Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ Tonzura koite! ( Chapter 16 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Enma’s Torment Theatre
Episode Sixteen: Tonzura koite!*
Story: The Hypocrite Hunter
Story by: Rose Thorne and Yamino Tora
Msted by: Rose-sensei and Chrissy (Who’s brain is still on vacation from the Christmas mst.)

Notes: Thanks, Tora! Again, not my idea to mst HH because I like it. Minna, it’s on ff.net. Go read. *enjoys pimping*

*And we get the hell out! - from the Excel Saga opening, ‘Love, Loyalty.’

~ Still on satellite ~


Hiei sighed as he went around the satellite, dusting. He and Kurama had been able to talk during their shower, and everything was back to normal between them. The talk had been good for both of them, and it had brought them even closer together, now that they understood each other. They had both agreed to improve their communication skills so there would never be a 'next time'. Even though things had been back to normal for over a week, Hiei could see that Kurama was still upset by what had happened, and his guilt was brought to the surface every time he saw the stain on the bed sheets. Hiei was thankful that the laundry was being done, since the stain would, hopefully, disappear, and Kurama would be able to get over it. The one thing they had left to do was have that meeting with the others regarding how to get off the satellite.

Kurama had issued an ultimatum to the others: start cleaning, or cook your own meals. Needless to say, this had been successful. Hiei had refused to clean the loo, and he had no idea how to do laundry, so he had been delegated the task of dusting. Kuwabara was cleaning the loo, and Yuusuke was doing laundry. Koenma had immediately volunteered to help with laundry, but he'd been given the alternate task of helping Kurama clean the kitchen and cook dinner. He had taken to sleeping in Yuusuke's room, and, while they all knew nothing had actually happened, it was fun to tease and pretend that something had. Thankfully, Rando had given them a decent amount of food, as well as a nice selection, for the Meteorite Warning System test, but the kitchen was a mess and needed to be cleaned. Hiei had originally wanted to help Kurama with that, but Yuusuke had pointed out that they would probably just distract each other, and that had been the end of it.

Hiei was wondering if he should dust the rooms that Yuusuke and Koenma had opened when Yuusuke came out of the laundry room. "Hiei, c'mere fore a second." The fire demon blinked at him and followed him into the laundry room. Yuusuke held up a sheet--a very familiar sheet. "What's this? It looks like blood."

Hiei shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

Yuusuke gave him a Look. "I can't help but worry about it, since I got this from the observatory."

Hiei returned the glare. "And it's none of your business."

"Fine," the teen muttered. "I'll just ask Kurama." He headed for the door, and Hiei blocked his path.

"You will *not* ask Kurama." There was a short glaring contest, and Hiei was the one who ended up conceding. "He feels guilty enough about it. Don't."

Yuusuke frowned. "Hiei, what happened?"

The fire demon closed the door. He didn't want anyone to overhear. "Remember how upset Kurama was after the last MST?" Yuusuke nodded. "Well... he lost control."

"What?" Yuusuke looked confused. "How did he lose control?"

Hiei sighed. "He didn't prepare me."

Yuusuke blushed deeply. "Oh."

Hiei smirked, but there was sorrow behind it. "That's what happens if you go in un-lubricated, even if you're not a virgin. It's not fun."

"Does..." Yuusuke swallowed hard, clearly a bit uncomfortable with asking, but curious nonetheless. "Does it still hurt?"

Hiei blinked at him, surprised for a second, then looked away. "I'm still sore, but Kurama doesn't know that. I'm not telling him, and neither are you. He feels really guilty about it. Just wash the sheet so he doesn't see that anymore."

Yuusuke winced. "I'll have to wash it separately, and with bleach. Blood usually comes out no problem, but I figured to make sure..."

"Thanks, Yuusuke. Just don't tell anyone about this."

"Why would I tell anyone?" The teen frowned. "It's not their business, and it shouldn't have been mine."

Hiei shrugged. "You were doing laundry. I would have done it, but I don't know how to. And I didn't want Kurama doing it..."

Yuusuke grinned at him. "Well, how about I show you how? Then you can do the laundry next time we clean."

Hiei scowled. "Hopefully, we won't be here that long."

Yuusuke shrugged. "If we're not, you can always help Kurama with the laundry back home."

That made Hiei smile a bit. "Yeah... I could." Hiei nodded. "Fine. Show me."

*

They all met back in the kitchen when they had finally finished, exhausted and looking forward to the meal that had been prepared. It was just sandwiches and macaroni and cheese, since the kitchen had needed a lot of cleaning. The five of them had just sat down when a familiar beeping noise came from the control room.

Kuwabara was the one who finally got up to press the button, while Kurama had everyone grab the food to take into the theatre while he filled up a pitcher with water.

Rando smirked at them when they assembled in the control room. "Did you enjoy cleaning?"

Yuusuke smirked back. "Actually, it was rather nice to ensure that there weren't any more Randy-germs left."

Rando glared. "Into the theatre!"

Yuusuke gave him a rude salute and flipped off the screen as they all trudged into the theatre. At least they could bring their meal in with them.

-- In the theatre --

Yuusuke: You know, I kind of miss the concession stand we had back in the Reikai.
Hiei: Kurama's cooking is better, though.
Koenma: Mine, too! I helped!
Kurama: Yes, and you actually did a good job of it.
Kuwa: For someone who has servants do his cooking?
Kurama: Yes.
Koenma: [pouts]

>Disclaimer: Neither of the authors own or make any claim whatsoever upon Yu Yu Hakusho and the events and characters of the aforementioned series.

Yuusuke: Authors? As in, more than one?
Kurama: We've never had *that* before...
Hiei: First time for everything.
Koenma: [has his arm around Yuusuke] In any case, I wish we could get rid
of these armrests. They're just in the way...
Yuusuke: No prob. [leaves Koenma's embrace for a moment to stand and jerk said armrest out from between their seats] How's that?
Koenma: [grins] Perfect. [pulls Yuusuke close]
Hiei: Starting those cute moments early this time around?
Koenma: [blushes]
Kuwa: They ever end?
Yuusuke: [snickers]

>We also do not make any claims upon the games mentioned in this piece. This is a non-profit endeavor and is in no way, shape, or form associated with or endorsed by the copyright holders.

Yuusuke: And this recording will self-destruct in five seconds...
Hiei: Huh?
Yuusuke: [sheepish] Sorry, bad joke.
Kurama: I don't think he knows where it's from. I can't recall, either...
Yuusuke: Inspector Gadget. But that was making fun of it, actually...
Koenma: Going to add it to your "list"?
Hiei: Ah, the list. My arch nemesis.
Yuusuke: Hey! You liked a lot of that stuff. Not counting Gundam Wing, of course...
Hiei: [nose twitch]
Yuusuke: I still don't think it was *that* bad. You acted like watching it was murder...
Hiei: It was like reading these things. I felt my intelligence slowly dripping away.
Yuusuke: [huffs] I still say it wasn't that bad!
Kurama: [smirks] Yuusuke likes it mostly for the Heero/Duo and Quatre/Trowa, I'm betting.
Yuusuke: [mumbles] Well, I didn't watch it for the fighting. If I wanted to watch a good mecha fight I'd watch Eva.
Hiei: Now, *that*...
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Kuwa: Yuusuke's corrupted him.
Yuusuke: He got all his sex material from Kurama, though.
Kurama: Oh, he had plenty of his own ideas...
Hiei: [smirks]

>Warning: This deals with abortion issues.

Yuusuke: ... Now *that's* a first.
Hiei: [shrugs] If I don't know what it is, it can't be very important.
Kuwa: That's what you said about yaoi.
Hiei: Hn.
Kurama: I'm sure the fic will explain it.
Yuusuke: "Shameless plug requirements met. Onward!"
Kurama: And I told you to stop stealing stuff from Chris Rain.
Yuusuke: [raspberry]
Koenma: [kisses the back of Yuusuke's neck] Let him steal. He's cute when he quotes that.
Yuusuke: [blushes, smiling mischievously] I am?
Koenma: [nods]
Yuusuke: Cool. [kisses his cheek]

>The Hypocrite Hunter

Koenma: A bounty hunter type of hunter?
Yuusuke: Crocodile Hunter?
Kurama: He feeds baby hypocrites to crocodiles.
Hiei: At least they're being disposed of, though I can't believe hypocrites are allowed to breed.
Kurama: Breed and voted into office.
Koenma: Do you have *any* idea how much more work that man has caused for the Reikai? Dad is *not* happy.
Yuusuke: [nuzzles him] Poor K-chan...
Koenma: And think how much work I'll have to catch up on when I get *back*!
Yuusuke: [quietly] You'll be AWOL for a while, won't you? [leans against his chest]
Koenma: [nods morosely] Most likely. No way to avoid it.
Yuusuke: [very softly] Oh...
Koenma: [holds him tighter, kisses his forehead]

>Co-written by Rose Thorne and Yamino Tora

Kuwa: Again?
Kurama: Oh. I see the pattern now. We read a Rose Thorne fic every other mst.
Hiei: Actually, I think we missed one and had two of hers in a row once...
Kurama: [thinks] Yeah. You're right.
Yuusuke: You keep track of these things?
Kurama: [shrugs] I just remember for some reason.
Hiei: There's only been fifteen of these things. It doesn't take a genius. Though, I should probably remember who I'm talking to...
Yuusuke: [raspberry]

>Dedicated to Ali
>Chapter Four

Koenma: Before you say anything, Kurama, I'd just like to remind you that this is a fan fic and the previous chapters don't matter.
Kurama: [sighs] I know, I know...
Yuusuke: [pouts] No stars...
Hiei: Aw, poor baby.
Koenma: So sing anyway.
Yuusuke: [smirks, sings] Sore wa ai ja nai/ Ai wa sore ja nai...
Koenma: [giggles and kisses him]
Yuusuke: [softly] But this *is* love...
Koenma: [looks at him seriously] Yes, it is.
Yuusuke: [smiles wider]

>Yuusuke fidgeted in the hallway, waiting impatiently. "Keiko? Is it done yet?"
>"No, Yuusuke! Be patient!"

Kuwa: Isn't that an oxymoron?
Yuusuke: Hey!
Hiei: Is what done?
Yuusuke: I hope she's not trying to cook.
Koenma: She's not a good cook?
Yuusuke: She can't cook anything but ramen.
Koenma: Ah.
Hiei: Speaking of food, where are those sandwiches?
Kurama: Oh, the tuna! Nearly forgot. Thanks, Dragon. [pulls out the sandwiches he had brought and passes them out]
Hiei: Mmm... Tuna...
Kurama: [giggles]
Kuwa: Wasn't there macaroni and cheese, too?
Kurama: Well, I figured you could eat the sandwich now and the macaroni when you're finished. Unless you really want a stomach ache, trying to eat all that at once.
Yuusuke: [mouth full] Never stopped Lina Inverse.
Hiei: [shrugs] Too bad that's not up here.
Yuusuke: [whines]
Koenma: [glares at Hiei] Quit it!
Hiei: Make me.
Kurama: Hiei.
Kuwa: Hiei, stop being an ass. Urameshi didn't do anything to you.
Hiei: And, pray tell, how am I hurting him?
Kurama: [sighs loudly] We're going to be here all day...
Koenma: You're reminding him that we're stuck up here. Quit being a jerk.
Hiei: If he needs to be reminded that we're *here*, I'm seriously going to start worrying about him.
Kurama: Stop it! All of you.
Hiei: All right! I'll stop!
Kurama: [sighs] I didn't mean to snap at you...
Hiei: I know. [sighs] We're all snapping on each other.
Yuusuke: It's okay. Let's just read the fic and get outta here.

>He winced slightly at her tone. They were both worried about this, her more than him. The ningen paced the hallway, thinking.

Hiei: And the clone's brain exploded from the stress. The end.
Yuusuke: Oh, fuck no...
Kuwa: Did he...?
Koenma: [confused] What?
Kurama: [eyes widen] Oh dear...
Hiei: [blinks] I don't get it.
Kurama: You'll see.

>Damn it . . . this wasn't supposed to happen . . . He paced the hall again, biting his lip nervously. What exactly would count as good news here . . .?

Yuusuke: That the fic exploded, meeting its demise.
Kuwa: Geez, Yuusuke-clone. I'd *hope* You'd know what counts as good news there...
Yuusuke: Clone troopers are all stupid. In manufacturing, Lucas sacrificed quality for quantity.
Hiei: And there we see what would have been the leading factor in Star Wars' demise, were it not for Jar Jar Binks...
Kurama: [softly] Knew it wouldn't take us long to start Lucas-bashing.
Yuusuke: It's our favorite pastime.
Kurama: Indeed.
Koenma: It's so *easy*, too...
Yuusuke: Yeah, the man really sets himself up to be mocked.
Kuwa: By the entire world.
Giaki's voice: Not just the Ningenkai!
Yuusuke: [chortles] No way!
Giaki: You know, Jar Jar wasn't really computer graphics?
Rando's voice: Shut up, twit! No talking on the speakers.
Yuusuke: You shut up, Randy. Just because he has more interesting things to say than you do. Finish the story, Giaki.
[silence]
Yuusuke: Well, hell...
Koenma: [pats] But if Jar Jar wasn't really a CG... What was he?
Hiei: [rolls eyes] Probably a youkai.
Yuusuke: [jaw hangs open]
Hiei: Well, what else could it be? A deformed human?
Yuusuke: Dude... This is every Star Wars fanatics wet dream come to life.
Koenma: What?
Yuusuke: We could kill Jar Jar.
Hiei: And that's worth the time? Chances are, if Giaki knows about the movies, plenty of other youkai are after him.
Yuusuke: Damn it... [finishes his sandwich]
Koenma: Good stress relief.
Yuusuke: Yeah.

>He started as the bathroom door opened and Keiko emerged. "Well . . .?" The girl was pale, and Yuusuke flinched and followed her silently to her room. "K-Keiko . . .?"

Yuusuke: Oh crap...
Koenma: Oh, I get it... Yikes...
Yuusuke: Tell me about it.
Hiei: I still don't get it. Is she sick or something?
Kurama: She's pregnant.
Hiei: [eyes widen] Fuck...
Kurama: [nods] Yes, for most straight couples that's usually how it happens.
Hiei: [rolls eyes] You know what I meant. [pulls the armrest out and leans against Kurama]
Rando's voice: Stop destroying the theatre!
Hiei: It's only a couple of armrests. Deal. [snuggles against his fox, getting comfortable]
Kurama: [smiles and kisses his forehead]
Yuusuke: Yup. You still have your own cute moments.
Kurama: And we will for a *long* time.
Hiei: 'Course we will. [smirks]

>The girl closed the door behind them, then looked at Yuusuke. "Yuusuke . . . It was positive . . ." The boy's eyes widened impossibly, and he gaped, the words not quite registering, even though he'd almost been expecting them. "Yuusuke . . . I'm pregnant . . ."

Yuusuke: If I was expecting her to say that, why am I surprised?
Hiei: [snickers]
Kuwa: The clone's an idiot.
Koenma: [tries not to smile] He was thinking with the small head and not the big head.
Hiei: Clones are sterile. He was surprised that he managed to produce active sperm.
Kurama: Or it wasn't him at all. It was "the Will of the Force."
Yuusuke: Great. *Another* Chosen One.
Kuwa: Like it's the Will of the Force for Anakin to be a kid that people like, then turn into a teenager that girls drool over, then turn evil.
Kurama: Fanfic writers' dream.
Hiei: Wet dream, you mean.
Yuusuke: And Hayden Christensen sucked. *Orlando Bloom* could have done a better job.
Kuwa: Ouch...
Hiei: Captain Obvious? [thinks] Yeah. I can see that.
Koenma: I have a hard time believing that. Orli couldn't act his way out of a hat.
Kurama: Christensen is worse.
Koenma: True... It's kinda pitiful, really. Lucas ran out of his own ideas so he decided to steal some from the Bible.
Yuusuke: [giggles] That's not even very original, because Tolkien did it first!
Koenma: True.

>Yuusuke sat down on the bed, filled with a disturbing mixture of fear, disbelief, joy, and uncertainty. "You're pregnant . . ." he repeated softly. "Keiko . . . i-is that a good thing?"

Yuusuke: Probably not, but we need someone to turn to the Dark Side and destroy the universe as we know it.
Hiei: It's baby Anakin. Kill it before the fangirls get to it.
Yuusuke: So *that's* what turned him. Fear.
Kurama: We talked about this.
Yuusuke: Well, not the fangirl part.
Hiei: Think about it. It'd be more humane to kill it now!
Yuusuke: Not to mention Star Wars can use a little more gore. [sniffs] Just think. Back in the day, Jedi could cut off people's arms. And there was blood.
Kurama: Actually, Yuusuke, the lightsaber would cauterize the wound. No blood.
Yuusuke: Then Lucas wasn't making any sense back then either, because there *was* blood on that arm. Not a lot, but some.
Kurama: Well, there might have been a little bit, but the wound would have been cauterized, so there wouldn't have been much, if any.
Kuwa: Erm... Can we cut down on that kind of stuff? I *did* just eat, and I want to keep it down...
Koenma: I read some where that this person was upset about Qui-Gon being able to melt down the door with his lightsaber. Seemed to believe that they didn't generate heat or something.
Hiei: [shrugs] There are so many plot-holes in Star Wars that stuff like that isn't worth thinking about.
Yuusuke: And we could be here all day criticizing the stuff Qui-Gon did. Let's move on.
Kurama: You know he gave Obi-Wan a rock for his thirteenth birthday?
Hiei: [blinks] Huh?
Kurama: Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan a rock. Then when Obi-Wan noticed it was force-sensitive he lied about knowing about it.
Hiei: When was this?
Kurama: Jedi Apprentice book three.
Hiei: Oh. That would be why.
Yuusuke: Twelve years of being Quiggie's personal servant and all Ben got out of it was a rock?
Kurama: That's exactly what I said.
Hiei: What kind of rock?
Kurama: [smirks] Perv.
Yuusuke: If it was *that* kind of rock, Obi would be far less cranky in Phantom Menace.
Koenma: [snickers]
Hiei: That could be *why* he was cranky, though. Not any good in bed?
Yuusuke: [snickers] Or Qui-Gon was withholding. He started getting really bitchy after Naboo.
Kuwa: Maybe he was just pissed that Anakin was a little kid and he was getting some.
Yuusuke: [stares] Ew. Anakin slash.
Kurama: Ew. Shota-con.
Kuwa: Slash? Since when? I was talking about Amidala.
Yuusuke: Oh.
Hiei: Ew. Het.

>Keiko sank onto the bed next to Yuusuke, her lower lip trembling slightly. "We can't afford a baby, Yuusuke. I don't know what we're going to do . . ."

Kurama: Let me guess. This is where the abortion part comes into play?
Yuusuke: [groans] Oh, man... How could you have done that, Yuusuke-clone?
Koenma: Gotten her pregnant?
Yuusuke: No, had *sex* with her...
Kurama: Do you *really* need me to explain the birds and the bees?
Yuusuke: Erm. No.
Kurama: Good. For a second there I was worried about that.
Yuusuke: [huffs]
Koenma: [kisses his ear] Of course, birds and birds don't have to worry about that sort of thing...
Yuusuke: [blushes] Except for Hiei and Kurama...
Hiei: [smirks] And that's only if I want it to happen. That's the great thing about being a youkai. More control.
Kurama: [kisses his cheek]

>"It's not your fault, Keiko . . ." Yuusuke rubbed the bridge of his nose, wincing at the beginnings of a headache. "We used a condom . . ."

Kurama: Yes, well, they can break. It happens.
Yuusuke: [groans again] The fact that they had sex in the first place. Morons... She should have been on birth control, too.
Kurama: Now, those always work.
Yuusuke: Which is why, if they had to have sex, they should have used it!
Koenma: [pets his hair] It's just a fic, Yuu-chan...
Hiei: I don't see why you're freaking out.
Yuusuke: And if you read a fic that had you having sex with Yukina and knocking her up? This is like that to me.
Hiei: [eye twitch] ... I see your point.
Yuusuke: Good.
Koenma: [continues petting his hair]
Yuusuke: Lower.
Koenma: [goes a bit lower, whispers in a soft voice] *How* low?
Yuusuke: [blushes, snickers] Not as low as you're thinking. The back of my neck hurts.
Koenma: [blinks and begins massaging] From what?
Yuusuke: Dunno. Oooh, that feels great...
Koenma: [smiles]

>He flinched as tears spilled down Keiko's cheeks. "I know, but what can we do . . .? We don't have the money to raise a child, and we're just out of high school . . ."

Yuusuke: It would've cost a lot less if they'd gotten the pill, but *no*... K-chan, a little to the right.
Koenma: [blushes a bit and keeps massaging, following Yuusuke's directions]
Yuusuke: That's it...
Hiei: [muffles laughter against Kurama's chest]
Koenma: [blushes deeper]
Kurama: Yuusuke, I do believe you're turning him on.
Yuusuke: Cool. Shoulders, K-chan.
Koenma: [turns very red, but continues massaging]
Hiei: [still laughing]

>We could get married, and I-I could quit school and get a full-time job somewhere, and we can talk to our parents and maybe stay with either my family or yours until we get on our feet . . ."

Kuwa: Wait. Didn't it just say that they were out of high school?
Kurama: Maybe he went on to college.
Kuwa: *Yuusuke*?
Hiei: He has a point...
Yuusuke: [not paying attention] What?
Kurama: [quickly] Nothing.
Yuusuke: Okay…

>He winced. His mom would have no pity and would be more likely to kick him out than anything else, and Keiko's parents would be really upset. What're we going to do . . . I don't want to ask her to . . . but . . .

Hiei: Ask her to... what exactly?
Kuwa: He's not going to... Is he?
Kurama: It's very likely that he will. It was mentioned earlier.
Yuusuke: This isn't fair...
Koenma: [still massaging] Life isn't fair.
Yuusuke: [smiles slightly] Actually, my life is being a bit fairer than usual right now...
Koenma: [smiles bashfully and kisses his neck]
Hiei: But what's it talking about?
Kurama: He's thinking about asking her to get an abortion.
Hiei: Oh.
Kurama: Don't worry. It'll explain what that is.
Yuusuke: Or we will.
Hiei: Great.

>Keiko sniffled. "Or . . ." She looked at Yuusuke. "I could get an abortion."
>Yuusuke's eyes widened. It was what he hadn't wanted to suggest. "Are . . . are you sure?"

Kuwa: Bingo.
Yuusuke: Well obviously if she suggested it she's pretty sure about it. A little lower and to the right, K-chan...
Koenma: [continues massaging] But he didn't ask her.
Yuusuke: He was going to, he just hadn't wanted to. Yeah, that's the spot...
Koenma: [blushes]
Hiei: I'm just going to sit here, confused, evidently.
Kurama: [kisses his forehead] You didn't sound too enthused on learning about it.
Hiei: [shrugs] Not like it matters all that much. It's just a fic.
Kurama: Not to us, but it does happen in the Ningenkai quite frequently.
Yuusuke: Well, think about it. What happens if you abort something?
Hiei: [frowns] You terminate it.
Yuusuke: And since we're talking about a pregnancy...?
Hiei: Oh... [leans against Kurama]
Kurama: [cuddles him, worriedly biting his lip]
Hiei: It's okay, Imp. I'm okay. That's just... disturbing.
Kurama: [nods silently]
Yuusuke: [sighs] Sorry, Hiei, Kurama. Better to find out now than later...
Kurama: I'm not mad. Don't apologize.
Yuusuke: I know... But he's upset.
Hiei: I'm fine. Don't worry about it.
Kurama: [softly in his ear] When you want to talk, I'm here.
Hiei: [kisses him] I know. Later.
Kurama: [nods] For sure.

>"My parents would be so disappointed in me if they knew . . . They want me to go to school and get a proper education so I can make something of myself. If . . . if I have a baby and we marry now, I'll be doing what they did, and I know they want more for me. I don't want them to be disappointed in me. And . . . your mom . . . I like her, but she probably wouldn't help us."

Yuusuke: Probably? That's a bit optimistic.
Koenma: [hugs him close]
Hiei: And those are kind of selfish reasons...
Kuwa: Yeah, actually...
Kurama: [pulls Hiei into his lap, holding him close]
Hiei: [smiles slightly] Imp, I said I was fine.
Kurama: I know.
Yuusuke: Like he needs a reason to cuddle.
Koenma: [softly] Besides, they have to do that once every mst...
Yuusuke: Quotas?
Koenma: Yup.
Yuusuke: Oh, left.
Koenma: [blushes again and complies]

>She paused. "Plus, you have ties in the Makai, and you have to go there a lot to take care of things. I don't blame you," she added as Yuusuke opened his mouth. "I know it's important. But it'd be really hard for you to hold down a real job and still be gone a lot. I don't know how you manage just with school now . . ."

Yuusuke: Okay, just because I'm a Reikai Tantei doesn't mean I never want children. And secondly, I consider being a Tantei a real job. [grins at Koenma] Just don't get paid, you know...
Koenma: [flushes, ashamed] That wasn't an option... Sorry...
Yuusuke: [kisses him] Let's make a deal. You give me a massage like this after every mission from now on and I'll consider that pay.
Koenma: [turns bright red and nods]
Yuusuke: [grins]
Hiei: [snorts] I'm sure he'll be willing to give you a full-body massage.
[they both turn red at this]
Hiei: Yup. I was right. And Yuusuke looks more than willing to accept *that*.
Yuusuke: [blushes further] I miss being able to tease him...
Hiei: I'm enjoying being able to tease you. I'd say that's fair, since you won't be bothered by it soon.
Yuusuke: [ears turn red now]
Hiei: And I'm right again. Big surprise.

>A tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away. "As much as I don't want to go with an abortion, it's what's best until things are more settled in our lives."

Yuusuke: Prolly' best, but she still should've taken the pill...
Hiei: Best? Best would be not being selfish.
Yuusuke: Well... Yeah, okay, I can see that.
Kurama: [hugs Hiei] It's just a fic.
Hiei: You said it happens all the time in the Ningenkai.
Kurama: [frowns] Yes, it does.
Hiei: [shakes his head] Don't worry about it. [cuddles Kurama] Let's just get this stupid thing over with.
Kurama: [holds him tighter] Okay.

>The tightening in Yuusuke's chest faded with the last sentence. It wasn't that Keiko didn't want to accept him and marry him. It was that things were way too chaotic for a child. The way things were going at the moment, the child would end up being hurt in the long run, and that definitely wasn't what either of them wanted to do to a child.

Yuusuke: Marry?! When was marriage mentioned?
Hiei: Way up there. When you-clone was discussing what they could do.
Yuusuke: Oh. Must've forgotten...
Koenma: [stops massaging and hugs Yuusuke, kissing him]
Yuusuke: [moans, kissing back]
Hiei: [snickers]

>"Okay. I'll do some research and get the money together, and we'll take care of it." He hugged her. "Keiko, don't think I was proposing just because . . ." He sighed. "You know I'm not good with words, and I'm not all that intelligent, but I love you and I would love to be married to you."

Hiei: [laughs] Oh, yeah. He'd just *love* it.
Yuusuke: [breaks the kiss and glares at the screen] I would not. Unless you're saying that you and Yukina getting married sounds peachy.
Kuwa: Ugh.
Hiei: I was being *sarcastic*, especially since you were previously in a flaming lip-lock with "K-chan".
Koenma: [slightly dazed, smirks] Jealous or something?
Hiei: [stares] You must be joking.
Yuusuke: [grins] Well, you *were* trying to get us to stop kissing.
Hiei: [raises an eyebrow]
Koenma: Why else would you say something like that?
Hiei: I like sarcasm?
Kurama: Drop it.
Hiei: Yeah. Go back to snogging.
Yuusuke: [grins] Well, as long as we have your permission, Dad -
Hiei: [glares]
Kurama: I said drop it.
Kuwa: I thought you said he was Mom?
Kurama: *Drop it!*
Kuwa: Sheesh! Okay, okay!
Hiei: [kisses Kurama's neck]
Kurama: [grins, kisses Hiei deeply]

>A slight blush darkened Keiko's cheeks. "Y-Yuusuke, are you proposing to me?"
>Yuusuke blinked, then nodded slowly. "I guess so." He smiled at her. "I want to be with you forever, Keiko."

Kurama: Must make going to the bathroom embarrassing.
Yuusuke: Not like *that.*
Kuwa: You actually *want* your clone to marry her?
Yuusuke: No!!
Koenma: [kisses his neck] Good.
Hiei: Che. If he's going to marry her, why bother with the abortion?
Yuusuke: Well, good point, but they'd prolly' argue that they still don't have a lot of money and being a Tantei.
Hiei: [snorts]
Kurama: [kisses him]

>The girl stared at him for a few minutes. Then she nodded numbly. "Hai. I accept, Yuusuke . . ." She suddenly leaned against him, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you, Yuusuke."

Yuusuke: ... Yeah, I'm with you, Hiei. If they're getting married *anyway* why not just keep it? Geez, clones are stupid.
Kuwa: Especially if they're gonna stay together.
Koenma: Even if they weren't, there's always adoption...
Hiei: [frowns] What's that?
Yuusuke: You give the kid up and some other family takes care of them. Basically.
Hiei: Then why don't they do *that*?
Yuusuke: [shrugs] It'd be kinder. But I'm not a clone, so I don't know what they're thinking.
Hiei: [mutters] At least give it a fighting chance...
Kurama: [tightens his embrace]
Hiei: I'm *fine,* Imp...
Kurama: [simply] I know.

>Botan pouted cutely, her arms crossed. "Mou . . . It's not fair! My one day off in the longest time and Keiko's sick! I was looking forward to going out for a girls' night, with all of us . . ."

Yuusuke: ... Nah. I consider Botan like my sister too, so I ain't touching that one.
Hiei: If Yukina's with them, you're damned smart to have left it.
Yuusuke: [nods] I was thinking that too.
Hiei: [smirks]

>Shizuru lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "She's been sick quite a lot lately. I wonder if something's wrong . . ."
>Yukina frowned. "I hope not."

Yuusuke: Hiei called it.
Kurama: So I guess this means that Keiko-clone hasn't shared the news with everyone.
Hiei: Well, she's shameful. No wonder.

>Botan suddenly straightened. "I know! We can go cheer her up!" Shizuru hid a smile at the ferry-girl's excitement.

Yuusuke: Eh? What's this?
Kurama: Oh, my.
Hiei: Well, look at the happy couple.
Yuusuke: We ain't ever had Yuri before either.
Kuwa: Yuri? My sister... in... [looks faint]
Hiei: And his imagination comes back to life.
Yuusuke: [snickers] That reminds me of zombies.
Kurama: [smiles] Mental picture, Kuwabara?
Kuwa: [eye twitch] Erm...
Yuusuke: I think we should lay off. It *is* his sister.
Hiei: Incest.
Koenma: You know, there *are* twincest fics out there.
Hiei: Twincest...?
Yuusuke: Incest between twins.
Kurama: [to himself] Now they're just trying to get a rise out of him...
Hiei: [whispers] And I'm not taking the bait.
Yuusuke: [overhears] Party pooper.

>Yukina clapped her hands. "I'm sure that would make her feel better! And maybe I can try to see what's wrong while we're there!"
>The pink-eyed girl grinned. "Alright then, it's decided! Let's go!"

Yuusuke: [sings] Come on, let's go! Everything will be alright. Are you ok?
Hiei: And we have our own personal juke box.
Koenma: A warm and beautiful juke box.
Yuusuke: [kisses him, blushing lightly at the compliment]
Kurama: [chuckles]

>* * *

Yuusuke: Search for your love, sora no suishou /Search for your love, nakanai de kure...
Koenma: [snuggles him] I already found mine.
Yuusuke: [blushes further, grinning]
Hiei: [snuggles against Kurama] Hn.
Kurama: [whispers] They *are* cute.
Hiei: [softly] I know... And I found mine, too...
Kurama: And I mine. [kisses his cheek] My love.
Hiei: [blushes slightly and kisses him deeply]

>Kuwabara let out a shill noise that made both Hiei and Kurama wince as Johnny Cage was bitten in half by Liu Kang's dragon form. "You always do that, Shrimp!"

Yuusuke: Oh, here's the game part mentioned before.
Kuwa: Oh. Video games.
Hiei: Che! Waste of time.
Yuusuke: [shrugs] Well, if you've got time to kill, nothing really wrong with it. But I do prefer real fighting.
Koenma: [hugs him] I prefer simulated.
Yuusuke: Don't worry. [kisses him deeply]
Koenma: [eyes widen in surprise, but he returns it, practically pulling Yuusuke into his lap]
Hiei: [to Kurama] When do you think they'll finally do it?
Kurama: [shrugs] When they're ready.
Hiei: Don't wanna bet?
Kurama: [smirks] Oh, I'm always up for a bet. I doubt they'll do it up here. Koenma looks like the romantic type, and there's not much up here, and we're not giving up our room.
Hiei: [nods] Yep. Probably his place. I wonder if we were right about the bedroom. It's gotta be huge.
[by this time the kiss has ended]
Koenma: [blushing deeply] That is absolutely none of your business.

>Hiei snorted. "And you always pick the buffoon. What's your point?"
>The ningen glowered at Hiei. "It's more fun with Yuusuke. At least he doesn't use the same character all the time."

Yuusuke: I don't care who I'm playing as long as they kick ass.
Kurama: That fits your style, actually.
Hiei: Yeah. As long as you kick ass, you don't care what weapons you use.
Yuusuke: [nods] Yep.
Hiei: Like with the Mirror...
Yuusuke: ... You gotta admit, that was clever.
Kurama: [rolls his eyes] You didn't know it was going to work!
Hiei: Che. Lucky shot. If it hadn't, you'd be dead.
Koenma: Don't joke like that!
Yuusuke: [kisses his forehead] Don't worry. Hiei and I got no reason to fight each other... [mumbles] Not right *now* anyway.
Koenma: That's not reassuring.
Yuusuke: [sheepish] Sorry.
Hiei: I have no reason to make a move against Yuusuke, anyway.
Yuusuke: See, K-chan? No worries.
Koenma: [smiles weakly] Yeah...
Yuusuke: [kisses him again, touching his cheek tenderly]

>Kurama glanced up from his book. "Speaking of Yuusuke, where is he?"
>Kuwabara sighed. "He said something about visiting Keiko because she's sick."

Kurama: And it looks like the whole gang is going to show up.
Yuusuke: How convenient.
Hiei: And we can tell this fic is headed for disaster.
Yuusuke: [makes an explosion-type sound]
Hiei: Gore. And they all died. The end.
Koenma: Nice thought. Not going to happen.
Hiei: What, are you Randy now?
Koenma: No!
Yuusuke: K-chan's much cuter than that sod.
Kuwa: Er... That had a double-meaning.
Hiei: Duh.
[Koenma and Yuusuke blush now]
Kurama: And they're blushing again.
Hiei: Good.
Kurama: [snickers]

>Hiei frowned. "Again?"

>His partner's frown matched his. "She's been ill an awful lot lately. I wonder what's wrong."

Yuusuke: Partner?
Kurama: Me.
Yuusuke: You're together this fic? Go, you.
Hiei: One good point.
Kurama: [grins]
Hiei: [grins back]

>"I dunno." Kuwabara scowled. "And lately, Yuusuke's always busy--working and stuff. I dunno why, and he won't talk."

Yuusuke: His lips were stitched together.
Koenma: Ick...
Yuusuke: That's like in every other horror movie.
Kurama: Is it symbolic toward anything?
Yuusuke: Maybe being quiet? Dunno. It just shows up a lot.
Koenma: A lot of cultures believe that the soul leaves from the mouth. So if the mouth is sewed shut, even in death...
Yuusuke: [nods] There's a thought.
Koenma: A disturbing one. Your soul would eventually be destroyed like that.
Hiei: [Pinhead] I'll tear your soul apart.
Yuusuke: [points at Hiei] Perfect example. Boogeymen don't usually care about people's souls. They eat them, use them for power, yada yada.
Koenma: [shrugs] Generally, it's humans that did this sort of thing. It was a long time ago, though. I've never seen it, personally. Just heard stories.
Yuusuke: [interested] Why was it done? As punishment?
Koenma: Depends, really. Sometimes it was just because they were disliked. As I said, I don't know most of the details. Morbid, really.
Yuusuke: [nods] Yeah.
Koenma: [hugs him] That's why I don't like the thought, though.
Yuusuke: [hugs him back] Sorry. Too many horror movies, I guess.
Koenma: [smiles] It's okay.

>Hiei and Kurama exchanged a look. The redhead sighed slightly. "Maybe we should talk to him about it. Maybe see what's going on. We might be able to help him, depending on what the problem is . . ."

Yuusuke: No, you can't help with this problem.
Kurama: Well, they could talk to them about it and give advice.
Hiei: Feh.

>Kuwabara brightened. "Yeah! You might have better luck than I have. Keiko's parents went to visit some relatives, so it shouldn't be a problem if we stop by."

Yuusuke: This confuses me. What does Keiko's parents have to do with Kuwabara not being able to visit?
Hiei: I think he means with getting you to talk.
Yuusuke: [reads the sentence again] Oh. 'kay.
Kurama: It was a tad confusing, but not unless you took it out of context.
Yuusuke: [shrugs] I take a lot of things out of context.
Hiei: Can't remember after riffing?
Yuusuke: Huh?
Hiei: [rolls eyes] You can't remember the context after riffing?
Koenma: Well, we *do* go off-topic a lot.
Kuwa: Like when we rip Lucas.
Yuusuke: [snicker] That's half the fun. Shows we're not taking these things seriously. Or trying not to at least.
Hiei: [glances at Kurama briefly] For the most part.
Kurama: [frowns]
Hiei: [kisses him] Sometimes you take them a bit seriously...
Kurama: [looks away] I know.
Hiei: [hugs him]
Kurama: [hides his face in Hiei's shoulder]
Hiei: [worried] Imp...?
Kurama: [kisses his neck] I... Sorry. It's nothing.
Hiei: [whispers] Communication, Imp...
Kurama: [smiles slightly] I still... feel guilty.
Hiei: [kisses him deeply] We talked about this. No more blame.
Kurama: I know that. I... just can't make my heart believe it yet.

>Kurama smiled. "I'll bring a movie with so we can pretend that's the reason we're visiting. I just bought a new American movie yesterday, and it's supposed to be really good."
>Hiei shrugged. "Well, let's go then."

Yuusuke: Some excuse. And an American movie?
Kurama: I'm guessing the authors are American.
Yuusuke: At least they're sticking to what they know, then.
Kuwa: [looking at Hiei and Kurama] What was the deal with you two anyway?
Kurama: [frowns again, but doesn't answer]
Hiei: None of your business. [leans his head against Kurama's chest]
Kurama: [hugs him]
Kuwa: [sighs] Fine...

>* * *

Kurama: [waits] No songs?
Yuusuke: Nah. Don't feel like it.
Koenma: [kisses him] Darn... I like your voice...
Yuusuke: [smiles] Maybe next time.
Koenma: [plays with Yuusuke's hair] Okay.

>Yuusuke held Keiko's hair from her face as she finished emptying her stomach into the toilet. "You okay now?" He waited for her nod and pulled her up gently, handing her a paper towel and a glass of water that he'd set on the sink. One more day of work, and I'll have the money together. Then things will be on the track to getting better. He led Keiko back to her bedroom and tucked her back in.

Hiei: He sure is being methodical about murdering his own child.
Yuusuke: [flushes]
Koenma: [hugs him]
Hiei: Not *you*, the clone.
Yuusuke: I know.
Kurama: [pulls Hiei closer]
Hiei: [kisses his cheek]
Kurama: [softly] Are you sure you're okay?
Hiei: [same] I'm fine. We'll talk later. Promise.
Kurama: [kisses him] Okay.

>The girl sniffled a bit. "I hate this morning sickness. It's not even just morning, and it sucks."

Kuwa: Hey, Shrimp, will you get morning sickness?
Hiei: [blinks] Huh?
Koenma: Oh dear. Somebody better let him know what he's getting into. Preparation and all.
Kurama: [winces]
Yuusuke: [tries to change the subject] Hey, Koenma, have there been any male pregnancy fics that you've seen?
Koenma: [thoughtful] There used to be a lot of Star Wars ones floating around, actually.
Kuwa: Well, what about for... er... our series.
Koenma: [nods] Yes. They're in every fandom. Not a lot of people like them. Mpreg's never bothered me though. I think it's kind of cute.
[While they're distracted, Hiei quietly comforts Kurama.]
Yuusuke: Who's gotten pregnant in our fandom?
Koenma: That I've read? Hiei and Kurama.
Yuusuke: [nods] Should've known.
Kurama: [icily] I do *not* have matronly hips!
Hiei: [smirks, feels the lap he's sitting on] Nope. Definitely not matronly.
Kurama: [pulls Hiei closer] Dragon...

>Her fiancé sat on the bed, sighing softly. "I know, Keiko. But one more day of work, and I'll have the money together. And your appointment's on Wednesday. They'll give you the pills and things will start getting better."

Yuusuke: Mer. I hope he means the morning sickness and not "getting better" from being pregnant.
Hiei: You-clone probably means both. [mutters unintelligibly under his breath]
Kurama: [cuddles him] It *is* rather cold and methodical.
Yuusuke: Just a reminder to everyone, I would *never* do that.
Koenma: We know.
Kurama: If you did, we'd knock you up-side the head.
Hiei: [darkly] At the very *least*.
Kurama: [smiles slightly] Right.
Kuwa: Honestly, it wouldn't be any of my business.
Koenma: Oh?
Kuwa: Well, I'm not the one that has to deal with the consequences of what they decide. So it's not my business.
Koenma: Not even if you feel like they'd be making a mistake?
Kuwa: I'd say that I think that, but it's their decision, not mine.
Koenma: Ah. So you're saying you wouldn't beat him up for it.
Kuwa: [shrugs] He'll have to deal with guilt. I'd figure that's bad enough.
Koenma: [nods thoughtfully]
Yuusuke: And *I* would feel guilty, even if this clone wouldn't. Plus I wouldn't do that kind of thing in the first place. If it happened, I'd suck it up and take responsibility.
Kurama: You go, boy.
Hiei: You're more honorable than your clone.

>Keiko nodded. "I know . . . I just feel really bad. I was supposed to go out with Botan, Shizuru, and Yukina today because Botan finally got a day off, but I can't because I'm sick . . ."
>Yuusuke winced. Keiko had been looking forward to this for weeks. "I know, Keiko. Maybe you'll feel better later, and then you can go out?"

Hiei: Oh, poor clones. Can't go out with their friends.
Kurama: Teenage humans take that sort of thing seriously.
Yuusuke: Unless if they prefer not to socialize with anyone at all.
Hiei: They're generally more intelligent, anyway.

>Keiko smiled at him tearfully. "Thanks, Yuusuke." The boy smiled back at her. Both of them jumped slightly as the doorbell rang. "Who could that be . . .?"

Yuusuke: Gee, I wonder...
Hiei: Chaos. Yay.
Yuusuke: [Usagi] Chaos will go back to where it belongs. Into the back of people's minds. [Not an exact quote]
Kuwa: Meatball head.
Yuusuke: [snickers] Which one are you? Mamoru or Seiya?
Kuwa: Never watched the series.
Yuusuke: [snorts] Well, hate to break it to you like this, but there are only two people who call Usagi "Meatball head" and they're both in love with her.
Kuwa: Ick!
Koenma: [hugs Yuusuke] Mine!
Kurama: Not that I like Het very much, but... Seiya was far less irritating than Mamoru. At least he could *do* stuff.
Hiei: [smirks] Like turn into a woman?
Kurama: No, he was already a woman. He could turn into a man... I think that's how it goes.
Kuwa: Who cares. It was a dumb show.
Yuusuke: In your point of view. I just think differently.
Kuwa: [shrugs]
Yuusuke: *I* care.
Kuwa: Fine. Whatever.
Kurama: You're an obsessive fanboy. It's part of the description.
Yuusuke: Yup.

>Keiko's eyes widened as she heard a familiar voice at the door. Botan . . .? She sat upright as she heard Shizuru and a pause that probably indicated Yukina's soft speech. They came to visit me . . .? She bit her lip, forcing down the touched tears that stung her eyes and cursing her whacked hormones.

Hiei: Huh?
Yuusuke: Woman get really emotional when they're pregnant.
Hiei: Why?
Kurama: Hormones.
Kuwa: I wonder if Hiei's hormones will be out of whack?
Hiei: [shrugs] I wouldn't know. It's going to be the first time.
Kurama: [kisses him] And I'll be there every step of the way.
Hiei: [smiles]
Yuusuke: Same thing with the morning sickness then. We'll just have to find out when it happens.
Hiei: [stares]
Yuusuke: [blinks] What? We're your friends!
Koenma: You didn't expect us not to stick around, did you?
Kuwa: Yeah! We're gonna be there to support you and Kurama.
Hiei: [nods] Thanks...
Kurama: [smiles brightly and hugs him]

>Botan sat down on the bed. "How are you feeling, Keiko."

Kurama: [still hugging Hiei] Question mark.
Yuusuke: Oddly enough, Botan always jumps around...
Koenma: [nods] That's Botan.

>The brunette smiled. "Okay. I'm sorry I'm sick. This really ruins our plans . . ." She paused and glanced at Yuusuke as the doorbell rang again, shooting him a curious look.

Yuusuke: Since when was I in the room?
Kurama: Now you're just purposely looking for something to be wrong with this.
Yuusuke: I thought we always did that.
Kurama: I'd automatically assume that you'd followed the girls.
Yuusuke: But it didn't *say* that!
Kuwa: Maybe you're standing outside the room?
Yuusuke: But it didn't say that.
Kurama: Hence, "assume."
Hiei: [snorts] The fic sucks at description. Can we move on?

>He sighed. "I'll check it out. Be back in a minute." He left the room.

Yuusuke: He's dead.
Hiei: Good.
Kurama: You two are a tad too fascinated with death.
Yuusuke: [defensively] Just clones.
Koenma: Still...
Yuusuke: We're jaded. Half the time we can't help it.
Hiei: Why are you speaking for me?
Yuusuke: ... Sorry.
Hiei: [rolls his eyes] Death is part of life. It's the only thing that's a given--that you'll eventually die.
Yuusuke: "Do not fear death. Death is always at your side. When you show fear, it will spring at you faster than light. If you do not show fear, then it will cast its gaze gently, and guide us into... infinity."
Koenma: [kisses him] I still don't like the infatuation with it.
Kurama: Neither do I.
Hiei: I wouldn't go so far as to call it an infatuation. More like fascination.
Kurama: Still don't like it.
Hiei: [hugs him] It's not like I *seek* it...
Kurama: [nuzzles him] I know.
Yuusuke: [looks at Koenma] Neither do I.
Koenma: [kisses his cheek] Aa.
Yuusuke: [frowns] You're still not reassured, are you?
Koenma: [softly] You and death are just two things I don't like being in the same context. It's not that I don't believe you - I do. I just don't like the subject very well.
Yuusuke: [kisses him soundly] Well, I'm not going to die on you.
Koenma: [smiles] Good.

>Keiko gave her friends a warm look. "I wasn't expecting visitors, but I'm really glad you came." She paused as she heard a familiar, loud voice from the door.

Hiei: Either Yuusuke or the idiot.
Yuusuke: But I'm already there. Er, me clone.
Kuwa: Who's "the idiot"?
Hiei: [smirks at him]
Kurama: [softly] Don't start, dear one. I'm already getting a headache.
Kuwa: He better not be talking about me.
Hiei: It's so tempting, though...
Kurama: [kisses the back of his neck.] Thank you.
Hiei: [smiles at him] Only for you, Imp.
Kurama: [smiles back] I know. It makes the gesture all the more appreciated.
Hiei: [kisses him]

>Shizuru's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "What's my baka brother doing here?"

Hiei: [smirks, nuzzles Kurama's neck]
Yuusuke: [softly] Hiei called it.
Kuwa: I am *not* an idiot!!
Kurama: [softly] And that's fangirl Japanese...
Yuusuke: [shrugs] It's not the first time we've seen it. Nor will it be the last.
Kurama: Still. I don't like mutilations of my language.
Hiei: [nibbles on his earlobe]
Kurama: [giggles] Now you're just trying to distract me.
Hiei: Is it working?
Kurama: Yes. [kisses him deeply]

>Botan blinked. "Sounds like Kurama-kun is here too."
>"And probably Hiei-san," Yukina added softly.

Yuusuke: You two have this weird twin radar thing, don't you?
Hiei: Well, she knows we're a couple. She's smart enough to figure out I'd come with Kurama.
Kuwa: She's definitely smart enough.
Hiei: [softly] Plus... If we had a "twin radar thing" it wouldn't have taken me so long to find her...
Yuusuke: Well, she went to the Dark Tournament looking for "her brother," so...
Hiei: [flushes] She shouldn't have gone.
Yuusuke: She's a grown girl. Besides, Botan, Shizuru, and Keiko took care of her. And you saved her from that falling rubble.
Hiei: [uncomfortably] She still shouldn't have been there.
Kurama: [hugs him] He's more worried of what *could* have happened.
Hiei: [nods]
Kuwa: It could have been worse... if we hadn't been at the tournament...
Yuusuke: But we were and she's okay. Enough with this depressing talk.
Kuwa: You started it.
Yuusuke: I did *not*...

>More visitors . . . Why are they all coming here . . .? Yuusuke reappeared, looking slightly annoyed. Keiko frowned. "Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara . . .?"

Yuusuke: You need to ask? I thought all this was covered.
Hiei: I think we went over this. The clones are all fucking morons.
Yuusuke: Well, they're also supposed to be infertile, but here we are.
Hiei: I *wish* they were infertile.

>Yuusuke nodded. "They said they heard you were sick and came to visit. They brought a movie."

Yuusuke: What movie?
Hiei: Don't care.
Kurama: Well, given that it's *mine* it's not a horror flick or anything.
Yuusuke: Oh. Boring, then.
Kurama: [sighs]
Hiei: As long as it's not a chick flick, I don't mind.

>Keiko sighed. "I'll get dressed and join you. It's better than sitting in bed all day."
>Botan grinned. "That'd be fun. We'll wait in the living room with the boys, then." She stood and left the room, her gait filled with energy. Shizuru shook her head at Botan's antics and left, Yukina following.

Kurama: There's the shoujo-ai again.
Kuwa: I actually don't know if my sister's...
Kurama: It's never come up?
Kuwa: Nope. She's my sister, so whatever makes her happy...
Kurama: [smiles, nods]
Yuusuke: That's good, though... I mean, some people disown their siblings, and even their kids...
Kuwa: I'd never do that to my sister!
Yuusuke: Like I said, it's a good thing.
Hiei: People disown family for such a stupid reason?
Kurama: Sadly, yes.
Hiei: Che! Ningens...

>The brunette deflated. This was not supposed to happen . . .

Koenma: A lot of things weren't supposed to happen.
Kurama: But sometimes we're glad they do. [fluffs Hiei's hair]
Hiei: [smiles at him] Yes.
Kurama: [runs his hands through Hiei's hair]
Hiei: [purrs, leans into his touch]
Kuwa: I still can't believe he purrs...
Kurama: [giggles] I like it...
Hiei: [smirks] More...
Kurama: [blushes and continues petting Hiei's hair]
Yuusuke: Another cute moment.

>* * *

Yuusuke: [singing] Makenai! ashita e - A sailor yell! /Zettai! tsukamaeru! The sailor star!
Koenma: [kisses his neck]
Yuusuke: [blushes and smiles]

>"'Che! I will not watch a chick flick!"

Kurama: [groans, stops petting Hiei in his frustration] I should've known...
Yuusuke: Wow. In character!
Kurama: [grumbles]
Hiei: [kisses him] Imp, I just don't like sappy movies...
Kurama: [still grumbling] I just hate it being so obvious...
Hiei: [shrugs] Only some of the movies you like are chick flicks.
Koenma: Also, different people have different definitions of what a "chick flick" is.
Kurama: [nods] True.

>The fire demon hadn't expected his sister or the other girls to be there, and it unnerved him to be near his unknowing kin. So close, and yet so far away . . .

Hiei: No one say a word.
Yuusuke: Where's that last bit from? I've heard it before...
Kurama: It's actually a cliché, almost. It's all over the place.
Yuusuke: Oh.
Koenma: Hiei, we weren't *going* to say anything.
Kuwa: Yeah. It's your business, even if I think she has the right to know.
Kurama: He just hates us nagging him about it - especially me, since I used to do it so often.
Hiei: [softly] I don't need a guilt trip. I do that well enough myself.
Kurama: [kisses his neck] We're both pretty good at that.
Kuwa: What do you mean, Kurama? How do you do that?
Kurama: ... It's nothing. Don't worry about it.
Kuwa: [frowns] Okay...

>Kurama, who was seated on the floor beside the couch with his legs crossed, hid a smile. "Hiei, be tolerant." That earned him a glower. The redhead grabbed Hiei's hand and tugged him closer, whispering something to him that the others couldn't hear.

Yuusuke: [grins] They do that too.
Kurama: [whispers to Hiei] At least we're together in this fic.
Hiei: [whispers back] Truthfully, as long as I read them beside you, I don't care.
Yuusuke: And they're doing it again.
Koenma: [giggles]
Hiei: [whispers] As long as it doesn't have me paired with my sister... If you're there, I can cope.
Kurama: [pulls him into a deep kiss]
Hiei: [returns it with passion]
Kurama: [moans happily]

>The fire demon eyes widened slightly and he hned, allowing Kurama to pull him into his lap complacently.

Yuusuke: And they do that.
Hiei: [gasps as the kiss ends] I like his lap. It's soft.
Kurama: [chuckles, sucks on his neck]
Hiei: [moans, turns around to straddle Kurama's hips]
Kuwa: Hurry up, fic!
Yuusuke: [amused] I'd say something about the fic taking its time, but then someone would accuse me voyeurism again.
[Hiei and Kurama are too involved to comment.]

>Botan and Shizuru exchanged an amused, knowing look, moving closer to each other on the couch to make room for Keiko to sit between Botan and Yukina.

Yuusuke: Actually, I think they'd be a cute couple.
Kuwa: [silent for a moment] As long as they're happy...
Yuusuke: [pats his shoulder]
Kuwa: [shrugs] They'd make a good couple, probably.
Yuusuke: [nods] Yep.
Hiei: [moans against Kurama's shirt]
Kurama: [gasps softly] Hiei...
Yuusuke: As much as you two won't believe this, I'm not a voyeur, and I'm really hoping you're not exhibitionists...
Hiei: [throatily] I was pretending you weren't there.
Yuusuke: [annoyed] Well, your moans kind of made it hard to pretend.
Hiei: [grumbles] I can't wait until he and Koenma finally do it, then I don't have to hear him bitching...
Yuusuke: [snarky] We won't be exhibitionists.
Koenma: [is blushing]
Hiei: [scowls] Hn.
Kurama: [is still kissing and nuzzling Hiei's neck]
Hiei: [leans against Kurama] Mmmm...

>Yuusuke looked at the title. "Cider House Rules. It's subtitled in
Japanese, fortunately." His eyes widened as Keiko paled. "Keiko?"

Yuusuke: [cringes] She's gonna hurl again.
Kurama: [winces and stops messing with Hiei's neck] That is *not* a good movie to watch, considering the situation. Talk about an intertextual reference...
Hiei: [mourns the loss of his fox's mouth] Oh?
Kurama: It's about a boy who grows up in an orphanage, and he's against abortion, though he knows how to do them. He eventually gives an incest victim an abortion.
Hiei: [quiet for a moment] ... What's an orphanage?
Kurama: An institution for children who don't have parents. [hugs him lightly]
Hiei: [still softly] Dead, or abandoned?
Kurama: [same] Both.
Hiei: [shifts uncomfortably, says nothing]
Kurama: [kisses his forehead silently]
Yuusuke: [winces] This fanfic is tense.

>The girl stood and ran from the room, her hand over her mouth. Botan ran after her, followed closely by Yukina.

Yuusuke: I was right.

>Yuusuke sighed and sat down on the floor heavily, running a hand through his hair. Damnit . . . I hate seeing her so miserable.

Yuusuke: You should be, idiot clone, it's your fault.
Koenma: It's hers, too. She should have been on birth control.
Yuusuke: Oh. Right, yeah.
Hiei: Either way, the clones are morons.
Yuusuke: Agreed.

>Hiei and Kurama exchanged a concerned glance. Kurama then devoted his attention to Yuusuke. "Did you want to tell us what's wrong?"
>Yuusuke looked up, his expression that of a deer caught in headlights. "What makes you think anything's wrong."

Kurama: Question mark.
Yuusuke: [as Kurama] Gee, you've been busy all the time and Keiko's always sick.
Hiei: [as himself] You're actually *working*.
Yuusuke: [rolls his eyes]
Koenma: He works for me...
Yuusuke: Oh?
Koenma: [flushes] You're one of my Tantei...
Yuusuke: [smiles] Well at least I have you sticking up for me...
Hiei: [snickers] Sticking up in what way?
Yuusuke: You would take that out of context. Go back to fondling Kurama.
Hiei: But I thought you wanted us to quit.
Yuusuke: [sighs]

>Kurama sighed. "Yuusuke, Keiko's sick and you're working most of the time for some reason. What's going on? Is there anything we can do to help?"
>"Nothing's wrong! She's just sick. And I just want money. Is there a problem with that?" The defensive inflection in his voice gave him away.

Hiei: Say the money's for anime. We might believe it.
Yuusuke: Oi...
Kurama: That's the real Yuusuke. And technically we can't, since he's dating Koenma.
Hiei: True.
Koenma: Oi...

>A burst of loud conversation from the bathroom interrupted their conversation. Hiei frowned. "What the hell is going on?" He looked at Yuusuke. "What are they talking about, Keiko being pregnant?"

Koenma: The secret's out.
Yuusuke: [mock yawns] Darn.

>Yuusuke blanched as three sets of eyes turned on him and Shizuru rose and headed toward the bathroom. "It . . ." He blushed. "The condom broke . . ."

Kurama: That's...
Hiei: Pathetic?
Kurama: Yeah.
Yuusuke: Agreed.
Kuwa: Why isn't it over yet?
Koenma: What don't you understand about the word, "torture"?
Hiei: Knowing him, probably everything.
Kuwa: Shrimp!!
Kurama: [darkly] I did mention something about a headache earlier. Lay off.
Hiei: [winces] Sorry, Imp...
Kurama: And...?
Hiei: ... And Kuwabara...
Kurama: [smiles] Sorry. It's the shouting...
Hiei: [leans against him] My fault. Don't worry about it.
Kurama: [kisses him] Thanks.
Hiei: [smiles at him]

>Kurama winced. Kuwabara frowned. "That explains why Keiko's sick, but why are you working all the time?"
>The raven-haired youth looked away. He was saved from answering by girls' return to the living room. Keiko sank to the couch, and the other three followed suit. Kurama smiled at Keiko. "Congratulations." The smile disappeared as Keiko burst into tears. He glanced at Yuusuke.

Yuusuke: [winces]
Hiei: Smooth, Kurama-clone.
Kurama: [chuckles] He completely ignored the fact that Yuusuke said it was an accidental pregnancy.
Koenma: [shakes his head sadly]
Yuusuke: Clones.
Koenma: Indeed.
Hiei: Too bad Maul died in Episode One. He'd have killed all of them.
Kurama: [mildly] I actually mourn Xanatos. He was clever, for a Sith. And before anyone asks, he was Qui-Gon's first apprentice. They had a falling out and he turned to the dark side.
Hiei: Who the hell is Xanatos? Was that the guy with the weird lightsaber in Attack of the Clones?
Kurama: [giggles] No, he died in the books. Long before Episode One.
Hiei: Oh. I need to start reading those when we get home...
Kurama: The reason I mentioned him though, is that he could fend off Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan with an ordinary, one-bladed lightsaber. Less cool, but it might mean he had more skill.
Yuusuke: Qui-Gon sucks as a Jedi anyway. I mean, Darth Maul killed him, and Obi-Wan managed to kill Maul. Talk about pathetic.
Kurama: It's called old age, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: Dude, Yoda is *how* old?
Kurama: [grins] For humans it's different. Look at Obi-Wan - he wasn't doing any flips and stuff in Episode 2. And he was, what, thirty-five there? Then look at A New Hope.
Yuusuke: [shrugs] So?
Kurama: [sighs] So, Qui-Gon couldn't fend off Maul because he no longer had the strength. And Obi-Wan couldn't fend off Dookie for the same reason.
Kuwa: Did Maul ever die in Sith Academy?
Kurama: Well, there's the one where he accidentally cuts himself in half...
Yuusuke: [smirks] You'll have to find out yourself, Kuwabara.
Kurama: Besides, it was plot contrivance. The only reason Qui-Gon died was because Ben died in episode four.
Hiei: Now I'm confused. How does that make sense?
Kurama: The new trilogy is mirroring the old one. Certain plot points, anyway.
Kuwa: And Lucas gets more unoriginal...
Yuusuke: Like, the past repeats itself?
Kurama: No, he thinks he's making a poem.
Yuusuke: What?
Kurama: That's what he said.
Kuwa: He's delusional.
Koenma: That's an understatement.

>Kuwabara stood. "What?! But-"
>Shizuru silenced him with a deadly glare. "Kazuma, shut up!"

Koenma: Again, Shizuru is in character...
Yuusuke: [snickers]
Kuwa: [sighs]
Hiei: Miss your sister?
Kuwa: Do you miss yours?
Hiei: Che. Dumb question.
Kuwa: You asked it first.
Hiei: [glares]
Kurama: [softly] At least they aren't yelling... yet...
Yuusuke: It's different this time because Kuwabara beat out Hiei in insulting.
Hiei: [glares at him now as well]
Kurama: Calm, dear heart.
Hiei: [leans back against him, glaring through half-closed eyes] Hn.
Kurama: [pets him]
Hiei: [purrs]
Koenma: Situation defused.
Yuusuke: [snickers]

>Keiko looked up, sobbing. "My parents would be so disappointed in me if they knew. They . . . they keep telling me I have all this potential. If I have a baby . . . I won't be able to do anything, and I'll end up the same way they did. And they want me to be better than they were . . ."

Yuusuke: I think her parents should be understanding of their decision, if they decide to keep it. Then again, I don't know how they'd react, so...
Koenma: I doubt they'd feel good about influencing her in *that* way, though.
Yuusuke: [shrugs]
Hiei: Hell, they probably wouldn't be proud of her being selfish.
Kurama: They might not see it as being selfish, especially if they really want her to have a future as much as she's emphasizing.
Hiei: It *is* a future. Just a different one.
Kurama: [smiles and nods]
Kuwa: Plus, all it'd necessarily mean is giving birth. I mean, they could put the kid up for adoption, and then it'd be fine.
Hiei: Then why aren't they doing that?
Kurama: Well, I guess... Statistically, adopted kids are expected to do poorly.
Hiei: [frowns] So they're going to kill it because it won't have the greatest outcome?
Kurama: [hugs him]

>Kurama looked at Yuusuke. "And that's why you've been working lately?" The boy nodded slightly. "You didn't have to do that. I know of plants that can induce miscarriage. All you had to do was ask."

Yuusuke: Well, honestly, I didn't know there were plants that could do that.
Hiei: Imp?
Kurama: [nods] There are.
Hiei: Have you ever...?
Kurama: [hugs him] No. I just know which ones do. I generally try to know what all the uses of different plants are, just in case they'll be useful.
Hiei: [nods]
Koenma: [softly] Back several hundred years ago, people would do that, though...
Hiei: [leans closer to Kurama]
Kurama: [glares meaningfully at Koenma]
Koenma: [winces and mouths 'sorry']
Kurama: [nods]

>Yuusuke looked at the floor. "I . . . we weren't sure how you guys would react . . ."
>"Yuusuke, you've supported Hiei and me in our relationship.

Kurama: And cheered while we kissed for the first time.
Hiei: Loudly.
Yuusuke: [blushes] Well, it took you two long enough.
Hiei: Us? It's taking you and Koenma forever to have sex.
Kurama: However, we're proud of you for not rushing in.
Koenma: [blushes] Well... We're both... I mean...
Hiei: Virgins?
Yuusuke: [blushes deeply]
Kurama: [hides his smile]
Hiei: Oh, that's adorable.
Kurama: Well, they do have to be careful. Virgins generally take longer to get around to it.
Hiei: Unless they have an experienced and very horny partner.
Kurama: [tries not to laugh]
Hiei: [whispers] Well, you were... If Botan hadn't stopped by that one morning...
Kurama: [smiles widely, blushing lightly] I remember... You just looked too beautiful that morning.
Hiei: [blushes] You look beautiful all the time...
Kurama: [in his ear] But you're much more beautiful on the inside than I'll ever be.
Hiei: [gives him a long, sad look] No. It's the opposite, Imp.
Kurama: [shakes his head, serious] No, it's not.
Hiei: Yes, it is. I'm too soiled...
Kurama: And you think I'm any better?
Hiei: [kisses him] I was soiled from conception, Imp. Just... don't.
Kurama: [holds him close] Then we'll agree to disagree. Because it's not what I believe when I look at you, wake up with you beside me. To *me* you're the most beautiful, precious thing. I cherish the trust and understanding you give me, though I don't deserve it.
Hiei: [hides his face in Kurama's shirt] You're that to me, too. And more...
Kurama: I love you more than words, my dragon.
Hiei: [nods, not saying anything]
Yuusuke: [frowns] You two okay?
Kurama: [softly] You're right, I keep forgetting they're in here.
Hiei: [to Yuusuke] We're fine.
Yuusuke: [worried] If you're sure...
Hiei: Yeah.

>And we're your friends. Friends support friends. Our views on the matter don't matter all that much. The decision belongs to you, and, as friends, we're going to support you. It's obvious that it was a hard decision to come to, and I know that the support of friends is important in matters like this." His arms tightened slightly around Hiei, who looked a bit confused.

Yuusuke: [mumbles] And friends have an ear to listen with...
Hiei: I said we were fine.
Yuusuke: And I don't think you are. You're clinging to Kurama like you'll lose him if you let go.
Hiei: [glares]
Kurama: It's private, Yuusuke.
Yuusuke: [softly] I know... I just... I'm worried about you two.
Hiei: [calms] Alright. It's not okay, it's not nothing. But we just don't want to talk about it. Satisfactory?
Yuusuke: [nods] Okay. Just, if you need us...
Hiei: [glances at Kurama] We know.
Kurama: And we appreciate that.
Yuusuke: [nods again]

>Keiko sniffled. "The problem is, it'd be really hard for us to provide a good home for a baby right now. Yuusuke still has that bad reputation from high school, and it'd be hard for me to hold down a job while I'm pregnant. There's no way we could cover expenses, and both of us could count school out of the picture. And I don't like the idea of abandoning the baby to adoption either. Adopted children are expected to not do very well in the long run, and low expectations lead to low goals and accomplishments, for the most part [1]. I'd hate to think we'd be abandoning a child to that."

Yuusuke: Ooh. Footnote.
Hiei: [very softly] Better than killing it...
Kurama: [kisses his cheek]
Hiei: [hugs him] I'm okay.
Kurama: [is about to say something but stops] Okay.
Hiei: [whispers] I know. I'm not. Later.

>Hiei finally spoke. "What exactly are abortion and adoption?"

Koenma: Flashback.
Yuusuke: No kidding.
Kuwa: Realistic, though.

>Kurama hugged the fire demon. "Abortion is when a pregnancy is terminated, and adoption is when parents who can't afford a child give the child away, usually to an orphanage." Hiei stiffened, and Kurama gently kissed the back of his neck.

Yuusuke: ... [glances at the two demons in question] Now it's just getting eerie.
Kurama: [shakes his head]
Hiei: [isn't looking at the screen]

>"The child is usually taken in by another family, but sometimes children are never adopted and they live in the orphanage until they're old enough to leave and live on their own." Hiei slid off Kurama's lap, opting to sit beside him instead. The redhead winced at the closed-off expression on his partner's face. That strikes him a little too close to home . . . He gently put a hand on Hiei's knee, whispering a promise to talk later.

Yuusuke: See?
Hiei: No.
Kurama: [sighs] I wish we weren't in a satellite. We could blow up the theatre and go home early.
Kuwa: Yeah...
Hiei: I just want to go *home*...
Kurama: [softly] You have to admit, blowing this fic up is tempting.
Hiei: It's *always* tempting.
Koenma: It's for a different reason this time, though.
Hiei: Hn.

>Yuusuke shot Kurama an apologetic look. No one else noticed anything amiss, except for Botan and Shizuru who exchanged yet another glance, this one concerned. Yuusuke cleared his throat. "We are going to get married, though. That's the second priority after . . . after this."

Kurama: And Yuusuke-clone is in character too, now. Heh.
Yuusuke: What?!
Kurama: Not the marriage part.
Yuusuke: What, then?
Kurama: Above the marriage part.
Yuusuke: Ohhh... The look?
Kurama: You noticed. You always notice.
Yuusuke: [shrugs] I try.
Kurama: [smiles]

>Keiko nodded. "That's definitely not the reason we're getting an abortion."
>Kuwabara finally sighed. "I don't agree with it, but I'm your friend, so I support you in your decision." The others agreed silently.

Koenma: And Kuwabara's in character.
Kuwa: Though I don't think it's *any* of my business whether a woman... er, someone gets an abortion. It's their decision.
Yuusuke: Can't they just come out and say they don't want the kid? That's basically what it is.
Hiei: [leans even closer to Kurama and closes his eyes]
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan tenderly]
Hiei: [shivers at the sensation]
Kurama: [smiles]

>They sat for a few minutes, no one speaking. Finally, Kurama picked up the DVD he'd brought. "I don't think this is a good movie for us to watch right now. Anyone else have any suggestions.?"

Kurama: Take out that period.
Koenma: [softly] Grammar queen.
Yuusuke: I feel like watching From Dusk Till Dawn... [eyes widen] Oh shit.
Koenma: [frowns] What's wrong?
Yuusuke: [groans] Quentin Tarantino's new movie, Kill Bill! It came out back in October. I didn't remember until *just now*!
Hiei: Any gore?
Yuusuke: Kill Bill? Probably. There's supposed to be some awesome fighting. Swords, guns, kitchen knives...
Hiei: [mutters] Too bad we're stuck up here.
Yuusuke: And you'll like From Dusk Till Dawn too. A *good* vampire movie.
Kurama: [mildly] That's rare.
Hiei: [still muttering] Too bad it's not up here.
Yuusuke: Tell me about it.
Kuwa: I hate this.

>Keiko smiled wanly. "I'm actually feeling better. Why don't we go out as a group? We rarely do that, and it should be fun."

Yuusuke: Great. I'm *so* glad the clones are all happy.
Hiei: The house spontaneously combusts. The end.
Yuusuke: Awesome.
Kurama: But it is rare for all of us to go out together.
Koenma: It's rare for us to go out at *all*.
Hiei: Up here, at least.

>Shizuru grinned. "That sounds like a good idea. Let's get out of here. We'll decide what we're doing on our way." She rose and tugged Botan from the couch, dragging her toward the door and causing Hiei and Kurama to smirk knowingly at each other. "Come on, you bunch of lovebirds. We're wasting Botan's day off!"
>"Hai!"

Yuusuke: Is it normal for couples to share glances like that?
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Who said that last part?
Koenma: Some nameless clone.
Kuwa: Or all of them.
Koenma: It doesn't really matter.
Hiei: True.

>* * *

Yuusuke: [sings] Koukai wa shinai... Sailor eyes. /Anata ni tsuite'ku. Sailor wing. /kono uta wa hoshi no michishirube...
Koenma: [kisses him]
Yuusuke: [smiles]

>It was much, much later when Kurama and Hiei finally reached their apartment.

Yuusuke: It took them that long to get past all the wards and booby traps?
Koenma: Silly... They went out with everyone.
Yuusuke: [raspberry] I know. Just trying to make a joke.
Koenma: [grins at him]

>The redhead was worried about his diminutive lover. Hiei, while usually somewhat reserved, had remained mostly silent throughout the entire outing, and he'd stiffened noticably--even to Kuwabara--when Kurama had told Yuusuke to stop by for the medication later in the week. "Koi, are you okay?"

Yuusuke: [Dory] I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy…
Kurama: [glares] Stupid clone. Don't ask when you know the answer.
Yuusuke: You just don't like the fic.
Koenma: You'd have to ask that question to initiate conversation about it, though...
Kurama: [rolls his eyes] Fine. The clone can do whatever it wants.

>"Hn."
>"Did you want to talk about it?"
>"Hn . . ."

Yuusuke: Hesitation! He's giving in!
Kurama: Don't even start trying to translate Hiei. That's *my* job.
Yuusuke: Okay, okay! I was just being silly anyway...
Koenma: He's probably right, though.

>The fire demon sat down on the couch, curling his legs to his chest. Kurama sat beside him. "It's really hard to be around Yukina . . . especially with everything that happened today . . ." Hiei looked up, his deep eyes piercing. "Things here in the Ningenkai are so much easier . . ." He looked away again. "If they had the abortion option in the Makai . . ."

Yuusuke: Oh. [looks at Hiei]
Hiei: [says nothing]
Kurama: [hugs him tightly]
Yuusuke: [leans back against Koenma] Now *I* want to blow this thing up.
Kuwa: Me too...
Koenma: Let's just hope it's over soon. [pets Yuusuke's hair again]
Kurama: [softly] They keep picking ones that hit a little too close to home.
Yuusuke: [softly] On purpose?
Kurama: Perhaps.
Kuwa: Probably, knowing the git...
Yuusuke: [cracks his knuckles]
Hiei: [softly] It's his revenge for the jokes, probably.
Yuusuke: [same] When we get outta here, I'll do worse to him than call him names.
Hiei: He'll just do worse.
Yuusuke: I can take him.
Kuwa: [stares at Hiei] You're not giving up, are you?
Hiei: [shrugs]
Kurama: [whispers] I won't let you...
Hiei: [doesn't answer]
Kurama: You're stronger than this. Stronger than *him*. Don't let this beat you.
Hiei: [kisses him] I know. I know...

>Kurama hugged Hiei, pulling the fire demon into his lap. "Shhhh . . . Hiei . . ."

Yuusuke: Heh.

>The Jaganshi shook his head. "Fox . . . It made me wonder if I would have been better off."

Kurama: [unsettled, looks askance at his lover]
Hiei: [softly] No. I know I wouldn't have been.
Kurama: [smiles brightly] I'm glad. Because I definitely want you around.
Hiei: [smiles slightly] You're why.
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan] I figured.
Hiei: [sighs]

>The youko's eyes widened impossibly and he hugged Hiei so tightly that the fire demon felt as though he was in danger of suffocating. "Don't say that! Don't ever say something like that, Hiei!" Kurama loosened his hold on Hiei, allowing his lover to breathe.

Yuusuke: Aw, why? Do clones need to breathe?
Hiei: No. It promotes life.
Yuusuke: Wouldn't want that.
Kuwa: Nope. Life promotes more life.

>"Hiei . . . If that had happened, I never would have met you. And I love you. I love you so much, Hiei." Kurama's voice broke and he kissed Hiei over the Jagan and buried his face in the dark, spiky hair.

Kurama: [softly] More than words...
Hiei: [kisses him deeply]
Kurama: [moans]

>Hiei slipped his arms around the fox , hugging him gently. "I'm sorry, Fox. I shouldn't have said that."
>Kurama pulled away. "No. I want you to be honest with me, Hiei." He placed a chaste kiss on his partner's lips. "I'm just afraid that I'm not doing well by you if you still feel like that."

Yuusuke: Ouch.
Kuwa: We should be riffing it, you know... Like "She slipped me her tongue" and stuff... Not taking it so seriously...
Yuusuke: I'd like to, but I can't think of any good riffs. It's like Hiei described Gundam Wing - sucks your intelligence away.
Koenma: Yeah... In a different way, but with similar results.
Hiei: At least it's not watching Heero and Relena call each others' names.
Kurama: Now *that* reminds me of Miaka and Tamahome in Fushigi Yuugi.
Yuusuke: Gundam Wing is special though. Just need to look for the homoerotic symbolism.
Kurama: True. Fushigi Yuugi gets annoying after a while. It's almost all, "Miaka!" "Tamahome!" "Miaka!" Very, very annoying. Fun to riff, though
Yuusuke: So's Gundam Wing.
Hiei: [smirks] Yeah.

>The fire demon smiled slightly at the redhead. "Fox . . . it's been a long time since I've felt like that, because of you."

Yuusuke: Aww.
Kuwa: Hey, it's almost over!
Hiei: [monotone] Yay.
Yuusuke: [simpering] I've been waiting for this moment all my life...
Hiei: [whispers] That's true, though.
Kurama: [smiles, kisses him deeply]
Hiei: [returns the kiss]

>His lover smiled back, his worry appeased. "And everyone feels like that from time to time. They just need reassurance, ne?" Hiei nodded and Kurama's smile widened, turning somewhat lecherous. "So . . . where do you want that reassurance?"

Yuusuke: [cheers loudly] Go, Hiei and Kurama's clones!
Hiei: [gasps] In the observatory. [gives Kurama a look filled with something other than lust]
Kurama: [smiles, but gives everyone meaningful looks]
[the other three nod understandingly and get up to leave]
Yuusuke: [singing] Oh, my, my, this here Anakin guy. Maybe Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry...
Koenma: [snickers]

~ Satellite ~

When they got out of the theatre, the five originally went their separate ways. Hiei and Kurama made out loudly on their way to the observatory, while Koenma and Yuusuke mentioned naps and Kuwabara groused, muttering about how he'd just play solitaire. Several minutes later, Koenma, Yuusuke, and Kuwabara quietly made their way to the observatory.

They hesitated a bit before going in, wondering if Hiei and Kurama had perhaps decided to continue what they'd started, but they found the two waiting for them. No one spoke until the door was safely closed.

"We need to get off of this satellite," Kurama said softly, glancing worriedly at the fire demon lounging in his lap. "It's driving all of us
crazy."

Yuusuke nodded. "I wasn't kidding about the cabin fever thing a few MSTs ago. We're getting it bad. If things keep going like this, Rando's going to win. And if you two are right, that means the Meikai will be the real winners, and no one will be standing between them and the Ningenkai and Reikai."

Silence reigned for a while. Then Kuwabara spoke softly. "We have to get home. I mean, Shizuru, and Yukina..." He trailed off.

Koenma nodded. "Botan, Keiko, Atsuko, George... All of them are in danger if we don't get out of here."

"So we need to up the number of rooms explored per day, and Hiei and I are going to keep working on the control room. Kuwabara, you'll keep doing distraction, okay?" They each nodded. "We *have* to get out of here. He's finding out what affects us and getting fics that hurt. It's only going to get worse."

Yuusuke nodded. "Yeah, and even though we're trying not to take them seriously... It's hard not to when they hit a soft spot." He glanced at Hiei. The fire demon was paying attention, but he didn't seem to be interested in participating in the discussion. Yuusuke looked up at Kurama, and the fox gave him a bitter smile.

Koenma watched, understanding completely why it was imperative to escape. "Then we need to hurry. I'm betting that he's going to give us something to put us off guard next time."

"We'll just pretend we don't notice, then," Kuwabara said. "Hopefully we'll be gone before he tries to catch us off guard."

"I don't want to go into the theatre again." They glanced at Hiei as he spoke. "I'm sick of the mind games." The fire demon levelled a glare at Koenma. "And if your dad tries anything funny, I swear..."

Koenma shook his head. "Dad wasn't trying to drive you guys crazy."

"Yeah. His fics were mild in comparison to some of these." Yuusuke sighed. "But we really don't have a choice up here. If we don't go into the theatre, Rando could just suck the oxygen out of the satellite."

Hiei looked like he wanted to say something, but held back. Kurama tightened his hold on him. "If it comes to that, I can give you something to knock you out. I'm not leaving you out here. We're not going to be separated." The fire demon leaned against him, turning his face so that it was hidden against Kurama's shirt.

"We've got a plan. We'll work on it tomorrow, after we've rested." Yuusuke smiled half-heartedly and looked at Koenma. "Let's go take that nap. Give them some privacy."

When they all had left, Kurama ran a hand through Hiei's hair. "Dragon..."

Hiei moved off of his lap, pulling the fox to lay next to him. "I'm not okay, Imp. I know you know that... What the clone said in the fic..." He didn't look at Kurama. "I used to feel that way. I wished I'd never been born... that the fall from the Glacier had killed me... that I'd died when I lost my hirui seki... that Yuusuke had killed me. I came so close to doing it so many times, but I was a coward..."

Kurama put an arm around Hiei. "I know. I know." He moved closer and rested his forehead against the side of Hiei's head. "I'm so glad that you're alive, Hiei."

The fire demon looked at him and smiled. "So am I, Imp. You... taught me what life was. I was alone until I met you."

The phrase rang familiar to Kurama's ears, and he puzzled over it for several seconds before remembering. He propped himself up on his elbow and cupped Hiei's cheek in his hand. "That's what you said to me that one day..."

Hiei nodded. "It's true. You took away my wish for death. They've been gone for a while."

"And that fic reminded you of them." Hiei nodded, though it wasn't a question. Kurama gathered him in his arms, holding him tightly. "I didn't realize..."

"You didn't know," Hiei said softly, his voice muffled a bit. "I haven't told you everything." He pulled away and looked at the fox seriously. "My soul is an ugly, broken thing to look at, Kurama."

Kurama shook his head. "I refuse to believe that. You're so beautiful..."

Hiei buried his face against Kurama. "How can you see that in me? It's not there."

"It *is*, Hiei!" The fox tilted Hiei's head up, catching him in a brief kiss. "You went through hell to get to the Koorime, and then refused to take revenge. When you found out about Yukina, you endured all that pain to get the Jagan so you could find her and protect her. You saved all of us at the Gate of Betrayal. You brought me to life, too. You are *not* an ugly person."

Hiei's eyes were misted by the time he had finished his short speech. "You have no idea how much I need you, Imp."

"And I you." Kurama kissed him, and this time they lingered, the kiss morphing into a gentle passion.

They slowly disrobed each other, their actions punctuated by caresses of hand, lips, and tongue. But when they had finally stripped each other, Kurama could not help but notice that Hiei was not aroused. The fire demon turned away as the fox frowned. "I'm sorry."

Kurama's own arousal disappeared, replaced with anguish and embarrassment for his partner. "No. Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

Hiei didn't answer for nearly half a minute. "It's not yours."

"Neither of us are at fault." He pulled Hiei against him. "We need to get home. It's this place. It's Rando, and the Meikai..."

Hiei leaned his head against Kurama's chest, relaxing. "I know," he whispered. "But what are the chances of us getting out of here?"

Kurama shook his head. "I don't know, but we're not going to give up." He kissed Hiei's forehead. "I don't want you to be like this. You're hurting."

Hiei sighed, his breath grazing Kurama's skin. "And that's hurting you. I hate this, Imp. I hate being trapped here..." He trailed off, his ear still against the fox's chest. Kurama realized that he was listening to his heartbeat and smiled slightly.

"We'll get out of here. Just have faith in that, and things will be okay." He pulled the blankets over them, enjoying the feeling of the clean sheets against his skin. "Rest, my love." He gently ran a soothing hand down Hiei's back as the sanjiyan fell asleep, but it was a long time before he was able to fall into dreams himself.

*

Rando smirked as he listened to the Tantei leave the theatre. He had them where he wanted them. He'd found their weaknesses, though he hadn't expected them to take strength from one another the way they were. It appeared that Kurama was the one he would have to break first, and the rest would fall easily. He turned to Giaki, who was watching him silently. "Find a mild fanfic. Perhaps one with spelling errors and amusement. Something that will make them believe that this was a fluke."

Giaki smiled. "We'll catch them off-guard?"

Rando laughed. "Find that fic, and then we'll find a special one for Kurama." Giaki giggled and scampered off toward the computer. "They will fall, one by one..."

----
Everyone’s seen Return of the King by this time, correct? Well, this: "Neither of us are at fault." He pulled Hiei against him. "We need to get home. It's this place. It's Rando, and the Meikai..." was an unconscious Sam/Frodo reference. We didn’t notice until later. Ah well.