Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ the Shadows that Bind (marina's finest work) ❯ Kurama chapter: What he wants... ( Chapter 14 )

All the time I fly from your view

And I make my world anew

Until the dawn doth cry

And doth make me fly

So this, I sing my lullaby

Just got bored and wrote that before I started this chapter and I thought hey why don't I have that at the start!

Anyways, bad news, my Mom has limited my computer time at home, so now I might not be able to write chapters as frequently!

Parents are idiots…glad I don't have any…

OH SHUT UP!!! Anyways… now you know the deal… *sob*

AND her computer is stuffed up so she can't see your new reviews…

Yes… BUT KEEP REVIEWING!!! If you have any questions, e-mail me at hjones@plcpymble.nsw.edu.au

Please note that all questions will be answered by her, so don't expect any smart answers…

HEY!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING… except Maku and the Demon Slayers and Shadow mistress/masters

You landed softly outside the temple, letting go of Kurama, your body feeling the cold breeze once more, you kept your chest covered, not wanting others to see, you flew up to the window of your room, and carefully opened it, going inside. You made sure you didn't step on anything, and got to your wardrobe, you could hear Maku showering, she was singing to her CD player, Numb by Linkin park blared out, she was actually singing quite well, you saw the silhouette of two feet by the door, you took a guess at them belonging to Hiei…

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be…"

You opened the wardrobe doors and tried to decide what you wear from the large assortment,

"Feeling so faithless lost under the surface…"

You decided the white quarter sleeved top would be good, with the jeans… and the blue Canteen bandanna (AN: Canteen is an Australian charity day, you buy a bandanna to raise money for something….) and black trackie pants. It was quite hard to rip the holes for your wings… you looked in the mirror on the wall… and saw yourself… you had white hair, and blood red eyes… your wings contrasted perfectly with your shirt… you looked really nice…

"I don't know what you're expecting of me… caught under the pressure of walking in your shoes…"

"Caught in the under toe… just caught in the under toe…" you heard Hiei sing softly from outside the door to your room…

"And every step that I take is another mistake to you…."

"Caught in the under toe… just caught in the under toe…" they made a pretty good duo, their voices in perfect harmony… you got on a pair of slip on DKNYs, which were VERY comfortable to your worn out feet. How long had you run today?

"I've become so numb! I can't feel you there! I've become so tired! SO much more aware! I'm becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like ME and be less like YOU"

Who would have guessed Maku could sing like a female version of the Linkin Park lead singer?

"Can't you see that you're smothering me… holding to tightly… afraid to lose control 'cause everything that you thought I would be… had fallen apart right in front of you…"

"Caught in the under toe… just caught in the under toe…" you sat down and listened to her singing, it was like your own personal concert… it sounded perfect… so good.. Hiei and Maku worked so well together, but they fought all the time…

"And every step that I take is another mistake to you…"

"Caught in the under toe… just caught in the under toe…"

"I've become so numb… I can't feel you there! I've become so tired! So much more aware… I'm becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like ME and be less like YOU! And I know! I may end up failing too… but I know! You were just like me, with someone disappointed in you! I've become so numb I can't feel you there, I've become so tired, so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me, and be less like you… I've become so NUMB!!!!!!"

"I can't feel you there…"

"Tired of being what you want me to be…" you sang in a whisper,

"I've become so numb…"

"I can't feel you there"

"Tired of being what you want me to be…" the music became the only thing you heard, except for the sighs from Hiei and Maku… you got up, and opened the door… Hiei was gone. Not that you cared really, you were just worried about Kurama… how did he feel amidst all this? It must be so confusing with your transformation… and than another question popped into your head… How were you going to transform back? Were you going to be stuck like this forever?

"____... you look really nice…" you turned and saw Kurama smiling at you, he had changed into a red t-shirt, and quarter length jeans… he looked very good, his hair colour matched his shirt exactly, 'If he was able to change back from whatever that other form was… than I must be able to do the same!' you noted in your mind, and smiled.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Kurama…" He tinged slightly pink,

"We should be getting to dinner… I think Keiko and Botan are joining us tonight…" you raised a brow, and you started to walk to the dining room…

"Who?"

"Keiko is Yusuke's girlfriend, and Botan is the messenger for Koenma… but don't expect anything from her…" You nodded to Kurama, it was so nice to walk with him, how his clothes moved as he walked… how his hair swished with his movements… how the light caught in his eyes… everything about him seemed so perfect… the only thing that made you feel sad was the thought that he could never be yours… he was like a god compared to you…and that meant he could never be yours… so close… and yet so far… he was out of reach… the only thing you really craved for and the only ting that could not be yours…

"Yusuke has a girlfriend?" you smiled, concocting different images of what she'd be like… probably some kick a$$ girl he knew from around town…

"Yes but…believe me… she will not be what you expect…" When you got tot the dining room, Kurama opened the door, and there were two girls you had never seen before… One had green-blue hair, and matching eyes, the other one had lovely chestnut hair, and eyes.

"Um… Hi my name's Keiko… and this is Botan…" the brown haired girl smiled, SHE WAS KEIKO? She really hadn't been what you had expected…

"OH MY GOSH!! YOU MUST BE _______!!! IT'S GREAT TO FINALLY MEET YOU IN PERSON!!!" Botan jumped up to you and shook your hand vigorously, she seemed to shake your whole body… who ever would have thought she would be like this?

"Um… Hi…" you smiled meekly… Botan pulled you from Kurama, and Keiko came around you too…

"So it is true… you ARE a demon slayer…" Keiko put a hand on one of your wings and unfurled it, looking at the delicate structure of them… you now knew what it felt like to be a bat at the vets…

"Your hands are cold…" you moved your wing out of her hand and wrapped it around yourself,

"So… did you like the clothes we got you?" Botan asked, she was jumping up and down, this girl really had to stay away from the sugar…

"Yes… how did you know I loved Esprit…?"

"Kurama told us…" Botan nodded,

"I don't understand…"

"He was watching over you for a while, and told us when you were found by the demons…"

"That's so sweet…" you sighed, and looked over to him, he was talking to Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei… Maku was talking to Genkai about something, and Yukina was sitting alone in the corner, working on a little tapestry thing. You heard Kuwabara say something, but you didn't catch it, all you could pick up was your name, and Kurama blushed… 'I wonder what that's all about?'

"Anyways, ____ are you listening to me?" Botan huffed, you smiled, and looked to her,

"Yes… as you were saying?"

"Well… anyways… I know who you have a crush on…" Botan jostled your shoulder and giggled, so did Keiko…

"Who than?"

"Kurama… you have a HUGE crush on him!" Keiko giggled some more, than Botan joined in, louder than Keiko… louder than you thought people could giggle, and you blushed even more…

"Why don't we tell him, I'm sure he'd love to know!" Botan smiled, and you glared at her with a furious passion,

"No! This is our secret, ok? Or I'll tell Kuwabara you guys think he's hot…" the pair paled, and you laughed,

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh… wouldn't I?" you gave them a sly look, and they sighed,

"Ok! We don't say a word, and Kuwabara doesn't try and hit on us, ok?" you agreed, and all of you shook hands. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, and you looked back, it was Kurama…

"Hey… how about we get out of here and get some fresh air?" He smiled at you, and you nodded, you heard stifled giggles, and you glared back at the two. They kept giggling. You followed Kurama, he led you to the balcony you had been on this morning… the roses were highlighted by the silver moonlight… Kurama was standing next to you, and he sighed, "I'm sorry about this morning…" he whispered, his voice no louder than the breeze…

"It's ok… what's done is done, what's said is said!" you smiled and laughed, but he shook his head…

"I should have told you before… I'm not human…"

"That's a bit obvious now…" you laughed, and he smiled ever so slightly,

"I know… I'm really a demon, a Youko, or as some call us, Kitsune…" he put his hands on the balcony railing, and he sighed, you frowned, why is he so upset?

"So? How does this affect anything?"

"My other form… is like a totally different person… almost nothing like me… and yet… he is me… and I don't know what he would do around you… probably something that I, this form… would regret…" he sighed, and looked down, "There… that's the truth… at least most of it…" You walked to him, and put your hand on his back,

"Hey… so what? He can't hurt me to bad, besides, Hiei and Maku will protect me…"

"I didn't mean that way… The Kitsune form of me, or Youko as I like to call him, is a hentai… he doesn't care about morals or anything… he would just… do as he pleased with you… probably without any regards for your feelings… and if that were to happen…" he took a breath, and sighed, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself…" you frowned, and felt unsure of yourself… should you try and comfort him… or not? You decided there was nothing really to loose… and you put one of your hands over his own,

"But that's not going to happen… we'll make sure that we're always near the others, so they can stop him… you don't need to worry…" you smiled ,he looked up into your eyes directly, you knew that if you looked away you would break everything you had worked so hard on building, and you locked your eyes with is, trying not to loose yourself... trying desperately…

"But what if they can't stop him?"

"Than something will happen, everything works out for the best in the end! No worries, ok?" you smiled and he smiled back,

"____… don't change… you are so optimistic… and always know what to say and when to say it…" His smile and compliment made you soar, he wrapped his arms around you, and hugged you lightly,

"Hey, that's what friends are meant to be…" 'But I don't just want to be your friend…' you smiled, how perfectly your body seemed to fit against him, he ended the hug, and smiled to you.

"You're right… as always…"

"I don't always get it right! This is one of the precious few!" you laughed, Kurama smiled, not whole heartedly though… something was still plaguing him… "Now Kurama… what's wrong really, I know there is so don't try and say there isn't…"

"It's getting harder to hold him back…" he whispered, you could see the conflict in his eyes… he was telling the truth, and the sparkle of amber in his eyes was there to prove it…

"We should get back to the others…" you whispered, he nodded, and you both went inside. You wondered what Kurama's Youko form was like… maybe if it was let loose it wouldn't be so bad… curiosity grew in the back of your mind…

*All the things he said..

All the things he said

Running through my head

Running through my head

Running through my head*

"What were you two doing out there?" Botan nudged your shoulder, you growled at her, she backed of, knowing that you pissed off would not be something she would ever want to see…

"We just talked, nothing more…" You served yourself some more tonkutsu (sp?) and rice, the food here was really exquisite… it tasted so incredible… the curiosity still plagued your mind... but you ignored it, wanting nothing more than to eat your food… But it just wouldn't stop… when you finished your food, and desert… Kuwabara got brain freeze, and everyone made fun of him… but you decided to leave, and you went out to the balcony, wanting some space… You heard someone come out behind you… you turned, and saw Kurama… the one who was making your curiosity so strong…

"______, what's wrong… since we had our talk… you've seemed awfully quiet…" he walked over to you, and put a hand on you shoulder,

"Nothing, just my stupid mind being curious… that's all…" you laughed, and he frowned,

"Curious?"

"I just keep wondering what you'd be like as Youko, he can't be as bad as you say he is…no one can be…" Kurama flinched slightly at this,

"He can… trust me…" Kurama shook his head and sighed, you saw his hair tinged silver… maybe if you kept him around you for long enough…

"How can anyone be like that?" you raised a brow,

"I don't know… I'm sure he would, but I don't… and I probably never will… we used to be one person… and now we're two… Kurama and Youko… when it used to be Youko Kurama… I used to understand… I used to know…" his grip on your shoulder tightened just a little, and his eyes flashed amber… just a little more…

"Why don't you know anymore?" Kurama stared into your eyes… and you saw he was starting to lose his conflict…

"Because of an incident that split us… I'd rather not talk about it…" he sighed, his eyes turned back slowly to emerald…

"But how come you are in control and he isn't if he's so powerful?" he frowned to himself,

"I… I don't know… I guess… maybe he should be in control…" than he lost it… he realised what was happening, and made a quick gesture for you to leave, before his spirit lost complete control, and you felt the grip on your shoulder tighten… His eyes were pure amber, and his hair silver… the ears were coming from the top of his head… silver… and beautiful, his tail was silver, and wrapped around himself… he looked you up and down… you couldn't tell what he was thinking behind those amber orbs… he frightened, and excited you at the same time… how would he act? Would he really be like what Kurama said?

"…I see Kurama has at last found a worthy mate…" he chuckled, his eyes showed you his feelings, he was mischievous and kind… but was it all a put on?

"Worthy… mate?" you raised a brow, unsure of what to think…

"I see you're a Demon Slayer… which means that to gain your affection… I'll have to beat you… and dominate you the old fashion way…. No matter… it will be a great pleasure to fight such a rare adversary…" he ignored you question, and went into a fighting stance… you knew the only way you could get anything out of him was by beating him… and answers would be good… but what if he beat you? Surely he wouldn't do anything rash… would he? This, Youko… seemed to be unpredictable… wild… untamed… striking fear and curiosity into you… would he fight like Kurama? What would really happen is he beat you? The thoughts were endless… you shook them off, Youko didn't have to make a single move… for you were already at his mercy… the roses around you bound you to the railing, bending you over, your feet touched the ground, but your torso was over the rail, there was nothing supporting you but the rose vine… "A pity… I thought you would have mastered more of your powers by now… but I guess I was wrong… you are only just blossoming… a shame…" he lent over you, his clawed hand lightly caressed your face, you tried to get loose and push him away from you, but it was no good… the vines were too strong…

"Bastard…" you muttered under your breath… he frowned,

"That's no way to treat your mate…" he nuzzled your neck, his hair draping onto you, it was soft… you had the urge to just stroke through it… you didn't understand… and what did he mean mate?

"Mate?"

"You still have a human based mind… but one day… I'm sure that will change… a mate is the demon accuvilante of husband or wife… usually though, mates are marked unwillingly…." Youko smiled, and you shuddered… you felt your heart gem feel like it was burning up, Youko jumped back… and hissed, "So… it is true… you are a marked one… next in line… incredible power…" The vines around you shrivelled up,

"I won't be marked by you…" you growled, Youko stepped back, and growled, he picked up a stray rose, and transformed it into a whi p… you knew that whip against whip, wouldn't be such a good idea… what were you going to do?

We don't need a weapon…

You suddenly started chanting something and making signs with your hands neither of which you could ever comprehend the meaning of… Youko watched, mesmerized, as a beam of white light erupted from your heart gem, and hit him square on, in the heart, he fell back, and transformed back into Kurama…

"Kurama!!!" you gasped and ran over, cradling him in your arms, he laughed…

"I never thought anyone who hadn't finished training could beat Youko… I'm so proud of you…." You sighed with relief that he was mostly ok….

"I just have times of incredible luck…" you smiled, and suddenly felt the true effects of the blast take their toll… it had cost way more than you bargained for… as you collapsed over Kurama… and heard him say something… but it was all jumbled, you felt him put you on his lap… but you just couldn't see… everything was blurred… and slowly the darkness ate you away… and you saw no more…

GAH!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!!

…they can't be dead, than the whole story would have been a waste of time…

Oh yeah….

And she actually wrote this…

Yeah…. I actually- HEY!!!
sometimes… she even makes Kuwabara look SMART!

WHAT!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

…she's very good you know…

….eh?

She'll understand… eventually…

….anyways… >.> review!