Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Destiny of Loneliness ❯ Rememberance of You ( Chapter 6 )

Destiny of Loneliness

KalKally

Chapter 6: Remembrance of You

It was so sick, this whiteness that ruled the surroundings. This was not the pure shade that Hiei always imagined whenever he thought of his sister. This whiteness only reminded him of death.

But then, maybe it was really death that he felt, Hiei thought as he walked along the hall of a human building. People rushed by, carrying on their faces various kinds of expressions. Hiei had never seen so many emotions in one place before, happiness, relief, pain, worry, fear... As he continued his way, he realized that a few smiles and happiness here and there were like some drops of water that couldn't put off the icy flame of pain and sadness.

Hiei hadn't changed at all. His height, his appearance was the same. He was still wearing the black coat and carrying his katana with him. It was so strange. The dark color that had always been a sign of death to his enemy was now almost one of the liveliest things in this white-overwhelming place.

Hiei halted, seeing Yukina standing before a door. He hadn't met Yukina for so long. Many years ago, he had promised himself not to visit Yukina anymore so that he wouldn't bring her pain. Now meeting her again, he still saw sadness in her eyes. Had he been wrong from the start?

Yukina looked up. His heart beat faster. In front of him were still that face, that hair and still those clothes Yukina had worn in the past. But Yukina of the present had changed dramatically from Hiei's Yukina of more than fifty-years ago. The eyes had lost its innocence. Instead, standing there was an experienced, mature woman.

"You are..." Yukina asked hesitantly as Hiei stopped in front of her. Her eyebrows knitted up as she tried to remember something. Then she cried almost happily. "Hiei-san, it's really you."

"Yukina." Hiei nodded. "It has been a long time."

"Yes, it has been a very long time. Hiei-san, you haven't changed at all."

What should he say? Hiei just stood there frozen. He knew everything about Yukina. Being the commander of Mukuro's troops, he had the power to keep a tight watch on Yukina's life, and secretly protect her and her family. But in a face-to-face conversation like this, all the things he knew, all the things he had done couldn't help him to form a single word.

"Hiei-san?"

"Hiei-san?"

"Ah... " He'd better thought of something immediately if he didn't want to look like a fool in front of his sister. "How… how is Kuwabara?" Hiei sad the first thing that came to his mind, only to watch the faint happiness on Yukina's face quickly changed into pain.

"He... he isn't well. For days, he hasn't been able to get out of bed. I'm very worried."

"Yukina, I'm... I'm sorry."

"What for? It's not your fault." Yukina smiled sadly. "I knew this day would have to come eventually, still..."

"Yukina, is Hiei here yet?" A strong voice called Yukina as the door opened and a head popped out. "I sense his youki."

"Yes, he's just arrived here."

"Yusuke, long time no see."Hiei said as he looked at his old friend.

The door was opened fully now, as Yusuke rushed out and hugged Hiei in a tight, friendly embrace. "I've missed you."

Hesitatingly, Hiei hugged his friend back. The tension over Kurama had slowly faded as time passed by. Each time they joined a mission in the youkai world, Yusuke and Kuwabara became friendlier a little bit. It'd taken quite a long time for them to build up the shattered trust. It was true that their friendship had been injured severely, but in the end, time had healed every wound.

Hiei had hoped Kuwabara and Yusuke would open to him a little about Kurama. He waited. He did wait, but they didn't say anything. Each time they met during a mission, it ached in him the urge to ask, but something held him back. Even though he hated to admit it, Hiei knew he was afraid to take the risk of breaking the friendship that had just been healed.

"What are you doing now?" Yusuke asked when he released Hiei. "Still the commander of Mukuro's troops?"

"Hn."

"Typical answer, ne?" Yusuke laughed.

Hiei watched his friend silently, taking in all the changes that had happened since Yusuke had moved fully to Makai. Until now, he still couldn't believe that somebody could change so much in such a short time.

In his forty, carrying the youkai blood, Yusuke managed to keep his boyish appearance. He was still the outgoing, carefree and arrogant bastard Hiei had known since the first day of their friendship, only that his trips to Makai decreased dramatically. After he'd got married, to everyone's surprise, he'd settled on being a good husband, and a good father.

But fate hadn't smiled upon him. Keiko and his children had been killed in a broke-in when he'd been in Makai on one of the few missions he'd accepted. Yusuke hadn't cried even in the funeral, but Hiei knew that his friend had suffered severely with the pain that he couldn't save his family from a simple thief while he was out to save the world from destruction.

A month after the funeral, he'd quit being a Reikai Detective, and moved to Makai, accepting the role of a leader. Since then, they only met in rare occasions when problems occurred in Makai. Only then, Yusuke, as a Makai lord, Kuwabara, as the protector of the Koorime land, and Hiei, as the commander of Mukuro's army had the chance to meet. How surprised Hiei had been at that time. Only a year after his wife's death, Yusuke's appearance had changed from that of a boy to a man's.

"Ah, Hiei, come in." Yusuke gestured the open door, cutting off his track of thought. "We've been waiting for you."

"When did you arrive?" Hiei asked.

"Only about an hour before you. Don't just stand there, you're blocking the way." Yusuke pulled him out of the way of a nurse pushing the wheelchair of an old man. Yusuke turned to his sister. "Would you come in also?"

"No." Yukina smiled. "I'll wait here. Kazuma really wanted to see both of you."

Yusuke nodded and dragged Hiei into the room. At the door, he paused and said quietly. "Thank you, Yukina, thank you for understanding."

***

As usual, Hiei just sat there in silence, listening to the voices of his friends chatting. He wondered why Yusuke could sill talk with Kuwabara like nothing had happened. He looked at his friends, his eyes lingering on Kuwabara.

Even though he had always known this would happen, Hiei still got the shock when he stepped into the room. It was hard to believe that the old gray-haired man with those trembling and wrinkled hands was the strong and passionate fighter Hiei had known. And Hiei hadn't met him for just about ten years or so.

The air was heavy with some uncomfortable sensation. Hiei could feel that Kuwabara didn't have much time left. Even though Kuwabara didn't looked ill at all, his life energy was very weak, almost a tenuous thread that could break any moment. Hiei knew this, and knew that Yusuke and Kuwabara were aware of this too. But here, in front of him, they were still talking almost happily about some meaningless things. Hiei blinked, in a fraction of second, he thought he had seen the two boys of sixty years ago.

It was painful. Hiei looked away from the scene. It did hurt to see Kuwabara in such a state. Regardless of what he thought or said about the man, he had always thought of Kuwabara as a strong person. And even though he knew how their appearances had changed, every time he thought of his friends, appearing in his mind were still the images of them in their youth. It hurt so much, for he knew they were going to lose Kuwabara soon.

"Hiei." Yusuke suddenly turned to him. "You're still the same. Say something."

"What?"

"Anything."

"Ah. .." What should he say when his mind felt blank? Kuwabara and Yusuke were still looking at him, waiting and smiling. His lips parted. Before he could prevent himself, the question that had been pressing his mind had fought its way of out his mouth. "What about Kurama?"

Surprise and confusion showed up on both his friends' face.

"Who is Kurama?" Kuwabara frowned as he tried to recall his memories. On his face was undisguised confusion.

For some reasons, the world stopped spinning.

"What...? What are you saying?" Hiei stammered, confusion too showing on his face. "Kurama is... just... just Kurama."

"Oh..." Yusuke cut in. "Are you talking about the Kurama that was our comrade a very long time ago?"

"Yes... who else?"

"Who... Yusuke, what is he saying?"

"Kuwabara, do you remember the boy that was in our team when we were still Reikai Detectives? The boy with red hair, and could turn into a Youko?"

"Oh... I remember now. Why asking about him all of a sudden, Hiei?"

Why, how could Hiei know? He spluttered, couldn't understand anything that his friends were saying. The gap that had been closed after such a long time between them now was there again, wide, deep and impassable. What were they trying to say?

"But... aren't you searching for him?" Hiei managed to say; the surprise that showed on his friends' faces sickened him. He started to regret asking in the first place.

"I can't believe you still think about it." Yusuke said. "Sixty years have passed, Hiei..."

"But back then, you were all... all..."

"Oh yes, I guess we both didn't think, right? We should have thought about what you said and let it go, but we were all too young and too caught up in the thought of pure friendship. Not to mention that Kurama was important to us all."

"That's right." Kuwabara added. "I even cried a whole night. Can you believe it? Me, crying a whole night. I pissed everyone off, thinking that they all held responsibility in his disappearance. I thought I was right, and everyone else was wrong. Now to think of it, I was really childish."

Hiei wondered why they were still talking. "Oh..." It was all that managed to get out of his mouth. His mind became even blanker than ever. Yusuke and Kuwabara were still talking. Their words seemed so far away, like they were speaking from another dimension.

"You were the only one that could think rationally back then." Kuwabara smiled. "That's what I admire in you most. You can always stay calm in all situations."

But he was not.

"Well, maybe at that time, we all knew what we did was useless, but I guess we were too guilty that we'd failed him to admit it." Yusuke said.

"I..." Hiei stood up. His sudden motion nearly knocked the chair over. "I have to go..."

"But you've just arrived, Hiei." Kuwabara protested

"I really... something... I have to... I..." Hiei faltered, he only knew that he had to get away from here as fast, and as far as possible.

"I guess it can't be helped." Yusuke sighed. "He is really busy, Kuwabara. I heard there was a rebel in Mukuro's land recently."

"Oh, and you have to take care of that, right?"

"No... oh... yes..."

"Hiei!" Yusuke cried out, and laughed. "Spare the poor door. You don't have to burn it. If you're in a hurry, just go. We understand."

"Wha..." Hiei blinked and turned his eyes to his side. On the doorframe where he had grasped, there was a large, ugly burn.

Kuwabara snorted. "I'll have to pay for it, so be more careful next time, little shrimp."

"I-- I will." Hiei turned and nearly ran out of the room, closing the door forcefully behind him.

"He must really be in a hurry."

"I'm glad that he actually did manage the time to visit me."

"Kuwabara, after all, he's your friend, isn't he. He...."

Hiei didn't hear anything after that. Friend? He thought as he ran through the corridors. What are friends? And what am I thinking? All his thoughts were a tangling mess.

"Hiei-san?"

Hiei halted, seeing a piece of blue hair. Yukina was walking towards him.

"Where have you been?" He asked.

"I've called my sons." Yukina replied and brushed away the few remaining tears in her eyes. "I told them... to come here immediately. He might look tough now, but his time is very near, Hiei-san."

"Do you regret?" Hiei asked, the sadness on Yukina's face tearing his heart. "The life of a human is so short, and they age too easily too."

"Regret? Oh Hiei-san, why must I regret? Knowing Kazuma, loving him? No, Hiei, I've never regretted."

"But look at you, Yukina." Hiei raised his hand, wanting to touch her hair, but sighed and lowered his hand. "You still aren't happy."

"No, that's not right." Yukina caught his hand and squeezed it. "I had made my choice. I've gone through sadness, that's the truth, but I've seen happiness as well. And I won't exchange the memories of happiness, and even sadness that I have for anything else in the world. I never regret."

"But after this, what would you do? Return to Makai again? I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't. I'll stay here in Ningenkai. Our love will never die, and I'll continue to live for my children. There's always a part of him in them."

"I... I'm glad to here that." Hiei had to hold back a sigh.

"And you? Are you going back to Makai again?"

"What else?" Hiei replied. He withdrew his hand from Yukina's, intended to say goodbye. But then, he hesitated. "Yukina, what about Kurama?"

"Kurama... Oh, Kurama-san. What about him?"

"Oh... Nothing, just asking." Somehow, his mood sank lower. "Yukina, I have to go now. I don't know when I can see you again. May your path be filled with happiness always." Hiei said, then he turned and walked away.

"Hiei-san!" Yukina's call made him turn back.

"What?"

Yukina looked hesitant, and then she bowed. "Thank you very much."

"What for?"

"For taking care of Kazuma when he was in Makai. Kazuma told me a lot about you."

"Oh..."

A smile appeared on Yukina's lips as if she'd just had some interesting thoughts. "You always care about the others in your own way, I know that. It was the reason why I mistook Hiei-san with my brother a very long time ago. Can you believe it, Hiei-san? There was a time that I thought you were my lost brother, because you were very gentle. I'd believed that for so long, until when you went to Makai, and didn't return to Ningenkai again. Later, I finally came to understand that you've always been gentle with others, in your own way."

Nothing. Hiei felt nothing. Somewhere in the back of his mind, shock swept by, but only like an isolated, out-tune note that was lost in the wildly blowing wind right after being released from the instrument.

"I'm sorry." Yukina bowed again. "I'm sorry for mistaking you with my brother, and thank you for everything."

There was no emotion, neither happiness nor pain. Hiei felt himself smiling. No thoughts appeared in his empty mind, but suddenly, he knew what to say.

"You're welcomed, Yukina. I'm glad I know you and Kuwabara. May you get over this soon, and still be able to keep your hope."

"I will, Hiei. From now on, my children will be my hope. Hope can never die. It only changes from one way to another."

But then, why did Hiei feel that for him, there had never been hope?

***

Outside the building, Hiei saw a flash of clothes on the top of it. His heart clenched, as he immediately knew what this meant. He quickly made his way to the top by walls and windows, not minding of that some humans could see him.

"Botan." He acknowledged the girl who was now staring impassively at the scene of the hospital garden below. "You're here for him?"

"Yes. Hiei, it has been a long time since I last saw you." Botan replied, her voice was still devoid of all emotions, but her shoulders slightly shook.

"No, you can't!"

"Hiei, that's my job. I can't change one's Fate."

"I don't care about Fate. Just leave them alone." Hiei nearly yelled.

"There's no more time." Botan's voice was cold and expressionless. "Or, to be more correct, his time has come."

"Botan!" Hiei's youki rocketed, feeling the answer of another youki. Yusuke, Yusuke had also known. "If you don't, I'll..." He grasped her neck and slammed her again the wall. "Do you want to die here, bitch?"

Both anger and fear flickered in Botan's eyes, but only for a second before returning to emptiness. "Kill me if you wish, but nothing will change. Another ferry girl will just come and take his soul. Or, Hiei, everything will change. You'll just be hunted again, and Kuwabara's soul will have to pay for your action in the deepest of Hell. Is that what you really want, Hiei-san?"

"I..." The hand was slowly taken away from the girl's neck. Hiei's shoulder slumped, and his arm fell limply at his side in defeat. "How can you do this? You Reikai people always speak so hotly of love and the good side of this world. How can you be so heartless?"

"It's not heartless. It's the inevitable."

"He has done so many things for Reikai. He has save this world from destruction. He has even saved Reikai!"

"No one lives forever, Hiei. This is not a fairy tale. This is reality. This is life. In front of death, everyone is equal. Everything else doesn't matter."

"But..." Hiei groaned. He pulled his headband off forcefully and sent his Jagan's power out in all direction. His power was unstable at first, being pushed forward too hard, and too suddenly. After a few seconds, Hiei could focus on the second view, and spotted two rather strong youki. He knew immediately who they were; their ki had the purity of Yukina's, and the strength and passion of Kuwabara's. They were coming nearer, but with their speed, they would only managed to get to the hospital in about a little more than half an hour.

"I'm sorry." Botan whispered and turned away.

"No please!" Hiei cried. Then he did something he never thought he would do in his entire life. He got to his knees and begged. "Just let he live for another hour. I don't ask much, their children are coming here. All his life he has been fighting for justice and the safety of all the three worlds. Aren't all those years of devotion enough to exchange for just this one more hour of life?"

"But Hiei-san...." Botan voice started to crack. "Don't be like this... I can't... I..."

"Botan, just follow your heart." A warm voice said behind him.

Hiei turned and saw Yusuke there. He immediately jumped to his feet, not wanting the other to see his moment of weakness. 

Botan had broken down in small sobs. "You have no idea how much this hurts me too, but I can't do anything else. I have my responsibility..."

"Hiei has a point. Kuwabara has done much for the three worlds. It would be unfair if we denied this one request. " A new voice said. A person appeared beside Botan. It was Koenma in his adult form. He squeezed Botan's shoulder. "Don't worry. You have my permission. And if Reikai still insisted on the implementation of law and gave you punishment, I'd share it with you."

"You come to see him too?" Hiei asked.

"Yes. That hour you gain is precious. Let's not waste time and go."

Hiei just stood there unmoving. "Hiei?" Yusuke called.

"I won't."

"But..."

"I won't." Hiei said more firmly.

Yusuke sighed. "I understand. It must be painful, right? I won't press you. Anyway, thank you." Then he left. Botan and Koenma followed him.

"Wait, Koenma." Hiei ran after the God of Death.

"What?"

"Oh..." Hiei hesitated, then asked, feeling like a fool. "What about Kurama?"

"Kurama? Which Kurama?"

"Just Kurama!"

"Hiei, there're so many souls that went under my care. How can I remember one Kurama among the thousands?"

"Dammit! The Kuramathat worked for you sixty years ago. Youko Kurama!" Hiei nearly screamed in frustration.

"Oh." Koenma's face lightened up a little. "Sorry, just because you ask all of a sudden. How could anyone forget Youko Kurama, the Legendary Thief? I guess his fame wasn't faked after all. When he worked for me, I liked him a lot, and did much searching when he disappeared. But somehow, his soul slipped out of our control. We couldn't find out whether he was alive or dead as his soul wasn't found. Now that I remember, many had asked about him too, wanting for revenge. Don't tell me he did something to you back then too." Koenma chuckled.

"Go."

"What?"

"Didn't you say time was precious? Just go." Before Koenma could answer, Hiei had disappeared in a blur of black and white.

***

Hiei reached Mukuro's castle without any memories of his way back. He wasn't aware of anything. He looked, but didn't see. He heard, but didn't understand anything. Landing in the castle's huge garden, he immediately crashed to his knees. He made a sound of surprise. Why did his legs feel so weak? Why did his body feel so exhausted?

His right hand kept curling and uncurling around something. Hiei blinked and looked down. He was holding his sword. It had already been dripping blood into a small pool on the ground. What had happened? He didn't remember killing anyone. Hell, he didn't even remember taking it out of its sheath.

Using his sword for support, Hiei tried to push himself up, but failed. A frustrated sound escaped his throat, sounding suspiciously like a half sob. The effect of the earlier events finally set in, giving birth to some mixed emotions that he couldn't identify.

What was wrong with him? Why did he feel this way? Everything was perfect. Yukina finally believed that he wasn't her sister. He no longer had to hide himself from her. He no longer had to fear his enemy would use her against him. Everyone had finally understood that whatever had happened to Kurama wasn't their business. They had understood. Then he should be satisfied, shouldn't he?

He should. He really should. The sword was dropped to the ground. Hiei groaned, his fingers clawing and scratching his own arms without really knowing what he was doing. He only knew that he had to get rid of this choking sensation. He was always in control. He always got what he desired. It took him over sixty years, but in the end, everything had happened in the way he had always wanted.

'I don't want this.' He heard some voice far away. 'I don't want this.' It repeated again. He blinked; his dirty and blood-smeared hands crept up to wrap around his throat. The voice was his. What was he saying? This was what he wanted. But for some reasons, meaningless words kept flowing out and the uncomfortable feeling grew stronger and stronger by seconds. The pain on his arms where he hurt himself was throbbing, but nowhere near the aching in his mind.

Hiei snarled and tightened his hands around his own throat. All the thoughts of weakness and pride left his mind, leaving only the desperate need of screaming, of crying, of whatever thing that could help him to release this extreme sensation. He could feel his self-control crack, but worst, it refused to break. All that escaped his mouth were only gasps and some wheezing sounds.

Something built up in his chest. Something was crawling inside. His body shook with the effort to free it. In the end, he threw his head back and howled. His howl was lost in the screams of the raging dragon that had torn itself from his arm. The whirlwind of black fire filled the area with its fury. All the trees burst into flame and the walls of the castle had disintegrated even before the dragon hit them.

So destructive. So powerful. This was the strength that he had used all his life to yield. It was only until this time that he realized the power he had always craved for was also so useless. He was now the second strongest youkai, only after Yusuke. He was feared, and respected. But all these facts couldn't help him to earn past an hour of life for his sister's husband. All these facts didn't help him to ease his pain.

The dragon returned to him. Hiei remained laying on the garden floor. Around him was only destruction. Everything had been burned to the ground. Hiei didn't feel anything. It seemed like every emotion had also been burnt into ashes in the black flame. Pain and confusion. Desire and battle lust. Rage and hatred. At that time, he felt nothing except for the empty hole in the place of his heart.

Hiei didn't know what happened next to the burnt garden. He managed to crawl back to his room, and fell as sleep right on the floor, body exhausted, and mind numb to the core.

***

The dark tunnel didn't seem to have an end. Hiei had walked for hours, but in front him was still mocking darkness. The ground and the walls were all rough and damp. The smell of moss and wet ground filled the air, so strong that it hurt Hiei's sensitive noise.

Hiei was vaguely aware that this was only a dream, but all feelings and thoughts were tumultuous. Now and then, he would find himself step on a small pool of water. The muddy fluid splashed and clung to his trousers. Its icy grasp made his legs feel numb. But he still continued to walk. In front of him was still darkness.

Suddenly he heard chuckles somewhere in front of him. Hiei froze, feeling something familiar in the chuckles. He ran forward, something unknown was pulling him, calling him, attracting him.

It felt like he was pulled out of a tightly closed box and thrown into the light. The endless tunnel suddenly ended. Hiei blinked, his eyes adjusted to the light only after several minutes. He found himself standing in a dense forest. Various types of trees surrounded him, some he had never seen in his life. Hiei turned around, but the tunnel had disappeared. Everywhere were only trees and flowers.

There were those chuckles again. Hiei swirled back, and unexpectedly found himself entangled in a mass of vines. The vines curled around his wrists and squeezed his body. Vines bound all his arms, legs and neck so tightly that he couldn't move an inch.

A person stepped out. Brushing a long curl of silver hair out of his sight haughtily, Youko Kurama looked at him with playfulness in his eyes. "Hiei. You take your guard down too easily."

Hiei couldn't breath, but not because of the vines squeezing his throat. He started to struggle, wanting to get out of the mass of vines by all cost. In front of him was Kurama! Somewhere in his mind, he knew that this was all a dream, and a dream would end at the very moment when he touched Kurama, but he still struggled with the vines, cutting and burning them with his nails and youki.

"Hiei." Youko Kurama laughed. "Why are you so desperate to get out? Fearing that I'll plant some nasty plants on you again?"

The vines were burnt into ashes in the black flame. Hiei nearly threw himself at Kurama and hugged the fox as tightly as he could. His face buried in the clothes of Kurama as he tried to memorize the feeling of warmth and closeness, and the faint smell of roses.

It would all end in only a minute, he knew that, but still, a minute of dream was much more meaningful than empty hours of day life. Hiei tightened his hold, and suddenly found himself return to his large, empty room.

Hiei pushed himself up from the floor. The smell of roses was still lingering in his memories. His whole body was aching and exhausted, but his mind was completely calm. The moment when every emotion was pushed to its limit had ended, like the stone that had dived into the water and returned the surface of the lake to its eternal stillness.

He stepped to the window and drew the curtain open. Outside, night had gone, but darkness had not been conquered completely. The dim light told him that the day had just begun. It was a misty morning. Thick fog covered everything; behind it were some vague shapes of trees. Hiei felt slightly glad that his room looked out to the side of the garden that had not been destroyed by the black fire. He didn't want to see anything that might remind him of those terrible minutes.

A sigh escaped his mouth. Everything changed. It seemed that he was the only one that was still living in the past. Everybody changed. How could people forget that easily? 'You heartless bastard.' That phrase had haunted him for all those years. A heartless bastard like him was still seeing Kurama in dreams every night, and even when being awake. Why did so very little of Kurama remained in the memories of those good old friends?

Everything changed. Were sixty years such a long time?

An icy breeze tapped at his face. Hiei shivered, but still jumped out of the window to the garden below. He wandered aimlessly among the trees without knowing why. Sadness kept coming like waves, drowning his heart, his soul, and even everything else in the depth of its sorrowful ocean. For the first time in his life, Hiei saw very clearly the impassable abyss that separated him with everyone else, even with those few close ones like Yusuke, Kuwabara or Yukina... It disappeared for a while with Kurama as the bridge, but most of the time, it was always there. Only that Hiei either didn't care enough, or was too afraid to realize its existence.

Somebody was approaching him in the mist. It was Mukuro.

"Hiei." The Makai lord smiled at him. "What a surprise that you aren't sleeping now."

"I've just waked up."

"What's wrong, Hiei?" Mukuro got closer to him.

"Nothing."

"And am I supposed to believe that? You killed the whole troop that was sent to greet your return. You destroyed half of the Western garden and castle. That isn't 'nothing'." Mukuro shook her head and said with a voice not quite gentle, but not quite harsh either. "Want to talk?"

"No."

"Talking with somebody will help to take off the burden in your mind."

"What for?" Hiei sat down and leaned his back against a tree.

Mukuro also sat down, leaning against a tree nearby.

"I told you I don't want to talk."

"That doesn't forbid me to stay here, right?"

"Whatever."

They just sat in silence. No one knew exactly how much time had passed. The sky was getting brighter, and the mist was slowly disappearing. In the end, it was Hiei who broke the silence.

"Mukuro, are sixty years a very long period of time?"

Mukuro looked surprised at the sudden question, but then she smiled. "Sixty years? For human, sixty years might be more than half a life. The life of us youkai lasts much longer. For us youkai, it's only a short time."

Hiei's eyes were looking at Mukuro, but not seeing her. They gazed at something that only Hiei could see. "Yes, maybe it's only a short time. Sixty years passed by like a blink."

"Something is pressing on your mind, I can tell that."

"But... such a short time is long enough for changes." Hiei stood up and walked on the fallen wet leaves. There were some rustling sounds. Mukuro had got to her feet also, and walked with him.

"Hiei, there's nothing that won't change."

"Mukuro, have I changed?"

A short silence fell, and then Mukuro replied. "You... until yesterday, you didn't change at all. Now, yes. But what's so important about that? You're still you."

Hiei turned back abruptly, making Mukuro stop. He looked at her for a long moment. Mukuro seemed uncomfortable, but didn't say anything. "You've also changed." Hiei whispered.

"What?"

His hand flew up to brush over a lock of her hair. "I've never realized... Look, your hair has become longer. You also look gentler and happier."

"Hiei..." Mukuro trailed off. It seemed that this new side of Hiei had made her confused and not know how to react. Hiei suddenly turned his back to her and walked away.

"Mukuro, I want to leave."

"What?" Mukuro cried and grabbed his arm. "What are you saying? Why suddenly...?"

"I want to search for Kurama."

"Kurama? Youko Kurama? The one who worked with you in the past? But why?"

"I want to search for him."

"Hiei! Kurama has been missing for sixty years!"

"Sixty-three years and twenty-four days."

"What?"

"I say he has been missing for sixty-three years and twenty-four days."

"This is ridiculous! That Kurama might be dead by now. Hiei, it's time you started thinking rationally."

Hiei jerked his arm back. A vague look of betrayal flickered in his eyes. "See," he whispered, "even you forget about him..."

The next moment, he had gone, leaving a stunned and confused Mukuro behind.

***

Hiei looked around his room in Mukuro's castle for the last time. The room was completely empty. It was as empty as his soul now, but for the first time in so many years, he felt peaceful. He picked up his katana. Sixty years ago, all his possessions were only this sword and this coat. Now, after sixty years, all he had were still just those things.

Everything changed, yet nothing changed.

Leaving Makai without informing both Mukuro and Yusuke, Hiei went to Nigenkai. The first thing he did was visiting the old abandoned yard, but the yard wasn't there anymore. In its place was now a high building crowded with people. On the floor of Kurama's house was now a new one; in its yard were some kids playing and laughing.

Sixty years after Kurama's disappearance, Hiei started searching. Time had cleared away nearly everything about Kurama, both in real life, and in people's minds. He had no clue. He didn't know where to start. But the thought that he might be too late had never appeared in Hiei's mind for once, for he had always known that somewhere in the three worlds, Kurama was still living, and still waiting for him.

To be continued…