Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Stuped Ideotic Moronic Things that Kurama Does ❯ Idiots and Dragons ( Chapter 16 )

Hey again, I felt inspired by this great Prince of Tennis fic on fanfiction.net, it was soooooooooooo funny, it’s called Death on the Horizon, go read it! *snickers* they made Fuji psycho.

Anywho, I finally finished the next chapter to SIMTtKD… Long title, ne? I just started calling it ‘Stupid Kurama’ when I’m talkin’ to KR, lol, she gets mad at me for it, though.

Disclaimer: I don’t own D&D, YYH, James Bond, Dir en Grey, or Lord of the Rings.

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A little while after the last incident (LotR) Hiei and Kuronue were yet again bored… and still sugar high and drunk! ^^ Yay sugar and beer! Anywho… Kurama had the “brilliant” idea of playing D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) .

Kuronue: Hey, hey, Hicchan should be a hobbit!

Hiei: I’m not a hobbit!!

Kuronue: You’re right, you’re not a half-ling, you’re a quarter-ling!

Hiei: DIE!! *throws Mungojerrie at Kuronue*

Kuronue: *gets hit in head with furry, evil, gay, orange cat from hell… no, not Kyo, Mungojerrie!*

All Kyo Fans: *attempts kill me for gay comment* *can’t*

Kurama: … *really confused* Who’s Kyo…?

Dir en Grey Fans: Kyo! *drools*

Deadly Whispers: Not that Kyo, baka! Kyo from Fruits Basket! Kyon-chan!

Kurama, Hiei, and Kuronue: *completely lost*

Deadly Whispers: … Oh yeah, back to the fic! ^___^;; *disappears*

Kuronue: Nuuuuuuuuuu, come back, totally random, idiot, yaoi fan girl who’s identity I still have no idea of!

Hiei: … Mmm, sweet snow… ^^

Kurama: … Mkay then… that was..random…

This went on form a while and they FINALLY started playing. . .

For about fifteen minuets, until Hiei and Kuronue got bored again and started hitting each other with throw pillows while yelling: two magic, two magic!

Kurama: *seriously pisses* Would you two shut up!

Kuronue: Take it like a bitch!

Hiei: *throws pillow at Kuronue’s head*

Kuronue: *gets hit in head* Hey, you can’t do that! I have a magical shield around me!

Hiei: Oh yeah, well my magical quarter-ling powers break your shield!

Kurama: I have a headache…

Kuronue: I know! Have some erm, umm, punch™! Erm, umm, punch™ solves everything!

Kurama: … *drinks randomly places erm, umm, punch™* *drunk off of erm, umm, punch™*

Hiei: Why do you have to put “erm, umm” before it all the time…?

Kurama: Omg, he really is a hobbit!!

Hiei: *sobs* No I’m not! *hits Kurama in head with pillow* Four magic!

Kurama: x.x

Kuronue: Hahah! ^^

Hiei: *hit Kuronue in head with pillow* Four magic!

Kuronue: x.x

Kurama: Oh yeah, well my giant dwarf throws a bolder form my magical rock quarry at your quarter-ling!

Hiei: Well my quarter-ling cast magic missiles at your bolder and breaks it!

Kurama: You can’t do that, my bolder is invincible! … And man eating!!

Kuronue: Nuuuuuuuuuu, think of the ponies!

Hiei: Screw ponies!

Kurama: But what about Fatty Lumpkin?! (a/n: Guess who Fatty Lumpkin is! I’ll put the answer in the bottom author’s note, the uke of all author’s notes! Buwa ha hah!)

Hiei and Kuronue: …?

Kurama: Weeeeee, there’s a pony and a hobbit named Fatty!

Kuronue: I am not fat!

Hiei: Yes you are!

Kuronue: And you’re short!

Hiei: Ahah! So you admit that you’re fat!

Kuronue: ((O.O)) No!!

Kurama: Oh my god, they killed Kenny! ((O_O))

Hiei: You bastards!

Kuronue: Who?! Who killed Kenny?!

Kurama and Hiei: …

Kurama: You know… they…

Hiei: Yeah… th..they’re bastards… (a/n: That actually happened in an episode.)

Mungojerrie and Friday: ………………………&he llip;……

Kurama: Kitties! ^_^ *glomps Mungojerrie and Friday*

Kuronue: Me wanna join!! *glomps too*

Hiei: ((O.O)) *backs away slowly* Evil faggot glomp pile… of doom!!

Friday: Hey!

Mungojerrie: Ahem?

Friday: Fine, “meow!”

Mungojerrie: ^^

Kuronue: Silly midget, Tricks are for kids!

Hiei: I don’t want no damn Tricks!

Kuronue: You want the Tricks? You can’t handle the Tricks!

Kurama: I’m not a midget! ^^

Kuronue: Silly faggot, tricks are for kids!

Kurama: I am not a bundle of sticks! (see ‘fagot’ in dictionary)

Meanwhile:

Furonue: *sneezes*

Back at Kurama’s House:

Hiei: Plotting revenge is fun! ^^

Kurama and Kuronue: Wha…?

Hiei: Nothing! ^^ *innocent smile*

Kurama: It puts the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the hose again!

Hiei: … I refuse to comment…

Kurama: Save the bananas, they’re dying!

Kuronue: They have feelings too!

Hiei: You would want to save the bananas.

Kurama and Kuronue: … Wha’…

Hiei: Ohmigawd, are you cheating on me with a banana?!

Kurama: O_O Don’t say “ohmigawd.”

Kuronue: What do you mean “Are you cheating on me”? … Kurama, are you cheating on me with Hiei?! … Who you’re cheating on with a banana?!

Kurama: <.< … >.> Umm… maybe…

Hiei: *gasps* How could you!

Kurama: Since when are we even together?!

Kuronue: Yeah, Kurama’s with me!!

Kurama: … Who are you…?

Kuronue: I am Bill and I come from the land of evil, punk rock Carebears!

Kurama and Hiei: … *silence… dun dun dun!*

Kuronue: … *awkwardly* And I have many goats…

Kurama and Hiei: …

Hiei: … Evil, punk rock Carebears, you say…?

Kurama: … And goats…?

Kuronue: Yup. ^^

Kurama: … Oh… well if you’re Bill, then I wanna be Tom Bombadil!

Hiei: Then who do I get to be?

Kurama: You may be my pony, Fatty Lumpkin; and I shall ride you off into the sunset and talk to random wizards about moss and rocks.

Hiei: … Mkay then… can’t I just be a guy named Bob?

Kurama: That works too. ^^

Kuronue: One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

Hiei and Kurama: . . .

Kuronue: What?! It’s not like I have anything else to say!

Kurama: Hey, are you calling me fat?!

Kuronue: . . . *sarcastically* Yes, Kurama, I am calling you fat.

Kurama: *condescendingly* That’s what I thought.

Hiei: I’m Bob! ^^

Kuronue: Bond, James Bond.

Kurama: But he’s dead, remember…

Hiei: *cringe*

Kuronue: Hey, if James Bond is double-0-seven, does that make #10 0-ten or double-0-ten?

Kurama: I have no clue what you just said.

Kuronue: … Oh yeah, well my hair’s prettier than yours!

Kurama: You’re right, your hair must be vanquished!

Kuronue: ((O.O))

Hiei: Haha!

Kurama: My Giant Dwarf kills your hair using his ‘+2 Morning Star of Cleve’!

Hiei: That’s a big title for a mace…

Kurama: *tapping foot* *to Hiei* We’re waiting.

Hiei: What…?

Kurama: Do my bidding, Giant Dwarf!

Hiei: I am not a dwarf!!

Kuronue: *sarcastically* Yeah right, and I don’t wear dresses… wait… Goddammit.

Hiei: Hey, how can I be a quarter-ling, Bob, and a giant dwarf…?

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*In the Lord of the Rings book, there was a guy named Tom Bombadil and he had a pony named Fatty Lumpkin, but they them (and Goldberry) out of the movie. And, yes, there’s a hobbit named Fatty, they left him out of the movie too.

So how was it? Go review and let me know. As I keep saying, I take requests, and if I get no good ideas, I’ll be trying to do that yaoi chapter (And if I do, it’s not gonna stay yaoi, just a little hentai humor, like usual, I already have the ending planed out! ^^)