Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Balance ❯ A Fox and his Toys ( Chapter 32 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: what is the purpose of the SATs, exactly? Really?
Balance
Chapter Thirty-Two: A Fox and his Toys
‘Exactly.’
He nodded.
Yes, he said, but exact is such a powerful word…
The man in the mirror tossed his head, another crack appearing in the glass. He sniffed arrogantly and closed his shattering eyes.
‘Many words are powerful. Rather, many were, long ago. Do you know that ‘love’ was a powerful word, once upon a time?’
I do, he said slowly, but I do not know why I should have believed it if I did not already.
The man in the mirror looked over casually, eyes hiding confusion amidst their splintered depths.
I do not know to trust you, he elaborated, your being so broken as it is.
Does it mean my fear is dissipating?
‘That I am so broken?’
He nodded, and the man in the mirror once more closed his eyes. Hiding something? Ashamed of his state?
Maybe so.
Hiding…
Sorrow.
Hate.
Pain.
Fear.
All the things he himself sheltered every day.
You aren’t leaving, are you? he asked with quiet understanding. You aren’t going dissipating or weakening. You are becoming a part of myself.
Fear smirked its usual confidence.
‘I am becoming like the fox, is that what you mean?’
The fox who ruined my life?
‘Oho, the feral rage bares it fangs!’
It was not true, really. None of it. He did not hate the fox; he was rather grateful that through the creature, he had found such a satisfying place in life above the typical hustle of the humans and their idiocy. Basic math was all very well and good, but history? Algebra? Conjugation of English verbs? What nonsense was this? He could do it all perfectly, and it made him superior.
And through the fox, he had found love, and what a love it was…
So vicious, so concealed, so enigmatic, so beautiful…
So…challenging.
The fox did love his challenges.
‘A fox and his toys…’
‘That’s all they are to you, isn’t it? Toys. Every single one of those rotted humans is a toy. One that will eventually break.’
Maybe so…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hiei,” Yuusuke said, turning to his shorter friend. The other did not look at him.
“Hiei, come on! Say something, look at me, move a little, please do anything!”
Raising an eyebrow, Hiei glanced sidelong at the panicking detective.
“Why does it matter so much?”
Yuusuke breathed a relieved sigh, or something.
“Doesn’t, I guess,” he said. “Anyway. You’ve got to stop this fight.”
Hiei turned back to the dueling thieves and tracked them with his eyes. Kurama was not winning, per say, but neither was Miru. One would get in a strong punch, and the other would come back with an equally strong kick. Almost…boring.
“Why should I?” he asked. “Miru is not winning.”
Yuusuke threw up his hands. “Dammit, Hiei! I’m a detective! I need some answers!”
Hiei snorted and looked away. Kuwabara watched all this with a calculating eye, wondering why Hiei was so resistant.
But then, even if he was willing to stop the fight, how would he do it? Kurama and Miru were moving almost too fast for him to track, and appeared to be completely caught up in their own world. How would Hiei get enough of a response out of Kurama to completely halt them? Did all that couple-y stuff have so much to do with it? But Hiei hadn’t seemed very genuine.
Maybe that was just his way. Kurama would know better than he, but still…Hiei had seemed so forced…
Hiei refrained from glaring over at the tall man watching him.
He could, theoretically, say something to stop the fight. It wasn’t impossible. And besides, he and Kurama were nearly evenly matched. If he interfered, the struggle would stop.
But would he?
Yuusuke made a decent point: they needed answers. But, as a fellow demon, he had an obligation to Kurama not to meddle. Yet at the same time, as Kurama’s supposed “lover,” he should protect him from harm, when possible. But Kurama wasn’t losing, he just…wasn’t winning.
“Kurama!” he screamed.
No response. The two continued their fisticuffs and neither even looked down.
He couldn’t call out “koibito” or anything like that; it would create complications again. But…jumping into the match was so…un-demon.
What choice did he have, though?
Bounding up the rocks, he paused for a moment to judge Kurama’s and Miru’s movements. They should be landing at that exact spot in a few seconds… Hiei leapt over to it just in time and caught Kurama on his way down.
“Hiei!” Kurama roared angrily as the hiyoukai dragged him to the ground. Miru didn’t follow, taking the chance to mind her wounds.
“Coward!” Kurama yelled up at her. “It is against the rules to heal yourself! I will destroy you!”
Eyes wide, Hiei snapped back and slapped Kurama across the cheek.
“What an uncharacteristic thing to say,” he said bitterly. “Kurama, you are losing your head. You need to calm down before you hurt yourself.”
“But Miru–”
“Forget about Miru for a moment!” Hiei pinned Kurama underneath himself and knelt on his chest, bending over so that their noses were nearly touching. “It’s just you, and me, and your draining sanity! You need to calm down!”
Kurama tossed his head frantically, not really making motions to throw Hiei off of him. He made unintelligible grunting noises as he did, flailing his arms. Hiei reared back and punched him this time, right in the jaw.
“Calm down!” he ordered, his patience wearing thin. Running low on options, he rolled his eyes and forced himself down, pressing his lips to Kurama’s. Who knew, it might work.
And it did, to some extent. Kurama stopped thrashing about and opened his eyes.
“Why’d you do that?” he asked bluntly.
Hiei blinked. That was an unexpected question.
“To get you to stop moving so much,” he said.
“Oh.”
Neither moved or spoke.
“Miru!” Yuusuke yelled from across the field, walking over towards them all with some purpose to his step. “I want some answers!”
The girl looked up from the wound she was binding and tossed her hair.
“Answers to what?” she asked innocently.
“Everything!”
“Ooh, why didn’t you say so?” she cried gleefully, bouncing on her toes and clapping her hands. She skipped down the side of the rock she perched on, waving her arms as though she were a child running down a hill and preparing to roll through the grassy knoll at the bottom. She giggled piercingly.
“Oh-kay,” she said as she reached the bottom. Yuusuke was strongly reminded of a teenage girl abut to divulge some choice gossip to her friends.
“It’s the perfect plan. I drive the most well-known thief in all of Makai completely out of his mind, then, when he’s too distracted to know what’s what, I kick his ass! I know, I know,” she interrupted herself, waving her hands before her. “It took way too long. About, what, six or seven hundred years? I dunno, I lost track. But that’s really okay, because it’s been fun! Except that naughty boy ran away from me.” She pouted excessively, then shook her head and cleared her expression. “Oh, whatever, now that he’s back I can get back on track. Maybe I can use the ties he’s made in Ningenkai against him somehow! Wouldn’t that be so cool?”
Yuusuke rolled his eyes. She was like a…a child. “Don’t even try it. That’s been so overdone, it’s not even funny. But back to what matters–what was with those Makaichu…creatures? Remember, way back when all this shit started? Those bugs were infesting the city!”
Miru cocked her head, her face screwed up in confusion. “Ma-kai-chu…oh, yeah, I remember those. They were Kurokyoui’s idea. You know, I never did really like him. Fun to wipe him out, though, he didn’t put up much of a fight.”
Kuwabara came closer, despite his every instinct, just in time to hear “wipe him out.”
“Wipe who out?” he asked suspiciously.
“Kurokyoui,” Yuusuke replied without taking his eyes off of Miru. “Remember? Reikai called him our big lead?”
Kuwabara bent backwards slightly, tapping his chin. “Oh, yeah,” he said, standing upright again. “I remember him. So, wait…wiped out…as in killed?”
Miru nodded casually. “Yeah, he bothered me quite a bit.”
Kuwabara hid his horror at the girl with another question. “You two were working together for awhile, though, weren’t you?”
She nodded, apparently lost in thought.
Yuusuke and Kuwabara shared a casual glance. How could this girl, this horrible torturer of such noble people as Kurama, this evil, evil demon who could so casually kill off her own teammates because they bothered her, be such a child? So gleeful, so happy, so…young? Her appearance dictated that she wished for acceptance–the tight fabric around her hips and the way her shirt fell loosely over her accentuated breasts was evidence of that, and the way she frequently twirled hair around her fingers hinted that she wanted it to be noticed. It was admittedly quite shiny.
She was insecure? On the inside maybe, but outwardly she showed off her brilliance. Or rather, what she took to be her brilliance. Yuusuke called it sadism and Kuwabara called it sick. But whatever it really was, she liked to try to prove it. She liked to be noticed. A ningen trait over a youkai one, to be sure, but still…she was odd, no one denied that.
“So why did Kurokyoui want to send out the bugs in the first place?” Yuusuke said insistently, disrupting her thoughts and his own.
“Huh?” she blurted, looking over. “Oh, yeah. The bugs. He wanted to use them as bait. I wanted to just go on in and leave a clue in Kurama’s house, but noooo, we had to do things roundabout to confuse you all.” She curled her lip in distaste. “They were supposed to get Reikai’s attention. And they did, I guess, so that was okay, but I would have preferred to skip over the formalities and go straight to the prize.”
The prize?
Yuusuke snarled and Kuwabara glared sharply.
Their friend was no prize.
“So,” Miru said suddenly, drawing their attention. “Before we get back to the rough and tumble–I appreciate the rest, by the way–but before that, I have a question for you.”
Yuusuke nodded warily.
“Uh huh…”
Miru smiled cheekily. “What’s the deal with the little black bastard?”
“Little…”
Hiei.
Of course.
Miru must have seen the way Hiei tended to Kurama and assumed they were a pair.
Kurama would have loved to hear that.
What was the deal with the little black bastard?
“Oh,” Kuwabara said. “Him.”
Yuusuke nodded. “He’s Kurama’s best friend,” he supplied.
Miru laughed loudly, and the sound grated on Yuusuke’s ears.
“His best friend?” she gasped. “That’s it? You could have come up with a better excuse than that!”
“But there is no better excuse,” Kuwabara said, putting on his best confused expression. “They really are best friends.”
“Yeah, and lovers!” Miru called teasingly. “I saw the way the black thing kissed Kurama, that was no ‘best friend’ deal. Have they gotten to the hot and heavy yet?”
Yuusuke balked and Kuwabara blushed. Hiei and Kurama getting hot and heavy? Oh, that was somewhere they didn’t need to go.
“No…” Yuusuke mumbled.
“They’re not lovers!” Kuwabara insisted. He might be a little off kilter at the idea of Kurama ending up with someone like Hiei, but he didn’t have anything against it. They didn’t need this intrusion, and he’d be damned if he would let Miru get in their way.
Miru giggled off the last of her laughs. “Okay, okay, say they aren’t. Why’s that little scrap hanging so close to someone as magnificent as the great Kurama? Kurama seems to need him around. Servant? Seems unlikely to me, but what do I know.”
“Not much,” Yuusuke muttered a little too loud. Kuwabara smacked his head.
Rubbing the new lump and glaring at his friend, Yuusuke fumbled to invent a story that would sound plausible. Servant was out–Hiei would never stand for it if he found out they had said that. Any sort of shy romance was definitely out–they were trying to discourage the “lovers” appearance, not hint that it was on the horizon. They had already tried “best friends,” and Miru didn’t seem to buy it. Brothers would never work–brothers didn’t kiss, not like that, and if they were, then either Hiei needed fox powers or Kurama needed fire ones, and that wouldn’t happen any time soon.
“They’re just typical youkai,” he said finally. “You know the way–screwing anything that moves, getting control any way they can. That sort of thing.”
Miru raised an eyebrow, nodding skeptically.
“And they’re best friends,” she said. Yuusuke nodded.
“Who screw anything that moves.”
Another nod.
“And each want control over the other.”
“You know youkai,” Yuusuke said, feeling himself begin to panic. “I mean, obviously, you are one. But, uh, well, you know what I mean!”
Oh, way to go, Yuusuke, he thought, suppressing the urge to beat himself up. Kuwabara laughed nervously, waving his hands. He seemed to be thinking the same general thing.
“Oh, darling,” Miru said melodramatically. “It would have been ever so much simpler if you had just told me from the start that they were lovers.”
“They’re–!”
“Fine,R 21; Kuwabara interrupted. “They are. What’re you gonna do about it, kidnap Hiei and hold him for ransom? He won’t go down easy.”
The girl smiled. “I knew it. No, no, I won’t take the boy. I’ll just store that little bit of information away for later use.”
Yuusuke narrowed his eyes threateningly.
“That it?”
She made a small squeaking noise and nodded.
“Now, if you’ll pardon me, I have a fight to get back to. Ciao!”
Yuusuke’s eyes followed her as she dashed off.
“‘Ciao,’ what kind of crap is that?”
Kuwabara shook his head.
“Dunno…she’s a weird one.”
“Yeah…”
Long minutes passed on the opposite side of the field as Hiei and Kurama stared each other down.
“I love you, you know,” Kurama said finally. Hiei blinked.
“Right…”
“They’re talking about us,” he continued, gesturing to their two companions speaking with Miru. “She wants to know who you are. They’re denying our relationship to her. She asked if you were my servant.”
“I know, Kurama,” Hiei said tonelessly. “I can hear them.”
“Yuusuke would never say you were anyone’s servant,” Kurama said. “He thinks you’d hurt him. They’re trying to come up with a suitable lie.”
“I know, Kurama.”
“They should tell her that I love you.”
“Yes, they should.”
But they shouldn’t tell her that I love you, it seems. They shouldn’t tell her that we are in love.
Hiei closed his eyes at the thought. This relationship needed to be cemented into something, and it needed to happen fast. Whether it was successful or not, Kurama had every right to know, and Hiei wanted this mental and emotional turmoil within him to stop.
Did he have “those sorts of feelings” for the fox. Did he love him.
He wasn’t quite sure.
“Are you thinking about me?”
“Of course I am.”
He knew he had feelings for the fox. He trusted him like no other, he went to him when life became too hard, he asked him for help when his wounds were too drastic to heal on their own. His feelings were of care, certainly, but were they of the love he spoke of? Hard to say.
Did he get that “warm, fuzzy feeling” he heard teenage girls speak of, whenever he was around Kurama? No, not really. His insides didn’t feel like they were going to turn around and around and flip themselves every which way. He didn’t feel as though his world were complete.
But was love really so powerful as all of that, anyway? Could one person make another’s life worthwhile by simply living themselves? It all sounded so farfetched, so ridiculous. He would certainly never have thought of it in those terms.
“Are you thinking of how much you love me?”
“I am.”
Yukina gave his life meaning, for awhile–except then, once he had found her, she merely gave him something to do. He protected her, but it didn’t make his very existence worth the space it took up. Kurama could treat her the same, and so could Yuusuke, and, even if he didn’t want to admit it or even fully believe it, so could Kuwabara. In fact, they all did. He wasn’t a favorite, or anything special. He would never tell of their relation and so he held his place as “one of the pack.”
So could Kurama now fill the spot that she might have, once? Did Kurama take that special place in his heart, in his purpose?
Did Kurama make him feel that life was worth living?
An interesting prospect…
“Are they good thoughts?”
“They’re thoughts.”
Maybe so.
Now that he thought of it, the prospect of loving someone and having them love him back was quite appealing.
But could he do that to Kurama? To someone so caring and kind? He couldn’t possibly be the other man’s perfect match.
Oh, but to be in such a relationship would be so secure.
“Are they thoughts of love and being loved?”
“They are.”
Kurama smiled slightly and fluffed the hair on the back of Hiei’s neck.
“Are they thoughts of loving me?”
Hiei turned away slightly. “…they are.”
“And are they…positive?”
Hiei smirked. Here was a nice chance.
“Maybe they are,” he teased.
“And maybe my thoughts of you are a little…what’s the word…foxy,” Kurama punned.
Hiei chuckled a little.
”You’re kind of cute,” he said quietly. Kurama laughed at the out-of-character sentiment.
“Why, thank you, my little charmer.”
Seemingly unprovoked, Hiei’s head snapped up and his eyes narrowed.
“Miru’s coming this way.”
He rolled off of Kurama and the other stood, dusting himself off.
“Thank you, Hiei,” he said in a hush whisper, almost to himself.
Hiei chose not to comment, but stepped back to watch.
Maybe he had more vested in this battle than he thought.
Interesting prospect…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hiyoukai: loosely translated as “fire demon”
Makai: Hell, demon realm
Ningenkai: human realm
Makaichu: the term used to name the bugs from the Chapter Black saga
Reikai: spirit realm
Ningen: human
Youkai: demon
Converting /tmp/phppCQVZO to /dev/stdout