Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Sayonara to Normality! ❯ 'It Was A Very Deceiving Trash Bin' ( Chapter 9 )

Hi everyone! I'm feeling better since my last update, and I'd like to thank everyone who offered me condolences about my school situation. I've got some new friends and I decided that even though some of the old ones are too *blind* to realize that the one who turned on us for preps just uses them for laughs, I won't let it get to me because SHE'S the one who should be laughed at. So…yeah.

Disclaimer: What if I do own it? What if I'm the reincarnated form of YYH's creator? He's not dead, you say, so he can't have a reincarnation? Do you know that for sure? *Glint in eye*.

*The insane asylum people come back*

Nooooooo! Don't take me there again! Watching Mr. Ed and the Teletubbies all day is tooooooooooortuuuuuuuuure! *Sobs at their feet* Anything!

*One of them whispers something to her, she looks disgusted*

Ok. Let me rephrase that: Anything EXCEPT kinky sexual favors involving an iguana named Herman with a pink, heart shaped collar!

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Earth, Chika's house

Chika twitched, a possessed look in her eye, 'Must not kill bastard…must not kill bastard…must not kill bastard…' she thought, trying to calm herself. Of course, the use of the word 'bastard' did about anything but that.

Shishi cleared his throat, "Er…I know what you must be thinking…" he began awkwardly, "But it isn't at all like I wasn't justified in doing…that," he pointed to the wrecked computer.

"You're explanation better include something akin to 'I was being attacked by aliens and the computer was annihilated by their laser vision' for me to calm down one shitty bit," she snarled out, greatly emphasizing the last three words.

"The English," responded Shishi, as though that explained the whole thing.

"Yes? What ABOUT the English?" asked Chika slowly, with barely suppressed rage, as though speaking to a two-year-old that had just broken a multimillion-dollar vase.

"They're damn annoying! What idiot came up with 'ASL'?! Where do they get off thinking their Japanese is perfectly impeccable?! Why do they think if you live with a female, you two must be making hot, wild monkey love every day?! They're crazy!"

"YOU LISTEN! I HAVE ENLGISH FRIENDS, AND YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE INSULTING THEM!" she screamed at the top of her voice.

"Why yes, I do believe I AM!" he shouted back.

"YOU'D SOUND JUST AS BAD SPEAKING ENGLISH AS THEY DO JAPANESE!"

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I MASTERED THE LANGUAGE 327 YEARS 10 MONTHES AND 45 DAYS AGO!"

"Well we don't all LIVE that long in the FIRST place!" she snapped.

"Oh ye of pathetic life span," said Shishi dramatically.

"Now, tell me again why you broke the computer?" asked Chika with forced calm.

"Because your little friend 'Aggie McGonagall' is even more annoying than you, if possible!" he shot back.

Chika blinked, "Oh yeah…Aggie's the one with the Harry Potter fetish. She actually claims to be Minerva McGonagall's squib granddaughter…" she appeared to ponder this for a moment, "but even if she's a tad…well…touched in the head…that's no reason to break MY computer! What with your demonic powers, couldn't you just zap over to England and break hers?! Or do you just enjoy tormenting me?!"

Shishi stared blankly for a moment. He hadn't thought of breaking the annoying one's computer. But as he thoroughly wanted Chika to believe him all knowing and omnipotent he couldn't let her know the thought hadn't crossed his mind! So instead, he smirked and turned on his most charming voice, "Why yes, I do enjoy tormenting you, thanks so much for asking."

Uh-oh, Shishi. Wrong answer. Chika let out something that sounded almost like a battle cry and launched herself at him beating her with every ounce, every reserve of power she possessed. When her arms refused to punch any longer, she picked up the computer's broken monitor and bashed him over the head with it for good measure.

"Really human, you're rather pathetic. I've stood here patiently during your onslaught, but do you think you're quite done now?" he asked impatiently.

Chika stopped, "Here's a hand mirror. Take a look at your face and laugh again, I dare you!" she handed it to him.

Shishi took the mirror and stared, seemingly so shocked, he'd died standing up with his eyes open in a permanent expression of horror.

"Well?" Chika asked evilly, breaking him out of his trance.

"You killed my face!" he squeaked in high, little-girlish voice, and promptly fainted.

Chika shivered, "Ugh. Don't use that high voice. Reminds me of Unburinge-Sensei. Bad boy," she lugged him over to the garbage can and threw him in unceremoniously.

'She will die…' thought Shishi's subconscious in…uh…the place where your subconscious goes when you faint. Let's call it 'Happy Land'.

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Happy Land

'Shishi? Is that YOU'RE subconscious I see drifting next to mine?' thought the subconscious of Suzuki.

'I guess so. Mine's prettier than yours.'

'They all look the SAME! We're all little white blobs floating in an endless sea of nothingness in-'

'God damnit, Suzuki. I HATE it when you go philosophical on me. It gives me a headache, so stop it now.'

'You deserve all the headaches you can get! I had to deal with your fans after you die-'

'What?'

'I just realized…YOU BASTARD! YOU'RE NOT DEAD! I'LL KILL YOU!'

'That won't solve anything, will it? It'll just make me REALLY dead, and you'll have whatever problems you were having before.'

'And you say I make you confused. But do you know that your fans accused me of being gay and locking you up for a sex slave?!'

Pause

'Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Dear Lord, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a good, long time!'

'Shut up, Shishi. It's NOT funny.'

'Oooh, bold and capitalization emphasis, I'm real scared now.'

'You should be. I proved that I wasn't gay, and then they became MY fans, and the only reason I'm knocked out right now is because THEY did it, and they're probably gang raping me as we speak!'

'You poor baby. I've been there and back again about five times, so stop whining you pansy!'

'Do you know how much I wanted to murder you and eat you right now?'

'Didn't know you were into cannibalism.'

'Haha. You're a real riot. My non-existent sides are splitting from laughter.'

'You know, you're hell is nothing compared to mine.'

'Oh? What's worse than being a gang raped by women you don't even know?'

'Being stuck in Ningenkai with a harpy human who tries to murder you at every given chance, I swear. And Koenma is making me stay here.'

'I'd rather be there with you.'

'I dare you then, come and face the wrath of the human from hell!'

'After the finals are over. I gave the Urameshi team our items so they could flatten Toguro.'

'YOU GAVE ONE OF THEM MY SWORD?!'

'Yes. Kuwabara.'

'I hate you.'

'Good. I hated you from the moment I realized you left me here to suffer. Oh…joy…looks like I'm being called back to my body now so I can be permanently scarred…'

'I hope you scream and die of the trauma.'

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Earth, Chika's house, which is a good thing because the italics are hurting my eyes

"WAKE UP WAKA-BAKA!" screeched Chika.

Shishi rubbed his head, "Waka-baka? Humans are morons…I'm going to sleep now…hey wait! I'm in a trash bin!" he yelped and got up, gently dusting off his bottom.

Chika started laughing, "You just called HUMANS morons? At least I'd notice right away if I was in a trash bin!"

"It was a very deceptive trash bin," stated Shishi, he then marched off looking highly affronted.

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Uh-huh, go me. My names for places are extremely creative, doncha think? Happy Land. Yay. And if you're wondering why I didn't put any actions in the 'Happy Land' part, I figured since there were only two people, you could probably tell fairly well who was speakingand, well, the two of them were little transparent blobs! Little transparent blobs can't do anything!

Next up: Look for Suzuki to appear at the Kurusu residence (As if Shishi isn't a handful by himself. Or if you want to look at it from Leiko's point of view: As if Shishi AND Chika aren't a handful by THEMSELVES.) and not for the next chapter, but for future ones, remember Aggie McGonagall. She didn't JUST appear in the last chapter and here for the sake of appearing. Of course, until she gets a real 'character' per se, I have a feeling I'll make her into a running joke, so she won't be that hard to forget.

Until the next update!

~TRF