Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Losing My Will. ❯ WHy Do These Memoires Haunt Me? ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Just a little something i just thought up and wanted toget down
Disclaimers:Not mine sorry
Warnings:It will have a death
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My long red hair blows past my face as i walk home. I know my mother has been terrible worried after myself being gone for so long. As i walk i look around at everything around me. He still is here.
Its in that tree by the park where i used to find him. Or The ice cream palor we went to. Even in the park where we had picnic and other things lovers and friends do. He is still all around me.
The day we became more than friends plays in my mind. Then comes the first time we made love. THen my mind travels down to all the promise made and fullfilled to those that will never be. It is those that hurt the worst.
As another tear falls from my eyes i go inside my mothers home. For i cannot bear to return to my apartment. Not tonight. I talk to them and play the good son. I have that part down.
My mother lets me have my old room for the night. How kind of her. Honestly as i go in a part of me for a secound see's a dark shadow by my window. I blink its gone. Gone. Yes he is gone. Never to return to me. For now the once heartless theif is alone. With this i go lay on my bed
As i lay there thoughts roll around. Then i begin to go over what lead to this distruction.
It all started at my work place. Everyone was talking about their love lives and exchanging stories. Mine have to stay sealed and shut. No one must no who claimed my heart and soul. He wanted it that way. I just went along. Anything to have that inclusive demon. We had been together for many years. Around ten. It was hard when he left for the Makai. Leaving me alone in the Ningenkai. But he came to vist me like clock work. He would spend a month in Makai then two here with me. Not very often would i join him in Makai. He never seemed like he wanted me to. Or maybe i turned a blind eye to it all. No matter it all ended tonight.
i shift in my bed and try to dream. It is hard to fall to a dreamless sleep. But after taking a makai herb i am there.in a blissful dream where he is still mine.
I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. My heart is beating in my chest. I look towards the window. I look to where he would be. Damn it!! How can i get over this? I..I cannot. I slam back down on my pillow once again fighting off tears. They threaten to overcome me. They threaten to invaide the lie that is my life now. I shut them tight and will them away. But they still stream down my face.
I get up and get a glass of water. My gaze takes in my mothers home. How it always was able to comfort me. No longer can. Everything is tainted. I go and get myself a bowl of ice cream and return to my room. My tears hit the creamy treat. My thoughts drift to another time. In this same place.
~~Flash back~~
Hiei came inside soaking wet. I smile at the smaller man. Trying to hid a giggle. Seeing that brave warrior all wet. He glares at me. Yet it holds no hatred. I can see the love shinning in his eyes.
"Fox, I am hungry."He says taking off his wet clothing.
My eyes feast on his slowly becoming naked skin. My heart rate races and my blood rises to certain places.
"Fox!' He says for who knows how many times. I blush.
"Hai, Hiei what can i help you with?" I said trying to hid my growing erection.
He smirks. Then advances towards me. He then gives me a passionte kiss. In his arms i feel as if i am home. This is where i was destined to be. My bliss is broken after a few moments.
"I am hungry fox. Feed me then you will get what you need"He says and goes to sit on my bed.
I lick my lips taking in his taste. I know that my palms have becoming sweaty. This is just how he is. Coming in here and setting my blood on fire. My soul, heart and body belonging to that foul tempered demon.
"WHat would you like to eat?" I ask him in a husky passion laced voice. His eyes grow to their softer look. He gives me a half smile.
"Sweet snow than you Kitsune. THat is all i want on this night." He says.
~~End of flashback~~
I throw the bowl against the wall. Sending the bowl into a hundred pieces and the ice cream splattered on the wall. Heavy angry tears make their way down my face. I grip my hands in fists and pound on the wall. I scream out his name and curse it. Waking up the family that resides in this home. My human mother walks in and tries to comfort me. I take no comfort. How can i? I no longer am whole. I am just a shell of who i used to be. Just some amusment casted aside now that a bigger more expensive toy can be played with.
I cry on her shoulder yet i am a thousand miles away. I am back into the Makai in that palace. Watching the man i love with all i am having sex with someone else. I know then why he never wants me around. He is trying to live two lives. THis one beening his first choice and his life with me being his Fling.
Was i not good enough?
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I know these are short. I am just trying to write it as much as i can. Its hard to write something this depressing!! I just hope i am making you feel his pain!! Reveiw and thanks.
************************************************************************ *************************************************************************** *************************************************************************** ********Ok um..how was it? Bad or good? Should i post the rest of forget it? .Please reveiw and let me know!.
Disclaimers:Not mine sorry
Warnings:It will have a death
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My long red hair blows past my face as i walk home. I know my mother has been terrible worried after myself being gone for so long. As i walk i look around at everything around me. He still is here.
Its in that tree by the park where i used to find him. Or The ice cream palor we went to. Even in the park where we had picnic and other things lovers and friends do. He is still all around me.
The day we became more than friends plays in my mind. Then comes the first time we made love. THen my mind travels down to all the promise made and fullfilled to those that will never be. It is those that hurt the worst.
As another tear falls from my eyes i go inside my mothers home. For i cannot bear to return to my apartment. Not tonight. I talk to them and play the good son. I have that part down.
My mother lets me have my old room for the night. How kind of her. Honestly as i go in a part of me for a secound see's a dark shadow by my window. I blink its gone. Gone. Yes he is gone. Never to return to me. For now the once heartless theif is alone. With this i go lay on my bed
As i lay there thoughts roll around. Then i begin to go over what lead to this distruction.
It all started at my work place. Everyone was talking about their love lives and exchanging stories. Mine have to stay sealed and shut. No one must no who claimed my heart and soul. He wanted it that way. I just went along. Anything to have that inclusive demon. We had been together for many years. Around ten. It was hard when he left for the Makai. Leaving me alone in the Ningenkai. But he came to vist me like clock work. He would spend a month in Makai then two here with me. Not very often would i join him in Makai. He never seemed like he wanted me to. Or maybe i turned a blind eye to it all. No matter it all ended tonight.
i shift in my bed and try to dream. It is hard to fall to a dreamless sleep. But after taking a makai herb i am there.in a blissful dream where he is still mine.
I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. My heart is beating in my chest. I look towards the window. I look to where he would be. Damn it!! How can i get over this? I..I cannot. I slam back down on my pillow once again fighting off tears. They threaten to overcome me. They threaten to invaide the lie that is my life now. I shut them tight and will them away. But they still stream down my face.
I get up and get a glass of water. My gaze takes in my mothers home. How it always was able to comfort me. No longer can. Everything is tainted. I go and get myself a bowl of ice cream and return to my room. My tears hit the creamy treat. My thoughts drift to another time. In this same place.
~~Flash back~~
Hiei came inside soaking wet. I smile at the smaller man. Trying to hid a giggle. Seeing that brave warrior all wet. He glares at me. Yet it holds no hatred. I can see the love shinning in his eyes.
"Fox, I am hungry."He says taking off his wet clothing.
My eyes feast on his slowly becoming naked skin. My heart rate races and my blood rises to certain places.
"Fox!' He says for who knows how many times. I blush.
"Hai, Hiei what can i help you with?" I said trying to hid my growing erection.
He smirks. Then advances towards me. He then gives me a passionte kiss. In his arms i feel as if i am home. This is where i was destined to be. My bliss is broken after a few moments.
"I am hungry fox. Feed me then you will get what you need"He says and goes to sit on my bed.
I lick my lips taking in his taste. I know that my palms have becoming sweaty. This is just how he is. Coming in here and setting my blood on fire. My soul, heart and body belonging to that foul tempered demon.
"WHat would you like to eat?" I ask him in a husky passion laced voice. His eyes grow to their softer look. He gives me a half smile.
"Sweet snow than you Kitsune. THat is all i want on this night." He says.
~~End of flashback~~
I throw the bowl against the wall. Sending the bowl into a hundred pieces and the ice cream splattered on the wall. Heavy angry tears make their way down my face. I grip my hands in fists and pound on the wall. I scream out his name and curse it. Waking up the family that resides in this home. My human mother walks in and tries to comfort me. I take no comfort. How can i? I no longer am whole. I am just a shell of who i used to be. Just some amusment casted aside now that a bigger more expensive toy can be played with.
I cry on her shoulder yet i am a thousand miles away. I am back into the Makai in that palace. Watching the man i love with all i am having sex with someone else. I know then why he never wants me around. He is trying to live two lives. THis one beening his first choice and his life with me being his Fling.
Was i not good enough?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know these are short. I am just trying to write it as much as i can. Its hard to write something this depressing!! I just hope i am making you feel his pain!! Reveiw and thanks.
************************************************************************ *************************************************************************** *************************************************************************** ********Ok um..how was it? Bad or good? Should i post the rest of forget it? .Please reveiw and let me know!.