Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Nymphetamine ❯ Bleeding Love ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Nymphetamine

Begin Chapter Eight: Bleeding Love

I fear that I will always be…

A lonely number, like root three…

He had been watching me, of this I was sure. He had come none to soon to save me from myself. I sighed, sitting up slowly, the pain in my head a constant reflection of how I fucked up. I felt useless, unable to think in single sentences but rather, in clips and phrases. For a moment I had felt like regarding him with anger, feeling violated as he followed me all around town. “I was worried about you.” His voice was less than soothing and I turned to look at him. He seemed tired, angry at me for the things I had no power over.

“And the jewel shard? Where is it?” Yusuke sighed, opening his closed hand. I realized this sadness slowly. At any time he could have made his only wish. To bring Keiko back would have been his ultimate desire but he hadn't used it. I was surprised and at the same time not. He stood, walking toward the bed. I watched him with sad eyes. His hand graced my face gently and I found strength there. “You haven't told them, right?” Yusuke blinked as I rubbed my face within his warm hands and kissed his palm. Slowly, I worked my hands around his fisted hand to retrieve the jewel. My very heart.

“How can I? You've bound yourself to this item. It is your very soul. If it dies so do you. You've ruined us both as we know it…” I closed my eyes, pulling him close and burying my head within his chest. Here I was safe, but inevitably I knew not for long. I began to cry, the act in itself startling me to hold on tighter. I had not wanted to die so soon but such was my fate. When Inuyasha made his wish I would perish. Be taken from this world with no solace and no happiness. But he held me there, dropping the jewel onto the bed. He kissed along my face and I his until our lips met. It was need that brought us together. We had been intimate with the most complex form of lust but we loved it. Needed it and so, in that sense, got it.

We pulled each other closer, as if the space between our touching bodies was too much to contend with. He was warm, and unlike me in so many ways. I yearned for him like I have never done before. But we were always interrupted. Whether by our saddening peace of mind or the knock at the door we always stopped. Either way, he got off the bed sparing me a lonely glance and going to the door. I quickly grabbed the jewel shard from the bed, watching it vanish with my touch. A trick I had spent years learning to modify and now mastered. I stood to my feet, walking as silently as I could toward the bedroom door in a poor attempt to see who it was. This person was beautiful. Something in my longed for him and then quickly forgot.

“Kurama…” His name reverberated off Yusuke's lips in a soft manor. These two had been friends for some time. Since I had left Yusuke had found many things different in his life and I was saddened by this simple fact. I had not been there for him. I had not cared to. I was a horrible person. And so I cried. Small tears to let me know I was still alive. “What can I do for you?”

The red haired man smiled at Yusuke in that `I care and want to help' sort of manner and I shuddered. He had known about me for some time and said nothing. It was this sort of friendship I had longed for and yet feared I would never get. I died. “Yusuke, you're in quite the predicament. I want to help.” What was Yusuke to say? He couldn't lie. Not to his friends and I quickly became scared. It was the fight or flight instinct that I possessed quickly. The window was open. The bathroom had a lock and should I choose the ladder I could quickly run out the door and knock his ass out. But I wouldn't. Couldn't do so. This did not make me weak. No, I feared this gave me strength, something I did not want inside of me for if it were there I would choose to live.

So I turned for the window and paused in dire silence. It was a sadness overwhelming me. Could I leave this place and not tell Yusuke. Would he think the worst of me? And yet, why did I care. In a wisp of misplaced air I perched myself upon the window sill. In the wind I could smell Sesshoumaru close by. He was looking for me. Searching for my death. Even he had carried some sort of love for the priestess and my heart sank. She had chosen me, crucified me. That poor sweet innocent thing…of course she loved me, I'm her sacrifice.

“Do you really want to leave me? Just like that Sunari?” His voice was no longer his own, but that of lost memories resurfacing. The tears ran down my face and in the moonlight I noticed they shined. To turn around and face him would make me the person I should've been but I wouldn't. “Don't you see I just want to love you…”

“It's not that I want to leave Yusuke. It's never been what I wanted. It's that I should leave. I should go. It's that I should put others before myself and save your ass at some point in my pathetic life. I don't want you to hurt anymore Yusuke. Believe me I don't. But at the same time…I cant die much more either. You'll understand it one day.”

“And if I don't?”

“Than you chose not to, but you know as well as I do…that my time here is limited. I can no longer love you than I could save Kagome. What you want is unfeasible…”

“If you're scared that's all you have to say Sinner. Lying has never been your strong point.”

I smirked. He had commonly called me sinner as a child. The name engraved in my back, almost beautifully carved for such an ugly creature. “Yusuke…I need your love like I need a kick in the ass.” And I was gone, but I knew I would be back. I couldn't stay away from him even in death or sadness. I needed him like a drug. An addiction's still an addiction; it always hurts the same…