Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Bindings (My Kitsune 5) ❯ Bindings ( Chapter 5 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Nyx Jr 
Lemon, another lemon, Kurama POV.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.18.2004 | Updated On: 07.03.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 435 | Status: Completed
Lemon, another lemon, Kurama POV.
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Action | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 06.18.2004 | Updated On: 07.03.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 435 | Status: Completed
Bindings 5 NYC (11-23-02)
by: Baby Nyx
Description : Kurama POV, Lemon, another lemon...
Key : //words// = telephone conversation
"I'm not in denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept."
-Calvin and Hobbes
The phone rang, once, twice, I reached out to answer it but a soft weight decended on my face effectively pinning me to the bed. I almost panicked but the familliar heat and scent and the deep hoarse "Aa?" made me stop from pushing him away.
I opened my mouth and gave the offending belly a big wet raspberry.
"'Yaro!" he growled and was off me just like that, he glared at me from a safe distance while I snickered behind my hand.
I gasped and my eyes must have gone round as saucers as I saw Hiei's naked body.
Hiei looked down at himself, gasped, then turned away from me but not before I had a good look at the bruises and hickies all over his body. Inari his... I almost fell off the bed to get to him. I knelt and pressed my hand over the bruise on his leg, he jumped at my touch but didn't move away.
"Pardon?" he said to the phone "Thank you, I'm sure Fox is handling the details, please whatever arrangements is agreed upon, I would be honored if you and your friends are there to celebrate with us."
My hand fits the bruise perfectly! But I didn't do that! This oval bruise on his behind is the exact shape of my teeth, I turned him around, and dammit even his sex wasn't spared. My fingers bruised his forearm, his neck...!
"Yes Gio, Fox is here, he's changing right now." He swatted my hand away and told me with a nod to do what I must.
I felt weak and sick all of a sudden, I actually choked Hiei? HE did this, was he trying to kill Hiei? Dammit! Youko? Youko! Look at what he did to Hiei.
Hm? Oh... Shit...
I felt Shuichi let go but he hovered at the back of my mind. I changed into my form while I glared at the bruises at the back of Hiei's knee. He had turned away again as he spoke on the phone.
"Your welcome. I believe we have time, my assistant is away and Fox volunteered to act in his stead, I'm sure he has our schedule figured out, here, ask him." He handed me the phone. "He wants to meet us for lunch today."
I was frowning when I took the phone from him, we couldn't find that part of myself responsible for what happened to Hiei. Dammit what did happened?
"Yes Gio?" Hiei crossed his arms and watched me intently as I sat back on the bed, he was looking at me like... like a predator. His eyes darkened, and I saw his littler self spring to life, he licked his lower lip, and slowly he came back to bed. K'so what's that look in his eyes? Is that what I think it is? I have never...
//Caro go grab a copy of the New York Times and that gossip rag People's magazine? Guess what? You made it in their front page! GQ is publishing this weekend and you'll be in it too!//
"Awesome." I paid Gio partial attention because I'm half afraid of what my lover is going to do. His nails lightly raked the underside of my arm, sending gooseflesh and shivers down my spine, then his lips began tracing a line from that shoulder to my neck.
I took care not to crush the phone in my hand so Gio can babble on about Whitfields who talked to him after I took Hiei upstairs and Stefan who knew Hiei by description alone. He wasn't sure if it was really him and since he didn't sit at their table he had let him be.
I already knew that from last night, only Ken and Stef knew about Hiei and both weren't the outgoing, talkative type, they weren't close as friends either because Ken works all the time in his import/export shop.
Hiei began fondling my tail then, I took a deep long breath as gooseflesh went up my spine.
//... and then there's Mitch from Vida Inc. They are THE premier modeling agency in the world, he wants to talk to you but I said you won't be interested, you can always change your mind...//
"No I don't think I'll change my mind about that." he's tugging my tail now, ah Inari, it's melting me! I reached behind me to catch his hands and shook my head in the negative. I pointed at the phone and tried to glare him into behaving himself.
Good luck Youko, but that's not going to work.
And Shuiichi was right, that stubborn look he gave me is a dead give away.
//We were brainstorming last night after you left and we've got the entire thing planned out, I need you to meet with me and Marie to go over things at lunch, 12 pm at the Oak room of this hotel. Everybody is busy right now, we want to make sure Wednesday afternoon is free for your date with destiny.//
Warm fingers parted the hair at the back of my neck and hot, moist kisses followed. I shuddered involuntarily when he began nipping me gently, teeth grazed my skin and clicked together as they missed flesh, I could feel every heated breath that he took and gave. His fingers, the heat of his skin warming me, his core beating strong and fast, the scent of his arousal... I bit my lower lip and clamped down on my own responses.
"Gio how can I thank you enough?" I asked my breath hitching because Hiei's lips have found my ears. My core thundered as I felt Hiei's teeth grazing the delicate cartilage, I have learned to be wary of Hiei's teeth, oh gods... He's forcing my head back, baring my neck so he can keep sucking on my ear while he rubs himself against my tail and my back. It's getting so hard to keep my breathing even!
//Think nothing of it Fox, your amore just invited us and we are really looking forward to it. I'm so glad you chose to wear that suit, I'd love to see it go down the aisle on you. Jim will be there, as well as Tianna and Claudia, she delayed her flight to London so she can flirt with you to the last minuite. Ah Deo! Let's just meet over lunch and discuss details ci? There are so many things I want to tell you from last night! You are the talk of the town, plus the things the gossip mags are saying today!//
A moan escaped me when his hand found my need, he abandoned my ears and his fingernails scraped me as he pushed my head to one side. He stroked me lazily while he nibbled on my throat, little lovebites that neither bruised nor broke skin, but sent shudders of anticipated pain throughout my entire body. The slow sensous rythym of his hips pushing against me combined with the slow stroking of my arousal was the last straw that broke my composure.
//Caro?// he asked.
"Yes, yes Gio, lunch, oak room, 11." I said breathlessly, I can't keep my calm anymore, I gave up trying to sound okay, I absolutely have to end this phone call. I closed my eyes and reached behind me, then I pushed my fingers into his hair, my hand fisted when his agile fingers found a nipple to pinch, and I felt a little light headed as my blood got trapped into that part of me that thinks only of itself.
I heard a chuckle from the other end //It's 12 Fox, 12 noon, your obviously distracted so I won't regale you with more details. See you later okay? Oakroom, 12 noon, lunch. Have fun! Bye.//
He hung up. I dropped the phone, twisted around, caught Hiei's hands with one hand and pinned him to the bed under me. I closed my eyes and fought for a semblance of calm, I refuse to be distracted from the issue at hand. But then his feverish legs wrapped around my waist and our arousals met when he lifted himself to rub against me.
"Hiei!" I growled at him, my eyes flew wide open from the electric shock of that touch and I saw him flinch from the sound of my voice. I pushed his chin up and touched the bruises on his neck. "What happened?" I asked in a softer tone frowning at him.
He glared defiantly at me, a small unspoken battle of wills ensued, we glared at each other for a few heartbeats, then he began struggling. He broke my hold and clamped my head between his hands.
"Suck me." he ordered, while he glared daggers at me.
"Hiei-"
"Suck me off now!" he pushed me down.
What the hell?! I've never seen him like this before!
Shuichi calm down, we would not harm Hiei, him included, I'm sure this is a harmless prank.
I kept glaring at him as I slowly went down on him, I kissed the center of his chest while I took his scent, but his hands kept pushing me down towards his groin, I paused a while over his navel and tasted a purple kiss mark. As soon as I got to his need I had an idea why Hiei is so horny.
I smell no evidence of his completion anywhere but I can smell mine all over him, I breathed in the scent of his sex and saw evidence that his arousal and his sac was bound by a vine that prevented him from coming even in his sleep. It looked painful, I found traces of my kiss even in his most secret places, it's as if... it's as if I licked and kissed every inch of his body.
I pulled my head away from his grasp and brought one of his feet to my lips. Yes, even his toes were sucked.
"Ku-ra-ma!" he grabbed me by my forelocks and ground his lips to mine. "Now, please, onegai!" he panted out while our tounges were still sparring.
That... bastard.
I almost laughed, this is something I would have done in my youth, I felt Shuichi sigh helplessly and fade away.
That bastard knocked Hiei out then screwed him senseless WHILE he was senseless. And Hiei's body remembered all of it, the kisses, the bruises, the touch, the unions. His erogenous zones are littered with signs of rough kisses, plus, he deliberately left traces of his scent, the scent of our completion, all over him.
I pulled away from Hiei's kiss and gave him what he needed, he hissed and cussed when I finally took him between my lips. I couldn't lavished my skill on him, I wanted to prolong the climb to completion but he was moaning most piteously for relief.
I let him come, "Kurama!" he cried my name and his back arched off the bed, his hot essence filled my mouth and there was so much of it! I swallowed and sucked as much of it as I can and I was so pleased when his arousal didn't even relax after he came. So this is possible with Hiei hm?
I looked up at him and found him gasping and swallowing hard but not the least bit ready to stop, so I continued my ministrations. He parted his legs wide encouraging me to touch him there, I used some of his spilled essence and began stroking his insides.
"Almost, unh! Leave me wet, I want to take you." he said between pants.
Well, after what I did last night this is the least I could do, but it's been a while since I last let someone enter me.
I dipped my fingers into his mouth, and his hot tounge twirled and twined with my digits leaving them shiny and slick. I took my fingers from his mouth and spat on his belly. I let go of his straining need with a final wet lick and dipped my fingers into the little puddle I made, then I leaned away from him and touched my entrance with my wet fingers.
He watched me avidly while I prepared myself, but he couldn't last long, he still need it so bad. I got as far as two digits before he was all over me, he hurriedly positioned me on my side with one leg over his shoulder.
This is good, this must have been done to him before because he positioned me without hesitation, he knew this would allow him to reach my sweet spot. He held himself at my entrance, nudged me once, then took me in one urgent push. I grunted and held on to the sheets as he buried himself completely, I'm out of practice, but finally, I get to feel him inside me.
Oh yes, he's a hot little bastard, I can get addicted to this combination of physical heat and searing pain, filling me, stretching me. I groaned againts my wrist not knowing when I had put it over my mouth I'm waiting for him to move, when that wasn't happening I looked up at him.
I watched him watching me, I wiped the beaded sweat off my brows, my thigh threatened to slip off his sweat slicked shoulder. When he was sure he had my attention he began pushing into me slowly but forcefully, every thrust of his hips sent sparks of lovely sensations all over me.
Inari I love what he's doing to me! It's been too damn long, since someone I really care about gave me this. I'm so glad the bed is big and solid, every thrust jarred my entire body upwards and when he picked up his pace I knew a weaker bed would have been banging most unnaturaly fast against the wall because, despite the quicker pace, he kept it deep and forceful.
It turned what's left of my analytical awareness and jaded sex god composure into useless mush.
"So gooood! Unnhh baby harder, fuAH! " I tossed my head against the bed and clutched the sheets tight, I abandoned myself to the indescribable pleasure of Hiei fucking me hard and good.
"Join me. Touch yourself." he ordered and I did as I was told, my hand fumbling as I forcefully unclenched them from the sheets.
I stroked myself and he leaned over pushing my leg against my chest, he suckled my nipple and nipped my throat. His little hand joined mine, soft but calloused fingers twined and brushed against my shaft and hand.
Then we gasped as one when we found that plane where our rythms and pleasures combined, we looked into each others eyes, mouths parted taking breath as one, watching the many faces of ecstasy reflected in each other. Frantic rushing, muscles tightened, muscles clenched, and our lips melded as we muffled each others cry of completion.
We gasped, trying to breathe each other in, and the look of sweet blessed relief on his face made me laugh. He gave me his rare real smile in response and nuzzled my sweaty nose with his equally sweaty nose.
"That was good." I said softly. He let my leg go and our sticky sweaty bodies allowed me to slide him up closer.
"Just good?" he grumbled.
"Hn, it was amazing if I wasn't so worried. Are you aware why you were that horny?" I asked.
"Well... now that you mentioned it." He frowned, deep in thought, then "Why that... kisama...!"
"Pervert? Bastard?" I added helpfully, he sighed with relief and a wry half smile erased his frown.
"I thought he was... nevermind." he said and began licking the odd drops of my completion that managed to reach my neck and my chin; my cheeks and my hair too? Hm!
"He scared you? He's pretty vicious." I asked poking fun at him.
"Hn, scared? I just thought he was really mad at me." he said and it was almost a purr, I ran my fingers up and down his spine loving the rasp of his tounge on my forhead, my neko-chan Hiei is very pleased right now, I am almost loathe to broach the next subject.
That He actually showed himself to Hiei is a miracle in itself, he only comes out when we are in life threatening situations. I really do not want to ask him this but, I can see the bruises around his neck.
"Baby, what happened?" I asked softly, while I ran my fingers over the marks of their smaller counterparts.
He stopped what he was doing and I felt guards go up between us, I wanted to kick myself for that but, I have to know!
He took his time answering me. "You... he was having a nightmare. It was my fault, I shouldn't have touched him, I should have just called your name. He woke up and tried to choke me but, it was alright once he recognized me." He shifted so we were eye to eye "You really can't remember?" he asked.
"No," I shook my head "I don't know what happened last night. Neither does Shuichi. We were both surprised when we saw what he did to you." And what he said wasn't the complete truth either, I can sense it. I'm willing to bet he saw his nightmare, my nightmare, with his Jagan, otherwise he wouldn't be so defensive.
"I see." he looked away "I told him I'll never do that again, I think he forgave me." He said as he rubbed his neck with his thoughts revisiting that night.
I rolled over and put him on his back, I kissed the bruises on his neck and the still livid mark I gave him. "You didn't fight back? You could have avoided getting choked." I whispered against his discolored skin.
"I trust you, you wouldn't really harm me." he said with a confident smile, and his voice was that low sweet tone that never failed to thrill me, until now.
I sighed "I know but, still..." I whispered against his collarbone.
"I wasn't afraid, I was... sad? I don't know." I looked up and found him with his thoughts far away again. "Why did you give me that last glass of champagne?"
I laid my head over his chest and his fingers automatically tangled with my hair. I smiled "I thought since you count your drinks, you'll just hold that one as a prop. But I was hoping you'd drink it because I wanted to be alone with you sooner. I wanted to hold you even if you were asleep, I wanted to feel your skin against mine, just like this." my last words ended in a whisper and a kiss pressed reverently against his bruised throat.
"When you were taking me upstairs..?"
"I took my spirit form and cradled you within me. I think I made use of that trick a lot of times, because it came so easily to me." I saw his face go blank, well, basically his face remained the same but I've been with Hiei long enough to see the minuite changes in his expresions.
He knows what happened to me, he met the third person of our triumverate in his nightmare, he has seen the memories we have given to him. K'so, even Hiei is hiding me from myself, I... I don't like this but I agreed to this, and there must have been a good reason for me to accept this selective amnesia.
He shook his head in disbelief and sighed heavily "How could you-he do that to me? How could he... I wanted to have him too..." he gave up and just sighed again. But not before I caught that nuance in his tone that implied something deeper than his being taken while he was unconscious. Had my memories done him harm?
Ah Hiei! Should I pretend with you or should I try and take back my past? Will you be there for me if the consequences of that memory try and tear us apart? But your siding with my silent and my human self, you don't want me to remmeber. Why? Was it that bad?
"I wanted him." he said softly, as he frowned at the windows.
"He wanted you too, that's why he did that. Your a jaganashi, you might see his thoughts." I said as I lay my head on his chest to hide my frustration. His fingers caressed me tenderly encouraging me to look up and when I did, I saw in his eyes the need to believe my words. I saw his concern for me, then his naked desire to please me, and that concern is tied with the worry that he might loose me.
I give up, I will play along but only because Hiei wants me too. Ch, I'm having a battle of wills against myselves, there isn't a more potent reminder of the fact that I am not psychologiclly sound anymore. I hate that fact! I hate the fact that I could have killed Hiei in his sleep and he would not have raised a hand to defend himself. I hate it that I don't know why I'm like this! I wasn't always like this!
Do you have to ask?! Why must you be so stubborn? Why won't you stand by your initial judgement of this matter?
"Silence I am not talking to you! Go away!" I realized too late that I said that aloud.
I had risen off him and was looking down at Hiei's carefully blank expression, he swallowed hard, then his arms trembled when he raised them to wrap around my neck. I resisted his pull, I can't believe I let that slip pass me! He had such hope in his eyes and I shouted... he knows I wasn't talking to him, he knows...
He tugged harder and I laid my head back on his chest.
"Shhh, it's- it's alright, calm down, shhh." he whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair and down my back. I pressed my face hard on his chest trying to draw on his strength, I wrapped my arms around him and crushed him to me, I heard his breath leave him. I must be hurting him but he wasn't complaining, he just kept brushing his cheek against my forehead, planting random kisses.
He knows but, I let him go, I'm so ashamed of that slip. I have to calm down, I'm scaring him. This... this happened before didn't it?
Yes, you were annoying me and I snapped at you. He was freaked by it.
Gods! Shuichi have mercy on me and get lost!
Your agitation summoned us - no... he's gone.
I felt him fade from me too and I shuddered with the effort to keep myself wrapped around Hiei. I wanted to run and hide myself, I'm so embarrassed, I can't believe I lost control like that.
"Kurama?"
"Hush, just let me hold you." I felt his pain, he understood my frustration, he was going to apologize for something but I reached up and covered his lips with my fingers. "Did you hear his voice?" I asked, hoping he would tell me if he felt his prescence when I didn't even know he was there.
He took awhile to answer and when he did it was in a voice so low it was as if he feared he was being overheard. "No, he speaks in my mind but I don't sense him, it's like my own thoughts are answering me. He... really never speaks?"
I see, so he doesn't know either, "Never, he makes sounds like a fox if he wants, it's his choice to remain quiet. But he does make his thoughts known to us that way too, like getting an insight from out of the blue or your thought have decided to take form all of their own."
"Yes that was how it felt like." his fingers brushed my forhead on their way to my ears. I sighed, He didn't ask but I answered him anyway.
"His thoughts are mine but distinctly his own, we know we are one and the same but we also know we are different. Shuiichi is gone, the silent one always watches but is... unpalpable? He can't be sensed when he dosen't want to be found. They can come out anytime and interfere or take over but, we made a kind of agreement not to do that." I sighed again, how many times have I sighed these few minuites? "It bothers you when this happens?" I said and it sounded like a statement.
He smiled and pushed my chin up so I can see that tender smile he gives to no one but me, he brushed his fingers over my forhead parting my hair "Reminds me that you are not right up here, and that I have to watch over you and take care of you." He silenced a protest I was about to make by sealing my lips between his fingers "I know perectly well what I've gotten myself into, I'm just worried about you."
I looked away from him, still ashamed of what I've become.
"No, don't." he pulled my chin up again forcing me to look at him, he ran that same finger down my nose and over my lips "I desire every aspect of you, I'm not judging you so don't be ashamed. Do I have to remind you everyday that I love all of you?"
He loves me and yet... I feel a bigger and thicker wall between our thoughts, I'm in his arms right now but there's this barrier between us.
I feel... hurt.
Something in my expression must have changed because his arms surrounded me, tightly possesive "I love you Kurama, so much." he whispered softly to my ear and it was spoken with many meanings. He loves all of me, he loves me as I am, he loves my past, present, and future, he just vowed again to stay by my side forever and he was asking me to trust him at the same time.
Can't be helped can it? I have to bow to their decition. I'm outnumbered 3 against one.
Hm... that's funny. I buried my face against his neck to stop myself from laughing. If I laughed, if I gave in, I don't now if I'll be able to stop.
I felt him push me gently away and he gave me a pained smile, he parted his legs and wrapped them around my waist "Come, loose yourself in me, make me yours, you promised me this." he said before he kissed me, and I found nothing but longing in that kiss, a deep desire to be one with me.
I drowned my frustration in that kiss, I burned my resentment against the fire of his passion, I made love with Hiei, slowly and gently. I didn't care about our 3 day agreement nor the time of day, or the lunch date we have. It was 9 in the morning and we have at least 2 and a half hours before we have to go. We have time for this and more time after lunch.
He... he doesn't have to go to that meeting, in case he gets injured I can cover for him, he does not need to leave this room at all, I can feed him here and keep him here...
And Hiei is so beautiful when his desire burns in his eyes! It's enough to make me forget, enough to satisfy me, enough to make it all worth it.
I'm on my side with him in front of me and on his back, I have his hands pinned over his head, his body I twisted so I can drape one of his legs over mine and the midmorning sun can shine full on his displayed self. The sun had broken through grey clouds and it's rays sparked the crimson of his eyes. I can see myself reflected in them and what I saw is a stubborn old demon who can't appreciate his own wisdom and is having a hard time swallowing his own words.
Hiei raised his brows in query so I asked him, "What do you see when you look at me?"
His face brightened and with full confidence he said "The one I will make a part of me forever."
"Hn." I kissed him and his response was a slow fire that fed my passion, it burned to ashes the fear stirred by his words, it burned inside me till I can feel his heat become something physical dancing within my being. I felt his determination, his possesiveness wrap themselves around me in that kiss. My heart ached when he let my lips go.
"Today is the first time we truly made love with each other." He crooned in that deep voice of his, deeper even than my own, it made me sigh with pleasure.
What he said was true, I made love to him back in Hong Kong but he couldn't really respond, I rushed him without any regard for his past. I did all the work and had he resisted, it would have been rape. And yesterday he had relieved my need, he forced me to come leaving me marked and dissatisfied because he wouldn't let me touch him.
"Aa," I nuzzled his temple, and gently nibbled on his ear "Have I told you how much I love you today?" I whispered as I touched his entrance.
He smirked " No."
"I will." And I did.
I told him with my body, with my lips, with my hands, that he's the most precious thing to me. I kissed every bruise he had reveling in this power I have to make him writhe and surrender with complete abandon, I am the only one he surrenders himself to so willingly. He bares his neck to me whether consciously or not, in that physical language foxes, dogs and wolves shared, that act declares my superiority over him, his submission to my will.
It sends a signal straight to my groin, I need to possess him, I need to make him mine to prove to him that I am worthy of his love.
I prepared him carefully and with my hands and lips teased him over and over. I took him to the edge of completion and let him fall, twice, thrice, until he begged me and even threatened me with fire from the deepest pits of hell.
No really, he shouted at me to quit fooling around and finish him off while his arm wards sizzled with dark flames.
I can't help it! Hiei is so... so... touching him, kissing him, pleasing him, it makes me feel so good. It's a pleasure to please him, sucking on his skin gives me such a heady rush I didn't want it to end so soon.
But what a difficult uke I have ne? Strong willed, unconventional, determined, domineering... or maybe he's my seme...? No, equals would be the better description but, I do like the idea of him being top, he proved to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he can take me and satisfy me. Yeah, I finally understand why Shuichi was all whiny when he had to take Hiei and not the other way around, hm, he's such a bitch for Hiei!
This time I will take him, and I will finally understand this aspect of loving Hiei. I sat on my heels and held my love within my arms, he knelt straddling my thighs, arms around my neck, his gratitude clear in his eyes as he poised himself over me in this familiar position.
"Finally." he whispered and he was actually excited.
I know from preparation that he will get hurt, I used a generous amount of lube on him and myself but I know he still needs to get used to me. "When you get hurt...?" I asked and left the sentence for him to complete.
"When? Hn. If I can't do it anymore do it for me, I want to feel you come inside me, do you understand? I don't care if I get hurt." he said and his steady gaze told me he isn't ruled over by his lust, instead, I can see his ghosts haunting him.
I sighed "Your doing it again." but I smiled anyway as I buried my face on his chest and held him tightly to me.
"Yes I am, you have already set me free my husband, but this is a matter of pride."
"Pride? Ah! Slow down!" I caught him before he lowered himself too fast and guided him slowly.
His breathing hitched, his muscles tensed, I looked up and watched his face contort with pain, his back arched and his hands clawed at my shoulders piercing my skin. A low groan escaped him as I felt my tip enter his tight heat. I held him up and focused on him, mastering my own need to possess him, that need to finally feel for myself that intense heat Shuiichi, despite his whining, nevertheless enjoyed.
His head descended on my shoulder, and I felt his nails pull free of my broken skin leaving eight bloody quarter moons. His hands turned into fists against my neck and in a tight voice he said. "I feel like I'm being split in half." before he lowered himself again.
I hissed as that increadible heat surrounded more than half of my need. "Slowly Hiei, dammit!" I heard a strained chuckle, I knew he's in pain, but I also know there's no backing away from this. I let him lower himself some more, he groaned like a wounded animal and his teeth pierced my shoulder as he practically impaled himself on my need.
I hissed while he muffled whatever sound he could have made on my shoulder, I gritted my teeth and held on to him desperately because that tight, hot, place I found myself in was driving me mad with need to possess him.
He's burning me! Those female fire youkai I sampled don't even begin to compare to this! His heat and that tight, tight sheath is-ah dammit I want to break him! I want to give him my passion, I want to...
I need to calm down, I can feel the tension surrounding me and I know that if I take him roughly he will get hurt, if I let myself loose and do as I want... I'm glad Hiei isn't human, I'm so glad he's a fast healer, but even so, I must take care of him.
I took a deep steadying breath and focused my attention on him as he sucked at the wound he had given me. Good, he's giving himself and me time to adjust, he must be in real pain then, the initial shock is wearing off and I feel calmer now that he's given us some time. We can't stop in the middle of this, he would be furious if I called this off and honestly, I wanted nothing more than to go through with this. I licked the sweat off his nape "Do you want to go through with this my love?"
In response, he let my wound go and I watched him lick crimson off his lips while he slowly raised himself off me. I can feel how his knees had gone weak so I held him up, just in time too because he let go rather than lowered himself back down.
The raw look of hurt passed his face before he growled and glared at me as he raised himself again with renewed determination. He's using his anger to manage his pain.
But no, no that won't do, I forced him to stop by wrapping him in my arms. I kissed him, his eyes closed, but I kept mine open to watch the way his brows came together in admission. "Not like this, I don't want your anger, give me your trust, I will take care of you." I said to his open mouth.
"Take me, I... ca-can't-" he said in a hoarse voice and the taste and smell of my blood were in his words. I hooked an arm under his knee and held on to his waist, with my other hand I supported his back and neck, I then lifted him bodily off me till I was almost out, then lowered him back.
He weighed almost nothing in my arms, I used him like a living doll, and when that insane need to take him came over me I let myself go.
I couldn't help myself, there's this expression that came over Hiei's face that made me throw caution to the winds. Helplessness, surrender, lust, without words his entire body screamed at me to violate him.
I raised myself to my knees and pushed into him, his body arched and twisted in my arms as if it was trying to get away from me, he tossed his head back and gave a voiceless scream. I did it again and felt a sudden give, something hot trickled down my shaft. So I lowered him to the bed, raised his hips and stuffed pillows under his back.
He was looking at me while I was doing this and his eyes glistened blood red, the smell of his blood and mine are now part of the mingled scents of our love making. His body is now completely slack, and though his eyes were rimmed with unshed tears, they were also glazed by an endorphine rush.
He smiled at me, his true rare smile was made more beautiful by his unshed tears and the knot of pain that had furrowed his brows. It made my heart ache, I blinked several times to clear my vision because I need to remember this moment with all clarity. This precious moment Hiei gave his body to me.
Slowly, he raised his feet to my shoulders and his hands went up to tightly hold the pillow over his head, he nodded.
I nodded in reply and with my hands firmly around his waist took him with all my pent up need.
His face was uninhibited as it expressed his pain and his pleasure. His willing body sang to the beast within me, I took him hard and fast, without mercy or care, his slight body arched to recieve me, his jaw tightly clenched. When I touched his need I heard a cry try and force it's way through gritted teeth. He came violently, his body twisted the muscles of his neck corded with the effort to keep his mouth shut. But then he tore the pillow he was holding on to and goose down feathers filled the air around us.
"Hiei!" I came while his sheath was still stroking me, I watched his seed vie with the feathers for places on his sweat sheened, flushed and fevered body.
I watched as he slowly opened his eyes to blink at the soft white fall and the most loving, most vulnerable expression came upon him. That look is mine alone, I am the only one who has seen that, he is mine. I took him and he is mine!
I pulled him from the bed and crushed him into my arms. I rocked him and buried my nose in his hair, I refused to let him go even when he whispered he was going to rest, I held him till he was breathing evenly and is once more completely slack in my arms.
I never pulled myself out of him all that time I held him and I am aware of that steady trickle of hot fluid that found it's way down my shaft to stain the white sheets under the blanket. I let him bleed, it will help wash out anything infectious that might get into his wounds. Hn, yeah right, I'm being very selfish.
I didn't want to let him go, I wanted to stay like that, physically connected to him, if Ican't have his thoughts close to me then I'll have his body.
I forced myself to lay him back on his nest of down and pulled myself out of him before the sight of our connected bodies arouse me once more. His body jerked when I did this, his brows furrowed, but he remained unconscious.
I engraved this image in my mind and in my heart, I wanted to stay here and just look at him till the sun set and rose but I can't, I have to treat him.
I raised his hips so I can see his entrance, it wasn't as bad as I imagined but he was still bleeding, I licked him there, closed my eyes and groaned. I shouldn't have done that, the mixed taste of my seed and his blood aroused me. I forced myself to leave him and get a wash cloth, if I hadn't done that, I might end up taking him even if he's unconscious and make him worse.
I pulled the hunters leaf from my hair and began chewing it to get the taste of lust off my tounge and to get rid of the temptation to go back for more. I wrung hot water off the little beige towels I picked and ran back to bed as fast as I could ignoring that blissful after effect of love making he had succumbed to. I have a responsibility, and that is to take care of my little shujin (1).
I smiled, my husband and master lay sprawled out, almost snoring, flushed skin strewn with feathers, he looks so... fulfilled. I looked down at myself and my renewed arousal and sighed heavily, I will have to take care of that later.
I raised his hips once more, cleaned him with the washcloth and licked his entrance with my tounge coated in bitter leaf pulp. I fed him my youki to seal and hasten the healing of his wound, that done I began wiping his body clean.
I shook the feathers out of the washcloth several times while I was wiping him, I didn't bother cleaning him thorougly because he likes my scent on him and we can always have a bath later. I tucked him in between the sheets and was amazed that he slept through all that, he was as slack as a living doll without a command.
A living doll...
Hiei's youkai mask had looked like a shattered Noh mask. It's lower half gone so his slack open mouth could be seen, it had a ward against the evil eye embedded on it's forhead, and 2 black dots for eye brows over his real eyes. The living mask fed on his youki, and is attached to his face by fleshy appendages that pierce the scalp and the perimeter of his eyes. Once the host succumbs to the mask it digs itself under the skin and becomes a part of that host, and depending on the kind of mask given, the doll either becomes an irresistably beautiful, souless sex slave or a fearless absolutely obedient fighter.
Kissaki was it? He wasn't the greatest of the mask weilding youkai but he knew what he had when he found Hiei. Hn, he gave him a Koomote noh, a female mask and not a mempo(2) or any other mask.
That Hiei lasted more than a month was a miracle in itself, the mask slowly erodes the hosts ego until there's nothing left but a pliant living doll, a toy the master of the mask can command to do whatever he wants.
A few minuites ago he was that doll in my arms, his will was there, he gave of himself freely but I could have done whatever I wanted with him and he would not have complained. I could have forced him out of his stupor to service me and he would have done so, Hiei would have continued despite the state he was in.
Now that I'm calm and not in the throes of passion, I feel guilty about hurting him, I wanted to stay and take care of him, I want to be the first thing he sees when he awakens but, I have an appointment.
Hmm, I missed a spot. I took his hiroseki between my lips and sucked on them for a few seconds. Perhaps this is the right time for me to give that little present I had in mind.
I have less than 30 minuites before noon, I kissed his slack smiling lips then I pressed my lips on the blanket over his sex before I tore myself off him and took a shower. I washed myself hurriedly and took care of my need while I was at it, then I pulled fresh clothes on before I sat at Hiei's feet to brush my damp hair. I have roughly less than 10 minuites left and I spend that time watching him sleep while I braided a tiny section of my hair.
I thought of my love for this demon and braided those thoughts into my hair, I brought to fore my intense need to protect him and braided that in too, my desire to have him, my desire for his happiness, I wished him luck and prosperity, wisdom and old age, I want him to be fertile, if he begets children outside of our relationship I would think of them as my own. I seriously doubt he'll have an affair with that kind of possesive loyalty but just in case ne?
We are promiscous by nature but Hiei's kind aren't, perhaps it will hurt me if I find out he was with someone else but, I want his happiness. I'm happy when he's happy and that's whats important, because of that I'm going to be completely faithful to him, I will look at no one but him.
Hmmm and I wish him more adventures, more fun, I thought of all the things I want for him till I reached the end of my braid.
I cut the damp braid off with a quick slash of my nails then broke the old string of leather that bore Hiei's hiroseki. I threaded them into my braid and wove the braid's ends together. It was past noon but I didn't care, I made sure his new necklace was secure and well made.
When I was satisfied with it I bent to kiss him again. He groaned and hooked an arm over my neck. "Hey baby, I have to go downstairs to talk to Gio and Marie, you rest okay? I'll be back as soon as I can." he mumbled something unintelligible, but he let me go and went back to sleep.
I kissed the center of his chest, tucked him in once more and left him there, like a fallen angel surrounded by his lost feathers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) Goshujin- literally lord and husband. Goshujin means husband to the japanese and when the wives call their hubbys that it has a tone of endearment to it. It generally has no derogatory connotations.
(2) Mempo - Samurai armor face mask
by: Baby Nyx
Description : Kurama POV, Lemon, another lemon...
Key : //words// = telephone conversation
"I'm not in denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept."
-Calvin and Hobbes
The phone rang, once, twice, I reached out to answer it but a soft weight decended on my face effectively pinning me to the bed. I almost panicked but the familliar heat and scent and the deep hoarse "Aa?" made me stop from pushing him away.
I opened my mouth and gave the offending belly a big wet raspberry.
"'Yaro!" he growled and was off me just like that, he glared at me from a safe distance while I snickered behind my hand.
I gasped and my eyes must have gone round as saucers as I saw Hiei's naked body.
Hiei looked down at himself, gasped, then turned away from me but not before I had a good look at the bruises and hickies all over his body. Inari his... I almost fell off the bed to get to him. I knelt and pressed my hand over the bruise on his leg, he jumped at my touch but didn't move away.
"Pardon?" he said to the phone "Thank you, I'm sure Fox is handling the details, please whatever arrangements is agreed upon, I would be honored if you and your friends are there to celebrate with us."
My hand fits the bruise perfectly! But I didn't do that! This oval bruise on his behind is the exact shape of my teeth, I turned him around, and dammit even his sex wasn't spared. My fingers bruised his forearm, his neck...!
"Yes Gio, Fox is here, he's changing right now." He swatted my hand away and told me with a nod to do what I must.
I felt weak and sick all of a sudden, I actually choked Hiei? HE did this, was he trying to kill Hiei? Dammit! Youko? Youko! Look at what he did to Hiei.
Hm? Oh... Shit...
I felt Shuichi let go but he hovered at the back of my mind. I changed into my form while I glared at the bruises at the back of Hiei's knee. He had turned away again as he spoke on the phone.
"Your welcome. I believe we have time, my assistant is away and Fox volunteered to act in his stead, I'm sure he has our schedule figured out, here, ask him." He handed me the phone. "He wants to meet us for lunch today."
I was frowning when I took the phone from him, we couldn't find that part of myself responsible for what happened to Hiei. Dammit what did happened?
"Yes Gio?" Hiei crossed his arms and watched me intently as I sat back on the bed, he was looking at me like... like a predator. His eyes darkened, and I saw his littler self spring to life, he licked his lower lip, and slowly he came back to bed. K'so what's that look in his eyes? Is that what I think it is? I have never...
//Caro go grab a copy of the New York Times and that gossip rag People's magazine? Guess what? You made it in their front page! GQ is publishing this weekend and you'll be in it too!//
"Awesome." I paid Gio partial attention because I'm half afraid of what my lover is going to do. His nails lightly raked the underside of my arm, sending gooseflesh and shivers down my spine, then his lips began tracing a line from that shoulder to my neck.
I took care not to crush the phone in my hand so Gio can babble on about Whitfields who talked to him after I took Hiei upstairs and Stefan who knew Hiei by description alone. He wasn't sure if it was really him and since he didn't sit at their table he had let him be.
I already knew that from last night, only Ken and Stef knew about Hiei and both weren't the outgoing, talkative type, they weren't close as friends either because Ken works all the time in his import/export shop.
Hiei began fondling my tail then, I took a deep long breath as gooseflesh went up my spine.
//... and then there's Mitch from Vida Inc. They are THE premier modeling agency in the world, he wants to talk to you but I said you won't be interested, you can always change your mind...//
"No I don't think I'll change my mind about that." he's tugging my tail now, ah Inari, it's melting me! I reached behind me to catch his hands and shook my head in the negative. I pointed at the phone and tried to glare him into behaving himself.
Good luck Youko, but that's not going to work.
And Shuiichi was right, that stubborn look he gave me is a dead give away.
//We were brainstorming last night after you left and we've got the entire thing planned out, I need you to meet with me and Marie to go over things at lunch, 12 pm at the Oak room of this hotel. Everybody is busy right now, we want to make sure Wednesday afternoon is free for your date with destiny.//
Warm fingers parted the hair at the back of my neck and hot, moist kisses followed. I shuddered involuntarily when he began nipping me gently, teeth grazed my skin and clicked together as they missed flesh, I could feel every heated breath that he took and gave. His fingers, the heat of his skin warming me, his core beating strong and fast, the scent of his arousal... I bit my lower lip and clamped down on my own responses.
"Gio how can I thank you enough?" I asked my breath hitching because Hiei's lips have found my ears. My core thundered as I felt Hiei's teeth grazing the delicate cartilage, I have learned to be wary of Hiei's teeth, oh gods... He's forcing my head back, baring my neck so he can keep sucking on my ear while he rubs himself against my tail and my back. It's getting so hard to keep my breathing even!
//Think nothing of it Fox, your amore just invited us and we are really looking forward to it. I'm so glad you chose to wear that suit, I'd love to see it go down the aisle on you. Jim will be there, as well as Tianna and Claudia, she delayed her flight to London so she can flirt with you to the last minuite. Ah Deo! Let's just meet over lunch and discuss details ci? There are so many things I want to tell you from last night! You are the talk of the town, plus the things the gossip mags are saying today!//
A moan escaped me when his hand found my need, he abandoned my ears and his fingernails scraped me as he pushed my head to one side. He stroked me lazily while he nibbled on my throat, little lovebites that neither bruised nor broke skin, but sent shudders of anticipated pain throughout my entire body. The slow sensous rythym of his hips pushing against me combined with the slow stroking of my arousal was the last straw that broke my composure.
//Caro?// he asked.
"Yes, yes Gio, lunch, oak room, 11." I said breathlessly, I can't keep my calm anymore, I gave up trying to sound okay, I absolutely have to end this phone call. I closed my eyes and reached behind me, then I pushed my fingers into his hair, my hand fisted when his agile fingers found a nipple to pinch, and I felt a little light headed as my blood got trapped into that part of me that thinks only of itself.
I heard a chuckle from the other end //It's 12 Fox, 12 noon, your obviously distracted so I won't regale you with more details. See you later okay? Oakroom, 12 noon, lunch. Have fun! Bye.//
He hung up. I dropped the phone, twisted around, caught Hiei's hands with one hand and pinned him to the bed under me. I closed my eyes and fought for a semblance of calm, I refuse to be distracted from the issue at hand. But then his feverish legs wrapped around my waist and our arousals met when he lifted himself to rub against me.
"Hiei!" I growled at him, my eyes flew wide open from the electric shock of that touch and I saw him flinch from the sound of my voice. I pushed his chin up and touched the bruises on his neck. "What happened?" I asked in a softer tone frowning at him.
He glared defiantly at me, a small unspoken battle of wills ensued, we glared at each other for a few heartbeats, then he began struggling. He broke my hold and clamped my head between his hands.
"Suck me." he ordered, while he glared daggers at me.
"Hiei-"
"Suck me off now!" he pushed me down.
What the hell?! I've never seen him like this before!
Shuichi calm down, we would not harm Hiei, him included, I'm sure this is a harmless prank.
I kept glaring at him as I slowly went down on him, I kissed the center of his chest while I took his scent, but his hands kept pushing me down towards his groin, I paused a while over his navel and tasted a purple kiss mark. As soon as I got to his need I had an idea why Hiei is so horny.
I smell no evidence of his completion anywhere but I can smell mine all over him, I breathed in the scent of his sex and saw evidence that his arousal and his sac was bound by a vine that prevented him from coming even in his sleep. It looked painful, I found traces of my kiss even in his most secret places, it's as if... it's as if I licked and kissed every inch of his body.
I pulled my head away from his grasp and brought one of his feet to my lips. Yes, even his toes were sucked.
"Ku-ra-ma!" he grabbed me by my forelocks and ground his lips to mine. "Now, please, onegai!" he panted out while our tounges were still sparring.
That... bastard.
I almost laughed, this is something I would have done in my youth, I felt Shuichi sigh helplessly and fade away.
That bastard knocked Hiei out then screwed him senseless WHILE he was senseless. And Hiei's body remembered all of it, the kisses, the bruises, the touch, the unions. His erogenous zones are littered with signs of rough kisses, plus, he deliberately left traces of his scent, the scent of our completion, all over him.
I pulled away from Hiei's kiss and gave him what he needed, he hissed and cussed when I finally took him between my lips. I couldn't lavished my skill on him, I wanted to prolong the climb to completion but he was moaning most piteously for relief.
I let him come, "Kurama!" he cried my name and his back arched off the bed, his hot essence filled my mouth and there was so much of it! I swallowed and sucked as much of it as I can and I was so pleased when his arousal didn't even relax after he came. So this is possible with Hiei hm?
I looked up at him and found him gasping and swallowing hard but not the least bit ready to stop, so I continued my ministrations. He parted his legs wide encouraging me to touch him there, I used some of his spilled essence and began stroking his insides.
"Almost, unh! Leave me wet, I want to take you." he said between pants.
Well, after what I did last night this is the least I could do, but it's been a while since I last let someone enter me.
I dipped my fingers into his mouth, and his hot tounge twirled and twined with my digits leaving them shiny and slick. I took my fingers from his mouth and spat on his belly. I let go of his straining need with a final wet lick and dipped my fingers into the little puddle I made, then I leaned away from him and touched my entrance with my wet fingers.
He watched me avidly while I prepared myself, but he couldn't last long, he still need it so bad. I got as far as two digits before he was all over me, he hurriedly positioned me on my side with one leg over his shoulder.
This is good, this must have been done to him before because he positioned me without hesitation, he knew this would allow him to reach my sweet spot. He held himself at my entrance, nudged me once, then took me in one urgent push. I grunted and held on to the sheets as he buried himself completely, I'm out of practice, but finally, I get to feel him inside me.
Oh yes, he's a hot little bastard, I can get addicted to this combination of physical heat and searing pain, filling me, stretching me. I groaned againts my wrist not knowing when I had put it over my mouth I'm waiting for him to move, when that wasn't happening I looked up at him.
I watched him watching me, I wiped the beaded sweat off my brows, my thigh threatened to slip off his sweat slicked shoulder. When he was sure he had my attention he began pushing into me slowly but forcefully, every thrust of his hips sent sparks of lovely sensations all over me.
Inari I love what he's doing to me! It's been too damn long, since someone I really care about gave me this. I'm so glad the bed is big and solid, every thrust jarred my entire body upwards and when he picked up his pace I knew a weaker bed would have been banging most unnaturaly fast against the wall because, despite the quicker pace, he kept it deep and forceful.
It turned what's left of my analytical awareness and jaded sex god composure into useless mush.
"So gooood! Unnhh baby harder, fuAH! " I tossed my head against the bed and clutched the sheets tight, I abandoned myself to the indescribable pleasure of Hiei fucking me hard and good.
"Join me. Touch yourself." he ordered and I did as I was told, my hand fumbling as I forcefully unclenched them from the sheets.
I stroked myself and he leaned over pushing my leg against my chest, he suckled my nipple and nipped my throat. His little hand joined mine, soft but calloused fingers twined and brushed against my shaft and hand.
Then we gasped as one when we found that plane where our rythms and pleasures combined, we looked into each others eyes, mouths parted taking breath as one, watching the many faces of ecstasy reflected in each other. Frantic rushing, muscles tightened, muscles clenched, and our lips melded as we muffled each others cry of completion.
We gasped, trying to breathe each other in, and the look of sweet blessed relief on his face made me laugh. He gave me his rare real smile in response and nuzzled my sweaty nose with his equally sweaty nose.
"That was good." I said softly. He let my leg go and our sticky sweaty bodies allowed me to slide him up closer.
"Just good?" he grumbled.
"Hn, it was amazing if I wasn't so worried. Are you aware why you were that horny?" I asked.
"Well... now that you mentioned it." He frowned, deep in thought, then "Why that... kisama...!"
"Pervert? Bastard?" I added helpfully, he sighed with relief and a wry half smile erased his frown.
"I thought he was... nevermind." he said and began licking the odd drops of my completion that managed to reach my neck and my chin; my cheeks and my hair too? Hm!
"He scared you? He's pretty vicious." I asked poking fun at him.
"Hn, scared? I just thought he was really mad at me." he said and it was almost a purr, I ran my fingers up and down his spine loving the rasp of his tounge on my forhead, my neko-chan Hiei is very pleased right now, I am almost loathe to broach the next subject.
That He actually showed himself to Hiei is a miracle in itself, he only comes out when we are in life threatening situations. I really do not want to ask him this but, I can see the bruises around his neck.
"Baby, what happened?" I asked softly, while I ran my fingers over the marks of their smaller counterparts.
He stopped what he was doing and I felt guards go up between us, I wanted to kick myself for that but, I have to know!
He took his time answering me. "You... he was having a nightmare. It was my fault, I shouldn't have touched him, I should have just called your name. He woke up and tried to choke me but, it was alright once he recognized me." He shifted so we were eye to eye "You really can't remember?" he asked.
"No," I shook my head "I don't know what happened last night. Neither does Shuichi. We were both surprised when we saw what he did to you." And what he said wasn't the complete truth either, I can sense it. I'm willing to bet he saw his nightmare, my nightmare, with his Jagan, otherwise he wouldn't be so defensive.
"I see." he looked away "I told him I'll never do that again, I think he forgave me." He said as he rubbed his neck with his thoughts revisiting that night.
I rolled over and put him on his back, I kissed the bruises on his neck and the still livid mark I gave him. "You didn't fight back? You could have avoided getting choked." I whispered against his discolored skin.
"I trust you, you wouldn't really harm me." he said with a confident smile, and his voice was that low sweet tone that never failed to thrill me, until now.
I sighed "I know but, still..." I whispered against his collarbone.
"I wasn't afraid, I was... sad? I don't know." I looked up and found him with his thoughts far away again. "Why did you give me that last glass of champagne?"
I laid my head over his chest and his fingers automatically tangled with my hair. I smiled "I thought since you count your drinks, you'll just hold that one as a prop. But I was hoping you'd drink it because I wanted to be alone with you sooner. I wanted to hold you even if you were asleep, I wanted to feel your skin against mine, just like this." my last words ended in a whisper and a kiss pressed reverently against his bruised throat.
"When you were taking me upstairs..?"
"I took my spirit form and cradled you within me. I think I made use of that trick a lot of times, because it came so easily to me." I saw his face go blank, well, basically his face remained the same but I've been with Hiei long enough to see the minuite changes in his expresions.
He knows what happened to me, he met the third person of our triumverate in his nightmare, he has seen the memories we have given to him. K'so, even Hiei is hiding me from myself, I... I don't like this but I agreed to this, and there must have been a good reason for me to accept this selective amnesia.
He shook his head in disbelief and sighed heavily "How could you-he do that to me? How could he... I wanted to have him too..." he gave up and just sighed again. But not before I caught that nuance in his tone that implied something deeper than his being taken while he was unconscious. Had my memories done him harm?
Ah Hiei! Should I pretend with you or should I try and take back my past? Will you be there for me if the consequences of that memory try and tear us apart? But your siding with my silent and my human self, you don't want me to remmeber. Why? Was it that bad?
"I wanted him." he said softly, as he frowned at the windows.
"He wanted you too, that's why he did that. Your a jaganashi, you might see his thoughts." I said as I lay my head on his chest to hide my frustration. His fingers caressed me tenderly encouraging me to look up and when I did, I saw in his eyes the need to believe my words. I saw his concern for me, then his naked desire to please me, and that concern is tied with the worry that he might loose me.
I give up, I will play along but only because Hiei wants me too. Ch, I'm having a battle of wills against myselves, there isn't a more potent reminder of the fact that I am not psychologiclly sound anymore. I hate that fact! I hate the fact that I could have killed Hiei in his sleep and he would not have raised a hand to defend himself. I hate it that I don't know why I'm like this! I wasn't always like this!
Do you have to ask?! Why must you be so stubborn? Why won't you stand by your initial judgement of this matter?
"Silence I am not talking to you! Go away!" I realized too late that I said that aloud.
I had risen off him and was looking down at Hiei's carefully blank expression, he swallowed hard, then his arms trembled when he raised them to wrap around my neck. I resisted his pull, I can't believe I let that slip pass me! He had such hope in his eyes and I shouted... he knows I wasn't talking to him, he knows...
He tugged harder and I laid my head back on his chest.
"Shhh, it's- it's alright, calm down, shhh." he whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair and down my back. I pressed my face hard on his chest trying to draw on his strength, I wrapped my arms around him and crushed him to me, I heard his breath leave him. I must be hurting him but he wasn't complaining, he just kept brushing his cheek against my forehead, planting random kisses.
He knows but, I let him go, I'm so ashamed of that slip. I have to calm down, I'm scaring him. This... this happened before didn't it?
Yes, you were annoying me and I snapped at you. He was freaked by it.
Gods! Shuichi have mercy on me and get lost!
Your agitation summoned us - no... he's gone.
I felt him fade from me too and I shuddered with the effort to keep myself wrapped around Hiei. I wanted to run and hide myself, I'm so embarrassed, I can't believe I lost control like that.
"Kurama?"
"Hush, just let me hold you." I felt his pain, he understood my frustration, he was going to apologize for something but I reached up and covered his lips with my fingers. "Did you hear his voice?" I asked, hoping he would tell me if he felt his prescence when I didn't even know he was there.
He took awhile to answer and when he did it was in a voice so low it was as if he feared he was being overheard. "No, he speaks in my mind but I don't sense him, it's like my own thoughts are answering me. He... really never speaks?"
I see, so he doesn't know either, "Never, he makes sounds like a fox if he wants, it's his choice to remain quiet. But he does make his thoughts known to us that way too, like getting an insight from out of the blue or your thought have decided to take form all of their own."
"Yes that was how it felt like." his fingers brushed my forhead on their way to my ears. I sighed, He didn't ask but I answered him anyway.
"His thoughts are mine but distinctly his own, we know we are one and the same but we also know we are different. Shuiichi is gone, the silent one always watches but is... unpalpable? He can't be sensed when he dosen't want to be found. They can come out anytime and interfere or take over but, we made a kind of agreement not to do that." I sighed again, how many times have I sighed these few minuites? "It bothers you when this happens?" I said and it sounded like a statement.
He smiled and pushed my chin up so I can see that tender smile he gives to no one but me, he brushed his fingers over my forhead parting my hair "Reminds me that you are not right up here, and that I have to watch over you and take care of you." He silenced a protest I was about to make by sealing my lips between his fingers "I know perectly well what I've gotten myself into, I'm just worried about you."
I looked away from him, still ashamed of what I've become.
"No, don't." he pulled my chin up again forcing me to look at him, he ran that same finger down my nose and over my lips "I desire every aspect of you, I'm not judging you so don't be ashamed. Do I have to remind you everyday that I love all of you?"
He loves me and yet... I feel a bigger and thicker wall between our thoughts, I'm in his arms right now but there's this barrier between us.
I feel... hurt.
Something in my expression must have changed because his arms surrounded me, tightly possesive "I love you Kurama, so much." he whispered softly to my ear and it was spoken with many meanings. He loves all of me, he loves me as I am, he loves my past, present, and future, he just vowed again to stay by my side forever and he was asking me to trust him at the same time.
Can't be helped can it? I have to bow to their decition. I'm outnumbered 3 against one.
Hm... that's funny. I buried my face against his neck to stop myself from laughing. If I laughed, if I gave in, I don't now if I'll be able to stop.
I felt him push me gently away and he gave me a pained smile, he parted his legs and wrapped them around my waist "Come, loose yourself in me, make me yours, you promised me this." he said before he kissed me, and I found nothing but longing in that kiss, a deep desire to be one with me.
I drowned my frustration in that kiss, I burned my resentment against the fire of his passion, I made love with Hiei, slowly and gently. I didn't care about our 3 day agreement nor the time of day, or the lunch date we have. It was 9 in the morning and we have at least 2 and a half hours before we have to go. We have time for this and more time after lunch.
He... he doesn't have to go to that meeting, in case he gets injured I can cover for him, he does not need to leave this room at all, I can feed him here and keep him here...
And Hiei is so beautiful when his desire burns in his eyes! It's enough to make me forget, enough to satisfy me, enough to make it all worth it.
I'm on my side with him in front of me and on his back, I have his hands pinned over his head, his body I twisted so I can drape one of his legs over mine and the midmorning sun can shine full on his displayed self. The sun had broken through grey clouds and it's rays sparked the crimson of his eyes. I can see myself reflected in them and what I saw is a stubborn old demon who can't appreciate his own wisdom and is having a hard time swallowing his own words.
Hiei raised his brows in query so I asked him, "What do you see when you look at me?"
His face brightened and with full confidence he said "The one I will make a part of me forever."
"Hn." I kissed him and his response was a slow fire that fed my passion, it burned to ashes the fear stirred by his words, it burned inside me till I can feel his heat become something physical dancing within my being. I felt his determination, his possesiveness wrap themselves around me in that kiss. My heart ached when he let my lips go.
"Today is the first time we truly made love with each other." He crooned in that deep voice of his, deeper even than my own, it made me sigh with pleasure.
What he said was true, I made love to him back in Hong Kong but he couldn't really respond, I rushed him without any regard for his past. I did all the work and had he resisted, it would have been rape. And yesterday he had relieved my need, he forced me to come leaving me marked and dissatisfied because he wouldn't let me touch him.
"Aa," I nuzzled his temple, and gently nibbled on his ear "Have I told you how much I love you today?" I whispered as I touched his entrance.
He smirked " No."
"I will." And I did.
I told him with my body, with my lips, with my hands, that he's the most precious thing to me. I kissed every bruise he had reveling in this power I have to make him writhe and surrender with complete abandon, I am the only one he surrenders himself to so willingly. He bares his neck to me whether consciously or not, in that physical language foxes, dogs and wolves shared, that act declares my superiority over him, his submission to my will.
It sends a signal straight to my groin, I need to possess him, I need to make him mine to prove to him that I am worthy of his love.
I prepared him carefully and with my hands and lips teased him over and over. I took him to the edge of completion and let him fall, twice, thrice, until he begged me and even threatened me with fire from the deepest pits of hell.
No really, he shouted at me to quit fooling around and finish him off while his arm wards sizzled with dark flames.
I can't help it! Hiei is so... so... touching him, kissing him, pleasing him, it makes me feel so good. It's a pleasure to please him, sucking on his skin gives me such a heady rush I didn't want it to end so soon.
But what a difficult uke I have ne? Strong willed, unconventional, determined, domineering... or maybe he's my seme...? No, equals would be the better description but, I do like the idea of him being top, he proved to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he can take me and satisfy me. Yeah, I finally understand why Shuichi was all whiny when he had to take Hiei and not the other way around, hm, he's such a bitch for Hiei!
This time I will take him, and I will finally understand this aspect of loving Hiei. I sat on my heels and held my love within my arms, he knelt straddling my thighs, arms around my neck, his gratitude clear in his eyes as he poised himself over me in this familiar position.
"Finally." he whispered and he was actually excited.
I know from preparation that he will get hurt, I used a generous amount of lube on him and myself but I know he still needs to get used to me. "When you get hurt...?" I asked and left the sentence for him to complete.
"When? Hn. If I can't do it anymore do it for me, I want to feel you come inside me, do you understand? I don't care if I get hurt." he said and his steady gaze told me he isn't ruled over by his lust, instead, I can see his ghosts haunting him.
I sighed "Your doing it again." but I smiled anyway as I buried my face on his chest and held him tightly to me.
"Yes I am, you have already set me free my husband, but this is a matter of pride."
"Pride? Ah! Slow down!" I caught him before he lowered himself too fast and guided him slowly.
His breathing hitched, his muscles tensed, I looked up and watched his face contort with pain, his back arched and his hands clawed at my shoulders piercing my skin. A low groan escaped him as I felt my tip enter his tight heat. I held him up and focused on him, mastering my own need to possess him, that need to finally feel for myself that intense heat Shuiichi, despite his whining, nevertheless enjoyed.
His head descended on my shoulder, and I felt his nails pull free of my broken skin leaving eight bloody quarter moons. His hands turned into fists against my neck and in a tight voice he said. "I feel like I'm being split in half." before he lowered himself again.
I hissed as that increadible heat surrounded more than half of my need. "Slowly Hiei, dammit!" I heard a strained chuckle, I knew he's in pain, but I also know there's no backing away from this. I let him lower himself some more, he groaned like a wounded animal and his teeth pierced my shoulder as he practically impaled himself on my need.
I hissed while he muffled whatever sound he could have made on my shoulder, I gritted my teeth and held on to him desperately because that tight, hot, place I found myself in was driving me mad with need to possess him.
He's burning me! Those female fire youkai I sampled don't even begin to compare to this! His heat and that tight, tight sheath is-ah dammit I want to break him! I want to give him my passion, I want to...
I need to calm down, I can feel the tension surrounding me and I know that if I take him roughly he will get hurt, if I let myself loose and do as I want... I'm glad Hiei isn't human, I'm so glad he's a fast healer, but even so, I must take care of him.
I took a deep steadying breath and focused my attention on him as he sucked at the wound he had given me. Good, he's giving himself and me time to adjust, he must be in real pain then, the initial shock is wearing off and I feel calmer now that he's given us some time. We can't stop in the middle of this, he would be furious if I called this off and honestly, I wanted nothing more than to go through with this. I licked the sweat off his nape "Do you want to go through with this my love?"
In response, he let my wound go and I watched him lick crimson off his lips while he slowly raised himself off me. I can feel how his knees had gone weak so I held him up, just in time too because he let go rather than lowered himself back down.
The raw look of hurt passed his face before he growled and glared at me as he raised himself again with renewed determination. He's using his anger to manage his pain.
But no, no that won't do, I forced him to stop by wrapping him in my arms. I kissed him, his eyes closed, but I kept mine open to watch the way his brows came together in admission. "Not like this, I don't want your anger, give me your trust, I will take care of you." I said to his open mouth.
"Take me, I... ca-can't-" he said in a hoarse voice and the taste and smell of my blood were in his words. I hooked an arm under his knee and held on to his waist, with my other hand I supported his back and neck, I then lifted him bodily off me till I was almost out, then lowered him back.
He weighed almost nothing in my arms, I used him like a living doll, and when that insane need to take him came over me I let myself go.
I couldn't help myself, there's this expression that came over Hiei's face that made me throw caution to the winds. Helplessness, surrender, lust, without words his entire body screamed at me to violate him.
I raised myself to my knees and pushed into him, his body arched and twisted in my arms as if it was trying to get away from me, he tossed his head back and gave a voiceless scream. I did it again and felt a sudden give, something hot trickled down my shaft. So I lowered him to the bed, raised his hips and stuffed pillows under his back.
He was looking at me while I was doing this and his eyes glistened blood red, the smell of his blood and mine are now part of the mingled scents of our love making. His body is now completely slack, and though his eyes were rimmed with unshed tears, they were also glazed by an endorphine rush.
He smiled at me, his true rare smile was made more beautiful by his unshed tears and the knot of pain that had furrowed his brows. It made my heart ache, I blinked several times to clear my vision because I need to remember this moment with all clarity. This precious moment Hiei gave his body to me.
Slowly, he raised his feet to my shoulders and his hands went up to tightly hold the pillow over his head, he nodded.
I nodded in reply and with my hands firmly around his waist took him with all my pent up need.
His face was uninhibited as it expressed his pain and his pleasure. His willing body sang to the beast within me, I took him hard and fast, without mercy or care, his slight body arched to recieve me, his jaw tightly clenched. When I touched his need I heard a cry try and force it's way through gritted teeth. He came violently, his body twisted the muscles of his neck corded with the effort to keep his mouth shut. But then he tore the pillow he was holding on to and goose down feathers filled the air around us.
"Hiei!" I came while his sheath was still stroking me, I watched his seed vie with the feathers for places on his sweat sheened, flushed and fevered body.
I watched as he slowly opened his eyes to blink at the soft white fall and the most loving, most vulnerable expression came upon him. That look is mine alone, I am the only one who has seen that, he is mine. I took him and he is mine!
I pulled him from the bed and crushed him into my arms. I rocked him and buried my nose in his hair, I refused to let him go even when he whispered he was going to rest, I held him till he was breathing evenly and is once more completely slack in my arms.
I never pulled myself out of him all that time I held him and I am aware of that steady trickle of hot fluid that found it's way down my shaft to stain the white sheets under the blanket. I let him bleed, it will help wash out anything infectious that might get into his wounds. Hn, yeah right, I'm being very selfish.
I didn't want to let him go, I wanted to stay like that, physically connected to him, if Ican't have his thoughts close to me then I'll have his body.
I forced myself to lay him back on his nest of down and pulled myself out of him before the sight of our connected bodies arouse me once more. His body jerked when I did this, his brows furrowed, but he remained unconscious.
I engraved this image in my mind and in my heart, I wanted to stay here and just look at him till the sun set and rose but I can't, I have to treat him.
I raised his hips so I can see his entrance, it wasn't as bad as I imagined but he was still bleeding, I licked him there, closed my eyes and groaned. I shouldn't have done that, the mixed taste of my seed and his blood aroused me. I forced myself to leave him and get a wash cloth, if I hadn't done that, I might end up taking him even if he's unconscious and make him worse.
I pulled the hunters leaf from my hair and began chewing it to get the taste of lust off my tounge and to get rid of the temptation to go back for more. I wrung hot water off the little beige towels I picked and ran back to bed as fast as I could ignoring that blissful after effect of love making he had succumbed to. I have a responsibility, and that is to take care of my little shujin (1).
I smiled, my husband and master lay sprawled out, almost snoring, flushed skin strewn with feathers, he looks so... fulfilled. I looked down at myself and my renewed arousal and sighed heavily, I will have to take care of that later.
I raised his hips once more, cleaned him with the washcloth and licked his entrance with my tounge coated in bitter leaf pulp. I fed him my youki to seal and hasten the healing of his wound, that done I began wiping his body clean.
I shook the feathers out of the washcloth several times while I was wiping him, I didn't bother cleaning him thorougly because he likes my scent on him and we can always have a bath later. I tucked him in between the sheets and was amazed that he slept through all that, he was as slack as a living doll without a command.
A living doll...
Hiei's youkai mask had looked like a shattered Noh mask. It's lower half gone so his slack open mouth could be seen, it had a ward against the evil eye embedded on it's forhead, and 2 black dots for eye brows over his real eyes. The living mask fed on his youki, and is attached to his face by fleshy appendages that pierce the scalp and the perimeter of his eyes. Once the host succumbs to the mask it digs itself under the skin and becomes a part of that host, and depending on the kind of mask given, the doll either becomes an irresistably beautiful, souless sex slave or a fearless absolutely obedient fighter.
Kissaki was it? He wasn't the greatest of the mask weilding youkai but he knew what he had when he found Hiei. Hn, he gave him a Koomote noh, a female mask and not a mempo(2) or any other mask.
That Hiei lasted more than a month was a miracle in itself, the mask slowly erodes the hosts ego until there's nothing left but a pliant living doll, a toy the master of the mask can command to do whatever he wants.
A few minuites ago he was that doll in my arms, his will was there, he gave of himself freely but I could have done whatever I wanted with him and he would not have complained. I could have forced him out of his stupor to service me and he would have done so, Hiei would have continued despite the state he was in.
Now that I'm calm and not in the throes of passion, I feel guilty about hurting him, I wanted to stay and take care of him, I want to be the first thing he sees when he awakens but, I have an appointment.
Hmm, I missed a spot. I took his hiroseki between my lips and sucked on them for a few seconds. Perhaps this is the right time for me to give that little present I had in mind.
I have less than 30 minuites before noon, I kissed his slack smiling lips then I pressed my lips on the blanket over his sex before I tore myself off him and took a shower. I washed myself hurriedly and took care of my need while I was at it, then I pulled fresh clothes on before I sat at Hiei's feet to brush my damp hair. I have roughly less than 10 minuites left and I spend that time watching him sleep while I braided a tiny section of my hair.
I thought of my love for this demon and braided those thoughts into my hair, I brought to fore my intense need to protect him and braided that in too, my desire to have him, my desire for his happiness, I wished him luck and prosperity, wisdom and old age, I want him to be fertile, if he begets children outside of our relationship I would think of them as my own. I seriously doubt he'll have an affair with that kind of possesive loyalty but just in case ne?
We are promiscous by nature but Hiei's kind aren't, perhaps it will hurt me if I find out he was with someone else but, I want his happiness. I'm happy when he's happy and that's whats important, because of that I'm going to be completely faithful to him, I will look at no one but him.
Hmmm and I wish him more adventures, more fun, I thought of all the things I want for him till I reached the end of my braid.
I cut the damp braid off with a quick slash of my nails then broke the old string of leather that bore Hiei's hiroseki. I threaded them into my braid and wove the braid's ends together. It was past noon but I didn't care, I made sure his new necklace was secure and well made.
When I was satisfied with it I bent to kiss him again. He groaned and hooked an arm over my neck. "Hey baby, I have to go downstairs to talk to Gio and Marie, you rest okay? I'll be back as soon as I can." he mumbled something unintelligible, but he let me go and went back to sleep.
I kissed the center of his chest, tucked him in once more and left him there, like a fallen angel surrounded by his lost feathers.
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(1) Goshujin- literally lord and husband. Goshujin means husband to the japanese and when the wives call their hubbys that it has a tone of endearment to it. It generally has no derogatory connotations.
(2) Mempo - Samurai armor face mask