Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Naughty Godlings and Demonic Pudding ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 2 )

To anyone who's wondering why in the three worlds the title mentions pudding: Well, I know there is absolutely no connection in this story to pudding, but it will have to do with their mission later on. Their mission will be described in chapter 2.

Naughty Godlings and Demonic Pudding
Chapter 1

The next week was, for the most part, a boring affair. Ainokami continuously spied on Botan and Hiei, his two latest victims, and recorded their progress in a journal. Unfortunately, it wasn't much progress, and it frustrated the god to no end.

Ainokami's Journal

Day 1:
The perfect subject for a love spell was spotted. Arrows have been shot, spells released, and I'm pleased to say that Hiei the fire demon and Botan the ferry girl are officially in love. This is much more fun that trying to get Koenma to fall in love with his ogres!

Day 2:
Neither subject could sleep well, due to the rather interesting dreams that plagued them throughout the night. Interesting note: Botan and Hiei can be considered either creative or just hentai. Hiei has been moping around a lot. I believe that he suspects he may be in love, but is firmly in denial. He's going to be troublesome... The ferry girl has no clue what her feelings are, and went about her ferrying as usual. She's quite confused since this is the first time in centuries she has felt this strong about someone.

Day 3:
Botan is even more confused now. She was so distracted that she accidentally sent a poor spirit into the deepest pit of hell so she was forced to take the day off. Thoughts of Hiei have been continuously dancing across her mind. I hope she will suspect her feelings are love, but somehow I doubt she could get a clue if she did a mating dance for a bunch of horny, teenaged, male clues full of love potion. Meanwhile, Hiei has avoided contact with anybody. All he did today was nap in his boring old tree all day.

Day 4:
Hiei and Botan met today with their other friends. No interaction whatsoever between them, though. In fact, Hiei just showed up for a few minutes, checked on his sister, and left! I believe they are still slowly realizing that this is love they are feeling, not just some temporary attraction. Unfortunately, they're very, VERY dimwitted when it comes to love. Foolish mortals!

Day 5:
Their obsession with each other has increased. They spent the remainder of the day distracting themselves- Botan ferried souls across the River Styx, and Hiei went to Makai for some private training. No fun at all.

Day 6:
Still working their lovesick butts off. They have pretty much realized they are in love, but are too shocked and embarrassed (or for Botan's case, scared) to do anything about it. BORING!

Day 7:
They met a second time with their other friends. Botan spoke no more than five words to Hiei when she asked him about his sister, and his reply was a strange 'hn' sound. They keep sneaking looks at each other, but otherwise, THEY HIDE THEIR FEELINGS TOO WELL! Normal for the demon, but wasn't the ferry girl a blabbermouth? There must be something I can do to cause them to do SOMETHING!

Day 8:
FINALLY! Something interesting has happened! The Reikai Tantai have been sent on a mission, and Botan has to come along! HAHA! Thank you Koenma for this marvelous turning point! Now they'll have to be together, and maybe their feelings will be revealed! But if not, then I'm sure I can help them along...

Botan flew on her trademark oar, going to a park in the ningen world to meet with the Spirit Detectives about their newest mission. Ever since Koenma informed her about it, she'd had butterflies in her stomach and felt as if she were walking on air. How is it possible to be so excited, yet so nervous about the same thing?

Every time she had met with the Spirit Detective group over the past week, she had felt the same way- an overwhelming mixture of nervousness, excitement, depression, and happiness all at once. And it wasn't so much the group she was with that made her feel like this, rather than a certain someone.

About a week ago, it had just hit her- Hiei was perfect. His reckless bad-boy attitude made watching him do the simplest things an exhilarating experience. He was such a master warrior that watching him fight was almost like watching a dance. His movements were so precise and deadly, not one ounce of energy went to waste. And his body...! Botan could go on forever about how great he was. It truly amazed her that he had yet to find a girlfriend.

Yes, he was indeed a marvelous being, and Botan had the good fortune to have met and fallen completely head-over-heels in love with him. There were only two problems. First, Botan was scared to death of his wrath, and second, he would never in a million years even consider loving Botan the way she loved him.

Still, Botan couldn't help but marvel at this flawless creature, even if she had to do so from afar. She felt like every time she saw him, her love intensified. However, although she loved to watch him, she tried her best to avoid him. Each time they met, Botan risked the chance of revealing her feelings. She could never do that! Never would she risk losing what friendship (if you could call it that) they had with one another.

Botan continued her flight as she tried her best to ignore the throbbing pain in her heart, a constant reminder that she would never be able to have the utterly perfect creature that is Hiei the fire demon.

Yusuke Urameshi wasn't the type of guy who liked to be kept waiting. Most of the time this wasn't much of a problem because he usually came late to any appointment he had and kept other people waiting on him. Yet, here he was with Kuwabara at the park, waiting for Kurama, Hiei, and Botan to show up.

"Dang it! They're already ten minutes late! Remind me to never come early for a mission!" Yusuke complained loudly.

Kuwabara, however, didn't mind waiting. In fact, he was excited about this new mission. Perhaps he could perform some amazing feat and prove once and for all that he was a better fighter than that shrimpy fire demon! Of course Kuwabara knew that he shouldn't have to prove anything, but the only person who ever believed in him was his dear Yukina. Too bad Hiei couldn't be more like her and say something nice rather than that annoying hn sound or demeaning insults to poor Kazuma.

"Where the heck is Kurama?! Isn't he usually here on time?" Yusuke's temper was steadily rising, and Kuwabara could tell.

"They'll be here soon, baka. Now would you shut up and stop complaining like some baby?"

"What, do you need silence to form a coherent thought in that miniature brain of yours?"

"Ura~meshi! Quit using big words you don't know!"

"Who says I don't know them?"

"Oh gimme a break! We both know that Keiko taught you what 'coherent' means!"

"Feh! Like you know what it means!"

"I do too know what it means!"

"Oh? Then give me the definition, smart guy!"

"...Eh... Just hold on a sec..." Kuwabara turned his back towards Yusuke and pulled out his pocket dictionary. He flipped through the pages rapidly, and paused a moment to ask, "Uh, how is that spelled?"

"Moron! You don't even know how to spell it!"

"So? You don't either!"

"Yes I do! It's spelled K-O-H-A-I-R-A-N-T!"

"Oh, okay..." Kuwabara looked up 'kohairant' in the dictionary, but didn't find anything. "It's not even in here, Urameshi no baka! You can't just use made up words!"

"But it's not made up! Here, gimme that!" Yusuke reached towards the taller boy to grab the dictionary, but Kuwabara wouldn't let him have it. "Give it to me, Kuwabaka!"

"No, you're gonna destroy it just like you did with my textbook!"

"Oh come on, that was an accident, and besides you don't even need it! When's the last time you went to school?!"

"Hmph, I go to school a lot more than you do!"

Yusuke glared at Kuwabara, and he glared back. After such an argument, it was almost a tradition for a brawl to follow. As the two boys were getting into a fighting stance, Botan zoomed into the scene on her oar. She quickly recognized the signs for an oncoming battle and decided to stop it, hoping to prevent any injuries to be had. Koenma would surely be mad at them if they injured each other after he told them they had a new mission, and Botan would rather not witness yet another one of Koenma's temper tantrums.

"Yusuke! Kuwabara! Don't start fighting before your mission has even started!"

At the sound of Botan's voice, both boys turned to look at her. Yusuke was glad to see that she at least decided to show up, and his mood lightened slightly. Now he just had to wait for the other two. Where were they? It wasn't surprising that Hiei was late, but Kurama was usually quite a punctual person.

Botan landed with ease on the ground and vanished her oar. Instead of wearing her usual kimono, she had ningen clothes to fit in with the surrounding environment. She was wearing a blue denim skirt with a hem that reached just a few inches short of her knees and a tight fitting t-shirt that would reveal her stomach every time she stretched. She had picked this outfit just for this occasion. After all, Botan had to look presentable in front of Hiei, though she doubted he would even notice.

Her mind set on finding her beloved fire demon, Botan looked around. They were in a secluded clearing in a park, picked as their meeting place since it was usually empty of ningens. The ferry girl saw Kuwabara and Yusuke, but no sign of the other two. "Where are Kurama and Hiei?"

"How should we know? We've been waiting for them for hours already!" Yusuke answered, his bad mood in full swing once again. Patience had never been one of his strong points.

"Aw, quit your complaining Urameshi! It's only been a few minutes!"

As the two delinquents argued, Botan began worrying. What if something had happened to Hiei? Her mind began imagining the strangest theories. What if he got lost? What if he were lying somewhere in Makai with fatal battle wounds, dying a slow painful death? What if he was already dead and had already been sentenced to eternity in the deepest, darkest pits of Reikai?

"Y-you said that they're late?" Botan asked uncertainly.

"Yeah! The perfect fox is actually late for once!"

"Late...?!" shrieked Botan. "Go look for them then! They could be DYING! What if they're already dead, huh? Then you're going to feel guilty that you didn't search for them! SO GO ALREADY!"

Kuwabara and Yusuke stared at her as if she were crazy.

"Geez, Botan, it's just a few minutes! Don't have a heart attack!" Yusuke exclaimed. Hadn't he just been complaining that they had to wait for hours?

"Yeah, Botan. Why are you so worried anyway?"

"Well, uh... That is..." Botan stuttered. She hadn't meant to show so much emotion. What if they found out that she liked Hiei? Without realizing it, a blush spread across her face. Both boys noticed this, and they exchanged a knowing look.

"You don't happen to like one of our resident demons, do you?" Yusuke assumed correctly. All thoughts of fighting and bad temperament vanished, replaced with curiosity.

Immediately, all thoughts and worries of Hiei's well being were consumed by horror that her secret had been found out. She knew that if she ever told Yusuke or Kuwabara, Hiei would most certainly hear about it within minutes. And then... Botan couldn't bear to think what might happen if Hiei knew! Her blush intensified several times.

"N-no..." she answered weakly.

Noticing even more redness staining her face, the two didn't take her answer as the truth. Kuwabara could hardly believe it. Botan liked either Hiei or Kurama! Since he knew it was obviously not going to be Hiei, it must be...

Kuwabara asked knowingly, "It's Kurama, isn't it?"

As her blushing faded, Botan didn't know whether to be offended or grateful. She almost opened her mouth to tell them that she loved Hiei, not some baka fox, but caught herself just in time. It was better to have them think that than know the truth.

Yusuke smirked triumphantly, her silence confirming the answer. "So it IS Kurama!"

Simultaneously, Yusuke and Kuwabara laughed out loud at poor Botan. It was just too funny! Who would have guessed that the ferry girl was the newest member of the Kurama fan club? Just wait until Kurama found out about this.

Botan didn't appreciate the laughter at her expense and sent them a death glare so intense that it rivaled Hiei's - a skill easily learned when you spend too much time observing the fire demon. The two boys were shocked into silence. Such a fatal look should be forbidden to mar the usually cheerful girl's face! For a few tense moments, nobody dared to utter a sound as Yusuke and Kuwabara tried to hide how truly frightening Botan's new side was for them.

"I do not like Kurama," Botan hissed, her death glare strengthening.

Kuwabara appeared intimidated by her, but Yusuke wasn't, thanks to daily meetings with an even scarier Keiko. He quickly overcame the shock that these strange actions induced and said, "You DO like Kurama!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!"

This annoyed Botan. She didn't like that baka kitsune! She was in love with Hiei! But she would never convince them unless she told them the truth, but there was no way in the three worlds she was going to do that.

"No, I do not like Kurama!"

Kuwabara had finally become braver again and replied, "Yes, you do!!!"

"NO, I DON'T YOU IDIOTS BECAUSE I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE!!!" Botan yelled before she could stop herself. She hadn't meant to say that, but now that it was out, she hoped they wouldn't guess the truth. Although she doubted they were smart enough, she had pretty much admitted that she liked one of the demons, and if it wasn't Kurama...

Yusuke and Kuwabara raised their eyebrows and looked at each other, and simultaneously stated, "IT'S KOENMA!"

"ARGH!!!" Okay, so maybe they're stupider than she thought...

While Botan was arguing with Kuwabara and Yusuke, Hiei and Kurama were on their way to the park. The incredibly slow pace they were walking caused their tardiness, but neither noticed this.

Hiei was too busy thinking about that baka ferry onna that had become the sole obsession of his life for the past week. It had all begun with the strangest, yet most pleasant, dreams, all involving Botan. It was surprising that he hadn't noticed before how beautiful she truly was. A week ago, had you asked Hiei his opinion of Botan, he might have answered that she was a good-for-nothing pest that got in his way. But presently, he might answer that she was the loveliest, most fascinating creature in the three worlds - not that he would ever tell her that. He didn't tell Yukina the truth for fear of rejection, so what makes you think Botan is any different?

Kurama was also busy with his thoughts, but his troubles didn't involve ferry girls. He was reflecting on Hiei's strange behavior. About a week ago he had noticed a change in the fire demon. It was too subtle for anyone unused to Hiei to tell the difference, but Kurama knew him too well for the fire demon to hide anything. Recently, almost every time Kurama saw Hiei, the he was always daydreaming and staring into space. He was much quieter than usual, not even bothering to respond to Kuwabara's insults and remarks. There was something very wrong with Hiei, and the fox wanted to know what.

He eyed the black -haired demon walking beside him suspiciously. Hiei was daydreaming again. Kurama couldn't take it anymore. This wasn't the arrogant, sarcastic, hotheaded fire demon everyone knew and loved. Well... maybe not loved... but whatever!

The fox decided to take action and cease his disturbing behavior. He called out Hiei's name, trying to get his attention. But Hiei continued walking, still lost in his thoughts, as if Kurama hadn't spoken at all.

Kurama's eyes narrowed as his worries grew. This was very strange - Hiei was always aware of what was going on around him. He looked at mysterious fire demon once more. Something about his appearance wasn't quite right... After a few moments of careful observation, the fox concluded that it was Hiei's facial expression. Instead of his usual scowl, Hiei seemed to be almost smiling, as if he were in bliss.

The fox blinked and rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. There it was again - a strange half smile that didn't suit the grumpy demon at all. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone again, fortunately for Kurama. He wasn't sure if his sanity could deal with Hiei daydreaming, yet alone genuinely smiling for no apparent reason.

"Hiei?" Kurama asked cautiously, wondering if Hiei had suddenly gone mad. His hand was already halfway to his concealed weapon, ready to grab his rose whip in case Hiei really did go insane and decided to attack. "HIEI!"

The fire demon was still not responding, and it was getting very old, very fast. Kurama decided to forget any precautions. His goal now was to get this stubborn fire demon to listen to him. After calling out Hiei's name another time, the fox hit Hiei on the head, just hard enough to catch his attention and not cause any damage.

The zoned out fire demon wasn't prepared to be attacked, especially by Kurama of all beings, and landed on the ground with a THUD. This most certainly captured his attention. Rubbing his head to check for injuries, Hiei quickly stood up and glared at Kurama. "What was that for, baka kitsune?!"

"When someone is speaking to you, it's impolite to ignore them!" Kurama told him. Hiei noticed the fox's eyes had taken on an eerie golden glow that was too similar to Youko's for his liking, and he decided to pursue the matter no further.

"You didn't have to hit me."

"Well, nothing else worked! Kuwabara could have announced that Yukina was his mate and you'd still be off in dreamland!"

"He did WHAT?!" Hiei yelled. Nobody can do anything to his sister without Hiei's consent! If Hiei had anything to say about it, the baka was about to be the next victim to his sword.

Kurama rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. Now that Hiei was back to normal, he wasn't sure whether or not he liked the silent Hiei better instead. "Never mind, never mind. What in Reikai is wrong with you?!"

"Hn!"

Oh great, just what Kurama needed. Hiei was being difficult about it. This would make things so much harder on the kitsune. "Oh, don't you dare give me that. Something is wrong with you! You aren't nearly as aware of your surroundings as you should be, and you've been acting different for the past week!"

"You needn't worry about me, baka kitsune."

"Somebody has to, since you're obviously not worried enough!"

Hiei looked away from Kurama and defiantly remained silent, signaling the end of the conversation. Unfortunately for him, Kurama wasn't about to give up so easily.

"Hiei? Look at me!" Reluctantly, crimson eyes met green eyes tinted with concern. "You have to tell me what is wrong! If we can't fix it before we have to go on this next mission, you may very well get killed!"

"So? I don't really care." That was actually a dishonest statement. Hiei did care whether or not he lived, but if he had to lie to get that annoying kitsune off of his back, then so be it.

Thinking that Hiei was honest, Kurama became frustrated. How many times would he have to tell Hiei to get this through his thick head? "I know you don't care, but I do. I know Yusuke and all of the others care too. Yes, even Kuwabara! And Yukina does as well."

"Don't lecture me, fox." Hiei looked at Kurama with a face that clearly showed he didn't appreciate any of this.

"Oh, stop giving me that look. Nobody else can stand your attitude long enough to lecture you!"

Hiei sighed, fed up with Kurama and all of his ningen morals. When had he ever given the fox permission to play mother to him? While Hiei appreciated his concern, though he may never admit to that, it was annoying. The only thing he could do to make Kurama shut up was to just tell the truth, something he couldn't bear to do. But he was willing to try about anything to get out of hearing one of Kurama's hour-long lectures about why Hiei should have ningen feelings or whatever it was he always said.

"Hiei, just tell me what's wrong! If you keep everything bottled up inside of you, your health will deteriorate and you'll become even grumpier than usual, and kami knows that's the last thing we need!"

"Just leave me alone!"

"Not until you tell me the truth!"

"...Fine."

The fox smirked. This was much more like the regular Hiei, always to the point, never prolonging the inevitable. He was on his way to being back to normal again!

The fire demon grudgingly opened his mouth as if to say something, but seemed to change his mind and closed it. If Kurama looked closely at him, he could see a faint tinge of pink on Hiei's face.

"Hiei?! Are you... blushing?!" Oh for the love of- Hiei wasn't supposed to BLUSH! Hiei was supposed to grunt and threaten and smirk and glare! And just when Kurama believed him to be normal again...

Hiei quickly looked away, mentally reprimanding himself for losing control of his emotions. This was not helping at all. He needed to just tell Kurama already and get it over with so he would be left alone.

"Oh, kami, you ARE blushing! Hiei, what in the three worlds is wrong with you?! Have you been eating too much sweet snow again? Are you drunk?! High?!! ANSWER ME, DARN IT!" Kurama asked frantically. If he hadn't been worried before, he was definitely worried now!

Before facing the fox, Hiei quickly got his emotions under control and made sure he wasn't blushing. He didn't need a desperate kitsune carting him off to a ningen hospital. "What if I told you that I was... how do ningens put it? In love?"

In... love...?!

The fox's eyes widened to unrealistic proportions. That was... unexpected, to say the least. He had anticipated something like 'I'm slowly dying of a rare form of demonic cancer and only have two days to live.' This couldn't possibly be true. Hiei, the most unsocial demon there ever was, in love? And not platonic love either? That was almost too scary to even imagine!

This was one of the rare moments that Hiei had managed to truly shock Kurama. He would have been proud too, had it not been so personal. The fire demon watched Kurama anxiously, wondering what his response would be. This was one of his most deeply guarded secrets. Hiei hadn't told anyone else of this, and he wasn't sure how Kurama would react.

Kurama reflected on Hiei's earlier actions, putting every piece of this mystery into place. At least it made sense why Hiei had been acting so odd. It was still quite a shocker. For Hiei's sake, he decided to not laugh or tease him about it. Acting surprised wouldn't help very much either, so Kurama would have to forget about how odd this whole situation was for now. Besides, he had many questions to ask Hiei. Why had this started only a week ago? Who was he in love with? Why is he just now displaying these emotions? Was this love mutual? Had Hiei told the person his feelings yet? Kurama decided to start with the most important question first.

"So, who's the lucky lady? ...Wait... it IS a lady, isn't it? ...I know you're kind of weird, even for a demon, but that doesn't mean.... I mean, it's not like it's Yusuke or Kuwabara or... Koenma or something. And it's not... me, right? ...RIGHT?!" Kurama was becoming frantic, worried about Hiei becoming the newest member of his fan club. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME, YOU JERK! THE LAST THING I NEED IS ANOTHER FANBOY!!! KARASU WAS ENOUGH FOR A LIFETIME, THANK YOU!!!!"

The look on Hiei's face was priceless. His eyes had widened and his mouth was hanging open, shock written all over his face. This was certainly not the reaction he had been hoping for. Did Kurama just compare him with Karasu? Karasu?! Come on, Hiei wasn't that weird...

"NO! I'm not... I don't... I... You... " Hiei faltered for a moment, not quite sure what to say. He felt like hitting Kurama for assuming such an idiotic thing, but instead he settled for yelling, "I LIKE GIRLS, OKAY?! BAKA KITSUNE!"

The relief that flooded through the panicked kitsune was visible. "Oh, thank kami... I don't think I can handle another Karasu..."

"You are an idiot."

"Yes, yes, I know, I'm a baka kitsune. You can't blame me for worrying about it, though. You do have quite a few qualities in common with him, like that whole black, creepy look and the 'psycho killer on the loose' attitude... Are you sure Karasu isn't your long lost twin brother?" Kurama teased.

"Are you sure Kuwabaka isn't yours? You have the same hair and you're both idiotic enough," Hiei retorted. He didn't appreciate being told that he had things in common with Karasu of all beings. Sure he was a powerful demon, but that guy was just plain creepy!

Kurama chuckled, assured that Hiei was back to normal, for the moment at least. "Since it isn't me, thank kami, then who is it? Who's the lucky lady that has broken through the icy walls of the fire demon's heart? Who has turned the Forbidden Child from a warrior into a poor, confused, love-stricken boy? Who-"

The fire demon became irritated with Kurama for turning such a simple question into a long, dramatic speech made specifically for injuring his dignity. "Botan."

"Nani?"

"It's Botan!"

This was very hard to believe, for obvious reasons. Kurama stared at Hiei skeptically, wondering if he was lying. For a few moments, nobody said a thing as Kurama tried to determine whether or not he was being lied to.

"You're kidding..." he finally said.

The stern look in Hiei's eyes was proof enough that this was completely true. Kurama knew better than to accuse him of lying about something as serious as this.

"Kami... You really DO love her... Oh..."

Both demons knew that Hiei would never have a chance with Botan. She was the number one bishoujo of the Urameshi group; she was Koenma's top ferry girl, which made her only a few steps down from a demigoddess; she was the total opposite of Hiei; she was scared to death of him, which made it nearly impossible to like him, nevertheless love; and everybody assumed that she was probably already in love with someone else, probably Kurama or Koenma.

"Hiei, you do realize that your chances of dating her are slim to none?"

"You think I don't know that?! I didn't choose to feel this way!"

Although it was probably unwanted, Kurama suddenly pitied the poor fire demon. All of his life he had never cared anyone except his sister. Then, the first time he ever feels romantic love for a girl, he has absolutely no chance with her! This was not what Kurama wanted for Hiei. The fire demon was a brother to the fox, and Kurama wasn't about to let him be rejected without even getting a fair chance.

"I'll help you, Hiei," Kurama offered.

Hiei knew about Youko's reputation as master of the art of seduction, and if anyone could help him with dating problems, it would be Kurama. But his pride wouldn't let him accept help from him, and his rational mind warned him about trusting a kitsune. If Kurama helped him now, then he might owe him later on, and Hiei wasn't one who liked to be in debt.

"I don't need your help, fox."

"Yes, you do. I'm only doing this because you're my friend, and I want to help you. Besides, if you keep acting weird and start daydreaming again on our mission, it's going to put us all in danger," Kurama reassured him.

The fire demon could tell he was honest. Well... he really DID need the help... Hiei decided to go along with it.

"Fine, fox, suit yourself."

Kurama grinned, glad that Hiei wasn't being difficult about it. He glanced at his watch, which showed that they were already ten minutes late. "ACK! We're late! Yusuke's going to be furious!"

The two demons took off at a speed too fast for a human to keep up with. Soon they arrived at the designated meeting place, just in time to see Yusuke and Kuwabara laughing at poor Botan, having just come to the conclusion that she was in love with Koenma.