Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ An Oscar Mier Field Day! ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Charmin brand toilet paper (nor do I have any special desire to), straight jackets made of duct tape (thank you Sam), smelly socks (thank goodness), the official Oscar Mier Wiener Mobile, any members of the TPHC except for Jim the Coconut and Yoko Kurama is my muse, so you figure that one out.

Author's Note: I know I haven't posted new chapters in a while, and you must know that I am really sorry! Also, I'd like to thank all of those people who reviewed my story! THANKS! On to the next insanity-packed chapter!

Chapter 4: An Oscar Mier Field Day!

Everyone glanced out into the raging highway. Hiei stood before them, smirking. No one, it seemed, was willing to accept the challenge.

However, after a moment of thought, Neko (A.K.A. Kagome Neko Mononoke) raised her hand. She was a demon of medium height and stature, though, she did posess a few unique features; claws, cat ears, a tail, and an impressive set of fangs.

~*~

Neko: I'll go first! *grabs a stick of flaming toilet paper* I'm ready!

Hiei: Hn. Go right ahead.

~*~

Neko smiled and walked into the street, her long blonde hair billowing in the wind. She carried the flaming baton of papery doom in her right hand, and had the two foot long piece of toilet paper attached to her left shoe. She took a deep breath and waved to the others.

She begins to recite the chant, parading around in the middle of the street. However, her march of protest was cut short by the official Oscar Mier Wiener Mobile! She scurried back across the street, towards the group.

~*~

Ruzena: *to Kawaii Youko* She's not going to make it!

Kawaii Youko: I can't watch! *covers eyes*

Baku: RUN NEKO! *cheering her on*

~*~

Neko makes it across the street, narrowly avoiding the giant hotdog shaped vehicle. The driver, startled by the presence of a five and a half foot tall cat in the road, swerved and flipped. Cristy smiled.

~*~

Cristy: FREE HOTDOGS!

Hiei: *salutes her* Grand idea!

~*~

The group eventually approaches the over-turned vehicle, a hungry look in each of their eyes. Hiei, who in the frenzy of things has lost his hat, is now chewing on the giant rubber hotdog.

~*~

Yoko Kurama: Uh, Hiei? *sweatdrops*

Hiei: *looks at him* WHAT?!

Yoko Kurama: That's a rubber float, the real hotdogs are inside.

Hiei: *shrugs* This one will do nicely. *continues ripping the hotdog to shreds*

Kawaii: *to Neko* Now look what you've started! Hiei will be high on helium from the hotdog and I'm sure no one needs that!

Hiei: *in a high pitched voice* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! AH! MY VOICE!

Neko: *cracks up laughing* HA HA HA!

Hiei: *now rabid* ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?!?

Neko: *unable to control herself* Y-your v-voice!

Hiei: *foam dripping from his mouth* DIE!!!!! *jumps at Neko*

~*~

Hiei, being high off of the helium, was forced to be restrained and fitted into a state-of-the-art straight jacket made completely of duct tape. After growing tired of his incessant babbling, Kawaii Youko retrieved the secret weapon she had been storing for such an occasion; a smelly sock which was betrothed to her by Sam (A.K.A. spontaneous human combustion) after a raid of her brother's room.

With the sock in place, Hiei was a docile as a lamb; a half suffocated lamb.

~*~

Chrystaline: *wipes brow* Phew, that was nearly impossible!

Hiei: *through the smelly sock* T-THIS IS F-FOUL BEYOND B-BELIEF!

Baku: You wouldn't shut up!

Hiei: I-IT'S CRUEL AND U-UNUSUAL P-P-PUNISHMENT!

Kawaii Youko: So goes the justice system.

Hiei: *death glare* KURAMA! W-WILL YOU H-HELP ME?!

Yoko Kurama: *eating a hotdog* I don't think so.

Hiei: J-JIM?!

Jim the Coconut: *silence*

Hiei: THEY HAVE R-RALLIED AGAINST ME!

Cristy: *hugging Hiei to death* YEP!

Neko: *sweatdrops* How would that be against him?

Cristy: *shrugs* He's not enjoying it is he? Then it's punishment. *hugs him tighter*

All except Hiei and Cristy: *anime fall*

Yoko Kurama: *standing once again* Well, since Neko completed her task of saying the chant without being hit by a car, she is hereby admitted to the TPHC!

Neko: *tears in eyes* I'm so honored!

Hiei: *having spit out the sock* Well, one down, four to go. *sigh*

>>>

Neko has been accepted into the TPHC! Congratulations! For those of you who haven't had your initiations or had a chance to become an applicant, just be patient! I'm writing them! Who will be the next to enter the grand old club? Check out my next chapter, coming to ff.net soon!

Kawaii Youko ^_~