Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ As Heaven is Wide ❯ Chapter 2: Pushing Up Zombies ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2: Pushin' Up Zombies

"So these are the two daughters," the stranger with scarlet eyes thought to himself, eyes slowly taking in the appearance of the teenage women before him. "I wonder if they will prove to be the weak humans that they are…or something more."

Miyuki felt her body quiver, both from cold and the pair of haunting eyes trained upon Tatsu and herself. The expression set upon the face of their strange foe was somewhat sardonic and absolutely off-putting, the way his lips curled in to a devious grin proving to be very distressing. Even though he did not touch her nor had he spoken any words that could be considered truly offensive, the way his eyes bore in to her made the pallid-haired girl feel violated and dirty, as if his hands truly had been upon her. He seemed to be measuring the both of them up, as if testing them for their strength and expecting the both of them to prove weakness. What right did he have to judge the both of them without knowing anything about them what so ever? Miyuki felt infuriated by this man, more so then any other person had ever made her feel, and, even though he did frighten her to an extent, she would not give him the pleasure of seeing her fear. She frowned deeply and held her head high, emerald eyes coming to life with a challenging spark of determination. For the first time ever, Miyuki did not feel timid. She felt strong and damn well ready to dish out a good pounding if need be.

Miyuki's sudden change in demeanor only seemed to amuse the unfamiliar man, for he threw back his head and laughed loudly, his body shaking with mirth.

"And here I thought that the only one with guts would be the brutish tomboy. It seems that both of you have a spark of determination in you. How very surprising."

"I'll show ya a brutish tomboy, ya…"

Tatsu swore with more venom and abandon then even Miyuki had ever heard, emitting a long stream of curses that could very well have made a prison guard blush and cover their ears. Hiei and Kurama, having only had a taste of Tatsu's vulgarity, were rather shocked by the obscenities the raven-haired girl had managed to utter. Was it even possible for one so young to have ever heard such language before? Even the rarely off guard Hiei found his eyes progressively widening several sizes. By the time Tatsu had nearly finished saying what their enemy was and what she intended to do to him, every undead being standing had stopped moaning, as if even their unfunctioning brains could comprehend her words.

"…with an old hobo's half-empty bottle of booze shoved up yer ass!!"

Tatsu finally finished her angry rant, shaking a fist vengefully and letting out many a heavy breath as she bared her teeth threateningly at the decaying army and their leader. Silence fell as the girl tried to regain all the oxygen she had expended, even cricket chirps halting as her words sunk in. Miyuki's head was all, but spinning due to her amazement and the two members of the Reikai Tantei were still trying to recover from their shock. If it was possible they had just heard every swear word known to all of man and demon kind. Tatsu grinned as she regained her breath, presuming that the silence she heard about her meant that her point had been made, her lips then pulling back in to a frown as the dark man simply begin to laugh once again. He closed his eyes while peels of laughter overtook him, pointing one finger directly at the group standing opposite of him, making no attempt to stop laughing.

"Kill the men, but do not touch the girls. I'll need them later."

The zombies were on them in seconds. Having little time to react, Hiei did all that he could to snap Tatsu and Miyuki out of their slight daze, pushing the shorter girl in to the taller one, thusly causing them to stumble several steps before falling out of harm's way. Kurama quickly joined Hiei in battle, both slashing and defending themselves as well as they could against the large number of mindless drones attacking them.

"Stop wasting time and get the hell out of here!" rang out Hiei's voice amongst the battle shouts and slightly disembodied moans.

Miyuki was first to her feet, her fingers firmly gripping Tatsu's wrist as she thusly hefted the younger girl to her feet, dragging her away from the battle as quickly as she could. Tatsu dug her heels in to the ground, wriggling her wrist free of Miyuki's grasp, glaring at her friend with agitated eyes as she was looked back at.

"What th' hell are ya doin'!? I don't give a flaming damn about those two, but we can't just leave 'em! I ain't gonna just chicken out and run off like some wussy little…"

"Please shut the hell up, Tatsu-san!" Miyuki commanded, startling the slightly over-bearing girl a little with the firmness of her voice.

Tatsu watched in confusion as Miyuki knelt to the ground, fingers reaching in to her left sock for something. She seemed to find what she was looking for near the general vicinity of her ankle, fingers gripping around a small, unknown object. Fingers retreated from the confines of white cotton as Miyuki stood again, grinning slightly as she dangled a small set of keys before Tatsu's eyes. Her drift was caught rather quickly.

"All right! Zombie ass-whoopin' time!"

* * * * *

(AN: It is recommended if you listen to either The Can Can or I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General while reading this section of the fic for the purpose of intensified reading enjoyment. ^^ You'll see what I mean.)

Kurama grunted as he snapped his whip quickly and skillfully, beginning to feel somewhat weary with strain from having to fight so furiously. In his head he began to make a list of the pros and cons of fighting zombies. Zombies were fairly strong in the sense of physical strength, which presented some difficulty, but had very fragile bodies. They could easily be pulled apart by a sword, whip, or random blunt object, which was good at the time, but would mean hell if fists were all that could be used. What they lacked in intelligence they made up in numbers. Kill one that hadn't enough knowledge to dodge the slice of a blade and several more would be right behind it. They didn't utter boisterous, self-confidant nonsense, but their unending moans could grate on ones nerves faster then Superman gets weak under the influence of kryptonite.

"They just don't stop coming!" Kurama shouted over the din of groans and falling bodies, cleaving the head of one zombie clear from its body with a simple flick of his wrist and whip.

"They have to dwindle at some point!" Hiei shouted back, slicing away at walking corpse after walking corpse, teeth gritted with effort and slight fatigue. "Just keep fighting!"

Hiei, being the very aware and alert fighter that he is, had a sudden warning of overhead attack and threw his neck back, staring upward. He jumped backwards only seconds before a body fell from the sky and landed on the ground where he had been standing with a loud crack and a thump, several parts of the corpse's body detaching and bouncing a few feet away from the whole. Kurama, having noticed this as he defended himself, threw Hiei a confused look before turning his eyes back on his numerous adversaries, Hiei doing the same. Both had expressions of total and utter bewilderment on their faces.

"What the hell was that?!" Hiei shouted, not really expecting his companion to have an answer, but still hoping for one anyway.

"Do you hear that?" Kurama asked, ignoring the question that had been asked of him.

The two of them strained their ears, managing to catch a few definitive sounds over the groans of the zombie oppressors. They heard a car or truck engine running, tires roaming speedily over upturning earth, and…voices furiously belting out The Can Can with a lot of gusto.

"DA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA! NANANANANA!!!" sang Miyuki and Tatsu as they drove Miyuki's father's SUV over zombie after zombie after unsuspecting zombie.

It was lucky for the two girls that Miyuki's father did not have a place of work very far from where they now stood…er…drove, otherwise they wouldn't have the now quite handy chili-pepper red sport utility at their disposal. Having a closely located job meant that Miyuki's father preferred walking to and from work, which was right then a huge blessing. Tatsu, who had insisted on driving, grinned rather maliciously as she sent large numbers of decaying bodies flying this way and that, head banging to the beat of what she now deemed as "Tatsu and Miyuki's Zombie Killing War BGM." Miyuki, though rather much enjoying the slight edge the two of them had in the fight, held on for dear life as Tatsu drove madly back and forth through the thankfully wide back yard, thankful for the invention of seatbelts and airbags.

"Where's that stuck-up leader bastard?! I've got a front bumper with his name written all over it!"

"Oh crap…Tatsu-san's becoming a little crazed. I knew I shouldn't have let her drive," Miyuki thought to herself as her fingers tightened around the safety grip, also known by many as an "Oh shit!" bar.

As Miyuki prayed for secure seat belts/auto insurance, Tatsu's mind sung with thoughts of BAM! BAM! BAMITY! BAM! The particular 'arrogant zombie slave owner' that Tatsu had dreams of running over by then had taken a wise and safe haven upon the roof of Miyuki's home, thusly being saved from the horrors of being introduced to 'Mr. Goodyear.' He found the entire situation quite amusing to say the least, somewhat glad that the Reikai Tantei were managing to hold out longer then anticipated. He always enjoyed a good show. If they managed to survive the fight then maybe he'd allow them the gift of receiving quick, torture-less deaths. The two young women, however…their fates had already been sealed.

SLAM!

Tatsu and Miyuki both slid out of the bright red vehicle, both silently thanking seatbelts, but cursing air bags that didn't know when to work. Tatsu had been so caught up in creating road kill, or perhaps road re-kill, that she hadn't really been focusing on the fact that she was driving towards a tree. She was so caught up in crushing a particularly resilient zombie that Miyuki's warning scream of "Hit the brakes!" was what brought her immediately out of her moment of slightly psychotic grandeur. She did indeed manage to hit the brakes, but it did not stop them from crashing in to the offending tree. It only proved to make the collision less then what it could have been and lowered the chances of the two girls having any injuries. The most that they suffered consisted of slightly shaky legs and the fearful thought of how pissed Miyuki's father would be at the sight of his damaged jeep.

A hand fisted in to the fabric of Tatsu's shirt as she stood, trying to regain her composure, startling her slightly as she felt herself slammed roughly against the side of the automobile, a pair of angry red eyes glaring up in to her own.

"I told you both to leave here and this what you do! How incredibly stupid are you, girl!" Hiei all but growled, his non-fabric containing hand clenching angrily around the sword he always carried with him.

Miyuki's eyes widened at the spectacle and she dashed around the vehicle, hands grabbing on to the dark-haired man's wrist, attempting to pull it back from where it held Tatsu against the side of the jeep. Hiei's eyes darted towards her, but he did not release his offensive grip on Tatsu.

"Please let her go, Hiei-san. I'm the one who thought of using Papa's jeep, not her. Be angry at me if you have to be angry with anyone."

Hiei barely showed any sign of being affected by her pleading expression, save for making a grudging noise in the back of his throat and letting Tatsu's shirt front go, taking a few steps away from both girls. Tatsu glared at the slightly short man as she smoothed out the wrinkles he had made to appear, resisting the urge to beat him up for his behavior due to the hand Miyuki had placed upon her shoulder. Kurama, at that time, chose to join them beside the wrecked transportation device (Gyah…crappy word choice…), looking at Hiei with an unreadable expression. It seemed almost scolding to an extent and Hiei chose to ignore it with a simple turn of his head.

The group had no worry at that moment of fighting off anymore undead adversaries. Not a single zombie could stand at that moment. They had all, after much struggle, been either decapitated or knocked through the air. Body parts littered the ground and the few corpses that were still fairly intact were so terribly mangled that it was all but impossible for any useful movement to be made. It seemed as though they had managed to win a battle that, for normal people, would have been impossible to survive. It was a good thing, especially for Tatsu and Miyuki, that Kurama and Hiei were far from what many would call normal.

"Impressive indeed."

All heads, at least those that were securely attached to their bodies, turned towards the voice which not surprisingly belonged to the leader of the undead militia. He stood proud and tall upon the roof of Miyuki's home, arms crossed before his chest as the full moon beamed in the sky behind him, giving him an almost superior look. Hiei and Kurama readied their respective weapons, eyes turning cold and hard at the sight of this still un-nameable foe. Tatsu and Miyuki, though weaponless now that their 'war chariot' was trashed, glared up at him with unwavering determination, obviously expecting more fighting and showing that they would help in some way.

"You managed to survive. I'm quite surprised, but I suppose I should try not to be. After all, the great Kurama and Hiei would by no chance be able to fall at the hands of a few zombies, now would they?" His tone of voice as he spoke held more sarcasm as opposed to respect or admiration, which only proved to make his self-assured attitude even more agitating.

"Cut the bullshit, buddy!" Tatsu shouted, her brows drawn together in pure anger and frustration. "Who th' hell are ya and what'd ya mean when ya said ya'd need me an' Miyuki later?! Ya'd better damn well answer me too, or I'll kick yer ass from here ta Tokyo!"

"So you said before, Tatsu," he replied smoothly, grinning down at the fiery young brunette.

"And how th' hell do ya know our names?!"

"All good questions, which I'm sure that your new friends will want to know the answers to as well and they will all be answered in due time. However, since you seem so desperate to know, I shall at least humor you with my name. I am called Marionette."

"Well, now that the introductions are over, now you can give us the rest of the information we want, unless, of coarse, you would like to give it to us the hard way," Kurama said coolly, thusly snapping his whip in a threatening manor before letting it rest at his side once again.

"Hehehe…So th' pretty boy does have a little spunk…" Tatsu thought, holding back a grin, eyes darting in Kurama's direction for a brief instant before they turned back on Marionette.

"As I said, my friend, all in due time. You shall get your answers when I feel ready to give them."

"This isn't some game! We asked for answers and we want them now!" Miyuki demanded, eyes smoldering in fury at the casual way that their unwelcome opponent dealt with their questions.

"Now, I'm afraid, dear Miyuki it is too soon. I like to bide my time and this is by far the most entertainment I've had in many, many years. When we meet again I shall consider giving you another hint as to what my goals are. Until then I suggest you stay out of the woods. So long."

Marionette turned away from them then, waving over his shoulder at the four confused individuals before he vanished completely from their sight, as if he hadn't even been there in the first place. There was silence for several long, agonizing moments before Tatsu finally spoke.

"Uhm…what now?"

End of Chapter 2

End of Chapter Special!! Aino Utena and ChibiSamiSala's Crazy, Abnormal, and Altogether Pointless Yu Yu Hakusho Theories!

Theory Number 1: The Secret Spot

While speaking with Sami on the phone one day our conversation, which had at the time been focused on this fic and what to do at certain points, took an interesting turn. For reasons that I cannot remember, the conversation suddenly began to focus on the hair of the resident Yu Yu Hakusho men and the possibility of…ehehe…relation between their hair styles and the way their…er…privates behave. That translated from vague Utena language to plain English means that we both think that if the hair acts a certain way, then the wang acts the same. Here are our examples on the matter.

Hiei: Always upright and gravity defying: If the hair is up there then so is the Hiei Staff.

Kurama: Needs constant grooming and tending to: Come on. Do you really think that his hair is the only thing that needs to be in perfect condition?

Yuusuke: Must be held back when in public: ……*just laughs*

Kuwabara: It's just kinda…there… We could have said that it curls, but…no…not possible…*cringe*

Koenma: Can't be seen until he gets bigger: As you all know Koenma's hair is hidden by his hat when in toddler form, but when he becomes a teenager you can suddenly see his pretty hair…this reference was just too damn priceless and it came out of my mouth automatically.

Well folks, that's our pointless theory for this chapter. I'll bet you fear the next one, huh? Well, Chapter 3 is on the way, but we aren't posting it until we get reviews. We were lenient this time around, but we need reviews to keep us going. Please review.