Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ If Roses Are Dark ❯ And You Give (Me a Second Chance) ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing Yuu Yuu Hakusho related except for about seven tapes of English dubs, seven DVDs, and one wall scroll.

Part II of the Silver Obsidian series

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And You Give (Me a Second Chance)

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~Kurama~

"Kurama…"

"Hai, Hiei?" Kurama smiled gently, gazing down at Hiei through half-lidded eyes. Hiei looked away, his face tinted.

"…Ai shiteru…"

"I know," Kurama whispered soothingly, squeezing Hiei's hand slightly. "It's okay, Hiei. You can tell me whatever you need to."

"…Kurama…" Hiei began, trying to force himself to reveal his thoughts to the kitsune. "It's okay. …Tell me whatever you need to." "It's okay." "It's okay." "It's okay."

Kurama looked down at the floor, trying to give Hiei a small bit of privacy.

"Kurama, I…" he trailed off.

"Tell me when you're ready, Hiei, and not before," Kurama murmured. "I can wait."

"I can wait." "I can wait." "I can wait."

"Please won't you love me back…"

Kurama couldn't help himself, sitting up straight and looking out at the wall. Hiei himself was slightly surprised at the innocent ring to his tone, the almost pleading need behind it. He felt, and was sure he looked, like the small child he had accused Kurama of thinking him.

"Hiei, I…"

"…Don't love you," Hiei finished, just the way he had the last time he had asked Kurama to love him. "It's - I-"

But he couldn't bring himself to say it. It wasn't okay, Kurama knew, and he was the only one who could do something - anything - about it.

"No, Hiei… I…I can't-"

"Please, Kurama," Hiei interrupted, "don't finish."

In a flash, he was up, perching precariously on the sill behind the bed. "…I can't bring myself to hear it."

He didn't really just say that. He didn't.

Oh, gods, he did…

"Romantic…"

"Hiei, no - I-"

Hiei was gone.

"DAMMIT!"

Kurama pounded on his bed, cracking the headboard and hearing the springs creak. He didn't care. It didn't matter.

Very little mattered anymore, and the one who did had just fled out the window.

* * * * *

~Hiei~

He ran faster than he thought he'd ever run before, flying on the wind and only vaguely aware of his surroundings and location. He had to get away from Kurama, and he had to do it now. Not only had the kitsune's feelings - or rather, the lack thereof - been confirmed, but he had tried to cover it with some sort of explanation.

Hiei wanted no explanation. He wanted Kurama, and if he couldn't have him, he would flee, no questions asked.

He would take three days or so to himself in Makai, at the least, before returning to Ningenkai. Maybe more. Three weeks at most.

As he flew on the night wind, tormented thoughts burst forth, threatening to overcome him, but he fiercely pushed them away. Too many appeared, though, and he couldn't combat them all.

He loved the fox, loved him so much…

Never known this sort of love before, can't let it get away…

Kurama holds your heart in his hands, he can do whatever he pleases…

Kurama doesn't take lovers, he uses them…

You can't tell him everything, he'll betray you like all the others…

NO!

Hiei stopped short at Genkai's temple, wavering slightly, coat spinning round his legs. He took a breath and turned to the only person he could think of to count on.

"YUKINA!"

After a long moment, his twin opened the door and trotted out, giving him a wide smile and bowing. "Hiei-kun!" she cried, stepping closer to him. "How are you doing? What did you come here for?"

"I came to see you," he replied calmly, the smallest hint of a smile gracing his own face. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm doing quite well, Hiei-kun, but-" Yukina paused, as though searching for the right words. "That isn't the whole reason you're here, is it?"

He turned away to look at the ground, and shook his head. "Iie, Yukina, I do have something to ask you."

"Come sit inside, then," Yukina offered, "I have tea ready there. Genkai-san is away, so the temple is empty except for me."

Nodding, Hiei walked behind her to the table inside and knelt on a cushion sitting there.

"Now," she began again, pouring two cups of the steaming liquid, "what is it that's wrong, Hiei-kun?"

"Yukina, you knew your mother well, correct?" Hiei began, stopping himself just short of saying "our mother." Yukina nodded.

"And you loved her as she loved you."

Yukina nodded again, looking slightly confused. "Is this about someone you love?" she asked tentatively, knowing that if it was, Hiei probably wouldn't be very open to talking about it.

Hiei paused, longer this time, looking at his mug as he drank. When the cup was drained, he replaced it on the table and continued looking away from Yukina, this time focusing on the table.

When he finally spoke, it was blunt and perhaps colder than he'd intended. "Yes."

"Who is it?" she asked kindly, in that sweet manner both she and Kurama had perfected.

Once he had begun, it was difficult to stop. "Kurama."

Yukina smiled. "And I suppose, from what you've asked, you don't think he loves you too."

"He doesn't. That much it true."

Yukina only smiled.

* * * * *

~Kurama~

Kurama slept most of Sunday morning off, ignoring his alarm clock blasting at him at seven AM. Hiei was gone and Hiei hated him and Hiei was never coming back and nothing was worthwhile anymore and…

And everything was wicked.

He finally rolled over to the familiar ringing of the telephone, picking it up and answering calmly and coherently, despite too much sleep.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Oi, Kurama, it's Yuusuke," came the chipper reply. "Guess what?"

"You and Keiko-chan are getting married," Kurama answered sarcastically.

"Yeah, rig - OI! Not funny!" Yuusuke snapped. "No, actually, we have a mission."

Kurama groaned.

"Aw, it's not bad," Yuusuke consoled. "It's routine. There's no stronghold or castle or anything to get through; he's just really strong. We have to stop him from doing damage to Ningenkai, that's all."

"Mm-hm," Kurama replied, shaking his head.

"Can you get a hold of Hiei?" Yuusuke asked. "We can't find him and I don't really want to try."

"Sure," Kurama said, putting on the fake, perky tone he used in school. "No problem. I'll find him and we'll be at your house in a few hours. Or less."

"Yoroshii. Ja!"

"Ja, Yuusuke," Kurama returned softly, hanging up the phone.

Finding Hiei. What fun. Especially now that the little Jaganshi had so misinterpreted his attempt at revealing his love.

Best be on his way, though, Kurama supposed. Delay would do nothing for his brittle nerves.

Perhaps he ought to begin his search at Genkai's temple. Hiei often resided in the lone tree growing in her yard, not to mention the fact that Yukina was there and she would be the first person Hiei would go to for strength.

Walking to the door and kicking on his shoes, Kurama left his apartment, running just faster than a normal human could towards Genkai's.

* * * * *

~Hiei~

Talking with Yukina, all his problems suddenly seemed less…problematic. Kurama was no longer his first concern, and love was a triviality he had survived without long before the kitsune. Yukina was happy, and all was right with the world.

True, she had eluded to her visions that Kurama might love Hiei more than he thought, but didn't mention them directly, and Hiei was grateful. He didn't want to humor the possibility of Kurama actually loving him romantically, and keeping it from being said made it easier to shun. Yukina must have noticed this, he thought, but she continued to dance around it, and he, in turn, ignored her hints.

"Hiei-kun, where are you going after you leave here?" she asked placidly. "You can't be going back to Kurama's - or at least, I assume not - so what will you do?"

He smiled inwardly at his plans. "Makai."

She started, sitting up a little straighter, eyes a little wider. "Makai? Hiei-kun, you - you're not seriously going through with that - youkai there know of your connections to Reikai, to Yuusuke, and you can't-"

He put up a hand to stem the flow of protests and smiled at her. "Yukina-chan. It's alright. I can take care of myself there. It won't be a problem, and there's no need for you to worry." Though it's nice to know someone will.

"Mm-hm… I suppose so, but promise me something?"

He tilted his head slightly.

"Promise me you'll be careful?"

Another smile, slightly laughing. "I promise I'll be careful, Yukina."

* * * * *

~Kurama~

"Goodbye - be careful."

"Don't worry."

"I'll try."

Kurama flew up the steps, gaining speed rather than losing it, and arrived just in time to see Yukina re-entering the temple after a discussion with, he assumed from the voices he had heard, Hiei.

"Yukina-chan," he said warmly, bowing slightly as she turned around.

"Hm? Oh! Kurama-kun! Irasshai," she replied, bowing as well. "I'm afraid you've just missed Hiei, though."

"Yes, I noticed," he said, smiling. "Do you know where he's gone to?"

She shifted slightly, brushing back her hair and turning her gaze to the ground. He looked her over concernedly, wondering what was so wrong with his question. "Yukina-chan?"

"Ah - yes, he went…he went to Makai."

Kurama looked away as well, shaking his head slightly. "I thought he might." Dammit. Why does he have to make this so difficult?

Part of it's your own fault, of course.

…It is, isn't it?

It is.

Of course…

"…Kurama-kun?"

"Ah! Yes, Yukina-chan. How rude of me," he covered with a shy smile. "Gomen ne, I must have missed - what did you say?"

To his relief, she smiled in response. " I only asked if you came to see him, or me."

"Oh. Actually, I did come to see him. Or more accurately, to inform him that we have just been assigned another mission, and Yuusuke asked me to find him. But I suppose, now that he's gone, we'll have to get by without him, won't we?"

Yukina looked at him kindly. "I'm sure you could ask Koenma to find him, couldn't you? After all, he's only just left, and there aren't many ways he could get there."

"Yes, of course," Kurama replied with a nod. "I'll go ask Koenma now. Arigatou."

"Of course."

Kurama smiled as he left.

You always give me a reason to hope, don't you, Hiei? You've gone, left us for perhaps a month, or more, spent in Makai, and yet, you care - I know you care - and so I have reason to hope you'll return.

Perhaps we'll have to search for you, perhaps it will take too long, but we will find you, someday. Someday you'll return, and we'll find you again, and so I have reason to hope. You give Youko a chance at love, Hiei, you heal a broken heart, and because of that, I know you'll return and I'll find you.

"Happily ever after" does happen sometimes, doesn't it?

It does, Hiei, and I know if we give it a chance, it can happen now.

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Ai shiteru: I love you

Yoroshii: Okay

Irasshai: Welcome

Gomen ne: I'm sorry

Arigatou: Thank you