Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Conscience ❯ Selfish Ambition ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Otaku Freak Kiken 
Will he try again?
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.31.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 219 | Status: Completed
Will he try again?
Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.31.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 219 | Status: Completed
Conscience
Chapter five- Selfish Ambition
By Otaku Freak Kiken
You thought it was going to be okay. You thought I was going to give up my strong desire to end my life. To let go of my pride and bow down to ningens and their wanting to see me alive. Heh, you were terribly mistaken. TERRIBLY...
So maybe I had second thoughts about this. You would, too, if you heard them speak that way about YOU. It was a little sad to hear how much they cared. Depressing, actually. It made me think of how much they’d suffer if I WAS gone. I never felt that way before. It was strange. I keep telling myself to forget them, to pursue my plan, yet the thought of my team crying over me keeps nagging at my subconscious. I wish they didn’t care.
Enough of that. I need no pity. I need no help. I only need myself. This life I’m living is nothing to me. Why should anyone care? I mean, I don’t even care about it, so why should anyone else? It’s senseless. Meaningless. Useless. Like I am.
Call me selfish. Call me whatever you like. Even idiotic. Whatever it is, it wouldn’t put a dent in me after all the trials I’ve been through. Your dross of words would have no effect on me.
~~<^>~~
Will you listen to yourself, Hiei? You sound so ignorant! So full of selfishness! Give it up! Start caring! Start listening to your friends! Let their words penetrate your mind! Don’t think it’s too late to start! It’s never too late to care...
People love you, Hiei, and they don’t want to see you go. Can’t you see it in their eyes? Can’t you see the pain they feel? It’s because you don’t want to listen to them! They feel like you’re hopelessly lost, and you don’t even realize how much it hurts them to think so! I’m trying to help you understand, to see what they mean! They don’t want you to ‘bow down’ to them, or give up your pride. They only want you alive. And grateful. Is that too much to ask?
~~<^>~~
I’ve stopped listening to you long ago. What makes you think I’d start now? Heh... your nonsensical babbling is really annoying me. You’re a nothing but a pest, a faint voice lost in the back of my mind. I’ve started to think I’ve gone mad, hearing voices and all, but this whole time, it’s been YOU. You and you ‘consoling’ me with my problems. I don’t need you. Leave me alone. I mean it.
I’m going through with this whether you like it or not. You’re only a voice, so you can’t stop me. What a pity. You can’t do a thing.
Hn...
~~<^>~~
Fine, Hiei... I guess it’s no use in arguing. You’re a mule-headed man, that’s for sure. I thought I could make a difference, after lying dormant for so long. But I see now that it’s too late for second chances. The sword is already poised for your advent of death, and I can tell you’re waiting for me to stop. I hope you’re happy... because that’s all that matters... Once again, I bid thee farewell...I’m sorry, Hiei...
~~<^>~~
Hiei held the katana to his left wrist, hesitating as he stared at the gruesome, blood-caked scar that he uncovered. He sighed, then closed his eyes yet again. “The sooner, the better. I can’t let anyone stop me now. I’ve come this far.” He slowly pulled it against his pale skin, letting a tiny trail of blood trickle from the small cut. He didn’t use a lot of pressure, so it didn’t continue bleeding. It was a surface wound. Nothing compared to what he did earlier.
~~<^>~~
In Yusuke’s and Kuwabara’s room, however, an intriguing card game was at play...
Kuwabara cautiously looked at his cards, then smiled at Yusuke with absolute confidence.
Yusuke questioned his glances, but still had a face of assured victory in this round. “Well?”
Kuwabara looked over his cards once more before saying, “Urameshi... GO FISH!!!” He crossed his arms and gloated in his greatness.
Kurama and Yusuke sighed in pity of his stupidity.
Yusuke drew a card from the deck and matched it up with another one of his own, then placed it down on the table. “Your turn, Kurama...”
Kurama turned to Kuwabara, then opened his mouth to ask a question, but then quickly closed it and froze. His face was full of fear.
Yusuke looked over his cards to see this in time, and he tapped Kurama’s shoulder in question. “What’s wrong?”
“I... I think we need to check on Hiei... I have a bad feeling he’s not asleep anymore... I think he wasn’t even sleeping to begin with...” Kurama put his hand to his cheek in aggravation, then groaned. “Why did I forget his sword in the room? I’m so stupid...”
Yusuke and Kuwabara dropped their cards and gasped. They had forgotten about the whole situation in there, since the card game had them all preoccupied.
“If I get a hold of that punk, I’m gonna beat him till his brains shoot out his nose and he cries for his mommy!” Kuwabara jolted up, clenching his fist and shaking it in the air.
“Huh... that’s not what I saw in the room earlier... all you did was pick him up and yell at the poor guy. Then he got traumatized. Better find a better plan for convincing him.” Yusuke stood up, looking over at Kurama.
Kurama nodded, then put his cards down. He rose and faced them both, then looked at the doorway. “Let’s move.”
~~<^>~~
Hiei started heavily breathing, and his heartbeat raced. He could feel sweat beading on his face, and his palm was slipping on the katana’s hilt. He sighed, then clenched his teeth in a growl. “I can do this... there’s nothing for me to live for! Nothing!”
~~<^>~~
The door flies open, Kurama staring wide-eyed at the sight before him. A feeling of concern whirled inside of him, and he took one step into the room.
Yusuke and Kuwabara looked over his shoulder, and they leaned forward at the scene that took place in front of their eyes. “Oh... whoa...”
~~<^>~~
I hate you foolish mortals... you foolish ningens and your compassion!
Chapter five! Hope you like it... Did you get confused with the transitions in between? I tried to make it understandable. Let me know what you think! Should I wrap it up? Should the next chapter be the last? Please review! (Oh, and the “foolish mortals” was for you, Tess!)
-Otaku Freak Kiken
Chapter five- Selfish Ambition
By Otaku Freak Kiken
You thought it was going to be okay. You thought I was going to give up my strong desire to end my life. To let go of my pride and bow down to ningens and their wanting to see me alive. Heh, you were terribly mistaken. TERRIBLY...
So maybe I had second thoughts about this. You would, too, if you heard them speak that way about YOU. It was a little sad to hear how much they cared. Depressing, actually. It made me think of how much they’d suffer if I WAS gone. I never felt that way before. It was strange. I keep telling myself to forget them, to pursue my plan, yet the thought of my team crying over me keeps nagging at my subconscious. I wish they didn’t care.
Enough of that. I need no pity. I need no help. I only need myself. This life I’m living is nothing to me. Why should anyone care? I mean, I don’t even care about it, so why should anyone else? It’s senseless. Meaningless. Useless. Like I am.
Call me selfish. Call me whatever you like. Even idiotic. Whatever it is, it wouldn’t put a dent in me after all the trials I’ve been through. Your dross of words would have no effect on me.
~~<^>~~
Will you listen to yourself, Hiei? You sound so ignorant! So full of selfishness! Give it up! Start caring! Start listening to your friends! Let their words penetrate your mind! Don’t think it’s too late to start! It’s never too late to care...
People love you, Hiei, and they don’t want to see you go. Can’t you see it in their eyes? Can’t you see the pain they feel? It’s because you don’t want to listen to them! They feel like you’re hopelessly lost, and you don’t even realize how much it hurts them to think so! I’m trying to help you understand, to see what they mean! They don’t want you to ‘bow down’ to them, or give up your pride. They only want you alive. And grateful. Is that too much to ask?
~~<^>~~
I’ve stopped listening to you long ago. What makes you think I’d start now? Heh... your nonsensical babbling is really annoying me. You’re a nothing but a pest, a faint voice lost in the back of my mind. I’ve started to think I’ve gone mad, hearing voices and all, but this whole time, it’s been YOU. You and you ‘consoling’ me with my problems. I don’t need you. Leave me alone. I mean it.
I’m going through with this whether you like it or not. You’re only a voice, so you can’t stop me. What a pity. You can’t do a thing.
Hn...
~~<^>~~
Fine, Hiei... I guess it’s no use in arguing. You’re a mule-headed man, that’s for sure. I thought I could make a difference, after lying dormant for so long. But I see now that it’s too late for second chances. The sword is already poised for your advent of death, and I can tell you’re waiting for me to stop. I hope you’re happy... because that’s all that matters... Once again, I bid thee farewell...I’m sorry, Hiei...
~~<^>~~
Hiei held the katana to his left wrist, hesitating as he stared at the gruesome, blood-caked scar that he uncovered. He sighed, then closed his eyes yet again. “The sooner, the better. I can’t let anyone stop me now. I’ve come this far.” He slowly pulled it against his pale skin, letting a tiny trail of blood trickle from the small cut. He didn’t use a lot of pressure, so it didn’t continue bleeding. It was a surface wound. Nothing compared to what he did earlier.
~~<^>~~
In Yusuke’s and Kuwabara’s room, however, an intriguing card game was at play...
Kuwabara cautiously looked at his cards, then smiled at Yusuke with absolute confidence.
Yusuke questioned his glances, but still had a face of assured victory in this round. “Well?”
Kuwabara looked over his cards once more before saying, “Urameshi... GO FISH!!!” He crossed his arms and gloated in his greatness.
Kurama and Yusuke sighed in pity of his stupidity.
Yusuke drew a card from the deck and matched it up with another one of his own, then placed it down on the table. “Your turn, Kurama...”
Kurama turned to Kuwabara, then opened his mouth to ask a question, but then quickly closed it and froze. His face was full of fear.
Yusuke looked over his cards to see this in time, and he tapped Kurama’s shoulder in question. “What’s wrong?”
“I... I think we need to check on Hiei... I have a bad feeling he’s not asleep anymore... I think he wasn’t even sleeping to begin with...” Kurama put his hand to his cheek in aggravation, then groaned. “Why did I forget his sword in the room? I’m so stupid...”
Yusuke and Kuwabara dropped their cards and gasped. They had forgotten about the whole situation in there, since the card game had them all preoccupied.
“If I get a hold of that punk, I’m gonna beat him till his brains shoot out his nose and he cries for his mommy!” Kuwabara jolted up, clenching his fist and shaking it in the air.
“Huh... that’s not what I saw in the room earlier... all you did was pick him up and yell at the poor guy. Then he got traumatized. Better find a better plan for convincing him.” Yusuke stood up, looking over at Kurama.
Kurama nodded, then put his cards down. He rose and faced them both, then looked at the doorway. “Let’s move.”
~~<^>~~
Hiei started heavily breathing, and his heartbeat raced. He could feel sweat beading on his face, and his palm was slipping on the katana’s hilt. He sighed, then clenched his teeth in a growl. “I can do this... there’s nothing for me to live for! Nothing!”
~~<^>~~
The door flies open, Kurama staring wide-eyed at the sight before him. A feeling of concern whirled inside of him, and he took one step into the room.
Yusuke and Kuwabara looked over his shoulder, and they leaned forward at the scene that took place in front of their eyes. “Oh... whoa...”
~~<^>~~
I hate you foolish mortals... you foolish ningens and your compassion!
Chapter five! Hope you like it... Did you get confused with the transitions in between? I tried to make it understandable. Let me know what you think! Should I wrap it up? Should the next chapter be the last? Please review! (Oh, and the “foolish mortals” was for you, Tess!)
-Otaku Freak Kiken