Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Nymphetamine ❯ A Few Shots Away From Dying ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Nymphetamine

Disclaimer: Nope, I do not own them. This is an alternate Universe fic. And possibly a Crossover! And be for warned that there are a lot of my characters in this story. Also, there is a lot of sadness and rape and torture mixed with HINTS of love! Enjoy!

Begin Chapter One: I'm A Few Shots Away From Dying...

Dreamscape How things were...

I'm walking to school with her. I don't know why exactly, but I can't find the motivation to look over at her and try to smile. Where did all my courage go? Today is different then yesterday, I'm finding it hard to retain anything I learned in our study time. My hands tighten around my brown bag. I do not wish to cry and yet my heart wills me to do otherwise. Maybe, I'll just stop talking instead. My words aren't worth the things I have to say.

He loves her I can tell, but do not confuse it. I do not feel for Jinx anymore then I feel for myself. He is what he is and mostly he's just an emotional crutch. He's good to be around even if I do not understand it myself. I made her cry again. I feel sorry. That's all I want to say to her but I can not find my voice to do so. She notices. “Sunari, are you okay?” I nod my head and force an unwanted smile. “Do you need a review for the test?”

I shake my head no and she just stares. I know, I'm supposed to talk but I can not, will not do so. What's the capital of Japan again? My heart races faster and faster but I know that she, unlike Jinx, can not sense it. She is only a shape shifter. She's almost good for nothing. Of course, I do not mean what I say…and still I say it nonetheless. It's eating away at me. Is it really my fault that I am this way? And if so, then what more is there to say?

We walked into the school and as usual it was always noisy. How could people want to talk so much about nothing. It's…annoying. Maybe I really do like it. My heart beats and then stops. Then as if I have no control over it, it repeats it's last move. I accept it. The bell rings and we hurry to class. I don't think that I can take this test and pass. I wonder if that is how it is for Cairo too. Do I affect her? Do I hurt her? We take our seats and the teacher begins his first decent into the test directions.

My heart stops again.

There are few things in this world sadder then watching the person you love walk away. Memorizing the distance between you until the space is finally no more.-Cicero

How things are

“So you're leaving then…” Her voice was soft and alluring, carrying with it the hints of despair and distress. She had done this all before. This would not be the first time she would watch a loved one get on the last flight somewhere and never make it home. It almost caused sadness to the human heart. But what else was there to say? Yes, I will get on this plane and no…I will not be coming back home.

Though it took all I had not to cry I smiled at my sister lovingly and nodded my head. The only duffel bag I carried with me brought more tension then it did release. How stupid was I to think such things? Why do I care? Cicero wrapped her arms around me and I couldn't help but feel my muscles tighten. She wasn't making this easy on me. She was doing this on purpose. Unwillingly, my free arm wrapped around her neck in a sibling moment and I quickly pulled away.

“I'm going to miss you. Though, I don't think that there's much of a point in me saying that.” I turned away from her. No, there really was no point and chances are she was just saying it to see if I would talk back. I smirked on the inside. Always wanting what she can't have. What a foolish human characteristic. But above all else I love it though. I began to walk away, my wear feet cursing each time I moved them from the ground. Home was just behind me but I didn't want to go back.

“I'll never understand this!” She screamed at me, trying to be heard over the noise of the airport. “I'll never get why you do the things you do! I'm never going to understand am I? I'm always going to be the stupid one and somehow that's okay with me.” Cicero laughed sadly, clenching her fists at her sides. “What I can understand is your need for solitude! I have to believe that it's the reason why you want to leave me! I just have to believe that you like being alone and yet at the same time…you'll always love me!”

I felt the tears streaming down my face. Damn her! Why did she always have to do this? She was so good at making me cry. No, I do not love you! I hate you! I'm so weak…that's why…I can't turn around to face you. My heart is beating faster and faster as I reach the airport gates and take hold of my passport.

“Well, I love you to you selfish son of a bitch!” I couldn't help but choke on my sob as I handed the woman my passport and put on a fake smile. I took a step closer to the gate, somehow knowing that if I turned around she would no longer be there for me. This feeling within me was oddly personal and I set it free. Never again would she be hurt by me…

I bet you're hard to get over. I bet the room just wont shine.

I bet my hands I can stay here and I bet you need, more then you think-Sunari