Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Hiei's (Attempt at) Revenge ❯ Dragons ( Chapter 5 )

A/N: Ah ... this is as much for Crimson Dreamer as it is for everyone else actually. I hope some of you stop to read it too. In fact ...

Crimson Dreamer: I'm not just talking about the annoying traits of the majority of Mary Sues, but the total degradation of character that people put our favorite characters through. People love them for who they are, or connect with them because of what they've been through. They shouldn't be massacred, and then replaced with look-a-likes any longer. You can't be in love with someone because of the way they look. Some of the most hideous characters in this show are actually more beautiful than anyone gives them credit for. People are actually trying to write something wonderful in other fandoms while here, YYH is being tortured. Hiei won't ever be sappy for your beloved Sue - in fact, he's never turned sappy - unless it was for Yukina, and then in other times in the manga and sometime much later in the anime - if Funi ever gets off their asses to show it. People need to start thinking of the characters instead of thinking of how they want their story to turn out. Stories are made up of characters - not your plot. No matter how great the plot, it'll never amount to anything if the characters aren't given the respect and trust to just be themselves. If you must have them fall in love - fine - but keep our characters safe from being killed and replaced by clones. I want to read a story about them, not how Olga saved the known universe.

Looking up, Hiei tried to think up a good way to just burn the entire thing down. Unfortunately for him, there weren't any trees nearby to just pile up beside the tower, and then burn. Nothing connected to the tower was burnable either. It was definitely a shame since all of those stones which the tower was made of would make for a great oven. He played with the thought that if it got hot enough that the Mary Sues' skin would just melt right off after their hair and clothes burst into flames.

He was already tasting burnt flesh on both his tongue and in his nose when the front door opened.

That cheeky Mary Sue from before grinned at him, "Oh, it's you. Come on in."

"... No."

"Why not, my dear beloved Jaganshi?"

"Platypus," he said, and she grimaced. Just seeing her brought a huge fang-filled smirk to his face as he took off his bandana, "You Sues don't like ugly men, right?"

"Of course not!" She scoffed."Why anyone want one of those? They're so nasty"

He nodded in understanding as his Jagan opened up, "Exactly. I do see your point ... but forgive me if I'm wrong. You seem to be ugly yourself."

"Why you ...!" furious, the girl grabbed a chain that had popped out of nowhere which was hanging from the ceiling, and yanked on it.

A boot swung down in an arch from the top of the door where Hiei was standing, and booted him in, catching him totally by surprise. Upon stumbling inside due to the force of the boot, Hiei was attacked. For hidden behind several doorways were hundreds of Mary Sues who leapt out, and attempted to either disembowel or unclothe him.

He lost his shirt in the process - whether it was sliced off or one of the Sues actually got a hold of it, Hiei thought that he might never know. However, though they were spawned by a author who knew of a world filled with fighting, none of the Mary Sues seemed to realize just how effective this fast youkai was in a fight against so many. Therefore, in about ten seconds it was all over, and a bare-chested Hiei was staring the last standing Sue down.

With a quick lunge, he attempted to stab at her chest, but she side-stepped it easily, eyes lighting up in amusement as he kept trying.

This one laughed, "Sorry, my little platypus, but I'm not like the others."

Hiei could only scowl at her when she ran away and try to chase her again. Running up a spiralling stairs to follow her, he heard her annoying cackle through the halls, and reverberating through his skull.

This princess of the Lost Tribe of the Dark, Naughty, Powerful, Super-Neat, Dark Dragon Princesses (How'd you remember that whole line?) was a hazard to his health, and he greatly disliked her. Wanted to eat her silver eyeballs, actually. After he boiled her whole body, he'd pluck them right out.

I bet they'd taste sweet, he imagined, and licked his chops. They'll all pay for ... for ...

He stopped, feeling like his feet were glued to the steps. They did something ... but what? Why can't I remember? I'll ... I'll just have to kill them all ... Yeah ...

Taking an agitated step up the stairs and then another, Hiei went up the floors, searching for the Mary Sue that taunted him. Only finding more goon-like Mary Sues to harrass him. He didn't lose anymore clothes, but he was fast losing patience.

Something wasn't right with this place - the walls appeared to cave in, and then they would bend out. It was like a living, breathing lung, and he was there within the great lung of the tower. From time to time, Hiei would look behind himself, and it wouldn't look like the same hallway, or the same room.

Also, if he turned back, he'd find himself a few floors back down the tower.

Many more times, he'd be walking down a flight of stairs, and he wouldn't be able to conjure up any memories or reasonings for why he was attempting to leave the tower.

The tower was like some kind of dreamworld - a nightmareworld.

When am I going to wake up? After one such incident of walking down the stairs, Hiei trudged back up, gripping the banister tightly in his left hand. When he reached the top of the spiralling staircase, Hiei looked around, and instantly felt dizzy.

He had somehow already reached the top of the tower, and it took him a moment to realize that he was covered in rich, crimson blood. Blood that he didn't remember spilling from the multitude of Mary Sues that he had fought to reach the tip-top of the tower. His pants were torn, and the bandages around his right arm were about ready to fall off.

Without a roof above him, the wind blew fiercely, causing him to brace himself on the stone floor as it hit his whole body.

The very last Sue smiled at him, standing near the edge of the tower, "I knew it! You're definitely worthy of being my mate! Join with me, my sweet Jaganshi! Together, we'll destroy my enemies once and for all!"

"No! No, no, no," he cradled his head in his hands, "... it's all wrong ... you ... you're just a stupid Mary Sue!"

She snapped, stomping her little foot, "I'm not just any Mary Sue! I'm the embodiment of every one of them! And you know what? Mary Sues always get their man!"

"I don't belong to you or anyone else! I won't give in to anyone! No one could ever hope to own me! No one!"

In his fit of rage, fire erupted around them. Licked at her skin ...

She laughed, "Own you? Oh, that sounds like fun. Kind of kinky. What do you say? Let's give it a try. Here. Now. After your bloody battles with those terrible Mary Sues, you must be all riled up."

He blinked a few times in confusion - indeed, feeling steamed, and needing some sort of outlet. However, the idea sickened him, made him want to step back.

Of course, stepping back meant that he'd go right back down the stairs, so he didn't, but he wanted to. Very badly.

He said, "That's gross. You want to fuck a platypus?"

Her jaw dropped open before she screamed in frustration, "What's wrong with you!?"

"What's wrong with you? You're the one that wants to fuck a wild, poisonous mammal that lays eggs."

"Stop saying that you're a platypus!"

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want. If I'm a platypus, then I'm a damned platypus! Nothing that you say can make me stop saying it either!"

Raising her fist, she yelled, "Then my fist will make you stop!" She leapt up into the air, and her fist smashed into his left cheek. As his head spun, she laughed victoriously, "Hey, I thought you were tough. Is my little Jaganshi tired?"

"Yeah ... tired of you," he tore off the remainder of his bandages, letting the black tattoo etched on his arm glitter in the bleak sun of the Makai sky. Aiming his arm at the girl, he dangled his energy out for bait, and the dragon followed it out of his arm, "Ja Ou En Satsu Koku Ryuu Ha!"

Amazingly enough, the dragon was dodged by the Mary Sue when she jumped up into the air. Not to be outdone, he directed the dragon to swerve up, but she almost laughably swatted it away.

This is ridiculous! Mary Sues are able to withstand almost everything, but this Sue can handle even my dragon! Only Mukuro and Bui were able to do such a thing! How can I kill her!? ... He glanced up at her still falling form ...

A disatisfied dragon turned on the Jaganshi.

Hiei - exhausted and glad that the tower was not so tall - jumped over the side of the tower. He plummeted to the ground, hugging closely to the side of the tower to slow his fall as much as possible. His enormous dragon tore apart the tower as it followed him and his energy down.

Though the skin of his hands was near to being scraped off, Hiei grinned as he watched the ultimate Mary Sue drop down to the ground with no tower to fall on, and no friction to slow her fall.

He hit the ground first, but before the dragon attacked him, he had the indulgence of watching the Mary Sue's head splatter over the ground near by.

From FanFiction:

Jasmemini: ^-^ Not quite, love, not quite. Thank you for the review!

Kohaku Hoshi: I also do stand-up comedy in another life.

RoninsOath: Yes, very convenient. ^-^ Nothing, absolutely nothing. Hiei's magical. What, Hiei's not the same anymore? Seems like he acts about the same way to me. -twitches- And of course, I'll continue.

HieiFan666: Oh, really? Where does Mukuro hit on him?

A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out, and grants them each one wish.

The Quebecer says, "I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out."

"It is done," says the genie, turning to the other guy. "And your wish?"

The guy from Ontario smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."

Just thought that we needed a bit more humor since it got so weirdly angsty. XP

Hiei, lost and confused, tries to find out what he's forgotten about.