Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ If Anyone Falls ❯ Missing You ( Chapter 31 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 31- Missing You

December 21, 1993 Shoreline near the Karu Palace

Botan walked barefoot along the white sand that hugged the hill upon which the Palace of Karu resided, purple orbs staring out at the vast expanse of crystal blue waters. The impending visit of her paternal grandparents was making her antsy and the chaotic preparation for their arrival at the palace made her even more nervous. Needing a little breathing room, the ferry girl had walked the long winding trail down to the stone path, veering to the left and down a stairway that led out to the beach. A steady breeze swirled along the coast, waves forming from the intensity and they crashed onto the shore, retreating and returning in rhythmic patterns, the sounds soothing her anxiety and the deity smiled in delight. Her thoughts drifted to Kurama and her smile fell and she stared across the lake with a look of longing.

She missed him. Missed the warmth of his body and the arms that held her through the night. She missed the sound of his voice and the way he'd tease her. Most of all she missed the love in his eyes when he looked at her. The month plus away from the kitsune was wreaking havoc with her heart. She wanted to go home. She wanted to see him again but Botan knew she could not leave until she at least met with her paternal grandparents. After that, she could return to Ningenkai and Kurama. Just a few more days and I will come back to you, love.

The sun broke through the clouds and Botan's eyes caught a flash of light along the sand some distance ahead. Curious, she stalked forward then crouched down, gasping in surprise at what she saw. There, half buried in sand, lay several stones of blue, green, and white. Are those what I think they are? The ferry girl reached out, scooping the gems into her hand and inspected them. They were oddly shaped and varied in size but there was no doubt in her mind exactly what the colorful stones were.

“Miss Botan?”

The girl turned at the sound of Abverden's voice, tracking the servant as he approached. “Is something wrong?” She asked as he came to a stop before her.

“No, my lady. It was just that the duke and duchess wanted me to retrieve you before the storm hits.”

“Storm?”

“Yes,” The purple haired male replied, his gaze sweeping the surface of the lake, the waves already growing larger than before. “Do you not hear it in the wind?”

The ferry girl followed his gaze and focused her hearing, brow furrowing as the sun hid behind the darkening clouds, shivering at the drop in temperature. “I do believe you're right, Abverden. We should head inside before we get rained on.”

“Follow me, Miss Botan.”

The deity kept pace with the servant, scooping up her shoes she'd left lying near the steps and slipped them on, lifting her head when Abverden asked,

“What's that in your hand, my lady?”

Botan opened her palm, voice child-like as she spoke. “I found these stones on the shore. I think they may be gemstones.”

Abverden leaned forward to inspect the gems. “Ah... seems some more stones from the Takai Mountains have made their way into the lake.”

“Takai Mountains?”

“Yes,” The lanky man replied with a nod. “It's a mountain range that extends well beyond the province of Fubuki and ends within the northern borders of Karu. The Otilia river cuts through the center of the mountain range, fed by the ice caps to the north. On occasion the mountains shift, the debris falling into the Otilia which branches off into the Eastern and the Southern Otilia. The southern branch travels to Lake Seppen and the stones deposit into the sandy bottom,” He backed up and turned, making for the start of the stairway. “These gems only appear after a storm. That you found them before one is rare.”

Botan listened intently to the information and she hesitated to speak before asking, “So can I keep them?”

Abverden frowned, turning to look at her. “Why wouldn't you be able to keep them?”

The ferry girl started then stopped, wrinkles forming on her forehead. “I.. that is... they must be worth a lot of money... if they're as rare as you say...”

“They are... but there are no rules about keeping what you find here, Miss Botan. The lake belongs to the people of Karu... not just to the ruling family here. Since you found them, they are yours to keep.”

Botan smiled, happy to know she could keep the jewels. The pair headed back up to the palace, entering just as the storm was unleashed and the ferry girl climbed the stairs to her room then made for her desk. Sitting down, Botan lay the gems to her right, opening the drawer in front of her and reached in, pulling out a black velvet pouch and she picked each stone by hand, sliding them into the bag then pulled the drawstring shut. She studied the pouch with happy eyes, an idea forming in her mind and she lay the bag to the side. Botan drew out a piece of paper from the drawer to her left then grabbed a pen to compose a letter to Kurama, weaving her thoughts and feelings within the words. Finished, she folded the paper neatly, sliding it underneath the bag then rose to exit her room. She took the staircase at a slow pace, her heart and mind on the kitsune, even as her anxiety remained about her upcoming birthday celebration and the meeting with her paternal grandparents.

December 24, 1993 Karu Palace front courtyard

Botan stood with Kasumi, Torvald, and Avaron in front of a long golden carpet that spread from the edge of the courtyard to the steps of the palace engawa. Elite guard and servants lined each side, standing at attention, a nervous energy building that was palpable to the ferry girl. They should have been here by now. She thought, her eyes scanning the gate at the far end. The sun was out today, warming the crowd but still Botan shivered, the anxiety growing in her. What if they'd changed their mind? What would she do then?

The gate drew open slowly and the deity's eyes fell on a rather ornate green and white carriage, followed by three less opulent carriages, the metallic horses coming to a stop just beyond the welcome party. Botan steadied her nerves, watching as the door to the carriage opened, a rather tall and imposing figure of a man exiting first. His long blue hair was pulled back into a low pony tail, his dark green eyes focused on the interior of the carriage as he held out his hand, backing up as a lithe and tall female exited the carriage. Purple hair flowed freely down past her shoulders, smoky gray eyes fixed directly on Botan and the ferry girl felt the strength and the scrutiny in the lady's gaze but did not shrink or shy away, keeping her back straight, though inside she was a nervous wreck.

The pair approached with measured grace, coming to a stop before the trio and Torvald stepped forward in greeting.

“Welcome to Karu, my king and queen. We here in the palace are honored by your presence on this, our granddaughter's birthday celebration.”

The king and queen acknowledged the duke with slight nods, Mayumi's scrutinizing gaze shifting, becoming a bit softer as she spoke in a melodic voice. “I can see the strength and light in your eyes, granddaughter... It is a pleasure to meet you at last.”

Botan was surprised at the compliment but did her best to hide it, returning the greeting with a slight bow of her head. “It is an honor to finally meet you as well, grandmother.”

Mayumi shifted her gaze to Norio, growing quiet as her husband spoke.

“Mitsuko, as your parents called you, so too shall we do the same. I am delighted to finally see you with my own eyes, granddaughter.”

His voice was the personification of strength but held within it some temperance of emotion and Botan repeated the formal greeting. “Hello, grandfather. I am honored by your presence and hope to learn more of my father from you.”

Norio smiled, his broad shoulders relaxing a bit. “So you shall, Mitsuko,” He replied softly, turning his gaze over to the duke and duchess, addressing them in a more formal tone. “Let us head inside, for the journey was long and we are in need of a bit of rest.”

“Of course, my king,” Torvald said in a formal tone, pivoting around to lead the group inside. They walked down the carpet, passing through the open doorway and into the entrance hall that led into the interior of the main building.

Mayumi studied the walls, marveling at the colorful displays, parting her lips to speak. “These are rather beautiful murals. Who did you commission to paint them?”

“I painted these scenes on my own time.” Avaron answered.

“On your own?” Norio murmured in puzzlement. “Do you not have artists for such tasks?”

“Oh, we do, but I find some things are more rewarding when you do it on your own.”

The king and queen looked at each other then back to the duke who stopped and turned to address them. “We have prepared an entire wing for you during the duration of your stay. We have planned a great feast in your honor and to celebrate Botan's birthday.”

“Mitsuko's birthday you mean.” Norio corrected.

Torvald bit his tongue, not wanting to argue with his king. “Yes, of course,” He motioned with his right hand towards the staircase. “Allow me to show you to your quarters then we can talk about the celebration in further detail.”

Avaron, Kasumi, and Botan headed to the main hall, allowing for Torvald to be the official guide and they sat down at the long table to voice their various opinions while they waited for the duke to return with the royals in tow.

“Well, that went better than I expected,” Kasumi began, looking over at her niece. “Though they were rather insistent on calling Botan by her given name.”

“That is to be expected,” Avaron commented. “That is what Satoru and Mizuki named her... but it does seem to speak of a stubbornness that could be difficult to deal with,” She paused, features turning thoughtful. “And I did not recognize any of their entourage, though I suspect they are servants to the king and queen.”

Kasumi looked a bit skeptical but said nothing, turning her attention over to the ferry girl. “How are you feeling about all this, Botan?”

“I feel... rather nervous...” She admitted. “They haven't said anything about the bonding mark yet, but I know they could sense it,” Botan lowered her gaze. “I dread what their reaction will be.”

“Don't worry, Botan,” Avaron said in a reassuring tone. “We won't abandon you. Even if they disapprove, you will always be loved by us here.”

“I know,” Botan whispered. “And I am grateful for that but I am curious about my father and his parents. I just worry how they'll react to my choice to return and remain in Ningenkai.”

“We'll worry about that when the question arises but for now, today is your birthday so we should celebrate it with joy.”

Botan smiled at her grandmother's words. “True... I am excited for tonight... I only wish Kurama were here to celebrate it with me.”

Kasumi understood the girl's longing. The lady knew that the kitsune's birthday was close to her niece's. And you were planning on spending it with Kurama, weren't you, Botan? She felt bad for her, knowing that the ferry girl truly loved the youkai... and that the fox spirit did indeed love the girl. And this long separation has to be hurting them both.

The doors to the main hall opened and the three women turned their heads, watching as Torvald entered, the king and queen behind him. The ladies rose, waiting until the royals sat down before following suit, waiting for the leaders of the north to speak.

“My wife and I thank you for your hospitality. It is the first time we've traveled outside the borders of Matsu and we found the experience enjoyable so far. Karu is rather beautiful and your palace is breathtaking in its splendor. I look forward to seeing your gardens,” Norio began, shifting his vibrant green gaze over to Botan. “And of course were are happy to meet our only grandchild. We look forward to knowing her better. But I confess that we are rather distraught to learn of your bonding to a youkai, Mitsuko,” He paused, his chiseled features growing more stern though his voice was still soft. “I cannot understand what would possess you to commit such a deed.”

Botan's skin flushed red at the rebuke but she kept her voice even. “I fell in love with Kurama... not because he was a demon, but because he loves and cares about me. He's risked his life for me on numerous occasions and is a good and honorable man. I could not help but to fall in love with him.”

Norio and Mayumi shared a look then before the queen gave her opinion on the matter. “Be that as it may, as the heir to the kingdom of the north, you must understand that such a union is forbidden.”

“Then I suppose it's a good thing that I do not wish to claim any titles or any thrones.” Botan countered with more heat in her voice, growing agitated at her grandparents attitude.

The strength in her voice and her conviction impressed Mayumi, even if she thought it foolish. “We do not mean to upset you,” The queen began, interjecting before her husband could protest, her hand on his arm to keep him silent. “We are merely concerned over your welfare. By now you must be aware that it was a youkai that killed your father. We simply wish for you to not suffer the same fate as our son did long ago.”

“I understand your concern,” Botan replied. “But Kurama would never hurt me.”

“Are you absolutely sure about that?” The queen asked. “Do you truly trust this... Kurama... to keep you safe? Even if he is a good youkai.. Most of his kind are not.”

“There are those who are vicious and evil,” Botan conceded. “But the same could be said of those in Ningenkai and in Reikai. The darkness in people's souls isn't regulated strictly to Makai, no matter what lies Enma told you.”

“Botan is correct,” Kasumi said, drawing everyone's attention to her. “Enma committed several crimes during his reign in the south, including orchestrating the death of Satoru.”

“How did you come by that information?” Norio asked, surprised at this development.

“A former SDF captain began an investigation into Enma's dealings and found documents pertaining to his dealings with Makai to assassinate Satoru so that Enma could have Mizuki to himself,” She paused, looking over at the ferry girl. “We do not know what happened to my sister but my husband had me jailed and brought Botan to the palace to be raised by my son as a ferry girl.” Turning back to Norio and Mayumi she added, “So the anger you feel over your son's death should be directed an Enma... not at the entirety of one race of people.”

The king and queen shifted a bit, unease filling them at this news. “That is most distressing to hear. We were informed that Koenma had usurped Enma's throne in some sort of power play. There was no mention of any plot surrounding Satoru's death.”

“That is why you should stop listening to your court.” Kasumi nearly snapped, calming herself at her father's stern look.

“My daughter has been through much in the past 100 years, so please forgive her tone,” Torvald said, trying to soothe over the growing tension in the room. “But what she said is the truth, no matter how strange it may seem.”

Norio frowned, wanting answers as he asked, “What is being done to find Enma?”

“My son has a plan but needs the help of the detectives to carry it out and bring Enma back to Reikai to face justice.” Kasumi answered.

“Detectives?” The queen murmured, studying the lady in confusion.

“A group of men who reside in Ningenkai,” Kasumi explained. “They solve crimes involving youkai, humans, and even reigens for Spirit World. However, due to my husband's plotting, they are currently on different sides of a growing conflict in Makai. Until this conflict is resolved, Enma remains at large.”

“I see... This is rather shocking... to think Enma was behind everything that happened a 100 years ago.”

“It is rather troubling but nonetheless it is the truth,” Torvald repeated in an insistent tone. “So you should not hold it against Mitsuko for her choice of husband.”

“Husband?” Mayumi murmured, studying the girl critically. “You're already married to him?”

Botan flinched at the harsh tone in the queen's voice. “Um... not exactly... though the bonding mark is equal to that of marriage in Makai.... So we are not married in the traditional sense...” She blushed suddenly, murmuring. “And he's only 16 in his human form.... so it's not like we could get married right now anyway.”

Mayumi ignored the comment of the youkai's human age, more distressed with the idea of her granddaughter's intention to marry a youkai, knowing what would come of it. “So you do not plan to remain in Reikai?”

“Well, I am of this world but my place is with Kurama. So where he goes, I go.”

Mayumi's heart fell at the girl's response, knowing what would come of it but relaxed her features. “We can discuss such matters at a different time. Today is a day of celebration.”

“I agree,” Norio commented. “Mitsuko was lost to us... and is now found... I hope for many more celebrations,” He paused, holding up two books, one blue and the other brown. “These items belonged to your father.” The king handed the books carefully to Torvald who passed them down and Botan accepted them with careful touch.

“The blue album contains photos of Satoru as a child up to his death...” Norio explained. “And the brown book is one of your father's journals. They should help you gain a better understanding of the kind of man your father was.”

Botan looked down at the books, an eagerness in her eyes as she spoke. “I am excited to read and look at them, grandfather.”

Her enthusiasm soothed the unease in his mind and heart and he flashed a genuine smile before turning to Torvald. “So what will the celebration for Mitsuko's birthday entail?”

Torvald gave a detailed plan of the night's events, including a feast, music, and fireworks to commemorate the ferry girl's 105 birthday and the group departed to prepare for the evening, Botan included and she headed up to her room, going straight to her desk. She sat down, opening the photo album first, excited to see what her father looked like. His hair was as blue as Norio's but he had the queen's smoky gray eyes. She found him adorable as a child and with each page she turned, she witnessed her father grow into a very handsome adult. Botan paused, gasping at the sight of the next photo, finding the prince of the north posing with a breathtakingly beautiful woman with wavy blond hair and vibrantly purple eyes. The facial features so similar to her own that Botan felt tears well in her eyes.

Mother. A spark of memory burst in her mind, an image of her being torn away from her mother's arms, her mother screaming her name and Botan hissed as pain exploded in her skull. She dropped the album, clutching her head in an attempt to counteract the wave of dizziness that swirled in her mind. It took several moments before the pain subsided and she lowered her hands, letting out a shaky breath. She didn't want to keep on living like this. She wanted to know the truth; wanted to remember what happened to her mother. But any attempt to break through the mental block could harm her... to the point she lost her life or her sanity. And what if the block couldn't be broken? What would she do then? I have to stop thinking about this or I'll go crazy. She chided herself, rising from the desk and she exited the room, heading for the palace seamstress to be fitted for her evening attire.

The northern wing of Karu Palace

The king and queen stood inside their room and Norio talked in soft tones to the tall and lanky green haired male before them. “I want you to keep an eye on my granddaughter, Atsushi. She is not to be harmed but I trust you will know what to do when the time comes.”

“Of course, my lord. I will not fail you or Matsu.” Atsushi replied, his golden eyes focused on the green ones of his king.

“I know you won't, Atsushi. I am counting on your skill to do what must be done,” Norio said, straightening his frame. “Til then, you must take great care. And prepare for the party, yes?”

“Yes, my king.” Atsushi said with a low bow before exiting the room.

“Do you think this is the right thing to do, husband?” Mayumi whispered, moving to stand next to the king. “Mitsuko is our granddaughter after all... despite her desire for a demon, she has a heart and this will break it.”

“I am doing what must be done, Mayumi,” Norio began, looking away from his wife towards the door. “What I feel is right and what is right are two different things.”

The queen sighed. “She will hate us for this, you know that, don't you?”

“Yes...” Norio whispered. “But it cannot be helped... You know as well as I what will become of the north if Mitsuko is allowed to have her way. We cannot let the realm fall into the hands of a youkai... no matter how noble that youkai might be. Do you not agree?”

“I agree... but is there no other way?” Mayuri asked, watching as her husband headed towards the door.

“No... there isn't.” The king replied, opening the door, closing it quietly behind him, heading down the stairs, leaving his wife alone as he made to prepare for the party.

December 24, 1993 Water Garden of the Karu Palace

The party was in full swing, the sound of laughter and chatter floating in the air as revelers danced in time to the beat of the music that continued to play in honor of the ferry girl. Botan spoke little, the unfamiliar faces driving her to stand near the edge of the pond. She had hoped Koenma would have at least shown up for the party but Kasumi had told her with the uncertainty of the south's situation, the spirit prince had decided to remain at home, not wanting to cause any friction between the two houses. But he could at least have sent Ayame or someone to represent the south. She sighed, focusing her gaze on the slivers of white light dancing on the surface, the white lilies reminding her of Kurama's garden. I wish he was here right now.

“Would you care to dance, my lady?”

Botan turned, her eyes falling on the form of a rather handsome young male. His dark green hair was long and tied back in a low ponytail much like the king's and his eyes were an unusual shade of gold, nearly glowing in the darkness that surrounded them. “I thank you but no... I'm not... in the mood to dance right now.”

The man tilted his head to the side. “It is my lady's birthday today... she should not be unhappy in this fact.”

He had a curious way of speaking and she found his voice was rather pleasant and she relaxed a bit, voice softening. “I am not unhappy... but I know very few people here and the one I love is far away.”

“Then perhaps my lady would care to go and meet some of the people here. I can introduce you to the many who are eager to speak with you and get to know you better.”

Botan thought over his words, finding herself agreeing with his proposition. “May I ask your name?”

“Atsushi, my lady.” The man answered, holding out his arm for her to take.

The ferry girl hesitated for a few seconds before resting her hand on his forearm, walking with him as he introduced her to several of the attendants to the king and queen and it wasn't long until Botan was smiling and conversing with her new acquaintances. She accepted a dance from Atsushi, moving with him as he guided her around, his steps graceful and timed perfectly to the rhythm of the music. “You dance quite well, Atsushi.”

“Thank you, my lady,” The male replied softly. “You're a rather good dancer as well.”

“I... thank you...” Botan murmured, feeling a bit of a blush on her cheeks. His voice was melodic and she liked it more than she wanted to admit and quickly changed the subject. “So what is it you do in Matsu, if I may ask?”

“I am King Norio's man at arms.” Atsushi answered as he twirled her away from the main cluster of dancers.

“My grandfather has need of armed men?”

“His position requires it. After what happened to prince Satoru, we became an armed province... ready to fight in case of youkai invasion.”

“I don't think you need to worry about that,” Botan said softly. “Makai is too busy worrying about itself to care what happens here.”

“So I've heard... The demons are fighting among each other. If we're lucky, they'll wipe each other out and we'll never have to deal with any youkai again.”

Botan bristled at his comment, not liking his attitude in regards to youkai and she pulled away from him, voice strained as she spoke. “Excuse me...”

Atsushi frowned but let her go, sensing her anger at his statement as he watched her stalk off. Interesting... she reacts easily to emotional triggers... that could come in handy later on.

The ferry girl walked away from the party and headed over to the edge of the pond, trying to calm her irritation. The nerve! As if he's ever even met a demon, let alone been to Makai! Her brow furrowed and she let out a breath. I could have handled it better than I did. And it wasn't as if she would have to deal with these people much longer.

“Are you alright, Botan?”

The ferry girl turned at the sound of Kasumi's voice. “Yes, I'm fine. I just... I didn't like what my grandfather's man at arms said about youkai. I let my own... feelings get in the way of diplomacy... I should have controlled my emotions better.”

The lady studied her niece for a few seconds before casting her eyes out towards the pond. “People hate what they don't understand. And Reikai has been isolationist in its policies for some time. Few if any of the people here have even met a demon, let alone fought one. They know only what they've been taught, but you've interacted with countless youkai and come away with a different perspective,” She looked back over at the ferry girl. “Your love of Kurama causes you to want to defend his people from the close minded views of the those here but as I said before, it will take time for those in Spirit World to let go of preconceived notions.”

“I know,” Botan murmured. “Still, I could have handled it better.”

Kasumi smiled. “Well, I wouldn't worry about it, tonight, Botan. Now is the time for celebration and merriment. So why don't we see what the rest of the family is up to, hmm?”

Botan smiled and nodded, flashing a bubbly smile. “Sounds like a plan!”

The two women walked back to the party and the ferry girl spent the next few hours conversing with her grandparents and a few other reigens. Fireworks concluded the evening events, the crowd oohing and awwing as colorful bursts of light exploded high above and the party goers retired to their designated rooms throughout the estate. Botan thanked everyone for coming before heading to her own room. The day had been long and she was in need of rest. Stripping out of her kimono, the ferry girl slid on her pajamas and crawled into bed. She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling, her thoughts revolving around today's events.

The arrival of her paternal grandparents had gone more smoothly than she thought and the ferry girl had learned much about her father through his journal. To see him in the many pictures of his life cleared up some of the mystery of who he was and what he looked like. And her mother... To see the love and happiness in her eyes being close to her father brought a warmth to her soul and joy to her heart that she hadn't felt in a long while. Her family... they were in love with each other... she saw it in their eyes... A love that only two people bonded at the spiritual level could ever possibly achieve. A love like she felt and shared with Kurama.

Her features fell at the thought of her beloved. She missed him and longed to see him once more. The attitude of her father's parents not withstanding, she was glad to have met them and learned from them. But in a few days they would return to their home. And I will return to mine. She smiled and shifted to her side, nestling her head into the pillow before closing her eyes, drawn into the realm of dreams where Kurama awaited her and nobody sought to tear them apart.

December 29, 1993 Karu Palace

Botan sat between Kasumi and Atsushi in the palace dining hall, frustrated at her current situation. Ever since that night in the water garden, the Matsu man at arms had watched her like a hawk; wherever she went, he followed and it was rather annoying. The ferry girl remained civil towards Atsushi to pacify her paternal grandfather who feigned concerned at her physical well being. Botan,however, was not fooled at Atsushi's attempts at friendly conversation. Though his voice was pleasing to her ear, the words could not penetrate the walls around her heart. I will not fall for pretty words and promises. I love Kurama and that won't change, no matter what they say or do.

“You're rather quiet this evening, Botan,” Kasumi murmured, drawing the girl's attention to her. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing is really wrong... it's just... I miss Kurama,” Botan whispered. “Today is his birthday and I'm not there to celebrate it with him,” She looked down at her plate. “I haven't spoken to him since our departure from the south. He must be very worried about me.”

“Just as you are of him?”

Botan nodded. “Yes. I've never felt such an intense longing to leave this place as I do now. My body wants to flee but my mind know that I cannot... I feel rather... torn.” She lifted her head to look over to the lady. “Is that weird?”

“No,” Kasumi replied with a soft smile. “It's perfectly normal when you're in love and separated to want to be with your significant other. But you mustn't worry so much. You'll see Kurama in a few days and your time here will be but a distant memory.”

“It's not that I dislike being here,” Botan began, feeling a bit of guilt at her desire to leave for Human World. “It's beautiful and I have learned so much about my family in the time I've spent around my grandparents. But my home is to the south and in Ningenkai with Kurama. And his home is with me. Being away from him hurts...” She lifted her hand, resting it over her heart. “The pain is so great sometimes it literally takes my breath away.”

Kasumi frowned. “Your love Kurama dearly, I know. To be away from your beloved takes a toll on your heart and your spirit. I felt that once... long ago... Before I learned the truth of my husband's betrayal.”

Botan lowered her hand back to her side. “I'm sorry. Here I am talking about my heart and yours was broken by the one you loved the most.”

“There is no need to apologize, Botan. I learned to steel my spine and harden my heart. I grew strength in the pain and drew on that power when I faced him,” Kasumi replied in with a slightly bitter tone, voice softening when she saw the deity flinch. “But you will not have to experience that kind of pain with Kurama. He will never leave you or run away from his feelings. He loves you with a fierceness rivaled only by his loyalty and devotion to you. I feel the strength of his love for you in that mark you carry,” She added, motioning towards the girl's left shoulder. “He chose you, Botan. You carry his mark. No one can take that from you or render your love asunder.”

Botan felt the faint pulse of the kitsune's ki grow stronger and a warm smile lit up her face. Though far away, she could sense his spiritual presence and drew comfort at the knowledge that strength of that power underneath her skin. He had chosen her and her alone. Just as she had chosen him. “I know he loves me... I feel it in my heart... and with my body. Once my grandparents depart, I will return to Ningenkai to be with him.”

Kasumi tilted her head to the side. “So are you going to give up your position as head ferry girl?”

Botan blinked, drawn out of her muse. “I do enjoy my job and I will probably return to it... But eventually I want to settle down with Kurama and I don't know if I can do that and work for Koenma at the same time.”

“True... but seeing as the youkai is still a teen in his human body, settling down will be years away for you.”

“I know and I want to keep working. But at some point in time I would like to retire and remain in the Human World with Kurama.” The ferry girl murmured, reaching out to grab the goblet in front of her, lifting it to her lips to take a measured sip of wine, lowering it when she felt a pair of eyes on her. She turned her head, finding Atsushi whispering something to Mayumi, watching as the queen's features shifted to a look of disappointment. Neither reigen looked back towards Botan and her brow furrowed. What it possible the man at arms had been eavesdropping on her conversation with Kasumi?

A bell went off, signaling the meal was ready to be served and Botan drew her gaze forward, ignoring the conversations that flared around her, her mind elsewhere as she wondered how the kitsune was doing and if he was missing her as much as she missed him.

December 29, 1993 Ningenkai Minamino Residence

Kurama stood on the first floor roof of his home, his eyes transfixed on the starlight sky but his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Botan. It had been over a month since he'd last been in the presence of his beloved and the emptiness in his soul was starting to take a toll on his life. His rational mind understood that Botan needed time to spend with her new family. But the lack of contact and uncertainty of her well being troubled him greatly. What if something had happened to her? What if her family refused to accept her because of the mark she bore with his ki? Sadness and irritation crossed his features and he lowered, berating himself. I should have controlled myself better and waited to mark her. But I didn't... I let my desire override my mind and claimed her. And now she was far away... dealing with people who would judge her... hate her... scorn her... The thought of the deity suffering because of her love for him made Kurama all the more frustrated and depressed. I am sorry, my love. So sorry for what I've done.

“Shuichi?”

The kitsune turned at the sound of his step brother's voice, forcing down the rising tide of negative emotions brewing in his heart and mind, not wanting his brother to see the pain he was in, a mask of calm sliding down his face as he called out in a soft and even voice, “I'm out here, Suichi.” He watched as the younger male walked over to the window.

“What are you doing outside? Isn't it a bit cold?”

“I didn't really notice, but you're right it is cold out tonight.” Kurama murmured, shivering a bit as a cold wind swept through, though he remained standing outside.

The brown haired boy tilted his head as he studied his step brother. Ever since Botan had returned to her home, the redhead had seemed withdrawn and more reserved than usual. Though, Suichi had no really experience with the matters of the heart, he knew his brother missed Botan. I miss her too. He thought as he spoke, “A bummer that Botan couldn't be here for your birthday, Shuichi. But I bet if she could, she'd be here right now.”

Kurama flinched at the mention of the deity's name, his gaze shifting back to the stars above. “Yes,” He answered softly. “I imagine she would be here if she could... but she's far away with her family... and will be unable to come visit for some time.”

“You would think she'd at least call or something... but I guess it's hard to where she's at, right?”

If you only knew how far away she really was. Kurama commented silently. “She'll contact me soon, Suichi.”

There was a business like tone to his brother's voice that bothered the younger male. “Don't you miss her, Shuichi?”

Kurama's mask fractured, eyes full of pain as he kept his gaze skyward, his tone softening and tinged with sadness. “I miss her all the time... I love her. I will always love her. I know she will return to me... but the waiting is rather... difficult at times to deal with.”

“Shuichi? Suichi? It's time to leave.”

Both boys turned their heads towards the open door of the kitsune's room, finding Shiori poking her head inside. “Are you ready to go?”

“Of course mother, we'll be right down.” Kurama answered, climbing through the window when Suichi backed up to give him room. Straightening his frame, a mask of calm seizing hold of his face as he flashed a gentle smile at his younger brother. “Shall we go then?”

Suichi nodded, returning his gently smile with a happy one, knowing his brother was hurting and trying to hide it and had enough sense to play along. “Sounds good to me!”

The two boys headed downstairs, meeting up with their parents and they headed out the door, walking to the train station that would take them into the city.

Later that evening, Kurama lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling as he usually did. He missed the warmth of Botan at his side; the softness of her skin against his when she snuggled against him; the sound of her breathing and the gentle beating of her heart as she rested. The scent of her still lingered on his pillows and it made him yearn even more for her. The light and laughter that filled his room had died. Replaced with a cold emptiness that made his heart hurt. Shadows passed in his mind, pain giving way to depression and he felt an intense longing for his ferry girl. But I cannot be with her. Even if I were to go to Reikai and find her, I would only cause her more problems. Unable to sleep, Kurama threw off the blankets and rose, strolling over to the window. Reaching out, he pulled open the curtains, his gaze falling on the sliver of moon visible in the darkened sky. Was she awake right now too? Was she thinking about him as he thought about her? I know you cannot hear me, Botan, but I want you to know I love you and I miss you. I've been... lonely... without your presence... it hurts, peony... it hurts being away from you... I feel like I'm... fading... sleep eludes me... the darkness grows stronger... and I fear... I'm becoming more like my old self... distant... cool... reserved... your light chased away the darkness in me... I need that light now, love... I need you at my side... Kurama closed his eyes, resting his forehead against the glass, the cold touch jarring, though he cared not for his own comfort at the moment. “Come back to me, Botan... Come home...” He whispered in the dark, wishing the girl could hear and answer his pleas.

December 29, 1993 Reikai Karu Palace

Botan lay awake in bed, the voice of Kurama ringing in her head, his plea for her to return to him heart wrenching. At first she thought it was merely her longing that caused her to imagine him in her mind but the pain flaring in her heart and soul was too real to ignore. She wanted to run to him then, to ease his suffering. But I can't. Not yet. I still have a few days before I can return home. Unable to sleep, Botan sat up, tossing the covers off her legs and slid out of bed. Heading over to the clothing drawer, the ferry girl opened it and pulled out a purple kimono, slipping the silken material over her pjs before exiting her room.

The palace was quiet and the inhabitants sound asleep as she crept down the stairs then out the side entrance. Once outside, Botan paused, eyes roaming the darkness to make sure she wasn't being followed before veering right down the flame lit path that led away from the palace. The fabric of her kimono fluttered in the wind and Botan tightened her obi, drawn to the warm light that illuminated the darkness as she stepped into the Karu Palace Fire Garden. The ferry girl passed the large red fire urns that lined the matching stone paths, eyes drawn to the various sculptures of dancing women, their skirts swirling with a living flame that remained contained with the metal work.

The path weaved through a forest of trees made of some kind of glass-like materiel, gold, green, blue, and red flame flickering within the confines of elaboratly sculpted branches and Botan paused to admire the display of light. It was all so wondrous and she found comfort her in this strange garden. Continuing on, she cut a path through the reigen made creation, coming to a stop in the center of a circle pattern of golden stone and white fire urns. Her eyes studied the red and orange fire dancing in undulating patterns above a series of large white vases and a sudden warmth washed over her lithe frame as she lifted her gaze to the starlit sky.

Kurama. She thought sadly. It had to have hurt him today, knowing it was his birthday and she was nowhere to be found. No wonder his voice reached me... he really is in pain over our separation. He was unlike any man she'd ever met. Kind, generous, loving... but there was a side of him that was ruthless, cunning, and beyond powerful. He was both Shuichi and Youko and she loved him with all her heart. She closed her eyes, visions of Kurama flooding her mind and her lips parted, love and longing in her voice as she began to sing:

You're not a stranger to me
And you... well you're something to see
You don't even know how to plead
You say a lot...but you're unaware how to leave

My darling lives in a world that is not mine
An old child... misunderstood...out of time
Timeless is the creature who is wise
And timeless is the prisoner in disguise

Oh who is the beauty?...who the beast?
Would you die of grieving when I leave?
Two children too blind to see
I would fall in your shadow...I believe

My love is a man who's not been tamed
Ohh...my love lives in a world of false pleasure and pain
We come from different worlds...we are the same (my love)
I never doubted your beauty...
I've changed
I never doubted your beauty...
I've changed

Changed...who is the beauty?
Where is my beast? (my love)
There is no beauty
Without my beast (my love)

Who is the beauty?
Who... (my love)
Ahhh...
Oh...la bete...la bete
Where is my beast?

My beauty...my beauty
My beautiful...beautiful...beautiful
Beautiful beast.

Botan's eyes fluttered open, the crackle of the fire around her the lone sound as her voice died out. She tilted her head back, studying the stars once more, emotions swirling within her heart as she thought of the one most precious to her. I wish you could hear me, Kurama. I wish I could tell you how much I love you. Just be patient a little bit longer, koi, and I will be with you soon. I promise.

A shorter chapter and I still haven't gotten to the main YYH plot yet. It is rather tedious to write about grandparents and their thoughts and feelings but I had to do it. And with so few reviews it seems not many people care enough to take the time to comment anymore so it really kills my motivation and my enthusiasm for this story. I will probably end this one within a few chapters. I may or may not do a sequel depending on interest. So if you want me to continue, tell me in a review. The song Botan sings is called Beauty and the Beast by Stevie Nicks and fits perfectly with Kurama in my opinion.