Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ the Shadows that Bind (marina's finest work) ❯ Hiei chapter: Broken ( Chapter 15 )

The pain I feel is superficial…

Nothing really jabs…

Except his eyes cold and blazing…

They hit me the hardest by far…

And all the while I try to keep cool…

But always I end up looking the fool…

No matter where I go nor what I do…

It's true…

I'm in love with you…

You make me trip over my feet…

In the train I can never find the right seat…

Because your there

And it's the way you stare…

It's so true…

I'm in love with you…

Another little stupid thing I wrote… and here's the story…

But first… a note from our author…

My computer has stuffed up so I can't read any new reviews! T.T…. but keep on reviewing, I'll get past it, eventually…

In the mean time… if you have any questions….

Or advice… e-mail me, at hjones@plcpymble.nsw.edu.au

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except for Maku, Demon Slayer and Shadow Mistress/masters

You were sitting alone in the darkness… nothing to keep you company, nothing could ever tell you how long you had sat there…

…why did you protect him?

A person appeared in front of you, he had black hair, and bright blue eyes, was he the one who had been tormenting you this whole time? He had white, porcelain skin, and was wearing black robes, his eyes showed only confusion. He vanished, and only his eyes stayed…

"Huh?" you watched his eyes slowly advance, coming to you.

Why did you save him, from the darkness?

"I couldn't let him die!" you growled, this man was strange… he was so familiar… and yet…

…a stranger… You just won't remember me… no matter how hard your demon spirits try… you just… are existent… not accepting yourself for what you are… and what you must be…

"What do you mean?" the rest of body appeared again… his mouth wasn't moving… and yet he was speaking, how?

You WILL remember me… I will MAKE you…

He lifted your head, and you saw it in his eyes, anger, frustration, hurt…

"Make me remember what?" you frowned, he shook his head,

You haven't changed one bit… Not one little bit… so innocent… so… you…

"What the hell are you talking about?"

…you will know…

The pain began… it was as if someone was stabbing you, twisting a knife deeper into your skin… you buckled over and it felt like you were dieing…

Don't you remember now? Don't you?

The pain made tears threaten to fall… but you suppressed them… one lone tear dripped down your cheek… and as it left your face transformed into a black gem… a memory started to surface…

"Yuniku!" you felt someone shake you, and you opened your eyes to crimson…

"Hiei?"

"Who's that? It's me, me Doku, you took a nasty blow to the head… I'm surprised he let you live…" the person, Doku…. Looked almost exactly like Hiei, except his right arm was not covered, and he had no bandanna on… his eyes showed totally different emotions to Hiei, there was no anger… no twisted pain… but there was love… kindness… caring… was this what Hiei would have been like, if… whatever made him so cold… had never happened?

"Right… Doku… how could I have forgotten… but… who is… He?" You asked, maybe you would finally know the name of your tormentor…

"His name? You really have forgotten…" he sighed, and shook his head… "Yuni, his name's…" suddenly, darkness came up from the ground and swallowed him up… taking him down, there was nothing you could do… it happened to fast… the world blurred, and vanished into darkness…

Doku… the one who always stood in my way… now he once more appears… but this time under a different alias… Hiei… But he will perish all the same… and you will be part of the ritual…

"What Ritual?" you growled, the voice chuckled…

Foolish mortal… you have no idea of what is to happen…your mind is empty of the past… because you refuse to see…

"What the hell are you talking about?" You felt frustrated and confused…. This voice was not the usually one… it was deeper… and much more sinister…

You will know… you will know in time… you are just forming… a blossoming flower... nearing the perfection that I so crave… and when you have reached that stage… only than can the world once more be perfect in the darkness…

"What?" Nothing here made sense… but than again, had any of it ever? You realised, that in reality, all of this had become just one big puzzle… and they were slowly giving you the pieces… than, the darkness took hold of you body again, and pulled you down, but this time, you knew that if it did… your soul would not receive redemption… you struggled to fly out, but it was no good… the shadows had already immobilised them…Panic took over as you tried so hard to break free… but the darkness was always stronger…

Give in… give into the darkness… open your heart to the darkness… and become what you are meant to be!

Suddenly Hiei appeared just as your face was going under, you reached your hand up to him, he looked to you, and you saw something flash over his eyes… it looked like… fear!?

"____!" he yelled, he was over holding your hand, pulling you out in no time at all… he pulled you up and out, and held you close… you started to shiver convulsively… the darkness… had been so cold… it was terrifying…

*Deep inside your soul there's a hole you don't want to see

Everyday what you say makes no sense to me

Every time I try, I can't get my head around you…*

"Hiei…" you whispered, he pulled you to his chest, warming you…

You were lucky… this time… but next time… the ritual will begin…

"___... what's this all about?" Hiei glared into your eyes, his eyes showed everything they usually did… but this time… the hurt seemed to run deeper…

"I don't know myself… I just don't understand…" you whispered, you knew the hurt in his eyes was caused by you… and a lone tear travelled down you cheek, black... and defined, as it left contact with your skin…. It transformed into a gem, he took it in his hand… and looked it over… his eyes showing confusion… than he pocketed the gem, and let go of you, getting up, and turned away from you…

"You do know... you're just not telling me… and if you don't tell me right now, I'll force you too…" he whispered, he frightened you, knowing he was way more powerful than you, he could tell when you lied… but not when you told the truth…

"But it is the truth Hiei…" you slowly walked to him, and put a hand on his shoulder… he pushed your hand off… his other hand went up to the bandanna across his forehead… and he ripped it off… and you saw it… the blue… third eye… you suddenly felt your body stiffen and float in the air… you were paralysed… it was hard to breath. Than, you felt it, his presence in your mind… he forced you to submit… allowing him to go through your every thought… it was as if he was going through a corridor of doors… throwing them open until he found the right one, you allowed him, knowing it would be useless to stop him, and you had nothing to hide… but it wasn't your memories… it was the demon's memories… you suddenly realised… and that would mean… oh no… Suddenly, Hiei was out of your section of the mind, and into the Demon Slayer's section… you were suddenly pulled into the mind, and you were put under Hiei's torture… searing pain went through your body…

"Tell me what he means…" you heard him whisper, his tone promised relief… but you didn't know yourself…

"I don't know…"

"Wrong answer…" the pain grew inside you, and you opened your eyes, and saw your skin was starting to burn…

"Hiei… please stop… I'm not made to put up with this sort of punishment… I'm only human…" you looked up, and saw a tear running down his cheek… black as your own… and it transformed like yours...

"I can't… I want to know… and I won't stop till I have what I want…" you felt like you were going to die… and you hadn't told Hiei how you felt… you couldn't die without doing that…

"Hiei… before this kills me… I just want to say… I love you…" you whispered as the pain became too much for you to bear… and you blacked out…

"How's she doing, Botan?" you heard a man say… it sounded like Hiei…

"You're very interested in her all of a sudden Hiei…" you heard a girl laugh…

"Hn… baka… just hope she doesn't die, I don't want to see a spirit jail cell…" he growled, you slowly opened your eyes… and saw Hiei was talking to a green haired girl…

"OH YOU'RE AWAKE!!!" the green haired girl smiled, and bounced up and down.

"Yes… it appears so…" you smiled meekly, still feeling the pain slightly from before…

"Hn… you baka… you shouldn't have tried to save me… you are meant to survive, it doesn't matter what happens to me… baka…" he growled to you, but his eyes this time didn't show any hurt… they showed self loathing… why?

"And I was meant to let you die?" you raised a brow,

"Yes." You rolled your eyes, Botan had gone out of the room… leaving you two alone…

"Well, sorry… but that's against my nature, I don't leave people I care about to DIE…" you laughed, Hiei looked into your eyes,

"So… you meant that?"

"Meant what?"

"What you said before you came back to consciousness…?" His eyes almost looked pleading… you blushed wildly…

"Um… well… yes…" you looked up into Hiei's eyes… and saw all… his self anguish… self loathing… his hate for himself… you knew what he was going to do… and it scared you…

"Hn… for once you speak truth Ningen… you won't have to worry about me bothering you anymore…" Hiei looked away, and walked to the window… he opened it, jumping out… you got up, and ran to the window… you knew what he was going to do… he was going to kill himself… and it scared you terribly…

You decided after a while to fly out and find him… and at least try to stop him… you couldn't let him die… you just couldn't… You spotted him at a seaside cliff, it had taken you ages to find him… but you had… and that's what mattered…

"Hiei!" you called… he looked back to you, but it was too late, he stepped off the cliff… and started to fall… Panic and fear embraced you, and you flew faster than anyone had ever flown before, and caught him, saving him, he looked into your eyes, with anger, and pain… he had wanted to end it… and you had made him feel worse by saving him.

"Why did you save me!?" he yelled at you, he didn't understand how much that hurt you… you landed on the cliff, and took hold of his face,

"I saved you… because I LOVE you… and don't you dare do that to me again!" you kissed him, deeply, at first, he stayed stiff, probably shocked… so were you… that had been so impulsive… so you… than you felt him return the kiss, but pulled your hands off his face, and slowly, reluctantly…

"Don't do that…" he whispered, was that sweat across his brow?

"Are you… rejecting me?" you felt a huge wave of pain press onto you, threatening to break you…

"…hn…" he ran from you, into the forest… and vanished… you fell to your knees, and felt the pain slowly crack… and break your heart… you lay on the ground, and cried, and you were unable to stop… the pain was too much… how come he rejected you? You had wasted your first kiss on him… and now… he just… the pain was all you knew now… you embraced it… and allowed it to bring you down into the depression zone… the darkness there was worse than anything in your dreams… because this one… would certainly slowly destroy you… from the inside out…

"Why Hiei? Why…." You whispered, picking up on of the gems you had cried… looking it over… seeing ever little detail to the darkness within it… you got up… and slowly walked to the edge of the cliff… "Why… why…" you shook your head… and wondered if you should step off… or not… you decided not… it wasn't original… You had seen a hot spring before… maybe you could drown yourself there… You flew back to Genkai's temple, through the open window, when out of the darkness, Kurama and Maku grabbed you …

"What happened out there?" Kurama growled,

"Yeah? Hiei hasn't said a word… not even called Kuwabara a baka…" Maku growled,

"…He shouldn't feel hurt… he was the one who rejected me…" you whispered, and pushed them off… you ran to the wardrobe, and ran into the toilet… to get changed… you heard Kurama and Maku gasp as the information registered…

You were flying, you were holding a towel, and flying to the hot springs… Your swimmers were sea blue, one piece… you knew the dangers of wearing a bikini anywhere… them getting flipped up, someone 'accidentally' pulling the tie of your bikini… You landed next to the hot spring… and put your towel on a rock… and slowly waded into the water… it was warm and soothing… and it took away the aches of your body… but it didn't help with the pain of your broken heart though… You lay on you back in the water, closing your eyes… your senses numbing… you let the cool breeze blow over you… but the warmth of the water kept you warm… suddenly, you felt something taker hold of your leg, you looked down, and saw the dark tendril around your leg, you tried to get it off and in the process swam to the middle of the spring… and more tendrils took hold of you, and pulled you down, you struggled to get away… but to no avail… you saw a hand come down to you, and you took hold, and blacked out…

BWAHAHAHA!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO evil!!! Leaving you guys hanging on a thread… HAHAHAH!!!

…you're just mad… not evil…

Gr… I will kill you one day…

You can't… I'm just a voice inside your head…

DAMN IT!!!! Hold on… I may not be able to kill you… but I can make you SUFFER!!!! >D

…I'm shaking,, anyways review!