Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Naughty Godlings and Demonic Pudding ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 3 )

Naughty Godlings and Demonic Pudding
Chapter 2   “Y-you idiots think that I like Koenma?!” Botan stammered. First they thought Kurama, and now Koenma! She didn’t want them to think she liked a toddler, but she also didn’t want to tell them that she really liked Hiei. Oh, what could a girl do?   Kuwabara rolled his eyes. “Well, duh! It’s so obvious! I mean, you DO like someone and-“   Yusuke said, “It’s not Kurama, and definitely not Kuwabaka!”   “Hey! Don’t call me that!" Kuwabara glared at him and shot back, "I know you couldn't like that baka Yusuke either!”   “And everyone knows that you’re scared of Hiei!” Yusuke continued, ignoring the insult.   “Plus you’re so close to Koenma and all...“   “You two have probably been flirting with each other since the first day you met!”   Botan’s eyes narrowed. “I do not like Koenma, and I would NEVER flirt with that... that... TODDLER!”   “You’re just in denial!”   “You have a thing for pacifier breath!”   Hiei and Kurama, having arrived unnoticed, listened silently, unsure whether to interrupt them or not.   “I do not like Koenma!”   “You do too! The first step is denial!”   “Then comes L-O-V-E and marriage!”   “Then you’re going to have little Koenmas and Botans running around!”   Botan shuddered at the thought. Little Koenmas and Botans? The very thought was revolting... Koenma himself was a toddler!   The more Hiei and Kurama watched, the more their worries increased. Was it true? Did Botan love Koenma? And, if so, where did this leave Hiei? Every accusation coming from Kuwabara and Yusuke was just as, if not even more, painful than an arrow piercing the demon's poor heart.   For Hiei's sake, Kurama decided to cease this torment and, hopefully, prevent a fight from breaking out. Clearing his throat loudly, he interrupted them, “Um, excuse us, are you in the middle of something?”   As Botan turned to the two arrivals, dread seeped in like water to a sinking ship. How horrible! So now not only Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama believed she liked Koenma - a TODDLER, for goodness sake! - but the one person who mattered most did too! Needless to say, her day was certainly not going well.   “Oh! Ummm... I can explain! They were just... joking and... being their stupid selves, you know...” Botan managed to say, despite a terrible inner struggle to not run far, far away and get very drunk.   Ignoring the ferry girl, Yusuke stated with absolute certainty that he knew the truth and nothing anybody said could change his mind, “Botan’s got a secret love life!”   “With Koenma!” continued Kuwabara, grinning. “And they’ve been flirting!”   “At first, we thought it was with you, Kurama.”   “But Botan blabbed and told us the truth!”   “Well, she didn’t technically tell us, but it was pretty easy to figure out!”   Eyebrow raised, Kurama looked at them and replied doubtfully, “I see... So does she like Koenma or not?”   “I do not!” Botan shrieked at the same time as Yusuke answered, “Of course she does!”   The two glared at each other venomously. Had they been showy gods of high status, lightning would have sprung forth from each opposing side and met in a horrible, electrifying clash. The tension had just reached its climax when they were interrupted by the sound of nearby giggling. Botan and Yusuke were shaken out of their staring match, and everyone's eyes glanced around wildly for the source.   “That sounded like a child...” Kurama stated, confirming everyone's fears of being discovered by the most innocent of bystanders.   Kuwabara looked around warily, but upon seeing nothing odd, he said, "I don't see anyone."   In agreement with their comrade for once, Yusuke and Hiei didn't notice anything either. The fire demon stayed silent about it as Yusuke suggested, “We should leave. Botan, hurry up and open the portal for us!”   Everything else forgotten in the momentary panic, the ferry girl quickly obliged, and a doorway to Reikai appeared in midair. Everyone quickly stepped through to avoid human eyes. As soon as the last person went through, the portal disappeared, leaving no trace behind.     From his hiding place among the trees, Ainokami clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle the giggles the group had heard. He hadn’t meant to actually laugh out loud, but he just couldn’t help it! Botan had pretty much told everyone, including Hiei, that she liked Koenma of all beings! Her chibi god boss! It was just too funny, really.   The god of love was very lucky that everyone assumed it was a mere child they’d heard and not a noisy demon lusting for their blood. Although he knew how to conceal himself as well as any god, the Spirit Detectives had more than enough power to find him if they were motivated. And after being discovered, he would be almost helpless against the angry foursome.   After his giggles had been thoroughly stifled, Ainokami resumed his task of following Hiei and Botan. He quickly created his own portal and followed them into the Reikai palace.     Upon arriving in Spirit World, the group was immediately ushered into Koenma’s office. The god, in toddler form, greeted them from where he stood on his desktop. Once everybody had gathered around him, the god noticed someone else hidden in his office, but made no comment. He would deal with that annoyance afterward...   Hoping to start things quickly, Koenma skipped introduction and launched into explanation, “There have been reports of large quantities of demonic energy emanating from a pudding factory in Tokyo. Normally I wouldn’t have to send all four of you there to deal with such a minor thing, but my staff has already investigated and discovered something unusual, and to be perfectly honest, rather disturbing.   “After keeping the factory under constant surveillance, we’ve found that humans have been mysteriously disappearing from the area. The worst part of it all, though, is that the person in charge of the factory calls herself Mary Sue.”   At the name of the dreaded Mary Sue, Hiei’s eyes widened and, having been watching Botan the entire time, drifted away to stare at Koenma. This couldn't be happening... The first time he had a mission with Botan after discovering his feelings, and a Mary Sue might just screw it all up. The fire demon could barely suppress a shudder at the thought of how humiliated he would be if the ferry girl witnessed him fall in love with the horrid Sue.   Similar thoughts in their heads, Kurama paled and Botan gasped. However, Kuwabara and Yusuke simply looked bewildered, having no knowledge on Mary Sues.   “Do you guys know her or something?” Kuwabara asked, completely clueless.   “Is she an old enemy, or maybe an ex-girlfriend?”   Koenma quickly explained before Yusuke and Kuwabara jumped to ridiculous conclusions. “A Mary Sue is a creature that is absolutely perfect in every way - looks, brains, powers, etc. She normally has a high rank in society, such as demon princess of some long lost island, and can defeat anybody because her powers are unlimited. Most males, and even some females, will fall in love with her if they spend enough time in her presence. Her male counterpart is referred to as a Gary Stu.”   Yusuke and Kuwabara mulled over this new information for a minute, considering the possibilities of fighting such a creature.   “Too bad Keiko’s not a Mary Sue...” grumbled Yusuke. If Keiko were a Mary Sue, life would be perfect for the young detective! At least, that’s what Yusuke thought. He hadn’t considered the fact that a Mary Sue’s slap would be many times stronger than Keiko’s.   “Then how are we supposed to fight her? If we get close enough to do anything, we’ll fall in love!”   “The only known way is to have someone immune to her charm - in this case, almost any female will do - counter any effects the Mary Sue may induce. Botan will go with the four of you, along with Keiko, Yukina, and Shizuru. One girl for every guy, see?” Koenma explained. "Hopefully, it won't be too hard for the girls. All they really need to do is force you guys to fight Mary Sue and not get hurt in the process. Quite easy, actually."   Botan nearly groaned when the godling said that. Easy, eh? Famous last words... Koenma had practically jinxed the mission already!   “Do you have any other information for us?” asked Kurama.   “Unfortunately, that's all we know. You’ll have to find out more on your own. Any other questions before you begin?” Seeing that everyone was ready, Koenma continued, “Then I would like you to leave for Tokyo at once. Botan, you are to take them to the factory. Make sure they don’t get close enough for Mary Sue’s charm to work! After that, you have to get the other three girls and bring them there as well.”   By doing this, Koenma hoped to keep the girls separated from the guys as long as possible - especially Keiko and Yusuke. It seemed that every time those two met, a fight would break out, and somehow Yusuke would always get injured. They didn't need injuries before even meeting Mary Sue!   The ferry girl nodded in response and led the other four out of his office as quickly as they had been brought in. Once everyone was gone, Koenma looked directly at the annoyance he had seen earlier and commanded, “You can come out now, Ainokami!”     Ainokami had followed everyone into Koenma’s office. He was able to hide himself from the Spirit Detectives easily, but not from a fellow god. Koenma was aware of his presence and purposely did nothing to alert the others, which meant that he was either feeling generous today or had a use for Ainokami. Ever the pessimistic one, the god of love knew the latter was much more likely.   As soon as Koenma called for him to come forward, the godling complied, knowing it would be useless to do otherwise.   “What did you do to them?” Koenma demanded to know.   Feigning innocence, Ainokami declared with an outrageous attitude, “I’m as innocent as a newborn human! You needn’t accuse me of any meddling, for all I wanted was to visit my favorite chibi in action! You know I could never resist the charms of a powerful toddler.” The god floated slowly around Koenma in a full circle, leering at him. “You’re especially charming when you grow angry and flushed. Oh, you must have dozens of ogres pining for your love every time you throw one of your spectacular temper tantrums!”   The god of love stopped beside Koenma and put an arm around his shoulders teasingly. Koenma was thoroughly insulted, and, with a glare, shoved the offending god away.   “Don’t play the guiltless fool. I noticed Hiei staring at Botan the whole time - that isn't exactly an everyday occurance. What did you do?”   Ainokami cackled at Koenma’s discomfort and announced proudly, “I merely aided a lonely fire demon in finding his soul mate!”   “Soul mate? Botan couldn’t possibly be Hiei’s soul mate!”   “You blind fool, haven’t you heard the saying ‘opposites attract’? I admit, it wasn’t the first couple I would have chosen, but all I do is aim and shoot! The spells do the rest!”   Knowing that to be the truth, Koenma reluctantly ignored his disbelief and asked, “Is it permanent?”   “Only destiny can tell,” was his vague reply.   “As punishment for meddling in others’ affairs, you will follow them on their mission and see that Hiei and Botan come to no harm.  Afterwards, you will provide them with the antidote,” Koenma ordered.   This being the inevitable since Koenma outranked him, Ainokami knew that it would be useless to argue about it. However, negotiating wasn't out of question.   “Only if I can shoot arrows as I please,” declared the god.   “No more shooting arrows! You made more than enough trouble when you made me fall in love with the ogres last year!” Koenma’s glare cut off Ainokami’s laughter almost before it began.   “But what if I were to aid your precious Spirit Detectives?”   “Absolutely not! No more arrows, and that’s final!”   “Oh, come now! I exist solely to spread love throughout the lands! At least grant me this small favor?”   “No more arrows!” insisted Koenma, temper flaring.   “But should Hiei and Botan need me, the only weapons I have are arrows!” That much was true. Ainokami was an expert on matters of the heart, not war.   “Well, perhaps...” Koenma began, thinking about the situation logically. “If you only use the arrows to help Hiei and Botan when they are in a life-threatening situation, I suppose I could allow that. But only then! No more meddling with their love life, or anyone else's for that matter!”   “Alright, then I accept my punishment,” Ainokami said, already thinking of ways to shoot arrows for Hiei and Botan’s ‘benefit’.   The two gods shook hands, as was custom, to seal the agreement. Then Ainokami floated out of the room to begin his task, leaving Koenma to deal with his daily stacks of paperwork.