Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Hiei n' Weed ❯ Hiei n' Weed: The Trauma begins ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters, though I wish I owned Hiei, so don't sue me because I'm broke anyway…

The day was cool, and the weather was great. Not a cloud in the vast blue sky. The grass was a healthy dark shade of green and the flowers were bright shades of red, yellow, and blue. As he was lying on the ground, he felt a slight gentle breeze sweep over him. The birds sang their beautiful songs with glee as the sun shone down from the trees above. He breathed in the wonderful scent of fresh dew upon the grass. The stream beside him was so pure and clear and a slight mist caused a rainbow to form. All of the forest creatures were dancing all around him.

"Hnn…what a beautiful day…" he sighed to himself. Everything was wonderful until…

*BUUUUZZZZZZZZ!!!!! *

"K'SO!!!!!"

Hiei shot up from his bed. He turned to his alarm clock to shut it off, which read 5:30am.

Stumbling out of bed, he walked towards his bathroom. He slowly opened the door and walked in. He went in and "paid his morning water bill", and then stepped up to the sink to wash his face. Then, he looked in the mirror at the dark circles under his eyes. "Damnit…I'm tired…" he said. He hadn't slept well in weeks. Afterwards, he resumed down the stairs to eat some breakfast. A good old bowl of Apple Jacks did the trick. He went upstairs to get dressed for school in his usual attire, which consisted of all black. Then he grabbed his book bag and was off to school.

He got to school around 6:30am, right at the crack of dawn. Since he usually got to school early enough that no one was there, he rolled a blunt of weed and smoked it. He only did this on very few occasions though, because he knew that it wasn't in his best health or fighting interests. On this morning in particular, however, he smoked maybe 3 or 4 joints. He took his boom box out of his book bag and put on the radio. The song "Material Girl". "Hn…my favorite Madonna song!…" said Hiei out loud. So he started to sing along with the song and dance around to it.

"Some boys kiss me

some boys hug me

I think they're ok

But if they don't give me proper credit I'll just walk away

They can beg

and they can plead

But they can't see the light

Cause a Boy with the cold hard cash

is always Mr. Right…

Cause we are living in a material world

and I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world

and I am a material girl…."

He sang until he finished the song, but little did he know that Yusuke had been watching him the entire time! Yusuke was in absolute shock. Hiei was totally high. He started to see little pink elephants fly around the trees overhead. He made his way back to the boom box and pushed the play button on the CD player. Inside of it was his absolute favorite cd…Best Female Artist Hits 80's- 90's. The put the song "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls. Through the fist half of the song he was smoking again and talking to the little pink elephants.

Hiei started to strip as he danced and sang along the rest of the song.

"You're the only one who makes me happy honey

*Kurama now arrives to school and finds Yusuke hiding behind a tree in total shock and then joins him when he sees what Hiei is doing*

You're the sun that makes me shine

When you're around me

I'm always laughing

I want to make you mine

I close my eyes

and see you before me

Think I would die

if you were to ignore me

A fool could see

how much I adore you

I get down on my knees

I'd do anything for you…

*now Hiei is in nothing but his tight, silky black underwear shaking his butt (he also is hallucinating 15 of the little pink elephants dancing with him)

I don't want anybody else

When I think about you I touch myself

*by now Yusuke and Kurama have their jaws dropped and have their eyes opened to their maximum*

I don't want anybody else

*still shaking his butt*

Oh no oh no oh no

I want you

I don't want anybody else

And when I think about you I touch myself

Oh oh oh…"

When Hiei finished the song, Kurama and Yusuke dropped backwards straight to the floor.

It took nearly 5 minutes for them to come back to their senses. They both finally got up and whispered to eachother while Hiei sat down and rolled some more blunts. "What should we do?" asked Yusuke. "I have no idea whatsoever…" replied Kurama. "He's totally stoned!…Has he ever done this before???, said Yusuke. "Well…if he has…I've never seen him do it." said Kurama. "Damn…well…at least Kuwabara didn't see any of this…otherwise…Lord only knows what would've happened….." said Yusuke. "Yes…thank God…speaking of Kuwabara….what time does he usually arrive here?" asked Kurama. "Umm…*looking down at his watch* he usually get's here around -*gasp*". Yusuke cut himself off. "what?…Yusuke at what time does he get here?…". "At 7:00…", replied Yusuke. "And what time is it now?", Kurama asked. "*he gulped* It's 7:02…."he said. "Oh NO!" , they both said it in unison.

What will happen next? Will Kuwabara stumble into this entire mess of things? Will Kurama and Yusuke ever recover from this? Will Hiei ever turn back into his normal self? Find out next time on Hiei And Weed. (please give me your feed back and some ideas for the next chapter.)