sneered looking down in disdain at the fire Koorime. "What ever happened to the darker Hiei. The one who lusted after pain and fear."

Hiei's eyes widened for half a second before narrowing, his features growing dangerous. "You know me well." He began with a soft voice, his eyes focused intently on hers. "But you see, I know you as well. Or should I say your kind."

Yusuke frowned, not understanding where this conversation was going. "What the hell are you talking about Hiei?! Let's fight her already!" He growled, stepping forward challengingly, his features twisting in displeasure when Hiei stretched out his left arm in front of the dark haired man, signaling him to stop. "Why did you stop me?" He asked heatedly.

Hiei's eyes never left Ailia's as he answered, having read the situation in a way the boy could not. "There are too many witnesses Yusuke. Too many innocents could get hurt or killed if we fought here today." He answered before adding. "Besides, she wants us to fight her, to cause a scene that would get us in trouble with Koenma."

Ailia smiled. "You're quite a mind reader Hiei. I dare say I'm impressed." She admitted backing away slightly.

Hiei's features grew dark. "Flattery won't work on me witch." He said in a deep voice. "Neither will your telepathic attacks. You may have tricked Kurama but you won't me."

At this the woman laughed. "Your telepathic abilities are without a doubt formidable. But you have barely scratched the surface of my mind. The only way you're going to get me to talk is to kill me. And since I don't particularly feel like dying today, I'm going to let you boys walk away. That is if you know what's good for you."

"That's it!" Yusuke shouted, rushing wide of Hiei, changing his direction in the blink of an eye as he charged straight for the Ailia.

Hiei yelled at Yusuke to stop but the young man didn't listen. "Your mouth is starting to piss me off! So take this!" The dark haired detective, brought his fist forward at lightening speed coming within a few inches of Ailia's face only to suddenly find him self lifted off his feet, his body hurtling backwards at rate too quick to see. The impact of this attack sending the detective into the wooded landscape, the sound of branches snapping in his wake.

Hiei watched Yusuke crash roughly into the woods. Dammit! He growled inwardly as he whirled back around to face Ailia only to cry out as a brilliant light erupted before him, burning his retinas, blinding him with it's intensity.

The fire demon clenched his eyes shut instantly, holding back the tears of pain as the burning sensation intensified. He dropped onto the ground, resting on his back side as his legs sprawled out before him. Reaching up, Hiei began to rub his eyes furiously. Another damn trick! He roared mentally, angered at his stupidity. I should have known she would pull something like this!

Dropping his hand, the fire Koorime began to open and close his eyelids slowly, grimacing as his vision painfully began to return to him. The blackness faded, giving way to the gray hued sky and the constant streaks of water that fell from the heavens and crashed down all around him.

Yusuke meanwhile, thrashed about in the brush, cursing violently as he struggled to his feet. Reaching up, he pulled several twigs and leaves out of his hair, tossing them savagely to the side before rushing back into the open area. His surprised eyes fell upon Hiei who still remained seated upon the water logged grass. The detective hurried forward to the demon's side, his features puzzled. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked, watching as the smaller man rose to his feet.

"That witch used a psychic flash bomb on me." He replied curtly, still aggravated at the strength of the attack.

Yusuke however was confused. "What the hell is a psychic flash bomb?"

Hiei growled, growing tired of having to explain everything to the taller man. "It's a defensive technique that blinds the aggressor with an intense light created from spiritual energy." He answered shortly. "I can't believe you didn't learn any of this information while you trained in Makai."

Yusuke looked away. "Yeah well, I probably did. I just don't remember right now." He replied, studying the surroundings. "So where did that lady go?"

"She got away." Hiei said flatly. "And before I could find out her name."

Yusuke looked back at the fire apparition, a frown upon his countenance. "She said she wasn't going to talk. So what made you think you would find out her name?"

"I was certain I would have found out if I had more time. But really I couldn't get past her mental defenses. She was right, in that I had only skimmed the surface of her mind. I only managed to read her thoughts briefly because she was distracted. I still have no idea who she is. But I do know this. She lusts after Kurama and hates anything to do with spirit world. This won't be the last time we meet." Hiei answered in a dark tone as he began to walk back to the fair grounds. "Come on Yusuke. We need to find Kurama. Make sure he's all right."

Yusuke stood still for a few seconds, a look of concern etched on his face before he caught up to the smaller man, walking on his right side. "You don't sense anything wrong with him do you?"

Hiei took a few seconds before replying. "Physically he'll survive, it's his state of mind I'm more concerned about." He answered at last.

"What do you mean?"

Hiei didn't elaborate. "Just shut up and follow me detective okay." He growled, entering Kaitaki park once again, Yusuke in tow.

******

Kurama continued to run, closer and closer towards the sounds of civilization, his legs pushing tiredly forward, his body bruised from the relentless pounding of the tree branches that poked out at odd angles, one nearly taking out his left eye as it smacked into his forehead, splitting the skin open and release a flood of crimson that flowed slowly down the side of his face. His hands were scraped and bloody from the jagged rocks he had nearly fallen upon as he raced onward. His sculpted body was slicked with sweat, blood and rain as he pushed himself beyond his limits. Pain rose in nauseating waves, every muscle screaming in fatigue, for relief from the endless torture. But Kurama ignored his body's protest, his grief and anger at the thought of Botan never returning to him fueling his adrenaline. He didn't want to stop, didn't want to feel better. How could he ever be the same after this. Botan was lost to him. Lost!

Such thoughts frightened him. Such intense emotion overwhelmed his mind, sending him on a painful journey into the deepened wood as he sought release from the doubt and torment his heart was going through. But no answers comforted him. No longer was he the calm, reserved man he had known, able to keep his emotions in check. In his place stood a coward, too weak to fight for what he wanted, too unsure of himself to believe he was worthy of her. He hated himself at the moment and was punishing his body as a result.

When at last the kitsune cleared the forest, he found himself on the outskirts of Kaitaki park, far from the festivities that had begun to pick up as the rain finally stopped and the clouds began to dissipate. With a shaky hand, Kurama reached up and wiped away the blood that continued to seep from the open wound. Lowering his hand, his pained eyes strayed down to the blood soaked palm, images flashing before him. Of the demons he had killed when he had been known as Youko Kurama. Of the many treasures he had stolen without thought or pity towards the rightful owners.

How many have died at my hand? How many lives have I destroyed simply because they had something I wanted or despised? He wondered as he continued to stare downward, his despair welling inside his heart.

"It does you no good to brood on the events of the past Kurama."

The kitsune did not turn towards the sound of Hiei's voice that floated softly in the still air, his eyes still fixated on his hands. "It seems the past has begun to catch up with me Hiei." He replied in a murmur. "My history is written in the blood of countless lives. In the dark deeds I have committed. This is all I am. All I'll ever be. A beast in the form of a man. Unworthy of being loved."

Hiei frowned, turning towards Yusuke who came to stand beside the fire demon.

"Ah come on Kurama," The dark haired detective began in a gentle tone, his features saddened. "You know that you're more than that. It's all part of your past. You've changed, become more human than anyone else here."

Kurama sighed, dropping his hands to his sides. "No Yusuke. My past is part of who I am. It has shaped how I have chosen to live. I just ... never thought I would have to visit that dark path again."

Hiei's brow furrowed deeply as he understood what the kitsune was talking about. "I see." He murmured, turning back to Yusuke who addressed him.

"What are you talking about Kurama?" The young man asked, clearly confused.

Hiei answered for him. "Kurama's emotions were unleashed a small while ago and the kitsune was having trouble dealing with it. It seems his Youko self pushed him to the edge of the truth, revealing the pain and anger that has been swelling quietly in his heart for some time now." He said with a shake of his head. "Koenma took her back to Reikai didn't he?"

Kurama nodded but didn't elaborate the circumstances surrounding her leaving.

"What's the big deal about that?" Yusuke asked. "That's where she lives isn't it?"

Hiei snorted. "And that's where she will forever remain." He said in disgust as he saw the events of the past few hours through Kurama's eyes. He felt sorry for his friend and anger towards the lord of Reikai. "It seems Koenma has threatened Kurama eternal damnation if he ever tries to make Botan a part of his life. And it seems that Botan will be killed if she doesn't comply with some rule about those of spirit world developing relationships outside of their own realm." He spat, shaking his head.

"What!" Yusuke shouted. "What the hell kind of stupid rule is that?!"

"My thoughts exactly." Hiei said with a smirk as his red eyes focused on Kurama. "If Kurama truly loved the ferry girl, he wouldn't let a silly little rule get in his way."

Kurama's head jerked suddenly to the side, his eyes aflame in a gold glow as he glared at the smaller demon. "I'd watch what you'd say Hiei." Youko's cold voice growled causing Hiei to smirk and Yusuke to frown in uncertainty.

"So Youko you make an appearance at last. How interesting."

Kurama snorted. "We are the same Hiei, Suuichi and I. We both want the same thing."

"The ferry girl."

"Her name is Botan, Hiei." Youko said in a hard voice. "And I would prefer you address her as such unless of course you want that smirk pounded into your face."

Hiei laughed. "I like this side of you Kurama. Such brutal honesty is lacking from your human side."

Kurama's eyes returned to their normal emerald hue, regaining control, his features sorrowful and his tone saddened. "I really wish you didn't provoke me Hiei. I don't like that side of myself very much right now."

Hiei shook his head. "Yet you were so easily affected by the words of that side Kurama. If it depresses you so to hear such talk, why bother to listen?"

Kurama clenched his eyelids and his jaw shut, fighting back the mournful scream that wanted to escape from his lips. He couldn't ignore the words of his darker half because in reality it was him who was saying it. He was at war with himself. Two different sides of the same man. One who couldn't and wouldn't let go of a dream while the other couldn't get past the pain of what he felt did not belong to him. He suddenly felt weak. Weak and fragile. And uncertain. His self doubt filling him with an all consuming despair that threatened to swallow him into a sea of darkness. A never ending hell of what ifs and what could have beens. He didn't want to talk, didn't want his friends to know how badly his sudden separation from Botan was effecting him. He just wanted to be left alone with his grief. To go home, crawl into his bed and die.

"Kurama?" Hiei spoke in a low tone meant to catch the kitsune's attention. When the red haired man didn't so much as flinch, the fire apparition switched to telepathic communication and in an overbearing mental voice roared, WILL YOU STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE KITSUNE!

"Leave me alone Hiei." Kurama countered softly as he began to turn away from them. "I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to go home."

"Why?" Hiei demanded verbally. "So you can wallow in your misery? Get a hold of yourself Kurama. Now is not the time to be getting all emotional. There are other things you should be considering."

Kurama began to walk forward. "Botan is the only thing that matters to me right now. The only thing worth consideration and my time."

"And I suppose that woman who put the moves on you is of no importance." Hiei called out as he watched his friend continue onward. "Did you know she was telepathic Kurama. She saw your wants, your desires. Everything and anything. She knows you want Botan. Knows that you love her and has decided to exploit that weakness. She wants you Kurama. And as you are you will be unable to stop her from getting her way."

Kurama frowned, recalling the incident in the fun house, his features a mix of pain and loathing as he stopped and turned around. "What did you see? What is it she wants with me?" He asked sharply.

Hiei let out a sigh and turned away. "This woman has the ability to completely dominate your mind Kurama. If she chose to that is." He answered softly. "In regards to your second question. I'm afraid it's your body she wants." He replied, turning back to the kitsune an almost amused expression on his face, which the demon quickly squashed. His friend was in pain and he shouldn't be so amused. Still, it made him want to laugh at the shocked expression Kurama exhibited. After all, the kitsune wasn't as high and proper as he seemed to be. There was a side to Kurama that was just as lustful towards Botan as the strange woman who attacked the red haired man was towards him. Not that Kurama would ever admit to it or act on it for that matter. But it was hard to hide such things from a telepath like Hiei and it was only out of respect for his best friend's feelings that he decided not to tease him. "I wouldn't be surprised if she lulled you into a waking dream and seduced you in your own bed without you any wiser. "

Kurama blanched at the thought. No! His mind cried in anger. I will not allow it. I will not be used like some plaything for some twisted demon's desire to have me. "Is that what you truly saw Hiei? Is it possible she's that strong?"

Hiei nodded. "Believe me. Her spiritual energy may not be as high as our own, but her psychic energy more than makes up for it. You need to visit Genkai and get some lessons in mind blocks and mental defenses," He answered before adding with a sigh of disbelief. "Really Kurama I can't believe someone with your intelligence never worked on this before."

"I never felt the need to do so." Kurama answered softly. "I've never met anyone capable of inflicting damage on me in a psychic manner."

"Well those days are over Kurama." Hiei said with a shake of his head. "You have to learn how defend yourself from mental assaults. Just as you have to find a way around Koenma's threat. That is if you truly ever want to be happy again." He added, turning to Yusuke who spoke suddenly and with confidence.

"Hey let me go talk to pacifier breath Kurama. Get the lowdown on why he's so dead set against you being with Botan. Maybe I can change his mind."

Kurama shook his head lightly. "I don't recommend that Yusuke. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble because of me."

Yusuke grinned at him. "This is me were talking about Kurama. I live for trouble!" He replied, rushing up and past the kitsune.

"Yusuke wait!" Kurama shouted, drawing the detective's attention.

The dark haired man, skidded to a stop and turned around, looking at him expectantly.

Kurama hesitated at first, unsure if he should ask it of his friend. At last he gave a small sigh and spoke. "If you see Botan ... Would you ... Tell her I will never forget her promise. Tell her ... I will wait until the last of my days upon this earth for her. Will you do this for me Yusuke?"

Yusuke gave him a thumbs up. "Sure." He said with a smile. "But something tells me you won't have to wait that long Kurama." He added before sprinting off once again towards the tented confines of Kaitaki park and out of sight.

"You know Kurama it should be you going to Reikai to plead your case don't you?" Hiei said. "After all it is your ferry girl were talking about here. Aren't you curious to know why Koenma is so desperate to keep you away from her?"

Kurama hung his head, his features troubled. "He said she would be killed." He spoke softly and with great pain. "Remember Hiei, Koenma isn't the only one with power in that realm. There are several others as well. Beings I have never seen before but do exist."

"Hn." Hiei sounded, not really caring to know more about the spirit realm. "I think there is more to it than that Kurama. There's something toddler boy is hiding from you and Botan."

Kurama brought his head up to look over at his friend. "Did you see something in his mind Hiei?" He asked in a hopeful voice.

Hiei shook his head. "Koenma is too far away for me to read anything." He answered, tossing the kitsune a disapproving look as he added, "And, unlike someone I know, has managed to learn mental defenses of his own."

Kurama sighed as if suffering a great burden. "I know Hiei. Okay? " He replied in annoyance before adding with a small smile, "I'll go see Genkai tomorrow."

Hiei gave him an approving nod. "See that you do." He said gruffly. The fire apparition moved forward and past the kitsune. "Don't give into the darkness Kurama. Depression will only bring you more misery than you've already suffered. Be strong. For her sake." He added before disappearing into fairgrounds.

Kurama watched his friend go before tilting his head back, his features becoming determined as he studied the few remaining clouds from the passing storm. I must be strong. For her sake. He thought to himself as he continued to stare up into the sky. Botan don't worry. He called out to her in his mind. I will be all right. As long as you still love me. I will be all right.

********

Botan didn't know how long she had sitting in her room, staring out the opened window as the sun of Reikai began to set behind the imposing mountain range. No sooner had she arrived back home, then the deity had turned away from Koenma, not wanting to talk or look at him. At first the deity thought of turning around and giving her boss a piece of her mind. But a sudden thought came to her and she quickly pursed her lips, refusing to talk to him. He expected it, possibly even wanted her to lash out at him, as if that would solve the problem he had created. The wall he had forced between her and the only man she had ever loved made her want to strangle him. Treating her as if she was some prize, some untouchable flower to be admired but never loved. So she ignored his words, walking away and into her room a few minutes later, sinking onto the edge of her bed, her heart broken and her mind troubled.

Botan's eyes filled with tears as she thought back to the way Kurama had looked at her with such pain and grief as if it were the last time they would ever see each other. Would it be the last time they ever saw each other? No. She refused to believe that Kurama would never be part of her life again.

Her thoughts shifted to the woods outside the fairgrounds. She had been shocked to find him in such a weakened physical state, his body bruised and battered. She could scarcely believe that Kurama had allowed himself to suffer just to find her and tell her the truth. It showed he truly loved her more than life itself. For what man would risk death to find someone just to tell them they were sorry? Her features softened as she thought back to the way he had touched her with such trembling sweetness she had wanted to fall into his arms and kiss his pain away. And fall she did, remembering the need that flared in his emerald eyes as they stared at one another with the barest of space between them. But at the last second, Kurama had turned away, denying her the feel of his lips upon hers.

But that wasn't entirely true.

The deity reached up and idly brushed her finger tips against her swollen lips, remembering the kiss Kurama had given before she had left with Koenma. So tender at first, as if he was afraid he might hurt her, only to deepen it when Botan had responded so intensely. In that kiss he had told her everything. His love, his desire, his longing. And she had responded in the same manner, pouring all her emotion into the moment, never wanting it to end. When at last he had pulled away, she wanted to reach out and pull him back to her but had realized Koenma was watching them and so she relented and returned back to Reikai with her employer.

She ignored the gentle rap on her bedroom door, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Ayame enter her room.

The research assistant looked over to the head ferry girl with saddened eyes. She could understand and even sympathize with the deity's situation. Why does Lord Koenma insist on doing this to her? I don't understand? She thought as she shuffled quietly over to her. "Miss Botan?" The dark haired woman addressed politely, crossing her hands in front of her as she waited for the deity to acknowledge her existence.

Botan flinched, turning her head to the side, her wistful features turning quickly to curious ones. "Ayame what are you doing here?" She asked, reaching up to wipe away a few tears that had escaped from her eyes earlier.

Ayame gave her a slight bow. "Lord Koenma requests your presence in his office Miss Botan."

Botan stiffened at the mention of the toddler lord's name. "I don't want to speak with him right now. Tell him I'm busy."

Ayame bit her lip, not wanting to upset her. "Actually Miss Botan. It seems Yusuke has requested your presence as well. He claims he has something to tell you regarding Kurama."

The deity jumped to her feet, her features twisting into concern. "What's the matter? Is he all right?!"

Ayame shook her head. "I don't think anything is wrong. More like he has a message for you."

Botan let out a great sigh of relief, her eyes becoming confused. Then if he's okay why is Yusuke here? She wondered.

"Shall we go?" Ayame asked softly.

Botan nodded, following the assistant out of the room. The two women walked silently down the darkened corridor, until at last they reached Koenma's office.

Ayame quietly twisted the knob, pushing the door open, allowing both women access to the inside.

Curious amethyst eyes met the somber brown ones of Yusuke who gave her a small nod before returning his attention back to the red chair in front of Koenma's desk. Botan walked slowly over to Yusuke's side just as Ayame came to stand to the left of Koenma. The deity glanced over at her employer, wondering why he was still in his adult form. He did not acknowledge her presence at first, as if he was afraid to look at her. Instead his irritated brown eyes remained focused squarely on Yusuke who met his gaze with one of controlled anger.

"Why are you here Yusuke? I didn't send for you?" Koenma began sharply, trying hard to be imposing, which didn't work at all on his spirit detective who scoffed at him.

"You should know why Koenma. After what you've done."

Koenma leaned back in his chair, his eyes full of sadness and regret as he studied him. "What I did was for the best Yusuke."

"That's a bunch of bull and you know it Koenma!" Yusuke shouted, causing Botan and Ayame to jump while Koenma stared in disbelief at his employee.

"I beg your pardon." The toddler lord murmured, shocked at the dark haired man's behavior.

"You heard me." Yusuke growled, clenching his fists to his side. "I want to know why Botan would be killed for being with Kurama and I want to know why you threatened to send Kurama to hell if he didn't stay away from Botan!"

Botan gasped, looking from Yusuke over to her boss. He didn't ... "You ... You threatened him Koenma? But .. Why?!" She cried, trying to understand why the toddler lord would stoop to such dirty tricks. Is he that afraid of Kurama? Is that why Kurama wanted to spend the day with me? Because he knew it would be the last time he would see me?

Koenma looked over to Botan as if seeing her for the first time, his features tightening as he replied. "Because he can't be with you Botan. Because you are not allowed to love a human. Especially one with a Youko soul."

Botan's gaze hardened like ice as she marched over to his desk, resting her palms on the sides as she leaned forward, her features twisted in anger, causing the toddler lord to slide his chair slightly backward. "Why is it so dangerous for Kurama and I to be together. Tell me." She demanded, her gaze fixed solely on her boss's troubled brown ones, unblinking, challenging.

Koenma looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "I cannot tell you." He replied softly.

Yusuke shook his head, watching the two of them, his gaze shifting over to Koenma who he eyed in disgust. "That's not an answer, that's a cop-out Koenma." He said coolly. "So why don't you quit with the games and tell the truth."

Koenma looked from Yusuke back to Botan. I can't tell them. Koenma thought in trepidation. If they were to know the truth it could bring trouble to the palace. To the entire realm. Not many know of what happened so long ago. If I were to bring it out into the open, it could start a revolt that would get me executed. Along with everyone here. If I tell the real reasons why, they would think badly of me. Even hate me.

As if they don't now? He countered in his mind as he drew in a breath and let it out slowly. I must say something. But what? His brown eyes shifting downward as he lowered his head and sighed. "I can't go into the details of the past. The risks are too high for all of us. But I will tell you that there was something that happened several thousands of years ago. Something that resulted in the deaths of many Reikains. This led to a war between all three realms. And it was only by my father's intervention that order was restored."

"What does this have to do with Kurama and I?" Botan asked sharply, pushing off the desk and backing away. "Why is it so wrong for me to love him?"

"There was a law created to keep Reikai safe. To keep it pure you might say. It stated that anyone who chose the love of one outside of the spirit realm would be seen as traitors to their people and subject to immediate death. No exceptions. Ever."

Botan paled. No exceptions. Ever. She thought in disbelief and shock. "You're telling me that I can't be with Kurama because I will no longer be pure? That he is inferior to me?"

Koenma looked away in shame, nodding silently to her words.

"That's the biggest line of crap I've ever heard!" Yusuke roared, verbalizing what the deity was feeling at the moment. "Who made this rule up! Who? Enma? Did he do it? Who!"

Koenma blinked rapidly, startled by the young man's outburst as he began to respond. "Uh ... actually it was the elders who control most of Reikai who decided it would be this way. My father and I had no say in the matter."

Yusuke frowned. "Who are these elders I keep hearing about? How come I've never seen any of them before?"

"Actually Yusuke, they uh, were the ones who handed out the orders to have you executed." Koenma said softly, remembering how much trouble he got into for refusing to aid in their attempt to eliminate the spirit detective.

"Oh really." Yusuke said, his eyes growing dangerous. "Well then I think I know where to go next." He said, cracking his knuckles with emphasis.

Koenma blanched. "Yusuke don't even think about it."

"Why not?"

"Because if you try to take them on, you'll get not only yourself but everyone here killed."

Yusuke snorted, not believing a word. "Don't tell me your scared of these guys."

"Yes I am Yusuke. Very much so." Koenma answered softly, lowering his head. "They will kill anyone they deem a threat to the spirit realm. That is all that matters to them. Innocent or guilty. It doesn't matter. For instance, if Botan were to remain with Kurama, the elders would execute not only them but all their loved ones as well. To the elders they would be seen as a threat to the very survival of this realm. Nothing else matters. They have little respect of humans and none for the demon world. That is why my family has been left in charge of judging the souls of both realms. They find it beneath them and hardly worth their time."

"They have that much power?" Botan asked in astonishment, finding her voice once again. She knew very little of what went on beyond the borders of the palace. She never cared much to visit the realm of her birth, having been raised by Koenma and the other ferry girls employed under him, having never known her real family. She preferred to spend her time in the human world. With those who understood and loved her.

Koenma nodded. "More than I have that's for sure. If it hadn't been for my father's negotiation skills, Ningenkai and Makai would have been destroyed long ago."

Botan looked away from Koenma, not wanting to believe his words, even as she knew it to be the truth. "I don't care." She said softly. "I don't care if they think they're so much better than anyone else. I will find a way to be with Kurama. Even if it takes me an eternity. For every law there is one that counters it."

Koenma sighed. "There is nothing you can do Botan. You're just going to have to forget about Kurama. He is not the one for you. He never will be."

"No!" Botan shouted, causing everyone to jump. "I refuse to accept it! I will not forsake him! Never!"

"Then you leave me no choice but to remove you as Yusuke's assistant and to place you on leave from your job as a ferry girl."

"You wouldn't!" Botan cried, not believing what she was hearing.

"If you do that, she'll never set foot in the human world again!" Yusuke shouted, angry at the way Koenma was treating the ferry girl.

"Precisely." Koenma replied, looking over to the detective. "It will remove any temptation she may have to run off and see the kitsune."

Botan said nothing as she whirled around and exited the office's front door.

"Botan!" Koenma and Yusuke shouted in unison, watching the deity disappear from view.

"You bastard! How could you do that to her?!" Yusuke snarled, advancing upon the toddler lord who stood up as if to defend himself.

"I must be cruel only to be kind Yusuke. If she sets foot in the human world, she very well could die. I can't allow that. Even if I must break her heart. I will not hesitate if it keeps her safe."

Yusuke shook his head and waved at him in disgust before sprinting off after her.

"Botan wait!" Yusuke shouted, flying down the steps that led to the entrance of the palace, catching up to the fast moving deity who skidded to a stop halfway across the marbled floor.

The ferry girl did not turn towards him, trying to regain control of her emotions that seemed to be spinning out of hand. She couldn't believe Koenma would be so cruel as to not allow her to visit the world she so loved. It made her want to scream at the way she was being treated. She hated Koenma. Hated the spirit realm. She didn't want to stay anymore. But if I don't Kurama could be harmed. She thought in trepidation with a sigh she decided to abide by Koenma's order. I will abide by his rule, for Kurama's sake I will.

Yusuke caught up quickly to Botan, stopping a few feet from her, his eyes filled with concern as he spoke. "I know you love Kurama, Botan. And I know he loves you too." He began, pausing as he lowered his gaze to the floor. "And he really wanted to come and see you but he, doesn't feel worthy enough. At least that's what he said."

Botan turned slowly around, her features full of pain. "He doesn't feel worthy of me?" She murmured, walking up to the detective who raised his head, following her movement. "What else did he say to you about me?"

Yusuke's features turned thoughtful. "He told me to tell you that he remembers your promise. And he said he will wait for you until his last days upon the earth. Pretty dramatic huh?" He said, letting out a small laugh as he shook his head.

Botan lowered her gaze, studying her feet. "It is I who am not worthy of his love." She murmured.

Yusuke frowned, not hearing what she said. "What?"

Botan shook her head. "Nothing." She replied giving Yusuke a smile. "Please tell Kurama when you see him that I love him. And to not worry about me. We will be together soon. I promise."

Yusuke nodded. "You bet." He said with a smile as he looked down at his watch. "Crap!" He cried as he noticed how late the hour was. "It's already past seven and I promised Keiko I'd take her out to dinner." He said as he hurried towards the monstrous doors in front of him.

"Good bye and good luck Yusuke!" She called out.

"Same to you!" Yusuke shouted back over his shoulder before pulling the doors open enough for him to squeeze through before shutting them again and leaving Botan alone in the darkening room. I will find a way Kurama. She thought as she turned around and made her way slowly back up the stairs. You won't have to wait too long my love, I promise.

*********

Ailia let out a contented sigh as she lowered herself into steaming bubble bath that filled a large porcelain bathtub situated underneath a small decorative window that displayed Tokyo's skyline. She rested her head against the back of the tub, closing her eyes as she relaxed her tired muscles. Today had been a close call. That damn fire apparition nearly discovered who I was. She snarled inwardly. I will have to be more careful in the future. I can't go see Kurama. Not yet. Not if Hiei knows what I'm up to.

She sensed a sudden presence inside the room but made no move to see who it was. She already knew. "Do you always go sneaking into women's bathrooms at night Ren?" She asked, opening her eyes and tilting her head to the side.

Ren studied her briefly, his gray eyes curious as he walked over to the toilet and gently placed the lid down over the rim, settling himself gracefully upon it. Resting his palms upon his thighs, he leaned forward and spoke. "Where were you today Ailia. You were supposed to meet us at my loft to begin preparations for our plan?"

Ailia turned away from him, unable to read his mind. Could he possibly know where I went? She wondered, maintaining her calm she replied nonchalantly. "I had a little business to attend to and I lost track of time."

Ren tilted his head to the side. "Anything to do with Kurama?"

"No."

Ren was not convinced. "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. Since I already warned you to stay away from him, I'm sure you'll behave yourself like a good little girl from now on." He said, his features full of malice as he eyed her.

Ailia chose to ignore his unspoken threat, quickly changing the subject. "So has Kigorei completed the computer work necessary for us to proceed?"

Ren gave a small nod. "It has been completed. We will begin school within a few weeks." He answered, rising from his seat, straightening out his designer suit the same shade as Ailia's hair. "And I have begun the translation for the scroll. It shouldn't be too much longer and we will begin with phase two of our plan."

Ailia gave him a smile. "This is good news indeed Ren. I look forward to seeing your plan reach fruition."

Ren smiled as well. "I expect to see you tomorrow Ailia. At around nine." He said softly, walking away. "And remember, no distractions. That includes visiting the kitsune." He added over his shoulder as he disappeared from her sight.

Ailia growled. Damn that man! He infuriated the hell out of her sometimes. How could he possibly know what she had wanted to do. Was he having her followed? Impossible. She would have known. And yet. If they knew how to mask their energy and their mind, they would be invisible to her. I will have to be more careful. She reprimanded herself as she closed her eyes once more and tried to relax, all the while wondering if Ren truly knew what she had done.

********

Kurama lay quietly some time upon his bed, staring up at the ceiling with lost eyes. Yusuke had called him a short time ago, telling him what he had found out from Koenma and what Botan had said. That she loved him and not to worry. I can't help but worry Botan. I don't want to see you get hurt over me. He thought sadly as he turned his head to the side and stared at the small picture of the two of them. What if she found out something she shouldn't know. What if she couldn't find a way to be with him. What if ...

The kitsune sighed in disgust. It would do no good to wonder about such things. He was stuck in the human world, unable to know what was going on. Unable to talk to her. Unless... A thought popped into his mind as he remembered the communicator Koenma had given him when he had gone into Makai. When he had returned, it was gone. Then he remembered that Yusuke had one of his own. Perhaps I could use that to get a hold of her. He thought with a smile, his spirits brightening as he reached over and shut off his lamp, flooding the room with darkness.

Kurama closed his eyes, drifting off into a deep slumber a short while later, into the land of dreams where Botan belonged to him and all was right with the world.