Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Cut ❯ Chapter 1

Millie: Sad One Shot with Hiei and Sarah.

Hiei: Hn. Sad how?

Millie: >_><_< Why does it matter? You will be reading it soon.

Hiei: Maybe, maybe not.

Black: Oh you will.

Hiei: Hn. And if I say no?

Black: You will say yes or I will cut myself under my dark cloud. >_<

Hiei: O_O Wha-?!

Millie: I own nothing. Enjoy.

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“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? Huh?!” Hiei yelled at his beloved mate, Sarah. The sound of shattering glass could be heard as he threw a new porcelain plate and drinking glass at the wall. The pieces falling in every direction as gravity took its toll. They both sat at the kitchen table for dinner with Sarah sitting across from him, staring down at her fingers which were placed neatly in her lap. He quickly stood up using so much force that the chair slid and slammed against the floor as it fell.

“How fucking stupid do you have to be to make dinner?!” He continued to rant. Fury and rage could be seen in his crimson irises.

“I'm sorry I-“

“Shutup!” He snapped at her, not caring what she had to say. Not even two hours before had they been laughing and kissing as they walked through the door of their new home they purchased together a few months prior. They were a real couple then, that is, before the accident. When Hiei heard of the news that one month ago, he was heart broken. Yukina had been killed in Spirit world as it was raided by demons of the Makai. His only relative he had grown to know and care for at least a little bit was now dead, leaving him alone though he had Sarah to care for him. He loved Sarah more than ever and never raised his voice to her but now the rage at the thought of his sister's death built up so much inside of him that the only way to get it out was to take everything out on her.

“I'm not eating a damn thing until it is cooked properly- No. You know what? I don't want to eat your cooking…you disgrace me sometimes, you know that?” Hiei continued. “Clean up this mess.” He called to her as he stomped out of the room and headed towards the door.

“Wait! Where are you going?” She asked him, running to lean on the door frame that led to the kitchen.

“Out! And don't wait up!” He yelled back at her. Hiei wasn't an adulterer if that is what you all are thinking. No, he was faithful in all aspects of the word. He never looked at another woman the way he looked at Sarah, let alone even looked at another woman to begin with. He just needed to let off some steam before accidentally raised a fist.

Sarah was left in the room, tears welling up in her eyes to later pour down her cheeks and clang to the floor in ruby gems.

“Why?” She whispered to herself. She swiped the salty water from her face and evaded having to clean up the mess by charging up the steps to the second floor of their suburban home. She threw open the door to the bedroom in which the couple shared and rapidly walked straight to her side of the bed, her hand reaching out in front of her to open the drawer of the bed side table. Within she could see the glint of the blade of a dagger that was concealed in between two books. If Hiei were to find it she knew there would be no question as to how she used it. They were both demons that worked for the spirit Prince. Having weapons and sharp objects around the house was nothing new. She stole the dagger from its hiding place and grabbed the crimson stained cloth that lie next to it.

“Please…take the pain away…” She whispered, her eyes tightly closed shut as she placed the sharpened edge to her flesh at the center of her forearm about an inch from her inner elbow. She slowly sliced into her skin as if it were a piece of paper being cut with ease of scissors.

“Mmmm.” She moaned at the sensation, all of her troubles seemingly disappearing as she saw the red liquid bead up around the wound slowly and then rapidly escape into small streams of blood, toppling over to drip onto the cloth. She reveled in the feeling of it all. Once she thought she had let enough of her troubles leave her body, she placed the once pure white fabric over the cut and pressed down hard.

“Mmhm…gah!” Sarah groaned in slight pain as she had to press even harder. Once everything was complete and she thought she could make it through the rest of the night she placed her means of torture back into the drawer where they came.

~I just wish he could see how I truly feel…how horrible he has made me to believe I am…how horrible we are together….~ She thought.

While totally oblivious to what his lover was doing to herself, Hiei walked the streets in search of alcohol, someone to beat up, anything to keep his mind away from his home life. He knew things were getting a little bit worse but he had no idea how far things had been taken.

~Hn. I know I have been harsh on her lately but I can't help it…it's how I am now…~ He thought to himself.

Sarah stepped into the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. She scowled at her own reflection.

“Grr, pitiful!” She yelled, wanting to break the thing she hated most. But was it herself that she hated most? No. It was Hiei now. But did she really hate him as much as she thought she did for how worthless he now made her feel?

“No…I love him…heh.” She answered these questions aloud. “I love him so much I am letting him mess with my psyche.” She added. She still wanted to break the mirror, make it shatter into a thousand pieces like Hiei did so easily to her heart but what would he think when he came home to a cluttered bathroom with a fucked up wall and the mess not cleaned up? He would yell at her, force her to clean it up along with an explanation. An explanation she was not ready to give. Hn. How mad would he be if he found out that she had gotten blood on a wash rag he had used? He would be furious. Would he even care she had been mutilating herself?

“Of course! Stop thinking like that!” Sarah yelled at herself. “He loves me Dammnit!” Her voice cracked, beginning to head out of the room and down the steps to the kitchen. She had to clean things up before he got home, though she knew he wouldn't be home until late that night or hell, probably not even until morning. Grabbing the broom and dustpan from the pantry, she began to sweep things up. Making sure not to hurt her fragile feet, she watched her footing carefully as to not scrape them. The glass was in a neat pile, clanging and making noises as she swiftly wiped the crap up into the dustpan. It fell with a thud as she dropped it into the trash can.

“Hopefully this will make him at least a little bit happier…” She said. Though everything was clean now, there was still a slight dent in the wall. Actually there were a few dents in the wall from previous fits of anger Hiei had inflicted, ramming his fist into the wall as to avoid inflicting pain on her instead. She understood why his mood had changed so drastically but wasn't she enough? Wasn't she enough to make him feel better about everything? Once these thoughts entered her head, she heard the front door slam shut as Hiei walked back into the house.

“Baka!” He called for Sarah throwing his shoes to the wall before stepping any further into the house.

~I guess that's me…ever since the accident he has stopped calling me Koi¹…or even by my name.~ She thought with a sigh.

“Yes baby?” He could hear her from the other room. He followed her voice and saw that she stood next to the trash can in the far corner. He could hear her heart beating faster and faster with every step he made towards her.

“Onna, why are you so scared?” Hiei asked her with a raised brow. She had to admit she was terrified of him now. He went to go sit at the kitchen table and leaned back in his chair. She merely watched him and thought of how to choose her words carefully so as to not anger him further.

“Hn. Are you going to answer me when I speak to you?!” He snapped at her, not meaning to sound so pissed off, but he did anyway and shrugged at it. She must have been used to his mood by now, he thought. She cringed at the sound of his voice, making him wonder and feel a little unsettled.

“W-well, it's just that ever since Yukina died you have been-“

“Sarah! What have I told you!? You do not speak of my sister's death! Do you understand me?!” He spat, acid dripping from every word, his eyes narrowing down at her.

“I know, it's just that ever since you found out, you have been meaner to me…really mean and it hurts me to see you so angry.” She began. “It's been a month…” As she continued to speak a mixture of hatred and sadness began to concoct in his mind.

“You just seem to go about your days as if you are all alone in this world…You know I'm here for you.” She added as she tread lightly to stand directly in front of him. Her hand reached out to caress his cheek. He didn't know how to respond to this so he merely moved his head away from her touch. She sighed at this.

“I guess Yukina's death ruined us.” She stated, not meaning to say it aloud. Hiei fumed with anger at her words.

“Don't you ever say that!” He screamed and pulled his hand back only to slap her in the face. She fell to the floor with a thud, a red, flushed mark forming in the shape of the back of Hiei's hand. Sarah looked back in shock at her lover, her eyes welling with tears. A small stream of blood flowed down her cheek, as she held the side of her face. Hiei realized what he had done and sat wide eyed at her not knowing what to do.

“I'm sorry I-…I'm so sorry.” He told her as he ran to kneel down beside her. “I love you! I didn't mean to!” He continued as he pulled her hand down from her head to see the damage. She merely inched away from him as he neared her.

“No. Get away please!” She told him, the water now escaping the prison in her eyes.

“I said I was sorry, Sarah. Please forgive me!” He pleaded. She shook her head and stood up, running up the steps and slamming the bedroom door behind her. Hiei just sat there with his head in his hands.

“I….hit her…” He whispered to himself, not even believing his own actions. He couldn't believe what he had done. “I love her…a-and I hit her.” He repeated.

Sarah began to cry as if the world were to end, which in her case-in her heart- it had. Her world had been shattered and withered away into nothing. The moment she saw his hand slide back and his eyes narrow down to glare at her, she knew it was all over. She rapidly tore the dagger from the drawer and didn't even bother to grab the cloth along with it. Her blood begged to be spilled, called for release. Her heart and mind raced as she needed to feel the pain to feel the pleasure.

“I could just kill myself.” She thought aloud. “He wouldn't care right?” She asked herself, turning the blade so it now pointed at her chest. She shook her head. She couldn't do it. As much as she wanted things to be over, for her to be at peace, she couldn't escape the fact that her love for Hiei had surpassed her hatred for him. Instead she placed the sharp tip to her wrist, cutting deeply into her flesh. This time, instead of beading, the blood just poured out of her. She closed her eyes and soared above as the liquid continued to flow down her arm and onto her clothes, not caring anymore what Hiei would think.

“Onna! What are you doing!?” While Sarah was doing all of this, she hadn't heard his footsteps as he ascended the stair case, walking into their room. All he could see was Sarah with a bloodied up arm and the dagger that had done the deed in her other hand. He rushed over and knelt before her.

“Don't kill yourself!! Please!!!” He called out; afraid she was going to lose too much blood. He scrambled through the drawer and found the rag that was covered with stains. He just stared at it, wondering how long she had been hurting herself.

“Why?...Why are you doing this!!?? For how long?!” He asked her, his voice cracking as the anger he once felt completely dissipated. Tears flowed freely from his eyes now; the warm, salty water hitting the carpeted floor with a light thump.

“Ever since you…” She began, her voice fading slightly as her body weakened. “Ever since you found out…Yukina…passed away heh…you became…unfeeling…you-you broke my heart Hiei.” She added. She smiled faintly as her head tipped to one side. “The pain was just too much…you acted…like you didn't love me anymore.”

“No! No I love you! I always have…please.” He whispered the last word. She shook her head.

“You…hit me…made me feel…like I was nothing.” She continued. Hiei placed his hands on her knees as he cried into his palms.

“I didn't mean to…” He wept. “Please…please forgive me.” He added. She began to cough as her mouth dried out, her eye lids beginning to droop.

“Hiei…” She breathed, her lips losing color as the life slipped away from her.

“No! Don't leave me!” He pleaded, firmly placing their bed sheets onto her wound.

“I…love…you.” She stated before falling into his arms and drifting off into unconsciousness.

“No! No, no,no,no!” He yelled as he lifted her up. “Sarah?” He asked, pushing her up to stare at her features. “Wake up, stay with me.” He added, grabbing the phone and dialing a number.

“Melissa! Meet me at the hospital, something has happened to Sarah!” He shouted into the receiver. Slamming it back onto the hook he turned to her and lifted her up, carrying her in his arms bride style. Descending the stairs in a hurry, he grabbed the keys off the hook and rushed to his car. The door opened with a loud creak, placing Sarah in the passenger's seat, and closed with a soft thud as he ran around to the other side to get in.

“Stay with me Sarah!” He called as he pulled out of the driveway. Beginning to speed through the streets and running red lights, the red cross symbol could be seen up ahead. The car came to a screeching halt as he parked and rushed his mate into the hospital. She was quickly taken into the ER to be worked on. Machines everywhere could be heard beeping and wheezing as they helped the sick and dying.

“Get this one into surgery! Now!” Hiei could hear not so far away from him as he paced back and forth in front of the door.

“Where is she?” Melissa asked as she finally found him chewing on his nails on front of her room.

“They are trying to get her stable.” He said in an almost emotionless tone. Melissa just nodded in response, taking a deep breath.

“Hiei…what happened?” She asked him, grabbing his wrist softly, making him cease in his nervous march. He looked up at her as if not wanting her to see the sadness that had become so clearly visible in his facial features.

“Come on…tell me what happened.” She asked again, searching for his eye contact.

“She…” He began. He usually wasn't so forward in his emotions with other people but when it came to Sarah at this point, he didn't care how weak he would seem to be.

“She cut herself…I don't know if…she meant to try to kill herself or…if she was just cutting…but she lost too much blood.” He answered her, his voice cracking and on the brink of tears once more. Her eyes widened greatly as she heard this. Sarah? A cutter? She had never heard of such a thing. She had known something wasn't right with the two but she didn't know she had gone so far as to self mutilate.

“Oh Hiei.” She said in a sympathetic tone. What had he done to make her so sad? Melissa loved both Hiei and Sarah just the same but she had known Sarah longer, even before they joined the YYH gang. They all promised to keep each other safe and out of harms way and after all these years of fighting demons and keeping humans and mankind safe, Sarah's fate was to be because she inflicted it upon herself? It didn't seem right. She had always kept close watch on them, making sure neither hurt the others' feelings but soon that seemed to be a ridiculous idea. They were inseparable, always loving on each other, never a real, all out fight. Only love could be seen when around them and not just any love, theirs was undying.

“Mr. Jaganshi?” A doctor revealed herself from behind them as she stepped up to him with a clipboard in hand. He lifted his head to see nothing but a baka ningen and demanded to know what had happened.

“Sarah will be fine. All she needs is a little rest and to stay off her feet for a few days.” She informed them. He let out a breath of relief.

“Hn. Can we see her?” He asked, for once being polite to someone else. The doctor nodded. The door opened slowly as Melissa and Hiei stepped in. Sarah lay on the fresh white bed with only her natural red hair giving color to the rest of the room. He almost didn't want to see her, she looked so pale. He wasn't used to seeing her so sickly and fragile. It pained him as he knew it was him who had indirectly inflicted the blow, basically inserting the knife she had used. Melissa rushed to her side, beginning to fix her hair. Her eyes fluttered open as she could feel her touch. Hiei merely stood at the foot of the bed with one arm bent as he chewed on a nail with the other arm under it, draping across his chest under his elbow.

“Hey Sparks.” Melissa greeted her with a small smile. Sarah merely smiled only not showing her teeth. She was too weak and tired to give anything much effort.

“Hi.” She wheezed. Hiei squeezed his eyes closed at the sound of her voice. She looked down to where he was and narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Hi Hiei.” She said, wanting to cry. Were they so distant now that he didn't even want to help her when she needed it most? Did he care?

“Of course I care.” He answered her thoughts. “I love you, you know that.” He added, stepping over to her and taking a hand into his.

“Are you sure?” She asked, a little bit doubtful. He looked at her in confusion.

“Of course I am sure!” He replied. How could she think he didn't want to be with her? After all they had talked about, after all they had shared? He never let anyone get close to him in fear of getting hurt or hurting the one he cared most about but Sarah changed all of that. He let her into his heart and knew they would be together forever, though now it seemed like forever wasn't long enough for him. Melissa listened as all of this was said.

“We belong together…I didn't mean to do those things I swear!” He admitted, slowly lowering himself to sit in the chair by her side.

“I just want you to come home so we can start things over…so we can be happy again…” He added. Sarah's throat stung as she tried to swallow back tears. She felt she had cried enough for one day. She just wanted things to be the same as they were before.

“I want that too but…I think…we need to separate for a little while…not for too long just…enough to give us time to get things together…” She replied to him, one small tear escaping her eye to slide down her pale cheek.

“What?” He asked, his voice sounding foreign to him as he was about to break from all the suffering his heart was enduring.

“Not for long…we can see each other during the day but…I just think we should…get things sorted out…before we try and get things the way they were.” She answered him. He looked away, still gripping her hands in a tight hold.

“…If-…if that's what you want…” He replied, “Then I will do it…for you.” He finished.

“Melissa…can I stay with you during this whole thing?” She asked her.

“Of course you can Sparks.” Melissa answered her with a faint smile forming once again on her face. Sarah nodded her head and within a few hours she was ready to leave. They said their goodbyes with a passionate kiss and a hug, Hiei watching her as she walked off with Melissa.

“You know where you are staying in here. Yusuke is getting us food so he will be here soon.” She told her as she set her things in her room. Sarah nodded at this.

“Hot chocolate?” She asked her. Sarah nodded with a small smile and walked with her into the kitchen. Silence filled the room as neither spoke of Hiei or anything else for that matter.

“So how long are we going to avoid the subject?” Melissa asked as they say at the open breakfast bar of her apartment, sipping from mugs.

“Avoid what subject?” Sarah asked, dark bags being able to be seen under her eyes from lack of a good night's sleep.

“Sarah, don't play dumb with me. I know something is wrong, Hiei told me why you were in there.” She replied. Sarah placed her mug down on the counter, staring at the rim as she leaned on her arms.

“Of course he told you…” was all she said.

“…For how long?” Melissa asked her.

“…ever since Yukina died.” She answered her.

“A month?!” Her eyes widened. How had she not caught this sooner?

“Because I don't show my scars to anyone Mils. No one deserves to see them…” She answered her once more, listening to her thoughts.

“…Was it Hiei's fault?”

“He hit me…” She blurted out. Melissa's eyes widened as she heard this, her mouth dropping open slightly.

“He what?!” She snapped back. “When?! How many times?!”

“Before I cut myself right before he took me to the hospital…it was only one time. I-…it was my fault. I shouldn't have said what I did.” She replied, speaking faster with every sentence.

“No! No, it wasn't your fault-.”

“Yes it was…I blamed our failed relationship on Yukina…on her death and…he slapped me…” She argued, never looking up at her. Melissa only watched her with sorrow filled eyes.

“Maybe…” She began as she averted her gaze to stare at her fingers as they messed with the handle of the mug on the table. “…you shouldn't see him anymore…” She suggested. Sarah's eyes shot up at her with a look of anger and rage.

“Are you kidding me?! I still love the man Melissa!” She replied. “I could never leave him!” She spat.

“I'm sorry but…it seems to me that he is only hurting you even more by staying with him.” She replied.

“Leaving him would only hurt more.” She whispered to her.

Hiei sat in his living room on the couch with Yusuke sitting in a side chair.

“I'm sorry about you two. You were so perfect together.” Yusuke shrugged as he took a sip of a corona.

“Hn. We are perfect together, detective!” Hiei snapped back.

“Sorry…” Yusuke replied, not wanting to anger him further. The amiko held his head in his hands.

“So what happened for her to leave you anyway?” He asked him.

“She didn't leave me!” He growled in return. Yusuke closed his eyes and nodded lightly in an apologetic way. “I…” He began. “I hit her.” At his answer Yusuke almost spit out his drink.

“You did what?!” He questioned, a brow raised and he was now leaning forward to listen to his hot tempered friend.

“I hit her…” He admitted, his voice cracking a little. “I couldn't stop myself. I just-….” He continued.

“Hiei…” He replied sympathetically. “I think you might need to…go to anger management…do something about this.”

“I don't need some stupid fucking classes to learn to not hit my mate, baka!” Hiei yelled back. His face looked different in the eyes of Yusuke. His eyes were sunken, his skin was paler than usual, the crimson in his irises were dull, not containing the usual vivid, bright, harshness it usually held when looking at anyone other than Sarah. He no longer seemed like a threat to the humans they protected. The emotions he would try so hard to keep hidden were now seen easily like a window peering into a school building.

“I know you don't think you should…but I think it's in the best interest…” He continued to convince him. Yusuke hated seeing something so pure and beautiful be shattered before his eyes. He watched as Sarah and Hiei's love blossomed into a wonderful relationship and now it was dying like a withering flower.

“No! I don't…I don't need it.” Hiei wouldn't admit that fact that Urameshi was right.

“If not anger management then you need some kind of counseling. It doesn't even have to be a real doctor. Melissa would be happy to help. She did minor in Psychology.” He retorted, now a little angry at the fact that he didn't want to do anything about the situation they were now facing.

“…maybe…” was all he said. All he wanted at this point was to push the rewind button, before Yukina died and when he and Sarah were in perfect harmony. The night passed with Yusuke returning to his house with Melissa and their friend, Sarah. The moon shined brightly in the night giving off light to night walkers. A few days passed without a word from Sarah. It was midnight once again and Hiei resigned to his room though he didn't go to sleep. Instead he sat on the window sill to look out at the city outside of where they lived. A picture of Sarah had been placed in his hands, his eyes gazing at it.

“I will change…I promise.” He swore to no one in particular. Sarah was to be his and no one else's for as long as they lived. That was what being a mate was. A pang in his heart interrupted his thoughts as he called out in pain.

“Gaha!!!” He yelled as held head his chest in his hands now hunching over. He winced, grabbing onto the side of the window to try and keep his balance.

“Wh-…GAAAAH!!!...what's…going…on?” He questioned through quick breaths. He felt as if someone had grabbed his heart and was squeezing it as hard as possible, trying to kill him. Vision blurring and mind going haywire, his head began to twitch as he tried to get to his feet. Blood made its way into his mouth, pouring from his lips to drip out of the window. His legs collapsed under him making him fall out of the window to the cold, hard concrete outside.

“Hiei?!??!?!” Melissa shouted as she walked up to the house. She had meant to go there to see how he was holding up with Yusuke but when she got there she found him on the ground with a pool of blood all around him.

“Melissa, call the hospital!” Yusuke demanded as he went to check him out, avoiding the red liquid entirely. He was barely breathing and was losing a lot of blood. Unconscious now though, his mind was still racing. Visions of him and Sarah flashed all around, picnics she had convinced him to go to, birthdays, nights alone in their room together, and the day they first met, all clouding his thoughts. A sudden tear slipped from the side of his eye to run down his cheek. This caught Yusuke by surprise as he continued to make sure nothing had been broken. To his delight nothing was wrong that he could se except for the blood that still seeped out his mouth. The ambulance came in a loud rush, stopping in front of the house. Being put on a stretcher, Melissa and Yusuke watched as they placed him into the vehicle.

“I'll go tell Sarah.” Melissa said in a low, saddened tone. Yusuke nodded.

“I'll get Hiei's things for when he leaves the hospital…if he leaves…” They both dreaded the thought as they could get their minds off of what could happen. Melissa got into the driver's seat and was soon on her way to retrieve Sarah and tell her the news. Yusuke stepped into the foyer, feeling a sense of loss and grief that followed him into every room he entered. Sarah and Hiei were out of the house but their feelings had not gone entirely with them.

Melissa rushed up the steps to her apartment that she and Yusuke shared, wrenching the door open to see that Sarah was cutting herself once more, crying.

“Sarah!” She called. Her head snapped behind her to see her friend standing in the doorway with a scared, hurt look on her face.

“I can't stop Melissa.” She sobbed. “I can't…I can't stop.” A loud clang could be heard as she dropped the knife. Melissa slammed the door and ran over to her, picking up the dagger and throwing it into the sink in the kitchen.

“You can stop! Ok? We can help you!” She tried to convince her. Sarah just shook her head.

“No, I can't…” She replied her voice going in and out as she sounded like she was trying to whisper. Melissa grabbed Sarah's arm gently, swiping the blood off with a damp cloth.

“Listen to me…we can help you…I promise.” She told her, wanting to cry just as much but she knew in order for Sarah to believe it she had to stay strong. “You just…you just need to restore you self-esteem is all. I know...you can do it!” She added, choking back her fears.

“I need to do this…to feel whole…I can't go back.” The realization hit Sarah like a two ton brick. Cutting was a psychological disease that she had possessed and she was letting it ruin everything she had.

“Yes you can!” Melissa shouted, letting her fear of losing her friends let itself out in anger. She wrapped a bandage around her arm and taped it together. “Do you understand me?” She added in a question. She nodded as the tears still flew down her face.

“Sarah…I have to tell you something…about Hiei.” She began her voice shaking slightly.

“What is it?...” Sarah asked in return, letting her nails run over her skin in an attempt. Just so Sarah would focus her attention on what she had to say, Melissa to her hands in hers.

“Hiei is…when we went over to the house to see how he was doing…” She began. “He was on the floor outside of the house…bleeding everywhere…he's in the hospital now.” She told her. Those words knocked the wind out of Sarah, stopping her from breathing for a short while.

“Wh-…what?” Her question was barely audible as she stared off into space, thinking of all of the worse possibilities. Melissa merely nodded, knowing Sarah had understood exactly what she had said and just didn't want to believe it.

“I'm sorr-“

“W-w-well what happened to him?!” Sarah pleaded, needing to know.

“I don't know.” Melissa answered, shaking her head to emphasis.

Yusuke was in their room searching for things to take back to Hiei while he was in the hospital. Spotting a picture and a note on the side table where Hiei usually slept he decided to know what it said. Picking it up, he could tell by the handwriting that Hiei was probably drunk or really tired when he thought of putting pen to paper.

“Sarah. I never meant to hurt you like I did. You know I love you more than anything else in this world. I want you to read this when we get back together and forgive me. I swear never to raise my hand at you again…or my voice…we…we need to stay together…” Yusuke stopped reading when he saw a tear stain next to the words. “I want to have little babies with you…and…and be with you all night long in our bed together …I'm drunk and…I miss you…so much.” The writing was so blurry and messed up that it was unreadable by this point. He shook his head and sighed as he brought up the picture. It was Sarah the night she had gone with Hiei to the ball that they had to go to under cover. She wore a beautiful red dress and her hair was down, curled. Thinking he had wasted enough time he stuffed the picture in his pocket to take along with him. On the other side of the room he saw the closet opened with their clothes neatly hung up inside. He chose a select few of things for Hiei and put them in a duffel bag to take.

“I hope everything works out…” He sighed as he grabbed Hiei's keys to leave as well since Melissa had taken their car back to Sarah. He drove fast and was there within a good amount of time. The automatic doors opened as the sensors caught on to his arrival and he stepped into hospital for the second time that week.

“Could you please tell me where Hiei Jaganshi is being kept?” He asked the woman at the front desk.

“Down the hall that way to the right. Second door to the left.” She answered him. He nodded and went the way she directed him. Just as he was about to open the door a doctor walked out.

“Are you here to see Mr. Jaganshi?” He asked him.

“Yes. Is everything alright?” He answered, not wanting to wait any longer. The doctor sighed and shook his head.

“When we checked him out, a vein on his heart burst. Something we call a broken. He is stable right now but…he will have to stay here for a few days.” He informed him.

Yusuke nodded at this.

“Thank you…Am I allowed to see him?” He asked holding up the duffel bag with his clothes in it.

“Go ahead. Visiting hours are over in three hours. We put him on a sedative so he will be unconscious for the rest of the night.” The doctor added with a sigh. Yusuke nodded once more and entered the room. Hiei laid there in a bed with breathing equipment all around him and an IV in his arm. A breathing pump was connected to his mouth as he slept, his eyes closed and his head drifting slightly to the side. Yusuke set the bag aside and sat at the chair beside the bed, crossing his legs so that his ankle rested on his knee.

“Hey man…Sarah will be here soon with Melissa to see you…She really still does love you, you know?” He spoke to him though he knew Hiei would have no recollection of the talk he was encouraging.

“We all want you to get better…so…hang in there.” Was all he thought to say.

“I'm sorry…we need to get to the hospital, Yusuke is already there with him.” Melissa told Sarah, helping her off the couch.

“Yes...well...I-…I need something really quickly.” She told her beginning to turn away. Melissa nodded as she let hr go into the room they let her use. A small box sat on the dresser in front of a mirror. On the box the words `I will love you forever, Koi' were engraved on the top. She looked at it fondly and then opened it up to find a silver chained necklace with a black tear gem in the middle. She smiled faintly and clipped it on. Her reflection in the mirror with said jewelry on made her feel like she was with the man she loved again. He had given it to her on there third year `anniversary' of being together. He had cried it himself to keep with her, vowing that he would never cry again because he had her to keep him happy.

“Let's go.” Melissa called from the living room as she grabbed her jacket. Sarah snapped back to the present and tucked the necklace under her shirt.

“Coming.” She whispered to herself and walked out to meet her. Only a few moments passed and they were joining Yusuke with Hiei. Sarah walked through the door and saw that Hiei was hooked up to the machine, letting it breath for him. Her throat hitched as she saw how helpless he looked.

“No…” She whispered. “My Koibito.” She choked as she stepped over to him, taking his hand in hers. Yusuke moved from the seat so she could sit down with him.

“Here you go.” He told her. Melissa just stood behind the chair to gaze upon the event taking place. Yusuke went over to her and hugged her from behind.

“Everything will be fine, Sarah.” He told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“What happened?” She breathed. “Why is he hooked up like this?” She added. Yusuke sighed as he tried to get the right words so as to not worry her further.

“A vein burst in his heart…They are calling a broken heart.” He informed her.

“Oh god…” She sighed. “It's all my fault he's like this.” She couldn't get the thought out of her head. He pushed the hair out of his face while he slept.

“All my fault.” She repeated shaking her head and resting it on their joined hands.

“Honey, it's not your fault.” Melissa tried to comfort her but she said nothing in return, only kept blaming herself.

“We are going to let you stay with him. We'll be out in the waiting room. You can stay for as long as you need to.” She added. Sarah just continued to rest with her head on their hands. Yusuke nodded to Melissa and they left the room for the two to be together.

“Hiei.” Sarah began. “I am so sorry. I didn't think this would happen…” She continued, letting her hand traced the smooth skin on his face. “I love you.” She said. He didn't respond and she knew he wouldn't. She wanted so badly for him to be awake, for him to kiss her and say that everything was going to be fine but instead he lie there, comatose.

“I love you.” She whispered once more and slid into the bed over the covers to lay with him, resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't want him to feel alone in a cold place such as this. Her hands wrapped around his neck gently, rubbing the pad of her thumb lightly on his jaw.

“Everything will be fine heh.” She told him, trying to be positive about everything though deep down she had no idea what the outcome would be. A few hours passed uninterrupted but as the night was coming to an end as well as visiting time, a doctor walked in to see Sarah still in the room sitting with Hiei in his bed.

“Excuse me Miss, but visiting hours are over. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.” She insisted, walking over to her. Seconds later Melissa and Yusuke entered the room upon seeing the doctor enter.

“Doctor, may I please have a word with you?” Melissa asked. She nodded and walked over to her as Sarah continued to rest with her mate.

“I'm sorry but she and that man in that bed are close and many things have happened in the past few weeks so…I was hoping you would let her stay with him for the rest of the night.” She pleaded with a half smile on her face.

“Well…it is time for closing but…I guess I could let her stay.” She sighed.

“Thank you.” Melissa's eyes lit up and Sarah smiled as she heard everything. She hadn't gotten any sleep at all ever since she found out Hiei had been taken here. It was too much. Fear coursed through her veins as she thought of what could happen if she fell asleep. He could pass on without her even knowing it. She couldn't let that happen.

“Sparks…we are going home…We'll be back early in the morning with some food for you, ok?” Melissa asked her. She merely nodded in return, not even bothering to open her eyes.

“See you in the morning, Kid.” Yusuke told her, patting her softly on the head before they left. She sighed, feeling Hiei's chest rise and fall beneath her. He was going to be okay. He had to be or else it would have all been for nothing.

The sun rose over the horizon as it was now a new day. Sarah still lay in the bed with Hiei, dark circles under her eyes, still no sleep. Staring at the wall, off into space, she wondered when he would wake up. At that thought she felt him stir.

“Hmm…Onna…your digging you nails into my neck.” He stated in a slow, tired tone. She immediately looked up his face to see that he was awake though his eyes were still closed.

“Hiei?” She questioned, loosening her grip. He nodded, trying to swallow what was in his mouth.

“What…what is this?” He asked referring to the tube that was hooked up to help him breath.

“Oh, sorry.” She said and began to remove the tape from his bottom lip and the corner of his mouth. He licked his lips and opened his eyes.

“Where am I?” He choked out as he scanned the room. Without answering him, she threw them into a tight hug. He lifted his weak arms around her to hug her back even though he was tired and could barely show the affection he had wanted to. He smiled slightly, closing his eyes once again.

“I love you!” Sarah told him with tears streaming down her face and onto his shoulder, happy he was ok.

“I love you too.” He replied, for once in the past two weeks without her feeling whole once again.

“I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think that-…I'm just so happy you're still here.” She told him.

“I know…I know. I didn't want to scare you either.” He replied. “What happened anyway? One minute I'm sitting on the window sill looking at your picture…and the next I'm holding onto my chest in pain…how did I get here?” Question after question filled his mind as he realized he was in the hospital.

“The doctor said that a vein in your heart burst…they call it a broken heart heh…I thought it was my fault.” She answered him, still crying as they continued their sweet embrace.

“Sarah, it's not your fault…It's mine, I started all of this.” He told her, letting her go so he could look into her eyes. “If I hadn't started yelling at you when…when Yukina died then we wouldn't have needed the separation, I wouldn't have hit you…it was my fault.” He admitted, wiping the tears from her face. “Please don't cry. Just please, give me another chance.” He added. She smiled faintly.

“We don't need to be apart anymore…I know we don't. I trust you now.” She told him, lowering her head to give him a soft kiss on the lips.

“Thank you.” Hiei told her after they parted. He smiled slightly and hugged her once more with her head resting on his chest.

“Hiei…”

“Hm?” He asked in return.

“Tell me everything will be ok.” She told him. He was the one that made her feel safe. Any doubt she had about their relationship had soon passed and was replaced with hope for the future.

“Hn. Everything will be ok.” He told her. She smiled and squeezed him gently.

“Hey, morning guys.” Melissa's voice could be heard as she stepped into the room to see the couple still in bed with smiles on their faces.

“Hi Melissa.” Sarah replied.

“The doctor says Hiei can leave tomorrow after a few tests are done.” Yusuke stated with a smile as he saw the two.

“Hn. Good, I hate this place. It's too bright.” Hiei complained with a slight chuckle.

“Don't worry Hiei, I will take you home tomorrow.” Sarah told him with a smirk.

“Koi…are you moving back in?” He asked her. She nodded and he kissed her generously. He called her Koi making her heart jump with gratification. Two days passed and Sarah moved back. Their first night together again was one that would never be forgotten. He made dinner for her and to her surprise…

“Will you marry me?” He asked her as he kneeled down on one knee with a jewelry box opened in one hand. He wore black dress pants with a white, button down shirt and a dress jacket over it. She wore a black, spaghetti strap dress with red roses adorning it. She smiled brightly as she gasped in astonishment.

“Yes…Yes yes! I will marry you.” She answered. He took her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. He stood and flashed her one of his rare smiles and drew her into a tight embrace.

“I love you, Koi.” He told her.

“I love you too.” She replied.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hiei: YOU HAD ME ALMOST DIE?!?!?!

Millie Well…>_><_<

Black AWWWWWWWWWWE!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Millie: She liked it. *shrug*

Hiei: YOU HAD ME CRY?!?! >_<
Millie: >_><_<

Hiei: YOU HAD ME LOVE SARAH?!?!...

Millie: But you do!

Hiei: >_<..I do not…>_><_< Ok FINE! I DO!! SUE ME!!!! GRRRRRRRR

Millie: Hope you enjoyed. ^_^ R&R