Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Realistic Fiction ❯ The Diabolical Plot ( Chapter 2 )

Mental Stability

(or lack thereof)

I hummed to myself as I ate, swinging my legs. It was lunchtime, and I was currently on the roof of the school. Another week had passed and things were going pretty smoothly. Life at the Minamino residence was the same as before. I was meeting Yusuke every other day at the arcade. (Well, actually, I met him outside Meiou Academy, because he didn't trust me to find my way to the arcade by myself.) In this way, I also met Kuwabara. I didn't see Hiei much, though I checked the comfy-looking trees, anyway.

Mmm. Yummy.

“Aya?”

“Yaah!” Even though I was sitting down, I somehow managed to jump about a foot in the air. Holding my chest and the remainder of my food in a vice-like grip, I tried to calm my suddenly rapid heart rate and turned around to glare at the offender. “Do not do that!”

Kurama smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“Meh. Well, what did you want?”

“I was looking for you, that's all. You're not supposed to be up here.”

“But it is lunchtime! And I like it up here!” I whined.

“I understand that, but Takashi-sensei will not pleased if he catches you.”

“Bah,” I huffed. “Takashi-sensei can just screw himself, for all I care.”

He laughed lightly. “I think you've been spending too much time around Yusuke.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I somehow doubt they teach you how to say that sort of thing in school.”

“Well, they should.” I beamed at him. “Yusuke has been an excellent teacher. I have greatly increased my Japanese vocabulary in the way of slang, insults, and swear words.”

“I can't say I'm surprised. Anyway, lunch period is over. You have about five minutes to get to your next class. Yusuke hasn't taught you to cut classes, too, has he?”

I laughed. “No. Give me a minute; I'll be down as soon as I finish my desert. After all, chocolate always comes before education, ne?”

“Just don't be late- again. As much as the teachers like you, you're on thin ice with your frequent tardiness.” With that, Kurama disappeared into the building. I nodded and bit into my precious candy bar. It was really a lovely day. The sun was out, the sky was a beautiful hue of blue, with white, puffy clouds here and there, the flowers were blooming, the birds were singing... Wait. No they weren't.

“Where are the birdies?” I wondered aloud.

“Oh, I scared them away,” came a female voice behind me. I jumped again, this time nearly falling off the edge of the roof. “It was fun.”

“Jeez, what is it with people sneaking up on me today?” I whirled around to glare at whoever it was that had startled me, getting a good look at her in the process. She was small, perhaps around 4'8”, with short, purple hair and a pale complexion. Her eyes were a startling tint of violet, which, in contrast with her considerably darker hair, appeared almost white. She wore a purple yukata with a paler, lavender obi, and traditional Japanese sandals. She appeared to be physically fully mature, but face held childlike innocence... of sorts. “Who are you, anyway?”

The girl flashed a winning smile. “I am Misako, the demon witch, more commonly known as Misako the Purple. And I have come to kidnap you.”

“What...?”

Before I could object, she cackled and took my hand. There was a puff of- you guessed it- purple smoke. I coughed. Eventually the smoke cleared, and I looked around. We weren't on the roof of the school anymore. In fact, we were in a rather cozy-looking living room; the sort of room that one might expect to find in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine. One wall was composed almost entirely of full-length windows, and gave a nice view of a pretty little garden outside. It would have looked like it came out of a magazine as well if it hadn't been for the pink sky and jagged red things that I could only assume to be deformed clouds.

“Admiring my garden?” came a voice from my shoulder.

“Eh?” I turned to look at Misako the Purple, who was beaming at the world in general. “Actually, I was admiring the sky.”

“Ah, yes. Lovely, isn't it?” Misako looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook her head like people sometimes do when returning to reality. “Anyway. Yeah, I have now kidnapped you.”

“May I ask why?”

She shrugged. “I was bored.”

I half-facefaulted. “Bored?”

“Well, yeah. Besides, I haven't caused any trouble for the past four years or so, and we can't have Koenma getting relaxed, now can we?”

“Causing trouble is your favorite pastime?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why have you not caused trouble in a while?” What? It's a valid question.

She scratched the back of her neck. “I was sleeping. Hibernating, you might say.”

“Oh? Long sleep, ne? Did you not get hungry?”

“Oh, I got up once a month or so and spent a day eating. Then I don't have to sleep at all for a long while.”

“...That sounds nice.”

“It is. But, alas, one can only sleep for so long without getting somewhat restless, ne? Get it? Restless? While asleep?” She chuckled at her own joke.

“True enough,” I agreed, smiling to acknowledge the pun.

“Anyway,” she said, clapping her hands once, “now I have to reveal my diabolical plot. I just woke up about a month ago, and the first thing I heard about was the new Spirit Detectives. And I thought, `Woohoo! This is great! The new Reikai Tantei would be the perfect target for my pranks! The last one had no sense of humor.' And there you have it. So, I decided to kidnap someone that each of the Tantei care about, and have them come to the rescue! Great, huh?”

“I guess... Who else did you kidnap?”

“Yusuke's girlfriend, Kuwabara's cat, and that cute little koorime girl. She's a sweetie.”

“So, I am the bait for Kurama?”

“Yup.”

“Why not his mother, or his stepbrother? They are who most people would go for.”

“Exactly. It's just unoriginal. That, and you were convenient, sitting up there all alone on the roof, and all.”

“I see.”

“So!” The little demon witch clapped her hands again and looked at me. “Time to take you to the other prisoners, ne?”

“Alright. I have been wanting to meet them for a while now,” I admitted.

She beamed at me. “Gosh, you're even more agreeable than that cute little Koorime.”

“I do try.”

She led we through an innocent-looking door on the wall opposite the windows and into another... room, if you can call it that.

I looked around. “I didn't know you had an actual dungeon.”

“Well, you can't go around having diabolical plots without having a dungeon.”

“True.” It was a large, black room with a high ceiling and a dirty stone floor, bits of straw lying here and there. On the far wall, where Keiko and Yukina and were sitting and playing with Eikichi, were some of those metal handcuff-like things. Basically, it was the sort of place from which the gallant hero would rescue a damsel in distress or two. Or, in this case, three damsels that aren't really very distressed and a kitten.

I followed as Misako jogged over to the aforementioned damsels and kitten. “Right-o! Now that you're all here together, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to chain you up.”

“What? Why?” demanded Keiko.

“The look of the thing. I mean, I can't have the heroes walk in to find the damsels in distress sitting in a circle having girl talk or something. I mean, how diabolical is that?”

“Not very,” she admitted.

“So, sorry about this. Tell me if you're too uncomfortable and I'll see what I can do.” Misako snapped her fingers and we were on the wall in the aforementioned handcuff-things. Eikichi was in a cage. The cage had a plush carpet, a food bowl filled with kitty treats, water, a kitty bed, a litter box, a scratching post, and some little toys dangling from the top. All purple, of course.

Yukina giggled. “Do you like cats, Misako-chan?”

“Yup. Now, I'm gonna go out and drop hints all over the place for the boys to find. You all can just get to know each other.”

I frowned and twitched my nose. “My nose itches.”

“Hm, how about only one handcuff thing? That way you'll each have a free hand.” The witch snapped her fingers again and I scratched my nose.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Anything else?” We shook our heads and a happy kitten purred. “Right-o times two. See you later!” She disappeared in another puff of purple smoke.

We stood in silence for a while.

“So,” said Keiko eventually, “What's your name?”

“I am Aya, and I presume you two are Keiko and Yukina? I've already met Eikichi-chan.”

“Oh! Are you that foreigner that Yusuke meets at the arcade?”

“Yeah.”

“So, are you here for Kurama, then?”

“Ack! Um, Yukina-chan, I think she knows him as Shuichi.”

“Eh?”

I laughed. “Don't worry about it. I already know.”

“Eh? You do?”

“Eh? Know what?”

“About the guys and their adventures. It's kind of a long story,” I lied. I just didn't feel like explaining it.

“Oh, that's okay,” said Keiko, looking slightly confused, kind of in the same way I did when I reread that conversation.

We were quiet again as I was mentally ranting on how much I hate my school uniform. Suddenly...

“Keiko!” exclaimed Yusuke.

“Eikichi! Yukina!” exclaimed Kuwabara.

“Aya?” exclaimed Kurama.

“...!” exclaimed Hiei.

“Sorry, Kitsune! I guess I skipped class, after all!” exclaimed yours truly.

“Ah... I don't think it really counts as skipping if you were kidnapped...”

“Eh, same effect, ne?”

“Gosh-darnit, Aya!” Misako floated down from... somewhere. The ceiling wasn't THAT high... “Stop casually chatting with your savior! You're supposed to be in distress!”

“Oh, sorry. Aaaaaaah, nooooooo! Saaaaaaave meeeeeee!” I cried in my would-be falsetto.

“That's better. You others need to be distressing, too!”

“Yusuke!” cried Keiko, because she had experience with this sort of thing.

“Oh, dear, I'm so afraid?” cried Yukina timidly.

“Mew,” cried Eikichi, before returning to contented purring.

“Very good,” said Misako approvingly.

The guys raised their eyebrows.

“Okay,” said Yusuke, “that was weird.”

“Yeah,” agreed Kuwabara.

“Yes,” agreed Kurama.

“Hn,” agreed Hiei.

“I do try,” agreed Misako cheerfully.

“Well, whatever,” said Yusuke. “Do I kick your ass now, or what?”

“Oh, no,” said the purple demon witch, waving her hands in front of her. “I just wanted to get you all here.”

“A trap?” asked Hiei suspiciously, partially because it made sense, and mostly because he's suspicious of pretty much everything.

“No.”

“Then what?” the Tantei simultaneously asked.

“I just wanted to meet you guys!”

They facefaulted.

“That's it?” yelled Yusuke.

“Yup!” Misako nodded once, then suddenly appeared in front of Hiei. He looked surprised. I guess she must be fast, even to him. “Nee, Hiei's cute!”

“...What?”

“Wee!” Misako then proceeded to glomp the fire demon.

“Yaah!”

Everyone (except Eikichi) gawked for a moment. Then, Yusuke and Kuwabara and I cracked up, Keiko and Yukina started giggling, and even Kurama had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“Get... off... me... damned... female!”

Misako sighed and complied. “Aw, Hi-chan's no fun.”

His eye twitched. “Hi-chan?” The laughing in the background, which had started to simmer down when the little demon clad in purple had removed herself from the little demon clad in black, got louder again.

The girl smiled winningly and moved over in front of Kurama. Misako looked up. Kurama looked down. Then she floated up Koenma-style so that he was at eye-level. “There. That's better. ...You have pretty eyes,” she said, staring.

“...Thank you?”

“You're welcome!” She then floated over to Yusuke, who couldn't figure out if he should be congratulating the girl ore glaring at her. “...I don't have anything to say about you, really.”

Yusuke looked mildly offended.

Moving on to Kuwabara, Misako grinned. “I like you! You have the cutest little kitten in the world!”

Kuwabara looked proud. “She is, isn't she?”

“Yup.” She lowered herself to the ground and walked to the middle of the room. “Well, I suppose that's it,” she concluded. “You lot can go now. Oh, and Kuwa-chan, you can keep the cage.”

Misako the Purple snapped her fingers and there was yet another puff of purple smoke. Once it cleared, we were on the roof of Meiou High. I blinked and collected my trash, which had miraculously not blown away.

“Okay, that chick is crazy,” observed Yusuke.

“I admit, she's not exactly a perfect example of mental stability.”

“In normal-person-language, she's crazy,” Yusuke repeated.

“Yes.”

“Hn,” said Hiei, “if she shows her face again, I'll kill her.”

“Aw,” teased Yusuke, “did Misako-chan make oo angwy?”

“Shut up, detective.”

“Oh, he's just a little sour, that's all,” said Kurama. “Isn't that right, Hi-chan?”

“Call me that again and you'll find a katana shoved down your throat.”

“Oh my,” said Yukina quietly.

“Oh, do not worry,” I said, coming up behind her. “He wouldn't actually do that. You see, death threats are his way of showing he cares. They're also his way of showing that he wants to kill someone, though, so you never know... Another way would be him, you know, stalking someone to protect them,” I added pointedly.

“Oh,” said Yukina, looking slightly confused. Hiei viciously glared at me. I waved.

“Hello!” came a voice from above. A familiar blue-haired ferry girl dropped down on her oar. “Koenma-sama just wanted me to tell you all something! It's lucky that I found you all here at once. Oh!” She suddenly seemed to notice mt existence. “I mean... um...”

Kurama chuckled. “Don't worry, Botan. She already knows.”

“Well, okay,” she said, at a loss.

“So, Botan,” inquired Keiko politely, “What did you want to say?”

“Oh! Right! Koenma just wanted me to warn you about a rather eccentric demon witch that goes by the name of Misako the Purple who has just woken up from a hibernation of sorts. Now, thought she's extremely powerful, she's relatively harmless... except that she has been causing trouble for Reikai authorities for over a century.”

“A century?”

“Yes, Kuwabara. She is a demon, after all; she can live for a long time. Anyway, she likes to play pranks in the Ningenkai, often threatening our secrecy. She never goes too far, but she makes everyone very nervous. Her various `jests' include things like bizarre vandalism, stalking people, stealing little things like socks and pencils just to confuse people, making crops circles... In fact, most `extraterrestrial activity on Earth' is her doing. You know the Roswell incident? That was her. Nothing is too elaborate, by her standards. Anyway, now that Misako's awake again, you might want to stay on your toes.”

“We've already met,” Hiei said sourly.

“Oh, my! You have? What did she do?”

“She kidnapped Yukina, Aya, Eikichi and I,” said Keiko.

“Then, once she met us, she said we could go, and sent us back here,” added Kuwabara.

“Hmm. Well, I can't say I know what she's thinking, or what she's planning... Actually, it's likely that she's not actually planning anything. Misako is, after all, pretty spontaneous. Anyway, this won't be the last you see of her,” Botan concluded.

“I see. We'll keep that in mind,” said Kurama.

“Well,” said Botan, “Now that you know, I'm off! Oh, and Aya, nice meeting you! We should have tea sometime! See you!” With that, the ferry girl that had no trouble vocalizing exclamation points hopped back on her oar and flew off.

 

A/N: How long are these program things, anyway, you ask? ...I don't know. I think they last a week, but you know what? This story has absolutely no timeline. Valentine's Day will probably happen before Christmas. This lack of timeline is the one plothole I'm going to completely ignore. Why? Because timelines are a pain to work with (to me), and one week in Japan would make for a pretty short fanfiction. ...That, and I'm lazy.