Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Everybody's Fool ❯ Broken-Kurama ( Chapter 2 )

Dear Readers,

I have decided that this will be a series fic. Not all of the songs will be Evanescence, and the ending will end with suicide (give you three guesses as to whom). The song will be "My Last Breath".

This chapter will be Kurama's point of view. =V_V= My poor baby!! It's ANGST FILLED!! (No DUH!! Have you read chapter 1?)

If you have a song that you want in this fic, tell me the name and artist, and I'll think about it (No Japanese songs. Preferably rock songs. I hate American pop and rap). If you have a request, tell me A.S.A.P (and I don't mean Armadillos Supporting the Annexation of Possums. I mean As Soon As Possible).

This chapter's song is: Broken, by 12 Stones

(Thanks for the suggestion Lyn!! It's perfect!!)

WARNING: ANGST (as in, no happiness.) Self bashing Overall, I hope it will make you cry (it probably will. Lyn cried after reading the first chapter).

This takes place one week from when Shiori learned Kurama's secret.

Chapter 2:

I haven't been myself since that day. Yusuke and even Kazuma have noticed my behavior. The last time I've eaten was breakfast one week ago. I am thin and weak as I sit in the park, the park where I have been staying in since that day. The day my love was rejected.

Your words hurt me mother. I have never felt as badly as I do now. All I can think is `How could you?' But no, that is not suitable for the circumstance. The real question, is `How could I'?

~~~ Alone again, again alone
Patiently waiting by the phone
hoping that you will call me home ~~~

I am sitting in my favorite forest near your home -no longer mine- alone. Hiei left me alone, loyal to my request for solitude. He understands. He knows what it's like for your mother to abandon you.

I hold my cell phone in my hands in a vain hope that you will call me. Why don't you call me? I'm begging you mother! Please call me and tell me that you still love me! Ask me to come home!

~~~ The pain inside my love denied
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride
Everything I need it lies in you ~~~

I loved you for so many years, and I know you loved me too. So why? Why did you turn me away, just like that? Don't you know that I am only here because of you? If not for you, your love, I would have become a heartless demon once again. I wouldn't even be alive.

I'm sorry that I didn't always show my love to you mother. My pride was too big for that. Or should I say, the youko's pride was too much. I am new at showing the emotion called `love'. But you loved me despite of that, despite my cold exterior.

But I did show my love in one way, a way that my pride did sometimes allow. I saved your life, twice at least. Both times nearly losing my own in the process. How could I let you die? You mean everything to me. Your happiness is all that matters in my life. What do I need that you don't have?

~~~ `Cause I'm broken
I know I need you now
`Cause deep inside I'm broken
You see the way I live ~~~

But now, I can't see your love. When I revealed myself to you, your benign eyes darkened to a vehemence glare. I had never hoped to see you like that. You should be happy, never angry.

I need you mother! Your words heft a void in my heart. I feel empty, alone. I need you!! I am broken inside. Only you can help restore me.

Now that you know who I am, you know my lifestyle, which I fight for you and other ningens. Why do you hate me then? Do you hate your "Super Man" or "Bat Man"? They fought for humans' lives, and people loved them for it. All I get is a repudiate glare. You should at least have accepted me mother!!

No, that is an egotistic thought. I can't hate you for it. If you want me to leave, I will.

~~~ I know I know your heart is broken
When I turn away
I need to be broken
Take the pain away ~~~

I can tell that I have hurt you. You are hurt that I lied to you all of these years. Would you have believed me if I had told you earlier? Would you have accepted me then?

When I turned to leave, I could sense the tears cascading down your cheeks. You made no noise until I left, then you broke down. I broke you. I broke your heart. I hate myself for that.

Perhaps then, I need to be hurt. I should be punished severely! You should beat me, torment me, and even kill me! Anything to make it up to you!

But you would never do that to anyone, so all I have is sadness. I cannot repent for my sins in an appropriate manner.

So please then, take the pain away. Please forgive me mother!!

~~ I question why you chose to die
when you knew your truth I would deny ~~

I knew you could have died of shock when I told you.

Why did you have to ask me that question?

`What are you hiding from me, Shuiichi?'

I never would have told you, had you not asked. I was never going to tell you, so why did I? Any other day I would have simply made a lie.

~~ You look at me
The tears begin to fall
And all in all faith is blind
But I fail time after time
Daily in my sin I take your life ~~

After I had told you, and shown you my youko form, you stood in shock. You couldn't believe it. You simply starred at me. What else could you do, mother?

You did not shed tears until I was gone, but mine had already begun to fall. They haven't stopped since. I had hoped that you would say something, ANYTHING besides what you told me.

`Get out. Don't come back you detestable vermin! I HATE YOU!!'

You had glared at me so fully, and I could see the pain clearly in your eyes. Instead of counseling your tears, I obeyed you mother and I left. You did nothing as I nodded and walked out.

My faith that you would forgive me was betrayed, ignored. Why don't you help me Inari-Sama? Why don't you heal my heart and that of my mother?

I have failed to make you happy, mother. My inability to talk to you, and tell you what was in my mind has been killing you for years it seems. Now you would prefer it if you had never known, if I had never told you, right?

I was killing you; it was my fault. The fault of a stupid youko!!

~~ All the hate deep inside
Slowly covering my eyes
All these things I hide
Away from you again ~~

You hate me now mother, it is as clear as day. My eyes were forced to look away when you first frowned at me. I can still see the look of pain on your face. I'm so sorry!

Even though you know the truth, I remain in Ningenkai, in my human form. Am I still trying to hide from the truth? Am I still trying to be human? I don't know anymore. Perhaps I am. I cannot think of any other reason why I'm still here.

~~ All this fear holding me
My heart is cold and I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Until I'm broken ~~

Now I am afraid that you will never call me home. It scares me. Isn't that strange? That a human such as you can scare the great Youko Kurama?

My heart has grown cold as it once was, as I now know that you will never call me home. You will always hate me. Nothing will change until I'm gone.

***

Yes, yes, I know, it was kind of boring and weird. I am in an angsty mood right now -seeing as my dentist ripped two of my teeth out *winces in memory and pain in her mouth*. Be that as it may, I hope you still enjoyed the fic. The next chapter will have Shiori wallowing in sorrow and then it will dawn on her- Hey! He is still my son. I still love him! Then she will go out looking for her son. The chapter will end there. She'll find him in chapter 4, but not as she hoped she would. -V_V- My poor Kurama.