Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Enma's Torment Theatre ❯ The Pledge of Immortality ( Chapter 30 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Enma’s Torment Theatre: Season Two
Episode Thirty: The Pledge of Immortality
Story: Wedding Nights (chapter one only)
Story by: DeEP-Kris
MSTed by: Rose Thorne and Chrissy Sky

Rose Thorne gave me the idea for the beginning (even though it’s not quite what she wanted originally). Kaylbunny gave me the idea for the ending (some time ago in fact, the last few chapters have been leading to this). I am nothing more than a sponge to these fine ladies. I haven’t had an original thought in a year. And it was something like, “OMFG, Severus Snape/Heero Yuy would be HOT!”

That says something not too nice about how my brain works…

Oh, and any resemblance that the dart-throwing demon has to Chin Yisou from Saiyuki is completely unintentional… mostly.

Ah, and special thanks to Kaylbunny, who’s recently become my secretary. Of sorts.

- Ningenkai -

Yuusuke didn’t wait for the dust to settle as he began his next barrage. These opponents were tough--a real challenge for once, like old times. After so long taking on only wimps and badly written fan fiction, a real fight was something he took to with eagerness. The demon he fought had a style similar to his own; using his fists with his youki. Yuusuke grinned fiercely and met the demon (who’s name Koenma had told him earlier but now he no longer remembered) head-on.

Koenma had seemed nervous about giving them this assignment, but Yuusuke was glad he did, though he understood how his boyfriend felt. Were their situations reversed, he’d be worried about Koenma too.

Kuwabara was going up against a demon as tall as him with an exceptional kekkai barrier that effectively blocked his Rei ken. The guy kept hitting on him too, which distracted the teen to no end.

“Come on, baby, is that all you got?” said the demon.

“I’ll show you!!” said the blushing and furious teen.

And so on.

Yuusuke was trying not to fall over himself laughing. Which was easy, since he was supposed to be focusing on his own opponent, he thought as he ducked the guy’s fist, his own swinging into the demon’s gut. The demon quickly recovered and jumped back away from him, rebounding swiftly.

Out of the corner of his eye there’s a flash of red hair--Kurama and Hiei have teamed up against a particularly fast demon that seemed to be throwing some sort of weird darts. He kept cackling whenever Hiei missed a swipe with his katana.

Lina and Zelgadis were likewise working together against the rest of the horde. Xellos was no where in sight, though he couldn’t have been far away. The Trickster Priest *had* followed them there after all.

Xellos *was* nearby in fact, in the treetops, sitting on a branch cross-legged and staring avidly at the chaos taking place below him. He was the type of being that appreciated watching a good fight--but fighting *himself* was something he did only when absolutely necessary. Which wasn’t very often these days as it had been in the beginning of his life, he thought to himself, keeping his eyes on the blue-skinned Chimera. Zelgadis used his blade and an generous chunk of shamanism spells. It was interesting to see how their magic worked on the demons in this world--where the Ra Tilt would have worked nicely to eliminate lesser demons in their own world, in this one it simply weakened their spirits, slowing them down. On the other hand, elemental spells such as Bomb Sprid, Fireball, Flare Arrow still burned up their targets. If he were any sort of scholar--which he wasn’t, that was more Zelgadis’ territory--he would find the subject terribly intriguing to study.

Eyes scanning over the rest of the group, he noticed something rather interesting about the fighter Kurama and Hiei were against. It was almost as if Hiei were inconsequential all the sudden, something that was normally terribly moronic--the demon’s attention seemed to be focused instead on Kurama alone. The cackling demon pulled out a new set of darts and thrust them at the redhead. Kurama, naturally, dodged--and didn’t notice that the demon had more darts in his other hand. His momentum kept him from doing more than stopping where he was in panic at the change in strategy.

Hmm. He’d thought the redhead was smarter than that, being nearly as old as Xellos himself was… Perhaps he was getting rusty then?

“Kurama!” Hiei cried and zipped quickly over to push the fox spirit out of harms way--thus putting himself in danger. In the heat of the moment, that went neglected. Together, they fell to the ground in a heap of limbs.

Kurama hit his head hard against the rocky ground, but got it together quickly as he heard Hiei gasp softly. He looked down at his diminutive lover and saw the problem--embedded in the back of his right thigh were slender, almost porcupine-like needles. “Hiei?”

The fire demon’s face was already going pale. “Poison.” He could tell. It was fast working, his arms and legs were already feeling heavy. He raised his head to look at Kurama’s suddenly terrified expression. Also, he saw the dart-throwing demon approaching from behind the distracted redhead. “Look ou--!”

Kurama turned as quickly as Hiei’s eyes had widened, rose whip lashing out, though he knew that as soon as he’d moved he’d be as good as dead. It was instinct. What he hadn’t expected was something suddenly blocking his vision. He blinked, and in the next second realized what--who--it was.

Zelgadis had noticed the lovers’ predicament and had raced to help, using himself as a human shield. The darts bounced painlessly off his stone back. The Chimera smirked and drew his sword. “Now you’ll be fighting with me,” he told the demon, who no longer looked so happy.

The demon’s eyes narrowed, then smirked again. “You’re nothing but a human. A funny looking one at that.”

Zelgadis snarled and swung with his sword, the demon dodging and coming from a different angle. The young shaman kept himself between his opponent and two on the ground. Kurama rose slowly, reluctantly leaving Hiei's side. The poison was working quickly, and the fire demon was shuddering, his eyes clenched shut. He hoped that, while Zelgadis kept the guy distracted, he could sneak up on him and steal the pouch from his belt, when--

“That’s enough of that, I think,” said a voice that should not have been so devoid of humor. Xellos suddenly appeared behind the demon, his staff placed under his chin to hold him in place.

“What--” The demon tried to look at Xellos, but felt enough of his presence to fill his soul with terror. “What the hell are you?!”

Xellos smirked. “I am beyond your meager mind’s comprehension. BLAST BOMB.”

Suddenly, all of the rouge demons--except for the one in Xellos’ secure hold--caught fire. They cried out, screamed and writhed on the ground, before falling with sick thuds onto the ground. The last one looked a far cry from how confident he had been.

“Now,” Xellos said, voice once again returning to his natural cheerfulness, which seemed almost as bad as the dark tone, “Zelgadis? Would you be a dear and fetch the antidote that Hiei-san needs from this nasty thing’s belongings?”

Coming to himself, Zelgadis nodded and came forward, confident that Xellos would hold the guy still long enough for him to dive into the pouch and search through it. There were many little bottles inside, all of them in different color and density. “Which one?” he asked tersely, worried that they were running out of time. He could feel Kurama anxiously waiting behind him.

When the demon didn’t answer, Xellos tightened the hold on his throat. “You heard him. Which one is it then?”

“The--the green one!”

Zelgadis quickly pulled it out and tossed it to Kurama, who caught and uncorked it swiftly, practically forcing it down Hiei’s throat. Everyone sighed deeply when Hiei's shuddering slowly subsided and his breathing returned to normal--even Xellos, who smiled just a bit more widely.

“N-now you got what you wanted,” said the demon. “Take me to Reikai or whatever.”

“Ah, I think you misunderstand,” Xellos replied amiably. “I am not a Reikai Tantei. And I never said anything about letting you live.”

“Wha--?” But the demon got out no more. Xellos snapped his neck in a smooth motion, letting the body fall to the ground as if it were something particularly disgusting. All with that same smile. Zelgadis didn’t know whether to be amused or freaked out.

Yuusuke sauntered over, hands in the pockets of his stained jeans. “Man, Xellos, you spoiled all the fun for the rest of us! That guy was good--I wanted a fair fight!” he complained, but he was grinning himself, so it was obvious he wasn’t that peeved.

Xellos grinned and rubbed the back of his head. “Iya, sorry, Yuusuke-san! I took it for granted you were having fun.”

Yuusuke snorted.

“Are you alright?” Kurama asked Hiei worriedly.

Gingerly, Hiei sat up and pulled the darts roughly out of his leg. “Yeah.” He nearly cringed when Kurama’s expression clouded over.

“What were you *thinking?* I would have used my whip to block them!”

Hiei shrugged. “You might have missed one. You can’t be certain, Imp.” Besides, he hadn’t expected to get hit.

“You--you can’t just *do* things like that--what if you’d been pregnant?!”

Hiei gave the irate redhead a look. “I’m not.”

“Still--”

“Stop worrying and help me up.” He hated to admit it, but he wanted Kurama's help; he wasn't sure he could stand on his own just yet.

Kurama sighed and gave the other demon his hand to help him rise. “Fine,” he snapped. “Brush me off--”

“I’m not brushing you off,” Hiei responded calmly.

“Yes, you are!”

Hiei smiled. It had been a while since he’d seen the fox so worked up. “Kurama?”

“What?!”

“Calm down. I’m alright.”

Kurama abruptly stopped shouting, realizing he was right. It was too late to be upset--Hiei was there, very much alive, and so infuriatingly *not* bothered about almost dying. He sighed and smiled back. “Just, try not to do it again.”

Hiei chuckled. “Can’t promise that.”

“Dragon…”

Zelgadis stifled a laugh at the two squabbling lovers--he noticed that Yuusuke, Kuwabara, and Lina were pretty much in the same state. He turned around so he could share his amusement with Xellos as well--only to see a very dark look directed his way. He gulped. “Xellos?”

“Zelgadis,” was the even reply.

“Um… What’s wrong?”

Xellos stepped over the body at his feet as calmly as if he were walking over a fallen log. His voice was low so the others wouldn’t hear, but his eyes were open and Zelgadis steeled himself so he wouldn’t back away. “You did it again.”

“What?”

“Took yourself for granted.” He smiled. “Please don’t do it again.”

Zelgadis sighed. “Is that it? Xellos, my skin is *rock.* I knew I’d be alright.”

“I clearly remember Gaav breaking that oh-so-invulnerable skin open and your blood spilling all over the mountain.”

“You’re exaggerating--and you WERE watching!”

Xellos shrugged. “Yes, of course. I’d just left, I didn’t go very far.”

Zelgadis glared. “You fucking hypocrite! First you defend me--defend ALL of us--then confess that you left us to DIE on that mountain--!”

“I wouldn’t have been any help to you. I was dying.”

Zelgadis stilled. He watched the Mazoku carefully. “Really?”

Xellos nodded. “Why else would I have run?”

Thinking about that, Zelgadis realized it was true. Xellos was just as egotistical, sometimes even more so, than the rest of his race. “But still, you left to save your own hide.”

“He who runs away lives to fight another day,” Xellos quoted. “You yourself ran from Gaav.”

“*With* my friends.”

Xellos shook his head. “I wouldn’t have lived that long. I would not be here now, to argue with you about this, Zelgadis. I wouldn’t be around to hold, and kiss, and to worry over you. Who is really the hypocrite here?”

Zelgadis tried to stay angry--he really did--but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to think about his life without the crazy priest. “Alright. Sorry. But if I hadn’t, then Kurama would have been hurt. And last time I checked, his skin was a lot softer than mine.” He’d done it for a good reason, and that was one thing he wasn’t going to back down from.

Xellos nodded, eyes closing. “Dually noted.”

*

The house was quiet tonight, but not uncomfortably so. The bedroom lights were off, and dinner was laying beside the bed, half-eaten and clearly forgotten by the room’s two occupants.

Kurama laid half on top of his ‘husband,’ face tucked against Hiei’s neck, fingers leisurely stroking the fire demon’s chest. Though it had been hours ago, the day’s events played heavily on his thoughts. Hiei had drifted to sleep some time ago.

Times before, they had nearly died hundreds of times and always brushed it off. The Youko was puzzled as to why it troubled him so much now, if only because it was *his* Hiei that had been in peril, and it had been *his* fault. Yet, he would have done the same for Hiei, wouldn’t he? In an instant! How would Hiei have felt about that? Would he have been frustrated with Kurama too? Naturally.

Perhaps he was just feeling the weight of age finally, catching up to him like a vengeful hunter. Hiei *was* nearly half his age. Maybe it was time he called an early retirement, he thought jokingly. Rather, he probably just needed to relax. Since becoming involved with Hiei, they’d both been worried about what the future held in store for them, one usually telling the other to not fret over it, that whatever happened would happen. Today just hit Kurama hard. They had a future (mostly) planned out ahead of them, yet one small mistake and it would all be gone. That’s all it would take.

Once Hiei *was* with child, mistakes like today could not be afforded. Kurama couldn’t allow anything to happen to his family.

Family.

Smiling, he pulled Hiei a bit closer. Well, if that wasn’t an encouraging thought, he didn’t know what was.

Hiei stirred. “K’rama?”

“Shh. Go back to sleep.”

“Wha’s wrong?”

Kurama smiled at the slurred words. “Nothing. I just… feel old tonight.”

Hiei snorted, becoming more awake at the words. “Old?” he scoffed. “We’re going to have to do something about that…” He slid his hand beneath the covers, touching the redhead until he became hard.

Gasping, Kurama chuckled. “One-tracked mind…”

“Hardly.” Hiei paused. “Would you rather just talk about it?”

“You’re asking that *now*?”

They both laughed at that.

*

It was equally dark and quiet at the temple that evening as young Zelgadis slipped out of the bedding he was currently sharing with Xellos. The purple-haired Mazoku shifted slightly as the heavy weight beside him suddenly vacated its space. Zelgadis gently petted his hair until the other man slipped into deeper slumber (or so he hoped, he was still unsure if Mazoku slept at all). Then he sat back and watched the slumbering beast.

Xellos was wearing the most ridiculous pajamas he’d ever seen. Complete with little bunnies on them. Zelgadis had the feeling that Xellos did strange things--like this--just so he would laugh.

Which was rather nice, when he thought about it like that.

Rubbing the priest’s head one final time, he stood and walked over to the dresser. From one drawer he pulled out a small notebook he’d asked Yukina to purchase for him. Writing down things sometimes helped him think, which was what he was trying to do now. It was nearly empty except for about the middle, where Zelgadis had been accumulating a rather pathetically small list. There were only three things listed. The first two were crossed out:

1.) Becoming Mazoku.

2.) X. becoming Human.

And the last idea, not crossed out:

3.) Immortality.

Zelgadis chewed on the end of the blue ink pen, staring at that one word that had caused much hysteria in his world. Every magic novice was told this story at some point or another, to caution against it. Once there was a king who wanted more than anything to be immortal. So he offered a very significant reward for anyone who could discover it.

The catch was that, the only way to see whether your attempt actually worked, was to die. If you didn’t die, you were successful.

There were, naturally, no successful attempts.

At least, none known. The king in the story had been killed at the end of it all, while in his reign his ambition had corrupted his country, causing a civil war to break out.

Zelgadis wasn’t an idiot. Immortality experiments were strictly outlawed, and for very good reasons. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it right. Yet he had no books in order to research it here in this world. Yes, the internet had been helpful up to a point. But the search for immortality had been less bloody, mostly, than in his world. It was nothing but a myth here.

The only ones here who lived for that long were gods and Youkai; and even Youkai died eventually, whether from old age or (far more likely) murder.

Zelgadis remembered his grandfather had once told him, in the days when he had still respected and admired the man, that death was not meant to be feared. It was just another part of life.

Looking back on Rezo now, Zelgadis could only swallow back bile. So said the man who gave up his very soul just so he could gain his eyes.

All *he* wanted was to lengthen his lifespan so that Xellos wouldn’t mourn him. Sure, it was just as dangerous and forbidden, but it wasn’t being selfish!

It had taken him a lot of thought to reach this point in his notes. Mostly he wondered whether he was ready or not for such a huge step in their relationship. Zelgadis immediately, and frighteningly enough, realized he was. He wanted a commitment with Xellos. This was the way to prove that. He would keep his Mazoku lover from fearing his death.

But back to the problem at hand; with lack of proper research materials, there was only really one option.

Who did he knew that was an (almost) literal fountain of magical knowledge?

Lina Inverse, of course.

Zelgadis glanced at Xellos--who appeared to still be sleeping--before he slipped the notepad and pen in his pocket and left the room.

He found Lina’s bedroom unlocked, the sorceress in question laying with her arms and legs flung out, mouth open as she snored softly. The tank top she wore only barely covered her bosom and Zelgadis pointedly didn’t look in that direction, blushing.

Lina was a sound sleeper. But just in case, he quietly cast a Sleeping spell to keep her that way. His friend only turned over onto her side, facing him, a strand of long hair falling in her mouth. Zelgadis pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down, retrieving his notes.

“Lina?”

“Nngh.”

Zelgadis smiled. This was so stupid it had to work. “I need you to tell me everything you know about Immortality research,” he whispered.

“Urmph… Immort…”

“That’s right,” he encouraged. “Do you remember anything you read on Immortality?”

“Brrmgh… Stupid Halcyform…”

“Halcyform?” The name registered, but it took a while for realization to kick in. When it did, he stared thunderstruck down at the sleeping girl.

Of course! How could he be so stupid?!

Leaving the room, he began scribbling on his notepad. He added a dash and one word.

3.) Immortality. - Pledge.

Then he circled it confidently. Yes, now he had a plan! The hopelessness that had been verging to erupt quickly vanished and he grinned in the darkness as he walked back to his room. He was so relieved he thought he could skip down the hallway! As soon as he walked inside though, and saw that Xellos was indeed still resting, he lost his nerve.

Later, he cautioned himself. Later would be better. When they were both awake and he could explain the idea properly to Xellos.

Zelgadis hid his notes once more and returned to the futon, pulling the purple-haired being into a loose embrace, easily falling asleep.

*

Yuusuke and Koenma waited together for the others to arrive for the MST that Enma wanted them to do. The teen had told Koenma what had happened the day before--needlessly, as Koenma had seen everything through a handy Reikai device. He was equally worried, privately relieved that, as Kurama had said, Hiei was not with child and there was therefore less risk. He felt more tied up in the lives of his Tantei than ever before. They were no longer simply Tantei to him; they were his friends.

Kuwabara showed up with Lina, Zelgadis, and Xellos first. Lina glanced around. "They're not here yet?"

Yuusuke shook his head. "Not yet."

"Do you think there's a problem?" Lina sounded as worried as everyone else. It was astounding how easily the three Slayers fit into the group of friends.

Yuusuke shrugged. "We got the antidote, right? I'm sure they're just having a quickie or something."

Behind them a throat cleared, and Yuusuke turned to find Kurama and Hiei staring at him. He giggled nervously. Kurama smirked. "I daresay he knows us too well, Dragon."

"We'll have to take care of that." Hiei smirked too.

Lina grinned. "You're okay, then?"

Hiei blinked and nodded, seemingly surprised by her concern. "I'm fine."

Botan ran around a corner, skidding to a halt just before she would have collided painfully with Zelgadis. "I'm sorry, Koenma-sama. Your father wants the MST to be started right away."

Koenma rolled his eyes. "Right, Botan. We'll get in the theatre..."

- Theatre -
[from left to right: Kuwabara, Koenma, Yuusuke, Hiei, Kurama, Zelgadis, Xellos, and Lina]

Lina: So I'm seriously the only girl that's ever been in here?
Yuusuke: Yeah... That's rather sexist of Enma, you know.
Kurama: We might convince him to let Botan in on this.
Yuusuke: That'd be cool.
Botan's voice: Gee, thanks.
Hiei: [mock-sweetly] You're welcome.
Yuusuke: It'd be fun, Botan!
Botan's voice: [whimpers]
Koenma: Don't worry, Botan. You have enough work as it is.
Botan's voice: Thanks, Koenma-sama!
Hiei: [snorts] Old softy.
Koenma: She's the head ferry-girl. She's almost as overworked as I am.
Yuusuke: Aww... Yeah, I took that for granted.
Koenma: [smiles] I used to.
Yuusuke: [grins, kisses his cheek]
Botan's voice: Though, if I *was* in there, I'd get to tease you about how cute you are. [giggles]
Koenma: Don't tempt Dad.
Botan's voice: Eep. I know.

>The Weddings Night part 1

Zelgadis: As in, more than *one* wedding?
Lina: I'm more worried about the fact there's more than one part...
Hiei: I really hope this is another Slayers fic. No offense.
Lina: None taken.
Xellos: Maybe you and Gourry-san are getting married, Lina-san!
Lina: [blushes, then smirks] Or maybe it's you and Zel.
Koenma: Or both.
Lina: Eh?
Zelgadis: [points] Plural.
Lina: Oh yeah...
Hiei: [drawls] Somehow I doubt it's that nice. If it was, we wouldn't be reading it.
Kurama: That's usually how it works out, true.
Lina: Thanks for the reassurance.
Yuusuke: Maybe it's another Kuwabara/Hiei fic...
Kuwa: [glares] Or maybe it's a Kurama/Yuusuke fic.
Hiei: [annoyed] You both want to get hit, don't you?
Kuwa: Bring it, Shor-- [Koenma elbows him] Ow!
Yuusuke: No, sir! Sorry, sir!
Kurama: [amused] It could also be a pairing we haven't had yet. Yuusuke/Hiei or something...
Hiei: [raises an eyebrow] We did have one of those.
Kurama: Hm?
Hiei: The me-clone had tried to kill himself...
Kurama: [winces] There was probably a reason I forgot about that one...
Hiei: [kisses him] Sorry.
Yuusuke: There was also the one where Kurama got hit by a car-- [Hiei kicks him] Ow!
Kurama: [pulls Hiei into his lap]
Hiei: [pets Kurama's hair]

>Filia ended cleaning her kitchen.

Lina: Well, sorry to end the love fest, but it's definitely one of ours.
Xellos: [his eye begins twitching uncontrollably]
Hiei: This could be amusing. There's already a hint of who could be getting married.
Xellos: [quietly] Please no... Not the Ryuzoku. Anyone but the Ryuzoku...
Hiei: [snickers]
Zelgadis: It's just a fic, Xellos.
Xellos: It's making me feel... dirty.
Hiei: [smirks] Sounds kinky.
Xellos: [eye twitches some more]
Kurama: [giggles, kisses Hiei] Dragon, stop teasing the Mazoku.
Hiei: But he's making it so easy...
Xellos: [glares at Hiei]
Hiei: [smiles shamelessly]
Zelgadis: You know, this could be karma, Xellos.
Xellos: [blinks at him] How so?
Zelgadis: [grins] We finally met people who could tease *you.*
Xellos: [stares at him for a moment and smiles] You're right, Zelgadis-san!
Zelgadis: [blushes] I said you didn't have to use -san anymore, either...
Xellos: [nods] Hai, Zelgadis.
Zelgadis: [smiles]

>It was so clear that she saw her mirror image in every tile in her kitchen floor.

Lina: Actually, I can see Filia doing that...
Zelgadis: That only makes it more disturbing.
Xellos: Agreed.
Hiei: You find everything about Filia disturbing, Xellos, so that's not surprising.
Xellos: [twitches again]
Lina: Filia was the first person I ever saw make him lose his cool. It's funny--his eye starts twitching and his voice screeches.
Yuusuke: [giggles] That's actually pretty funny.
Lina: Yeah!
Xellos: Lina-san...
Lina: What? It's true.
Hiei: Definitely. A Mazoku losing his cool is hysterical.
Xellos: Except for the Mazoku in question.
Hiei: That's half the fun.
Xellos: [twitches]
Hiei: [snickers] Sadism is amusing.
Zelgadis: [pats Xel] Don't let it bother you. It's not like she's here.
Xellos: [cheers up] True.
Zelgadis: [chuckles] Good boy.
Yuusuke: Already into role-playing, eh?
Zelgadis: ... Isn't that a game?
Xellos: [grins way too widely] You could say that.
Lina: [giggles]
Zelgadis: I'm missing something again, aren't I?
Yuusuke: I'm sure Xel will be happy to explain it.
Zelgadis: Much too happy if you ask me...
Xellos: [giggles]
Yuusuke: [grins] That's the point.

>Jilias was standing near her and also proudly looking at himself. He was wearing a smart suit and white gloves on his hands.

Yuusuke: Smart? What, did it do tricks?
Lina: Jilias is a fox wearing a monkey suit. I think that's the trick.
Kurama: That's a disturbing image.
Xellos: I can think of things more disturbing than that!
Zelgadis: Don't share. Please.
Kurama: Seconded.

>“How do I look, boss?” he asked.

Koenma: [Filia] Like you're ready to start your life as an usher.
Yuusuke: [snickers]

>“Very good, Jilias. But could you tell me why you dress so formal?

Kurama: [Filia] And why I talk so funny?
Hiei: She sounds like a wanna-be pimp.
Xellos: [snickers] That would explain why she wanted to raise Valgaav...
Lina: Ew, Xellos. Ew.
Hiei: She'd be good at that job.

>Sorry for sticking my nose in it, but I saw you have already bought nice flowers and booked a table in first-class restaurant. Did something happen?”
>“Well, it will happen! Boss, I’m going to ask mum of Paul to marry me!”

Lina: Uh... What now?
Kurama: I don't speak idiot, so translation is impossible.
Yuusuke: He's going to ask Paul's mom to marry him.
Kuwa: [snickers] Yuusuke can translate it just fine!
Hiei: [thoughtfully] And here I was holding back asking you, Kuwabara.
Kuwa: What?!
Koenma: [softly] Defused that pretty well...
Yuusuke: Says you. [grumbles]
Hiei: [shrugs] I was trying to be polite.
Kurama: [kisses Hiei's cheek, smiling]
Hiei: [grins]

>“Oh, that’s nice! I hope she won’t reject you. You are so kind and such a good person!”

Lina: You know, for a man-fox who likes to make bombs.
Kuwa: Makes me think of Karasu.
Kurama: [shivers]
Hiei: [glares at Kuwabara, angrily enough to blister paint] He's dead, Kurama.
Kurama: [smiles weakly] I know.
Hiei: [kisses him]
Kurama: [holds him closer] I'm alright... It's just not a time I remember fondly, that's all.
Hiei: [rests his head on Kurama's shoulder] I know.

>“She won’t” Jilias smiled “In that night she won’t!”
>“That night?” Filia didn’t understand.

Kurama: Don't worry, Filia-san, neither do we.
Hiei: [snorts]

>“Well, don’t you know that Wedding Night is coming?”

Yuusuke: [Filia] Is that a new reality show?
Koenma: [groans] Why are humans so fascinated with that dribble?
Yuusuke: Everyone's secretly closet masochists?
Xellos: [cheerfully] Sadists perhaps, but not masochists.
Zelgadis: Don't tell me you watch that stuff...
Xellos: [amused] I'm certainly not a masochist, Zelgadis.
Zelgadis: [blushes] That's not what I meant...
Xellos: [leans closer] Oh? What did you mean?
Zelgadis: [gulps] Er...
Xellos: [opens his eyes] Watching humans make such fools of themselves is rather amusing sometimes. I suppose it lures sadists as well.
Zelgadis: [blushes more] Suppose so.
Xellos: You were saying, Zelgadis?
Zelgadis: Nothing.
Xellos: [cheerfully] Okay.

>Yes, of course! She forgot about it! There is a one night in every century in which when the man ask girl to marry him, she couldn’t refuse.

Koenma: Which would be both rape and pedophilia.
Kurama: Learn grammar. I don't even want to point out the numerous mistakes in this thing.
Hiei: Can't blame you. [shifts]
Kurama: [gasps, nips Hiei's neck] Dragon.
Hiei: [grins shamelessly] Had to get your mind off the bad grammar.
Kurama: My mind is currently in the gutter.
Hiei: See? It's in a far better place.
Kurama: [grins] Too bad we're in public.
Hiei: I know. [kisses him]

>It was called The Wedding Night and every single woman was waiting for it.

Lina: For centuries. Uh huh.
Hiei: Bet they hide in terror.

>Filia was single, but she wasn’t so fanatic in looking for a husband. Well, she was happy of being alone, just with Jilias, Gravos and small Valgaav.

Lina: She was just waiting for small Valgaav to be big Valgaav again.
Zelgadis: Okay, I really didn't need that mental image.
Lina: [snickers] Sorry.
Zelgadis: [rolls his eyes] You and your perverted mind...
Xellos: Should we warn Gourry-san?
Zelgadis: He already knows how deviant she is...
Lina: [smacks both of them across the room] SHUT UP!
Yuusuke: Aww, how cute. They went together...
Zelgadis: [winces] Well, another hour to be spent on my hair...
Xellos: [helps him up] My poor Zelgadis...
Yuusuke: Yeah, Zel didn't even get to see up your skirt this time.
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Xellos: [bonks Yuusuke with his staff]
Yuusuke: Hey!
Hiei: You deserved it.
Yuusuke: I know, I know...
Xellos: [is already fixing Zel's hair] La la la...

>“However, I wish you good luck!” she smiled to him.

Hiei: If that Wedding Night shit is true, I doubt he'll need it.
Kurama: The entire idea is sickening.
Hiei: Agreed.

>He smiled back and went back to his work with potteries. Filia looked at herself. What did she have to do? Did she have to hide so that no one could force her to marry him?

Xellos: I doubt anyone would ask, Filia-san.
Zelgadis: [chuckles]
Yuusuke: You really don't like her, do you?
Xellos: No, I don't.
Lina: It's a racial thing.
Zelgadis: She's also annoying.
Xellos: [beams] Thank you, Zelgadis-san.
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Xellos: [licks Zel's ear while still fiddling with his hair]
Zelgadis: [moves his head, startled]
Xellos: [blinks] Off bounds?
Zelgadis: [blushes] Er...
Xellos: [pokes Zel's ear] They're so cute though.
Zelgadis: [blushes deeper]
Xellos: You're cute when you blush too!
Zelgadis: Xel...
Xellos: [smiles] Sorry. It's true though.
Zelgadis: [smiles slightly, softly] Thanks...
Xellos: [kisses his cheek quickly] You're welcome.

>Well, Filia wasn’t so popular here and she wasn’t attractive for local bachelors at all.

Xellos: Or to any man, really.
Yuusuke: Wow, I think we're bashing Filia more than we do George Lucas.
Zelgadis: Who?
Xellos: Remember those Star Wars movies Yuusuke-san made you watch? He made them.
Zelgadis: Oh. There's a reason to bash him, then.
Xellos: [giggles]

>In that condition she didn’t have to be afraid of having not–welcome-husband. Yes, she would be single, like a spinster.

Kurama: With cats.
Hiei: Until Valgaav grows up...
Lina: Eek.
Zelgadis: Again, the thought squicks.

>She sighted and straighten her back.

Yuusuke: Sighted what?
Kurama: [sighs, rubs head] Proofread. Please.
Hiei: [shifts again]
Kurama: [gasps]
Xellos: [giggles] My, they're so energetic!
Hiei: [smiles] Don't pay attention to the fic, Kurama.
Kurama: [kisses him deeply] You keep doing that, and it'll be the least of my worries.
Hiei: [grins] Good.

>“Hello Filia my dear!” suddenly she heard.

Yuusuke: Oh... no.
Koenma: Yuu-chan?
Yuusuke: [glances at Xellos uncomfortably] I just remembered. The Slayers dub was not kind to a certain someone sitting in here...
Zelgadis: [sees where Yuusuke is looking] Uh-oh...
Lina: What? I don't get it...
Xellos: That will probably be revealed to us in time, Lina-san.
Yuusuke: [quietly] I'm scared...
Koenma: [same] Uh, probably with good reason...

>She jumped and look around. Behind her there was Xellos sitting cheerfully in the air.

Xellos: [voice screeches] My DEAR!?
Zelgadis: Eep.
Yuusuke: Where's a bomb shelter when you need one?
Koenma: [shakes his head]
Xellos: [takes a few deep breaths to calm down]
Zelgadis: [watches, a bit worried]
Xellos: [smiles weakly] Don't fret, Zelgadis. You're my one and only dear! [hugs him]
Zelgadis: [blinks, smiles]
Xellos: [quietly] Sorry I worried you.
Zelgadis: [same] It's okay. It was bound to happen, with that provocation.
Xellos: [smiles wider]
Zelgadis: [blushes slightly]

>He had his eyes closed and had very pleasant smile. What was he up to?

Lina: At the moment? Cuddling Zel.
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Xellos: He's so cuddly!
Zelgadis: [embarrassed] Not really.
Xellos: [pouts] *I* think you are.
Zelgadis: [blushes again] I'm made of *rock*, Xellos. Rock isn't exactly cuddly...
Xellos: [holds him tighter] Fine. Don't listen to me.
Zelgadis: [blinks] Er...
Xellos: Hmm?
Zelgadis: I'm listening. I'm just disagreeing...
Xellos: [giggles] Remember when I said I like you just the way you are? That applies to stone skin as well.
Zelgadis: [blushes] I know. I'm just saying that stone isn't cuddly.
Xellos: [kisses his neck] Yes, Zel-dear.
Zelgadis: [gives up, relaxes]

>“WHAT ARE YOU NAMAGONI DOING IN MY KITCHEN?”

Xellos: [twitches, hides his face on Zel's shoulder] Stupid golden dragon...
Hiei: What's with the yelling?
Lina: Well, she does that with Xellos...
Hiei: Is there a point to it? You know, beyond the, "I'm supposed to hate Mazoku" crap?
Lina: He annoys her just as much as he annoys him... So, no, not really.
Zelgadis: And the term is "namagomi" last time I checked.
Kuwa: What's namagomi mean?
Zelgadis: Rotten garbage.
Hiei: How racist.
Zelgadis: [nods] I never went that far, at least...
Xellos: [smiles] I'm glad.

>“Oh, how rude, my dear Filia! Old friend has come and you are greeting him like that!”

Xellos: [himself] Yes, Old Friend will be very hurt when he hears you've slung racist stereotypes!
Kurama: [as Xellos] Old friend will start talking like bad Chinese dub.
Yuusuke: Or like Shampoo. One or the other.
Hiei: There's a difference?
Yuusuke: [snickers] No, not really.
Zelgadis: I'm wondering if this author is a native English speaker...
Kurama: Ditto.
Kuwa: Why diss her, then?
Koenma: [sighs] This is why I try to warn against author riffing...
Yuusuke: We've never listened before though.
Koenma: True...

>“You are not my friend! You hate me and I hate you too!”

Yuusuke: It's a big old hate fest!
Hiei: You know what they say about that fine line between love and hate...
Xellos: [twitch]
Zelgadis: [eyes widen] I really hope that doesn't mean what I think it means...
Lina: I think it does...
Zelgadis: That's bad.
Lina: Very bad. Let's build a fort.
Hiei: [giggles]
Xellos: [weak smile] I *do* know how to take teasing, you know...
Zelgadis: I know, but this isn't exactly teasing. It's character misrepresentation...
Xellos: [kisses his cheek] Ah well.

>“Well, maybe in the past.”
>The dragon looked at him suspiciously. In the past?

Lina: Well, one of the reasons she hates him is because he killed so many golden dragons back in the war a thousand years ago. That's in the past!
Zelgadis: Yeah, but she was talking specifically about her and him...
Xellos: [smiles widely] Ah yes. I remember that...
Zelgadis: [blinks] Which part?
Xellos: Oh, the part about me killing most of their race.
Lina: You sound so cheerful about that too...
Hiei: If they're all like Filia, I can't blame him...
Xellos: [smiles brightly] Thank you, Hiei-san!
Koenma: [annoyed] Encouraging mass genocide on account of one example is a form of racism, you know.
Xellos: Iya...
Kurama: It was a war, Koenma. Warriors killing warriors.
Lina: And the Ryuzoku won anyway. They put up a barrier to trap the Mazoku, forsaking their own people and the humans left inside.
Hiei: Besides, it was a tongue-in-cheek comment and not meant to be taken seriously.
Koenma: Alright, alright! You don't need to gang up on me.
Yuusuke: [pats his shoulder]
Kurama: Koenma, we weren't ganging up on you. We were just disagreeing and explaining.
Koenma: [smiles] Well, I suppose it's normal for friends to have discussions.
Yuusuke: Duh. [puts an arm around him]

>“But after these years I realised that it is bad to have enemies.

Xellos: But fun!
Zelgadis: [snickers]

>That’s why I’m here. I want to say sorry for all nasty things which I have done to you. And here is present for you.”

Xellos: [himself] My mangled personality! Here, I don't want it.
Hiei: [as Xellos] Not using it in this fic anyway.
Xellos: [giggles]
Lina: Wouldn't admiting you've done wrong and apologizing actually hurt a Mazoku?
Xellos: Hmm... Yes. Unless I was lying.
Hiei: That theory has made me more interested in the fic somehow.
Kurama: [giggles]
Yuusuke: Okay, all the theories are confusing. Let's just read the fic.

>Behind his back he took out beautiful bunch of red roses. Filia hardly believed her eyes. Roses where real and they smell nice. She carefully took them from him. They didn’t change into monster or other ugly things. Xellos was still smiling.

Lina: Then he's still up to something!
Xellos: [smiles at her]
Zelgadis: I really doubt Filia would even take the flowers.
Xellos: [cheerfully] Maybe to hit me with.
Zelgadis: Wouldn't those thorns hurt?
Xellos: Oh, yes. But I doubt the real Filia would care about that part.
Zelgadis: But you wouldn't give her roses in that case because you're not a masochist. You'd give her something less harmful.
Xellos: [nods] Indeed. I'd give her something much less harmful to me...
Hiei: So it's OOC. Nothing new.
Xellos: If I did give her roses, they would have exploded on contact! [blinks] That's not a bad idea...
Lina: Oi. She might be annoying, but she's still our friend.
Xellos: [smiles sheepishly] Ah, sorry, Lina-san.
Hiei: [snickers]

>“How did you like it?” he asked.
>“It’s beautiful! Thank you, Xellos! Now I see you decided to be good.”

Xellos: [himself] Yes! And Lina-san's decided to give up bandit killing completely!
Lina: I haven't done that in ages...
Zelgadis: We should do that sometime.
Lina: [snickers]

>“Yes, I am!”
>“We can be friends from now on. If you have any problem, please tell me and we will try to solve it together. That’s how friends do.”

Lina: [Filia] Yeah, and all those insults about my heritage and gods are instantly forgotten!
Hiei: [Xellos] And we'll pretend you didn't just call me garbage a few minutes ago. All because I gave you flowers.
Kurama: I feel oddly sorry for roses.
Hiei: [giggles]
Kurama: I mean, they could have gone to so much better use...
Hiei: [leers] Definitely.
Kurama: [leers back]
Yuusuke: [to Koenma] I thought they weren't into BDSM...
Koenma: [shrugs] Maybe they got bored and decided to experiment.
Hiei: [growls] Mind your own business.
Kurama: [licks Hiei's neck] Ignore them.
Hiei: [kisses him]

>“Yes my little friend.” Xellos decided to sit normally on the chair. “How I sad before, after these all years I became quite old. Don’t deny, Filia, I feel it in my heart. Yes, I AM old.”

Xellos: [falls off the couch]
Yuusuke: [throws back his head and laughs]
Zelgadis: [snorts] Yeah, that would NOT happen.
Lina: This reminds me of when Gourry told Xellos, "You're a really old guy!" [snickers]
Zelgadis: You always think about Gourry.
Lina: [blushes] So what? I miss the big lug. Wouldn't you miss Xellos?
Zelgadis: Yes.
Xellos: [sits back down, adjusting his robes] Well. This has certainly been an interesting week, hasn't it?
Zelgadis: [blushes] Quite.
Lina: Don't worry, Xellos. We all think you look damn good for your age.
Xellos: [sweatdrops] Er. Thank you, Lina-san.

>Filia didn’t understand why he was sharing with her his depressing thoughts. But she was patient, maybe he would explain that.

Zelgadis: Yes, because he's always been an open, emotional person.
Yuusuke: Filia is really naive in this fic.
Hiei: And Xellos lost his 'evil genki' somewhere.
Kurama: How we'll miss it.
Xellos: [smiles] Really, Kurama-san?
Kurama: Yes. You're clone is annoying, Xellos-san.
Hiei: Evil Xellos is much more amusing. And I'm sure Zel thinks he's sexier, too.
Zelgadis: [blushes furiously]
Xellos: [amused] Oh? Does he?
Hiei: Take the blushing to mean "Yes." It might be a useful piece of advice later on.
Xellos: [giggles] I like to hear him say it though...
Hiei: [shrugs] It'll probably come out as shrieks of ecstacy.
Xellos: Oooh. I like that.
Zelgadis: [still blushing] Stop.
Xellos: [pouts cutely] Though he's not quite ready for that step yet.
Hiei: [grins] He will be.
Xellos: [giggles] I know.
Zelgadis: [hides his face] Stop it.
Xellos: Iya... [hugs him] Zelgadis is so cute when he's shy!
Zelgadis: [sighs]

>“But not so old.” He lifted his finger and open one eye.

Lina: [Xellos] I can still do this weird winking thing to let everyone know I'm up to something!
Yuusuke: [giggles nervously] He's going to say something about not being too old to marry, isn't he?
Xellos: I'm not! I can get married!
Hiei: To Filia?
Xellos: No. Definitely no.
Kurama: You realize that's probably what the fic's about, right?
Xellos: [twitch] Yes, I realize this. However, the point is I *can* marry. Not that I believe in it...
Zelgadis: [snorts] He's more worried about the age comment than anything.
Lina: [giggles]
Lina: [giggles] Don't worry, Xellos. Zel likes older men.
Zelgadis: [blushes] No, just the one.
Lina: [snickers]
Xellos: [happily hugs Zel again]
Zelgadis: [smiles]

>“I’m old enough to give up work, settle somewhere and teach young Mazokus how to be as I was. Yes, I’m ready to do it. I’m ready to have children!”

Yuusuke: [starts laughing]
Xellos: [coughs delicately]
Yuusuke: [laughs harder]
Lina: I'm, for one, frightened of the thought of little Xelloses scampering around.
Yuusuke: [falls over laughing]
Lina: All of them screaming, "Sore wa himistu desu!" and trying to kill baby Valgaav...
Yuusuke: [laughs helplessly against Koenma]
Koenma: [giggles, holds him close]
Xellos: [sweatdrops] It's really not that funny...
Zelgadis: Besides, if he really wanted children, all he'd have to do is turn into a woman. Not that Mazoku even *have* children.
Hiei: Does he even have to turn into a woman?
Xellos: [thoughtfully] Well, that'd be interesting, to say the least...
Hiei: [grins]
Xellos: But, I'm not exactly the type of person that should be allowed around children. [shrugs]
Lina: Because you'd spoil them rotten and turn them evil?
Xellos: [smiles] Yes, exactly! Though I doubt that Zelgadis would allow them to be completely evil...
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Xellos: [hugs him] Because they'd be part human!
Lina: Are you sure he's ready to talk about kids, Xellos?
Xellos: No, I just like teasing him.
Lina: [giggles]
Xellos: *I'm* not ready either.
Hiei: Well, you two haven't had sex yet, so that's not surprising.
Xellos: [grins]

>Filia looked nervously on the doors. Why was he telling it to her? He didn’t want to make her be a mother of his children, did he? Well, he was capable to do so.
>Xellos saw Filia’s disquiet and began to laugh.

Xellos: [himself, giggling] No, not you, you silly bint!
Hiei: [giggles]

>“But firstly I want to have a beautiful wife.” He sad and close his eye.

Xellos: Well, that knocks Filia out of the picture.
Lina: [snickers] She's not *that* bad looking, you know.
Xellos: Fine, you marry her.
Zelgadis: I'm sure Gourry wouldn't mind too much, as long as he got to watch.
Lina: Zel!
Xellos: Don't hit his hair, Lina-san! I just fixed it!
Lina: Too late! [hits Zel across the room]
Xellos: [pouts, bonks Lina with his staff] Meanie.
Lina: OW! He deserved it!
Xellos: And so did you, Lina-san.
Lina: [indignant] All I said was that Filia's not *that* bad looking!
Xellos: Not that. [is already fixing Zel's hair again]
Zelgadis: [groans]
Hiei: You okay, Zelgadis?
Zelgadis: My head hurts, and I feel dizzy.
Xellos: [frowns] Oh dear...
Kurama: Too many hits to the head?
Koenma: [tosses Xellos a bottle of aspirin]
Xellos: [gives Zel some before cuddling him gently]

>Filia felt that her blood was colouring her cheeks. He wanted to have a wife! Xellos! Well, thinking logically, he was here. He gave her flowers and asked her to be friends. Did another thing which he was going to ask was… Filia wasn’t expected that! She wasn’t ready! But if so, she would have married him! He was handsome, strong, famous, he had many advantages.

Xellos: Flexibility.
Zelgadis: [groans]
Xellos: [bites his lip] You're head still hurts, Zel-honey?
Zelgadis: [shakes his head, blushing]
Xellos: [blinks, then smiles] Oh!
Hiei: [snickers]
Kurama: [smiles at them]

>Yes, she would be a perfect wife and she would be a good mother for mazoku-ryzoku children. They would be a happy family together.

Yuusuke: You know, homicidal tendencies aside.
Kuwa: And wouldn't the kids be fucked up? I mean, Mazoku and Ryzoku hate each other...
Hiei: [tonelessly] They'd essentially be forbidden children.
Kurama: [tightens his hold]
Xellos: [quietly] It has happened. Gaav and Valgaav, for instance. Though they were not born that way.
Hiei: [kisses Kurama] I'm okay.
Kurama: I know. [nuzzles him gently]
Hiei: [leans against him]
Kurama: [kisses his Jagan]
Hiei: [smiles]

>“And you are a woman.”

Xellos: [giggles] Sure.
Zelgadis: [snorts]
Lina: You two are mean.
Zelgadis: [raises eyebrow] You didn't know this before?
Lina: [glares] The Mazoku in you is showing.
Yuusuke: [smirks] And he has purple hair.
Xellos: [blushes] Yuusuke-san, I don't think you were supposed to take that out of context...
Hiei: Lina, you're being incredibly stereotypical.
Lina: Am not! I just happen to remember Filia is my *friend* and is a sweet person.
Xellos: [barks a laugh]
Lina: [glares at him now too]
Kurama: I suppose it depends on perspective.
Lina: Yeah...

>“Yes, I am”
>“So, you know many things about other women.”

Yuusuke: Whoa. Wait a minute here...
Hiei: Okay, now I'm confused.

>“Yes…”
>“My little friend, match me with Lina!”

Lina and Zelgadis: WHAT?!
Xellos: [falls over laughing]
Hiei: [giggles]
Lina: No. No no no no no no no.
Xellos: [pouts] Aww, Lina-san, don't act like that...
Hiei: You'll probably have to kill Gourry to get her or something.
Xellos: Well, he does have a rather soft spot for Sylphiel-san.
Lina: Grr!
Kurama: [chuckles]
Zelgadis: [gives Xellos a disgruntled look] You don't have to look so pleased about this...
Xellos: [sweetly] You're so cute when you're jealous, Zelgadis!
Zelgadis: [blushes and glares]
Xellos: [giggles and pokes Zel's ear]
Zelgadis: [bites at Xel's finger] Watch it.
Xellos: [opens his eyes] Why, Zelgadis, I didn't know you were into such things...
Zelgadis: [blushes furiously] Nonsense. I was defending my poor ear.
Hiei: Bet that's an erogenous zone.
Xellos: [excitedly] Is it, Zelgadis? Is it?
Zelgadis: [blushes deeply] Stop it.
Xellos: [deeply in his ear] But I like them. I want to play with them...
Zelgadis: Eep! [falls off the couch]
Xellos: [giggles]

>Amelia was happily waiting in the Castle’s Gardens. Three days before she received a massage from Zelgadis.

Xellos: Zel-chan! I want a massage too!
Zelgadis: [blushes deeply, still on the floor]
Xellos: [blinks] Zelgadis? Why are you sitting on the floor?
Zelgadis: I fell.
Xellos: Yes, I remember that part vividly. Why are you still there? [pokes Zel's thigh with his foot]
Zelgadis: Because I haven't gotten up yet.
Hiei: Bet Xellos can fix that.
Xellos: I can! I'll give *you* a massage! Don't move, stay down there...
Zelgadis: [blushes deeply]
Xellos: [kneads into Zel's shoulders]
Zelgadis: [wonders what he's gotten himself into, but relaxes]
Xellos: [is insanely happy, rubs the space between Zel's shoulder blades]

>He wanted to talk to her in privacy. What did he want her to tell? Was it very important? Well, if mister Zelgadis wanted to talk in privacy.

Zelgadis: Okay, so my gut reaction is that my clone is going to ask her to marry him, but after Xellos' clone went for Lina, I'm confused.
Xellos: [kneads Zel's neck, then down his back again] Yes, I'm rather suspicious of your clone's motives as well. This must be a set up for a love triangle.
Yuusuke: Or a threesome.
Zelgadis: Okay, that's just gross.
Lina: Hey!
Zelgadis: Seriously. It'd be like having sex with family.
Lina: Wait... You think of my as family? Aww, that's so sweet! I'd hug you, but that'd interupt Xellos.
Zelgadis: [shrugs] Why else would I tease you?
Lina: [grins] I'm just surprised... But I *do* think of you as a big brother.
Zelgadis: [smiles] Thanks, Lina.

>She saw him coming from the Western Gate. She held her breath. He was so elegant and look-like-inaccessible, like always. There was Wedding Night coming and Amelia hoped it was it about which Zelgadis decide to talk to her. In her justice hart she dreamt about being his wife. Wedding Night was an excellent idea for him to pop the question.

Yuusuke: Like a big ol' zit.
Koenma: [giggles]
Kuwa: Ewwww...
Xellos: [rubs just under Zel's shoulder blades]
Zelgadis: [arches his back slightly]
Xellos: [grins proudly]

>“Hello mister Zelgadis” she began.
>“Good morning Amelia. I’m glad you got my letter and decided to help me.”

Yuusuke: With his, ahem, problem.
Xellos: I doubt Zelgadis is impotent.
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Hiei: [snickers] Not with Xellos around, anyway.
Xellos: Hehe. [rubs just a tad lower]

>“Everything for you, mister Zelgadis.”
>The chimera looked around and then, when he was sure nobody was listening to him, with low voice he said:

Zelgadis: Do we really have to read this?
Xellos: [Amelia] Yes, we do, Zelgadis-san.
Zelgadis: [yelps] Don't do that!
Xellos: [giggles] Sorry, Zelgadis. [rubs his lower back]

>“I want to talk about the Wedding Night.”
>All stars went to Amelia and began to dance with her.

Yuusuke: She'd taken a hit of acid before Zelgadis showed up.
Zelgadis: Amelia on acid is not something I want to think about.
Xellos: Amelia-san would never take drugs though.
Zelgadis: Probably not.
Xellos: [giggles, kisses the back of his head]
Zelgadis: [smiles]

>“Yes?” she asked with her voice shaking.
>“You were always my favourite friend that’s why I’m asking. In this Wedding Night I want to ask Lina Inverse to marry me. Would you be so kind and help me?”

Yuusuke: Wa-wa-waaaaa...
Hiei: This promises to be amusing. OOC, but amusing.
Lina: Yeah. Apparently everyone loves me.
Xellos: Of course we do, Lina-san!
Zelgadis: But not in THAT way.
Xellos: No, of course not. I reserve that for you, my Zel-bunny! [makes his way up Zel's back again]
Hiei: I figured that Xellos would be the one to use pet names.
Xellos: [grins] Zelgadis is so cute, I couldn't decide on just one.
Zelgadis: [shakes his head, amused]
Xellos: [in his ear] Zelgadis-san is enjoying this, ne?
Zelgadis: [blushes]
Xellos: [continues rubbing] I'd hate to find out I was no good at this...
Zelgadis: [softly] I've never had a massage before...
Xellos: [kisses his neck] I'm happy I'm the first to do so then.
Zelgadis: [blushes again]

>Amelia was in shock. Mister Zelgadis wanted to marry Lina, not her! Why? Why this ugly, rude and stylless gal was so attractive for him?

Zelgadis: Amelia would never think something like that about Lina.
Xellos: That sounds more like Martina-san.
Lina: [groans] Don't remind me...
Xellos: I miss Martina-san. She was always so entertaining...
Yuusuke: You player...
Lina: [grumbles] For you, maybe.
Hiei: [smirks] Zel's more entertaining though, right?
Xellos: [nods enthusiastically]
Zelgadis: [leans back against Xel's touch]
Xellos: [grins]

>“Why?” she couldn’t resist asking.
>“I think it is love.”

Yuusuke: [Zelgadis] But I'm not sure, that's why I want to marry her.
Zelgadis: My clone is a moron.
Xellos: [hugs Zel from behind] But the real thing is very intelligent!
Zelgadis: [blushes again, softly] Thanks...
Lina: [giggles] You're sure flirty today, Xellos.
Xellos: [nods]
Zelgadis: [snorts]

>“Oh” Amelia was trying to turn up her tears.
>“She was the first woman who I wasn’t afraid to talk to. She is beautiful and strong.”

Zelgadis: I wasn't afraid to talk to her because I had my mind on other things...
Lina: Well, revenge on Rezo, that'd occupy anyone's mind.
Hiei: Among other things.
Zelgadis: [blushes] I didn't know Xellos back then...
Hiei: [snickers]
Xellos: [continues to hug Zel]
Lina: Doesn't that hurt your back?
Xellos: [sweat drops] I'm alright, Lina-san.
Hiei: Remember, he's "flexible."
Zelgadis: [gulps]
Hiei: [snickers]

>“You love her?”
>“Yes. Um, Amelia, why are you crying?”

Lina: [Amelia] Because this fic is so awful!
Kuwa: [Amelia] Effect of the acid.
Yuusuke: [snorts]

>“Because… because… I’m so happy you will be married!” said Amelia and started to cry.

Lina: Ah, yeah... That's a little more how Amelia would act, yeah. That, or she'd argue that he wasn't really in love with him--er, her.
Zelgadis: Again, my clone is an idiot.
Xellos: Yare yare. I think that's the end of the fic!
Yuusuke: That was short.
Zelgadis: At least it's over.
Hiei: Let's get the hell outta here then.
Kurama: Agreed.

- Ningenkai, Genkai’s Temple -

Xellos entered the room towel-drying his hair and wearing those insane purple pajamas with the bunnies on them. Zelgadis raised a stone eyebrow at his wet hair. “Do you even need to bathe?”

Xellos chuckled. “No. But the warm water feels so nice!”

Zelgadis smiled, then blushed as he thought about what the Mazoku must have looked like, sitting in the tub. Agitatedly, he pulled out one of the sleep mats and rolled it out on the floor. Then he paused, eyes on the second one.

Xellos looked at it too.

At the same time, they asked, “Um, would you like to share again?” They stared at each other, surprised, before laughing nervously.

“We did that last night too,” Xellos commented.

“Great minds,” Zelgadis repeated.

“I suppose that is so.” He sat on the end of the bedding and continued on with his hair. Since it was such a short length, it was already beginning to dry.

Nearby, Zelgadis watched him, thinking about what he had brainstormed the night before. If Immortality experiments were a taboo, then The Pledge of Immortality was at least ten times worse.

Though recordings of actual events were slim to none, Zelgadis had personal experience viewing what a Pledge was like. Halcyform the White, Chairman of the Atlas Sorcerers Guild, had made the pledge with the Mazoku Seigram as he lay dying. Lina defeated Halcyform in the end, but as his youth ran out he crawled to the woman he had resurrected, his lover Rubia. The girl was nothing but a zombie, a soulless corpse, and she asked Halcyform to kill her. He did so, taking himself with her. A tragic story telling of the perils of cheating death.

All things that must live shall die. That was the rule of living.

Zelgadis knew he would die one day. He just wanted to cheat it for a *little* while.

It was only partial immortality. The Pledge was made by selling one’s soul to a Mazoku. The soul was stored inside of the Pledge Stone, which could be just about anything. If the stone was ever destroyed, or if the Mazoku in question were killed, then the contract was null and void. The immortality was lost and the human would die.

Giving his soul to Xellos wasn’t such a disturbing thought when Zelgadis realized he already *had* it. This would just be making things official.

“Zelgadis-san?” Xellos spoke up, discarding the towel on the floor uncaringly. “What are you thinking so deeply about?”

“No -san,” Zelgadis reminded again.

“Zelgadis,” Xellos corrected himself, smiling wider.

“And…” Zelgadis paused, fiddling with the edge of the blanket. “There’s something I want to tell you. Well, request of you rather.”

“Request?”

“Yes.” He looked up and met Xellos’ face squarely. “I wish to sell you my soul for the Pledge of Immortality, Xellos Metallium.”

Xellos’ eyes snapped open, beyond surprised. “Z-Zelgadis… You… No.”

“What?”

“No. I refuse this contract.”

Zelgadis sputtered. “You can’t do that!”

“Yes, I very well can,” Xellos said stubbornly. He crawled underneath the blanket and turned his back to Zelgadis. “It’s my power, I can do what I want with it.”

“Xellos…” Zelgadis touched his shoulder, realizing he was pleading. “Listen to me. I’ve thought this through--”

“I should not have told you of what I feared, now it’s gone to your head--”

“I know what I’m getting myself into--”

“If you want to play the self-sacrificing hero, do it some where’s else,” Xellos snapped. He sounded angry.

Flinching, Zelgadis pulled away. “Xellos, I’m not doing this for myself. I’m doing it for you.”

“Yes, because you think you have to--”

“I don’t think I do, I *know* I have to!” Zelgadis sighed deeply. “I don’t feel obligated, if that’s what you think. I love you, you moron, and I want to spend the rest of your life beside you.”

Xellos didn’t want to listen. He pressed his face into the pillow and tried to drown the Chimera out. Zelgadis’ hand was on him again, threading his shoulder comfortingly before leaning down to press soft kisses on his neck. It was amazing that such stone could be soft, but Xellos already knew how Zelgadis’ lips felt. They weren’t exactly stone, but they weren’t skin either. Somewhere in between, being that it was so close to Zelgadis’ mouth. Thus thinking about the body part in question, he couldn’t help but turning slightly so look at the other man.

“Please,” Zelgadis whispered. “Let me do this with you. Or do you want me to die?”

Xellos studied his expression, seeing the sincere desperation there. Love. This was a human feeling love, for him. What he felt wasn’t exactly the same as what human’s felt, he knew. It was stronger. That was why it unnerved him so much. “No,” he said simply, because he didn’t. When it was all said and done, he would do anything to keep Zelgadis. But did he really want to take Zelgadis’ soul?

Then again, did he even have to? Hadn’t Zelgadis already given him something precious?

Zelgadis pulled him nearer, saying, “Please,” once more against his lips.

Xellos opened his mouth as though to capture the word. “This isn’t fair. You’re seducing me into agreeing.”

Zelgadis smirked. “Is it working?”

Xellos laughed, as inappropriate as it was under the circumstances. “If I say yes, will you stop?”

The Chimera blushed. “Not if you don’t want…”

“Hmm. Tempting, but no. It might be better if we did this before that.” Xellos sat up abruptly, sending the Chimera sprawling back. He could do it without taking Zelgadis' soul. He could use the love the Chimera had already given to him. “Let’s go outside. It’s much too crowded in here for a ceremony.”

Zelgadis’ heart skipped a beat. “Now?”

Xellos nodded, picking up his staff. His still wore his silly pajamas. “No time better than the present.”

Though the day had been exceedingly hot, it was dark now and much more pleasant. The full moon shown brightly above them. They stood facing each other a small distance away from where the hammock was set up.

“I’ve never actually researched this,” Zelgadis confessed.

“It’s rather simple,” Xellos confided, “though I’ve never done this myself. It will be my first time.” And the last, after this.

Zelgadis smiled slightly. “I feel privileged then.”

“First we need something for the stone. Either of us can chose.”

Zelgadis pulled out the necklace he wore under his shirt, the one Xellos had given him not too long ago. “Would this work?”

Xellos smiled brightly. “Oh yes! It’s perfect.” He put his hands around Zelgadis’, which held the stone. “This shall be our contract.”

The necklace began to feel warm. Zelgadis looked up at Xellos questioningly.

“That’s normal,” Xellos answered, before smiling in embarrassment. “Well, I think so anyway. Now, what’s the next step…” He tapped his foot and hummed softly until he cried, “Ah! You need to make a formal declaration of your wish. That will initiate the spell. My reply will seal it.”

“What do I say?”

“Anything, as long as you mean it.”

Zelgadis gulped nervously and thought for a moment. Magical contracts were, in theory, supposed to be recited in ancient languages or the Mazoku tongue. So Xellos was obviously cheating for his benefit. “I, Zelgadis Greywords, grandson of the Red Priest Rezo, do sell my soul to you, Xellos Metallium, priest of Beastmaster Xellas, for Immortality.”

Xellos smiled approvingly. Simple was best after all. “I, Xellos the Trickster Priest, do give unto thee, Zelgadis the Sorcerer-Shaman, my protection and longevity of life, until such time as this contract maybe broken.”

Trees rustled from a sudden wind, and the power surged around them. Zelgadis almost wanted to recoil from the dark magic, but steeled himself. Xellos’ hands clenched, and there was a definite crease between his brows, showing how much he was concentrating. His hands were warm, but everything around him had suddenly gone arctic cold, and the stench of blood and decay filled his lungs, stifling the air. Zelgadis shivered but stubbornly remained where he stood. He wasn’t going to let a little dark arts scare him off.

Then the power reached a peak, and Zelgadis’ mind went blank for a number of minutes, almost as if he had ran into a wall headfirst. When the slight ringing subsided, Zelgadis realized the power had gone *into* him, and Xellos as well. He could feel the life of trees and animals nearby, yet he also felt as though he were in the Astral Plane once more, feeding those damn ducks with the priest. He could *feel* Xellos inside of him, and the inside of Xellos in turn; at the same time, it felt like the Mazoku had gone very far away. His insides--no, his spirit--were being pulled in different directions by greedy, decrepit hands, but he resisted pulling free. He looked around, but the outline of the trees was very dim, and thought for a moment he had gone blind. The only thing that he *could* see was Xellos. It was both him and not.

The image Zelgadis saw of him predominately was that of pale skin that glowed eerily and sparkling violet eyes. He smiled as if he knew the secret of life and wasn’t planning on telling a soul, but would allow you to guess the answer. Beneath that layer, though, he saw a long shadow biting and twisting; Xellos’ truest form. What he was seeing was Xellos’ soul.

He wondered what Xellos saw as he looked down at him.

Xellos leaned down and pressed their cheeks together. Zelgadis moved closer to the warmth he provided, moving further inside of Xellos, Xellos moving further in him, until they were so tangled up he couldn’t tell who was who anymore. Foreign thoughts and memories brushed against him like a damp cloth, the white noise sounding as sweet as a lullaby compared with the total silence he had been bearing. From what Zelgadis could conceive of Xellos’ soul, it was like a very dark flame embraced by a white blanket. He could no longer feel his body, so he clung to Xellos so he wouldn’t get lost.

What Zelgadis wasn’t comprehending, not that he necessarily couldn’t, but that Xellos didn’t want him to, was that the Mazoku was having a private conversation with the God of all gods, The Lord of Nightmares. Apparently, their pact had drawn her interest.

She Who Shined Like Gold Upon the Sea of Chaos looked curiously at the Mazoku’s and human’s twined souls. “You are doing this for love?” She asked.

Xellos was tempted to lie, but knew it wouldn’t work anyway. “Well, yes, L-sama.”

“Heh. Doesn’t that beat all…” She chuckled.

Xellos gulped. “Is that bad?”

The Lord of Nightmares thought about that. “Hmm. I suppose not,” She said simply.

“Um. What I mean is, is it alright? For me to be feeling this way?” It wasn’t every day a person got to talk to the creator of creators, after all.

“Does it make you feel bad?” She questioned.

“No.”

“Then that seems alright.”

Xellos held in a sigh. That wasn’t really answering his questions… or maybe it was. He thought about it for a moment, then smiled at the Lord of Nightmares. “Thank you, L-sama!”

They came back to themselves slowly, as if from a dream, and dizzily slumped to the ground, supporting each other so that they didn’t fall completely.

“Wow,” Zelgadis breathed. His entire body was tingling.

Xellos giggled and pulled the Chimera closer. “I second that.”

“That was…”

“Intense?” Xellos finished cheekily.

Zelgadis blushed. “Yeah. I don’t think I can walk…” He laid his head on Xellos’ shoulder and had no plans of moving again, ever.

Xellos shifted the younger man in his arms, cradling him as he managed to stand and walk to the hammock. There he dropped Zelgadis and quickly joined him. Drowsily, he said, “I hope you realize that I did not remove your soul.”

“What?!” Zelgadis snapped, his energy suddenly returning as he reared on the Mazoku. “Then what did we just do all that for? You bastard!” He couldn’t believe he’d let himself be tricked by him again.

Xellos laughed, grinning at the anger in the shaman’s eyes, the snarl on his lips. “Oh, I gave you immortality. I just didn’t accept your soul for the contract. I did take something else though…”

“What was it?” Zelgadis asked suspiciously.

“That’s a secret!”

“XELLOS!”

TBC.

Chrissy: I’ll be going on my own sabbatical to England next week, so I don’t know if I’ll update in that time. (Though, Kaylbunny will probably con me into writing something for next chapter while I’m visiting…) Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.