Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ I Dream of Demons ❯ Haunted ( Chapter 2 )

Priestess Aishisu : Aw, come on! Tell me you didn't think I was going to be that mean to poor Kurama and leave it as a one-shot, did you? Actually, there's going to be a lot of poor Hiei in the future-but it just isn't in this particular chapter.
In fact, he still hasn't shown up yet in this one. This chapter is in Kurama's point of view, by the way. And I'm bad at doing things in one particular character's point of view unless it's like a one-shot introspective thingy-in which case first person is best-so this isn't really that great. Just to warn you beforehand, in case you judge my skill by this chapter.
Also, to those curious about Hiei's betrayal-I tell you more and more every chapter, but it will be at least one or two before I actually start flashbacks and explain things word-for-word. But I do have all the details already-I'm just not telling.
Yet.
The song, by the way, is the demo version of Evanescence's Haunted. I was going to use a different one, but this fit so well it almost scared me-just a little bit. I might decide to make every chapter a songfic, though Evanescence only has so many songs…So they wont all be Evanescence, just to let you know.
Also, a trick of mine is-every chapter can be the end of the story, but it's a cliffhanger nonetheless. So you have to review or you'll be sorry!
Anyway, thanks to everybody who reviewed-as I've neither written nor read a Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction in my life, it's good to know I did at least a little well. Now, on with the fanfiction!

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here with you
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there

I clamped a hand over my mouth as I woke up, stifling a scream which would have probably woken up the entire city. My head throbbed with lack of sleep and my heart pounded with fear.

Glancing down at the essay I had been writing, I sighed at the realization that my falling asleep on it had smeared the ink all over the page as well as my hair and half my face.

I walked with practiced quiet to the bathroom, walking in a strait line and keeping on the very tips of my toes. I couldn't be entirely silent like Hiei could, but I guess I must have done pretty well considering that I didn't wake up my mother.

As I waited for the water to heat up and cloud the room, I pulled up a lock of my hair to look at the black ink staining the red.

Black and red…

Pulling off my clothes (I was still wearing the school uniform, I noticed with a grimace) I stepped into the shower and shivered in headachy delight as warm water cascaded over me.

Maybe it was a fox thing, but I had always enjoyed taking a shower. Breathing in the steam as I lathered my hair with shampoo, I felt my headache drain away-but the emotions remained.

Like all the other dreams, it had been about Hiei. And, like all the others, I could only remember bits and pieces of it.

He had been fighting, or getting beaten up, or more likely both. Either way, he was in such great pain that I could almost feel it.

I didn't remember who he was fighting, only that s/he/it scared me beyond all rational thought-and that was saying something.

Picking up a bar of soap and trying to forget about the dream, I flinched as it touched the scar running across my chest in a slanted \ shape.

It may not surprise you to find out that I have had many scars over the course of both this life and the one before, but never one I have disliked quite so much as I dislike this one-not so much because of the pain or the shape, but because of the memories behind it.

Trying to forget that completely ineffectual and undeniably distressing chain of thought, I finished the rest of the bath quickly so I could finish that essay.

What was it about again…?

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I know I'll find you somehow

I thought I was wrong, but it seems that there is a chance I wasn't.

Confused?

I thought, the last twenty times that I thought I saw or sensed Hiei, that I was going crazy or something. But Genkai said she had sensed him yesterday-just for a moment. Which means that he might be nearby. I suppose it's foolish to feel so glad.

As I had suspected, Yuske and Kuwabara were less than pleased with this information. Unlike me, they had not believed his eventual apology was sincere-and if they had, it hadn't been enough for them.

They had not forgiven him, and Yuske insisted I shouldn't either-it was true that he had, after all, hurt me a lot more than he did them.

Like I need him to remind me.

What they don't realize is that Hiei was-and still is-the best friend I've ever had, no matter what he may have done, and it's impossible for me to be mad at him.

I forgave him before he even asked for forgiveness.

Calling me, killing me
I won't let you pull me down
Saving me, raping me
Watching me

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" my mother asked, for at least the thousandth time.

"I'll be fine," I lied. I seemed to be doing that more and more often lately-but my mother, my kind caring human mother, was even more trusting than I had been…no.

I need to refrain from that trail of thought-it would lead to nothing but more sorrow, and I had enough of that to worry about thank you very much.

"You're sure," she persisted. "I mean, I've never been gone for more than you months, and you've seemed so distant lately…and you woke up so early this morning-in fact, it seems as if you barely sleep anymore."

First Yusuke, now my mother, next thing you know Kuwabara is going to notice something! I didn't realize it was that bad.

I forced my lips into a fake, but convincing, smile and said with false, but believable, brightness, "Relax, Mom. What am I going to do, fall in love with a sword-wielding demon?"

I didn't let myself think about those words, or what they might mean. They were in the past I wanted to forget the past. I wanted the present to go away. I didn't want the future to be real.

It all hurt too much.

She laughed prettily, but her eyes remained trouble. Silently I cursed how unnervingly in tune my mother was with my raging emotions-something else that I seemed to be doing that more and more often lately.

I hate my life. I hate both of them.

"All right, Suichi," she consented at last, though I could tell she remained unconvinced. Damn it all! "Just remember to do your homework."

"Of course I'll do my homework."

Watching me, haunting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down

My homework remained untouched. I had barely glanced at the open book before facing the window, chin rested in my cupped palms as I counted stars. It was the same sky as it was in Demon World-although the constellations were introverted, giving it the illusion of looking into a mirror.

Instinctively, I breathed in deep, savoring the myriad of different scents, trying to distract myself of thoughts of a certain garnet-eyed fire demon by trying to identify each of them.

Due to being in human form, my sense of smell is not as refined as in my fox aspect. Moreover, Tokyo pollution covered a lot of what I could smell. Nevertheless, I can get fairly good impressions from my surroundings. In spite of my trying to cover this as a `distraction,' I knew very well what was I truly hoping to smell.

I was hoping to grasp a very particular fragrance, whether I liked it or not. There had been a time when I could smell it almost once a week. Nowadays, though, it had been months since I had caught more than a whiff of it.

But now either I had somebody else who was going crazy, or Hiei was still around. Though, if Yuske and Kuwabara had meant a word of the painfully explicit threats they had been saying-and they probably did-he might not be for lo-No.

I will not let that happen. Yuske and Kuwabara might not believe his apology was sincere, but I do. Hidden under my pillow in a tiny wooden case that only be opened by my magic is the proof of the sincerity.

And I would have probably believed him anyway, even if it was an obvious lie-something I would not have thought I could do before. I guess some of those insults he flung at me must have lowered my self-esteem a bit.

I couldn't blame him. He couldn't help but be himself. He was unwanted, thrown away by people who should have accepted him…loved him.

He had to be cruel to defend himself from the cruelty of the world. Yes, he was cold, he was cruel, he was arrogant. But…he was…he was Hiei.

Hiei.

My heart still ached from his words, just as my chest still ached from his attack. And even now, a part of me refuses to believe that my friend-my best friend, no matter how cold he may be-would speak to me so harshly.

Let alone almost kill me.

And, every night, I still gaze at the night sky searching. Searching for his shadow, his figure. Anything. Although I knew that I wouldn't find him, I couldn't help but wish he would appear, just for a moment, and tell me he didn't mean that harsh abuse he spat at me.

"Hiei…" I whispered. Warm tears began to trickle down cold cheeks. "Hiei, please come back. Please tell me you didn't mean it…"

I missed him. I missed everything about him. I missed his delicate looks, his scornful ways, his bravery, his sable hair with the white starburst, the purple eye on his forehead, the black dragon on his arm.

I missed those haunting eyes, the richest shade of scarlet I had ever seen-dark, ruby gems that had always seemed to blaze with an unquenchable flame and illuminated by a radiant intensity which always managed to draw me into its warmth.

I can go on for eight pages on everything I miss (Priestess Aishisu: He isn't exaggerating, I wrote it before realizing most people wouldn't want to spend two hours reading about all the things Kurama loves about Hiei) but that will take much too long.

Umm…where was I again? Oh, right. Missing Hiei.

No matter what he did to me, I want him back. And I want him to say he didn't mean it-if he didn't, I would be haunted by those words for the rest of both my lives.

Come back to me, Hiei. I know you're still there. Come back…come back to me…Hiei, please…

I felt, in that one moment, that I would do anything in the world to have him back. Even if only for an instant-I needed to have him back.

And it wasn't as if I didn't have time, seeing as how my mom would be gone for months.

I miss you, Hiei…my Hiei. I'll find you…I don't know where, I don't know when, but I know I'll find you somehow. Somehow…

Watching me, haunting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down